A (3:11)

Yes, Laura said, thank you for your tip recently regarding up to date medication list. As a family physician, I really appreciate when people do this. If you end up at the hospital away from home, your doctors will thank you. Or a reminder though, to include medications that aren't pills like injections, creams, inhalers, patches on the list. It is also good to include any vitamins and supplements.

B (3:35)

This is so obvious, but I have to say I was so focused on the pill of it all that I forgot. Of course there's many different forms that medications and such like can take. And then Evelyn said, you wouldn't believe how often patients coming to see the doctor have no idea what medicines they take. Your medication sheet is a great idea. I also take a picture of this sheet with your phone so you always have it with you in case you end up in the hospital unexpectedly. If you can also write a description of the pill, like red with the number 86 on it, for example, that can help in case something happens like a medicine gets dropped on the floor, et cetera. Well, this is true. Like you'll find a random pill and you'll be like, what is this? And sometimes you take a picture of it and Google it, but it's better to have it written down. So those are two good suggestions.

A (4:21)

Yeah. And I have to say I am absolutely guilty of going to the doctor and not knowing how much of a pill I take. Not knowing my dose. I know I take it, but I've never paid attention to the dose. So I am one of these people.

B (4:33)

It's a good idea. And I also wanna make an announcement. I have a new audiobook coming out on January 8th. It's called Get it how to Complete youe Dream Project. I realize I have focused so much on people forming habits and I'm often like, well, a habit isn't the same thing as a project. This is all, well, what if what you want to do is to tackle a project, not some big habit, but a project. It might be like your PhD thesis or a book or you need to move or you need to make a career change. This really focuses on figuring out how you work best, how to approach a big project to make it manageable. You can follow me on audible to get notified when it goes live again. It goes live on January 8th. You can just search Gretchen Rubin. I really enjoyed working on this project. It was a Project about a project. And it was a very fun project.

A (5:24)

Yes. Well, I need this to get our novel done. Sarah and I need this. So we'll be listening.

B (5:29)

Oh, good. Well, this week our try this at home suggestion is to look back and look forward.

A (5:35)

So, Gretch, explain what you mean by this.

B (5:38)

Well, this is another year end year beginning exercise. So we keep talking about design year and the one word theme and the annual challenge and the 26 for 26 list. But those are all forward looking and it is useful to step back and look back and also to look forward and just think about the coming year as like a whole thing that is arriving. Now, I have been doing this kind of exercise for more than 10 years with two friends. We get together, sometimes we do it in one session, sometimes we do it in two where we look back and look forward. And I really like doing it with other people because there's just that energy you get when you're with other people. It does take some time and some hard thinking. And so I do think that I'm more likely to stick with it and not get distracted or procrastinate about doing it when I've got an appointment with a friend and we're all sitting down there, we've got our pads of paper and our markers and we are looking through our digital calendars and doing all this stuff. I think that really does bring more energy and accountability to it. And then we talk about it too. So after we do it, we'll discuss it. And because we've been doing it for so many years, we can help each other by saying, oh, well, here's this pattern. Or you've been talking about doing this for years. Are you finally gonna do it this year? Like, it can help us sort what we see by having other people's perspective.

A (6:57)

Okay, Gretch, so explain, like what does the look back part look like? And then explain what the look forward part looks like with a look back.

B (7:05)

I would look back on my design your year sheets. You know, the challenge, the one word theme, and particularly the list. So I would look at those through my digital calendar week by week. I would remind myself of all the things I'd done. So maybe I went to a conference, maybe I did an article. It's always amazing how much more happens in a year than you remember. I also look through my photos because I will often and use photos as a diary. I'll take a picture of something just to remind me that something happened, even though it's not a very valuable photograph. And then on One page, I have this pad of really good paper where I'll know the theme, the challenge, personal milestones. Of course, our father's death is gonna just be like a huge, looming thing that happened in 2025. But also, you know, happier things, like getting Taffy our puppy, or the Supreme Court reunion. All markdown travel. But of course, most of it is related to creative projects. For me, it' I had a book come out, Secrets of Adulthood. I had creative products that I've worked on, like my revised Moment of Happiness calendar. I had courses. I started my substack newsletter. I did partnerships, like the thing with bookshop. And then I also write about things that didn't work or that I didn't do or things that just failed. Still, I have not done my color Pilgrimage. I want to do something with that a lot of times. Well, first of all, it's kind of the ta da of realizing that I have done more than I realized that I did. And also, I can make conclusions about myself. Like, one thing I realized is that I really do enjoy going to conferences. Conferences kind of have a bad reputation. And there's this understanding that people don't enjoy conferences. But, Eliza, I think it was you saying, oh, I love a conference. And I'm like, I love a conference, too. Sign me up for a conference. Sometimes you just fall into these misconceptions about yourself, and so the look back helps me understand that. So that's the look back. What did I do? What patterns did I pick up? What do I see got done and didn't get done, and why?

A (8:56)

And then I assume looking back helps you look forward and think about what you want your next year to shape up as.

B (9:04)

Exactly. And that's why you'd always do the look back first, because it really does. You're exactly right. It kind of foreshadows and sets you up. But of course, it's less specific. It's more aspirational. Maybe I want to plan adventures. Like, Elizabeth, we're going to go on another reading retreat. Or I might remind myself of something that I want to keep doing. Like, okay, I really want to watercolor every day. I didn't do that in 2025. I want to try again in 2026. Do I have some big goals? Like, I want to sell my proposal for Project Empty Nest. That is a huge goal. Now, one of the things I like about doing this is putting it all on one page, using different colored markers and making boxes and circles and arrows and all this. Sarah, your writing partner, is such a journaler I do feel like there is something about having an all in one page and using colors and markers and sometimes even stickers helps bring it to life. It's a really satisfying exercise. It's really clarifying exercise. I keep these year to year because it's just on one page. It's easy. I just have, like a file that has all of them in it. I'll often look back for several years as I'm doing this to remind myself of what I had wanted to do and what I did do or didn't do in the past. Sometimes a theme will emerge years before I'm ready to actually tackle it and resolve it. Sometimes something that seemed really important at one time, I realized, oh, actually that wasn't important. Things have changed so much that it no longer really matters. This gives me more perspective.

A (10:28)

And is this just a regular size piece of paper that you do it on?

B (10:31)

It's actually watercolor paper. It's bigger. I think it's 9 by 12. But it's really heavy quality paper. And I have my special markers that I love that I use because, yeah.

A (10:42)

The paper and the markers of it seem very important in the process, but.

B (10:46)

I didn't want it so big that it would be hard to store. So it fits in my filing cabinet. So it's just right there next to me. Because I will refer to it sometimes, like, what were the projects that I said that I wanted to tackle? Did I even remember all the things that I set out to do? I'm astonished how often I'll just forget about something that I thought was really important to me.

A (11:03)

Well, Sarah and I don't do this, Gretchen, but we absolutely should. And we're getting together the first week of the year. So I think we need to put this on our agenda. And it's definitely up Sarah's alley. I won't have any trouble getting her to sign on to this. And especially with all the arrows and boxes and color coordinating stickers. She'll love it.

B (11:24)

But it's interesting because you're writing partners. Maybe you would want to do it separately, where you would include the reading retreat and the happier podcast. And then you might do one as a team, since you're not just a team the way, like, people work in a team, you're, like, literally writing partners. So something like the book that you're writing together, it would appear on both individual and your team, but it might be clarifying to do it as a team as well. Or maybe that's just incorporated because both of you share those. Be Interesting.

A (11:51)

Yes. No, we absolutely need to do this.

B (11:54)

It's really fun. It's really creative. It's really illuminating. I'm a big fan of all these exercises. It's a way to get ourselves to reflect because it's just very hard to take that time in everyday life if you don't have some exercise that keeps you focused.

A (12:08)

Well. And can I also just side note, Gretchen? Doing it with other people is a great way to like, connect and bond because you're talking about real things and of course, we're always looking to deepen those connections. So I also love it if you do it with other people. Like, you talk. I love it for that reason too.

B (12:26)

Yeah, it's very revealing. Well, and I'll say the thing is, is they kind of hold you to it for years. I would say, I need help, I need a team, I need help with what I'm doing. And every year they'd say, Gretchen, you keep seeing this every year. You've got to do it. You've got to do it. And finally I did. It took me a long time, but I think I did do it faster because I could just hear their voices in my ear saying, gretchen, you know, you need to do this. You just gotta find a way. And it's a way to draw closer to other people. It really is valuable to do it with others. Well, let us know if you do try this at home and how doing a look back, look forward exercise works for you. Do you do it in a completely different way? There's probably many ways to do it. Do you do it at work? Do you do it as a family? Let us know. We can all learn from each other. Hit us up on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook. You can drop us an email@podcastretchenrubin.com or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com 567 for everything related to this episode.

A (13:20)

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B (14:03)

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A (14:51)

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B (15:42)

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A (16:18)

The holidays are such a joyful time, but let's be honest, they can also be a lot. There's so much to cook, so much to clean, and unfortunately, so much food waste.

B (16:28)

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A (17:05)

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B (17:31)

Okay, so I have to preface this by saying this is pretty expensive if you want to make an investment in making a party more fun. But I didn't even know this was possible. So I was talking to a friend who has middle school aged children, a son and a daughter, and he was saying how he had bought a home cotton candy maker for his daughter's birthday party and my mind was blown. I thought of cotton candy as the kind of thing that you can't just have that at home. You have to be a licensed provider to have cotton candy. Right. It seems there's certain things you just don't think of as being able to make yourself. Like what are other things like that? Like bagels. People don't make bagels at home. For the most part. You have to go out for that. Or there's just certain things that it just doesn't seem like you would have it at home. And I thought, oh my gosh, this is some gigantic contraption. And he said, no, it's not that big. It's very easy to clean. Which surprised me because, you know, you think of the sticky. Yeah. Being sticky. The one he had was $250. So that is a lot of money. But I can imagine if you have a couple kids, if you like to entertain at home, or you have neighborhood barbecues or you have big family reunions, or you just have a thing you are often entertaining, it would be a big crowd pleaser and it does feel special.

A (18:52)

Yes. There's a spectacular nature to making your own cotton candy. And even though that's expensive, I mean, if you hire a magician or any of those things, it gets expensive fast. So this could actually be more economical.

B (19:07)

Right. And I'm going to use it over and over again. I'll post a link to the one that he had. But I looked online and this seems like there's many different ones so you could pick the one that worked for you. I just oh my gosh. This is super fun and I can see how you would get a bunch of little kids very excited if they could have cotton candy in a friend's backyard. Seems special.

A (19:26)

Crowd pleaser. All right, Gretchen, what is our know yourself better question this week?

B (19:32)

Well, this is yet another exercise to help you head into the new year, but this one is very whimsical and creative, perhaps even silly. It is great to add to your design your year exercises. Kind of like the one word theme I guess, but also related to self knowledge and a reminder about this approach came to us in an email from a listener.

A (19:52)

Yes, Abigail said. I was chatting with a friend tonight about self talk and the thought suddenly rolled into my noggin that I used to use a roller derby name for myself for more positive, fun and quirky self talk. Do you recall recommending that on one of your episodes from a few years ago? I had totally forgotten. Anyway, just in case other listeners needed a quick reminder, pick a roller derby name for yourself and use it. Maybe a good item for the 26 and 26 list. P.S. my amazingly courageous cousin used to be an actual roller derby girl.

B (20:29)

So fun.

A (20:30)

Love it.

B (20:31)

Yes. So Abigail is right. We discussed this idea way back in episode 362. It was from a suggestion from the listener, Mindy, and she was suggesting a twist on something that we had discussed in episode 355, which was talk to yourself by name. We were discussing research that shows that there's this real benefit of a phenomenon called distance self talk. This is when you talk to yourself where you say, Gretchen, you need to calm down by talking to yourself in the third person. Or like Gretchen gets cold very easily. She can't be out on a winter's day too long. You know what I mean? You just get a certain kind of perspective when you talk to yourself in the third person. So Mindy, who plays roller derby, explained that she did distant self talk by calling her by her roller derby name.

A (21:18)

Yes, Mindy said. I play roller derby. I think there are other derby players out there who listen to your podcast too. Most roller derby players give themselves a derby name or alter ego, much like Elizabeth calling herself Lizzy when she's trying to pump herself up. When I'm trying to pump myself up, I will call myself by my derby name even if I'm not in a derby situation. Going into an interview and want to project confidence. Plum can be fearless when Mindy is struggling. So might I suggest that your listeners give themselves an alter ego or nickname to call themselves when they're not feeling as assertive as they want to be. So, Gretch, I love this. My roller derby name you'll remember is Lightning Lizzie, because my personal symbol is a lightning bolt. And, yes, Lizzie is what I call myself to pump myself up. It's also something a bunch of my friends call me, so it makes me feel good because. Because it makes me feel loved when I'm called Lizzie.

B (22:19)

One of the reasons you like the one word theme of bounce was that it had kind of an energy. Well, Lightning Lizzie has speed and energy and crackle and precision and unexpectedness and fast action. There's a lot of power and energy to it and also the whimsy of a derby name. I love that.

A (22:35)

Yes. And your derby name was the Arrow, which is so you.

B (22:39)

Yeah, so I'm. Sagittarius is my astrological sign which incorporates an arrow. I think an arrow is a good symbol for an upholder because they're straight as an arrow. And like lightning, Lizzy, I think the arrow has this idea of speed and distance and precision of hitting the mark very fast, quick action, certainty. So there's a lot to it. And I'm always intrigued when a character goes by the. Like the Terminator. There's kind of a special power to that. So, yeah, I like the Arrow, But I have to say, Elizabeth, I'd forgotten about these. How about you?

A (23:12)

Yes. When you brought it up, I was so delighted because I completely had forgotten about Lightning Lizzie, which is just how we talk about. You can have something front of mind, and then it just goes away and you don't think about it. So I love revisiting this, and I'm sure a lot of listeners will be coming up with their own derby names, which, of course, Gretchen, we want to hear what they are.

B (23:34)

And here, Elizabeth, this is my ignorance in science. Is there a connection between X ray, which is your theme for 2026, and Lightning? Are they both forms of electricity? But maybe an X ray isn't really electricity. It's something else. I don't know. That's something that we could look up, but it feels like it's tapping into the same energy.

A (23:51)

Yes, it does. That's a very good point. There's something superhero about lightning and about X rays.

B (23:58)

For sure. Exactly. And the arrow, too. That sounds like it could be a superhero.

A (24:02)

Yes.

B (24:02)

Well, I think.

A (24:02)

Is the Arrow the character?

B (24:04)

It sounds like it should be. Even if it's not, it should be.

A (24:07)

All right, Gretch. Coming up, we are going to reflect on read 25 and 25. But first is break.

C (24:24)

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B (25:40)

So the annual challenge for 2025 was to read 25 and 25. Read for 25 minutes a day in 2025. And oh my gosh, how much did we love this challenge?

A (25:50)

We loved it.

B (25:51)

Let's just have a few reflections for read 25 and 25. Speaking of design year, this was the annual challenge to read 25 minutes in 2025. Elizabeth, is there anything better than reading for 25 minutes a day?

A (26:04)

No. It really is the greatest challenge. I mean, I'm excited about, but it won't say it's as warm and cozy as read 25.

B (26:16)

Yes. Yeah.

A (26:17)

And Gretchen, my ultimate favorite thing for me that came out of read 25 and 25 was doing the War and Peace slow read.

B (26:25)

Yes, I loved that too. We should say for anybody who doesn't know, Simon Hazel on substack has a substack called Footnotes and Tangents and he has many slow reads. He has a slow read of Hilary Mantel's Cromwell trilogy. We came to Simon Hazel's project because of War and Peace. Our mother had done it and she loved it so much she was gonna do it again. And so our whole family decided to Read War and Peace a chapter at a time over 20, 25.

A (26:51)

Yes. And I love the book and I love the process. I loved having Simon's thoughts on War and Peace. And, of course, it was the last big thing we did with dad was doing that slow read that we all enjoyed so much. So I feel like it's just something I want to incorporate into my life, doing these slow reads. So I am doing wolf hall in 26.

B (27:13)

You are?

A (27:13)

Yes.

B (27:14)

I loved War and Peace. I mean, it was funny. We would just talk about it as if it was a soap opera we were all watching or something like that. So here's my question. You know how I love to write down quotations as I read, and there were just so many that I loved in War and Peace that I didn't do it as I was reading. I just marked them up and I thought, okay, at the end, I'll go back and type them up, which I will do. But what I'm wondering is, does anybody else want to read these? I doubt it. But if you are a listener and you're thinking, I would really like to see the quotations that Gretchen pulled out of War and Peace, let me know, because if so, I'll do it in kind of a nice way and do a PDF, but I just don't think most people would want it. I want it because they're really important to me. But it's going to be a huge amount of work because it's a very long book, and there's a lot of very long passages that are really worth writing down. And the thing I noticed about Tolstoy, too, is some writers, you'll write down a sentence. But I feel like with Tolstoy, it's a whole paragraph or like a whole page that I want to capture. So if anybody's interested, let me know and I'll see about doing something about that.

A (28:18)

Yes. And speaking of the passages and the quotes, it really reminded me that I love great literature. As listeners know, I get very caught up in bestsellers and reading thrillers and what's Hot right now. But really tapping into a great work of literature reminded me that I want that to be part of my life as well. So that was a great reawakening for read 25 and 25.

B (28:44)

One of the things that has really come to me from read 25 is I really want to stop reading more. Like you say about great literature, there's so many great books to read. Plus, I love to reread. You don't love to reread But I love to reread. And I am always like, well, I shouldn't be rereading because if I'm not reading new things, then I. I won't have new things that I love just as much as the things that I wanna reread. But if I would stop reading books that don't really interest me, that I don't really enjoy, that are just whatever. I find it very hard to put down a book once I've started it. It just takes a lot of discipline for me to do that. But I really wanna push myself more because I just wanna have that precious reading time for things that are really, really good. Yes.

A (29:29)

Maybe you should task yourself with stopping a book once a week so you feel like you're accomplishing something.

B (29:36)

Exactly. Exactly. Or like the listener who said that she had a list of books she didn't finish because she wanted to sort of give herself credit. I thought that was brilliant. And then also, Elizabeth, One thing that read 25 did for me is you're a huge fan of audiobooks. Yes. And I can't process audiobooks the way you can. I cannot follow a book that I haven't read in audio. But I do love to reread. And I have found that there is a different pleasure in listening to a book that I have loved to read by listening to it. So, like prime of Ms. Jean Brody, which I love, I finally was like, well, why don't I listen to it? Because I probably will notice different things when I'm listening to it. And so I finally have found my way to enjoy audiobooks to the degree that you have enjoyed them, because I've envied you your ability to enjoy new books through audio, which I just can't do that. I just can't process it that way. I love audiobooks for rereading.

A (30:24)

That's great.

B (30:25)

But here's the thing. Read 25 and 25 is ending. We know many, many listeners followed along. We all loved it. But all of us need to make a commitment not to let reading fall out of our lives now that it's no longer the annual challenge. So maybe you want to start over again. Maybe you want to find a new way to hold yourself accountable. People set goals on Goodreads. People join a book group. People do all different kinds of things because it is such a great pleasure. And we hear from so many people who say, oh, my gosh, I'm just getting so much enjoyment out of. Keep it up. It's always there for you. Read, read, read, read, read.

A (31:00)

Yes, do It. All right, Gretch, it is time for demerits and gold stars. And this week, it is your turn for a happiness demerit.

B (31:09)

Okay, now this is a strange demerit because this was something I did in a dream. So I had a dream where I did something that earned a gigantic demerit in the moment. I woke up shaking. And you know when you have to talk to yourself to convince yourself that it didn't really happen, it was those super realistic dreams. And in the dream, what I did was so thoughtless and so careless that I keep thinking about it. And I'm sure it was my unconscious mind telling me something, right? Because I had this super vivid dream. So what happened is, in the dream, I was in the backseat of a car and some close friend. You know how it is in a dream. I don't know. But some close friend was driving, and a friend of hers was in the passenger seat ahead of me. So I was introduced to him quickly. So I didn't really focus on who it was. I did sort of notice that he really resembled this former child whose name I knew in the dream. And because of the power of suggestion, because, you know, where something triggers some kind of association in the moment in our conversation, somehow I said something very disparaging about that actor. Like, oh, well, you know, that person. Their lack of talent meant that the whole TV show flopped. Okay, cut to. It turned out to be that person. In fact, it was that child actor. And I had just said something totally out of the blue, super mean, super thoughtless. If I had taken one second, I would have thought, well, this person really looks like that actor. I'm not naming any names because in the dream, like, they didn't have names. It was just like, I just knew. But I woke up shaking, and I was so full of shame and remorse and kicking myself. Like, why had I done something so thoughtless? It was terrible for that person. It was terrible for my friend. I felt so awful. Maybe it was my unconscious mind reminding me, like, take a minute. Yes, think about your words. Don't get careless. Don't say drive by mean things, because there's no point to that. I don't know. But anyway, it was a dream demerit, but it was a big demerit.

A (33:12)

I do know that feeling of having to convince yourself, wait, it was a dream. It did not happen. I don't have to feel scared or bad or anxious.

B (33:21)

Oh, poor Jamie just has the word worst dreams. And I'm always just like, let it float away, let it float away. It's not real, but. Elizabeth, take us up. What's your gold star?

A (33:30)

Well, Gretch, I'm giving a gold star to you and to me and to mom because we've all continued to exercise during this really hard time. Most listeners know at this point we lost our dad a few weeks ago, and it's the time where it's very easy to just say, forget it. I don't need to exercise. I'm just gonna lay in bed. I don't want to deal with that. But we all have continued on. I think for mom especially, it's so impressive that she got right back into it.

B (34:06)

She did. She really did.

A (34:08)

And I think one thing that makes it easier, maybe for the three of us, is we know how happy dad would be that we are exercising. It was one of the things he cared about most. So that is a great impetus. I think for the rest of my life, I will feel. Feel compelled to exercise because I know dad would be happy about it. But I really do give us a gold star for doing that because it's not easy.

B (34:33)

Well, and the thing is, many good habits, it really benefits us, too. Yes, sleeping when you exercise regularly, it's easier to fall asleep faster and sleep more deeply. And I feel like I don't know about you, but I am just sleeping so much more. But I need that sleep, and I want to be able to get that sleep, especially for a mom. I think, think the structure and just the healthiness of it is so important.

A (34:57)

And it's a good way to cope with anxiety.

B (34:59)

Of course, it's calming, and it also. It's energizing, too. At a time when you're feeling very depleted and when you're really stressed out, it's easy to think like, oh, this is just going to exhaust me more. But in fact, unless you're really exercising at the extreme, exercise tends to boost energy rather than deplete energy. So there's a million reasons to do it. But you're right. When things are really hard, it can feel really, really challenging to stick with it. So. Oh, good. Good, good, good. That's a good gold star. The resource for this week. Well, it's very exciting. The Happiness Project revisited course for 2026 starts next week. It is a flexible yet structured way to do a happiness Project. If you want to do a happiness project yourself in 2026, that means there's monthly themes that you can tailor to yourself and work on throughout the year. It is the last chance to sign up@happiercast.com course and Elizabeth it's the end of read 25 and 25. What are you reading now?

A (35:58)

I am reading Full Tilt by Janet Ivanovich.

B (36:02)

And I am reading the Rim of Mourning by William Sloan. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Look back and look forward. Let us know future tried it and how you did it and how it worked for you.

A (36:17)

Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now is the perfect time.

B (36:25)

And here's your rhyming reminder for this week. If you like the show, tell others. You know word of mouth is the most important way that people discover our show.

A (36:35)

Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Craft.

B (36:37)

And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us on Onward and Upward.

A (36:53)

Gretch. I feel like for you, New Year's is like the way April 15th is for accountants.

B (37:00)

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like the big day.

A (37:02)

It all comes together.

B (37:03)

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. From the Onward Prize Project.

A (37:15)

Hi Gretchen. Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here we host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know, Gretchen, a lot of our.

B (37:31)

Listeners are going through some major life changes.

A (37:34)

What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the the midst of major life transitions?

B (37:41)

Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. Fear. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever you get podcast, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships. Kiki Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success. Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.