More Happier: Do You Need Help Taking a Good Photo? Or Making a Tough Decision?

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Episode: More Happier: Do You Need Help Taking a Good Photo? Or Making a Tough Decision?
Date: December 27, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft

---

Episode Overview

In this lively "More Happier" episode, Gretchen Rubin and her sister/co-host Elizabeth Craft dive into small joys and practical wisdom that enrich day-to-day happiness. They share personal stories, laugh about viral photo hacks, and continue their ongoing conversation about how to make tough decisions. The tone is warm, candid, and gently humorous, with an emphasis on small changes and self-knowledge as drivers of happiness.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. What’s Making Us Happier This Week?

Gift Lists – A Source of Happiness for Elizabeth

• Elizabeth shares her unexpected joy in both reading and making gift lists, appreciating the creativity and personalization these offer.
  • "I love perusing a gift list whether I have any intention of, you know, buying something or not." (02:57)
• She prefers curated lists from individuals over brands, as it offers a window into things she wouldn’t discover otherwise.
• Screenshotting gifts to remember them, even if she almost never buys impulsively.
• Gretchen links this to the idea of “healthy treats” being different for everyone—what's a cheerful browsing session for one may spark impulsive spending for another.
  • “Something could be a healthy treat for one person and not a healthy treat for another person.” (05:35)

Making Gift Lists – A Year-Long Practice

• Elizabeth notes how making gift lists keeps her paying attention to what she likes throughout the year, enhancing her daily experience.
  • "Making gift lists makes me happier...it makes me really pay attention to what I like, and that enhances the experience just of living.” (06:24)
• Gretchen enjoys making suggestions so much she sometimes becomes a "happiness bully," especially about products she loves, like the phone bandolier and electric hard-boiled egg cooker.

The Simple Joy of Field Trips

• Gretchen shares her happiness observing schoolchildren on field trips at the Metropolitan Museum, reminiscing on how those excursions felt transformative and fun as a kid.
  • "The idea that you have a field trip, it’s so great. You’re out of the usual routine of school. You’re going someplace interesting or at least different." (09:05)
• Elizabeth echoes this joy, even feeling excitement for her own son’s school trips.
• Brief reflection on the responsibility of being a field trip chaperone – both agree it’s a stressful, high-alert job.
• Gold star to parents who do overnight chaperoning:
  • “That is truly next level parenting.” (12:07)

Happiness Project Course (Short Mention)

• Gretchen plugs her new course for 2026: a guided, self-paced year-long “happiness project” that covers different monthly themes with habits, worksheets, and reflection prompts. (12:33)

---

2. Photo Hack: The “Prancing” TikTok Trend

Segment Start: 17:41

• Gretchen brings up a hilarious photo Elizabeth sent, asking for backstory on the technique.
• Elizabeth explains the viral TikTok “prancing” technique for taking fun, natural group photos.
  • "The idea is to get a good photo...where you look like you’re having fun and smiling and natural...you should get in a row, potentially link arms, and move toward the camera, prancing and laughing." (18:16)
• Her group's attempt was a comic failure; the photos “did not look natural” but were “hilarious.”
• Discussion pivots to how the idea of “prancing” itself is joyous and might work as an icebreaker or party game.
• Gretchen suggests “prancing” as an absurd way to break tension during an argument:
  • “If you’re in the middle of a big fight, just like, say, okay, we’re gonna take a prancing break and prance for 10 seconds. Would Jamie do this? No, he would not. But... I think it would change the mood for sure.” (21:40)
• Elizabeth invites listener tips for successfully executing the prancing photo, acknowledging their technique might need work.
• Fun aside: Gretchen delights in the word “prancing” and links it to the quirky internet term “glazing.” (21:10, 21:36)

---

3. Spotlight on a Tool

Moment of Happiness Page-A-Day Calendar

• Gretchen highlights her refreshed 2026 “Moment of Happiness” calendar, featuring daily quotes about happiness and human nature.
  • “I love putting this together...it’s a page a day with quotations from writers, artists, thinkers.” (22:39)
• Elizabeth reminisces about giving their dad a Gary Larson “Far Side” page-a-day calendar each year: “He loved ripping off every day and having a new cartoon.” (23:13)

---

4. Making Tough Decisions: A New Question to Ask

Segment Start: 27:42

Established Wisdom:

• “Choose the bigger life.”
• “Step into the future.”
• Be aware of “false choices” (where you believe you’re forced to choose between two things but could do both).

New Insight:

If You’re Concerned Enough to Ask, Pay Attention to That Concern

• Gretchen shares a personal anecdote: her dog Barnaby was whimpering, and although he had a vet appointment the next day, she deliberated whether to take him in immediately.
• The emergency vet advised:
  • “If you’re worried enough to call me, you probably might want to bring him in.” (30:00 approx.)
• Gretchen realized the question itself was a signal—since she’s not a natural worrier, her concern was a clear indicator to take action.
  • “If you’re asking, maybe you should think about the fact that you are asking, and just the question itself is the information that you need to make a decision.” (31:25)
• Barnaby did need urgent care for a burst cyst, underscoring the point.

Elizabeth’s Take:

• Reminds listeners: Don’t judge a decision solely by its result. A good process can lead to a bad outcome and vice versa.
  • “The result doesn’t mean something was a good or bad decision... You make the decision and what will happen will happen.” (32:27)
• Cites their father-in-law’s advice: “You can’t judge the quality of a decision by the outcome.” (32:44)

---

5. Secret of Adulthood

Segment Start: 33:07

• With some life questions, “the very inclination to consider the question suggests the answer.”
  • For example, if you’re asking “Should I take an umbrella?”, the answer is probably yes.
  • For others, like “Should I hit send on this angry email?”, the answer is probably no.
  • Gretchen’s classic warning: “You’ll never regret the email you don’t send. Don’t do it.” (34:07)

---

6. Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Elizabeth on gift lists:
  • “Making gift lists makes me happier...it makes me really pay attention to what I like, and that enhances the experience just of living.” (06:24)
• Gretchen on happiness treats:
  • “Something could be a healthy treat for one person and not a healthy treat for another person.” (05:35)
• Gretchen on field trips:
  • "When you’re young, the idea that you have a field trip, it’s so great. You’re out of the usual routine of school. You’re going someplace interesting or at least different." (09:05)
• Gretchen on tough decisions:
  • “If you’re worried enough to call me, you probably might want to bring him in.” (Paraphrasing the vet, 30:00)
• Elizabeth on decision outcomes:
  • “The result doesn’t mean something was a good or bad decision...” (32:27)

---

7. Engagement with Listeners

• Elizabeth invites tips from listeners who have succeeded at the prancing photo technique. (22:11)
• Both welcome ideas for other “hard decision” questions or tools. (32:22)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Gift Lists & Healthy Treats: 02:47 – 07:33
• Field Trips & Chaperoning: 08:14 – 12:07
• Prancing Photo Hack: 17:41 – 22:32
• Moment of Happiness Calendar: 22:39 – 23:56
• Making Tough Decisions (Barnaby story): 27:42 – 32:10
• Secret of Adulthood: 33:07 – 34:07

---

Tone and Atmosphere

The conversation is playful and affectionate, blending practical tips with stories of everyday life. Both hosts openly reference their quirks, successes, and “failures”—especially around viral trends and family traditions—creating an inviting, relatable tone. Humor—in everything from failed prancing photos to self-admitted “happiness bullying”—keeps the episode light, while the deeper reflections on decision-making provide substance.

---

Takeaways

• Happiness can be found in small rituals and explorations—browsing a gift list, visiting a museum, making a game out of photo-taking.
• Self-awareness helps tailor joy and avoid pitfalls (like impulse spending or false choices).
• When making hard decisions, sometimes the fact that you’re “agonizing” is itself the answer—listening to your concern or inclination can provide needed clarity.
• Don’t judge your choices solely by the outcome; focus on good decision-making processes.
• Sometimes, the best way to turn a tense moment or awkward group photo into a happy memory is to "prance"—literally or metaphorically.

---

Interested in more? Visit happiercast.com for resources, courses, and Gretchen's calendar, and share your own prancing photo successes—or decision-making tips—with the hosts!

Transcript

[Elizabeth]

Did you know that infants are ready to learn sign language, 2 year olds are ready to learn the basics of science, and 3 year olds are ready to learn coding. Your child is ready to learn. And at Primrose schools, teachers make the most of this time by creating a joyful, purposeful learning experience unlike any other.

[Gretchen]

For instance, have you heard of the Primrose Friends? In every Primrose School classroom, teachers use these 12 lovable puppets to make character development joyful, meaningful and memorable. From exploring generosity with Benjamin the Bear to practicing honesty with Peanut the Pony, every friend plays a special part in helping children learn important values while having plenty of fun along the way. We can all use some friends like that. You can learn [e-mail] now enrolling infants through children age 5. That's primroseschools.com for more information. Elizabeth when we're together for the holidays, we end up going to Whole Foods Market every day. There's so many things that we need. Like we're going to a party and one of us needs to bring a gift for the host. They have these expert curated cheeses and crackers that everybody loves. They have excellent limited time seasonal desserts like holiday rum cake, creamy Buche de Noel, which is one of our family's favorites, and more. Plus they have these show stopping things for the table like bone in spiral cut ham.

[Elizabeth]

Well, Gretch, I love that they have heat in each sides from the prepared foods department because you know that I am not much of a cook. So heat and serve is something I can do. And they have floral Gretchen, so you can bring a nice bouquet of flowers. If you're going to someone's house, shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market. Your holiday headquarters, Lemonada.

[Gretchen]

Hello, we're here for more Happier, a podcast where we get happier. Join us for some weekend listening. It's observations and reflections, but with a looser vibe. Hey, Elizabeth.

[Elizabeth]

Hey, Gretch.

[Gretchen]

Today we'll talk about a photo hack from Elizabeth that made me laugh out loud and a question to ask yourself that can help you make a tough decision. But first, something making us happier. Elizabeth, what's something making you happier?

[Elizabeth]

Well, Gretch, one thing I have realized over the holiday season is how much I love gift lists. I don't know if I really knew this about myself.

[Gretchen]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth]

But I love perusing a gift list whether I have any intention of, you know, buying something or not.

[Gretchen]

Mm. And do you like it when it comes from a person? Like it's somebody's substack writer and it's their gift list or even if it was a major brand or a big store's gift list. Do you distinguish?

[Elizabeth]

Yes, I definitely prefer it if it's from someone specific. So if it's from, like, there's a substack I like called the love list. And if it's from her, I'll know that there'll be interesting things to see on the list. And it just gives me, like, a window into things I would never see otherwise. I think a lot of this is because we do so much less shopping in person now. So you're not browsing. You tend to be looking for things. So it's kind of like a gift list is a way to browse. For instance, one list I looked at had an item called personalized candlesticks. And I thought, well, what is that? Yeah. And sure enough, I clicked on it and there are candlesticks you can order that they will make to sort of look like a person. And I thought, well, what a fun gift that would be to someone who just got engaged, you know, his and her personalized candlestick.

[Gretchen]

You love a personalized gift. That is your thing. I do love personalization. Yeah. I can't even envision what a personalized candlestick is like. I'm intrigued.

[Elizabeth]

Well, you could if you had looked at this gift list.

[Gretchen]

Yeah.

[Elizabeth]

And you know what I'll do sometimes, Gretchen, is I'll take a screenshot of something where it says the name so that I know later I can go back and find it if I really want to look for a gift. Because that is an issue of just finding then what you've discovered over these many gift lists.

[Gretchen]

Now, let me ask you this. On the other side of things, do you feel like it makes you more consumerist or more acquisitive to look at these gift lists or not really.

[Elizabeth]

I think for me, it does not. Because like you, I'm an underbuyer. You know, I have a high bar to actually buy something. So, no, I don't. I do think that would be something that could happen to many others. Like Sarah, my writing partner, is probably someone who she shouldn't look at gift lists because she oh, well, that does sound like a great product. I should get that. Whereas I'll say, wow, that looks like a great product. And I'll take a screenshot and then think about it for months. I won't just buy impulsively, really ever. Rarely.

[Gretchen]

Well, this is a good example of the idea that something could be a healthy treat for one person and Not a healthy treat for another person. Because we talk about the importance of giving ourselves healthy treats, because when we give more to ourselves, we can ask more from ourselves. So it's really helpful to give yourself a lot of healthy treats. And this is something where for you, it's a healthy treat, you enjoy it, you get that browsing. Like, what in the world do people come up with that kind of fun feeling? And then maybe you'll come across the perfect gift to give to somebody in six months. So for you, it is a healthy treat, whereas for someone else, it might really tip them into impulse purchasing that they would really come to regret. And so it's a good example of you really have to think about yourself and whether something is going to be something that makes you happier or in the end, doesn't really make you happier.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah. And Gretch, I would just add to this thing that makes me happier is I've also found over the years that making gift lists makes me happier. I love how we make a gift list. Sarah and I make a gift list. And then throughout the year, it makes me really pay attention to what I like, and that enhances the experience just of living. So, yeah, I do love a gift list.

[Gretchen]

That's great. I love that you love a gift list. I had not thought of that. Now I think I'm gonna consider gift list in a different frame of mind the next time I dive into the gift list territory.

[Elizabeth]

Okay.

[Gretchen]

I like making gift lists. Cause I love suggesting things.

[Elizabeth]

Yes.

[Gretchen]

If I say to somebody, you're gonna love this, and then they get it. And you know how I can get really pushy with things like the bandolier? I would like badger strangers trying to get them to get a bandolier. Or my external screen or my electric footwarmer. Or remember when I went through that period of the electric hard boiled egg cooker? I was really pushing that hard because I love that feeling of I'm suggesting something that's gonna make you happy. So I like making a gift list for that reason, but I don't enjoy reading them as much. But maybe I will now that you've reframed it for me.

[Elizabeth]

Yes. On the bandolier front, I have stood there with strangers and taken them to the bandolier site and watched them browse there. So.

[Gretchen]

Yes. And if people don't know what a bandolier is, well. And actually, I think Apple is coming out with its own version of this, which is going to be interesting to see if that takes off. But it's basically like a Smartphone case that then you wear around your neck. And mine also has a pocket on it where I have credit cards and my, like a little bit of cash and my insurance card. But you just walk around with your phone around your neck. I walk around my apartment with my.

[Elizabeth]

Phone around my neck at all times. If I'm moving, the bandolier is on. Yeah, but what about you, Gretch? What's making you happier?

[Gretchen]

Oh, well, this is something that I realized I get a big kick out of. So, you know, I go to the Metropolitan Museum every day. And one of the things that I love about going every single day is you really notice how things are different at different times. And there are days, I think it's usually a Monday or Tuesday where big groups of school children will come in. So I'll walk over there and I'll see the big yellow buses and I'll walk around and they'll be like 15 kids sitting cross legged on the floor drawing, or 20 kids gathered around a docent who's telling them about Degas or ancient Egypt or whatever. And, you know, they're always kind of paying attention, kind of horsing around when they're moving from place to place. They're really loud and chattering and you can just tell they're so excited. And this makes me think of the joy of the field trip. Because when you're young, the idea that you have a field trip, it's so great. You're out of the usual routine of school. You're going someplace interesting or at least different. Even if you don't find it that interesting, it always just felt very special and elevated. I would look forward to it for so long in advance. And there's just that feeling of the field trip. And Elizabeth, I think the closest that I've come to the feeling of the field trip as an adult lately is our reading retreat. That to me had field trip energy, maybe because we just turned ourselves over to it. There was nothing really more to be done once we got where we were going in the way that a field trip, it's like somebody's leading you around and being like, look at this, look at that. You're not making plans, you're not looking at a map yourself. It's sort of being self guided is great, but sometimes it's really nice not to be self guided. Anyway. It just makes me happy to think of all these kids in there having their field trips and that they're having a great time in this beautiful museum that I love so much. And it's Interesting. You often will read accounts of adults when they will say, I remember the time when my school trip went to the Museum of Natural History and I realized how fascinating rocks were. Or I remember when we went on the field trip to the Nelson Atkins Museum and I realized how much I wanted to study sculpture or whatever. There are moments in adult life where these can be very transformative, and I don't think we recognize it from the outside. I don't think you see the light bulb going on over some little kid's head, but it might be. And at the very least, they're having fun.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah, Gretch, I totally share this. And also, I've noticed that when I get a permission slip for Jack, you know, sign a permission slip because they're going on this field trip, I'll get a jolt of excitement from his field trip. You know, even if I'm not a chaperone, which I haven't been since grade school, I'm excited that he's going somewhere. I feel like that crackling energy of field trip. So I think you're absolutely right. There's something about it that just feels like anything could happen. And yet it feels very safe.

[Gretchen]

Yes. Yeah. Okay. So side note, do you enjoy being a field trip chaperone?

[Elizabeth]

No. It is too much responsibility. I mean, I was like, oh, my gosh, I don't have the temperament to stay calm.

[Gretchen]

I know I always signed up if I could because I always wanted to do it if I could. But I know I was always just, oh, my gosh, I just have to be alert at every second, and it's not like anything is even happening. But, yeah, I did have that feeling of, oh, my goodness, this is a heavy mantle that I wear of responsibility.

[Elizabeth]

Yes. Before COVID Adam was set to go on the two or three day trip with the kids. He was one of the parents. Maybe there were six or eight parents. And I was like, wow, that's going to be an experience. But sadly, the trip got canceled and they never redid it. So he didn't get that experience.

[Gretchen]

Yeah. Well, let's throw a drive by gold star at the parents to do the overnight chaperoning, because that is truly next level parenting. I have to say, I never consider doing that. I'm not cut out for that. But wait, there's something else making me happier, which is my own course. So if anyone has wanted to do a happiness project of their own, I have this new course for 2026 that really lays out a clear way to do it. So, you know, by a Happiness project. I mean, you take the year, you focus on a different theme each month and you aim to build small concrete habits that support a happier, healthier, more productive, more creative life theme by theme. And it's a self paced framework, so it's very easy to follow each month. There's guided worksheets, there's reflection questions, there's prompts to really help you make kind of the right resolutions for you and then stick to them. There's going to be a kickoff call. I cannot wait for that. I always, as you know, listen, nothing makes me happier than talking to people about what they want to do to make themselves happier. We are only a few days away from the new year, so there are only a few more days to get 30% off before the price goes up. January 1st. It's [e-mail] course. I, I'm really looking forward to it. It's gonna be super fun.

[Elizabeth]

Yes. I'm sure we'll hear from a lot of listeners, listeners about ways that the course is making them happier.

[Gretchen]

Yes.

[Elizabeth]

Okay, Gretch, coming up, there's something you've been meaning to ask me about a photo technique. But first, this break. Are you a trailblazer, a risk taker, someone with countless tales of epic adventure? Well, I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. Even the boldest among us started small, daring themselves to reach greater goals each day. If you're looking to take on a challenge like that, the Defender is too. It's a vehicle built for those capable of great things. Whether you're charting new territory or just escaping the city for the weekend.

[Gretchen]

The Defender, engineered to meet challenges head on so you can explore with confidence. An icon reimagined, designed for a new generation of explorers. Choose from the Defender 90, 110 or 130. Seating up to eight adventurers with a tough tested exterior, a modern and functional interior, and intelligent tech like 3D surround cameras and the Pivi Pro infotainment system. Every journey feels limitless because like you, the Defender is capable of great things. Build your defender [e-mail] you're ready for the holidays. The turkey's been going since this morning. The sides are perfectly seasoned. The out of towners have a bed, couch or futon to crash on for the night. All that's left to take care of is your peace of mind. That's why ADT is here.

[Elizabeth]

With their professionally installed home security systems, you get protection that helps you feel safe when every second counts. Count on ADT visit ADT.com or call 1-800-ADT ASAP. When every second counts, count on this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. You cannot even think of starting a business these days without having a website. And Squarespace makes it so easy. I've noticed, Gretch, people don't even say, do you have a website? They say, have you started your Squarespace? It's so great because you have everything you need for your business right there. You can sell things, you can post things, you can collect information. It's just so easy. And it's easy to set up, which is key to this whole enterprise.

[Gretchen]

Yes, they have cutting edge design tools like their blueprint AI builder that just asks a few questions about what vibe you want and what you want to do and it'll generate a whole custom layout that actually looks like whatever you want. You hardly have to tweak anything. Plus, with Squarespace, their email campaigns are built right in, so once people join your list, you can send newsletter or updates without leaving the platform. Head to squarespace.com happy for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code happy to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Elizabeth]

The holidays are such a joyful time, but let's be honest, they can also be a lot. There's so much to cook, so much to clean, and unfortunately, so much food waste.

[Gretchen]

You know, we're always thinking about the small things we can do that make an impact not just for our own happiness, but for the planet too. And that's why I'm such a big fan of my mill Food Recycler Mill is odorless and fully automated, eliminating all the pain points associated with old fashioned compost pails and smelly garbage cans. It makes keeping food out of the trash as easy as dropping it in. It can be hectic in my home or on the holidays, but mill keeps me keeping my cool when I'm hosting. With all the food prep and guests arriving, I never have to stress about the trash. Plus it looks super cool and modern in my kitchen.

[Elizabeth]

Add MIL to your wish list or gift one. Now get up to $200 off during their biggest sale of the season. Thursday, November 20th through Monday, December 1st. Miss the sale, you can still get $75 off with code HAPPY. Visit mil.com happy that's mill.com H A P P Y okay Gretch, we're back. There's something you've been meaning to ask me.

[Gretchen]

Okay Lizzie, you sent me this photo of you with some friends and it was very funny. I mean, I laughed out loud when I saw it. And you were like, oh, yeah, we were doing this thing to get a good photo, and it didn't really work. Now it really worked, and it made a hilarious photograph, but I don't think it was the effect that you were going for. But then you. I forgot to follow up and ask you, what were you trying to do?

[Elizabeth]

Okay, so this is what I would call, I guess, a TikTok phenomenon called prancing.

[Gretchen]

I mean, okay, how much I love the word prancing already. Anything prancing. Sign me up. So what is this prancing?

[Elizabeth]

So the idea is to get a good photo with friends where you look like you're having fun and smiling and natural. You're not just all sitting there, you know, posed and stiff that you should get in a row. Now, you can't do it with too many people, or it starts to get hard, which we discovered, and potentially link arms and move toward the camera, prancing and laughing. And the idea is the person should take a lot of pictures and they capture you all not looking like you're prancing, but just like you're walking or moving and smiling, and that it's supposed to look very natural.

[Gretchen]

Well, okay, so I think the reason that you're supposed to link arms is because otherwise you would be tempted to.

[Elizabeth]

Have your hand in front of your.

[Gretchen]

Chest in that prancing. Like, I am prancing.

[Elizabeth]

Right? Like, you're. You're.

[Gretchen]

Like you're Rudolph. Okay, yeah, but wait. And so explain how this played out in practice. I get the concept.

[Elizabeth]

So I had some friends over, and we were like, let's try to do a prancing photo.

[Gretchen]

Who knew about it? Who knew about it? So who had TikTok? Everybody.

[Elizabeth]

We all knew about when I. I think I was the one who brought it up. And everyone instantly was like, yes, let's. Let's prance. And we had one of the husbands stand in front of us, like, down, you know, quite a ways away. And then we all got close, and then we pranced forward, you know, toward the guy with the camera. And we did it once, and we're like, okay, these photos are terrible. So we did it again and again. It did not work out. The photos just. They were hilarious, however. But we did not look natural. We looked the opposite of natural. We looked like we were, you know, bananas.

[Gretchen]

So what this is making me think, because, Elizabeth, I know you love a party game. A party game that would be very funny is you give Somebody a like an action verb to enact, like prance, and then they have to, like, prance. Or maybe it's. They have to do it. And you guess the word by doing the action. Because I just think just the idea that anybody's prancing is just that alone is making me laugh. I think if I needed to take a good photograph, you know how you have to smile naturally. And I always think of Jamie doing I am lord of the dance in his boxers, which happened the first year we were married, and I laugh about it to this day, and he refuses to do it again. I can think of you prancing, because I have never even seen it. But just the idea of what you would look like prancing. I picture you with a red nose and a hairband that has reindeer ears coming out of it. And then we're handsing and Gretch, now.

[Elizabeth]

That you're saying it, prance is a great word. I need to add that to my list of words that I love. Yeah.

[Gretchen]

Well, you know what it kind of reminds me of is glazing. The way it's used with AI, which is that AI often has a tendency to be very sycophantic and complimentary in an over the top way. And the term for that is glazing. And I think that's such a funny word for that behavior. But prancing, I mean, it just makes me think of reindeers. Prancer. It just makes me think of people just being so. So goofy.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah. It's hard not to smile when you're prancing.

[Gretchen]

Yes. Right. Maybe this is the kind of thing you know about how to fight. Right. That's one of my aims, is how to fight right? Is if you're in the middle of a big fight, just like, say, okay, we're gonna take a prancing break and prance for 10 seconds. Would Jamie do this? No, he would not. If he did, if even I did it, I think it would change the mood for sure.

[Elizabeth]

Okay, let me know how that goes. I want to hear what happens when you prance and then argue.

[Gretchen]

I'm gonna report back, and the next time I try to take your picture, Elizabeth, I'm just gonna say prance. And whether you prance or not, I think you will smile.

[Elizabeth]

And also, I would love to hear from listeners who have successfully been employing the same technique, tell me what I'm missing. Why did this not work when I did it with my friends?

[Gretchen]

Well, do you think how many people were doing it?

[Elizabeth]

I think there were at least Four of us. Maybe it was just too many, I don't know. But nobody looked right.

[Gretchen]

Okay. Interesting. All right. Okay.

[Elizabeth]

All right, Gretchen, what is our spotlight on a tool this week?

[Gretchen]

Okay. My Moment of Happiness calendar. It starts next week. Week. This is a page a day calendar. It's. You know how much I love a quotation. And so this is a page a day with quotations from writers, artists, thinkers. I love putting this together. The 2026 version is refreshed with new quotations. I would love for people to fill their 2026 with beautiful reflections from great thinkers about happiness and human nature. You can get [e-mail] New I love a page a Day calendar.

[Elizabeth]

Yes. Well, of course, Gretchen. This makes me think of the page a Day Gary Larson calendars that we got every year for dad for Christmas. He loved Gary Larson and he loved ripping off every day and having a new cartoon.

[Gretchen]

Yes. Gary Larson is the. He does the far side, if you don't know it. And they are just absolutely brilliant. And yeah, that was a traditional gift. We would give him a new one every single year. It was like, okay, that's a gift that we don't have to do any thinking of. Of. Yeah. So that I think, partly inspired by our family love of page a day calendars. That made me want to do a page a day calendar, too.

[Elizabeth]

All right, well, I feel like these calendars always sell out on your site, so people should get them now.

[Gretchen]

Absolutely.

[Elizabeth]

Okay, Gretch, coming up, there's something you've been meaning to tell me, but first, this break.

[Gretchen]

As a business owner myself, I know that owning a business means long days and lots of hard work. You need to be able to adapt to new challenges as they pop up, and you certainly need the right technology to help you do that. Spectrum Business keeps businesses of all sizes connected seamlessly with Internet, advanced wi, fi, phone, TV and mobile services. Spectrum Business has tailored connectivity solutions and packages built for your business's budget. No contracts, no added fees. And right now, business owners can get free business Internet advantage forever when you add four or more mobile lines. Visit spectrum.com freeforlife to learn how you can get business Internet free forever. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. Elizabeth. When we're together for the holidays, we end up going to Whole Foods Market every day. There's so many things that we need. Like, we're going to a party and one of us needs to bring a gift for the host. They have these expert curated cheeses and crackers that everybody loves. They have excellent limited time Seasonal desserts like holiday rum cake, creamy buche de Noel, which is one of our family's favorites, and more. Plus they have these show stopping things for the table like bone in spiral cut ham.

[Elizabeth]

Well, Gretch, I love that they have heat and eat sides from the prepared foods department because you know that I am not much of a cook. So heat and serve is something I can do. And they have floral Gretchen, so you can bring a nice bouquet of flowers. If you're going to someone's house, shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters.

[Gretchen]

You know, when it comes to holiday gift giving, the hope is that we're giving things that people really love. Beautiful, timeless pieces that they'll wear for years. That's why, Elizabeth, you and I love Quince. I mean, from Mongolian cashmere sweaters to Italian wool coats, everything Quince does is premium quality at a price that actually makes sense. Quince has something for everyone. It has silk tops and skirts for dressing up, perfectly cut denim for everyday wear and outerwear that actually keeps you warm.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah, Scrutch, I gave myself a gift from Quince. I just recently got the featherless quilted long puffer jacket in silk and white. So it sort of elevates all of my outfits as we go into winter. I am loving it. Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with quints. Go to quints.com Gretchen for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Gretchen to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Gretchen there is one thing that all people on earth have in common. We move through the world in a human body. Bodies ache. They bleed, they desire. They hold the stories of our lives.

[Gretchen]

International Planned Parenthood Federation or ippf is sharing some of those stories from around the world. Read them [e-mail] everybody.

[Elizabeth]

All right, Gretch, we are back. Now, what have you been meaning to tell me? You tell me so much.

[Gretchen]

I know.

[Elizabeth]

Here is something you have not yet told me.

[Gretchen]

Yes, Elizabeth, I realize that without intending to, we've started a series of questions about how to make a tough decision. So, for instance, I have the idea of choose the bigger life. If you're deciding between an apple and an orange and the pros and cons are balanced, you think, well, let me choose the bigger life. And a lot of times that really helps people make a tough decision.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah, I mean, we have heard from dozens, if not hundreds of listeners about how choosing the bigger life has helped them make decisions. There's also Gretchen, step into the future. Which is what I always say. What's going to help me step into the future if I do X or Y or Z?

[Gretchen]

Yeah, and that's a great question. Well, and another thing that I really find in my own life, because this is something that I often will fall into, It's a loophole that I fall into, which is the false choice, which is when I tell myself, well, I have no time to go to the dentist because I'm so busy writing. And you're like, no, you have time to go to the dentist and write. So that's a false choice. But sometimes I think even with a big decision, it's like when someone says to themselves something like, do I live a healthy life or do I keep up an active social life and do things that make me happy and entertained? And you're like, well, isn't that a false choice? Cause can't you have a life full of fun and also be healthy? So that's a false choice. So you ask yourself, have I set up a false choice? So, Elizabeth, I thought of another one.

[Elizabeth]

Oh, good.

[Gretchen]

Okay. So this came to me because our dog Barnaby was whimpering. So Barnaby is a very relaxed dog generally. And he had had this issue with something on his back. And so we had made a veter appointment for him the next day. But the night before his appointment, he was just whimpering. He was just lying there calmly. And every once in a while, he would sort of whine or whimper. He wasn't pacing around restless, but he definitely was whimpering. And that's something that he doesn't usually do. And I said to Jamie, well, I wonder if he's really in pain. I wonder if that thing hurts him. And Jamie said, well, it doesn't look like it hurts him. I'm like, no, but he is just whimpering and whining, and he usually never does that. And if he were in pain, how would he communicate that to us? You know, I mean, other than, like, going over to us and putting his paw on our hand and looking deep into our eyes, which he wouldn't do. So I'm like, I think that this is what it would look like if he were in pain. I'm worried. So he said, well, okay, why don't you call the emergency vet care and I'll take him if they say he should come in. So I call, I talk to this very nice vet, and I describe what's going on, and I'm like, you know, he's got an appointment in the morning, and I just can't tell whether it's bad enough that we need to bring him in. Now. What do you think? And this is what she said, and this is what I think is the really important idea. She said, well, you know, over the phone, I really can't advise you about how serious the problem is, but I can say that if you're worried enough to call me, you probably might want to bring him in. And the minute she said that, I was like, obviously, I should bring him in. And here's the thing. I'm not a worrier. I do think there are some people who get really, really worried very, very easily. And maybe they know that about themselves. They know. Well, sometimes, you know, I do tend to react very strongly or I tend to worry about things that end up being nothing. And people say to me, that's nothing. And yet I worry. And then it turns out it's nothing or whatever. That is not my experience. My experience is I tend not to worry. If anything, maybe I should worry more. So when she said that, I was like, okay, I'm worried. And that's not likely for me to do, therefore, we should bring him in, because I am worried enough to call. And I just thought that that was so helpful. Because if you're asking, maybe you should think about the fact that you are asking, and just the question itself is the information that you need to make a decision.

[Elizabeth]

Yes, that's super helpful. And Gretchen, off topic, but I have to ask, what happened with Barnaby?

[Gretchen]

Well, so he had a cyst. That's what we had noticed. And it had burst. And so that's what was causing him pain. So he did have to have stitches, and then he had medication for the next several days and antibiotics and pain reliever and stuff. So it was really, really good that we took him in. It was the right thing to do. And he probably was in a lot of pain. And with something like that, you're really better off getting it taken care of. So it's very funny now because he's got this shaved area on this patch on his back. And just. It doesn't bother him anymore, but it looks. It looks very comical.

[Elizabeth]

All right, well, I love that we are honing in on how to make hard decisions because it's just going to keep happening in life. Decisions happen over and over again. So I need all the tools I can get.

[Gretchen]

I know if anybody has any other ones, like, good questions to ask. I think, you know, there can never be enough.

[Elizabeth]

One thing I find so helpful with decisions is to remember, and we've talked about this, that the result doesn't mean something was a good or bad decision. Yes, you make the decision and what will happen will happen. But it could have been a good decision and not have a good result.

[Gretchen]

My father in law talks about that often that you can't judge the quality of a decision by the outcome because so many things can happen that just don't go your way. But that doesn't mean that your process was bad or that you should have made a better decision or that you made the wrong decision. So, yeah, that's a very helpful thing to remember.

[Elizabeth]

Okay, Gretch, finally, what is our secret of adulthood this week?

[Gretchen]

Well, this is very closely related to the vet observation. It's kind of actually the same point, but made in a different way. So it struck me differently. And the secret of adulthood is with some questions, the very inclination to consider the question suggests the answer. So I had thought of this, but not in the vet context. So here are the examples. For instance, for these questions, the answer is probably yes. Am I a decent parent? Do I have a drinking problem? Am I carrying too much? Should I take two trips? Should I bring an umbrella? Should I finally get a dog? But for other questions, such as, are these ingredients healthy? Should I stay up late to watch one more episode? Or should I hit send on this angry email? The answer is probably no.

[Elizabeth]

Love that. Especially hitting send on the angry email.

[Gretchen]

Oh, Elizabeth, we have talked about that so many times.

[Elizabeth]

Don't do it.

[Gretchen]

You'll never regret the email you don't send. Don't do it. Don't do it. You will think, oh, I just want to get this off my chest. I just want to get this done. And the minute you send it, you regret it. Yep. So, Elizabeth, are you feeling happier?

[Elizabeth]

Yes, I am feeling happier. Thank you to Chuck. Bye, Gretch.

[Gretchen]

Bye, Elizabeth. The best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. But, Elizabeth, maybe the thing about a prancing photo is it's not that it turns into a good photo, but that it just turns into such a hilariously bad photo, which is what I feel like you sent me.

[Elizabeth]

But no, Gretch, there are many good prancing photos out there. I've seen them.

[Gretchen]

Okay, well, clearly there's a secret ingredient that you guys didn't know about. Maybe listeners will tell us. I really want to know, and I want to prance with you. The next time we're together for sure.

[Elizabeth]

Absolutely.

[Gretchen]

From the onward Project Hi Gretchen, Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here.

[Elizabeth]

We host a new podcast called IMO.

[Gretchen]

With Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We know you're the queen of giving.

[Elizabeth]

Advice, so we wanted to get a.

[Gretchen]

Few tips from you.

[Elizabeth]

You know, Gretchen, a lot of our listeners are going through some major life changes. What advice do you have for folks who are trying to stay grounded in the midst of major life transitions?

[Gretchen]

Craig Michelle, I am so happy to be talking to you. Here are a few questions that might help us gain perspective. So consider questions like this. What activities take up my time but are not particularly useful or stimulating for me? Do I spend a lot of time on something that's important to someone else but is not very important to me? If I could magically change one habit in my life, what would I choose? And here's a question. Would I like to have more time in solitude, restorative solitude, or would I like to have more time with friends? You know, just thinking about questions like this can help us start to figure out how we might make our lives happier. With greater self knowledge, we're better able to make hard decisions that reflect ourselves, our own nature, our own interests, our own values. In my own case, I have found that the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I'm going through a period of major change or transition. For more great advice, search for IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Wherever you get podcasts, you can listen to Issa Rae on letting go of certain friendships. Keke Palmer on why disappointment is actually the key to career success. Us Seth and Lauren Rogan on caring for aging parents and so many more.