Ep. 569: Do You Miss Having Time to Hang Out with Friends? Plus Listeners’ One-Word Themes

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Episode: Ep. 569: Do You Miss Having Time to Hang Out with Friends? Plus Listeners’ One-Word Themes
Date: January 14, 2026
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft

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Episode Overview

This episode of Happier is themed around two central ideas: rekindling meaningful, easy social connection with friends (inspired by the German “Stammtisch” tradition), and the power of intention-setting through one-word annual themes, as listeners share their words for 2026. The show explores the challenges of finding time for friendships as adults, offers a practical tip for elevating the everyday, and dives into a vibrant, often moving, listener mailbag.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Welcoming Updates & Listener Success Stories

• Listener Donna’s Feedback (02:40): Donna shares how the “25 in 25 Reading Challenge” transformed her habits, reducing social media and TV time, resulting in reading 112 books by December.
  • Notable Quote:
    "If you told me I'd read over a hundred books this year, I would have laughed. I plan to continue this challenge next year and many to come." — Donna (03:26)
• Gretchen’s Anniversary (03:42): Gretchen celebrates the 11th anniversary of her husband Jamie being declared free of Hepatitis C, reflecting on gratitude for science and the impact of research.

2. Try This at Home: Consider the Tradition of the “Stammtisch”

• What is Stammtisch? (05:11-06:16):
  • A German term meaning “regulars’ table”: a standing, casual, recurring social gathering at a restaurant or café—open, unstructured, commitment-light.
  • "It's a place where you can just show up or not show up. It's just there when it's there." — Elizabeth (06:16)
  • Gretchen points out the scheduling struggle in adult friendships, noting the ease this approach brings.
• Personal Examples (07:11-08:01):
  • Elizabeth describes parents having a monthly informal breakfast, and their grandfather’s decades-long coffee meetups.
  • Low-pressure, non-hosted, simple ways to stay connected.
• Takeaway:
  • Scheduling is a key barrier; a regular, standing event with no RSVP or host responsibilities makes it easier to keep adult friendships alive.
  • The concept is appealing for its “predictable, easy socializing”—and as Gretchen puts it,
    "It's social time, but very low bar." (08:17)
• Encouragement to Listeners:
  • Gretchen plans to test this tradition in her own neighborhood and urges listeners to share their experiences or adaptations.

3. Happiness Hack: Upgrade the Ordinary (13:43)

• Inspired by Elizabeth (14:07): Using fancy china mugs on weekends to elevate the daily experience.
  • Quote:
    "On the weekend, I upgrade my ordinary mug to a nice china mug." — Elizabeth (14:07)
• Gift Suggestions:
  • Give luxury versions of everyday items (ex: silver bookmark, nice pens, special editions of beloved books) for increased daily pleasure.
• Key Insight:
  • Upgrading something routine can “zhuzh” up life, increasing happiness through small, tangible luxuries.
  • "Elevating the ordinary makes a good gift." — Gretchen (16:13)

4. Big Segment: Listeners’ One-Word Themes for 2026 (16:50–33:53)

The hosts read and discuss a wide array of listener-submitted words capturing personal goals, attitudes, and aspirations for 2026. Notable examples include:

• “Moi” (Miss Piggy-inspired confidence and self-care; 16:58)
  • "...to remind myself to take care of myself, be glamorous, dream big and metaphorically karate chop anyone who tries to thwart me." — Amy (17:01)
• “Track” (habits, athletics, multiple meanings; 18:03)
• “Bittersweet” (embracing changes—kids leaving home, parents aging; 17:38)
• “Row”/“Steps” (breaking down goals, movement, and journey; 18:57)
• “Full” (seeking fullness in everyday experiences; 19:20)
• “Soft” (aiming to soften perfectionistic edges, especially after parenting changes; 19:52)
• “Will” (channeling both Shakespeare and willpower; complemented by a theme song; 20:12)
• “Craft” (caregiving and intentionally shaping one’s life; 20:44)
• “Emerge” (beautiful metaphor of moving from darkness into growth, symbolized by a sea turtle; 20:57–23:12)
  • Memorable Quote:
    "All the wisdom and the lessons I have learned while in the dark place go with me as I emerge... I will not be alone as I venture out to continue living." — Paige (22:25)
• Creative Format Twists
  • Re-lease (finding a new “lease” on life post-divorce; 27:55)
  • Key ring word tags as a visibility and accountability boost among friends (32:07)
• Hosts Praise Variety & Impact:
  • Discuss multiple-meaning words and physical symbols (necklaces, charms) deepening the yearly theme's resonance.
  • Suggest making word-choosing a group icebreaker or recurring tradition (33:20).
  • "All of these words are so interesting. I would love to have all of these." — Elizabeth (32:28)

5. Demerit and Gold Star Segment (34:01)

• Gretchen’s Demerit: (34:01)
  • Rushing the packing away of treasured Christmas ornaments, vowing to develop a better system next year for preserving “precious” family decorations.
• Elizabeth’s Gold Star: (36:00)
  • To her writing partner Sarah, who started a Substack, “Chickening Out,” chronicling her year of roasting a chicken weekly – both entertaining and an accountability tool.
    • "I have zero interest in roasting a chicken myself, but I love reading about Sarah roasting chicken. It's very entertaining." — Elizabeth (36:55)
  • The power of public commitment and incremental progress (“1 of 52, 2 of 52…”).

6. Happier App & Community Challenge (39:01)

• Move 26 in 26: A challenge to move 26 minutes a day, tracked with the Happier app, emphasizing different tracking and accountability strategies.
  • Both hosts are on track so far.

7. What Are You Reading? (40:07)

• Elizabeth: The Wonder Boy of Whistlestop by Fannie Flagg
• Gretchen: Christmas in Austin by Ben Markovitz

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On “Stammtisch” and Friendship:

  • "It's like you can show up without telling anyone you're showing up or not show up. It's just there when it's there." — Elizabeth (06:16)
  • "Scheduling is what makes things hard." — Gretchen (06:25)
  • "It's social time, but very low bar." — Gretchen (08:17)

• On Upgrading the Ordinary:

  • "This is the idea that you take something you use just as part of ordinary life and you somehow do something to upgrade it." — Gretchen (13:43)

• On One-Word Themes:

  • "Each is more imaginative than the last. Like, you just think, I could do all of these one word themes." — Gretchen (16:57)
  • "Words can be one word, six words, whatever works for you." — Gretchen (17:38)
  • "The word that came to me was EMERGE...For me, this signifies two things. All the wisdom and the lessons I have learned while in the dark place go with me as I emerge." — Paige (22:25)

• On Accountability and Sticking to Intentions:

  • "A way that she furthered the accountability is that she's numbering them: 1 of 52, 2 of 52... That really puts on the pressure to stay accountable." — Elizabeth (37:37)
  • "Very small shifts, just a little detail, can make a very significant difference in how consistently somebody can stick to something." — Gretchen (37:51)

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Additional Resources Mentioned

• Move 26 in 26: The annual movement challenge, tracked via the Happier app (39:01)
• Listener Tools: Using key ring tags for annual word reminders (32:07)
• Books referenced: Piranesi, The Wind in the Willows, The Wonder Boy of Whistlestop, Christmas in Austin

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Episode Tone and Style

Warm, enthusiastic, practical with a streak of humor and heart. Elizabeth and Gretchen share personal anecdotes, celebrate small wins, and model genuine curiosity and gratitude for their listeners’ creativity and openness.

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Conclusion & Call to Action

Listeners are encouraged to try out the “Stammtisch” idea for low-pressure socializing, pick a one-word theme (and possibly make it a group tradition), share their experiences (especially with the Stammtisch!) on social platforms or via email, and consider joining the Move 26 in 26 challenge.

End of summary.

Transcript

[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

Lemonade.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about how to become happier. This week we'll talk about why you might consider the tradition of the Stumptish and what that is and we'll share some of listeners. Excellent one word themes for 2026. I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, secrets of adulthood and human nature. I'm in my little home office in New York City and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, you and I could talk about one word themes all day long.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in la. And yes Gretch, we sure could. My one word theme is X Ray.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I know. So intriguing. But before we jump in, we have some updates.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Donna said I have to thank you for your 25 and 25 reading challenge. I've been so much happier this year as I scrolled less on social media, stopped reading the news and watching mindless TV. I can happily say I've read 25 minutes and more and more every day so far and it has truly changed my life. I feel so much better reading classics, memoirs and self help books that have made me laugh and fed my spirit. I've read so many books on my to be read that I actually have room on my bookshelves for more books. Woohoo. I usually read about 50 books each year, and this year I more than doubled that number. It's mid December and I've already read 112 books and I still have two more weeks to go. If you told me I'd read over a hundred books this year, I would have laughed. I plan to continue this challenge next year and many to come. It's exhilarating to finally put a big dent in my to be read pile.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, I love. Well, and this is what we always say is reading leads to more reading. Once you start reading, you're like, I forgot how much fun it is to read.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, so true.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I just wanna note, as I do every year, the anniversary of the happiest day of my life. We just passed the 11th anniversary of January 9, 2015. That's when my husband Jamie was pronounced that the virus was not detected. He had hepatitis C that he got from a blood transfusion he had from a heart operation that he had when he was 8 years old. He tried many experimental treatments, but nothing worked. And then, thanks to scientists and brilliant research, on January 9, 2015, the virus was not detected. And it was just the happiest day of my life. And you know what is really nice this year, Elizabeth, is that I've heard from a few of the scientists who worked on this medication and saying like, oh, it's so nice to hear these stories from actual people who benefited from all of the research that they did. And actually I found out that a friend of mine from high school was involved in some of the clinical trials that Jamie might have participated in.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, wow.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. So anyway, it was the happiest day of my life. I was just beside myself. I didn't know what to do with myself. So it's a private family holiday that we celebrate every year. January 9th. Yay.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yay science.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yay science. And this week, our try this at home suggestion is a very good idea. It's a little hard to print pronounce for me. And it's related to my one word theme of neighbor. It is to consider the tradition of the Stummtish.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Okay, so what is that? You also might want to spell it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay. Stumtisch. And I apologize to German speakers if I am really getting that wrong. A stumtisch is S T A M, M T, I S, C H Stumtisch. So stumtisch is German for a regulars table. And so the term both refers to the table that's reserved for regulars, but it also refers to that informal recurring social gathering of the locals who meet there. And so the idea is that this table is set aside for these people who come. It's a restaurant, it's a bar, and these regulars come and like this is their spot. And it also refers to just the idea of the gathering itself. It's not a structured meeting. It's like a place where people are talking or playing cards, socializing. Maybe they're having political discussions or philosophical discussions or they're talking about something that they're all really interested in. But it's a bunch of familiar faces who get together at a standing date. A predictable time and place. And then you get together. And so it's a social activity that you can count on.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It's like you can show up without telling anyone you're showing up or not show up. It's just there when it's there.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, it's just there when it's there. And I just think that this is a lovely idea because I think one thing that people have trouble with with social life is the scheduling. Right. Elizabeth, you and I were always saying it's the scheduling that makes things hard. And then also when you're hosting, if it's a book club and people have to like in all my book clubs we take turn hosting, which is lovely. It is more intimate to go to somebody's home. But then it is a little bit more responsibility. And if there's this table at the back of a diner or a bar or a restaurant and you can just show up or not show up. And okay, it's the first Tuesday of the month from 6 to 8, we're all gonna go to our favorite bar and just have a happy hour. And then you can count on it, you can plan on it, you can try to make it. If you do, you do. If you don't, you don't. But you know you're gonna see people that you like.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, a couple of examples of this I can think of. Gretchen, my class, the first Thursday of every month there's a informal gathering, a stunt tish for breakfast after drop off.

[Gretchen Rubin]

These are the parents in Jack's class?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, the parents in Jack's class. And every class has it on a different day.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, nice.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So you just know to show up at this restaurant. A lot of times the same people are there, but there's always a little variety. It's just nice because it's casual. You don't have to rsvp. You can just come for five minutes or for an hour.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right. Well, and my in laws have this at a restaurant where there's. There are. There's just a bunch of regulars who. And I don't even know how it evolved, but they really like to go to sort of check in with these people. It's lovely.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, and the other example I can think of is our grandpa, Mom's dad.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

He did this for, I think, decades, where he would go to breakfast two or three days a week at the same coffee shop with the same guys, but again, he would just show up. It wasn't like, you know, everybody was calling each other about it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right. I think this is such a great idea because it's social time, but very low bar.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. You know, this is a big thing. I think in la, probably a lot of people might have this in coffee shops because it is a place where people don't work regular jobs. Like Adam, I think, had this when we first met. He would go to this coffee shop called Insomnia, and he was friends with people there. And I think a lot of times people did have their table where they sat down. So, yeah, I think this is something I would like to have more of.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right. Well, I'm gonna see if I could get this going in my neighborhood because I do have a lot of people who live within walking distance, and I think they would be into it. So I wanna try it. You know, it reminds me of one of my secrets of adulthood. And the secret of adulthood is that wise words seem more convincing when they come from faraway lands. And I think that it's just stumptish. Makes it seem like, ooh, this is more of a thing to try rather than, like, oh, let's just get together, you know, like, once a month at the. It kind of elevates it by giving it this phrase. Okay, so I am really gonna work on that. This is something that I could try to do as for my 20, 26 year of neighbor, which is to get this going in my neighborhood with friends, I would love that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Clearly, it's a time when convenience is gonna make a big difference.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Absolutely. It has to be something that you can really fit into your life easily. Well, let us know if you do try this at home. How? Considering a stumptisch. You know, what are you thinking? Do you have this? What does it look like? I think we could all learn from examples of successful stumptisches, as we might think about creating our own. Let us know on Instagram. Threads, TikTok, Facebook. Drop us an [e-mail] or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com 569 coming up, we've.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Got a happiness hack about how to give life a little more zhuzh. But first, this break.

[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

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[Gretchen Rubin]

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[Elizabeth Craft]

All right, Gretch, what is this week's happiness hack?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, this was inspired partly by you, Elizabeth. And that is the idea to upgrade the ordinary. This is the idea that you take something that you use just as part of ordinary life and you somehow do something to upgrade it so that it feels more special or it feels more luxurious or it just feels nicer. But it is something that's folded into your everyday life.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So you got this idea because I like to use my fancy china coffee mugs on the weekend. So on the weekend I upgrade my ordinary mug to a nice china mug.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Because you are a very mug focused person, Elizabeth. Yes, I got this idea from you and then it was sort of reinforced. We talked about this in the gift guide list. When I was working with a makeup professional, I always ask makeup artists, what products do you like? And she recommended the La Mer lip balm. And she said, this is a really wonderful lip balm and it is expensive and and so it makes a good gift. If there's somebody who really likes to use lip balm, they're probably not gonna buy this for themselves, but you could give it to them as sort of a luxury gift. And I thought, well, that's great because I myself do not use lip balm, but everybody in my family except for Jamie is using lip balm morning, noon and night. So I thought, well, this is really nice because this is an elevated version of something that they do use just as part of their ordinary routine.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, and Gretch, you kind of did this for me when you gave me my beautiful silver bookmark.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh, yes, I got you the lion bookmark for roar24. Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. And I love that bookmark. I use it every single day. And in fact, I loved it so much, I went hunting for others like it. And there's an Elsa Peretti heart bookmark that's very similar at Tiffany that Sarah and I put on our gift list this year because it's, again, for a book lover, it's really upgrading an ordinary bookmark, something you wouldn't buy for yourself, but. But it really does give you more pleasure.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, I usually am, like, ripping something out of the trash and sticking it in there. Exactly, exactly. Speaking of, like, how elevating the ordinary makes a good gift, you know, I love children's literature, and people know that about me. And from two different people, I got a beautiful edition of a classic children's book. So I got a gorgeous illustrated. I know when it's a boxed set when two or more books come in a box, but sometimes it's like one book comes in a box. Is that called, like, a slip case or something? I'm not sure. But you know what that is when it's like, in a nice little box, beautiful color illustrations, beautiful paper. One of the Wind in the Willows, which is a very famous children's book, and then the other is not a children's book, but it kind of got a real Narnia feeling to it, which I love beyond all measure, which is Piranesi. And so, of course, I keep my original copies that I've read because those are precious to me. But I love having these elevated versions of something that I do really like and really reread constantly.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, some people love a nice pen, for instance.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Exactly. That might be a really great place to upgrade instead of just taking something that, like, you stuck in your pocket after you were, like, signing a check and, you know, at the bank or something. Absolutely.

[Elizabeth Craft]

All right, Gretchen, let's dive into listener answers. We got so many one word themes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And we just love them.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And each is more imaginative than the last. Like, you just think, I could do all of these one word themes. So this one was very funny. Amy says, honestly considering the word moi with Miss Piggy as my image to remind myself to take care of myself, be glamorous, dream big and metaphorically karate chop anyone who tries to thwart me.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's one of my favorites. Susan said my six words for 26 use nix or fix. In 26. I'm turning 60 this year, and I want to clear out everything that isn't serving me to make room for the very best.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Love that Love a rhyming reminder and love the fact that it can be one word, it can be six words. It's up to you. Shannon Said. I was feeling a little stuck until I came across Bittersweet yesterday. I just moved my mom into assisted living and will need to sell her a house in the coming year. My son is graduating high school and headed to college. It's a time of significant change and I need to embrace the bittersweetness of it all. Beautiful.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Tanya said. Track as in track habits so I get more consistent, stay on track, make a plan and stick to it. And track as in track and field, which I want to take on more in my coaching role and possibly run in a master's track meet next summer.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I love that example of a word can have multiple meanings and that really deepens it and kind of gets you thinking in different directions too. Katie Said, My word of the year isn't exactly a word. It is row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream to me. This lyric balances the work of everyday life and serves as a reminder to be gentle and grateful too. I can definitely be guilty of clinging to my clipboard and I need to find more ease in day to day life. I have picked an ore as my symbol and my OR necklace is currently being shipped from from Etsy. I love the or. That's a powerful symbol.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It really is. Courtney said Steps Because I want to aim for 10,000 steps per day, my partner and I are working toward buying a house in 2026 literal steps and I also want to focus on breaking down tasks into small steps. Great tie in for move 26 and 26. Well it sure is for anyone who's moving this year. Yeah, that's a good tie in.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well that's funny because move 26. There's also the move house. That's like a big thing a lot of people have to face so you can move to get movement in your body and then move. So yeah, excellent tie in. Judy Said. I've chosen full. A full life, a full heart, a full belly, a full cup of coffee, days full of fun and making my life better all around a full time job. So many ways to fill up my world in good and meaningful ways. Love Full.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. Full is just one of those words that's appealing.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Abigail says soft. I have found that after having my third slash last baby this year, I've been feeling very rigid in my patterns of tidiness slash getting Tasks completed and it's not working well for me or my family. Like a camera, I'm going to zoom in and focus on what's really important and soften my hard edges.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Ooh, that's very compelling. Bernice says will is the word. This is going to be my year of Shakespeare, but also as I will make things happen and in having the will to say no rather than overextend myself, pleasing others. I even have a theme song. Jennifer Hudson singing you will. It even includes the lyrics. Never think you won't. And you will love that. Love having a theme song.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. That takes it to another level.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And that's funny to think of will as the year of Shakespeare.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I love that. Yeah, that's very fun.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, I love Joy's word. Craft.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Crafting my life as a caregiver for my husband with Parkinson's. How can I use each day to craft a better life for our future selves?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Elizabeth, Our maiden name is Craft, so we could do a lot with that. Paige said, the past five or six years have been a struggle for me as I have navigated through a life changing faith crisis, as well as this feeling of who am I and what do I do now that not primarily someone's mom. Both of my kids are grown and on their own, and this open door phase has really affected my sense of purpose and identity. I've done a lot of inner work and counseling, but I feel like I've been living in fear, anxiety, and confusion with no clear direction or sense of being anchored. It feels like I have been a seed in a dark soil preparing to grow, or in a cocoon being transformed and gaining strength, or struggling and waiting in an eggshell, preparing to hatch and enter the world. I had lost most of my confidence and truly questioned if I would ever reclaim parts of my old self that I had lost. So the word that came to me was emerge. I am ready to break through the soil, come out of the cocoon, to emerge from the egg and begin to make my way in the world again. The butterfly image was intriguing, but it felt like the transformation was complete, like the growth process was over. I'm very aware that growth is a lifelong process, and I will continue to change as I experience new people and new ideas. And I'm not a finished product yet. I was really drawn to the image of a sea turtle hatching and making its way toward the ocean. They hatch from their eggs but are not yet fully grown. They carry their shell on their backs wherever they go. For me, this signifies two things. All the wisdom and the lessons I have learned while in the dark place go with me as I emerge. I don't leave my old self completely behind. And when I'm overwhelmed, I can retreat into that shell temporarily for stillness or rest or time away from the chaos of life. Secondly, I picture that shell as God going with me wherever I go. Even though I am leaving the perceived safety of the egg, I will not be alone as I venture out to continue living. I've ordered a silver charm of a turtle coming out of its eggshell. This is a really good example of like really focusing on the metaphor that works for you. She found ones that were sort of close and then she found the one that really carried all the associations. So I think that's a beautiful ex. Really getting what is that symbol? What is that vocabulary that carries the most power?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah, it's so poetic and it feels like remembering the word will actually give her the courage to go forth and emerge. It will actually make an impact on how she proceeds, which is wonderful.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, exactly.

[Elizabeth Craft]

All right, Gretch. Coming up, we hear more words for 2026 6. But first this break. Gretch as we dive into 2026 on the podcast, we know that so many of us want to focus on wellness and I love that. Whole Foods Market is basically a one stop shop for wellness. You can get great lean protein, you can find good vitamins, they have meal shortcuts. If you're doing dry January, Whole Foods Market has great non alcoholic beer, wine and mocktails. Of course you have to be 21 + in select states to get those, but it's all stuff you can get for a good price.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, you can find examples of nourishing and cost friendly finds that will help you towards whatever your wellness goal is. And everything follows Whole Food Market's strict ingredient standards. Plus their 365 brand has delicious and wallet happy varieties of all kinds of foods that are ready to eat or whatever you're looking for. Shop all things wellness at Whole Foods Market.

[Elizabeth Craft]

So Gretch, Adam has been trying to cook more but you know it's a new thing in our family. Partly because Jack really wants to make sure he's getting enough protein and Hungryroot makes it so much easier. It is the easiest way to eat healthy. Hungryroot basically works like a personal nutrition coach and a shopper in one by planning, recommending and shopping everything for you. Which is so key because we don't want to spend a lot of time shopping. They take care of weekly meal planning, recommending healthy recipes tailored to your tastes and your nutrition preferences and health goals.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for Life. Go to hungryroot.com gretchenrubin and use code gretchenrubin that's hungryroot.com gretchenRubin code gretchenrubin to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. As a business owner myself, I know that owning a business means long days and lots of hard work. You need to be able to adapt to new challenges as they pop up, and you certainly need the right technology to help you do that. Spectrum Business keeps businesses of all sizes connected seamlessly with Internet, advanced wi, fi, phone, TV and mobile services. Spectrum Business has tailored connectivity solutions and packages built for your business's budget. No contracts, no added fees, and right now, business owners can get free business Internet advantage forever when you add four or more mobile lines. Visit spectrum.com freeforlife to learn how you can get business Internet free Forever Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas okay.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Gretch, we are back with more Amazing words for 2026 Mary Ellen says I must share the coolest moment I ever had. Listening to Happ kept up the practice of creating an annual list since 2021, but 2023 was the first year that I had a word of the year, which was look in 2024. I couldn't think of a new word and I was still so attached to look, so I decided to modify it to look up. One of my 2024 list items was to identify my spiritual masters and I quickly settled on Anne Lamott. It was of course to my delight that she was a guest on your show and to June 2024 episode 487. But that delight turned to a sense of the divine when you asked Ann for her try this at home tip and Ann replied, well, my go to suggestion is to just keep going outside no matter what, no matter how busy and important you think you are, and to look up and to look around to have my personally identified spiritual master say my word slash phrase through the medium of your podcast, which brought those practices into my life in the first place. Kismet.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh I love that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That gives me chills. And I remember Annie talking about that.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, wonderful. Rebecca says, I just started the divorce process so it's going to be a rough year. Landed on release because one I am releasing things that no longer serve me and hopefully some of the shame and guilt and I spelled it as re dash lease because hopefully I can start to get a new lease on life. So that's an interesting way of playing even with the way the word is presented so that it has more meanings. Love it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, Kristin said Empress. I was inspired for the podcast where you mentioned the listener who does tarot on New Year's Eve. The Empress card is all about nurturing motherhood, abundance, creativity and beauty.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Love that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's a pretty word.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes, it is. It is. Isn't there an Empress butterfly too? And I think there might be a famous piece of music Melanie says Flywheel I'm a rower and in the off season we keep in shape with winter training on the indoor rowing machines. So this is literally a reminder to get myself to the gym on the regular. But it is also metaphorical when rowing, you never wanna let the flywheel come to a stop, as starting from a dead stop is the most difficult stroke. I want to avoid the boom and bust cycles I had in 2025 regarding exercise, sleep and even leisure pursuits. It's my interpretation of your saying don't let myself get to empty. Interesting. And that again, fun word, lots of meanings. Fun symbol.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, Nat said. Recently, I've been really into how colors affects mood and energy. I love the idea of dopamine decor and dopamine outfits. Never heard of that. It honestly started with something very simple. I bought a pair of bright pink sneakers and notice that every time I wear them, my mood instantly improves. It sounds small, but it made me realize how much color can influence how I feel. That's why I wanted my word for the year to be connected to color. I ended up choosing neon. Neon lights make me think of bright, happy colors, fun and a bit of playfulness. And that's exactly what I want more of this year, both literal, literally and metaphorically. I want to be more optimistic, more open, and a little braver. I also want to bring more color into my everyday life, into my craft room, my clothes, and my surroundings in general. As a nice bonus, apparently the name of the gas neon comes from the Greek word neos, which means new. It fits perfectly with a few new beginnings happening in my life this year. Even sending this email feels new for me. I usually avoid sharing things like this, thinking who cares? But this year I wanted to try doing things anyway, even if they feel slightly uncomfortable. Well, I'm so glad that Nat shared that, Gretchen.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, I love that. And I love this color. I wrote about this in Life in Five Senses and maybe this year I'll do my color pilgrimage because it's true. Color has such a profound influence on us. There's so much beauty in color. Maybe I'll have a color related word next year. I love that idea. Thank you, Nat Leslie said. For years now, my best friend Julie and I have created happier style yearly lists. We also follow your lead in choosing words for each year, a practice that has expanded across our circle of friends and many of their partners, kids and colleagues. For the last several years, I've had fobs made word on front year on back for these folks to put on their key rings to keep their theme top of mind. They are actually pet name tags which are easy to find online, highly customizable, very inexpensive, and usually set with a perfect O ring for keys. The 2026 set arrived today, so it seemed like a good time to reach out and thank you for a practice that's brought my friends closer, sparked great discussions, and helped us to know a little bit more about each other even after all these years. And a Try this at home tip. Invite people to pick a word. Not everybody is into it, but I have been surprised by the enthusiasm some have shown. And then she included a picture of what these look like. They're like those plastic tags that you can put on your keys if you want to say something like backdoor or whatever. And the words were ardent, forge, immersive, wayfinding, boundless. And I think that that's a great idea because we often get something like a piece of jewelry, but something on a key ring is a great idea. Something very inexpensive.

[Elizabeth Craft]

And you see it all the time.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And you see it all the time.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Gretchen, let's just go through a list of other great words.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. Just to get everybody's imagination going. One is chirpsicorian, which I had to look up because I wasn't exactly sure. And that means related to dancing Tigris, Frolic, Summit, Distill, Recess tower.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Then there's Space Magic Golden Rhizome, which is a horizontal form of plant stem that grows underground and can form roots and shoots that grow into a new plant. That's evocative.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Cup company Forage, Restraint Flower, Polaroid Hygge, which is the quality of coziness, contentment and well being through enjoying simple, comfortable moments.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, this is that word. H Y G G E. It looks like hygge and I guess it's really hygge, but yeah, that's a word that many people are drawn to.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Popular in cold countries.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Placement and dice.

[Gretchen Rubin]

See, all of these words are so Interesting.

[Elizabeth Craft]

I would love to have all of these.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah. And I think Leslie's suggestion that, like, have people pick a word and then talk about what they pick, that would be a great thing to do, either as an icebreaker with people who don't know each other well or with people who know each other well, because why would they pick what they pick? You. And I enjoy that conversation so much. Just between us, Elizabeth, I think that I don't know why I've never tried to do that. That's exactly the kind of things I would try to have my friends do. And, like, let's all sit around and talk about it. That's fun.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes. I love it. Okay, Gretch, it is time for demerits and gold stars. And this week, you have a happiness demerit.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, so this is related to putting away Christmas decorations. So I have a lot of Christmas decorations. Christmas decorations are a big thing in our family, Elizabeth. You know just as well as I do. Yes. And this year, our mother was in New York City for Christmas, where usually we're in Kansas City. So she very, very kindly offered to help me put away the decorations, which really makes a huge difference when you have more people doing it. So we're putting them away and putting them away. And she was saying, like, I think you could have a system of boxes that would work better, because the thing about our boxes is they've sort of happened over time. Some of these boxes are decades old. I never had a theory of it, or I never mindfully chose a system. It's just, like, a bunch of random boxes. And then she was really looking to see, okay, what boxes would work the best and be the most efficient way and easiest to handle, which is great, because that is the kind of work that I'm really bad at, which is looking at a million different options and figuring out which one is exactly what you want. So she gets a gold star for doing that. But here's the demerit that I get. So we're putting them away and putting them away, and then near the end, I just want to get this done. And I was just, like, slamming those ornaments into the boxes and closing them, and they'll be fine. And usually they are. You know, maybe you've got, you know, a Sugar Plum Fairy or something whose skirts are a little bit rumpled. Usually they're fine, but I love these ornaments. I want them to last forever, and I don't want to handle them without really making sure that I'm taking care of them properly. And so by giving myself this demerit, Elizabeth, I am pledging. Really? I should have just got the new boxes and then transferred everything before I put them away in the storage unit in the basement. But I was just like, no, I just want to get the boxes out of the way. But I am going to do this next year. I think it'll be easier and better for the ornaments and easier for the people putting the ornaments away. So I'm giving myself a demerit to pledge myself to rationalizing that system which has grown up willy nilly loose and ineffective way over the year. But Alyssa, so that's my demerit. Remind me, 12 months from now, what is your gold star?

[Elizabeth Craft]

Well, I am giving a gold star to my writing partner and co host of Happier in Hollywood, Sarah. Because with everything we're doing, Sarah is actually starting another substack.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Oh my gosh. Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

It is inspired by the fact that on her 26 for 26 list is to roast a chicken every week with a different recipe. So she is starting a sub stack called Chickening Out.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I love that name. That is so funny. Because she's not letting herself chicken out.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, I love the name. So every week she's posting the recipe she's using and just stuff about cooking these chickens. Also, part of it is that she wants to use the whole chicken. So she's then making soups or whatever one makes with whatever's leftover from a roast chicken. I don't know. I have zero interest in roasting a chicken myself.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes.

[Elizabeth Craft]

But I love reading about Sarah roasting chicken. It's very entertaining.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I agree. I signed up for it. And no one is less likely to roast a chicken than you and me, Elizabeth. And yet it's very calming and peaceful to read about it. And can I also say, like, you're an obliger. Sarah's an obliger. And this kind of substack is useful because it creates accountability. Because you feel like, well, I have to roast a chicken using some new recipe and try to use it up because I have to write a substack. Yes. Post about it. Because she's at least got you and me reading about it.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, she's got a lot of subscribers. Might I just say she knew that she was doing it partly for accountability.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Interesting.

[Elizabeth Craft]

A way that she furthered the accountability is that she's numbering them like 1 of 52, 2 of 52, 3 of 52. And that really puts on the pressure to stay accountable.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's going to be so obvious if you. That is the kind of very small detail that could actually make a huge difference in how you follow through with something. Because I'm often so surprised how these very small shifts, just a little detail, can make a very significant difference in how consistently somebody can stick to something. And that's a great example of knowing yourself and saying, how can I do this in a way that's fun for me? And then I'm going to execute on the way that I want and share it with other people. I'm sure she'll get tons of ideas.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Oh, she's already gotten so many recipes from listeners and readers. She's got a whole stockpile that she's going through. So yeah. So everyone subscribe to Chickening out on Substack. I promise you'll love it.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, maybe that's there's the kind of people who love the idea of a roast chicken and the kind of people who don't love the idea of a roast chicken. But I guess we like the idea of a roast chicken. We don't like the idea of actually cooking a roast chicken. Excellent. Well, good luck. That's another fun thing she's doing. That's wonderful. So gold star to Sarah.

[Elizabeth Craft]

What is the resource this week?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Okay, so move 26 in 26 has begun. We mentioned that before. So if you are participating with us this year to move for 26 minutes a day in 2026, the Happier app is a really easy way to support that habit. And it has all kinds of tracking tools so you can pick the one that you like. Some people like certain kinds of tracking tools. Some people like, others a lot of people like. Don't break the chain. The streak approach is super popular. Some people like numbers trackers. They like to see the numbers pile up. Some people like a one sentence journal where they could take a note. A photo log is probably the easiest way. You just take a photo. Accountability partners. This is a very effective thing if you have an accountability partner. The challenge is free, so with or without this subscription. And so stay tuned because next month there will be a new feature to the app that's gonna make movement even easier and more fun. So you can check out all of that if you go to happiercast.com move 26 more movement for all. How's it going for you, Elizabeth?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I've made it so far every day of the month.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yep, me too. And what are we reading? Alyssa asks, what are you reading?

[Elizabeth Craft]

I am reading the Wonder Boy of Whistlestop by Fannie Flagg.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I am reading Christmas in Austin by Ben Markovitz. And that's it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Consider the Stumptisch. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now is the perfect, perfect time. You can listen ad free. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or go to lemonadapremium.com and here's.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Your weekly rhyming reminder. If you love the show, leave a review to let us know. You know, I started rating and reviewing myself. That's on my 26 for 26 list.

[Elizabeth Craft]

That's right. Until next week. I'm Elizabeth Craft.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I'm Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward, Elizabeth. I have to say that I'm a little bit appalled at myself that after so many years of asking people to rate and review and knowing both as an author and as a podcaster, how helpful it is when people engage review. And of course, if they give you five stars and all that, it never occurred to me that, like, that was something that I should be doing. I don't know how that was. I did it occasionally, but I didn't make a habit of it. So I'm really looking forward to sort of shining a spotlight on the things that I love by rating and reviewing.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yes, I think it just feels cumbersome somehow to go through the process to rate and review.

[Gretchen Rubin]

But it's like, and I know that.

[Elizabeth Craft]

If I do it five times, it'll be the easiest thing in the world.

[Gretchen Rubin]

That's the thing. It's like, if you do it the five times, nothing is easier. It's just doing this first few times and like, making it into something that's easy.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

From the onward project.

[Elizabeth Craft]

Hi, Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here we host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving advice, so we wanted to get a few tips from you. You know, Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes. What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Craig and Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life. What would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever you get podcasts you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships Keke Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.