Ep. 554: Take the Trip, Get Something Valuable for Free, and Listeners Talk about Their “One Big Thing”

Summary

Happier with Gretchen Rubin: Episode 554 Summary

Take the Trip, Get Something Valuable for Free, and Listeners Talk About Their “One Big Thing”
Published: October 1, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Gretchen Rubin and her co-host (and sister) Elizabeth Craft encourage listeners to intentionally invite novelty and adventure into their lives, with a central message: “Take the Trip.” They explore practical strategies for pursuing happiness, highlight the importance of investing energy and resources in what truly matters, and share powerful listener stories about tackling life’s "one big thing." The sisters also reveal a clever happiness hack involving local libraries and wrap up with their traditional demerits and gold stars.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is”: Listener Updates (03:04–05:54)

• Gretchen and Elizabeth share updates from listeners who have aligned their spending with their values, emphasizing that small investments can catalyze positive changes in personal growth, fitness, and social connection.
  • Dog Training as Investment: Rachel’s story of continuing her dog’s training, even after passing major certifications, illustrates how investing in structured activities reinforces habits and strengthens the bond with pets.
  • Budgeting for Hospitality: Listener Jessica created a separate budget for entertaining to overcome the dual barriers of cost and cooking confidence. By earmarking funds for socializing, Jessica and her husband deepened friendships and brought hospitality back into their lives.
    • Quote (Gretchen, 04:36): “When we recognize that we aren't living according to our values, we can intentionally invest our money there so our hearts will follow.”
  • Personal Training Commitment: Meg’s choice to pay for personalized gym training led to increased motivation and variety in her workouts, demonstrating that financial commitment can foster follow-through on goals.

2. Main Theme: “Take the Trip” (06:17–13:13)

• The “Try This at Home” segment is inspired by a shirt Elizabeth’s mother’s pedicurist wore: “Take the Trip.”
• Key Message: Regrets tend to come from not taking trips, not from going. Any excursion—big or small, near or far—adds richness and novelty to life.
  • Defining “Trip”: Gretchen clarifies that “trip” doesn’t mean only elaborate vacations: it can be a day trip to a local park or a weekend getaway.
    • Quote (Gretchen, 06:44): “Take the trip is to make the time, take the energy to intentionally go someplace new and interesting and add that element back into your life.”
  • Planning Across a Year: Rather than spontaneous trips, think annually and purposefully plan different types of journeys—adventurous, restful, friendship-based.
  • One-Night Vacations: Elizabeth reports that even a one-night getaway to Santa Barbara felt like a full escape. Gretchen adds that research shows novelty and challenge slow our perception of time and create more vivid memories.
    • Quote (Gretchen, 10:13): “If you want time to slow down and feel rich and you want to do something that's new and challenging...taking a trip, however big or small, is a way to do that.”
  • Seasonal Suitability: Gretchen recounts a misfit trip to Napa with a five-month-old baby, underscoring the need to match trips to your current “season of life.”
  • Regret vs. Memory: Both hosts agree that even flawed or inconvenient trips often become cherished memories, and the trips skipped become regrets.

3. Happiness Hack: Get Something Valuable for Free—Library Subscriptions (16:09–17:57)

• Gretchen introduces the week’s happiness hack: many public libraries provide free digital subscriptions to major newspapers and other resources, in addition to books, puzzles, and even equipment.
  • Quote (Gretchen, 16:52): “If there's something that you want in your life, the first place you go is to the library...Libraries are just extraordinary resources.”
  • Elizabeth and Gretchen emphasize how easy it is to sign up for a library card and the breadth of digital resources available.
    • Memorable Moment: Elizabeth boasts that joining Libby (an ebook app) “changed my life.”

4. Listener Segment: Tackling “The One Big Thing” (18:02–24:02)

• Revisiting a previous challenge, Gretchen and Elizabeth read listener responses about facing their “one big thing”—the difficult tasks holding them back from greater happiness.
  • Divorce, Downsizing, and Adventure: Wendy describes how handling divorce, selling her home, and going nomadic brought transformation and fulfillment.
    • Quote (Wendy, read by Elizabeth, 18:52): “These are the things that have made all the difference. These are the things that have led to a richer, more fulfilling life.”
  • Healthcare Procrastination: An anonymous listener uses the podcast as a catalyst to schedule a long-deferred doctor’s appointment, showing how tiny logistical hurdles block bigger goals.
    • Quote (Anonymous, read by Gretchen, 19:52): “I figured out what my biggest practical stumbling block was to scheduling...With his availability written down, I called my doctor this morning and scheduled the appointment.”
  • Dental Work Avoidance: Kate admits to delaying dental procedures, then books her appointment thanks to the episode’s nudge.
  • Time Will Pass Anyway: Kathy shares her go-to motivational phrase to overcome procrastination: “The time will pass anyway.”
    • Dear Abby Reference: Elizabeth recalls Abby’s advice, “Do you want to be a doctor at 40 or not be a doctor? You’re going to be 40 regardless.”
  • Big Relationship Ultimatum: Helen recounts making a life-altering ultimatum to her boyfriend; after standing firm, she celebrates a 50-year anniversary.

5. Demerits & Gold Stars (26:48–32:47)

Demerit: Delaying a Podiatrist Appointment

• Elizabeth’s Demerit: She confesses to putting off a needed doctor’s visit for her toe after her podiatrist retired, citing indecision over finding a new one as her main barrier.
  • Quote (Elizabeth, 27:40): “I have this other name. So I just need to make a decision and either go to the new person or find somebody else in the valley. And I haven't. I'm just frozen.”
• Gretchen’s Guidance: Gretchen “happiness bullies” Elizabeth to ask around for new doctor recommendations and points out that the first step is just getting a referral.
• Memorable Moment: Gretchen reminds Elizabeth of a time a podiatrist simply recommended new shoes, instantly solving a chronic problem.

Gold Star: People Who Work at Odd Hours

• Gretchen gives a gold star to all those who work late at night or early morning shifts, noting how their presence keeps places like airports and New York City running smoothly and feeling safe at all hours.
  • Quote (Gretchen, 32:41): “They do so much hard work in the world. They all deserve a big gold star.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On regret and trips:
  Elizabeth: "We've often regretted trips we haven't taken, but we've never regretted a trip that we did take." (06:33)
• On time perception:
  Gretchen: "Novelty and challenge slow time...If you want time to slow down and feel rich...taking a trip...is a way to do that." (10:13)
• On libraries as resources:
  Gretchen: "If there's something that you want in your life, the first place you go is to the library and see if they have it on loan." (16:52)
• On motivation:
  Kathy (listener): “The time will pass anyway.” (22:16)
• On confronting difficult life choices:
  Helen (listener): “Am I glad I did that one big hard thing. This June, we celebrated our 50th anniversary.” (23:42)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Listener Updates: “Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is” — 03:04–05:54
• Try This at Home: Take the Trip — 06:17–13:13
• Happiness Hack: Library Subscriptions — 16:09–17:57
• Listener Answers: The One Big Thing — 18:02–24:02
• Demerit: Delaying Doctor’s Visit — 26:48–30:37
• Gold Star: Off-Hours Workers — 30:41–32:47

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Resources & Recurring Themes

• Planning for Happiness: Both big actions (like trips or tackling a long-standing issue) and small tweaks (like leveraging library perks) are celebrated as pathways to richer, more joyful living.
• Listeners as Inspiration: The inclusion of diverse listener stories emphasizes community wisdom and mutual encouragement.
• Practical Habits: The episode is rich with actionable strategies, like budgeting for priorities and chunking intimidating tasks.

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Final Thoughts

The episode is an uplifting, pragmatic nudge to seize opportunities for adventure, face down procrastination on personal goals, and never underestimate the humble library’s power to enrich your life. Listeners are left with a challenge: schedule a trip—any trip—and consider what one big thing they could tackle for greater happiness this year.

“Take the trip. Even if it’s just across town, make memories.” (Paraphrased theme, 13:13)

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For more details, listener stories, and links:
Visit the show notes at happiercast.com/554

Transcript

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, it has 3D surround cameras with Clearsight Ground view that let you see underneath the vehicle and anticipate obstacles in rough terrain. Clearsight Rear View offers an unobstructed rear view even when you can't see through the back window. Driver aid technologies make driving and parking simpler. Intuitive driver displays are customizable to your journey. Design your Defender 110 at LandRoverUSA.com Visit Land RoverUSA.com to learn more about the Defender 110. Explore the Defender [e-mail] when our dogs thrive, we thrive too. Prioritizing their health means more joyful moments together, whether it's with walks, play or just having them close by. I have a new puppy, Taffy, and along with our dog Barnaby, they make us so happy. Now with us. Humans taking small, consistent daily actions to keep us healthy are so important to our happiness. And that's important for our dogs too. That's why we love Get Joy's Freeze Dried Raw Dog Food Get Joy's Freeze Dried Raw Dog Food is made with real whole food ingredients like 100% USDA sourced beef or chicken, pumpkin for digestion, salmon oil for their skin and coat. Plus it includes bellybiotic blend with pre, pro and postbiotics for gut health and.

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

Hello and welcome to Happier a podcast where we talk about ways to make our lives happier, healthier, more productive and more creative. This week we'll talk about why we should take the trip and we'll share listeners thought provoking answers about the one big thing they tackled. I'm Gretchen Rubin, writer who studies happiness. Good habits here. Human Nature Secrets of Adulthood Joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister Elizabeth Craft.

[Elizabeth Craft]

My sister the sage, that's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And Gretch, you definitely make me Wiser. So thank you.

[Gretchen Rubin]

But before we jump in, we got this interesting update from Rachel about our discussion of putting your money where your mouth is.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, Rachel said. I recently did this with dog training. Even though my dog passed his therapy, dog assessment and canine Good Citizenship certification in the spring, I signed up for training classes this summer. He has mastered the basics, but the classes gave us new skills to practice and the time set apart to do it. I found a program where I could pay for classes individually so I could go during the summer when I had more time. It was a great refresher of his training that I probably wouldn't have done on my own at home.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So I love that. That's so fun. Yeah, it's a way to amplify it. And then this comes to us from North Platte, Nebraska, which, of course is where our grandparents lived, where spent many, many happy summers in North Platte, Nebraska. From Jessica, she wrote. Years ago, my husband and I realized we had gotten out of the habit of having people over for dinner. Hospitality is an important value to us, and we discussed why we hadn't been practicing this. We landed on two barriers, the expense of having people over and my lack of confidence in cooking. Our solution was to create a budget category specifically for hospitality, designating funds that could only be used for the purpose of entertaining. It gave us freedom to spontaneously invite people to join us at the park with their dog dogs for a bucket of fried chicken, or to come to our home for pizza delivery. We didn't have to worry about where the money was coming from or stress about the meal planning. And we are grateful for all the friendships we have formed and deepened through sharing meals together. Jesus taught this put your money where your mouth is principle when he said, where your treasure is, there your heart will be. Also, when we recognize that we aren't living according to our values, we can intentionally invest our money there so our hearts will follow. Very beautifully put.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Thank you, Jessica. And then Gretch, Meg said. A few months ago, I joined a gym to get my fitness goals back on track. I belonged to a gym many years ago. I know I don't enjoy group classes and that I often get bored with using the same machines and doing the same routine. So I asked about the gym's personal training service and started working with a trainer each week, even though it was an additional cost. So this has helped me in many ways. I have a weekly appointment, and if all else fails, at least I go to the gym for that appointment. I have learned new exercises and become familiar with new to me equipment. Both are catered to my fitness level and challenge me to meet my goals. And my trainer emails me a record of my weekly sessions so I can go through those exercises again between appointments. The routine changes each week, which keeps me motivated and interested in working out. I spent extra money on the personal trainer, but working with her has been instrumental in helping me get back on track with my fitness goals. It has helped me put my money where my mouth is in my desire to gain back personal fitness.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I love all these examples. It's so helpful to think about it in this way.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So helpful.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And before we jump in, remember we will be discussing the memoir all the Way to the river, the Memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert in an upcoming episode. It is a super compelling page turner. So send us your questions and your insights. We will be talking to her soon.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. I can't wait.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So this week our try this at home suggestion is to take the trip. And Elizabeth explain where we got the inspiration for Take the trip.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, recently our mom was getting a pedicure and her pedicurist was wearing a shirt that said take the trip. And she told us that. And we were talking about how we've often regretted trips we haven't taken, but we've never regretted a trip that we did take.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And of course, when we say a trip, this does not need to be a trip around the world or a super ambitious trip. This can be you're driving a few hours to visit a little town you've never seen. Or maybe you're driving across town to go to a park you've never visited before. It's like, take the trip is to make the time, take the energy to intentionally go someplace new and interesting and add that element back into your life.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, well, sometimes it is a big trip. Like the biggest trip that I regret not taking was my friend Todd got married at a chateau in France, a famous Chate chateau. And I just didn't go because, you know, I was young, I didn't have money, didn't feel that I had the time. But looking back, I said to him the other day, I'm like, I should have done whatever it took to be there because that would have been the memory of a lifetime. Now I regret it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, that's one of the things about trips is they take time, they take energy, they take planning. Sometimes it feels like it's so much work to unpeel yourself from your regular life that you're like, oh my gosh, I'll just stay here and save myself all the work. But then take the trip. And you know, this is my new mom mantra for myself, which is scheduling is life. If something's important to me, I should schedule it. I should make the effort to put it on the schedule because that is how I'll have the life I want is by putting it on the schedule. But it can be tricky. And one thing that I think can be useful if you're planning on trips is instead of thinking of trips maybe as one off or presenting to you in the short term, should I do it this weekend or should I do it this month? Step back, think of your year as a whole, and then say to yourself, do I want to take one big adventurous trip this year? If so, then when? If I want to go to Kansas City once a quarter, when would that be? And stop. Because I think there's a tendency, at least for me to kind of measure everything and how it fits into my current planning horizon instead of stepping back and saying like, well, if I want the whole year, if I want to have one big adventurous trip, and then maybe one like reading retreat where it's very relaxing and not very demanding, and I want to go to my hometown and maybe I want to go on a trip to see some friends and we've been saying for years we want to go to see Niagara Falls, how would that look? Because it's a different way of planning when you have a longer time horizon.

[Elizabeth Craft]

One thing I've learned recently, Gretchen and I've talked about this is to take a one night trip. Or you can think of it as a one night vacation, depending on what kind of trip it is. But we, a few months ago just went to Santa Barbara for one night and I tell you, I felt like I'd been gone for days.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's surprising how little time it takes to make an adventure, to feel like you've really had a break. And I think that's an excellent point because sometimes, again, it feels so burdensome to figure out how to get yourself unplugged. It's just very tempting not to do it at all. And so, yeah, maybe just say, well, if it's too much to be gone for five nights, let's be gone for one night. Even spending a day, a day trip someplace sometimes. Because one of the things that research shows is that novelty and challenge slow time. This is one of the disadvantages of habits. I love habits. I love a life filled with habits. But the more habits you follow, the more predictable your life is, the faster it goes. It speeds up your perception of time, speeds up when every day is basically the same and when year after year is basically the same. And so if you want time to slow down and feel rich and you want to do something that's new and challenging and often taking a trip, there's new things you have to figure out how to navigate in a place that's unfamiliar. You're often specifically doing something like going to a museum or seeing friends or doing something where you're doing something unusual and particularly interesting or engaging. And so that slows time. I remember some friends of mine said that he and his wife felt like time was flying by, and then they had a baby. And then he's like, time stopped and like, move forward in a crawl, but in a good way. Like, they like that. They liked feeling that life was slower and more rich. And I think we want to feel like our lives are full of interest and that when we look back at the end of the year, it feels like a lot happened. And taking a trip, however big or small, is a way to do that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. That's one thing that's fun about being in television is often it involves taking a trip for work. And definitely those times stand out among all the other times. Now, I'd love to shoot in la, don't get me wrong, but when I have to go somewhere, it does add a lot to the experience.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Now, even in, like, my perception of your time, there was the Hungary period, there was the Puerto Rico period. Those times really stand out as significant chapters in a way that other work that you did doesn't even in my mind, which is sort of funny. Yes. But here's something that I would say as a trip, and this is just a hack. I learned the wrong way. Think about your season of life. So I remember when Eliza was first born. So here are Jamie and I, you know, new parents, and we had planned to take a trip to Napa, which we are not big wine drinkers. So why we decided to go to Napa, I have no idea. It doesn't really make sense for us. But anyway, we sort of just heard that we should go, so we went. I think Eliza was like five months old. This is a terrible trip to take with a five month old. We had to fly from New York City to San Francisco, which is a very long flight. Then we had to rent a car and drive from San Francisco up to Napa, which was a couple of hours. And then we were at a place where it's all about wine tasting.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Right.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I remember looking at Jamie in the car and being like, what were we thinking, well, we just didn't know enough to realize that the season of life for us had changed dramatically. So when you're planning your trip, I do think you want to say, what does this really mean? Or like, you love to bring your dogs, Elizabeth. And so now it's like, that's a fun thing to think about. Does a place take dogs? Obviously you want to figure that out in advance. You don't want to show up with two corgis and find out, oh, by the way, we have a policy against that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So you want to think about season of life and like, what would work for you for the travel? Do you want adventure? Do you like a lot of exercise? Do you like to be a spectator? How fast paced do you want to be? There's all different kinds of considerations. But the thing is, I think you're right. It's the trips we don't take that we regret. Even that trip to Napa, I look back on it very fondly. Mishaps often make the best memories. We had many mishaps on that trip. I remember them fondly.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So there you go. Take the trip.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Take the trip. So let us know if you do try this at home and how taking the trip works for you and what trips have you taken or not taken and how did that affect your happiness? Let us know on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook. Drop us an [e-mail] or as always, you can go to the show notes this is happiercast.com554 for everything related to this episode.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Coming up, we've got a happiness hack that's something valuable you can get for free. But first, this break.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So we know a lot of you listening out there work in healthcare and wellness. So first of all, because you probably do not hear this enough, thank you. Second of all, if you don't already know about figs, it's time. Figs make super thoughtfully designed scrubs in high quality, innovative materials that are antimicrobial and wrinkle resistant, but still super soft and breathable. They're designed with the details of the job in mind, whether it's a scrub top with a special stethoscope pocket or outerwear that's both lightweight and super warm because the office or hospital AC is never not on full blast.

[Elizabeth Craft]

They're also so cute. Figs come in a huge range of flattering styles made for every body type and elevated classic colors like black, gray and blue. But there's also always some fun new seasonal color drop happening. Figs are the scrubs, in other words. And if you're a healthcare professional, or if you know someone who is right now, when you use the code FIGS RX, you get 15% off your first purchase. Just go to wherefigs.com and enter figsrx at checkout. There's something about a love story that takes your breath away. Not because it's perfect, but because it's impossible. Imagine finding the person you were meant to be with in the very place designed to destroy you. Imagine choosing love when everything around you is hate. Everything designed to strip away hope. That's not just romance. That's survival. That's destiny. That's exactly what you'll feel watching Artist at War. The film opens September 26th, and you can visit Baomovie.com to see the trailers.

[Gretchen Rubin]

If you were moved by Schindler's List or even the bittersweet hope in Jojo Rabbit, you'll understand why Bao is different. This isn't just about what was lost. It's about what was found. Artist at War tells the remarkable true story of Joseph Bau, a brilliant artist and master forger who risked everything to help others survive. Artist at War opens September 26th. Visit baomovie.com to watch the trailer and learn more or sign up your organization for a group screening. Again, that's Baumovie.com.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, Gretch, what is this week's Happiness Hack?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, this is something that I just learned. And you know, we say over and over, libraries are amazing. You can get audiobooks rented through your library. You can get camping equipment. You can get puzzles. You can get science games for your kids. You have to go to your local library and see what's on offer. But it's often extraordinarily surprising what you can get from your local library. Okay, I just found out that you can get a digital subscription to a newspaper through your library. So if you're a person who wants to subscribe to a newspaper, you can get that through your library. Now, I think the mechanics of that are slightly different depending on your library and how the system works, but I had no idea that if you wanted to just subscribe to a newspaper, you could get it through your library card. Frankly, somebody told me that, and I was like, really? And so I looked it up. Yes, you can. It's amazing.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, I had no idea, Gretchen. I had no idea.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, I think basically, if there's something that you want in your life, the first place you go is to the library and see if they have it on loan. Because Libraries are just extraordinary resources, and I think a lot of people, they just have kind of their school library in mind, and they don't realize how much is available to them.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And you can usually find these resources on your library's website by looking for digital resources or something similarly named.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And obviously need your library card.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Which you can usually get online, too. The whole thing. But didn't you get a library card in like 15 seconds or something? Elizabeth, you figured it out.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. When I joined Libby, it could not have been easier. Changed my life.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

You know, our parents still check out actual books from the library all the time. It's such a good resource.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So do I. In my library, you can see how many books you've checked out, and I'm almost at 3,000, so I'm very excited about that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Wow.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I know I haven't read all of them, but I've checked them out.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It's the thought that counts.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And now for listener answers. So in episode 550, our very special episode, we talked about tackling the one big thing, because we often talk about hacks and tips and strategies, but sometimes, if we want to make our lives truly happier, there is one big thing that we need to tackle that is going to make a difference. And often that one big thing is very difficult or very distressing or extremely laborious, so it can be hard to tackle it. So we encourage listeners to think about it. And we asked to hear some people's experiences with tackling that one big thing, and we got some really interesting answers.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Wendy said, what a wise episode. It was relevant and specific. And although I have been listening since the beginning and always get value from your podcast, this one is a standout. Well, thank you, Wendy.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Thank you, Wendy.

[Elizabeth Craft]

She said, I have done the hard things, gotten divorced, taken the reins of a family business and selling my house and keeping only what would fit in a 10x10 storage unit so that I could live nomadically and travel the world. These things were hard, and the process took time. It would have been so much easier to just glide through life. But these are the things that have made all the difference. These are the things that have led to a richer, more fulfilling life. You and Elizabeth gave such a great array of specific examples. I would think nearly every listener recognized at least one that was directly relevant.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And that's a great example, I think, Elizabeth, you pointed out, think about your future self. And this is a great example. Like, here she is from the future saying, I'm really glad that I did those things because they really got me where I wanted to be. Now, somebody who wanted to be Anonymous wrote. I had been putting off scheduling a serious doctor's appointment, and this episode was exactly the push I needed. Well, see, that is what we wanted the episode to be. We wanted to be the push you needed. So that's great. I figured out what my biggest practical stumbling block was to scheduling, needing to know when my husband would be available to watch the kids, and addressed that last night. With his availability written down, I called my doctor this morning and scheduled the appointment. Many thanks and gold stars to both of you. See, that's a great example how sometimes a relatively small thing can actually prevent us from doing a big thing. And now it's done.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And so now the tracks are laid.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, she saw what her barrier to entry was and she tackled it. Yeah, Kate said. How funny that just two days before the One Big Hard Thing episode, I decided to tackle extremely annoying dental work. I am an adult with wisdom teeth that need to be removed as well as some crown work. These are all in my back teeth, out of sight. Invisibly. I have a nice smile. This is truly the definition of something that can be done at any time, happens at no time. And I have every excuse in the book. I'm a mom of small children and there is no good time for hours and days of dental work and surgery. I was planning to kick this can down the road until they were at sleepaway camp many years away. But there's a possibility of my teeth developing real issues and it turning into a painful emergency situation. This week I put one appointment on the books and was completely dragging my feet on making the bigger appointment until I heard the podcast. I know I'll be happier when this is done. My goal is to have the whole process done by the end of the year. Boy, we've all been there with dental work. I have. And it is so true that it only gets worse. It doesn't get better. So get it done now.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, and there's a lot of things where you can do the painful work of scheduling it and dealing with it on your own terms, or you can wait and it becomes an emergency that will inevitably happen at the worst possible moment. Like this often happens with car maintenance things. You delay, you delay, you delay and then it's a serious issue at exactly the wrong time. Yeah, Kathy said. The advice I love to use to motivate myself with these big tasks is the time will pass anyway. Oftentimes we put off the big tasks as it will take too long, but the Time will pass anyway. 5 years to pay down debt. The time will pass anyway. One year to complete a course. The time will pass anyway. I know that many people find this a useful thing to think about.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. One of the most impactful, like Dear Abby letters I ever read was someone who at a certain age wanted to be a doctor and said, but at this age, I won't all be fooled. 40 by the time I'm actually a doctor. And Abby said, well, do you want to be a doctor at 40 or not be a doctor? You're going to be 40 regardless.

[Gretchen Rubin]

You're going to be 40 regardless. Exactly. That's such a good example. To illustrate that point, Corinne said, thank.

[Elizabeth Craft]

You for your tenderness and compassion with this topic. I know my big hard thing, and now I'm going to tackle it one bite at a time.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, the one bite at a time, step by step. Helen said, I'd like to share that one big hard thing I did. In the mid-1970s, I was living with my boyfriend. We'd been together for four years. At that time, living together wasn't common. People thought it immoral or bold. My family believed I was going to hell. As our fourth year approached, my boyfriend was content with the status quo. I no longer was. I loved him very much, but couldn't go on simply living together. I had to make an ultimatum. Either we get married or I'd leave. He wasn't an ultimatum kind of guy. And at that time, I had no job, no money, no family nearby, and was unfamiliar with Los Angeles where we moved. I didn't want to return to my family in here. I told you so. Still, I gave the ultimatum. Am I glad I did that one big hard thing. This June, we celebrated our 50th anniversary. There you go.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Love that, Helen. Thanks, everybody for writing in. Those are really interesting and thought provoking.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, and keep them coming because I would love to hear even more. I think it's so interesting to hear and I think it's really encouraging for other people because these are the one hard things. And sometimes hearing somebody else's experience can really help us move forward ourselves to do that hard thing.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, we heard about needing a doctor's appointment. And coming up, Gretchen, I give myself a demerit for not having made a doctor doctor's appointment. But first, this break.

[Gretchen Rubin]

When our dogs thrive, we thrive too. Prioritizing their health means more joyful moments together, whether it's with walks, play, or just having them close by. I have a new puppy, Taffy, and along with our dog barnaby they make us so happy now with us Humans taking small, consistent daily actions to keep us healthy are so important to our happiness. And that's important for our dogs too. That's why we love Get Joy's Freeze Dried Raw Dog Food Get Joy's Freeze Dried Raw Dog Food is made with real whole food ingredients like 100% USDA sourced beef or chicken, pumpkin for digestion, salmon oil for their skin and coat. Plus it includes bellybiotic blend with pre, pro and postbiotics for gut health and.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It'S great for a busy lifestyle. Just scoop and serve, no thawing or prep needed. Plus it's pantry friendly, no freezer space required. Save 30% on your first order plus receive a free scoop and free bag of treats $33 in value. Visit getjoyfood.com happier this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. So Gretch, October 10th is World Mental Health Day and this year we are saying thank you therapists. You know how much I appreciate therapists in my own life. Therapy has made such a huge difference. When I was a young aspiring television writer and thinking I might quit because it was too hard, my therapist really talked me through it and I wouldn't have my career today without her.

[Gretchen Rubin]

BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can find the right person to help you focus on your therapy goals. If you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who have helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] GretchenRubin that's betterhelp.com GretchenRubin okay, it is time for demerits and gold stars and this is an even numbered episode, which means that it is Elizabeth's turn to reveal her demerit. And Elizabeth, you have foreshadowed that you have some doctor related demerit. So what is this doctor related demerit?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, Gretchen, I need. It's not very glamorous, but I need to go to the podiatrist. Okay, I have a toe that is bothering me and we've gotten past the point where I just think, okay, if you know, it'll go away in a few days. So I definitively need to go to the podiatrist. Now. I can tell you I know what my kind of barrier to entry is on this, which is that the podiatrist I went to retired. Oh, and she was in the valley. And the only name I have of another podiatrist is in Beverly Hills, which is a long drive. So I'm sort of like, well, I really should try to find someone in the valley because it'll be easier. But I have this other name. So I just need to make a decision and either go to the new person or find somebody else in the valley. And I haven't. I'm just frozen.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Can I be a happiness bully for you for a minute, please? I think that you should try to get somebody nearby. It's just so much easier to do something nearby. So maybe the thing that you need to say is, here are 10 people, and we all know the people who are like, I got a guy for that. I know the person for that. I got a recommendation. There are certain people, maybe they're doctors or they're somehow in a world where they would probably be more likely to have names to recommend to you and reach out and say, do you have somebody to recommend? Because have you asked around widely to see if you could get a recommendation?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I haven't asked anybody.

[Gretchen Rubin]

See, so that's the thing I would ask. Because if somebody emailed you and was like, oh, my gosh, I'm so glad you asked. I have the greatest person and she's in Tarzana or whatever, you would do it very quickly. And that may not happen. Maybe you won't get a great recommendation, but you have a backup plan. But you might as well ask around. But it's effortful to be like, well, who's the kind of person who would know and who lives nearby and blah, blah, blah, and let me copy paste the same message over and over. It's a nuisance, but then in the end, it'll save you so much time and effort if you find that person near to you. Well, no.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And it's funny because toes are the kind of thing where they're just nag at you and you can sort of deal with it. But we know that if you're walking weird, favoring something, it can impact the other leg. It can really be a problem. So you really do want to make sure your feet are exactly as they need to be.

[Gretchen Rubin]

You have a lot of back problems, but it turns out it was really with your foot. But, Elizabeth, as further encouragement, I want to remind you of an extremely joyful encounter that you had, which is when you were having all that foot pain and you went in and you thought, okay, Here I'm embarking on this lifetime of dealing with foot pain, and it turns out you just needed a different kind of tennis shoe, and you got it. And then all your problems were solved, and it was the magic solution, and easy peasy, remember?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Which is why I am such a believer in podiatrists. But that is the person who unfortunately retired. So she was so great.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So, yes, I need to find a new person.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Did you ask if that person has any more recommendations that might be closer to you?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I haven't done a thing.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, well, start with her, because she might.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I mean, yeah, I'll start with her office, but I don't mean. There's no. I don't even know how I would start with that person.

[Gretchen Rubin]

No, I get it. It's unfortunate that that doctor is retired. But the good news is you have the pleasant associations of. Sometimes you're just like, oh, every time I do this, it's a very unpleasant situation. At least that time you got an easy answer. So that's.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I certainly would rather have to do this than get my wisdom teeth out. Which I did when I was in my 20s.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So, yes, so did I.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It's just now that I've said it out loud. Gretchen.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yep.

[Elizabeth Craft]

This is my accountability now. I need to make my appointment on the immediate to do list.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's good. And on the immediate to do list is just to get a recommendation. So you're not even going to the doctor, you're just getting a recommendation. Okay, well, I want you to report back. Everybody's on the edge of their seat about your toe. Okay?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Okay. Gretch, what is your gold star this week?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, my gold star goes to all those people out there who go to work at a hard time of day or night, early, early morning or late, late at night. And I was thinking about this because I often take the first flight out if I'm traveling. I just like to do that. I like to get to the airport and get it done. They often say that you're less likely to run into canceled or delayed flights. Often the plane is already in the airport. And so allegedly, they say that's a good time to fly. And the funny thing is, even though I've done this many times, when I see that I have a flight that's departing at. At 6am or so, I had this idea, like, I always do this when I leave Kansas City. When we were there most recently, I took the 6am flight out, and in my mind, I'm gonna arrive at this airport that I'M the only person there. There's nobody there. It's just this empty wasteland. Cause it's so early in the morning. But of course it's thronged with people. It's packed with other people that are flying. But for the people flying, we do that very irregularly. But they're the people who show up there day after day after day. And they are on it, dressed, ready, smiling on their jobs incredibly early. And then, you know, I live in New York City and what's funny about New York City is I think a lot of people feel like it's dangerous. But if you're used to New York City, you feel much safer in New York City than you do in other cities because there's always people around. Taffy had some digestion issues and so I had to get up and take her outside at 2:30 in the morning. There were people there. There's safe, pleasant activity happening. And these are people often going to work, coming from work or doing. There was a whole crew working on underground, I don't know, electricity, some kind of cables. You know, they were like working under the street. Clearly they were doing in the middle of the night so that it wouldn't interfere with traffic. But here was a whole team of people working away in deepest night. And I thought that is a hard job. So I just want to say gold star to people who work. It's hard to be off sunup to sundown routine. It's hard on the body, it's hard in life. And they do so much hard work in the world. They all deserve a big gold star.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, gold star. And I agree about New York. I feel safer in New York than anywhere else in the world for sure.

[Gretchen Rubin]

People who've never been there are like, ooh, it's so dangerous. And like, no, come walk around. It really feels. Yeah. Cause there's like the 24 hour corner stores open. You're like, if you get scared, just run in there and buy yourself a pack of chewing gum and make conversation with the person behind the counter. You'll feel better.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, no, there's always people out and about.

[Gretchen Rubin]

There's always people out and about. Okay, the resource for this week. So very exciting episode two of my new podcast. My other podcast, Elizabeth. You've had two podcasts for a long time because you've had happier in Hollywood. But now I have two too. Since youe Asked with Lori Gottlieb. Episode two Just Dropped. It is an advice podcast, but we try to put a lot of spins on traditional advice. There's some that are just sort of classic. Somebody asks a question and we give advice, but then there's, there's all kinds of responses and polls and we try to really make it fresh and we would love for people to give it a listen rate, review if you like it. That really helps people discover the show. If you follow it or subscribe, that also really helps the show, especially a new show.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah. So you can just search in your podcast app for since youe Asked. Subscribe, Follow Gretch. I love the polls. I'm loving hearing, oh get it, 34% of people would do this, 15% of people would do that. It's just, just interesting. It is to hear people kind of weigh in in that way.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, and it's fun because we try to pick the kinds of things that are like ordinary things that people have extremely strong opinions about, but a lot of people disagree. So it's fun to try to think of what the poll should be about as well. Yeah. And if you follow us on social media, you can see the polls because we put them up every week or so. So. Yeah. So I'm Retchenrubin and it's Lori Gottlieb, author with an underscore there somewhere. Very easy to find. So we're having a great time. So, Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading, Gretch?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I am catching up on War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. I got a few days behind and.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I am reading Swimming Studies by Leanne Shafton. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Take the trip. Let us know if you've tried it and if it worked for you or maybe now you're going to to plan a trip. Let us know.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Thanks to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada. And if you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, remember that you can listen completely ad free. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or go to lemonadapremium.com and here's your rhyming reminder.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's true for since you asked and it's true for happier. If you like the show, tell someone. You know, word of mouth really is the best.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward, Elizabeth. I think for us planning the trip, taking the trip is, I think the reading retreat just has to be on the yearly calendar because we could do it at many different times depending on like your schedule and my schedule. It fits in very nicely, but I do feel like that's a trip that we will really enjoy taking.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh yeah, no that's every year for sure. And last time it was two nights. But maybe it's a three night trip every year.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I think that is right. Three nights. One night would be good. Three nights is I think best from the onward Project.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Hi Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here. We host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes. What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of midst of major life transitions?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for I Am O with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever you get podcast, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success, Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.