Podcast Summary: Handsome – "Rob McElhenney asks about changing your mood"

Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Guest Question Asker: Rob McElhenney
Date: September 2, 2025
Time Stamps reference actual content only (skip ads, intros, outros)

Episode Overview

This episode centers around the prompt from guest Rob McElhenney: "Do you have anything in your lives that you can turn to that will instantly change your mood?" The hosts, comedians Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin, share deeply personal, quirky, and often hilarious insights. Other topics explored are life coaching, therapy, cultivating boundaries, and impulsive shopping while on a self-imposed retreat. Listeners get the signature banter and playful vulnerability that define the podcast, plus memorable stories about emotional resets and the importance of embracing life's little joys.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Life Coaching vs. Therapy (01:00–06:52)

• Mae introduces her life coach, Jen Horak, to the surprise of Tig and Fortune, explaining the appeal over traditional therapy.
  • Therapy can be daunting with its direct focus on childhood and trauma, whereas life coaching can be more practical and proactive (04:22).
  • Mae enjoys the blend of arts and crafts with self-discovery: “...if you are someone like me who's kind of scared of therapy ... a qualified therapist under the guise of a life coach... you can do arts and crafts while you do it.” (03:19)
  • The hosts joke about bringing a life coach to a cabin and whether Mae is being billed for friendship hours (04:52–05:25).
  • Tig shares she’s read Martha Beck’s "The Way of Integrity," inspiring her to seek out life coaches and sleep coaches (06:02).
• Personal Growth:
  • Mae notes the biggest shift since starting life coaching is learning how to stop over-promising and set boundaries.
    • “Trying to have more boundaries up front so that I don't end up in this web of anxiety...” (07:52)
  • The group discusses learning to say no without justification, and the relief and maturity that comes with it.
    • “It used to just be like a paragraph of why.… I'm like, I actually don't owe that to anyone.” – Fortune (08:31)

2. On Being Busy and Taking Breaks (09:29–11:13)

• Mae reflects on being too busy in the past, leading to “webs” of obligations and mediocre performance:
  • “I felt like I had like four full time jobs… I never want to be that busy again.” (09:32)
• Tig shares her love for solo travel rituals, namely hop-on, hop-off bus tours, describing them as “relaxing” and a way to unwind even alone (10:08–10:58).

3. Therapeutic Curiosity & Zoom Therapy (11:25–14:10)

• Fortune discusses returning to therapy, now on Zoom, appreciating its convenience (11:39).
• Mae admits to being nosy about therapists’ private lives, which Fortune finds odd.
• The hosts discuss boundaries around personal questions, both in therapy and friendships; how much, if any, to pry.

4. Unexpected Visitors & Security Tangent (14:19–16:46)

• Mae recounts being approached by two young men with braces at her Airbnb, joking they might be “casing the joint.”
• Tig tells a story of a neighbor who was robbed via a “lost dog” distraction scheme (15:02–15:47).
• A brief chat on introversion surfaces: Tig is comfortable being unreachable—no voicemail, broken doorbell, “completely fine to not hear from anyone.” (15:58–16:41)

5. Mae’s Online Shopping Spree (20:20–26:30)

• Isolated in Lake Arrowhead, Mae relapses into “urban capitalism,” ordering a plethora of items online, from tripods to synthesizers, clear mascara, weights, water shoes, and a weightlifting bench.
  • The hosts tease her for her impractical exuberance and ponder logistics of returning all her loot to LA via Uber (20:50–26:32).
• Memorable Moment:
  • “Let’s have the facts. Let’s hear, you know.” – Tig, asking Mae for her list of Amazon purchases. (21:49)
• Total spent: About $900, which the group laughs is “hundreds of dollars of nonsense.” (26:42–26:54)

6. The Indigo Girls, Witches, and Past Lives (Musical Tangent) (29:08–32:49)

• Singing and lyric references abound, sparked by the idea of getting a life coach who answers all questions in songs (29:16–30:18).
• The group debates their past lives: Witch or witch-burner? Mae gives a quick history of Galileo and references matrilineal ancestry and pre-electricity night skies (30:25–32:46).

The Core Question: "How do you shift your mood instantly?"

Rob McElhenney’s Question (37:19)

Rob: “Do you have anything in your lives that you can turn to that will instantly change your mood?...”

Hosts' Answers

Tig Notaro (37:58–40:54)

• Walking in nature is Tig’s go-to:

  “When I take a walk, when I just head out into nature and I'm looking at beautiful things...there’s nothing better to me to shift my mood.” (38:42)

• She reflects on the privilege of travel, seeing natural beauty in different forms, but admits to enjoying even the familiar sights in her neighborhood: “...it's so nice when you're really submerged in nature though.” (39:32–40:34)
• Memorable Quote:

  “I just, when I take a walk...there’s nothing better to me to shift my mood.” – Tig (39:02)

Fortune Feimster (41:28–42:56)

• Her dog, Biggie, brings instant joy:

  “Just his little like unconditional love just immediately puts me in the best headspace.” (41:39)

• Sitting with a coffee on a bench, being near water, or just gazing at lakes. Fortune is “pretty steady” but these simple pleasures reset her mood (42:32).
  • “It doesn't take a lot. I'm not a big—my mood doesn't shift significantly. I'm pretty steady.” (42:57–43:03)

Mae Martin (43:13–44:51)

• Exercise and escape rooms help reset Mae’s mindset:

  “Working out, if I can be bothered will always change how my entire body feels and brain. But honestly, an escape room — it's for an hour, I'm offline, I'm focused, adrenalized...” (43:13)

• Live performance: Even when emotional, going on stage can shift everything:

  “I've had moments where I've been...in an argument...or even got news that a comedy friend passed away just moments before getting on stage... then I walk off like, wow, that's really insane how much things shifted.” – Tig (44:06–44:41)

• Memorable:

  “Escape rooms. Being chased around a locked room is a good one.” – Mae (43:13)

Rob McElhenney’s Answer (47:00–48:31)

• A photo on his refrigerator provided by Caitlin Olsen—of a little boy opening a box of new shoes and beaming with joy—reminds Rob to practice gratitude:

  “I just think about that photo...the billions of people on the planet...who would be overjoyed by the simple pleasure of enjoying new shoes. So that changes my perspective.” (48:17)

• Quote:

  “He looks like he's opening a box full of new shoes...beaming to the heavens with a face of abject joy...I find that whenever I'm feeling frustrated or angry or sad or most importantly, ungrateful, I just think about that photo...” – Rob (47:18–48:17)

The Power of Perspective (Listener Invitation) (49:05–49:13)

• Mae sends the group her own “strength” photo—a girl holding an owl—and the hosts call for listeners to share the images that help shift their mindsets.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Mae on boundaries:

  “Because I want everyone to like me. And so. Yeah. Trying to have more boundaries up front so that I don't end up in this web of anxiety...” (07:52)

• Fortune on being steady:

  "I'm pretty steady. So it doesn't take much to get me out of if. If I'm worked up about something." (43:04)

• On performance and emotional resilience:

  “It's crazy to think of being an audience member and not realizing...what is going on in that performer's life before they walk on stage.” – Tig (44:51)

• Mae, reflecting on humanity:

  “My grandma's grandma lived before electricity... that’s so close to us now... It’s wild.” (32:10–32:30)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Life Coaching & Therapy: 01:00–07:52
• Busyness & Overpromising: 09:29–11:13
• Zoom Therapy & Curiosity: 11:25–14:10
• Visitor/Robbery Tangent: 14:19–16:46
• Mae’s Shopping Spree: 20:20–26:30
• Core Question Introduction: 37:19
• Tig’s Mood Changer: 38:42
• Fortune’s Mood Changer: 41:39
• Mae’s Mood Changer: 43:13
• Rob’s Photo Answer: 47:00
• Mae’s “Strength” Photo: 48:55

Tone and Takeaways

The episode strikes a balance between vulnerability and levity, blending real talk about self-care and emotional maturity with signature comedic riffing. The hosts model healthy boundaries, celebrate the small joys, and encourage listeners to find accessible ways to reset and reframe tough emotions.

Fans (and newcomers) walk away reassured that everyone—from celebrated comedians to Emmy-winning actors—struggles with mood, boundaries, and impulsivity, but that self-acceptance, laughter, and perspective can shift everything.

For more:

• Listen to the full episode for in-depth stories and more off-the-cuff humor.
• Engage with Handsome on social media, and consider sharing an image or practice that instantly shifts your own mood!