Happier with Gretchen Rubin: "More Happier: Hacks to Avoid a Holiday Meltdown This Week [Revisited]"

Release Date: December 20, 2025
Host: Gretchen Rubin
Co-host: Elizabeth Craft

Episode Overview

In this revisited episode, Gretchen Rubin and her co-host (and sister) Elizabeth Craft revisit practical strategies for navigating the holidays with less stress and more happiness. They focus on three main ideas: setting a holiday intention or theme, handling the challenge of shared work, and incorporating fun, doable traditions to ease tension. Interwoven throughout are personal anecdotes, listener questions, and sage advice, all delivered in their trademark warm, candid, and often humorous style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting a Holiday Intention

[03:02–12:14]

• Definition & Importance:
  Gretchen and Elizabeth discuss the value of deciding, ahead of time, what you want your holiday period to feel like or achieve.

  • Gretchen: "Most of us have at least a few days off around the holidays ... we're going to be a lot happier if we know what we intend to get from that holiday." (03:11)
  • Setting and communicating your intention helps manage conflicting expectations and avoids disappointment.

• Types of Intentions Discussed:

  • Family/friend time (activities, gatherings, shared meals)
  • Rest and relaxation
  • Personal projects (reading, cleaning, organizing)
  • Adventure or travel
  • Entertaining and hosting
  • Service/volunteering

• Learning from Experience:
  Elizabeth: "If every other holiday season you have not managed to clean out your closet, you're probably not going to clean it out this year. So just don't even set that as your intention." (07:07)

• Managing Conflicting Intentions:

  • Openly discuss intentions with others to prevent misunderstandings or resentment.
  • Realize some holiday circumstances (like being with family or having young kids) may make certain intentions unrealistic.

• Mantra for Compromise:

  • "If you can't get out of it, get into it."—a favorite saying of Elizabeth learned from Gretchen, about embracing unavoidable holiday activities (08:11).

• Personal Intentions for This Year:

  • Gretchen: Focused on family time and togetherness, not productivity. (11:06)
  • Elizabeth: Dedicated writing time for a work project alongside focused family days for Christmas. (11:27)

2. Holiday Hack: Easy Gingerbread Houses

[16:01–19:16]

• Description:

  • Gretchen shares a beloved, stress-free hack: use graham crackers and tub frosting to build "gingerbread" houses as a festive activity—much easier and kid-friendly than making traditional gingerbread.
  • Gretchen: "You don't want the whipped kind [of frosting]... you want the heavier kind because this is like cement." (16:33)

• Steps:

  • Build on foil-covered cardboard.
  • Construct with graham crackers and thick frosting “cement.”
  • Let dry overnight for sturdiness.
  • Decorate with assorted candies.
  • Versatile for multiple holidays—change candy color/themes accordingly.

• Practical & Inclusive:

  • Kids can decorate even if adults need to build the base.
  • Fun for all ages, produces festive decor, and doesn’t require special tools (just a kitchen knife!). (18:25)

3. Holiday Happiness Stumbling Block: Shared Work

[19:16–27:16]

• Problem:

  • The holidays often require extra tasks (decorating, shopping, cooking, child-minding), increasing the risk of misunderstandings and resentment about who does what.

• Typical Scenarios:

  • Differing values around what “matters” (spotless kitchen vs. buying perfect gifts).
  • “Invisible labor” often unrecognized by others.
  • Feeling taken for granted or as if others are "free riding."
  • Not knowing what to do in someone else’s home.

• Advice:

  • Make tasks explicit: assign jobs or discuss who will do what before tensions arise.
    • Elizabeth: "Before everyone gets there, I need to say, when everyone comes in, just make sure they get a drink. I'm gonna be counting on you for that." (26:32)
  • Accept what is not negotiable—sometimes letting go of expectations or releasing control is healthier.
    • Gretchen (re: Christmas decorations): "...I don't expect Jamie to help with Christmas decorations. He's just not interested ... and fair enough." (24:18)
  • Try a rota for chores (suggested by their mom): assign “today is your day to…” for tasks to ensure fairness. (26:36)

4. Listener Question: Low-Cost, Meaningful Volunteer Gifts

[27:26–30:17]

• Question from Jenny, PA:
  How to give meaningful Christmas gifts to a group of volunteers without breaking the bank?

• Suggested Solutions:

  • Personalized small gifts (notebooks, mouse pads with group photo or initials from sites like Shutterfly)—special but affordable (~$10/ea.).
    • Elizabeth: "It's hard to get a gift for less than $10 unless it's homemade." (28:45)
  • Homemade gifts (pomander balls made from oranges/apples with cloves)—fragrant, festive, and budget-friendly.
    • Gretchen: "It's a great thing to do while you're watching tv, and they smell amazing." (29:28)
  • Call for crowdsourced ideas from listeners to “build an inventory” of thoughtful, cost-effective gift ideas. (29:57)

5. Demerits & Gold Stars

[34:07–37:35]

• Happiness Demerit (Gretchen):

  • Procrastinating on holiday gift shopping, despite intentions; feels pressure from family expectation for lists and thoughtful presents.
    • Gretchen: "I'm an underbuyer. I don't really like to buy ... every year I'm like, I've learned my lesson...and then I just don't. It just creeps up on you." (34:07)

• Gold Star (Elizabeth):

  • To her in-laws, Ramona and Bill, for making homemade tamales every Christmas—a labor-intensive but beloved family tradition that brings everyone joy and marks the holiday.
    • Elizabeth: "It really makes it feel like Christmas and feel warm and cozy and delicious and fun. So big gold star for taking the time and the effort during a busy time to actually make these by hand." (37:09)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If you can't get out of it, get into it." — Elizabeth (08:11), passing on Gretchen's mantra for accepting the inevitable joyfully.
• "People tend to do the things that they think are important and they value those things... But somebody else may just have a different view about what's important." — Gretchen (21:43), on the root of shared work conflicts.
• "Don't even set [unrealistic tasks] as your intention ... and then don't feel bad if it doesn't happen." — Gretchen (07:22), normalizing letting go of over-ambitious holiday goals.
• "You can give somebody an assignment ... sometimes people, they're willing to help but need an assignment." — Gretchen (23:46), practical advice for leveraging family/friend help.
• "It really makes it feel like Christmas and feel warm and cozy and delicious and fun." — Elizabeth (37:09), on the emotional impact of meaningful homemade food traditions.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Setting a Holiday Intention: 03:02–12:14
• Holiday Hack: Easy Gingerbread Houses: 16:01–19:16
• Holidays & Shared Work: 19:16–27:16
• Listener Question: Volunteer Gifts: 27:26–30:17
• Demerits & Gold Stars: 34:07–37:35

Final Takeaways

• Identify and communicate your personal holiday goals/intentions in advance.
• Manage expectations (both your own and others’) realistically.
• Embrace simplified traditions that spark joy and minimize stress.
• Address shared work head-on; make tasks clear, assign roles, and redistribute unshared labor when needed.
• Thoughtful doesn’t have to mean expensive—personalize or make something simple to express appreciation.
• Start gift planning earlier if possible—or, as both hosts admit, at least try again next year!

Gretchen and Elizabeth’s warmth and candor create a space where listeners feel seen—and equipped—with practical, compassionate ways to make the holidays not just manageable, but meaningful and genuinely happier.