Ep. 528: Improve Your Hedonic Forecasting, Hacks for Reading More, and Mystery Revealed (Name of New Dog)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happier with Gretchen Rubin – Episode 528

Title: Improve Your Hedonic Forecasting, Hacks for Reading More, and Mystery Revealed (Name of New Dog)
Release Date: April 2, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft
Description: Gretchen Rubin, renowned for her works on happiness and good habits, teams up with her sister Elizabeth Craft to explore practical strategies for enhancing well-being. In this episode, they delve into hedonic forecasting, share effective reading habits, and reveal the name of Gretchen’s new dog.

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Introduction

Gretchen Rubin welcomes listeners to Episode 528 of Happier with Gretchen Rubin, introducing the main topics: improving hedonic forecasting, reading hacks, and revealing the new dog's name. Gretchen also updates listeners on her latest book, Secrets of Adulthood, and her ongoing tour across various states ([02:03]).

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Understanding and Improving Hedonic Forecasting

Definition and Importance

Gretchen introduces hedonic forecasting—the process of predicting how future events will impact our happiness. She explains, “Hedonic forecasting, or sometimes called effective forecasting, is when we in life try to predict how happy a specific activity or turn of events will make us” ([02:56]).

Common Pitfalls

1. Overestimation of Positive Events:
   “We often overestimate how happy we will become from a positive event, like we’re going to buy a house” ([03:01]).

2. Underestimation of Adaptation:
   “We underestimate our ability to adapt to negative outcomes, like you don’t get a job that you applied for that you really wanted” ([03:01]).

3. Single-Factor Focus:
   “We often place too much weight on a single factor in the future instead of realizing many things are happening in our life all at once” ([03:01]).

Strategies to Improve Hedonic Forecasting

1. Ask Others:
   “One of the best ways to predict how much you will enjoy a future event is to ask other people who are actually experiencing that event right now” ([04:44]).

2. Question Assumptions:
   Challenge exaggerated emotions about future events. Gretchen shares personal anecdotes, such as fears around her daughter Eleanor going to college, emphasizing uncertainty ([06:12]).

3. Remember Adaptation:
   Highlighting human resilience, Gretchen notes, “People are very, very resilient” ([06:32]).

4. Pre-Feel the Future:
   “Try to imagine not just the event but the day-to-day reality that comes with it” ([07:30]). For example, choosing a school close to home significantly impacts daily happiness.

5. Reflect on Past Experiences:
   “Once you’re actually driving, you’ll feel better than you think you will” ([08:40]).

6. Consider Opportunity Costs:
   “Whenever we choose one path, we must forego other paths” ([10:56]). Recognizing that no decision is entirely regret-free can alleviate pressure.

Notable Quotes:

• “We often overestimate how happy we will become from a positive event... And we underestimate our ability to adapt to negative outcomes.” – Gretchen Rubin ([03:01])
• “Whenever we choose one path, we must forego other paths.” – Gretchen Rubin ([10:56])

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Hacks for Reading More and Better

Guest Appearance: Sarah Gelman

Gretchen and Elizabeth are joined by Sarah Gelman, host of Sarah Selects book club, who shares her strategies for cultivating a robust reading habit ([18:32]).

Sarah’s Reading Strategies:

1. Treat Reading as a Habit:
   “If you want to start reading more, you need to approach it like you would any other habit, like an exercise routine” ([18:46]).

2. Maintain a Running List:
   Keeping a digital list of books to read ensures there’s always something available. Sarah categorizes her lists (e.g., Vacation Reads) for easy access ([18:46]).

3. Visual Piles:
   Having a stack of books visibly present serves as a constant reminder and motivation to read ([18:46]).

4. Goodreads Challenge:
   “I am religious about sticking to it... it shows your progress throughout the year” ([20:35]).

5. Dedicated Reading Spots:
   Creating inviting reading environments enhances the reading experience for both adults and children ([20:33]).

6. Utilize Technology:
   Features like Kindle’s time remaining in a chapter help manage reading sessions effectively ([20:35]).

Encouraging Children to Read:

Sarah emphasizes involving children in creating their reading spaces to foster enthusiasm: “I ask them, what do you want here that would make this feel good for you?” ([22:09]).

Handling Unenjoyable Books:

“You should not struggle through a book. It just means it’s not for you” ([25:31]). Sarah advocates for moving on to books that genuinely interest the reader.

Balancing Reading with Life:

Despite a busy schedule as a single mom, Sarah integrates reading through dedicated times and rewards, ensuring it remains enjoyable without overwhelming other responsibilities ([26:37]).

Notable Quotes:

• “If you want to start reading more, you need to approach it like you would any other habit, like an exercise routine.” – Sarah Gelman ([18:46])
• “Don’t struggle through a book... it just means it’s not for you.” – Sarah Gelman ([25:31])

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Listener Question: Naming the New Dog

Towards the end of the episode, Gretchen and Elizabeth address a listener’s inquiry about naming Gretchen’s new dog. They explore various suggestions, noting a mix of food-inspired names like "Nacho" and "Taffy" and human-like names such as "Steve" and "Clementine." After extensive brainstorming, they settle on the name Taffy, blending both creative and personable elements ([30:10]).

Notable Quotes:

• “Ultimately, we decided on the name Taffy, which is both a food and a name” – Gretchen Rubin ([31:34])

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Demerits and Gold Stars

Elizabeth’s Demerit:
Elizabeth admits she hasn’t been making roasted vegetables due to laziness in preparation, highlighting the challenge of maintaining healthy habits ([34:14]).

Gretchen’s Gold Star:
Gretchen celebrates her success in not forcing herself to finish books she wasn’t enjoying, demonstrating self-awareness and the ability to prioritize personal satisfaction over inertia ([35:48]).

Notable Quotes:

• “By giving ourselves a demerit, a lot of times we spark better behavior” – Elizabeth Craft ([35:45])
• “I really do find it hard not to keep going out of inertia... But I just realized that I should let it go” – Gretchen Rubin ([36:34])

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Conclusion

Gretchen wraps up the episode by directing listeners to resources related to her book, Secrets of Adulthood, and promotes her ongoing tour for personal interactions ([36:45]). Both hosts share their current reading selections, further connecting with the audience ([37:12]).

Final Thoughts:

• Gretchen’s Book Resource: Visit happiercast.com/secrets for more information on Secrets of Adulthood.
• Tour Information: Secure tickets at happiercast.com/tour.
• Current Reads: Gretchen is reading Sun City by Tove Janssen, and Elizabeth is reading The Spy Coast by Tess Garrettson ([37:12]).

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Notable Quotes:

• “It’s rewarding to let go of books that aren’t right for you” – Gretchen Rubin ([35:48])
• “We have no wrong decision here because sometimes I think you can feel like, oh my gosh, I have to make the right decision” – Gretchen Rubin ([10:56])

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Key Takeaways:

• Hedonic Forecasting: Enhance decision-making by consulting others, questioning assumptions, and remembering human resilience.
• Reading Hacks: Establish reading as a habit, maintain organized lists, create inviting reading spaces, and don’t force through unenjoyable books.
• Personal Growth: Embrace self-awareness in habits, whether forming new ones or letting go of ineffective ones.

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This episode offers insightful strategies to predict happiness accurately and cultivate enriching reading habits, all while maintaining a personal and engaging tone that resonates with listeners seeking to enhance their well-being.

Transcript

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about how to become happier. This week we'll talk about how we can improve our hedonic forecasting. We'll explain what the heck that is, and we'll include hacks for reading more and better. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, secrets of adulthood, human nature. I'm in my little home office in New York City and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, I always love to hedonic forecast with you.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And Gretch, the feeling is mutual.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Before we jump in, one update. Secrets of adulthood just hit the shelves.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yay.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yay. Thank you. What a good sister. You can get your copy and learn more about the book by going to happiercast.com secrets and I am going on tour. I love to talk to readers and listeners on tour. I hope that many of you can join me along the way. This week I'm in Massachusetts, Missouri, Kentucky, Indiana, Oklahoma and California. So you can find tickets for these and future tour [e-mail] tour and Gretch.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I get to see you in California. I can't wait.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I know that's gonna be a highlight. I can't wait. So this week our try this at home suggestion is to take steps to improve your hedonic forecasting.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, so explain what in the world hedonic forecasting is.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay. So this is fancy phrase for something that we all face. So hedonic forecasting, or sometimes called effective forecasting, is when we in life try to predict how happy a specific activity or turn of events will make us. And this is important because obviously that is an element of how we make decisions. We think, well, is this going to make me happier? But unfortunately, we aren't very good at hedonic forecasting. We often overestimate how happy we will become from a positive event, like we're going to buy a house. And we underestimate our ability to adapt to negative outcomes, like, you don't get a job that you applied for that you really wanted. And we also often place too much weight on a single factor in the future instead of realizing many things are happening in our life all at once. And so whatever you're thinking about is happening in a broad context. And we forget that. We adjust to things. We adjust to news. It becomes part of our daily circumstances. You think, oh, I'd be ecstatic if I got that job. But then at a certain point, it's just your everyday job, right?

[Elizabeth Craft]

When you put it like that, Gretch, it does seem difficult to project.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right? And we often don't think about it consciously. We don't sit down and do it with a feeling, okay, time for some hedonic forecasting. We just have these vague impressions. If you're curious about this, Daniel Gilbert wrote a whole book called Stumbling on Happiness that really goes into the reasons why we tend not to be very good at doing hedonic forecasting. But the more interesting question, I think, what are some suggestions for dealing with it? Given that this is challenging for us to do, what are some ways that we can go about doing it?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. So one is ask others.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. So it turns out that one of the best ways to predict how much you will enjoy a future event is to ask other people who are actually experiencing that event right now. So don't ask people to reflect on their past because they might not have a very accurate recollection. You want to ask people who are doing it right now. So if you're thinking like, oh, maybe I'd like to work in a law firm, ask people who are associates and partners at law firms whether they like their jobs or if you're thinking about moving to Cincinnati, ask some people who live in Cincinnati how they like living there. And the underlying principle is that we tend to be more like other people than we assume. One of my secrets of adulthood is you're unique, just like everybody else. And it turns out you think we're more idiosyncratic than we are, and then.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Also you should be wary of imagining the future. But it does seem like this is what we're trying to do with hedonic forecasting. So it's a bit of a puzzler.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. But you do want to question the accuracy of what you assume. Like, are you exaggerating the emotional impact that a future event will have on you? And you should be skeptical and really press on scenarios that your mind creates about future happen and unhappiness. Keep all these things in mind. I remember when Eleanor was getting ready to go off to college. You know, it was like, oh, my gosh, it's so important that she gets along with her roommates. If she doesn't get along well with her roommates, then she'll have a terrible freshman year and her grades will suffer and she won't have a good experience in school. And it's like all of these things are not known.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I'm just making up all of these imaginative instances in the future. So I want to be skeptical. I don't know that all those things will happen.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. And, Gretchen, we also wanna remember that we have a remarkable ability to adapt to situations both good and bad. I think this is so interesting.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. It turns out people are very, very resilient. And we think, okay, this is gonna be devastating or this is gonna be catastrophic. And of course, not to dismiss the impact that negative things can have on us. But often we do adjust. Like, Elizabeth, you've talked about this in terms of getting fired, which, unfortunately for you, you work in a profession where you've had some experience with getting fire.

[Elizabeth Craft]

At first, it's just the most shocking thing and you're in a tailspin. But, yeah, after a few days, you're sort of like, okay, this is the reality. And you start automatically searching for the next thing. You start automatically going into recovery mode.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Unless you have experience, you don't realize that that will start happening for you.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But Gretch, I think also interesting in this is that you say you adapt to good situations, too. So that's the thing of your job. You get your dream job, and you're not on cloud nine for the rest of your life. You may be for two weeks.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, this is called the hedonic treadmill, which is that we sort of adjust to things and then we fall back. Another thing to think about is you can try to pre feel the future by imagining not just the event or the whatever in isolation, but really the day to Day reality that comes with it, which can give you a sort of more nuanced view about how an event or a decision might affect your happiness. And an example that comes to my mind is we ended up sending Eliza and Eleanor to a school that was within walking distance of our apartment. And 1,000% we did not give enough weight to that aspect of the school. Like, I thought it was sort of a mildly good thing. But in the pros and cons list, I did not at all understand how significant that would be to our day to day happiness and sort of the ease of our life and just feeling close to the school and how nice that was. But I think if I had really sat down and thought, okay, let me imagine myself, Eliza's a kindergartner. Let me imagine what our lives will be like in different scenarios. I think that that would have been pretty apparent to me. But I just never put myself through that exercise, and I think it would have been really valuable.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, that can be so helpful.

[Gretchen Rubin]

But along the same lines, we can try to remember how we actually felt during similar past events. Not just sort of imagining loosely how you felt, but really try to put yourself back in the mindset. And this is something that I've been using late because I've talked about it. I'm a fearful driver, and this is one of the things I want to work on is driving more and getting more calm about driving. But the funny thing is, when I'm actually driving, I'm much calmer than when I'm thinking about driving. And I keep reminding myself of that. Once you're actually driving, you'll feel better than you think you will. And so that helps me calm down. With Eliza and Eleanor, I remind them, you might be dreading, dreading, dreading an exam, but once the exam starts, you won't have any dread anymore. You'll just be so focused on the test that all your bad feelings will go away. I remember this with a bar exam. I was dreading it so passionately, and I'm like, I just want the exam to start because then I won't have this bad feeling anymore. I'll just be so busy trying to remember everything I learned about law.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. I think for going to the airport would be another one of these things where once you're actually at the airport and going through the motions, it's fine, but everyone dreads it so much.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, you just do one step after another and it's. Yeah, exactly. The final thing is just to remember that the way we feel about a future event is gonna be influenced by many things in our lives. Like, we can over focus on one thing, but many things will be happening all at once. And so that's just helpful. You know, sometimes I remind myself there's no wrong decision here because sometimes I think you can feel like, oh my gosh, I have to make the right decision. But for some decisions, there's no wrong decision. And so I can't anticipate that one is gonna make me dramatically more or less happy than any other, because they're all equally valid decisions. And here's another secret of adulthood that I think is helpful with hedonic forecasting. Whenever we choose one path, we must forego other paths. So any choice may bring unavoidable regret. And I remind myself of this because sometimes I think I want to make the decision that's going to mean that I will have no regret. But sometimes it's like if you pick an apple, you can't have an orange. If you have an orange, you can't have an apple. And so there is no regret free decision because you're always giving something up. And that's just comforting to me because I can get very hungry up on like, well, what's the decision that will mean I will have no regrets when such a thing doesn't exist.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Sometimes I think that's one of the toughest things in life to deal with, is that yes, making a choice means you're not making another choice and you will never know what would have happened. The mystery of what would have happened.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, it's opportunity cost. It's real. Well, let us know if you do try this at home and how improving your hedonic forecasting works for you. Let us know on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook. Drop us an [e-mail] or as always, you can go to the show notes. Go to happiercast.com 528 for everything related to this episode.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Coming up, we've got a task related happiness hack. But first, this break. All right, Gretchen. You know summer is coming and in California we're all about indoor outdoor living. And Adam, my husband, is totally responsible for the outdoors. And one thing he loves is to add more planters every year. And Wayfair is a great place to get planters or really anything. Wayfair has everything. It's kind of the best kept secret for home improvement. They have a huge selection and options for every budget so that you can get whatever you need.

[Gretchen Rubin]

There's something for every style in every home, no matter your space or budget. Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your spring home goals with endless inspiration for every space and budget. Whether you need a light refresh or a full room renovation or just more planters. Free and easy delivery. Even on the big stuff. Shop the best selection of home improvement online. Get renovating with wayfair. Head to wayfair.com right now. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style every home.

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

The program will improve your kids grades. Backed by research, kids using IXL are scoring higher on tests. It will work for any of your kids. One in four students in the US are learning with IXL. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and happier with Gretchen Rubin. Listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com happier visit ixl.com happier to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay Gretch, we are back with this week's Happiness Hack.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, this actually isn't a hack or I need help deciding how to decide which choice is the hack. Okay, so I'm going to describe a problem and what is the right solution to this problem. Do you know what I'm talking about when I talk about a task cascade? This happens to me sometimes where I'm like, I need to print something out, but now I'm out of paper. But then I realize I've used up all the paper so now I need to make a note to myself to buy more paper. And then I print that out. But then I realize, oh, I said yes to an invitation. But then I have a conflict so I have to move this thing. But then I realized if I move this thing then this thing also has to move so I have to let this person know and this person know and it just goes on and on and on. And so it's like I'm just jumping from task to task and Each one cascades into more and more and more tasks. And so here's my question. Is the hack to ride a task cascade and you just do the next step, and if you get pulled into a completely different set of tasks, you just ride that wave and just trust that at the end, eventually everything will get crossed off that list. Or do you stop a task cascade and you're like, okay, what I am doing now is dealing with this letter that I need to print and sign and put in an envelope and get a stamp and mail. And I am not gonna take any time to figure out how I'm gonna buy more printer paper down the road. Or do you just stay on task?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, I think for me, writing the task cascade would be better because I don't see myself stopping, making a note that I need paper and then going back to something. I see myself forgetting all about it and then really being in a pickle when I actually desperately need paper. So I think for me, I'd be much better off writing the task cascade and getting everything done rather than forgetting what it is I needed to do.

[Gretchen Rubin]

But it's unsettling because there's half finished tasks piling up behind you, and then there's more and more that's unfinished because they're all in that mid cascade. But I think you're right that you sort of just need to do the next step. I will say this. When it comes to clutter clearing, you know, outer order, inner calm, I read a lot of advice about clutter clearing and experimented with things. One thing that they would often say, which is analogous, which is sometimes when you're clearing clutter, okay, you want to put this book away on the shelf, but then you realize that you've got all this stuff on the shelf that doesn't belong there. So then you start putting away the stuff that's on the shelf. And then you try to put this sock in your sock drawer. And then you realize, wow, I need to go through my sock drawer. And so with clutter clearing, they say, don't do that because you'll get nowhere. And you might make things worse before they get better because you get all this stuff out and that it's better to be like, now I am putting away the books, and if I find things that need to be put away on the bookshelf, I will make a pile of those, and then I will deal with those as a separate thing. So with clutter clearing, which is physical items, the conventional wisdom is, do not get pulled into a task cascade. Stay on task that makes a lot of sense, but I don't know with things that are more abstract if it's the same.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It probably just depends, like everything on the person. What's best for one person is not necessarily best for another. I do think it's helpful just to have the term task cascade, because when you say it, I think we all get what it means means. So just the knowledge that you either are or are not writing the task cascade is helpful?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Because I think if you're in a task cascade, you have to keep many, many things in your mind simultaneously. It's like, don't interrupt me because I've got to remember all these eight things so that I can go back and do them. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe listeners. Do you have a suggestion? I imagine that they have experienced the task cascade.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Maybe it's to know yourself better. Are you somebody who rides a task cascade or somebod who needs to stop a task cascade?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Stay on task. Interesting question. And now we have a happier interview related to read 25 and 25. Elizabeth, I am loving this challenge so much. How about you?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I love it. It's amazing. I feel like it's life changing. Even though we've done it before, it feels even more potent this time around.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Absolutely. So to talk about hacks for reading more and reading better, we wanted to talk to Sarah Gelman. Sarah Gelman is someone who is obsess with reading as we are. She's had a long career helping to spread the word about books in various ways. And now, lucky for her, she's the host of Sarah Selects a book club where she recommends her favorite books to friends, family, and other book lovers.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, wow. That sounds like a dream job.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Yeah. Hello, Sarah.

[C]

Hi.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Hi. Well, let's jump into the topic of reading. What are your top hacks for getting more reading done?

[C]

So I think reading is a habit like anything else. And so if you want to start reading more, you need to approach it like you would any other habit, like an exercise routine, which I know most people are like, oh, exercise. But you need to schedule time to do it and then stick to that schedule and pretty soon it just falls into your day. So I read every night before I go to bed, and it's just I don't even think about it anymore. It's non negotiable for me. And I think for my job, I read more than most people do, so I have a lot of hacks to get it done. The first thing I do is I keep a running list in Notes app on my phone of books that I want to read or I have to read. And I constantly go in and I reorder them, and I also will label them and put them on different lists so I have a master list. And then if I do things like I was just on vacation last weekend, I will have another list that I call Vacation Reads. And I, you know, I'm like, okay, what do I want to read on vacation? And I put. I just put them in there so then you're never stuck. Like, I can't remember what I wanted to read next. Just keep them with you. And then I also keep a visual pile for my to be read list. I'm a big stacker. I think it goes with being a big reader. And I literally have a stack of books next to me, and I look at them and I get excited and I want to read what I'm reading faster. So I'm still enjoying what I'm reading, but I like to look at them. And then I'm also. I'm an upholder. And so I love the Goodreads challenge, and I am religious about sticking to it. So what I like about it is you set a goal for yourself, and then it actually shows you your progress throughout the year. So if your goal is, let's say 80 books and you've read 20 so far, it'll say you're five books ahead of schedule. And I love that it does that math for me so that I can kind of figure out, feel good, like, I'm getting to the place I want to be. I also have dedicated reading spots in my home. I have them for both me and my kids.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, that's a great idea.

[C]

It's just. It's a place that should delight you, that you want to be. It's a place that you're not looking at your laundry or your stacks of papers. Mine, I have a reading nook. And then I also am a big bed reader. So in my nook, it's beautiful. I have nice pillows. I have nice blankets. I have candles. And then I also. I use my Kindle a lot. And the Kindle has a feature where it tells you how long you either have in a chapter or in a book. And I love that feeling of reading a book. And I know digitally, a lot of people feel a little unmoored because it's like, what is the jacket? Where am I in this book? But it will tell you you have two hours and five minutes left. So if you're someone that said, okay, it's 9, 15. And I really want to be asleep by 10. You can read for 40 more minutes and then close your eyes. Or if you're on an airplane, you know, like I could get this book done during the airplane ride. And then when I am actually reading, if I'm on my Kindle, I often switch the background from the white background to the black background. So Kindles are, they're not backlit, they're front lit. Which means that that light that you get from like another tablet isn't going to disturb. The Kindle doesn't have that. And I have little kids, they often end up in my bed. And so I will read with the black setting or if you're sleeping next to a partner, the glow of even that front lit light will not keep them awake if you switch it from black to white. So that's another thing that I do.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I think a lot of people want to encourage their children to read. What have you done to your children's reading nooks to try to make them feel enticed into reading? I think people would be curious to hear.

[C]

Well, I have little cozy chairs for both of them. And then I really, I ask them like, what do you want here that would make this feel good for you? So is it a kind of light or something like that? One of my kids graduated, he's 8 years old now, and he went from his little bookshelf to like a real full size bookshelf. And now my 6 year old said, I want a big bookshelf too. So I think just that's exciting to them to have this new big bookshelf, have their books display. They also have toys on there, but they really get excited about it and they see that I love reading too. And every night of their life we have read together. It's just what we do.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, I remember like having chapter books and feeling so proud when I was reading a book that only had words and didn't have pictures, I felt so mature. I was probably like understood Betsy or something like that.

[C]

We do with my younger kid we pick three picture books and he gets to pick them and he gets to pick the order we read them in. He's like many six year old boys, a bit of a control freak. And so he feels a sense of control before he goes to bed. And then with my older son, we read chapter books together and there are amazing chapter books out there now that speak to everything from neurodiversity to bullying. I mean, I'm blown away. So I just reordered the Judy Blume Super Fudge series and have it downstairs for my kids.

[Gretchen Rubin]

We just talked to Judy Blume.

[C]

Yes, I know. I love her and I love that I'm still buying her books for my kids. But also they love things like Diary of a Wimpy Kid is a favorite in my house, so they love that too. And that's not one that was out when I was younger.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. And Sarah, what products do you have that help you read? Do you have a great reading light or a book weight?

[C]

Yes, I have a great reading light. This is actually something I bought for my dad because my dad said to me, you know, dads are so hard to buy presents for. And it was the holiday season. He said, what I really need is a good reading light. So I set about this task, like, so seriously. And what I got him is one of those gooseneck lights that fits around your neck. And they're inexpensive. They're probably $15. And I bought him one. And it hangs around your neck. Super geeky looking, but it works. And it shines directly on a physical book that you might have in your lap in bed or while you're sitting in a chair. And so he loved it so much, I bought myself one. And then my kids saw it and they each wanted one themselves, too. So this is, I call it like, you know, when you're a little kid and you're reading under your covers, holding the flashlight up, this is the equivalent of that, but it's better now. So I love that. I also have one of these. These tablet pillows that I use in bed. Again, I'm a big bed reader, and so I like to lay on my side. I prop my Kindle up. And if you could use a physical book and then use your book weight and it holds it open so your hands free, basically, and your hands can lie wherever they want. So I also love that. And then not so much reading. But I love cookbooks. And I use a cookbook holder when I'm cooking. And there are very beautiful ones. Mine is not beautiful. It's utilitarian. It's Oxo brand. It has a splash screen. So if you even put a tablet underneath it, if you're cooking from a recipe that's online, it keeps the tablet clean. I personally love a little splatter on my cookbooks. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right.

[Gretchen Rubin]

A little bit of soul. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay. So here's a question that many people argue about or have trouble with. Do you put down a book unfinished if you don't enjoy it now, maybe you have to finish something. But if you're reading for pleasure, do you find it hard to not finish a book?

[C]

Absolutely not. I put it down if I don't like it. I try to give it about. You do chapters or 10. I want to make sure I'm giving it a chance. But life is too short to read books that you don't want to read. It's just going to make you hate them. So, yeah, this is supposed to be fun. So if you're reading something, you have my permission, my blanket permission to put it down. You should not struggle through a book. And honestly, I mean, you say if I have to read a book for work, I am recommending books to customers. If I don't like it, I'm not going to recommend it. I don't think that's fair. And not everyone has my taste. Taste. But I am recommending from my taste. So, yes, don't read a book if you don't love it. There are other amazing books out there.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It really is true that you read so much more when you like what you're reading. And if you're trying to force yourself through, you just find other things to do with your time.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes. This is supposed to be fun. So just read something. And it also doesn't mean it's a bad book or it's a good book and you're stupid. It just means it's not for you.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right, Right. Well, for you personally, what gets in the way of reading more for fun? You said you schedule time before bed, so you've carved out time. It sounds like you read while you're traveling.

[C]

Honestly, it's just time. When I get to spend a couple hours during my workday reading for work, I am so happy. And every single time, without fail, I think, God, I love this so much. I wish I could do this every day. But I can't because there are other parts of my job that don't involve sitting down and reading. I'm a single mom to two young kids. I try not to just sit around them and read, although we do read together. And that's it. You just have other things in life. I love walking my dogs, and I do not like to listen to audiobooks while I'm doing it. I like listening to the birds. I like talking to my neighbors. I made a ton of friends doing that. And I think for me, if I were to walk around with a headset, I wouldn't have the chance to meet all these people I've met in my neighborhood with My dogs. And I also like music a lot too. So in the car I listen to music. I don't listen to audiobooks and I love television as well. People get so surprised when I talk about how much I love tv, but I love stories and so there are so many good stories on tv and just because of where the television is in my house, I tend to not watch TV on weeknights because it's close to my kids bedrooms and they will wake up and then I will need to do something else else. So during the weeknights I will just read, but on the weekends I watch tv and when I'm flying, whenever I'm traveling for work, I go to New York every month and on the way there I read for work. That's a solid five hours of reading, which is great. And on the way back I am tired. My energy has gone up and then crashed all the way down and I let myself watch shows and that is a treat for myself that I look forward to. I do a trip across the country in under 24 hours. And so that is my reward. And I love reading. It's not that reading isn't a reward, but just getting lost in a show is so fun for me too.

[Gretchen Rubin]

No, it's good. It's like understand how it plugs into your life and other things that you want to do, but make time for it.

[C]

Just because you love something doesn't mean you want to do it all the time.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Yeah. Well, finally, Sarah, do you have a try this at home suggestion? Something that you would recommend to listeners is something to make them happier, healthier, more productive or more creative.

[C]

I do. I thought a lot about this and what I came up with is something that I literally use every single day. So I'm divorced and the one thing my husband and I, ex husband, have a great relationship. I will say, but the one thing I really miss is that every day he brought me coffee in bed. And when he moved out I was like, oh darn, I think I'm really gonna miss that coffee. And so to get over that, I got an Alexa enabled coffee maker. And so every morning I wake up and I either whisper or I say, alexa, turn on the coffee. And the magical coffee machine just turns itself on. And so by the time I get myself downstairs, the coffee is brewed. Both my dogs and my kids know not to bother me until I've had a cup of coffee. So I get my first cup, I still have to go down and get it, bring it back to bed. And that has made me so much happier. Every morning I just have it. It makes it for me, and it feels like someone is doing it, and I absolutely love that.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, that's wonderful.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Great idea.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Elizabeth and I drink a lot of coffee, especially when we're together. Oh, my God.

[C]

It's the best.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. The magical coffee machine. That's wonderful. Well, thank you, Sarah. It's so much fun to talk about reading and bringing more reading into our lives. Thank you. Thank you.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Thanks, Sarah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Wow. It's so fun to talk about reading. I feel like we can talk about reading all day long. But now it's time for a listener question and an answer.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, many listeners have asked what name you're gonna give to your new dog, Gretchen, and we got a lot of suggestions.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I asked, what's your favorite dog's name? So this is the list of names that got more than two votes. And Elizabeth, I have to say that I was surprised by some of the names that appeared on this list.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, I can't wait.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Apparently, one is D, O, G, which is basically dog, but spelled out so it sounds like Diogee, which I thought was very creative. That's cute. Meatball, Biscuit, Blueberry. These are all food names, which is interesting, but they're cute.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, we have Nacho. That's a food name.

[Gretchen Rubin]

There you have Nacho.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Then there's Bob, which is the opposite of a food name. That's like the most human name.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Bruce.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Similar.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Clementine.

[Gretchen Rubin]

This was a name that I kind of wanted to use for Eleanor because out of one studying Winston Churchill, but Jamie was like, no, he did not want Clementine. But I do love that name.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Elvis.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, that's funny. Kevin, Steve and Walter. Those are very human names.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, those fall into the human name category.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, you're either Biscuit or Steve.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Steve is funny. And so, Gretch, have you decided?

[Gretchen Rubin]

So Eliza and Eleanor really battled it out amongst themselves. There was extensive brainstorming, workshopping, negotiation, which is exactly what happened with Barnaby. And they have come up with the name Taffy.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, Taffy. That's cute.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So which is both a food and a name. So there's both of those things. But, you know, our mother suggested Dolly, which I thought was a very cute name. But we are deeply committed to Taffy.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, so mom won't get this one. Maybe if Adam and I get another dog down the road, it'll be a Dolly. All right, Gretch. Coming up, I give myself a dinner related demerits. But first, this break for the new year. Why not expand your life by listening on Audible. I listen to Audible every single day of my life. It is one of my great joys in Life. Explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts and exclusive Audible originals all in one easy app. Tap into your well being with titles that will inspire and motivate you. You can find insight and expert advice on health, relationships, career, finance and so much more.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right now I'm listening to an audiobook by Dan Pink that I love called the Power of Regret and it is just giving me so many ideas and I love that I can listen to it on the go. I love listening and learning just while I'm out and about. So start positive habits and reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today. Sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com Happier vacation season is.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Nearly upon us this year I'm treating myself to the luxe upgrades I deserve with Quince's high quality travel essentials at fair prices. Gretch, you know I love Quince Quince. My latest love from Quince is the Transit quilted small crossbody tote. I always feel like when I travel I want a fresh tote to mark the occasion.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, and the best part is that all Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quintessential. Go to Quince.com Gretchen for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Gretchen to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Gretchen and now it's time for demerits and gold stars. And Elizabeth, this is an even numbered episode, which means it's your turn to talk about a demerit.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay Gretch, I haven't eating demerits. I have not been eating roasted vegetables lately. So I went through a period where I was making a lot of roasted vegetables. That's how I like my vegetables. I would cut them up, I'd put them in the oven. We actually even now have an air fryer which in theory makes it easier to make roasted vegetables.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Jamie loves the air fryer.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. And you know what? I have just been too lazy to cut up vegetables. It's that simple. I mean, I was in the grocery store the other day and I thought I really should get some vegetables and make roasted vegetables I love them. And then I was like, eh, I don't feel like chopping.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So it's the chopping that is the limiting factor.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. And I need to do it because I want to eat more vegetables and I love them. It's not even like I don't like them. I absolutely love them. So by hoping, by stating it that I'll be motivated to do it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

You went away and then you didn't do it when you came back, or do you know? Or you got overwhelmed?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I don't remember.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay. How many times a week were you doing it when you were doing it?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Probably two.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay.

[Elizabeth Craft]

All right. Maybe three.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I mean, I was doing it a lot. I was eating a lot of roasted vegetables. Maybe I got sick of them for a minute, and then I got out of the habit, and now it's been a long time, so craving them again.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, well, this is the thing. By giving ourselves a demerit, a lot of times we spark better behavior. So you'll have to report back.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, I'll report back. And what is your gold star, Gretchen?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, well, speaking of reading, I stopped reading not one, not two, but three books that I had started, and one I was halfway through, and it was a very long book. And sometimes you go. You're in a cycle where every book that you read is great, and you're like, this is the greatest thing. And then you kind of go through, at least for me. Then sometimes I get into the lull where I have a couple books in a row that I don't like. And so this was three books in a row. So of course I was like, well, maybe I don't like reading anymore. And it was like, no, you like reading fine. You just don't like these three. So I give myself a gold star, though, because I really do find it hard not to just keep going more out of inertia or, like, wanting to get credit for it. Like, oh, I already read half. I should read the other half to get credit. But it was a really long book.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. This would be a major time commitment.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I just realized that I should just let it go. And so I was very proud that I did it three times.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Way to go, Gretch. That's not easy. I understand.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Well, the resource for this week, again, if you are interested in buying my book, Secrets of Adulthood, or you want to read a little bit about it, learn about it, get a personalized book plate, go to happiercast.com secrets and if you want to know about the tour, I would love to see so many people when I'm on tour. You can find out all the information [e-mail] tour and speaking of reading, Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading? Reading.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I'm reading the Spy coast by Tess Garrettson.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I am reading Sun City by Tove Janssen. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Work on your hedonic forecasting. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Thank you to Sara Gelman for getting us excited about reading. Thanks to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So rate us, review us, follow us, and remember, if the show brightens your day, send others our way.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.

[C]

So we have food names for our dogs, too. We have Pesto, who ironically, is white, so we call him Pesto Bianco. And then Toblerone Toby we call him, but he's like a chocolate bar. So Toblerone.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, those are cute.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's really fun.

[C]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

From the Onward project.