Pretty Little Episode #30

Summary

Handsome Podcast: "Pretty Little Episode #30" Summary

Released on March 14, 2025

Hosts: Mae Martin, Fortune Feimster

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1. Introduction and Personal Chit-Chat (00:39 – 02:37)

The episode begins with Mae Martin and Fortune Feimster welcoming listeners to the "Pretty Little Episode." The hosts engage in their signature playful banter, reminiscing about trends like "bedazzle" and "vagazzle."

Key Highlights:

• Mae Martin (02:01): "I'm scared, of course. Yeah. I've got a big gate, but it is scary being alone in a house. For sure."

  Mae shares her experiences moving into a new house, highlighting the excitement and the underlying fear of being alone in a larger space. She discusses unpacking long-neglected boxes and the joy of rediscovering personal items like clay sculptures.

• Fortune Feimster (03:07): "I find in the beginning, like, when I built my first house, that it's so exciting because you're like, this is mine. It's my space. It's permanent. I mean, as permanent as you end up making it."

  Fortune reflects on her first home-building experience, emphasizing the thrill of creating a personal sanctuary and the pressure to complete it swiftly. She advises taking time to live in the space before fully decorating.

2. New House Adventures and Houseplants (02:37 – 07:20)

Mae delves into her journey of settling into her new home, sharing her first-time experience with real houseplants. She humorously recounts her initial attempts to communicate with her plants, inspired by social media trends.

Notable Quote:

• Mae Martin (05:08): "This company over communicated so much... And then I thought, imagine if I was the plant. I'd be like, they want us to tell them what we need. Like, we can't speak. What do you mean? Just water."

Fortune shares stories about wildlife around her previous homes, particularly problematic crows. Mae contrasts these with lighter anecdotes, including meeting a local possum neighbor and observing animal behaviors influenced by external factors.

3. Sharing Personal Stories about Wildlife (07:20 – 09:03)

The conversation shifts to memorable wildlife encounters and the humorous yet dark sides of animal interactions.

Highlights:

• Fortune Feimster (07:07): "Like, the death. Dead crows on the reg in this thing."

  Fortune recounts witnessing aggressive crow behavior around a family fountain, illustrating the unexpected challenges of cohabiting with urban wildlife.

• Mae Martin (08:01): "There was this guy who fed budgies turkey, and they became really aggressive and animalistic. It was really dark."

  Mae shares a disturbing story from her past about a friend's budgies turning aggressive due to inappropriate feeding, highlighting unintended consequences of well-meaning actions.

4. Listener Questions and Discussions (09:03 – 22:39)

The heart of the episode revolves around answering listener-submitted questions, fostering deep and relatable conversations.

a. Chelsea's Question: Childhood Beliefs (09:06 – 17:00)

Question: "With the exception of stories that get told around the holidays, what is something that you were told as a kid that you believed to be true that ended up not being true, but you believed it for an embarrassingly long time?"

Discussion Points:

• Mae Martin (09:36): Explores the misconceptions about true love perpetuated by romantic comedies, emphasizing that real relationships require daily choices and effort beyond mere chemistry.

  Quote (10:06): "Relationships are also. It's a choice. It's like, you know, it's making that decision every day and, like, putting work into it."

• Fortune Feimster (11:03): Reflects on her skepticism towards parental myths like Santa Claus and the absence of discussions about the human body, sharing her own humorous misunderstandings.

  Quote (15:31): "Oh my God. Why isn't Tig here? So."

• Listener Contribution (17:02): Chelsea shares her belief that spinning too long in a revolving door could lead to suffocation, a misconception she held until her early twenties.

b. Christella's Question: Favorite Names (18:30 – 22:39)

Question: "Is there a name that you've always liked? Maybe you thought you would change your name to that someday or you would have a child name that someday. And why do you like it?"

Discussion Points:

• Mae Martin (18:51): Expresses her fondness for the name "Bugs" or "Buster," inspired by Bugs Bunny and Buster Keaton, highlighting her playful and whimsical side.

  Quote (19:06): "I've always thought I would like to name my son Bugs or Buster Bugs."

• Fortune Feimster (19:38): Shares her preferred name "Fortune," discussing its familial significance and her personal attachment to it.

  Quote (20:41): "My favorite name is Fortune. I... My grandmother was very proud of the Fortune name."

• Mae Martin (21:02): Talks about the importance of alliteration in names, revealing her own name origin tied to her mother's maiden name.

  Quote (21:13): "I think was like, I want one of the kids to have my name. And then... in the end, the alliteration says May Martin."

• Christella's Insight (22:00): Shares her preference for old-timey names like "Tabitha," inspired by pop culture references, though she chose not to adopt it for her child.

  Quote (22:00): "I always liked the name Tabitha... I've since had a daughter that is not her name."

5. Closing Remarks and Future Plans (22:39 – 26:06)

Mae and Fortune conclude the episode by discussing upcoming shows and tours. They express excitement about performing in iconic venues like the Ryman Auditorium and share humorous anecdotes about what might be left in their green rooms.

Highlights:

• Fortune Feimster (24:07): Describes the unique items found in concert green rooms, blending curiosity with humor.

  Quote (24:21): "I would be mortified if I found out that was in a museum."

• Mae Martin (25:02): Encourages listeners to engage with their content online, promoting her music tours and collaborations.

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Conclusion: "Pretty Little Episode #30" of the Handsome podcast offers a blend of personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and thoughtful discussions on childhood beliefs and name preferences. Mae Martin and Fortune Feimster's chemistry shines as they navigate through relatable topics, providing both laughter and insightful reflections for their audience.

Transcript

[Mae Martin]

This is a Headgun podcast. This is a Headgun podcast. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, you know, to check that the gate is closed and latched at the dog park before letting your precious pup run free.

[Tig Notaro]

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state fire and casualty insurance company and affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois.

[Mae Martin]

Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

Pretty little episode.

[Mae Martin]

Hello and welcome to a pretty little episode. I'm Mae Martin, joined by. By the bedazzling Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fortune Feinster. I'm bedazzled.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Why did I say I should have just said dazzled? Because bedazzled means you've actually stuck gems to you. Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Which could happen, I don't know, maybe jeans right now that are full of rhinestones.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, that was such a thing for a while. And vagazzle.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, that's for your vajayjay.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

The ladies would put little, I don't know, stars or things around.

[Mae Martin]

That was one of those things that was like every standup comedian had a bedazzled punchline or something. Yeah, right.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've never seen them in person on anyone.

[Mae Martin]

No. But. And I want to maybe make a comeback. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

This seems like hot glue.

[Mae Martin]

I know. Like, are they super fun? Like, how do you. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Gotta be a hot glue.

[Mae Martin]

A hot glue. Have you ever done any, like, candle wax, sexual things or.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, God, no.

[Mae Martin]

Okay.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm assuming that means you have.

[Mae Martin]

I have, but I've done with regular candles and then I've done with candles specifically for that where they're like the oil.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like an oil or something.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Like it doesn't get too hot or something. But yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

How did the regular candle work out?

[Mae Martin]

Better? Actually, there's something that. The. The specific candles, it's like. Because it. It's not really painful. It's just like an annoying feeling. Like, it's like almost painful. And it just makes you want to slap the person because you're just like, ah, stop.

[Fortune Feimster]

And what do you do? You're just pouring wax on, know, you.

[Mae Martin]

Tie someone up, you're dripping wax on them. I don't know. Or vice versa.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow. We have very different situations.

[Mae Martin]

I mean, you know, I'll try anything.

[Fortune Feimster]

But you know what? Why not?

[Mae Martin]

Why not?

[Fortune Feimster]

I like that you explore. I think it's great.

[Mae Martin]

Thank you. And as you can see, My love life is very happy, and I'm very fulfilled. Jk, jk.

[Fortune Feimster]

What I do see is you in a. It looks like you're in a new space.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I'm in my new house. And, yeah, it's really still coming together. I'm like, weirdly, because they're building. I'm, like, crouched on the ground here.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I was worried about you getting your leg falling asleep or something.

[Mae Martin]

It did. It did. And I powered through.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are you enjoying this new space?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I'm, like, unpacking boxes that have actually been in boxes for years that I never unpacked at previous places. And I'm finding. I'm finding, like, things that I guess two years ago, I was like, this is so important. And it's like a little clay sculpture that I did of a man. I don't know. It's nice to have my personality around me, you know, and be more settled, but it's all covered in, like, dust and sheets right now. And. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I find in the beginning, like, when I built my first house, that it's so exciting because you're like, this is mine. It's my space. It's permanent. I mean, as permanent as you end up making it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But as far as, like, you're not renting, you can do whatever you want to the walls or whatnot. But there is this pressure you feel to just get it all done.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

In one go. And just know that you don't have to have your entire house fixed or decorated. It can be a year before it's all done.

[Mae Martin]

That's so true. I'm like, I'm. I'm too pumped envisioning, like, dinner parties and stuff. So I'm trying to get everything done, but you're right. Sometimes you have to live in it first and see what you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Because it will change what you want to do.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And. And you can go room by room. I always say, start with the den and the bed and your bedroom.

[Mae Martin]

Yes. Yeah. Well, I bought house plants for the first time ever. Like, real. Real ones.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

And they came. I found this company online, and they came. Like, I ordered four plants, and they're gonna get delivered already potted and everything.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[Mae Martin]

This company over communicated so much. I had texts, I had emails, I had, like, yeah. Just being like, well, I'm in traffic, but I'll probably be there in 45. I'm like, okay. And then. Well, so have you ever had plants before?

[Fortune Feimster]

You go to Home Depot and buy some plants?

[Mae Martin]

I should have, but also now I'm Really? Like, you know, on Instagram, I see a lot about how you got to talk to plants, and they're magical, and they respond to love. So I've been like. Like, the first night with these plants, I was like, guys, you know, I know it's probably been stressful to get here, but, like, we're gonna have a really good year doing it. And then I said out loud, I was like, I want. I'm gonna take really good care of you. Just, like, tell me what you need, and, like, we'll take care of each other. And then I thought, imagine if I was the plant. I'd be like, they want us to tell them what we need. Like, we can't speak. What do you mean? Just water.

[Fortune Feimster]

And so I'm dying.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And they're like, wait, you want us to take care of how? Like.

[Fortune Feimster]

So are you scared at all there by yourself or. It feels pretty comfy, cozy.

[Mae Martin]

I'm scared, of course. Yeah. I've got a big gate, but it is scary being alone in a house. For sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And I hear little noises and things and. Yeah. But there's a possum that I saw that lives around me, and it was nice to meet him, and I hope I made a good impression, because I think he'd be a good ally.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Do you have any wildlife living around you that you do you ever feed birds or anything?

[Fortune Feimster]

I sure don't.

[Mae Martin]

Well, you got Biggie. You don't need the possum to be on your side.

[Fortune Feimster]

Big, like, crows around. They're a nuisance. You think you want to put out a bird thing, but it would attract those birds, and they're a real pain in the ass.

[Mae Martin]

Really? Well, just because they're loud and aggressive.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

At my old house, we had a large fountain in the front yard, and they would, like, murder each other in this fountain.

[Mae Martin]

Seriously. Like, to the death.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, the death.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dead crows on the reg in this thing. And we're like, what's happening? There's enough water for all of you.

[Mae Martin]

That's so dark.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. But in the south, though, my grandmother had, like, a bird bath or bird feeder, and you would get these really beautiful little birds, and it's just all crows.

[Mae Martin]

I. I knew a guy who was. This is in my teens, and this guy was, like, a pretty big cokehead, and he had. He had pet budgies, and he was so kind of. I don't know. Cocaine, I think, warps your moral compass. It makes you a little sinister sometimes. If you do enough of it. And he fed these budgies turkey. He kept feeding them meat of other birds. And they became like, they got a taste for it and they became really aggressive and animalistic and oh, my God, it was really, it was really dark.

[Fortune Feimster]

The things coke will do. I know the trickle down effect.

[Mae Martin]

And then one night, one morning, I found him fully clothed in the bathtub. No water in the bath. And I said, what are you doing in the bath? And he went, didn't you put me in the bath? That was pretty funny. You're like dark times.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dark, dark times.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But guess what? You're in, you're in happy times. You're starting anew and I love it for you.

[Mae Martin]

Thank you. I feel that. Yeah. There's a lot of sunlight in the house and I'm excited to have people over to paint animals and hang out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Put your friends to work.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, exactly. No, no, just to paint whimsical paintings of animals.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I thought you meant to paint a wall. That's how we paint my bedroom.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Which I have had friends do. They're like, I'll make dinner and provide booze if you can help me, like paint my fence or something. I like that.

[Mae Martin]

That gives me you a sense of community.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

I won't do that to you. Don't worry.

[Fortune Feimster]

All right. I'll just come for the food.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Hang out.

[Fortune Feimster]

Let's get to some questions.

[Mae Martin]

Let's do it.

[Chelsea]

Hi, ansomes. My name is Chelsea. I'm a pretty little lady from Winnipeg in Canada. Big fan of the podcast Shout out to May. I've been a fan of yours for a while. You're the reason I started listening to the podcast. So thank you so much. My question to you is, with the exception of stories that get told around the holidays, what is something that you were told as a kid that you believed to be true that ended up not being true, but you believed it for an embarrassingly long time?

[Mae Martin]

Oh, man. True love. I mean, I, I, I think we were all sold a kind of lie about romance and love Romcoms, dude.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Mae Martin]

Because we always see these, like, sort.

[Fortune Feimster]

Of toxic, like a guy stalking a girl or something.

[Mae Martin]

Like, yeah, you've got male is so toxic. And like Romeo and Juliet. And we, we thought that that's what love was.

[Fortune Feimster]

These big passion, Right?

[Mae Martin]

Yes. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But actually I do think it tainted people in that, that you, if your relationship isn't full of that kind of passion, you think it's bad or wrong.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I'm like, no, actually it's pretty, pretty Normal not to have that level of passion because that passion leads to other, like you said, toxic things.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And also, it puts so much emphasis on just connection and chemistry, which is like, that's great. But relationships are also. It's a choice. It's like, you know, it's making that decision every day and, like, putting work into it. And they. There's never a movie about that, about the day to day.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, the actual work it takes.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because it's all. It's all romanticized. You're seeing the best versions of people falling in love. Not like, hey, we got bills to pay.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Or tired.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, yeah, we're tired. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

What about.

[Mae Martin]

I. My mom told me that. And we. They told me everything. Like, they didn't. They never let me believe in Santa. Like, they told me, no, they said, that's a lie. And they said, there's no God. Like, they were really, like, wildly. Like, I was really jaded as a kid, but they.

[Fortune Feimster]

You don't seem jaded to me now.

[Mae Martin]

Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, no, you said you were jaded when you were young. So when do you think that that evolves into not being jaded?

[Mae Martin]

It was more like I had too much information at a young age, I think. Like, I. I knew too much about, like, the adult world and. But I remember still wanting to believe in Santa and being like, no, I still want to leave cookies out for him. And my parents being like, but, you know, it's just us. We're just gonna eat the cookies. And I was like, let me live.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's fine.

[Mae Martin]

That's fine. Let me write the letter.

[Fortune Feimster]

We have some magic.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. What about you? Were you, like, a whimsical child that believed in, like, magical things and creatures and.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I believed in Santa, but I was always trying to get to the bottom of how much Santa paid for things.

[Mae Martin]

Right. The logistics.

[Fortune Feimster]

I always was trying to, like, look for price tags on, and I'd be like, there's a price tag on this?

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And it's.

[Fortune Feimster]

So my mom would be like, get off my back. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, you know, to check that your time travel machine is fully charged before traveling back to your high school prom in order to make sure your best friend Sarah falls in love with you.

[Mae Martin]

Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Tig Notaro]

When it comes to food and so many other things, it's hard to know what's actually good for our kids. That's why I love Thrive Market. It's like having a personal guide to healthier living for my entire family. Now food is one area where I feel like I got it covered. Thrive Market makes it simple to find trusted, family friendly brands without spending hours in the grocery store. From snacks and school lunches to pantry staples, everything they offer is 100% non GMO. I know what my kids like to eat, so it's easy to create a filter for those foods and make shopping for them a breeze.

[Mae Martin]

Plus, Thrive Market's smart cart feature takes the guesswork out of healthy shopping. When you create an account, they ask about your family's needs and automatically build a cart full of cleaner versions of your favorite brands. I've been loving Banza's Chickpea Spaghetti Pasta, for example.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ready for a junk free start to 2025, head to thrivemarket.com handsome and get 30 off your first order plus a free sixty dollar gift. That's T H R-I-V E market.com handsome thrivemarket.com handsome so yeah, I was like, wanted the magic, but also wanted to know like the logic of it.

[Mae Martin]

Right.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, so I had both sides.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But I did love looking in the sky and trying to see Santa and whatnot. Yeah, but I, I, I believed in that stuff to the proper age. And then at whenever that ages that you're like, okay, I, the only thing I can think of, there's nothing that's coming to my brain as far as like, beliefs. Um, my mom, we weren't very forward when in talking about like the human body or sex or anything like that. Like, we just didn't talk about it. My mom would call, this is so embarrassing. My mom would call a vagina a boom boom.

[Mae Martin]

Oh my God, why isn't Tig here? So.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just called it a boom boom for like so long, like, like into high school. And I think maybe, maybe till like late junior high.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I said it in front of my friend's mom, like, and she, and my friend's mom was like, what? And I go, you know, you're bim bim.

[Mae Martin]

Oh my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

And they, my friends started dying laughing and I'm like, what? That's what it's called.

[Mae Martin]

You got your boom boom and your bum bum.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was, oh my God.

[Mae Martin]

Well, let's face it, like, vagina is not a great word.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's not a great word.

[Mae Martin]

It's not fun to say. Boom boom is pretty badass. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

So that was highly embarrassing when they realized I did not know the medical term vagina. I only boom boom.

[Mae Martin]

So she would be like, did you wash your boom boom?

[Fortune Feimster]

Or like, yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, I. I fell right on my boom boom.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God, I love that. What did she call a penis?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't recall. Yeah, I guess.

[Mae Martin]

Ask your brother. I bet there was something weird, like a. Like a dong. Don dong.

[Fortune Feimster]

So, yeah, that was very embarrassing. So thanks for the memory.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. My mom told me that she was Pippi Longstocking and that the books were based on her because she had red hair. And it used to infuriate me because on. On some level, I knew it wasn't true, but there was a slight possibility it was, and it would just drive me insane. I'd be like, no, you're not. She'd be like, I am. Well, thanks for that question. Wait, I want to hear this answer from.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, from Chelsea.

[Chelsea]

So one time, I was with my dad and my brother, and we were at a local golf center, and to enter this building, there was a revolving door. And we were on our way out. My dad was paying, I think, for the time we had been playing mini golf or something, and my brother and I were just kids and being bratty, and we were running around through the revolving door, and my dad told us to quit it. And when I asked why, he sort of said, it's because you could suffocate in there. So I believed until well into my, I think, early 20s that if you spent too much time in a revolving door or if you went through it too slowly, that you would, in fact, suffocate due to lack of oxygen. And when I finally learned that that wasn't true, not only was I so embarrassed, but I was shocked at how long I went thinking that that could be true.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, that's really good.

[Fortune Feimster]

It worked, though. Probably didn't spend too much time in one of those revolving doors.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. And I guess if you spent tons, like, maybe you could one day suffocate if you spent, like, a month.

[Fortune Feimster]

But, you know, when you're a parent and you just don't want your kid to do something, you throw that stuff out. Like, hey, you don't. You know.

[Mae Martin]

Do you remember that? Like an urban myth about somebody flushing the toilet on an airplane while sitting.

[Fortune Feimster]

Down out of it, it would suck.

[Mae Martin]

Your guts out your bum.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I heard that one.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I still kind of still get weird about Flushing.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Ye in an airplane.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Should we hear another one?

[Christella]

Hi, Anson Pod. This is Christella from Austin, Texas. May Tig Fortune. Love you guys. Is a trio. And love you guys individually. Here is my question. Is there a name that you've always liked? Maybe you thought you would change your name to that Someday or you would have a child name that Someday. And why do you like it?

[Mae Martin]

Great question.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's great.

[Mae Martin]

That's great. I would love to. I've always thought I would like to name my son Bugs or Buster Bugs. Yeah. Buster. After Buster Keaton.

[Fortune Feimster]

I like Buster.

[Mae Martin]

You do? And how do you feel about Bugs?

[Fortune Feimster]

Bugs is. I mean, listen, teach their own. It's a little more out there.

[Mae Martin]

Like Bugs Bunny. Like. Yeah, Bugs Bunny always comes out on top.

[Fortune Feimster]

Bugs to me, seems like a pet name. And that could be because of Bugs Bunny. Yeah, Buster. I can see being a little kid.

[Mae Martin]

Bugs could be the nickname of Buster. I also really like the idea of Benny for a girl. Like Benny and the Jets.

[Fortune Feimster]

I've never wanted kids, so I've never spent too much time thinking about what my invisible kids names were.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. What about if you were trans? What would you want your boy name to be?

[Fortune Feimster]

I feel like sometimes you take whatever your name is and make it the masculine version of it.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know what Fortune like, would equate to Frank.

[Mae Martin]

Frank.

[Fortune Feimster]

I definitely wouldn't want Frank. You wouldn't?

[Mae Martin]

Frank Feimster is pretty good.

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. I do like the alliteration.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, Alliteration's key. Like, I'd have to be Bort.

[Fortune Feimster]

Fort Ford. Just be called Fort Fert. Fortford. Fortford.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

What other Fred gonna be a boy? My mom was gonna name me Alex Alexander.

[Mae Martin]

That's nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Call me Alex for short. I went. That would have been fine.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

My favorite name is Fortune. I. I've told this before, but I grew up going by my. My first name. Emily.

[Mae Martin]

Yes.

[Fortune Feimster]

And Fortune's my middle name and an old family name. And very much. My grandmother was very proud of the Fortune name. It was her mother's maiden name, and there was a bunch of Fortunes in her family. So she really wanted me to be named Fortune. But I also genuinely like the name Fortune.

[Mae Martin]

It's incredible. Yeah. Unfortunate. Feimster. Like, you gotta be famous with that name.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's right. Who wants to see Emily Feimster do comedy? No way.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah. Emily Feemstreet. Actually, truly. I'm changing the channel. I took my mom's maiden name, or she gave it to me. My brother got my dad's and then my mom just does like a feminist thing. I think was like, I want one of the kids to have my name. And then. And then like the alliteration says May Martin.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, you have it too.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, yeah, I like it. Should we hear Christelle is.

[Christella]

I always liked the name Tabitha. I thought I would have a child name that someday or maybe change my name to that because that was the name of Samantha's daughter on Bewitched. And I've since had a daughter that is not her name. And I have no desire to change my name to that. But that's okay. Thanks for all the laughs, guys and see you in Austin in April.

[Mae Martin]

So Christela's just totally gone off her own idea there. She's like, I always wanted to do this and now I haven't done it and I don't want to. But Tabitha's cool. I think those are coming back in style. Sort of old timey names like your Agatha's, your Tabitha's.

[Fortune Feimster]

Agatha's and Tabitha's are really making a comeback.

[Mae Martin]

Eleanor.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, my grandma's name was Evelyn.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, Evelyn's a great name.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I like the unique names like the ones you don't hear often.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, me too. So Bugs. It is.

[Fortune Feimster]

So it's Bugs.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm so glad she's coming to that show in Austin that's gonna. That shows like almost 3,000 people.

[Mae Martin]

It's gonna feel pretty electric, I think.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then the Ryman is a huge theater too. But it's such an iconic theater. Yeah, you talk about being a musician when you go through. Have you ever been to the Ryman? Never go a little bit early and just walk through the halls and go into the rooms. There's all these really cool posters. You see the history of the place and all the musicians who play there. It's pretty special.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah, I love that kind of thing. I like feeling, I feel like theaters especially not to get all like woo, woo. But I feel like they have like an energetic echo of all these audiences that have been there over the years and all this like all these good vibes. I don't know. Yeah, I love an empty theater and like. Yeah. Being in that space like that also I went. There's this weird museum in London that has like, like curiosities and like odds and ends and they have all this stuff that I guess cleaners at different concert venues have taken from green rooms after bands have been there and they have. Yeah. And they have used condom from the Rolling Stones and they have the poo of Kylie Minogue.

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Mae Martin]

In a jar.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why do they have that?

[Mae Martin]

I don't know. It must have been unflushed, which I'm like, really? Kylie would flush.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think this is Kylie, like a flush.

[Mae Martin]

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, was this just an immersive art thing?

[Fortune Feimster]

It's gotta be.

[Mae Martin]

But it felt real.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would be mortified if I found out that was in a museum.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, my God. I'd go sign it. But, yeah, that would be humiliating. What would they find in our green room after we left? It'd be so tame.

[Fortune Feimster]

It'd be like our last green room in Toronto had a little charcuterie board, which. I always ask for those because I love them.

[Mae Martin]

Yes. And it had so many pizza. And we had those bonnets that someone in the audience gave us.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm so stoked. It's so fun to go to these live shows because people have such a great energy, but to get to bring them to other places, other states. Very exciting.

[Mae Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, awesome. Well, keep sending in your [e-mail], handsome. If you have anything you want to know, ask us. But also, we're here to give advice as well. Don't shy away from that.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, that would be cool. Relationship advice or you got a problem at work, or we can't promise.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's great advice, but we'll give it.

[Mae Martin]

You can check out maymartinmusic.com to see if I've got any. Any tour dates. I'm in. I'm in la, Toronto, New York and London playing my album. And then also I'm always at Largo in LA doing new stuff. And. Yeah, what about you, Fortune?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I'm at the Irvine, California Comedy Club working on my material, as well as the club in Huntsville, Alabama. And then my tour starts in Savannah, Georgia, Charleston, South Carolina, Albuquerque, Phoenix, Rockford, Illinois, Greensboro, North Carolina, and Roanoke, Virginia.

[Mae Martin]

Oh, I guess until next time, all that remains is keep it pretty, pretty.

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email [e-mail] and follow us on social media at Handsomepod. What a podcast.

[Mae Martin]

What a podcast. That was a headgum podcast. That was a headgum podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

[Mae Martin]

Like, you know, to check that your stained glass window is properly installed and sealed at your new house to stop rodents and spiders from gaining entry to your property.

[Fortune Feimster]

Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state fire and casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.