Molly Shannon asks about Irish Goodbyes

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: "Molly Shannon Asks About Irish Goodbyes"

Release Date: November 5, 2024
Podcast: Handsome
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, May Martin
Guest: Molly Shannon

---

Introduction

In this lively episode of "Handsome", comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and May Martin tackle a relatable social dilemma posed by guest Molly Shannon: "When you are leaving a party, do you say goodbye on your way out, or do you do the Irish exit—the quick say-no-goodbye exit?" The hosts delve into their personal habits, cultural nuances, and humorous anecdotes surrounding the act of departing gatherings gracefully—or not so gracefully.

---

Understanding the Irish Exit

The Irish exit, also known as the French exit, refers to leaving a social event without saying goodbye. The hosts explore the origins and implications of this practice:

• Fortune Feimster asks, "Why do you think they call it an Irish exit?" at [00:33:05], sparking a discussion on cultural etiquettes and alternative terms.

• May Martin adds, "I've heard it called a French exit as well," highlighting that different cultures have their own versions of discreet departures [00:33:09].

Personal Approaches to Leaving Parties

Each host shares their unique strategies for exiting events:

• Tig Notaro prefers a structured approach:

  "I do say goodbye when I leave and do my thank yous and everything, but I kind of... That's kind of my favorite part of being at a party is being like, okay, it's time to leave. Let's go say goodbye."
  [00:35:17]

• May Martin identifies strongly with the Irish exit, admitting:

  "I'm an Irish Exeter in a big way... that's why it's always a 45-minute process to me."
  [00:35:45]
  She explains that saying proper goodbyes often leads to extended farewells, making the exit more cumbersome.

• Fortune Feimster emphasizes her preference for formal goodbyes:

  "I'm not an Irish goodbye or Exeter because I feel too guilty. I feel like I need to properly say thank you to the host to tell my friends I'm leaving."
  [00:55:22]

Humorous Anecdotes and Stories

The conversation flourishes with entertaining personal stories:

• Tig Notaro reminisces about her close friendship with Molly Shannon:

  "I have the absolute pleasure of living in the same neighborhood as Molly. She rides her bike around the neighborhood... she's like the mayor of our neighborhood."
  [00:29:21]

• May Martin shares a funny incident involving her attempt to coordinate an exit from a party:

  "I organized a cast gathering and booked karaoke for an after-party, knowing I wouldn't attend. My friend gave me grace, letting me make a graceful exit without judgment."
  [00:35:39]

• Fortune Feimster reflects on her high school experience performing as Mary Katherine Gallagher:

  "I dressed up as Mary Katherine Gallagher and did her sketch in the talent show. That was my first taste of performing."
  [00:30:24]

Molly Shannon's Perfect Irish Exit

When Molly Shannon shares her approach, the hosts are all ears:

• Molly recounts a memorable party where she orchestrated a dramatic exit:

  "There was a dance circle and I made a big scene... and then I zipped out. That was my perfect Irish exit."
  [00:57:58]

• Tig Notaro humorously critiques the effectiveness of such an exit:

  "But that would seem like you were really there partying if you've made such a huge scene like that."
  [00:58:12]

Balancing Etiquette and Personal Comfort

The hosts discuss the balance between being courteous and maintaining personal comfort:

• Tig Notaro appreciates having a mission when leaving:

  "I love to get up and beeline over and do my goodbyes. And that is the most fun."
  [00:35:27]

• May Martin acknowledges the challenge of setting boundaries:

  "That's my lifelong journey. For sure."
  [00:36:38]

• Fortune Feimster advocates for respecting different approaches:

  "If you make your presence known pretty hardcore, and then just dip out, it's a valid strategy."
  [00:58:25]

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the importance of understanding diverse social behaviors and embracing individual preferences:

• Fortune Feimster wraps up the discussion:

  "I wasn't an Irish goodbye or Exeter because I feel too guilty. I feel like I need to properly say thank you to the host to tell my friends I'm leaving."
  [00:55:22]

• Tig Notaro emphasizes the fun in planning exits:

  "I love to get up and beeline over and do my goodbyes. And that is the most fun."
  [00:35:27]

• May Martin encourages embracing one's style:

  "I really appreciate the friends in my life who give me grace. They let me do my thing."
  [00:35:45]

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Fortune Feimster [00:33:05]:

  "Why do you think they call it an Irish exit?"

• Tig Notaro [00:35:17]:

  "That's kind of my favorite part of being at a party is being like, okay, it's time to leave. Let's go say goodbye."

• May Martin [00:35:45]:

  "I'm an Irish Exeter in a big way... that's why it's always a 45-minute process to me."

• Molly Shannon [00:57:58]:

  "It was my perfect Irish exit."

• Tig Notaro [00:58:12]:

  "That's a good plan if you don't want to go somewhere for a long time to, like, make your presence known pretty hardcore, and then just dip out."

Additional Highlights

• The episode is peppered with humorous banter about roommates, personal quirks, and shared experiences, adding depth and relatability to the hosts' interactions.

• Promotional segments are seamlessly integrated, promoting products like Allstate home insurance, Uncommon Goods, and more, though these are minimized in the summary per user instructions.

• The camaraderie among Tig, Fortune, and May shines through, making the discussion engaging for both regular listeners and newcomers.

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Handsome" masterfully blends humor with genuine conversation, offering listeners insightful perspectives on social etiquette while keeping the tone light and entertaining. Whether you prefer the politeness of saying goodbye or the stealth of an Irish exit, Tig, Fortune, and May provide relatable commentary that resonates with anyone navigating the complexities of social gatherings.

Transcript

[Fortune Feimster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Fortune Feimster]

This is a headgum podcast.

[May Martin]

Handsome Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cheers. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. It's your handsome host forging the themester.

[May Martin]

And I'm one of your handsome hosts, May Martin.

[Tig Notaro]

And I am your very, very dear friend, also a host on the Handsome Pod, Tig Notaro.

[May Martin]

Woo, woo, woo.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're back together.

[Tig Notaro]

We are. It's been a while.

[May Martin]

It feels good.

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys are both in Toronto. I'm away from you. I feel like a piece of me is missing.

[Tig Notaro]

Two pieces.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's right. Two pieces.

[May Martin]

Two crucial pieces.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. May, how's filming going?

[May Martin]

Oh, it's going well, thank you. Yeah, I got like three weeks left and yeah, it's. I've like finally hit my groove right near the end of the shoot.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're like, I got this down.

[May Martin]

Like, I think I got this. Yeah, I'm having a great time.

[Tig Notaro]

I Saw Lisa Gilroy today.

[May Martin]

Lisa Gilroy? Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

And Alanna Johnson. I think they both saw a clip or something of your show and they're like, this looks incredible.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[May Martin]

Well, okay. Lisa Gilroy and Alanna Johnston were both at my house last night because I was closing the bear portal finally, and they came over to paint bears and. And then next thing you knew, everybody left and just the three of us watched that new M. Night Shyamalan movie, the Trap. Yeah, it was a real. It was a real blast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did you get scared?

[May Martin]

I spent about 20 minutes deciding whether I was going to scare Lisa. Like, I had a whole plan to go out of the room and secretly exit the house and go around to the window. And then I thought, you know what? I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

Does Lisa scare easily?

[May Martin]

Yes. And I'm thinking the one time that she got scared and she did burst into tears. So I thought, I don't want that. We were. We were in one of those immersive horror things that I make people go to and.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You two are pranksters. I. I don't do the pranks.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You don't like a spook as much?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't like scaring people.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, okay. You just like, that's not my silly.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I like not just being silly, but teeing myself up to look very foolish.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, yes.

[May Martin]

How's your. How's your filming going? Have you had any foolish.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm just working a lot with Holly Hunter and that scared me.

[Fortune Feimster]

Get out on the deck. We've got the space to save the space.

[Tig Notaro]

We gotta save the space. Well, I feel like. I don't know. I don't know why I'm getting faster speech from her because I feel like. Well, I'm not hearing her be like, we gotta save the space.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, like, she'll be like, she's more on it. Like a little more jacked up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Is kind of how it feels, Dr. Pepper. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You got.

[May Martin]

When you're saving space, you gotta be. You gotta be.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think it's called the space.

[May Martin]

Sorry. When you're saving the space, you gotta be on it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You gotta save the space. You know, you can't just dilly dally. You gotta get out there and save that space.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was never really into science as a kid, so that's why I don't know more about the space.

[Tig Notaro]

I thought you were gonna say you were never really into Holly Hunter.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was gonna say definitely into Holly Hunter.

[Tig Notaro]

Do not talk about the star of Starfleet Academy.

[May Martin]

Like Starfleet Academy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Definitely into Holly Hunter.

[Tig Notaro]

Holly Hunter is Stephanie's favorite actor across the board. No ifs, ands, or buts.

[Fortune Feimster]

I get it. Raising Arizona. Come on now.

[May Martin]

Oh, raising Arizona. Yeah. I wish I had that kind of certainty about anything. Like, this is my favorite actor. It would be so relaxing to just know. I kind of feel that way about the Beatles. I'm like, they are my favorite. And that's calming to me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I feel that way about Kelly Clarkson.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And a power ballad.

[May Martin]

There's a lot of space news going on because we have two moons at the moment. Did you see that?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, wait, are you about to moon us?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[Fortune Feimster]

Go to YouTube right now.

[Tig Notaro]

Go to YouTube right now. Mace cancer down.

[Fortune Feimster]

Full moon. That would be the best full main. Main.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you guys hear?

[May Martin]

We have two moons at the moment.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then you pull your pants down and ass. Right in the zoom.

[May Martin]

Right in the zoom. But I did, when they announced it so casually, they're like, oh, yeah, we're gonna have two moons for the next couple of months. And it's like, what? Like, no one ever said, oh, at some point we might have two moons like that. Like, it feels a bit not.

[Tig Notaro]

You needed a heads up.

[May Martin]

I needed a heads up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You can't just spring two moons on.

[Fortune Feimster]

May be able to see them.

[May Martin]

One of them is the size of a school bus, so I think it's too small to see, but I don't get why. So it's orbiting us for like a month and a half and then it's just going to go away. Like, not to be a conspiracy theorist, but this sounds like aliens.

[Tig Notaro]

I have to be really honest with everybody right now.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do it.

[May Martin]

Here we go.

[Tig Notaro]

I never heard about two moons.

[May Martin]

You gotta get online.

[Tig Notaro]

Is it in the news?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, truth be told, I have been staying away from the news as of late. Today is election day. Go vote. Whatever you do, vote. Listen to our podcast and then go vote. We encourage everyone to exercise your freedom to vote because, ladies and gents, you got.

[Tig Notaro]

And everyone in between.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pretty little ladies. Pretty little ladies.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And the. And our dudes listening. Go vote.

[May Martin]

Please go.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I stayed away from the news because it's just been. It's been conspiracy theory, like, to the degree for a while.

[Tig Notaro]

It is so crazy how conspiracy theories used to be so, so fringe. So fringe. And now it is.

[May Martin]

It is.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, go ahead.

[May Martin]

I feel like, I mean, maybe I'm one of the. Part of the problem because I'm like.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, for sure you are.

[May Martin]

For sure I am. Because, like, you'll see it. I see like a news headline. It's like top scientists have figured out how to travel backwards in time. And then you just keep scrolling. And like, I think any day now something crazy is going to happen. That second moon is going to descend.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I think I'm so like in the, like what we're dealing with on a daily basis. Just from the climate stuff and the weather stuff and the hurricanes and.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, that's all the climate stuff, the politics and.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know what I mean? Like all of it. It's not just the hurricane. It's all of it combined and the politics and the division and the fighting and the guns and the. It's like I can't also handle the conspiracy theories on top of.

[Tig Notaro]

I thought you were gonna say you can't also handle a second moon moving in.

[May Martin]

I think that's fair.

[Fortune Feimster]

The moon I can handle. There are worse.

[May Martin]

It's a lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

There are worse things.

[Tig Notaro]

I can handle a school bus sized moon. Okay. Throw that at me. Any old day.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I think I. It must be. I wonder if it's like on purpose to distract us from all the real problems. They're like, well, there's a second moon or. Or maybe I just as escapism so I don't have to face all the really pressing problems. I'm like, yeah, this moon, guys, I.

[Fortune Feimster]

Think it might be more for you to escape because I don't, I don't know that a lot of people out there like, oh, man, that's. You hear about that second moon, how are we gonna keep going? It was a lot to process.

[Tig Notaro]

It was a. Thomas, were you aware of the second moon?

[Fortune Feimster]

I knew about the second moon. Yeah. See, the Canadians love our moon story.

[May Martin]

It was a big topic of conversation last night when we were doing our bear paintings, talking about the second moon and. Would you guys like to see my bear painting?

[Fortune Feimster]

We would, absolutely.

[Tig Notaro]

I've already seen it.

[May Martin]

Have you?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, Lisa showed me.

[May Martin]

Oh, okay. Okay. Wow, look at you with the inside.

[Fortune Feimster]

Scoop of the bear paintings.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, way to attack me, Fortune, about seeing a bear painting before you.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't need you to show it to me because my best friend Lisa already showed it to me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, me and Lisa are really close and she's like, hey, look at May's bear painting. And here's mine. And don't tell Fortune. Well, you guys, sorry things got wrong.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sorry the election's pulling everyone apart.

[May Martin]

No, it's the gravitational pull of the second moon. It's fucking with all of our internal fluids and water.

[Fortune Feimster]

Definitely the moon. Not the electric. The pending electric.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Okay. This is. So this was. I was worried about painting the wrestling bear Caesar. And then I checked with Raph, that woman who did the Malochio spell. If you're just listening to the pod.

[Tig Notaro]

For the first time, this is not anything new.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is part of Bear Journey.

[May Martin]

This is. I think now the saga is ending. So this is my bear.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's really good, May.

[May Martin]

Thank you so much. He's wearing a Caesar crown because he.

[Fortune Feimster]

Looks like a bear wolf.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, I see that. Yeah. Here's his face, I would say.

[Tig Notaro]

Looks like a wolf.

[Fortune Feimster]

Beowulf.

[Tig Notaro]

Beowulf.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's what we call him.

[May Martin]

That's really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Beowulf. And so the painting is. It was part of the release to get it out.

[May Martin]

Like, in the painting, the bear is like. Like really releasing its rage, which is what the real wrestling bear never did. He was so docile and placid. And I feel like I gotta release my inner bear rage. And so I painted it. I feel good. I might give the painting to Joe. That's what I think I might do.

[Fortune Feimster]

That would be nice.

[Tig Notaro]

Joe the button maker.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, my name is Joe. I've got a wife and three kids.

[Tig Notaro]

And I push back.

[Fortune Feimster]

So you. You feel like you release some inner rage.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's the coincidences continue. Because my friend brought a bear painting over that she's had for 15 years. And we're looking at the painting, and then on the back we see it says, for Jesse the Elder. And we're like, what? You can imagine, this electrifies me. Then it's like the artist assigned it Mike Juno, and we're talking about this, and then my buddy Jason comes over to my random buddy Jason, and he goes, oh, I know Mike Juno. We go, what? He goes, yeah, yeah. Because she goes, I bought it at a. At a yard sale 15 years ago. And Jason goes, let me text Mike Juno text him, goes, did you paint this bear? He goes, yeah. Guess what Mike Juno's job is now.

[Fortune Feimster]

What?

[May Martin]

He's a wrestler. For real. So anyway, I think. I think that closed the loop and.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Are you feeling better?

[May Martin]

Much.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Do you guys. Do you paint? I feel like painting just for fun for a couple hours. You light a candle, you sit. Do you do that with your kids, Tig?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I was going to say, you know, Max and Finn, of course, do art and painting because they're children, but Max, we call it his art studio. And it's this table set up in our driveway. And he just sets up all of the paint. And he just. He'll come home from school, put his backpack down, walk out to the driveway, and just start painting. And it's really incredible just that he has that interest and drive.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I kind of understand art therapy now. Cause I'm like, something about just pushing colors around. It's really nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

People love it. I am not a big painter or drawer, but when presented with the opportunity, I've found that I really thrive. One recent example being that Chili's baby back ribs, they have a thing where you can color a chili pepper. Not the band, an actual pepper.

[Tig Notaro]

Sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

And they raise money for St. Jude's they sent me some markers to paint a pepper.

[May Martin]

A real pepper or.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, like a picture of a pepper.

[May Martin]

Oh, cool. And what was your style?

[Fortune Feimster]

So I went gay. Yeah.

[May Martin]

That checks out.

[Fortune Feimster]

And made the pepper of the rainbow flag and felt. Because the headquarters of Chili's is in Texas.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And so my pepper was gonna go be sent to Texas to be put in one of their stores. And I thought, you know what? I'm gonna send a little gay.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Chili pepper to Texas.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, they do have gay people in Texas.

[Fortune Feimster]

They sure do. And they have gay people. And gay people love Chili's. Love a triple dipper.

[May Martin]

I've never been.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's my go to.

[Tig Notaro]

You've never been to Texas?

[Fortune Feimster]

You never been to Chili's either?

[May Martin]

I've never been to Texas.

[Fortune Feimster]

You've never been to Texas or Chili's?

[May Martin]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

What?

[May Martin]

I know. I know. I'd love to.

[Fortune Feimster]

We'll have to solve the Texas one for you at some point.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And we. We can solve the chili situation for you as well when you're back home.

[May Martin]

What did you say you had a triple dipper?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, maybe.

[Tig Notaro]

What is a triple dipper?

[May Martin]

What is that?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my friends. Thank God you asked. Now Tig's not gonna be interested in this. I don't think there's a lot of vegan food at Chili's.

[Tig Notaro]

How about they have a salad?

[Fortune Feimster]

So a triple dipper. And it's very popular on TikTok right now. But I've been an OG lover of triple dipper my entire life. It's an appetizer at Chili's where you can pick three of their appetizers, hence the triple dipper. And all three of those apps have a sauce you can dip it in. Hence the dipper is.

[May Martin]

Oh, is one of them like mozzarella sticks with a marinara?

[Fortune Feimster]

Not only is There a mozzarella situation. Mozzarella stick situation where you can get the OG Original with marinara sauce they now have. And I'm not sponsored by Chili's.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

This is just.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, when were you at Chili's last?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's been a minute. It has been a minute.

[Tig Notaro]

What's a minute? Like a week or a year?

[Fortune Feimster]

Like six months, probably.

[May Martin]

You're due for another.

[Fortune Feimster]

You can do a dipper. I'm due for a dipper for sure now. They have mozzarella sticks with a. Either a Nashville hot sauce or some kind of, like, honey bourbon glaze or something like that. And according to the kids on Tick Tock, they love them.

[May Martin]

It's so weird that Tick Tock is celebrate. It's like, we gotta get on board of this triple dipper.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's been a resurgence. It's weird. These. These youngins on Tik Tok, they find these things and they act like they've just discovered them. They're like, what's this? What? This triple dipper. What is this? Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And they might have just discovered it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I think they might have, but I've been going there since I was five.

[Tig Notaro]

So you love Chili's?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, they have Southwest. Southwest Southwestern egg rolls, which are amazing. They have honey chicken crispers, which is a chicken tender with this, like, sweet honey sauce.

[May Martin]

This is exactly my palette. This is perfect for me.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right, May, we'll go.

[Tig Notaro]

And you, you were correct in that it's not quite up my alley for you. And let's face it, saving money can be tough. So when there's an opportunity to save, you gotta take it. Here's an easy one. Getting a home insurance quote from Allstate.

[Fortune Feimster]

Check Allstate first, and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Allstate.

[Tig Notaro]

Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings. Savings vary.

[Fortune Feimster]

As soon as summer is over, I usually give up on shaving. It feels like a choreography. But this summer, I started using the Athena Club razor. And I'm obsessed. I actually look forward to shaving now. Not only is the razor gorgeous, it's also incredibly gentle on my skin, leaving it moisturized, super smooth, and bump free. It's now a year round essential in my routine, and I'm excited to maintain my smooth skin all year long.

[May Martin]

Here's what I love about the Razer Fortune. First of all, the price. The kit's only $10 and it comes with two blade heads, a magnetic hook and your choice of handle color. I went with midnight blue. Replacement blades are automatically sent to you with free shipping, which is amazing because I've definitely been guilty of using a blade way past when I should have been retired. I get my Athena Club razors online, but they're also available at your local target.

[Fortune Feimster]

Show your skin you care with the Athena Club Razor Kit. Sign up today and you'll get 30 off your first razor kit order. Just go to athenaclub.com and use promo code Handsome. That's a T H E N A c l u b.com with promo code handsome for 30% off.

[Tig Notaro]

The environment is a critical issue for us here at Handsome. It's so important to us and we know it's important to you too. That's why we're proud to be sponsored by Thrive Market who are committed to ethical sourcing for all of their products. That's better for the planet and it's better for you too. Take the stress out of grocery shopping for your family with Thrive Market's commitment to quality with their trusted ingredients.

[Fortune Feimster]

They even restrict a thousand plus ingredients that are found at conventional grocery stores so you can shop for your family with peace of mind. Stuff like Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar, Halo freeze dried treats and even Eco's plant powered cleaning supplies. Thrive Market's mission is to make healthy and sustainable living easy and affordable for everyone.

[Tig Notaro]

Want to shop at a grocery store that actually cares for your health? Go to thrivemarket.com handsome for 30% off your first order plus a free sixty dollar gift. That's T H R I V E market.com handsome thrive market.com handsome and it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Smells like baby bakery so I just feel like that would be mean to take you.

[May Martin]

Wait, can we Fortune can we tell? Because we did a minisode and one of the questions really stuck with me which was if you were one food and one beverage, what are you? Right? It's like one food and one drink and what did we say Fortune was like?

[Fortune Feimster]

I was what my friend told me I was which was a chicken sandwich and a Shirley Temple. But May. But May thought I was milk and chocolate chip cookies and either of those.

[May Martin]

I think apply but Shirley Temple. I really see you're a Shirley Temple and then I can't remember what I was but then yeah. What do you think you are?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I'm going to go ahead and be a Roy Rogers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh we said I think Thomas Said water.

[May Martin]

Thomas had a glass of cold water.

[Tig Notaro]

Who, me?

[May Martin]

Thomas said, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

It's kind of the only thing I drink is water.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I think that's why Roy Rogers is.

[May Martin]

What, whiskey?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't even know what it is.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, is it Coke and maybe.

[Tig Notaro]

And maraschino, cherry juice, all the grenadine.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's what's in the Sprite. I mean, Shirley Temple, grenadine, Sprite.

[Tig Notaro]

I guess it's that. That's in a Coke, is a Roy Rogers.

[Fortune Feimster]

I said you'd be a salad, maybe.

[Tig Notaro]

No, you know, I'd be. Here's what I'd be. I'd be a kombucha. A ginger. Ginger kombucha. And I would be a delicious grain bowl.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God, A grain bowl?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. There'd be, like, mushrooms, quinoa. What are they, sweet potatoes, Broccoli? God, yes. Avocado. Hello, grain bowl.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hello, grain bowl.

[May Martin]

I. I thought. I think I said for you, maybe one of the. You described that, like, date dessert. One time.

[Fortune Feimster]

My friend makes those after listening to our handsome pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Does she love them or what?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's a gay boy, a gay man, and he loves. Absolutely loves them. And I went to a party at Karen Kilgarev's house, which you were invited to, but a couple months back, and he brought them to that party.

[Tig Notaro]

Were they a hit?

[Fortune Feimster]

They were fantastic.

[Tig Notaro]

Because anytime I've brought them or I've made them at a party, people are like, what. What is this? Oh, dates. I don't know. And I'm like, just cork.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was Zagnoey Towers, very funny comedian. He made them after listening to the handsome pod.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's really good. But I still stand by. I'm a ginger kombucha and a delicious grain bowl.

[May Martin]

Yeah, you know, I like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have realized that I do love food that comes in a bowl.

[Tig Notaro]

I do, too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

I did find. I did realize that about myself. There used to be a place in LA called Grain Lab, and it's no longer. Or they sold it. It's not this. I don't know if what's the deal with it now, but it used to just be these bowls with, like, veggies. And I would get. I did. I do eat meat. I apologize.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey. And it was like, you, girl.

[Fortune Feimster]

Chicken and couscous bowl. Or like, a steak and sweet potato bowl. And it was like, my favorite thing in the world to eat. And I only want my food in bowls now.

[May Martin]

I got made fun of because I like. Like, if I order takeout, like, Vietnamese or Something I got like a faux or a. Or like a. One of those. Like a bun. You know, a noodle salad thing. I want to eat it out of, like, a trough. Like, I'm. I sometimes get, like, a giant pot that you would cook pasta in, like, a metal pot. And I'll just dump everything in there and get a spoon.

[Fortune Feimster]

You just want it all mixed in together and stuff?

[May Martin]

Yeah, because I don't want it. It won't all fit on one plate, and I don't want to do, you know, one plate thing.

[Tig Notaro]

I have a question.

[May Martin]

Yeah, sure.

[Tig Notaro]

Is it called faux or pho? I thought it was.

[May Martin]

It's definitely pho. You're right.

[Tig Notaro]

I just.

[May Martin]

I get embarrassed because I feel like I'm being like, croissant. Like, you know what I mean? So I just say, oh, I see.

[Tig Notaro]

That makes sense, because I. I've spent a good amount of time in Australia doing shows.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God. That's so funny that you brought that up, because I, too, spent a lot of time. Wait, that I was with Jennifer Lopez. Yeah, there was lots of things to do in Australia.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, no, I'm not from Australia. I know. It's very hard to tell from the accent.

[May Martin]

Did you. Tig. Were you starting to become Australian?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Do the accent, Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

I was with Jennifer Lopez, and we, of course, were riding kangaroos.

[Fortune Feimster]

Kangaroos haven't yet to watch out for razor blades.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, Razor blades.

[May Martin]

Wait, what's that reference?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's just an easy word to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Say in Australia in an Australian accent. Razor blades.

[May Martin]

Rise of lights.

[Fortune Feimster]

And do you know how I learned this? And this is going to be. A lot of people probably know this trick, but if you don't know this trick, you can convince somebody for, like, two seconds that you can speak an Australian accent. If you say, raise up lights. Raise lights. Raise up lights. Say it.

[May Martin]

Raise up lights. All right. And it sounds. If you say it fast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. You got to put it together.

[Tig Notaro]

Raise up lights.

[May Martin]

Raise up lights. Do you guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you guys Australian?

[May Martin]

Yeah. You're not. You're not.

[Tig Notaro]

Did you make this up?

[May Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

Someone told me about it years ago.

[Tig Notaro]

Raise up lights.

[Fortune Feimster]

See, but. But put it together faster.

[Tig Notaro]

Raise up lights.

[May Martin]

Raise up lights.

[Fortune Feimster]

But with the intention of it sounding.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

I thought. Are you guys. Listeners right now are dying.

[Tig Notaro]

Are throwing up. Raise up blades.

[Fortune Feimster]

They're like these stupid American Canadian lights. Rise, rise up. Rise Ablides. Right. And then if you keep. If you put it all into one thing and don't, like, enunciate. Rise Ablaze.

[May Martin]

But now you're not saying raise up lights at all.

[Fortune Feimster]

Say rise. Rise.

[Tig Notaro]

Say rise.

[Fortune Feimster]

Rise.

[May Martin]

Say rise. Rise up.

[Fortune Feimster]

Rise up. Risa, take the pee off of it. Light lights, but go blot blades, buys the blades.

[Tig Notaro]

This is I want my money back.

[May Martin]

Is what I. Yeah, me too.

[Fortune Feimster]

I truly.

[May Martin]

I thought that you guys were. I thought that the sentence like to learn an Australian accent was closer to.

[Fortune Feimster]

An Australian accent than you've ever been by saying raise up lights.

[Tig Notaro]

Jennifer Lopez.

[Fortune Feimster]

See, I thought Jennifer Lopez.

[May Martin]

You guys were saying a sentence that was designed to give you an Australian accent, which was. I was with Jennifer Lopez.

[Tig Notaro]

I brought up Australia not to go down this weird road. I was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sue me. Sue me.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, I'll see you in court. We're gonna have some listeners going, oh, my gosh. Tig is suing Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Eat my ass. Gladly.

[Tig Notaro]

Hey, eat my ass. Say that. Say eight.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you. And you have to have the last part. So, like a question. Eat my ass.

[Tig Notaro]

Ate eight. My. My ace. Ace ate my ass.

[Fortune Feimster]

We apologize to all of our Australian.

[Tig Notaro]

Listeners, even listeners everywhere else where they're listening. All I wanted to say is, I understand what you're saying, May, about pho and faux, because after spending so much time in Melbourne. Melbourne. All the locals say Melbourne. And you sound so weird being an American in Australia saying, I love your city, Melbourne. And then I left Australia, and I was like, oh, yeah, I was in Melbourne. And people. Melvin. And I'm like, you can't win.

[May Martin]

You can't win.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're right. You can't win.

[Tig Notaro]

I want to win.

[May Martin]

I want to win so bad.

[Fortune Feimster]

I want you both to win.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

You don't have to say it back.

[Tig Notaro]

Raise up lights.

[Fortune Feimster]

In fact, I don't.

[Tig Notaro]

Raise up lights.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't want you to say it back.

[May Martin]

Anywho. Well, I. Should we get to our question?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, let's get to our question.

[May Martin]

Yeah, Great. I'm a massive deep fan. We're all deep fans of this person.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes, we are. Who isn't?

[May Martin]

Today's questioner is an actress, comedian, and writer who became one of the most beloved SNL cast members of all time. Over the course of her six years on the show, she won the Spirit award for best supporting actress in her for her role in Other People and has appeared in films including Happiness and Wet Hot American Summer, as well as TV shows like the Other Two, White Lotus. Molly Shannon is asking today's question.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, she's the best.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just could go on about Molly forever. She is such an influence on my comedy. I know, because growing up, like, her cast, like the Will Ferrell cast and Cherry Oteri, they were. They were like my people.

[May Martin]

Yeah, same. I thought they were the cast for me.

[Tig Notaro]

And I have to say, one of my absolute favorite movies of all is Happiness. Oh, really?

[May Martin]

I was. One of my favorite movies of all time is Superstar.

[Fortune Feimster]

Superstar is really amazing.

[May Martin]

She's so good. When she makes out with that tree, and she's so committed to it, it's so embarrassing. And she's just being, like, talking dirty to this tree and being like, you're a bad boy. It's so good. I lost my shit.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I've told you all this before, but I have the absolute pleasure of living in the same neighborhood as Molly. And she rides her bike around the neighborhood. She is a fixture in our neighborhood with her little bike and her basket.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I love it.

[Tig Notaro]

It is such a treat to. To see her just pedaling around just like the mayor of our neighborhood, because.

[Fortune Feimster]

She'S such a, like, present person. You'll talk to her. She's looking in the eyes, and she's very passionate about talking to you. And when I was in high school, I would, like, have, like, little moments of being funny or, like, trying to be a performer. And for my senior year, we had, like, a talent show that you could sign up for, and I dressed up as Mary Katherine Gallagher and just basically did her sketch in the talent show. And that was, like, my first taste of performing.

[Tig Notaro]

Were you wearing roller blades?

[Fortune Feimster]

No blades. No roll of blades. Because I didn't want to fall. But I had the whole Catholic school girl outfit, the long wig.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Did, like, the hands in the armpits and the smelling of them. And sometimes when I get nervous, I put my hands under my arms and then I smell them.

[May Martin]

And do you remember that when she is confessing to the priest in the. In the confessional and he says, what are your sins? Or whatever? And she says, father, I think my feelings would best be expressed in a monologue from the Sissy SpaceX movie. And she does a dramatic monologue that's so insane.

[Fortune Feimster]

Meredith Baxter Bernie or something like that. Yeah, yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because she just commits so hard to these characters. And Sally O'Malley. Anytime a friend turns 50, I'm so giddy to be like, I'm 50, 50 years old. And I like to kick and stretch and kick because I'm 50.

[May Martin]

I feel like we've. We've. We've found a way to say that on the pod a bunch of times. I don't Know why? It's like one of our main quotes.

[Fortune Feimster]

But, yeah, she's unbelievable. And I've. She's seen her in social situations, but I've never. I don't think I've ever told her just how much I love her. So maybe she'll listen to this one.

[Tig Notaro]

Day and she'll love you, Molly.

[May Martin]

We love you.

[Tig Notaro]

Every single person alive loves Molly Shannon. End of story.

[Fortune Feimster]

End of story.

[May Martin]

Should we hear her questions?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, please.

[Molly Shannon]

Hello, handsome podcast. It's Molly Shannon. And my question for all of you today is, and it's a very serious question, when you are leaving a party, do you say goodbye on your way out, or do you do the Irish exit? The quick say no goodbye exit? That's my question.

[May Martin]

All right, That's a really good one from an Irish.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why do you think they call it an Irish exit?

[May Martin]

I don't know. Because they. I've heard it called a French exit as well.

[Tig Notaro]

I've heard a few different exits.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe in Ireland they're just never. They say top of the morning, and they never say top of the morning. Bottom of the. Bottom of the morning.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I will say that they're probably too drunk.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. What?

[May Martin]

Are you allowed to make fun of them if being drunk if you're not Irish? I don't know. Where are you?

[Tig Notaro]

I am Irish.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh.

[May Martin]

Oh, I thought you were Italian.

[Tig Notaro]

Irish hotel. Are you? Only one thing as an Irish person that doesn't ever leave parties drunk. I feel like my fellow Irish Irish folk maybe stumble out and they can't find anyone to say goodbye to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Saying goodbye. I don't know if this is at every party or if this is an LA thing, but it is a. It is like a 45 minute process.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. It is so long. And I will have to gear up for it. Like, we went to a thing. We went to this charity event last night, and I had to. I had to say to Jax, all right, we need to go. Let's go say goodbye to Arnold. Let's go say goodbye to Heather. We gotta say like. I'm doing an exit strategy of like. And it's still 45 minutes later. We're leaving.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I do say goodbye.

[May Martin]

You do? I do.

[Tig Notaro]

I do say goodbye when I leave and do my thank yous and everything, but I kind of. That's kind of my favorite part of being at a party is being like, okay, it's time to leave. Let's go say goodbye. Because then you have a mission and you don't get stuck talking to a weird Person you just like, you go in and you say goodbye. You talk to the host and the people that you know, and then you bolt. Because if you're in the middle of a party and you don't really know anybody or you don't, you know, some people, you know, you're just a sitting duck. And I am not somebody that needs to be babysat or talked to at a party or anything. I like to sit and watch, you know?

[May Martin]

Yeah, I respect that a lot.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And then when it's time to go, I love to get up and beeline over and do my goodbyes. And that is the most fun.

[May Martin]

I'm a. I'm an Irish Exeter in a big way. And because I think partly because I have no boundaries. So that's prime time when I'm saying goodbyes to just be making promises I can't keep, writing checks I can't cash. I'm saying, hey, it was so good to see you, so let's hang out tomorrow. Or like, let's like, oh, we gotta do that thing, you know, And.

[Tig Notaro]

And.

[May Martin]

And so I end up just making all these promises. And then. So when I do an Irish exit, I really appreciate the friends in my life who. Who give me grace. Like, the other night I had a. I hosted, like, a kind of cast gathering, and I booked karaoke for an after party. I knew I wasn't going to go. In my heart, it was, like, late. I was tired, and everyone was like, okay, karaoke. And I was the one that organized it. And I went, yeah, yeah, I'm going to meet you guys there. I'm just going to go. And I knew. And my friend looked at me and was like, you're not coming, right? And I was like, no. And she said, I give you grace. She said, don't worry about it. And she didn't. You know what I mean? And she let me do this. My lie and say, no, I'm just stopping.

[Tig Notaro]

So funny, though, was your friend Jennifer Lopez?

[Fortune Feimster]

Jennifer Lopez, Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But has there ever been a part of you that as you've gotten older, that where you're like, maybe I should just not tell people I'm going to do the thing I know I'm not going to do?

[May Martin]

That's my lifelong journey. For sure. For sure. Yeah. Sleep is amazing. We can all agree. And it's even more amazing when you're sleeping on a blissy pillowcase. I've been sleeping on this blissy pillowcase for months, and my hair has never looked better. And I care a lot about my hair. That's right. You can get better sleep, hair and skin with Blissey's award winning 100% mulberry silk pillowcases. Silk is better than cotton and synthetic satin. Plus Blissey pillowcases are hypoallergenic so you can sleep more comfortably without itching or rashes. They're also super easy to wash and maintain and they make very good gifts.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh yeah, I got my beautiful blue Blissy pillowcase on my bed right now and it feels so luxurious against my skin and it's so breathable and my hair never look better.

[May Martin]

Blissy's been featured on Good Morning America, the View Live with Kelly and Mark and it's Dermatologist recommended. Everybody loves them. They have over 2 million fans and you could be next because you're a listener. Blissey's offering 60 nights risk free plus an additional 30 off when you [e-mail] handsome that's B L I S S Y.com handsome and use code handsome to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

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[Tig Notaro]

What's great about Mint Mobile is that what you see is what you get. I've had mysterious charges appear on my phone bill that I've never seen before for services I didn't ask for. It's never a good feeling. So say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan. For just 15 bucks a month. Go to mintmobile.com handsome that's mintmobile.com handsome cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com handsome $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

[Tig Notaro]

Remember when JLO wore that green Versace dress to the 2000 Emmys?

[Fortune Feimster]

How could I forget? Tig Iconic get that JLo glow for yourself with JLo's Beauty Deluxe Kit. The one and done skincare solution Clinically proven to tighten and live for instant long lasting results. JLO believes ageless beauty has no expiration date. And the secret is this easy five step routine. JLo believes your skin care should work as hard as you do with powerhouse ingredients in transformational combinations.

[Tig Notaro]

I've been using the that overnight hustle aha plus BHA night serum and my skin has never been more like JLo's. Want that JLo glow? Head to jlobeauty.com handsome and get a special gift of four free masks for listeners of Handsome, head to jlobeauty.Com handsome for four free masks and free shipping today. J L O beauty.com/handsome because there'll be.

[May Martin]

Some.001% of me that's like, yeah, maybe I'll get a second win, but I know deep down I won't.

[Tig Notaro]

But, but I always assume that you're always on your second and third win because don't you stay out all night and do.

[May Martin]

Do you know? No, I, maybe when we started this pod, I was doing that. Yeah, I'm, I'm working too much. But maybe, maybe I'm heading back into. Are you a while.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you a late night goose?

[May Martin]

Used to be, yeah. I mean I stay up late, but I'm usually just reading sad poems and things.

[Tig Notaro]

Stay up late reading sad poems, but.

[May Martin]

Poems, yeah, I'm definitely running on fumes though. That's true.

[Fortune Feimster]

And over those eight hours last night.

[May Martin]

I was too busy watching Josh Hartnett. I think I slept like five hours.

[Tig Notaro]

My God, I would kill to sleep five hours.

[May Martin]

Really?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my God. I'm going on like three.

[May Martin]

Seriously?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. From the night sweats, from the onesie.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm full blown menopause. I'm like, man, I'd give anything for five hours.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I love a good seven or eight hour night sleep.

[Tig Notaro]

Listen, what I would do for seven, eight hours sleep.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've been getting seven or eight the last couple weeks and it's nice.

[May Martin]

That's really nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Look at this face.

[May Martin]

Because you know what, if you don't sleep for like, it's not long. Oh, sorry. I'm looking at that face. Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Go to YouTube right now if you want to see fortune's face.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thanks to eight hours sleep and my Jennifer Lopez J. Lo beauty mask. Whoa.

[May Martin]

You are glowing. I will say thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my gosh. You know one of our number one fans, Amanda Klutes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Love Amanda.

[Tig Notaro]

Love Amanda. She listens to this podcast religiously. Well, after we promoted Jennifer. Jennifer Lopez.

[Fortune Feimster]

JLO Beauty.

[Tig Notaro]

JLO beauty. She texted me and teased me about how much better I looked since I started using.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's true.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Look at it.

[Tig Notaro]

Well.

[May Martin]

Yeah. You are. You are really glowing.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know I'm glowing because I've been using my JLO Beauty and Sleeping.

[May Martin]

But if you. If you don't sleep for like three or four days, it's not even that long. You die. Like it's crazy that we designed that. Yeah, like you, it's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, is he gonna take. You need more sleep. I'm worried about you.

[Tig Notaro]

I will die. I just want to let all headed in that direction.

[Fortune Feimster]

How dare you.

[May Martin]

How fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

How dare you.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm getting, you know, three. Oh my God.

[May Martin]

Oh my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Go to YouTube.

[Tig Notaro]

Go to YouTube at my funeral.

[Fortune Feimster]

And because you're Irish Italian. I'll sing in French. Oh, daddy boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling from glen to glen Hunt down the mountainside the snow has come and all the.

[May Martin]

Roses falling Tiggleby turning in her grave Tiggleby.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait, it's Sigleby. It's you. It's you or me.

[Tig Notaro]

Doesn't matter.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's me. It's me.

[Tig Notaro]

It's us.

[Fortune Feimster]

I must go and bide and I must bide. I'll work on the lyrics before Georgin.

[Tig Notaro]

Would you mind singing that to me to sleep? Singing that to me to sleep.

[Fortune Feimster]

Singing to top of the barn and toya. A little known for my Irish goodbyes. I'm also known for singing a little diddy at a funeral. Or also if you're having menopause and you need to sleep.

[May Martin]

I feel like some amazing accents.

[Tig Notaro]

I was gonna say you're not known for your Irish accent.

[Fortune Feimster]

How dare you.

[Tig Notaro]

How dare you.

[May Martin]

Ah, unfortunately you're gonna find a way to sing at your own funeral. Somehow. You're gonna.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm gonna have a pre recorded album that they're forced to play.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And everyone's gonna have to sit there and listen.

[Tig Notaro]

Do you guys know my old roommate, Chris Fairbanks?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. Love Chris. Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

He's one of the funniest people walking around this planet. When we first moved in, we used to live in Venice together. Venice, California. And when we first moved into our house, we used to always talk to each other like, oh, he calls me Tiggity. And he's like, hello Tiggity. And I call him Chrissity. And when we first moved in, we were just walking around the house getting things set up, cleaning and talking to each other like that. Like. And he takes some trash out and meets our neighbor and he's still talking like that. He was like, yeah, we just moved in, me and my friend Tig. And the guy was like, where are you from? Chris is like, oh, sorry. I'm actually from Montana. My roommate and I were just talking, like, we were from Ireland.

[May Martin]

Anyway, when did you guys live together? Was it when you first moved to la?

[Tig Notaro]

No. We were performing in Boise, Idaho, and he opened for me, and we had so much fun. We were crying, laughing the whole weekend, and he was just going through a breakup. And I had just rented this house, and I said, if you don't have anywhere to go, you're welcome to move in with me. I didn't have an extra bedroom, but I had, like, this.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

I had this extra room that just had a door that, like, slid closed. There was no closet in there or anything. So he was like, really? And I was like, yeah. Because I just. I was like, oh, my God, I love this guy. And we moved in. We lived together almost a decade.

[Fortune Feimster]

No way.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

That's amazing. You knew right away when you met him, and you're good in a crisis. We know this. And he was going through a breakup, and you said, all right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I was like, hey. Because he. He just. Just broke up with his girlfriend, and he was, like, in the middle. He was, like, really in flux. And I just thought, well, I love this guy.

[Fortune Feimster]

I lived with a boy for, like, eight years. Fortune tell us not romantically.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

Who was the boy?

[Fortune Feimster]

My friend Steve. Shout Out.

[May Martin]

His last name was Shout Out.

[Fortune Feimster]

I. I was in desperate need of a place to live. My. My first. At the end of my first year in la, and he. I had met him through. He was working on the show that the lady I was working for was on, and he had a North Carolina Chapel Hill shirt on. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm from North Carolina. As if we're, like, all supposed to be friends.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I came on a little strong, and I think he thought I had a crush on him. Did he? Yeah. So he was like, kind of. You know when you, like, think someone likes you and you don't like them, you don't want to, like, do anything to give them the wrong impression.

[May Martin]

I was. I said yes. But actually, I can't relate, because if anyone. If I think there's even a hint, I'm like, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

No matter who it is.

[May Martin]

Well, I. Maybe I just like the flirting. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I was gonna say attention. And then I.

[Fortune Feimster]

But he did. He did not want that attention from me. And I was desperate to make friends, so I was, like, coming on very Strong. I knew as a friend he thought romantically, and I was like, you want to be friends? And he's like, ugh. And. And so I knew him in that way.

[Tig Notaro]

But you weren't out yet, right?

[Fortune Feimster]

I wasn't out yet, no. But I knew I was not just, like. I knew I was not into him in that way, and. But I was desperate for friends because it was so hard to meet people out here. And then, like, six months into knowing him, that was back when there was the AOL chat rooms, you know?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And. And he put on his, like, away message that he needed a new roommate. And I was. And I needed. I desperately needed a place to live because I need a place to stay. I need a place to say. So I. I, like, wrote him like, I need a. I need a roommate or I need to move into somewhere. And he kind of was like, oh, okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, reluctant. And then I ended up being his roommate for, like, almost a decade.

[May Martin]

And the whole time you were trying.

[Fortune Feimster]

To get with him the whole time.

[May Martin]

Crawling into bed with him at night?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. So he.

[Tig Notaro]

You lived with him when you came out?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Was he shocked that you didn't want a piece of that?

[Fortune Feimster]

I honestly don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't know. He was shocked, but he wasn't also, like. It wasn't, like, on the nose for him.

[Tig Notaro]

And when you were living with him, were you flashing your sexy.

[Fortune Feimster]

My Texas.

[Tig Notaro]

My.

[Fortune Feimster]

Calves.

[May Martin]

Your sexy gams?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, he saw my gowns. He knew what I was working with.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

But immediately as I moved in, he. We. He knew. He saw right away there was no sexual anything ever.

[May Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

No chemistry. Nothing in that way at all. And it was like high fives immediately. And. Yeah, he's still one of my best friends. Oh. When he moved out of la, it was a sad, sad day.

[Tig Notaro]

Where'd he go? I miss him.

[Fortune Feimster]

He moved to Chicago first, and then he's in Atlanta. He has a family of three kids now. Wife, kids, all the things.

[Tig Notaro]

And is she jealous of you?

[May Martin]

Yeah. He's not allowed to talk to you anymore.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's jealous of me because I don't have kids. But he's great. He's a super great guy. But, yeah, so that was my. I had grown up with brothers, so I knew they were gross to live with. That's where I, you know, remembered living with Steve, that men somehow end up having their pubes everywhere. It just. It doesn't matter. They. Their pubes end up ev. Literally everywhere.

[Tig Notaro]

And that's what you were dealing with.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, guys. Whatever. Male. No, the. The ladies know, too, that are listening right now. Who live with a man in a test fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

You have to say.

[Fortune Feimster]

You have to end up everywhere.

[Tig Notaro]

You have to say that again and end it with, right, ladies?

[Fortune Feimster]

Right? Am I right, ladies? Pubes everywhere. It's. It's wild how they can just manage to float to many places.

[May Martin]

I'm equally bad. Not with pubes, but, like, I trim my hair a lot myself, and I've had roommates be like, there's tiny yellow hairs, like, all. Like, you can never quite clean them all up by the sink. And it's a real compulsion. I can't stop. Like last night when we were painting the bears, I went up to pee, and I just find myself holding the scissors, giving myself a haircut in the middle of hosting a party.

[Tig Notaro]

And so, wait, May. Is your hair not brown anymore?

[May Martin]

Oh, no, it is.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, it's brown, but it's still got a hint of blonde.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's like a.

[Tig Notaro]

Go to YouTube.

[May Martin]

Go to YouTube.

[Fortune Feimster]

I did find myself turning into a naggy wife living with a man.

[May Martin]

Oh, really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Which Jack deals with now with me. So it's all full circle.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, you nag Jax.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, she nags me.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was gonna say when I was living with. Because many of times, Steve and I had another roommate, so I would live with two boys. So I was always like, guys, can you please take out the trash? It's literally over the.

[May Martin]

You became that character.

[Fortune Feimster]

I became that woman.

[May Martin]

Can you please.

[Fortune Feimster]

Can you please, for the love of God, you're passing the mailbox. Can you just bring the mail in for once? Can you clean up your pubes?

[May Martin]

Did I tell you guys about the roommate? The guy Mike that I found on Craigslist to be my roommate? And he seemed like this quiet little nerd. He was younger than me, and I just desperately needed a roommate fast. This is not long ago. I was, like, 30 in London, and he moved in. And right away, I was like. He's like. He stayed in his room all the time. And then after about a week, he came home. I hear all the doorbells in the whole apartment building basically buzzing. And he's wasted, and he comes in and he's, like, slurring, and he starts being like, can I have a hug? I just met him, like, a week ago. And I was like, no, I'm good. And he goes, go stand in the corner. No, I'm fine. I was by myself. So I was like, oh, this is Bad. So, texting my friend, I start recording him, and he's going, like, do you ever, like, bone your groupies? And he's just being really gross and weird, and he keeps telling me to stand in the corner and hug him. So I went, I'm going to go to bed. And I lock the door and. And then I hear him. This is not a fun story, is it?

[Tig Notaro]

Anyway, well, it depends on where it goes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, we don't know where the ending, right.

[May Martin]

I hear him smashing around. Anyway, so the next day, I go out and I go, hey, Mike. Well, he stayed in his room for, like, 24 hours. Then he comes out, got really hungover, and I was like, hey, man, you were really creepy last night. He's like, okay, so what? Not apologetic. And I went, well, like, I feel like you gotta move out. Like, you were. I have a recording. Because in case you didn't remember, you kept telling me to stand in the corner and hug you, and you were talking about your dick, and it was weird. And he goes, okay, fine, I'll move out. I was like, okay. And then I said, well, I'll give you your deposit back. And he goes, I don't need your charity. And I was like, all right. Well. And then this is the mistake I made. I said, I'm going on tour, so if you can just. Just be out when I get back. I'll be back in two weeks. I leave, I come back from tour. He. It is destroyed. My house. Like, my TV's broken. There's bottles. There is poo smeared on the wall in the bathroom. There's pee and pubes everywhere. There's. Yeah, my. My TV broken and just, like, garbage that's been sitting in the sun in the apartment with no air conditioning. Like. Like it was. Yeah. And I never heard from him. I just changed the locks. I never saw him.

[Tig Notaro]

I bet you're gonna hear from him now.

[May Martin]

I hope he's listening.

[Fortune Feimster]

He's like, yeah. And.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, you just. He was just randomly from online or.

[May Martin]

He was like, 26 and seemed so. He was like. He was like five foot four and, like 100 pounds. Like this little, you know, tech guy. And he seemed like the least threatening guy ever. And then I think, yeah, he would have murdered me for sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

No, probably not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Series called and worst. Worst roommate ever.

[May Martin]

Worst roommate ever. No, he probably. He probably was just going through something.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I had many of Craigslist roommates. It is wild to just have a stranger move in.

[May Martin]

It's wild, right?

[Tig Notaro]

I haven't done that.

[Fortune Feimster]

It Was very popular at one point.

[May Martin]

Yeah. I had. I lived with a woman called Joanne who. And. And then I was the sketchy Craigslist roommate because I was like a sketchy teen and I lied about my age and I moved in. I knew I didn't have enough rent really. And. But she was a nice lady and she was maybe in her 50s and she, when I would leave, she would the house, she'd go, oh, you forgot something. And I'd be like, what? And she'd say, you haven't said goodbye to Elvis. And I had to say goodbye to the. I had to say goodbye to the cat every time I left.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I thought she was going to say your rent.

[May Martin]

Oh, yeah, you forgot something. Just to pay me any rent.

[Fortune Feimster]

And also, can you pay me my rent?

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, I never answered Molly's question. To answer. Oh, right, right. To answer Molly's question, I'm not an Irish goodbye or Exeter because I feel too guilty. I feel like I need to properly say thank you to the host to tell my friends I'm. I'm leaving. That's why it's always a 45 minute process to me. But we've mentioned her on this podcast before taking. I have a mutual friend named Allison Dunbar. She is the queen of Irish Exeters. And I didn't even know that term until her. And she would famously, at every party, just disappear. And I think once people expect it of you, no one gives the crap.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You said yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Also, Allison Dunbar can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right.

[Tig Notaro]

There's nobody funny or cooler or smarter, and you just. Allison Dunbar does anything she wants.

[Fortune Feimster]

Whatever she wants.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God. Imagine being that person. Yeah, that sounds.

[Fortune Feimster]

She didn't give a she. If you were to be like, hey, I'm offended that you left without saying goodbye, she'd laugh in your face and you'd be like, all right, let's hear what Molly has to say.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Molly Shannon]

And now my answer. I did an outfit change for the answer, so I prefer an Irish exit. I once had to go to a cast wrap party that I didn't really want to go to because it was at a club downtown and it was really loud. But I. I felt like I should go. So I went in and there was like a dance circle and I made a big scene so that everybody could see me and there was like a dance off and I did a big, like, number in the middle of the circle of people who were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I zipped out and I was only there for probably 15 minutes at the party. And I got into my car and I was like, oh, I was so excited. And everybody thought the next day that I had stayed really late because they. They all saw me. I made a big, you know, to do, but then sneaked out.

[May Martin]

It was.

[Molly Shannon]

It was my perfect Irish exit.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's amazing.

[Tig Notaro]

I just said, yeah. Like, she was talking to me directly.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But that would seem like you were really there partying if you've made such a huge scene like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, that's a good thing to do. That's a good plan if you don't want to go somewhere for a long time to, like, make your presence known pretty hardcore, and then just dip out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

If you're going to commit a murder, that's a good thing, too, for your alibi.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, you go to a party, didn't think about that.

[May Martin]

You're really present at the party, and then everyone's going to think you were there.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, Yeah.

[May Martin]

I would love to be at a party.

[Tig Notaro]

Why did your brain go to that?

[May Martin]

Oh, sorry.

[Fortune Feimster]

What an alibi.

[Tig Notaro]

I was breakdancing in the kitchen. I couldn't have done it.

[May Martin]

Didn't you see me there? I was there. I really would love to be at a party where Molly Shannon instigates a dance circle and does a huge number. I would just be levitating with joy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah. She is one of those people that you could watch her do anything and you'd be cracking up. Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

She's a silly, silly person.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, let's have a party at some point and invite her.

[May Martin]

Put it on the list, Tom.

[Fortune Feimster]

List?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, just the four of us. Invite Molly Shannon over.

[Fortune Feimster]

Seriously, she's like, why is no one else here?

[May Martin]

Well, we know she doesn't like loud clubs, so maybe she'd like a quiet evening with four.

[Tig Notaro]

A quiet evening with Molly with a.

[Fortune Feimster]

Grain bowl and triple dippers.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. And what was my food? I like shrimp dumplings, but I'm embarrassed about it.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's all right. Don't be embarrassed.

[Tig Notaro]

Be proud. Be out and proud about.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, what an episode.

[May Martin]

I hope everybody votes today, please.

[Tig Notaro]

And tell your family, tell your neighbors.

[Fortune Feimster]

Your neighbor, Nana, share your same political.

[May Martin]

Views, then don't remind them.

[Fortune Feimster]

Tell. Very important. It is our basic civic duty.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

And many people thought for us to be able to vote. So go vote.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune speaking the truth.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right. If you want merch, go to handsomepod.com because we have some great merch. Hoodie. Keep it Handsome hoodie. A yago shirt. It's never too late to wear that because everyone has ghosts in their house and you want to give them a shout out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, and it's also never too late to order my album hello again. Get [e-mail] I can still be seen very regularly at Comedy Bar in Toronto. I'm working out new material and some nights it's real off the rails and loosey goosey and but the crowds have been so fun and nice and I've really been enjoying it.

[May Martin]

I am finally. Well when this comes out I will be finally back in la. I'm finally doing the loosey goosey new material stuff. I'm at Largo Dec. 15 and Dec. 4 at Largo. So there's going to be really good special guests and stand up and improv and music and stuff.

[Tig Notaro]

And until next time, there you go.

[May Martin]

Let's Keep It Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at Handsomepod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast. Podcast.

[Molly Shannon]

What a podcast.

[May Martin]

That was a headgum podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Handsome's the audio version of my comedy special hello Again is available everywhere. Just in time for the holidays. Go to tig notaro.com to get a copy for you and a loved one now.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hey Handsomes, we know that price is at the top of the list when you're looking for home insurance. That's why you should get a quote from Allstate. They've got great policies and great rates, plus they make it easy to save on your policy.

[Tig Notaro]

Check Allstate first and you could save $574 on your home insurance. No hassle, just savings. You're in good hands with Hall State.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not available in every state. Based on the national average annual savings for new home insurance customers surveyed in 2023 who switched to Allstate and reported savings savings vary with the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's. You pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money.

[May Martin]

Price and participation may vary for a limited time only.