Pretty Little Episode #63

Summary

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Handsome Podcast: "Pretty Little Episode #63"

Date: October 31, 2025
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Mae Martin
Summary prepared by Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

In this "Pretty Little Episode," comedians Tig Notaro and Mae Martin (Fortune Feimster absent) bring their signature warmth and wit to two listener questions: navigating queer identity in middle school and the dynamics of laughter with close friends. The episode is full of personal stories, playful banter, and reflections on authenticity, relationships, and the joys of everyday "normality."

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Banter and Updates: Embracing the "Normal" Life

• The episode opens with Mae and Tig catching up, sharing recent amusing and relatable anecdotes. Tig describes being greeted as "handsome" by a flight attendant and the confusion and amusement that followed ([00:55]).
  • Mae: “That moment when you get on the plane… if there's someone you know, and you're starting like a seven hour flight, and every time I get up to pee, am I going to have to be like, 'How’s your flight going?'” ([02:04])
• Tig shares her newfound joy in domestic routines and “being normal,” with a self-penned song:
  • Tig: “I'm a normal person doing normal things in my normal life because I'm normal.” ([03:17])
• Both discuss the challenge of maintaining work-life balance in entertainment, with Mae noting the pressure to always be productive post-project release ([04:38]).

2. On Sleep, Childhood, and Parental Wake-Ups

• Mae jokes about struggling with mornings and imagines being tucked in by her co-hosts ([07:07]).
• The conversation segues into childhood memories of being woken up, including a darkly comic moment:
  • Tig: “I was scared one night, and I went and woke up my stepfather… and he popped up and punched me in the stomach.” ([08:00])
    • Mae: “No. Yes. Tig.”
    • (Tig quickly clarifies it was accidental and not a traumatic injury)

3. Listener Question #1: Advice for Queer Middle Schoolers

Question from Noah, Charlottesville, VA:
"Is there anything you would tell your younger self about being queer in middle school or any advice you could give to me and my friends who are queer and are trying to navigate middle school?" ([10:45])

• Mae: Emphasizes not letting sexuality become the defining, all-consuming trait in one's life, despite outside pressures or the need to defend one’s identity.
  • Quote: "Your sexuality is just one small fraction of who you are... nurture all the other parts of you." ([11:17])
  • "Life is long and... stay loose, stay fluid." ([12:22])
• Tig: Agrees and calls authenticity a superpower, encouraging young listeners to follow their gut and value themselves for who they are.
  • Quote: “Who you are is really a superpower. Exactly who you are.” ([12:39])
  • Tig adds she didn’t identify as gay until her early twenties, reinforcing that everyone’s timeline is okay.
• Both stress that authenticity and embracing your individuality are key, and recall how in comedy, being specific and true to yourself is celebrated ([13:48]).

4. Listener Question #2: Who Makes You Laugh the Most?

Question from Casey, Salem, MA:
"Who is your favorite person or people to laugh with and why?" ([15:51])

• Tig: Her wife, Stephanie, tops the list:
  • Tig: "...a painful degree of crying, laughing, and I'm so thankful." ([16:21])
  • Also values the deep history and laughter she shares with childhood friends.
• Mae: Cherishes her best friends from her teen years—no matter what drama or hardship, their laughter together is “teen hysteria” level.
  • Quote: “All three of us are a mess [but] makes us laugh so hard.” ([17:05])
• They discuss how shared history creates “rich lore” in friendships and the importance of laughter in relationships.
  • Tig: “I need that in a relationship. I need a deep, deep laugh with somebody.” ([19:17])
• They briefly touch on friendships that have changed over time but remain sources of cherished comedic memories.
• Mae names comedian Lisa Gilroy for her ability to create sustained, silly laughter through improvised scenes ([17:49]).

Listener Casey’s Answer:
Casey enjoys laughing with their siblings, citing the comfort and relaxation that come with family ([19:49]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tig, on making choices:
  “I realized, oh, I have control and I can…decide what I’m gonna do for work, how much I’m gonna work and how much I’m gonna be home. And it just, it feels really good and I hope I can maintain this.” ([03:59])
• Mae, on being queer:
  “Don't let it stress you out and just know that it can be dynamic and change and be fluid and life is long…” ([12:22])
• Tig, on the value of difference:
  “You don’t want everyone the same. It’s so boring. It’s so boring.” ([15:00])
• Mae, on friendship:
  “All the magic is in the weirdness.” ([15:05])
• Tig’s surreal childhood anecdote:
  “He popped up and punched me in the stomach…He didn’t mean to. He was, like, totally asleep.” ([08:00])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Handsome greeting & “normal life” talk – 00:55–04:38
• Childhood wake-up stories & accidental punch anecdote – 07:07–09:29
• Listener Question 1 (Advice for queer middle schoolers) – 10:45–15:37
• Listener Question 2 (Who do you laugh with?) – 15:51–19:46
• Reflecting on the importance of shared laughter in relationships – 17:05–19:17

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Tone and Language

The tone throughout is warm, playful, self-aware, and inclusive, with the hosts often poking fun at themselves and each other. Vulnerability about career, identity, and childhood is balanced with the levity of silly songs and “teen hysteria” giggles.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Handsome is a celebration of everyday joys, the weirdness and magic of friendship, and the strength found in being your authentic self. Whether sharing scars from their own paths or riffing on wake-up rituals and river tubing, Tig and Mae create a space where laughter and honesty prevail.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

This is a headgum podcast. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Pretty little episode.

[B]

Hello. It is your dear friend Tig Notaro coming straight at you from the Handsome Pod. Pretty little episode. I'm sitting here with my co host.

[A]

Oh, my God, this is perfect. Yeah. Mae Martin.

[B]

Are you okay?

[A]

Yeah. You know what it was? I was gonna go into an Ira Glass impersonation, and then I realized that that was a reference to a previous episode and wouldn't. Wouldn't work.

[B]

So nothing on the show makes sense. So why.

[A]

Why start now? Trying to make sense.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'm Mae Martin, though, and I'm happy to be here. Happy to see you, Tig.

[B]

Happy to see you. I have to say, I. I was on a flight coming back to Los Angeles, and when I walked onto the plane. Yeah, I was greeted. You know how you're kind of like, I'm. I'm. I don't know if you're. If you're like this. I'm in my own world. I'm in my head. I'm boarding the plane. The flight attendant, he said, welcome, handsome.

[A]

No way. I love it.

[B]

Yeah. And I was like, huh? What? And I, I. For a split second I thought, oh, does he think I'm a man? Or does he think I'm so handsome he had to tell me or. And then. And then I realized by the little twinkle in his eye what was going on.

[A]

I always have that split second in the wild when someone says, hey, handsome. I'm like, oh, okay. And then I think, oh, right, right, right, right, right.

[B]

I know. He came up to me also after, and he was like, I have to say, I told my wife, you're on this flight and she loves you. And so whoever you were, I feel like this is going to get back to you because if your wife is so into this show that you know and you're saying that to me, then hello to you both again.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. That moment when you get on the plane and you're putting your thing away and then if, if there's. I always get stressed. If there's someone you know, and you're starting like a seven hour flight and you're like, every time I get up to pee, am I going to have to be like, how's your flight going? Okay. Like, you know, and you're trapped.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I think I told you. I. For. There was a while there where every time I was on a plane, I was on a plane with Tegan and Sarah.

[A]

No. That's so funny.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, guys, come on, we need to get a question from them.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. Actually. What else is going on?

[B]

I'm still really enjoying wandering around my house singing I'm a normal person having a normal life, doing normal things because I'm normal.

[A]

Sorry, when did that happen? Did I miss that?

[C]

On my.

[B]

I only told fortune that. Maybe I didn't tell either of you that, but I'm just really enjoying. Oh, it is such a hit. I can't stop singing it. But I'm just really happy with the changes I've made in my life to allow me more time at home and with my family and, and so, yeah, I wrote that hit song. I'm a normal person doing normal things in my normal life because I'm normal.

[A]

God, that slaps that. So I'm going to start singing that.

[B]

I love loading the dishwasher. I love doing laundry. I love folding the cubs little clothing. I love taking them to school. I just, I, I just, I love it. I love it.

[A]

That's really satisfying. And in a way, it's like you're casting a spell too. Like you're, you're going, I am normal and I'm doing normal things. And then it becomes. So, yeah, okay, I'm going to start singing that.

[B]

It's the finding balance in life and like really, really trying to make changes to make it happen rather than. Because I think I've talked about this, but like, for years I would tell people, oh, yeah, I'm finding that work life balance. And, and then I realized one day, no, I'm not. Yeah, I'm still just taking any job. I'm just like flying off and doing this and that and, and then I realized, oh, I have control and I can, I can decide what I'm gonna do for work, how much I'm gonna work and how much I'm gonna be home. And it just, it feels really good and I hope I can maintain this.

[A]

I really need to do that as well. And also with like having wayward just come out, then the immediate next question from all your agents and everything is like, what's next? And, and, and, and you start, you know, but you gotta take a minute sometimes.

[B]

Yes. And what, what are you gonna do to take a minute?

[A]

That's the thing. I'm not like, I, I do, I'm. My year is filling up so fast and I'm, I'm feeling a little panicked about it, so I'm, I have to carve out that time for sure because I want to be a normal person. Doing normal things, being normal, having a normal life.

[B]

Because you're normal, you know? Yeah.

[A]

Going up to Lake Arrowhead in an Uber with my sin, that's normal, right?

[B]

Oh, it's normal for you, May.

[A]

Yeah, you're right.

[B]

It's normal for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What about you? You're just. You're doing well?

[A]

Yeah, I'm doing well.

[B]

My heart being a big TV star.

[A]

Well, if I put my phone away, nothing is happening, you know, it all lives on your phone. Sometimes I do want to just live in a cottage by a river I've never done. So is this a thing in. In Mississippi river? Floating? Like tubing down a river where you drag your six pack in the water behind you in the icy river?

[B]

I mean, that's happened in Colorado. That's hap. I mean, I don't. Unless I'm missing something, I don't remember terribly icy rivers in Mississippi.

[A]

I've just never floated down a river on a tube with my six pack of dragon behind me. And I really.

[B]

You take your six pack everywhere you go, don't you? What's bringing up Mississippi and rafting and six packs and stuff? Did I say something about that?

[A]

I couldn't tell you why that came up. Or I. I'm kind of just letting things roll off.

[B]

You just woke up.

[A]

I just woke up. Let's be honest, I woke up two and a half minutes ago.

[B]

Yes, you did share that. Right before we got on here. You just Woke up. It's 10:45 in the morning.

[A]

Well, the mornings are tough for me. I. Because I stay awake. But pretty soon we're recording in the evening and I'm excited about that.

[B]

And also pretty soon we're going to be recording very early in. So I'm hoping to see you there. Yeah, we have an 8 or 8:30 in the morning recording in person.

[A]

Oh, fine. I don't have to worry about that for now. And I'll tuck myself in so early the night before.

[B]

Maybe Fortune and I could come over with Thomas and tuck you in.

[A]

Stop. That's all I've ever wanted is to be tucked in by you too. I want to wake up May. Oh my God. If I wake up in the morning. Yeah, all three of you are in my room yelling, Martin and Fruit.

[B]

I've wanted to offer a service at a hotel of where you go in and you quietly wake somebody up. You're like, hey, good morning. You have. You have a zoom at 10.

[A]

Did you want breakfast? When you're a kid and your parent and your parents wake you Up.

[C]

It's.

[A]

I would see red because there was no way they could do it that wouldn't annoy me. Even if they're just like, morning, you're like.

[B]

Yeah. And then there's the reverse. I was scared one night, and I went and woke up my stepfather in the middle of the night. Scared.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he popped up and punched me in the stomach.

[A]

No. Yes. Take.

[B]

He, he didn't mean to. He was, like, totally asleep. Oh, punch me. God. I mean, trauma.

[A]

Trauma.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Your little body and you're. Hey, hey, Rick.

[B]

Rick. I was, like, probably eight or nine. Yeah.

[A]

That is traumatic. How long did it take him to figure out what was going on? And were you both just panicked?

[B]

I was too young to really understand that. He was asleep and startled, you know.

[A]

You thought he was just wailing.

[B]

I just. I didn't know. I was just confused. I was so confused because I was so scared. I had gone in for some help. I got punched by him to be. You know. The good news is he wasn't, like, the most aggressive person, so his punch was not impressive.

[A]

Right, Right. Were you having a nightmare or something? What do you think scared you?

[B]

I don't know if it was a night. I was, I was very scared as a kid. I was always. Yeah. Having nightmares. I thought somebody. Something was under my bed. Somebody's looking in the window. I just. And who knows? Maybe there were people under my bed and looking in the window. But I, I, I, I, I was very, very surprised. So was he. He was mortified and very apologetic. But I was crying.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Holding my stomach.

[A]

I was always. I didn't want to get in trouble for waking. I thought my mom would be angry if I woke her up, and she might have been, but. So I would go into their room and just stand and stare at them and hope that they would wake up naturally, because I didn't want to wake them up and say, I'm scared, so. But it's way scarier to wake up and there's just someone standing, staring.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

Yeah. I would, like, burn a hole in their faces with my eyeballs.

[B]

And would it wake them up?

[A]

Yeah. And then my dad would wake up.

[B]

And go over and punch you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what's smart?

[C]

Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking that you got candy for trick or treaters. I really don't want to spend another Halloween with all of the lights off in my house to avoid disappointing Kids hoping for a sweet treat.

[A]

Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Well, should we listen. Should we get some questions from.

[B]

Yeah, let's do it. That's why we're here.

[A]

Yeah, let's do it.

[D]

Hi, this is Noah. I'm a middle schooler from Charlottesville, Virginia, and I was wondering if there was anything that you would tell your younger self about being queer in middle school or any advice you could give to me and my friends who are queer and are trying to navigate middle school.

[A]

Thank you, Noah.

[B]

I feel like this is right up your alley. May.

[A]

Really? Why?

[B]

Because I. I didn't realize that I was gay until, you know, I was probably 20 or something.

[A]

I was a little older, too. I think my main advice to young people or something that comes up for me a lot is to remind young people, because there's so much online out there, and there's so much, like, worrying stuff in the news, and then there's also a lot of community online. And I would just say, just remember that your. Your sexuality is just one small fraction of who you are. And even though it's totally empowering to, like, step into it and. And know yourself in that way, you got so much other stuff going on as well. And it can sometimes, especially if you're having to defend your. Your identity, it can become, like an inflated part of. Of who you are, and. And it's. It's no bigger than any straight persons. You know what I mean? So don't let it stress you out and just know that it can be dynamic and change and be fluid and life is long and. And nurture all the other parts of you, too. All your interests, all your friendships, all your.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your school and all kinds of things. But it's just hard if you're constantly having to defend it or you feel under attack, but just. It's always dangerous to enshrine the self. Like, it becomes a little shell or armor. So just stay. Stay loose, stay fluid.

[B]

I'm gonna have to agree with me. And I also. Yeah. And I also hate to sound like a really boring parent, but I just feel like it's so true. And it's. That who you are is really a superpower. Exactly who you are. And I don't care. Gender, sexuality, anything. I really, really am so thankful that I followed my own path and that I really tried to live as authentic of a life as possible because I really like who I am, and I didn't always, but I did follow my gut in life, and I think it's really important. And if people tell you that just being yourself is enough and is very special, I am here to put some power behind that statement as well, because I really believe it.

[A]

Yeah. And I mean, we. I feel like in comedy, we get that reinforced all the time. Like, we learn that, yeah, the most specific things about yourself are the things that are gonna. Yeah. Connect you with other people and are gonna be applauded. And so, yeah, if you can tap into, like, the most specific things about what are you. What music are you into? What's your. You know, how you dress. Yeah. You're.

[B]

The way you dance, the way you talk, the. All of those things that. I mean, I remember coming from Mississippi and Texas and moving to New Jersey for a little while, and I didn't know I had an accent. I shook it off, I think, over the years, but they laughed so hard when I opened my mouth. But it's also. It's that endearing part of you, like, even after everybody's laughing, that's. You want little characters in your life. You want interesting people, and I. I want that for. For my kids. I want them to be around every type of person. I want them to have a crew of characters around them.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You don't want everyone the same. It's so boring. It's so boring.

[A]

Yeah, this. There's this bulldozing over all the nuances of. Of people and. Yeah, but that's all the. All the magic is in the weirdness. Yeah.

[B]

I grew up around a bunch of characters, and. Yeah. I'm so thankful to know all of those weirdos.

[A]

Oh, totally. Yeah. And also, just remember, middle school is notoriously so intense, and it won't always be this intense. So see if you can enjoy the intensity, because there'll be a moment later in life where you miss how intense those feelings are.

[C]

And.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, go for it. Be authentic. Don't push too hard in any way. Just be you and have a blast. Be safe and enjoy it. And let's get to the next question.

[D]

Hi, May, Tig and Fortune. This is Casey calling from Salem, Mass. Home of the Witches. I'm so excited. I finally thought of a question to ask, and it was inspired because I got tickets to Fortune's show coming up in Boston. It made me wonder, who is your favorite person or people to laugh with and why?

[A]

I feel like I Know your answer.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Who is it?

[A]

Stephanie? It is. Yeah. I thought so. Yeah.

[B]

But also I have, you know, a crew of friends from my childhood. And it's that deep, deep level of laughter that you can have. I mean, yes, Stephanie and I have it to a painful degree of crying, laughing, and I'm so thankful. But I'm equally as thankful for my old friends of decades that they know all the good, the bad, the dirty, the messy, the beauty, all of it. And so those laughs together are so deep and knowing and that feels incredible. Incredible.

[A]

You build this rich lore as well. Like there's. Yeah, every. Yeah, I feel the same way. I have my two best friends from when I was 13 and I just saw them in Toronto and it's like, nice. It doesn't matter. Like, like my one friend Gabby, her mom's very sick. My other friend Nicole, going through a divorce. I, you know, I'm always in some romantic drama or whatever and we get together and even the fact that we all are a mess makes us laugh so hard. And then, and then it. I mean, we really laugh like that teen hysteria laug and make fun of each other and it's so. Yeah. Old friends, man.

[B]

There's nothing better. Nothing better. I mean, there's certainly people over the years and comedians that tickle me and I enjoy.

[A]

But yeah, I think Lisa Gilroy makes me laugh hard. I mean, she really makes me laugh hard because we do it like improv scenes from like movie tropes. Like we did one where because we were sitting by a fire and then we were like, imagine this is the romantic scene in the rom com. And. And then she goes, you're different. And I go in a good way. And she goes, I'm not sure yet. And I laughed for like 20 minutes.

[B]

Yeah, she is very, very funny. Yeah, I had, I had a friend. Well, I know I've talked about him a million times. My old roommate, Chris Fairbanks, man.

[A]

Yeah, he.

[B]

He really tickles me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I had a. A very close friend, this guy that we really went in different directions and so it's compartmentalized in my mind where when I think back on funny things we did, I can laugh so hard and I'll be like, man, can't believe how things changed. Yeah. You know, but yeah, we. We just aren't in each other's lives.

[A]

Yeah, that happens. And it makes you. Yeah, it makes you grateful for the people that are. And yeah, that's major relationship goals and should be a sort of a non negotiable. I think is the person you're dating has got to make you laugh or.

[B]

Even if they don't make you laugh, if they find. If they are connecting. Yeah, but I mean, truly, I think there is nothing if somebody's not a funny person. I. I've dated plenty of people that would not be considered funny, but that they have a great sense of humor. And as long as you're laughing and connecting together, who cares who made the joke? Yeah, but I. Yeah, I need that in a relationship. I need a deep, deep laugh with somebody.

[A]

Should we hear Casey's answer?

[B]

I think we should, May.

[D]

I'm going to see Fortune with my brother and sister and each of their fiances, and I love laughing with them because we can be really relaxed with each other. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face every week. Keep it handsome, Casey.

[B]

Thank you. You keep it handsome and enjoy Fortune. Fester. I don't know. I feel like we're wrapping up this episode here, and people need to know. You got to subscribe. You got to share episodes with friends. You got to help us build this community. You got to go to speakpipe.com handsome pod and submit your questions.

[A]

Yeah, you got to.

[B]

You got.

[A]

You simply got to.

[B]

Or you're gonna lose us. You don't want to lose us.

[A]

Yeah. And maybe ask the funniest person in your life, like, the person who makes you laugh the most. Ask them to send us a question.

[B]

I think that's a great idea, May.

[A]

Yeah. Or send one together with, like, an old friend from high school.

[B]

Yeah, May, I'm on your side about this.

[A]

Thanks.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

My God, May. Of course. Thanks for sending my back. Thanks for sending in your questions. And I don't know, I would say, until next time, keep it pretty handsome. That was a hit gum podcast. You know what's smart?

[C]

Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on your car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking that you've got your sunglasses before going on a drive at sunset. You're driving west, and the evening sky is beautiful, but you're trying to focus on the road.

[A]

Yeah. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.