← Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Ep. 517: Strengthen Your Grip, a Haiku Hack & Musician Mike Posner Talks Happiness
00:38:10
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- [00:02]
Elizabeth Craft
Lemonada. Hey, everyone, it's Elizabeth. I wanted to let you know we recorded this just before we were ordered to evacuate our house at Encino. We got to a hotel, and we're safe. And thanks to the efforts of so many, our house is safe as well. And I really want to just thank everybody for reaching out to see how we're doing.
- [00:38]
Gretchen Rubin
Hello, and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about ideas and strategies for making everyday life happier. This week, we'll talk about why I'm planning to work on my grip strength, and we'll talk to star musician Mike Posner about why he's happier now than he's ever been. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, human nature, secrets of adulthood. I'm in my little home office in New York City, and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth report in from Los Angeles. Because of the wildfires that are going on now, people are worried about you. We've had so many people asking, how are you doing?
- [01:18]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, that's me, Elizabeth Craft, a writer and producer living in la, in Encino, where. Yes, Gretchen, I am really lucky that we have not lost power and we do not have an active fire threatening our house at the moment. But it is just devastating. I mean, there's no other word for it.
- [01:38]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah.
- [01:40]
Elizabeth Craft
You know, I don't even know what to say, except for would really appreciate how many people have reached out to all of us Angelenos so far. I know two people personally who've lost their house, and then I just hear about dozens and dozens of people. So the firefighters have been amazing, as I'm sure you've heard. All the first responders, all the volunteers, all the communities coming together, Airbnb offering people places to stay. I mean, there's been so much good, but it really does feel like, you know, I don't know how exactly the city recovers from this.
- [02:26]
Gretchen Rubin
Right, right. No, it's homes, it's stores, it's schools, it's nature, it's this fire and this wind.
- [02:35]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, the wind and the dryness was just an awful combination and just created, you know, a catastroph.
- [02:45]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, the Los Angeles Times did a useful article with links to different organizations if people want to donate. And it's sort of like, do you want to donate to the firefighters, or do you want to donate to the people or whatever. So we'll post a link to that in the show notes, because everybody is watching this. Everybody. You know, it's hard to grasp the scale of it. But I think people want to help, so hang in there.
- [03:08]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. You know, we'll go forth and do what we do.
- [03:11]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. Yeah. Well, a few other updates before we launch into this week's episode.
- [03:18]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, Gretchen, we have an Ask Us Anything episode coming up, so please send us your questions. We've been getting great questions. Yeah, keep them coming. You can ask us anything about ourselves, about writing, about Kansas City or New York or la, whatever you want.
- [03:37]
Gretchen Rubin
Having Corgis.
- [03:38]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, any. Any questions about Corgis? I'm happy to answer.
- [03:42]
Gretchen Rubin
Our email again is podcastretchenrubin.com or you can hit us up on social media Update on my Habits for Happiness Course it is the last call to sign up for the 2025 Habits for Happiness course. This is my most interactive and supportive course yet, really designed to help people get that habit figured out in 2025. You can join now and get 25% off, or you can join the 90 day kickstart, which is an option that to test the waters before committing to the full year. But enrollment does close January 17th, so for more go to happiercast.com habitscourse can't.
- [04:20]
Elizabeth Craft
Wait to hear how people do with their habits. Gretch.
- [04:23]
Gretchen Rubin
Me too. I can't. I'm so curious. And then there's one final note. As we've mentioned, our 10th anniversary is coming up. We have new theme music and we have heard from people, Elizabeth, over the years about more happier, that it's ungrammatical the way we use the phrase more happier. The episode is called more happier. And that's fine because that's more of the happier podcast. You're getting more happier. But we also use the phrase more happier in an ungrammatical way. And for some people, this just clearly grates on their ears to an almost unbearable extent. We know that it's ungrammatical. We thought that was kind of funny. So it's not that we didn't know. But Melissa, I would say we really committed to the bit.
- [05:08]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [05:08]
Gretchen Rubin
And it seems like, you know, we've had our fun and now let's go back to good grammar. We appreciate good grammar in others. So if you are one of the people who found that tough to take, fear not. Going forward, we will not use that phrase in an ungrammatical way.
- [05:23]
Elizabeth Craft
It's our gift to you. We're retiring that phrase.
- [05:27]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes. So this week our try this at home tip, and this is a tip that I'm telling myself is work on your grip strength.
- [05:35]
Elizabeth Craft
This is definitely one of our more Practical. Try this at home. Tips.
- [05:39]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. This is not on the transcendent level, but here's the thing. I've been feeling like my hands are not as strong as they used to be. And the way that I experience this is like, you know, if you have a package and you're just ripping it open and maybe it has perforation or it's got something that you have not. Not some kind of clamshell that you, like, have to fight to open with industrial strength tools, but just something that you're meant to be able to pull open. I found myself struggling to do that more and more. And I did exactly what I shouldn't do, which is I started using a box cutter to just slice things open. And then I realized, no, by doing this, I'm actually just weakening. If I'm feeling like I'm not strong enough, what I need to do is get stronger, not use a tool so that I don't have to use my strength at all.
- [06:23]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. I need to do this too, Gretchen. I've definitely noticed my grip strength being weaker. Like when I try to open jars.
- [06:31]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [06:31]
Elizabeth Craft
More and more I'm asking Adam or Jack to open a jar.
- [06:36]
Gretchen Rubin
Right. Well, here's the thing is, this may seem like a minor thing, like, oh, we got so much stuff to think about with our bodies. Why would we worry about this? But it turns out that grip strength really is, like a fundamental component of physical fitness. It's important for injury prevention. It turns out it's a reliable benchmark of just functional independence as we get older. And it turns out that research is suggesting that people's hands are becoming weaker overall. It's not just me. It's this trend. They're speculating that it might be because of smartphones and touchscreens, the way we engage with these devices. And it turns out that to strengthen grip strength, it's not just the little muscles in our hands, but also the ones in our forearms and that, you know, are correcting to our upper arms and our shoulders and our core. So, you know, it's just like every. Use it or lose it, it's one of these things where all the muscles are connected and you really want everything to be strong, connected, and in good shape.
- [07:29]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah. And what are some of the things that are impacted by this?
- [07:33]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, so it turns out if you have stronger grip muscles that stabilizes your wrists, which means that you are at less risk for, like, strain and injury, just like, during everyday life, or if you're working out and then, you know, there's things Just like, you know, you're carrying a bag of stuff. I was at a door yesterday where, like, I had to fight with all my strength to open this door in the wind. Like you say jars. That's a place where it comes up. Even something like getting up out of your seat. All can rely on the script strength. So it's something that we might not think. Think about, but that is actually a really pervasive part of our everyday life.
- [08:05]
Elizabeth Craft
All right, Gretchen, so how are you going to work on this?
- [08:08]
Gretchen Rubin
So I did some research to find some easy things that I can just do at my desk. Because my plan is, like, I just want to do this throughout my day. Just, I like having a little bit of activity. It helps me be less restless and concentrate.
- [08:18]
Elizabeth Craft
It's like a fidget. A fidget spinner idea.
- [08:21]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. So instead of a fidget spinner, maybe I'll do this. So you can hold a tennis ball in one hand and squeeze it as hard as you can for five seconds. And you repeat that three times in each hand, and you rest for 30 seconds between repetition. And then as you get stronger, you'll get a firmer squeeze. So I got a tennis ball. Another one is the towel ring. You can just do this with a towel. You get a hand towel, you get it wet, and then you wring it till there's no water left. You can do that three to five times, and then you switch the direction of ringing halfway through. And actually, our father gave us a device that mimics this, so you don't have to have a towel and water and all that, but it basically imitates that wringing motion. So I dug that out. He gave it to me, like, two years ago. I've never used it, so gonna use that thing. And then wrist curls. And I got old weights out of Eliza's room. She's not using them. So you get a dumbbell of one to five pounds, minor three pounds. And you hold it in each hand with an underhand grip. And so it should be like, a slight challenge, but not feel like a strain. And you curl the weights upwards by flexing your wrists and bring the dumbbells towards the body. Then slower them down with control. And you feel it in your forearms, too. Like, you feel all those muscles activating. See that? 2 to 3 time in sets of 8 to 12, with rest between sets. These I like, because these are things that I can just do right at my desk. I could do it on the phone. Yes, I could do it. You know, you and I, Elizabeth, we're Just chatting. I could be doing this. So I'm gonna keep all these things right at my desk, which I like to have a very clean desk. And I think I want to alternate between these. Cause again, I don't want to just work on one set of muscles. I want to have general strength in these all. When you do them, you can feel how they're slightly different in what they're doing.
- [09:56]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah. And Adam has one of those gripper, hand grip device that I want to. I asked him to pull out so that I could have that at my desk.
- [10:06]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, that's a great suggestion. Jamie has one too, and he does it while he watches tv. So like you say, it's like a fidget spinner. It's almost too hard for me to use now, but maybe I'll work up to it. Something to do.
- [10:15]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [10:15]
Gretchen Rubin
And the reason why this makes us happier is sometimes these little steps can be kind of a major intervention. Like if they prevent a major injury or they just keep us feeling healthy and active and, like, we can do all the things that we want to do as we go through our lives. And sometimes just a little stumble may prevent. Prevent to fall. And sometimes a little step can give you a big boost. And I just use my hands all the time. Listen, I remember on my last book tour, I was signing books, and by the end of it, my hands were just aching and aching and aching, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with my left hand. I could barely type, and I was really distressed. And then I realized I've overused those muscles. I don't write anymore. And so, like, my writing muscles were gone. So I'm like, okay, I got to work on my hands. You know, typing is not enough, clearly, but we love our hands.
- [10:59]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. I remember in college writing, like, three hour essays for exams. Now I could never write for three hours.
- [11:06]
Gretchen Rubin
I can't write a thank you note. I'm like, my hand. I feel like sweat drops coming off my hand.
- [11:10]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah.
- [11:11]
Gretchen Rubin
So let us know if you do try this at home and whether you're going to try to work on your grip strength or maybe you already are. Let us know on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook. Email us@podcastretchenrubin.com, go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com 517.
- [11:25]
Elizabeth Craft
Coming up, we have a happiness hack that taps into our everyday creativity. But first, this break.
- [11:40]
Gretchen Rubin
Elizabeth, you know how much we love our dog Barnaby. And one of the things if you love a dog is you want to feed them a healthy diet. And this is why we love Maeve. Dogs are biologically primed to digest and absorb key nutrients from an unprocessed, low carb, high protein, raw meat diet. And that's Maeve. It's formulated to meet our dog's needs. And their raw food for dogs is made with real human grade ingredients you can name just by looking. And there's no mess, there's no prep, just open, pour and serve. And Barnaby is very enthusiastic and I can see that he's more energetic now that he eats it.
- [12:19]
Elizabeth Craft
Make the switch to raw today. Right now, maeve is offering 20% off your first order@meetmave.com happier. That's spelled M A E V. Go to meetmave.com happier to receive 20% off your first order. That's meetmav.com happier. You know how sometimes a meal leaves you energized and other times sluggish, foggy or even hungrier? That may be your glucose talking. Foods that are sugar and carb heavy and you know my experience here cause your body's glucose levels to spike, often followed by a crash. This matters because it turns out 88% of us have suboptimal metabolic health. So glucose could be the next big thing to track when it comes to health. That's why we're excited about Lingo, a new biowearable from Abbott that tracks your glucose in real time.
- [13:16]
Gretchen Rubin
I've been wearing Lingo for weeks now and I've learned that for my body, if I move around after I eat a meal, my spike is much more gradual, much lower. And so I've learned that I just need to get up and move around after I eat. What works for me might work very differently for you, but that's what works for my body. To see how your body responds to food and learn what you can do to improve your metabolism, try Lingo. It starts at $49 for a two week plan, no prescription needed for a limited time. Save 10% on your first order with happier@hello lingo.com the Lingo Glucose System is.
- [13:51]
Elizabeth Craft
For users 18 years and older, not on insulin. It is not intended for diagnosis of diseases, including diabetes. For more information, please visit helolingo.com us.
- [14:04]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, Elizabeth, it's time for this week's Happiness hack.
- [14:07]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes, and this is one we love. It comes from Heather. She says, I love how you recommend that people write haikus. When my husband and I got married, he wanted to have a Quaker type ceremony where people stood up as the mood moved them to Say nice things about us. I was worried that people would speak at length, making it difficult to fit in everyone who wanted to speak. So I recommended that folks write limericks or haikus about us. It was amazing.
- [14:34]
Gretchen Rubin
This is such a great idea for so many reasons. But, Elizabeth, before we talk about that, let's do some definitions.
- [14:40]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. So what is a limerick?
- [14:43]
Gretchen Rubin
So a limerick is a verse, usually a humorous verse, traditionally of three long and two short lines that rhyme. A, A, B, B, A. So here's like a funny example that I remember from my science class in high school. There was a young woman named Bright whose speed was much faster than light. She set out one day in a relative way and returned on the previous night, which is all about the speed of light. So that's the limerick. They are often, I would say, a little bit raunchy, but not necessarily. Not for a wedding, we hope. And then there's the haiku.
- [15:17]
Elizabeth Craft
So the haiku comes from Japan. It's 17 syllables in three lines of five, seven and five.
- [15:26]
Gretchen Rubin
So here's a haiku I wrote when Eliza left for college. I just came across it. Of course, it's more apt than ever now that Eleanor is gone. This is such, like an open door, empty nest haiku. Here it is. Where did the time go? My girl is off to college. Days are long, years short.
- [15:45]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah, I love how it just distills everything down to the point.
- [15:48]
Gretchen Rubin
Right? And then here's one. Okay, so one of the reasons why this is nice is that it elevates something because there is this formality, there's this structure put into. It makes people sort of reach for a little bit of creativity and it can add a transcendent level or like an elevated air to something that. Something that we're creating. And so when Jamie and I got married, we sent out an information letter to all the out of town guests. Like, here's a hotel where you can get a deal and this is the airport, and here's a good place to get barbecue, whatever. And so to kind of make it more fun, I asked Jamie to ride a haiku. Jamie is really good at riding haikus. He will rarely do it, but we did. And because the theme of all of this information was we were really playing with the idea of cowtown and barbecue and the Midwest and the cow ness of it all. And then you also have to know that Kansas City is known as the city of fountains. Allegedly, we in Kansas City tell ourselves that we are second only to the city of Rome for the number of fountains. I don't know if that's true, but that's what we say. And so this was his haiku. So it was titled Kansas City, City of Fountains, Land of the Sirloin Party Till the Cows Come Home.
- [16:56]
Elizabeth Craft
I love that.
- [16:57]
Gretchen Rubin
So that was just fun. And added something to that dry informational wedding letter.
- [17:02]
Elizabeth Craft
I mean, you can adapt this to any. Gretchen. If someone has a big birthday, you could propose to everyone, hey, write an email, a haiku, and then you could compile them all for the person and make a little book.
- [17:17]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah, I love that. And you know, sometimes people ask you to send in a video. Maybe it's just, you know, the kind of people that we are. Elizabeth. But I would find it more fun and easier to write a haiku than to do a video where like you have to worry about how you look and if you mess up, same. And it could be a great keepsake. Cause it could be just like a printed book. And I like the way that there was an option of you could write a limerick or a haiku because I could see how a person might find one or the other easier or more fun to play with. And so you're not locking people into it, but it's very specific.
- [17:48]
Elizabeth Craft
And Gretchen, you and I have been talking so much about everyday creativity and how all of us are more creative than we realize.
- [17:55]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [17:55]
Elizabeth Craft
And this is a perfect way to tap into that.
- [17:58]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. Cause it's fun. It feels elevated and effortful and like interesting and impressive, but it's within reach of an ordinary person. It's not that demanding. It doesn't take that long. And it does add that element of imagination and cleverness. And I also think it is fun when you invite people to participate in a way that they can do and feel good about it. I mean, that is just a happy feeling. It's happy for them to feel like you're flexing your creative muscles and doing something like really personal and fun for somebody. Then it's fun for you to receive it. It's a great keepsake. I think you're right. This is something you could adapt in a lot of ways just to add that element of everyday creativity to ordinary life.
- [18:36]
Elizabeth Craft
There are no bad haikus and there.
- [18:39]
Gretchen Rubin
Are no bad haikus.
- [18:40]
Elizabeth Craft
As long as they fit the form, they're good.
- [18:42]
Gretchen Rubin
That's true. And now for an interview. We are so excited to be talking to musician Mike Posner.
- [18:50]
Elizabeth Craft
Since 2009, international, multi platinum selling Grammy nominated artist and songwriter Mike Posner has become one of the world's most recognizable voices. He really burst into public view with his 2016 album At Night Alone. It included his mega hit I Took a Pill in Ibiza, which made history as one of Spotify's top 10 most streamed songs of all time with 3 billion streams and earned Mike a 2017 Grammy nomination for Song of the year. Since that time, Mike has continued to create music, such as his most recent album, A Real Good Kid. He's also taken steps to center his life more on spirituality, mental health and joy. Along the way, he's done some surprising things. For instance, in 2019, he decided to walk across the United States. In 2021, he decided to climb Mount Everest. He's currently writing a book.
- [19:50]
Gretchen Rubin
We wanted to talk to him about happiness and creativity. Welcome, Mike.
- [19:55]
Elizabeth Craft
Hi, Mike.
- [19:56]
Mike Posner
Hi, how are you guys?
- [19:57]
Gretchen Rubin
Great to talk to you.
- [19:59]
Mike Posner
Yeah, you too. Thanks for having me on.
- [20:01]
Elizabeth Craft
So, Mike, as a young person, you had a huge SM smash hit, lots of fame and fortune. You've talked about how disorienting that success was. What did that roller coaster experience teach you?
- [20:15]
Mike Posner
It taught me a lot. And you mentioned the metaphor of a roller coaster so that, you know, that implies highs and lows. Now, the highs had their own lessons and the lows had their own lessons, and there's been multiple of both. Right. You know, so I guess I'll just pick one, you know, but when I first experienced success, I had a lot riding on it. I had all my eggs in the success basket, you know, so my story is not dissimilar from any money doesn't buy happiness or attention doesn't buy happiness. Cliche story. And you might ask yourself, well, Mike, why did you have to go learn that? Didn't your parents teach you money didn't buy happiness? Yeah, they taught me. I just did. I didn't listen. You know, I'm a little hard headed sometimes, so I had all the eggs in that basket. I. I was kind of an insecure child and teenager and then young adult. And I thought that if I got everyone to like me, I thought if I got fame and money, then it would actually make me feel better about myself because I thought that my view of myself was dictated by how others viewed me. Of course, you know, I had that all backwards, right? And so what happened was I got all. I was success, I was successful and I got the fame, I got the attention, I got the Grammy novel, all these things. And it's not that those things inherently made my life harder or worse. They just illustrated to me through the experience of pain and disillusionment that my theory was wrong. Because My experience of life, moment to moments, stayed the same as one could expect. Like, I didn't even need to finish that sentence for you guys to know how that's where that story was going. So at a very young age, probably younger than most, I essentially had, you know, like a midlife crisis at 22, you know, and what a gift that was because I got the privilege of asking, okay, if it's not about this external success, then what is it about? What could change my moment to moment experience of life? And I've spent the last decade and a half exploring that question and thankfully finding some answers as well. You know, you don't want to stay just a question asker forever.
- [22:39]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, last year you posted that you're the happiest you've ever been in your life. So why is that?
- [22:44]
Mike Posner
I think it's a confluence of a series of factors. But one frame I like to look at that through is joy could be looked at as present, plus some kind of excitement for the future. When I first got into the spiritual path, I got really into meditative practices, probably because I was naturally a quiet person. So we naturally focus on things we're already good at, you know, and this was really beautiful. I found myself on these strange retreats. I'd be on solitary retreats for two, three weeks where I didn't see another person alone with my thoughts and just really going deep. There was something exploratory about it and beautiful and found how to cultivate some presence. Meaning. What do we mean by presence? It's just being in the moment without judging the moment. How can I be in the moment without, you know, thinking, oh, gosh, is the microphone working? Or should I have it done differently? Or, like, is that. What is that over my shoulder? Is that like the pillow from the bed? Is people gonna think I'm slopped? You know, can I be in the moment without all that. That mental jargon running? That's presence. Okay, but element two. So I said presence plus excitement for the future equals joy. The second element, and this is what I missed for a long time, is we as humans, I believe each of us need something in the future that we're really looking forward to.
- [24:20]
Gretchen Rubin
Interesting.
- [24:21]
Mike Posner
We need it. We need it. And when the future is empty, I believe the present can quickly become unbearable. But when there's something in the future that we are excited about, we're a little scared of this idea, of this thing in the future. Can reach back from the future and imbue the present moment's suffering or pain with meaning. So I think when you add these two together, you get joy and happiness. And a lot of times, in my case, you ask, well, what Elijah would be the happiest you've ever been? Now, it's not like I never have challenges. I have them all the time. But on a high level, it's true. I am the happiest I've ever been. What was missing for me was the second element.
- [25:12]
Gretchen Rubin
Right.
- [25:12]
Mike Posner
I was operating under a story that I was sort of this tortured artist that people didn't understand how special I was. This was kind of like it's. It's a laugh out loud, silly story, but this was the narrative I had in my head. No one understands me. They don't get how special I am. I'm not appreciated for how this was, like, my baseline of how I filtered reality. And so I kind of wrote a new story and one that excited me and had kind of a different ending. And the confluence of those two equaled some more smiles.
- [25:47]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, my Gretchen and I both love walking, so we are fascinated that in 2019, you decided to walk across America, roughly 2,800 miles, 13 states. What a huge vision you had. How did you decide to do that and how did it go?
- [26:05]
Gretchen Rubin
That's a big, big undertaking.
- [26:07]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes.
- [26:08]
Mike Posner
Yeah. Well, it's beautiful. You asked your previous question first. Because I decided to do that when I was not the happiest I ever been. I was right close to the least happy ever been. In fact, I was looking in the mirror and at times thinking, like, maybe the world would be better without me in it. And there was nothing in the future I was looking forward to. So if I'm really honest, this doesn't, like, scan well for podcasts or for social media clips, but why I walked across America was a bunch of different reasons mixed in a pot.
- [26:46]
Gretchen Rubin
Sure.
- [26:47]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah.
- [26:47]
Mike Posner
One is what I just alluded to. I wanted to put something in my future that, like, got me out of bed in the morning, that I could look forward to that if I figured out how to do it. I knew I would have to become somebody new altogether in order to get it done. So there was a feeling of uncertainty and adventure to it. But that's not the only reason. The other reason, I thought it was cool to myself, and I wanted to be a version of myself. That was cool to me.
- [27:15]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah.
- [27:16]
Mike Posner
And then there's some, like, not so pretty reasons. Like, I also wanted other people to think I was cool.
- [27:22]
Elizabeth Craft
Right.
- [27:23]
Mike Posner
And I was like, you know, I knew it was kind of a wild thing, and that would get Attention. And I wish I could sit on your podcast and say no part of me cared about the attention or the significance that I might ascertain from embarking on a journey like this. But if I'm really honest, that was mixed in the. In the pot as well, you know, And. And those various different whys become apparent when you're on a journey like that because it's freaking hard. And so when it gets really hard, your body tells you very clearly, stop, you're hurting me. Stop doing this. And so then your whys start to. Okay, the significance why. That's not going to keep you going. The other ones might keep you going. And so they get exposed as. As you go.
- [28:14]
Gretchen Rubin
How long did it take?
- [28:16]
Mike Posner
It took six months and three days, Gretchen. Whoa. Yeah. Yep.
- [28:21]
Elizabeth Craft
Serious commitment.
- [28:22]
Gretchen Rubin
Well, and you got bitten by a rattlesnake along. That must have been, like, the lowest point. I mean, that must have been really tempting. Well, maybe it wasn't tempting to stop, but it must have been hard to keep going for sure.
- [28:33]
Mike Posner
I'll tell you the hardest part of the rattlesnake bite. So I was about two thirds of the way done. I got bit by his poisonous steak. I called 911.
- [28:41]
Gretchen Rubin
Oh, my gosh.
- [28:43]
Mike Posner
I asked dispatch, am I gonna die? Because I start. As the poison started to go through my body, just like, you know, there's this camera on me now. It was like Looney Tunes where darkness started to creep in from the edges of me, and I felt myself fading away. So I said, am I gonna die? And the voice on the other end of the phone said, I don't know, sir.
- [29:04]
Elizabeth Craft
Oh, my gosh.
- [29:05]
Mike Posner
I spent three nights in the icu. My leg swells to the size of an elephant trunk. I go from walking 24 miles a day to now I can't walk to the bathroom.
- [29:14]
Elizabeth Craft
Wow.
- [29:14]
Mike Posner
None of that was hard. None of that was hard? No, in part. In fact, parts of it were easy because I got to be in air conditioning. I had to be around other human beings.
- [29:24]
Gretchen Rubin
Right. You knew the food, like, food was coming.
- [29:26]
Elizabeth Craft
Other people were in charge.
- [29:28]
Mike Posner
The rest of my body got to rest.
- [29:31]
Gretchen Rubin
Right.
- [29:31]
Mike Posner
Even though my leg was. I don't know if you'd call it resting, but recovering. And so there were parts that were easy. I'll tell you what was hard, though. What was hard was when I started to get better, because when I got hurt, I got more famous than I'd ever been. So this thing that I realized years before, like, this chase for fame that I knew would never make me happy, but There was always a little thing in the back of the head going, well, maybe you just didn't get enough yet. Okay. So this, like, triggered this. This old story that I had started the whole project to get away from.
- [30:11]
Elizabeth Craft
Wow.
- [30:12]
Mike Posner
And so I'm sitting at home, and now I'm getting all this attention from not only mainstream news stations, Good Morning America, tmz, but also my friends and family are checking in on some kind of cyclical parade, like, coming into town, cooking for me. And Also, my Instagram DMs are now blowing up with not just the messages of, you know, random Instagram influencers, but the names of my heroes are noticing that I'm hurt and going, oh, you know, wishing you well. Feel better soon. And so I'm just getting this avalanche of attention.
- [30:51]
Gretchen Rubin
Ironic.
- [30:52]
Mike Posner
And there was a. There was a part of me that wanted to stay hurt because it thought when you're hurt, it made the association, when you're hurt, you get attention. And at that time, I still thought that attention equaled love. Attention does not equal love. In fact, it's like some, you know, demented facsimile of love. Right. And that was the hardest part, was going, hey, I'm better now. So am I going to go back to my old life or am I going to choose now? Knowing is one thing to start the journey, because you don't know how hard it is now. You know how hard it is.
- [31:32]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. Starting over is often harder than starting, for sure.
- [31:36]
Elizabeth Craft
It's harder to restart.
- [31:38]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah.
- [31:39]
Mike Posner
Your body is screaming at you every day. And it was inflection point in my life because I was either going to return to the old me of trying to get everyone to like me or living someone else's life. And I probably even maybe could like, still be on this podcast and have a cool story that ended with a snake bite, but I would know that I quit.
- [31:58]
Gretchen Rubin
Right.
- [31:59]
Mike Posner
And for me, it was. It was a no going back moment. It was, you're either gonna finish these 1,000 miles or you will never become the person you were, you know, you were meant to be. So I took my behind, even though I still had that voice in my head.
- [32:17]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah.
- [32:18]
Mike Posner
So what I teach, you know, people want the negative voices in their head to disappear. There's some fallacy that, like, their therapist or something has, like, no negative voices in their head. I don't believe that. I think sometimes it's okay that they never go away.
- [32:33]
Gretchen Rubin
Right.
- [32:34]
Mike Posner
But you learn which ones to listen to and which ones not to or when to listen to which.
- [32:39]
Gretchen Rubin
Right.
- [32:39]
Mike Posner
And this Is like, I think, a higher order of sovereignty. You know, it's like I have a warrior in me, I have a king in me, I have a lover in me, I have a magician in me, I have a sad, you know, six year old in me. And which one do I choose to be in the moment? Yeah, well, it depends on the moment. And the better I can match those, the better I interact with life. So I choose to go back and I started taking steps and I just kept taking steps until I ran out of land.
- [33:12]
Gretchen Rubin
There you go. You ran out of land. So, Mike, one final question that we ask all of our guests. Do you have a try this at home suggestion? You know, something in their ordinary lives that people can do to be happier, healthier, more productive or more creative. Got any suggestions? This is right up your alley. I'm sure you've got a million ideas. What's one you'd suggest so many?
- [33:31]
Mike Posner
The one that I'll choose. The one that's made the biggest difference most recently for me.
- [33:36]
Gretchen Rubin
Good.
- [33:37]
Mike Posner
Which was six, seven months ago. I started every Sunday and not missing having one to two hours blocked off simply to celebrate everything I've accomplished prior seven days. Okay, this is not a planning session. This is not. This is celebrating, is not assessment of where you are in the go. No, it's just celebrating what you did. And people make the mistake of only celebrating what they did in the work part of their life. No, no, no. Celebrate the work part. But celebrate what you did in your family, what you did in your relationship, what you did in your spiritual growth, what you did in your friendships, what you did in your physical vitality, what you did in your giving back. All of these areas, you know, are important. And so you should celebrate like you took time to FaceTime your mother or your grandmother or your great aunt. Give yourself credit. You did it, you know, you went on a walk or you saw the sunset or a 10 minute walk. Give yourself credit for that 10 minute walk. You will be blown away when you look at this list at the end of seven days and go, holy crap, I am so successful in so many areas. And is there room to grow? Yes. But we have to celebrate our success, to have momentum to grow with. If we're just beating ourselves up, oh, we didn't do this. It's very hard to, to build on that.
- [35:05]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah.
- [35:06]
Mike Posner
So two hours a week and you know, life changes. So sometimes you might do it on a Monday instead of whatever, but once a week, two hours to just celebrate.
- [35:15]
Gretchen Rubin
That's great. It's not the to do. It's the ta da.
- [35:18]
Mike Posner
Yeah. And you know, sometimes what I do is I'll put it in a. I don't know if it's like logging all these. It's going to use it against me one day. But I'll put it into ChatGPT and I'll say, read it back to me. And it starts reading back and I lean back, I'll put some music on and I'd let it just tell me how much I did.
- [35:35]
Gretchen Rubin
Oh, that's great.
- [35:36]
Mike Posner
I listen to it like a podcast.
- [35:37]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. Excellent. That's great. Well, thank you so much, Mike. It's been great to talk to you.
- [35:44]
Elizabeth Craft
Thanks, Mike.
- [35:45]
Mike Posner
You too. Thank you guys for what you do. Thank you, Chuck. Yeah. God bless you guys. Happy New Year.
- [35:49]
Gretchen Rubin
Happy New Year.
- [35:50]
Elizabeth Craft
Coming up, Gretchen has a demerit related to something that's still bugging her.
- [35:55]
D
But.
- [35:56]
Elizabeth Craft
But first, this break.
- [36:06]
Gretchen Rubin
This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts, and exclusive Audible originals that'll inspire and motivate you. Just open the app and tap into your well being with advice and insight from leading influencers, experts and professionals. Whatever your focus or interest, there's a listen for it on Audible. You'll find titles on better health, including personal fitness, nutrition and relaxation.
- [36:34]
Elizabeth Craft
Here, ways to improve your relationships both in your work and personal life, or how to embark on a new career strategy. If you want to overhaul your financial life or hear smart talk about investing for your future, you'll find that too. Ultimately, it's all about starting good habits. Making a positive change is the best resolution you can make for yourself, and Audible can help. There's so much opportunity and more to imagine when you listen. Let Audible help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at.
- [37:11]
D
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- [38:23]
Elizabeth Craft
Okay, Gretch, we're back with demerits and gold stars. What is your demerit this week?
- [38:27]
Gretchen Rubin
Okay, so you know, for my 25 for 25 list, I've making this big push to watercolor every day in 2025 and so far so good. I'm loving that. But you'll remember in 2024, I had the same aim and I had that really bad watercolor teacher. I mean really bad.
- [38:45]
Elizabeth Craft
Yeah.
- [38:46]
Gretchen Rubin
And okay, so here's the demerit. I'm still letting her annoy me. I'm still thinking about what I think she should have done better. Why am I learning things from this online video that she should have explained in the first class? And it's like, why am I letting her take up so much room in my head? Move on. She was a perfectly nice person. She was a very bad teacher, but she was a perfectly nice person. I'm gonna go for it. I'll have an amazing experience in watercolor. Why am I thinking about her so much? That is the demerit. It's just unnecessary aggravation that I'm bringing on myself.
- [39:22]
Elizabeth Craft
She's living rent free in your head, as they say.
- [39:25]
Gretchen Rubin
I never really understood what that meant until this experience. That is exactly it.
- [39:30]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, I'm guessing it has something to do with the anxiety you have around the water coloring and whether you will follow through on doing it.
- [39:40]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [39:40]
Elizabeth Craft
And somehow your anxiety has attached to her.
- [39:43]
Gretchen Rubin
Yes.
- [39:43]
Elizabeth Craft
But maybe now that you've said it out loud, expressed it, you can let it go at its best.
- [39:48]
Gretchen Rubin
That's what the demerit does. It either like gets you to step up or it gets you to let go. So I'm hoping that this is the last that I will ever say or think because I'm moving on. I'm having a wonderful time with watercolor. That's all that matters. But Elizabeth, take us up. What's your gold star?
- [40:03]
Elizabeth Craft
Well, Gretchen, we mentioned the fires in California at the top of the show and I mentioned the firefighters and the first responders but once again, I just want to give a huge gold star to everyone who's helping, all of the volunteers who are running, you know, evacuation centers, to all the people opening their homes, to all of the power workers, you know, who also have a lot on their hands. Big gold star to everybody. It's really a hard time in Los Angeles and people are stepping up. So gold stars all around.
- [40:36]
Gretchen Rubin
Yeah. It's so extraordinarily challenging and to see so many people stepping up to that challenge. So gold star. A million millions and millions. So much appreciation for all the hard work and dangerous work that they do.
- [40:51]
Elizabeth Craft
Yes. And of course, our heart goes out to everyone who's impacted by this. Yeah.
- [40:56]
Gretchen Rubin
Oh, my gosh. Yes. The resource for this week, if you are doing read 25 and 25, and we hope that you are, you can get some journals or tools to help you continue your reading routine@happiercast.com shop. If you love a journal, there's a lot of good options for tracking celebrating your reading. You might like the Don't Break the Chain journal. You might like the One Sentence journal. You might like the Memento Keepsake. There are different approaches to how a person might want to memorialize or track the read 25 and 25. And speaking of reading in 2025, Elizabeth, what are you reading?
- [41:32]
Elizabeth Craft
I am reading Dinner for Vampires by Bethany Joy Lenz.
- [41:36]
Gretchen Rubin
And I'm reading Talk to Me by Rich Benjamin. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Work on your grip strength. Let us know if you tried it and how it's working for you.
- [41:48]
Elizabeth Craft
Thanks to our guest, Mike Posner. Thanks thanks to Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.
- [41:53]
Gretchen Rubin
And you know what to do, rate, review, follow. And if you like the show, let others know.
- [42:00]
Elizabeth Craft
Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.
- [42:03]
Gretchen Rubin
And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward. So Elizabeth, do Nacho and Daisy seem aware of the fires? I know sometimes dogs or other animals can be aware of natural phenomenon. Do they seem aware that there's something going on?
- [42:29]
Elizabeth Craft
Not really. But they do bark when there's a big wind gust. They pick up on that and will.
- [42:35]
Gretchen Rubin
Start barking because, like, the palm trees are rattling or is whipping around. Interesting. From the Onward project.
- [42:52]
E
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