Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Bonus: Hacks to Make the Holidays Happier [Revisited]
Date: November 30, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft
Episode Overview
In this lively bonus episode, Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft revisit one of their most popular “holiday hacks” episodes, originally recorded eight years ago. The sisters swap practical, manageable strategies for making the holiday season happier, less stressful, more meaningful—and ultimately, more fun. They reflect on childhood memories, evolving (and letting go of) traditions, and offer a mix of concrete and philosophical advice to help listeners navigate holiday challenges. Throughout, the tone remains warm, honest, and gently humorous, with an emphasis on flexibility, self-knowledge, and love.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Declaring an Official Start to the Holidays
(03:11 – 05:06)
- Don’t Stress Too Early: Gretchen suggests choosing a specific date when you’ll begin holiday preparations. Until then, don’t “beat yourself up” for not starting.
“I’m not going to worry about this until the day after Thanksgiving or December 10th or whatever it is for you, so that you don’t needlessly worry before you’re ready to start actually doing something.” — Gretchen (03:31) - Savory Moments: Both sisters warn against letting holiday pleasures (like special drinks and music) creep in too soon and lose their magic.
“If we start drinking the holiday blend now, by the time the holidays are actually here, it won’t feel fun and special.” — Elizabeth (04:24)
2. The Cookie Exchange Party Tradition
(05:07 – 07:15)
- Childhood Favorite: Elizabeth describes a magical cookie exchange party from their youth, where each guest brings cookies to trade.
- Easy for Hosts: Gretchen points out that, from a hosting perspective, this is “not a complicated party to pull off” since everyone brings something, and the main activity is built-in.
- Nostalgia Factor: The warmth and anticipation made the event a highlight—even for Gretchen, who didn’t attend!
3. Photographing Your Holiday Displays
(07:16 – 08:24)
- A Practical Hack from Mom: Take and store a photo of your holiday décor to easily recreate your favorite displays next year.
- Decision Fatigue Saver: Gretchen credits this routine with reducing stress:
“It has saved me a lot of decision fatigue…just going to do this Christmas tree the way I’ve always done it.” — Gretchen (07:48)
4. Managing Holiday Spending
(08:31 – 09:37)
- Cash vs. Credit: The sisters highlight the importance of knowing your own impulse control style. For some, using cash helps curb spending; for others, credit cards offer better tracking. “Figure out which one works for you and then use that system as a way to control spending.” — Gretchen (09:34)
5. Avoiding Free Samples
(09:41 – 10:33)
- Mindless Consumption Trap: They remind listeners that free samples in stores are designed to spur purchases and cravings, not just holiday cheer. “Walk on by that free sample table.” — Gretchen (10:32)
6. Gift Lists & Family Preferences
(10:33 – 12:16)
- Make Lists & Take Photos: Don’t rely on memory—email yourself gift ideas or snap a photo for later.
- Gifting Styles: The Rubin-Craft family shares gift lists openly, prioritizing getting each other precisely what they want over surprise. “There isn’t that air of mystery. But for us, that really works well.” — Gretchen (11:43)
7. Establishing a Family Holiday Movie
(12:16 – 13:21)
- Simple, Meaningful Tradition: Pick a movie to watch together each year, building anticipation and shared experience.
- Creative Variations: Choices can be classic (“It’s a Wonderful Life”), nostalgic, or even ambitious (Gretchen’s friend’s family watches the entire “Lord of the Rings” trilogy every New Year’s Day!).
Letting Go and Evolving Traditions
(17:24 – 22:26)
- Flexibility Required: Gretchen shares poignantly how getting married (to someone without Christmas tree traditions) and living in NYC forced her to let go of the big tree idea. Instead, she now uses tabletop trees. “Life became so much easier when I let go of the idea that Christmas wasn’t Christmas unless I had gone out to the corner in the snow and dragged home the six-foot Christmas tree.” — Gretchen (18:38)
- Changing Holidays as Kids Grow: As children leave home, some traditions (like annual Halloween photos) may fade or shift.
- “I had a little moment…but again, I know I would have to hound and nag Eliza to get this picture. It would be like this huge thing. Just let go of it…Let it evolve.” — Gretchen (20:26)
Listener Challenge
- Call for Stories: The hosts warmly invite listeners to share how their traditions have changed or what traditions they’ve had to let go.
Navigating Family Dynamics & Managing Holiday Conflict
(21:19 – 26:45)
- Anticipate Challenges and Set Boundaries: Gretchen urges listeners to think ahead about tricky situations, focusing on how they want to behave, rather than trying to control others. “You can’t control how other people are going to behave. But…knowing what I know about what the situation is likely to hold for me, how do I want to behave for myself?” — Gretchen (22:07)
- Safeguards and Strategies: Plan ahead (sit at the other end of the table, moderate alcohol, have an exit strategy for conflict). This applies to food, bedtime, and all temptations.
- Sensitive Topics: Avoid questions like “When will you have a baby?” or “When are you getting married?”
- Substitute with: “What’s keeping you busy these days?” (Gretchen, 25:20)
- The ‘Yes, And’ of Conversation: Apply this improv principle to keep discussions positive and moving forward.
“That doesn’t help us have a conversation. So please give me something to work with here.” — Gretchen (25:39)
The Heart of the Holidays: Fill Your Heart with Love
(26:45 – 28:34)
- Gratitude as a Reframe: Reframe difficult feelings by focusing on what you love about family and traditions.
“Try to get yourself into that place where you can think about all the reasons you have for loving the people and traditions around you.” — Gretchen (26:46) - Tolerating Quirks and Stress: Remember your gratitude during irritating moments—it fosters patience and understanding.
- Splendid Truths of Happiness:
- “One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.” — Gretchen (28:34)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Don’t beat yourself up…until a certain part.” — Gretchen (03:31)
- “If we start drinking the holiday blend now, by the time the holidays are actually here, it won’t feel fun…” — Elizabeth (04:24)
- “It was always like, ‘What kind of cookies should we make?’ and wanting to make a cookie that looked really delicious to other people…” — Gretchen (05:55)
- “Take a photograph of it, print it out, and store it in the box with your holiday decorations…” — Gretchen (07:18)
- “Know yourself better.” — Elizabeth (09:37)
- “This goes to the thing where it’s like, life evolves, things change…just to do it sort of sucks all the life energy out of the tradition itself.” — Elizabeth (19:02)
- “Let it evolve. Life is evolving. Life is changing. We need to change the tradition, too.” — Gretchen (20:33)
- “How do I want to behave for myself?” — Gretchen (22:07)
- “What’s keeping you busy these days?” — Gretchen (25:20)
- “One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.” — Gretchen (28:34)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 03:11 — How and when to "start" the holidays
- 05:07 — Cookie exchange party tradition
- 07:16 — Photographing your décor for next year
- 08:31 — Managing holiday spending: cash vs. card
- 09:41 — Why to avoid free samples
- 10:33 — Making gift lists and gift-giving logistics
- 12:16 — Establishing a family holiday movie tradition
- 17:24 — Evolving and letting go of treasured traditions
- 21:19 — Dealing with family dynamics and potential conflicts
- 24:28 — Navigating tricky conversation topics
- 26:45 — The power of gratitude and reframing during holiday stress
Tone & Style
Gretchen and Elizabeth’s tone is sisterly, encouraging, practical, and warm—with a blend of humor and candor. They admit to their imperfections, reminisce, and emphasize that there’s no one right way to “do” the holidays. Above all, they advocate for self-awareness, gentle boundaries, and focusing on love amidst the stresses.
Listener Invitation
The sisters repeatedly encourage listeners to send in their own hacks, stories of evolving traditions, and suggestions for making the holidays brighter for themselves and others.
Closing Wisdom
“Let your traditions reflect your life as it really is, not as you wish it could be. Fill your heart with love—and, whenever possible, focus on the happiness and gratitude at the center of every gathering.”
This engaging holiday hack smorgasbord offers both practical tips and heartfelt perspective for making the season less stressful, more meaningful, and—true to the podcast’s mission—a little bit happier.