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The holidays are such a joyful time, but let's be honest, they can also be a lot. There's so much to cook, so much to clean, and unfortunately, so much food waste.

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You know, we're always thinking about the small things we can do that make an impact not just for our own happiness, but for the planet too. And that's why I'm such a big fan of my Mill Food Recycler Mill is odorless and fully automated, eliminating all the pain points associated with old fashioned compost pails and smelly garbage cans. It makes keeping food out of the trash as easy as dropping it in. It can be hectic in my home or on the holidays, but mill keeps me keeping my cool when I'm hosting. With all the food prep and guests arriving, I never have to stress about the trash. Plus it looks super cool and modern in my kitchen.

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Add Mill to your wish list or gift one now get up to $200 off during their biggest sale of the season Thursday, November 20th through Monday, December 1st. Miss the sale, you can still get $75 off with code happy visit mill.com happy that's mill.com H A P P Y the holidays can be a little hectic. Travel delays, long to do lists, extra guests, and somehow never quite enough Rest Sleep starts to feel like a luxury. That's why Coop Sleep Goods is here. Their award winning adjustable pillows are designed so every sleeper can find their perfect comfort. I I have the Eden adjustable pillow and I sleep so much better now that I have it. When we remake our bed and put on fresh pillowcases, Gretchen I make absolutely sure that that pillow is on my side of the bed. You can even add or remove filling to create the perfect alignment for how you sleep.

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And if you're someone who tends to sleep warm, the cool and adjustable pillow might be your favorite. Coop has more than 100,000 five star reviews and 86% of coop sleepers say they sleep better after switching Give the gift of rest or finally gift yourself better sleep. Visit coopsleepgoods.com happier to shop the holiday gift guide and get 25% off for a limited time. That's coopsleepgoods.com Happier.

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Lemonade.

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I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is a little happier. Something I think about constantly is expectations. I think about the outer expectations that others impose on us, like work deadlines and the inner expectations we impose on ourselves, like wanting to keep a New Year's resolution. I think about these kinds of expectations because they stand at the core of my four tendencies Personality framework that divides people into upholders who are questioners, obligers, and rebels. If you want to learn more about this framework and discover your tendency, take my free quiz@gretchenrubin.com More than three and a half million people have taken that quiz. But expectations are important in another sense. In our lives, we have expectations about how things will go, what we'll experience, how we'll behave and how other people will behave. And the responses that we feel to situations. Whether we feel pleased, angry, resentful, worried, relieved, or whatever, is often a reflection of those expectations. If we expect something better than what we actually encounter, the experience feels more negative. And if we expect something less than what we encounter, it feels more positive. This is a very common observation. It has given rise to many familiar proverbs, Expect the best, prepare for the worst. Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen. That one is often attributed to writer Annie Lamott. Disappointment is the gap between expectation and reality. Keep your expectations low and you'll never be let down. Happiness equals reality minus expectations. I was thinking about this truth in the context of the empty nest stage of life. I've noticed that the empty nest, or as I'm calling it, the open door, is a transition when many people grapple with expectations. For instance, parents show a wide range in their expectations of the frequency of connection with their child, and whether they feel good or bad about that frequency depends on their expectations. Often, parents and children don't discuss these expectations explicitly. They don't talk about what they expect, and then they're disappointed, resentful, or annoyed by a parent or child's communication style. For instance, many parents expect that they'll communicate with their children in college just as much as they communicated with that child at home. Or because they see that a child texts all day long with their friends, they expect to share the same constant stream of contact themselves. Children, on the other hand, may expect a much lower level of communication. It's a very common source of tension. But at the core of this issue is a clash of expectations. It's not so much about what people are actually doing, but what is expected. One mother told me, my son texts me all the time. I hear from him every few days. Another mother said, I almost never hear from my son in a week. I only get two or three texts or calls. The behavior is the same. It's the expectations and the framing that are different. I learned about a striking example of this Issue of expectations with the phenomenon of Paris Syndrome. This syndrome is the sense of extreme disappointment exhibited by some individuals when visiting Paris who feel that the city does not live up to their expectations. It's a severe form of culture shock. It's typically discussed in the context of tourists from Japan. So why might some tourists from Japan feel this profound letdown when they visit Paris for the first time? One reason is that many Japanese people have an idealized vision of Paris. In Japanese culture, the city is often portrayed as an idyllic place of splendor, romance, and luxury. And of course, Paris is an extraordinary city, rich in art, history and beauty. But it's also an ordinary city. It has its grit and grime, especially compared to the cities of Japan. It has inhabitants who may act rude or grumpy. It has bad weather. One expert commented that Paris Syndrome isn't really specific to Paris, but occurs when we feel disappointment or even despair when reality doesn't live up to our romantic expectations. Maybe we're disappointed because we thought Paris would be more immaculately beautiful. Or maybe we're disappointed because we thought we'd text back and forth all day long with our college freshmen. The more we expect, the more disappointed we may be in Paris or anywhere. I'm Gretchen Rubin and I hope this makes your week a little happier. From the Onward Project.