Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Episode 558: Have “One Big Thing” Holding You Back? Listeners Weigh In. Plus the Value of Making Space
Release Date: October 29, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft

Episode Overview

In this episode, Gretchen and Elizabeth dive into two core topics: the practical and psychological value of making space to put things away, and listener stories about tackling "one big thing" that's been holding them back. The show features personal anecdotes, actionable suggestions, and a range of heartfelt, listener-submitted experiences that highlight how facing a major challenge can lead to long-term happiness. The episode maintains the warm, candid, and motivational tone that fans expect from the Happier podcast.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Updates & Community Connections

• Migraine Medication Success:
  • [03:57] Elizabeth responds to a listener query about her husband's successful treatment of chronic migraines. She details that the medication, Ajovy (an at-home monthly injection), has been “life changing,” reducing Adam’s migraines from “many, many, many migraines every month…down to…fewer than two a month.”
• Friendship Organization:
  • [05:01] Gretchen shares a listener’s strategy for fighting loneliness: maintaining a “spreadsheet of friends” to keep track and proactively reach out. She addresses the seeming artificiality of it:
    • “Sometimes people think that friendships should be easy and spontaneous, but it takes time and energy and effort. And with a little bit of organization and planning, it can make it a lot easier to keep those bonds strong.”
• Book Challenge:
  • [06:15] A listener thanks the hosts for the “25 in 25” reading challenge, which reignited their passion for reading:
    • “This challenge has completely renewed my joy and passion for reading...I’ve already exceeded my original 25 book goal, currently at 37.”

2. Try This at Home: Make Space to Put Things Away

[07:17 – 13:41]

• Gretchen’s Filing Problem:
  • Gretchen describes her overcrowded file boxes for her daughters’ school memorabilia. The takeaway: when you physically lack space, you’re less likely to put things away.
  • Solution: “What I need is more room. These file boxes are full.” She adds one for college years, making the system work again.
• Practical Examples:
  • Coat closet overwhelm: If the closet’s too full, nobody bothers to hang up coats.
  • Elizabeth adds, “You can clear out space or actually create new space,” such as by adding shelves or cabinets.
• Clutter Management Tips:
  • Gretchen advocates for starting with decluttering, then organizing.
  • Cluttered spaces make it harder to know or use what you have, often leading to overbuying:
    • “If a space is really crowded, it is a good cue to…make sense of whether you really want to keep everything that’s there.”
• Beware the "Dump Zones":
  • Basements, attics, or garages often become places to delay tough decisions.
    • “We just stick it in the basement...and then that stuff just grows and grows.”
• Creating Dedicated Spaces:
  • Elizabeth shares how adding a dining room cabinet for tableware “was life changing…Now I know that’s where the placemats are, that’s where candles are.”
• Caution on Organizational Gizmos:
  • Gretchen warns not to buy organizing furniture just to keep more stuff:
    • “Be honest with yourself about is this something you really, really want to keep?”

Memorable Quote:

“If you make space to put something away, you’re much more likely to put it away.”
— Gretchen Rubin [08:54]

3. Happiness Hack: Mindful Duplication

[17:14 – 20:47]

• The Value of Duplicates:
  • Sometimes it pays to have more than one of essentials—if “mindfully chosen.”
• Podcasting Example:
  • Elizabeth: “You and I have been doing the podcast for 10 years…always carrying microphones back and forth to Kansas City. I finally said…I'm going to order a good microphone and send it to Kansas City and just keep it there.”
    • Gretchen follows with, “Why did this take us so long, Elizabeth? This should have been something we did year two.”
• Everyday Life:
  • Multiple chargers, multiple scissors: Keeping them in the right places is “very handy.”
• Listener/Family Inspiration:
  • Their mother found putting scissors in the library “thrilling”—she used them constantly afterward.
• Advice for Underbuyers:
  • Gretchen notes, “Are there places you can get duplicates? … Sometimes we resist these [solutions], but they really do make life easier.”

Memorable Quote:

“Pay attention. Are there places you can get duplicates?... In many cases, it’s these little things that really give us a boost.”
— Elizabeth Craft [20:38]

4. Listener Stories: Tackling One Big Thing

[20:49 – 32:00]

A central segment where listeners share “one big thing” they conquered—actions that were difficult but transformative.

Academic Milestones:

• Susan: Finishing her dissertation with little guidance; motivated by envisioning graduation.
  • “I imagined myself in the ceremony wearing the robe with my mother, brother and kids there.” [21:46]
• Shauna: Overcoming procrastination by “starting with the end in mind” and mapping deadlines backward.
• Rachel: Achieving national board certification as a teacher; her advice: “Back map the thing. Envision the final product…and break it down, write it on the calendar.” [26:01]
• Marcy: Finishing a book, one early morning writing session at a time:
  • “Several years ago my mantra was joy in the process. And I really do love the process.” [28:23]

Personal & Emotional Turning Points:

• David: Rehoming his dog for its benefit:
  • “Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is admit you aren’t the best person for the job.” [22:59]
• Erica: Finally addressing decades-long anxiety through therapy and medication:
  • “The regret I have, which I hope others can learn from, is that I didn’t start medication 20 years ago when the suffering first started. You know what they say, the best time to start an SSRI is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” [25:57]
• Jorge: Leaving the priesthood after 20 years to pursue happiness and authenticity.
  • “I guess the advice that got me through it was to not be afraid of being a beginner again.” [28:40]
• Lauren: Overcoming serious illness, earning a GED, then a master’s degree: persistence and determination.

Family & Relationship Decisions:

• Maya: Placing her son in a residential treatment center for addiction, prioritizing his life over his approval.
  • “Saving his life is more important than him liking me. Right now.” [29:03]
• CM: Choosing to rebuild, not end, a struggling marriage:
  • “The happiness I have now is proof that not all endings need to be endings.” [30:19]
• Keisha: Pressing charges against her brother for theft, leading to his recovery and improved relationship:
  • “He thanked me last month…He said I saved his life by not saving him. When you love someone, sometimes you have to let them fail.” [31:18]

Hosts’ Reflections:

• “I could read these all day long. I love hearing what people have accomplished with their one big thing.” — Gretchen [31:54]

5. Special Segment: Bodily Autonomy and Storytelling (with Alice Ackerman)

[32:16 – 35:04]

• Gretchen underscores the limits of agency—how some life situations are beyond our control.
• Introduction to IPPF (International Planned Parenthood Federation) and guest Alice Ackerman.
• Alice’s Message:
  • “What connects all human beings is our bodies…Sexual and repetitive dignity is the foundation of a free life. It means having the power to make decisions about your body without fear, stigma or barriers.” [33:28]

6. Demerits & Gold Stars

[35:04 – 38:07]

• Demerit (Elizabeth):
  • Neglecting responsibility of cleaning up after the family dogs; hopes public acknowledgment will spur her to change.
• Gold Star (Gretchen to Elizabeth):
  • Elizabeth’s experience with foot pain and shoe advice led Gretchen to try a new brand (Brooks), which solved her toe problem.
    • “My problem got solved because of your problem. So I wanted to give you a gold star. And I guess I should give a gold star to your podiatrist.” [38:00]

7. Resources, Reading, and Closing

[38:07 – end]

• Release of the new “bingo book” which gamifies goals and habits.
• Recommended reading:
  • Elizabeth: They All Came to Barney’s by Gene Pressman
  • Gretchen: The White Stone by Esther Dewal
• Reminder: Try making space to put things away and share your experience.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you make space to put something away, you’re much more likely to put it away.”
  — Gretchen Rubin [08:54]
• “Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is admit you aren’t the best person for the job.”
  — David (Listener) [22:59]
• “You do daunting well. It was one of the best compliments I have ever received.”
  — Laura (Listener) [27:04]
• “The happiness I have now is proof that not all endings need to be endings.”
  — CM (Listener) [30:19]
• “He said I saved his life by not saving him. When you love someone, sometimes you have to let them fail.”
  — Keisha (Listener) [31:18]

Important Timestamps

• Listener Updates: [03:57]
• Try This at Home - Make Space: [07:17]
• Happiness Hack - Get Duplicates: [17:14]
• One Big Thing Listener Stories: [20:49]
• IPPF Segment: [32:16]
• Demerits & Gold Stars: [35:04]
• Resources/Closing: [38:07]

Tone & Style

The episode is warmly conversational, motivational, and solution-focused. Gretchen and Elizabeth continually highlight how practical changes (from decluttering to mental health support) can directly improve happiness, while also acknowledging that some of life’s biggest challenges require vulnerability, courage, and letting go of assumptions. Listener stories are honored with empathy and celebration.

This summary covers all the key themes, advice, memorable anecdotes, and listener contributions from Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Episode 558—a must-listen for those seeking practical and inspiring ways to tackle both the small and big obstacles to happiness.