Episode Overview

Podcast: Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Episode: More Happier: Is It Always a Bad Idea to Gossip? Plus: Choosing a One-Word Theme for the Year
Date: November 15, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin & Elizabeth Craft

In this lively and personal episode, Gretchen and her sister/cohost, Elizabeth, unpack the surprising value of gossip, the perennial challenge of picking a one-word theme for the new year, and the joy found in shared experiences—even among strangers. The conversation offers both philosophical musings and practical insights, with plenty of real-life anecdotes and laughs in the sisters' signature warm, thoughtful style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What’s Making Us Happier This Week

[02:36–09:45]

Elizabeth: Shares her excitement about attending a Survivor finale watch party with members of her fantasy league.

• Describes the transition from online chatter to in-person connections:
  “I basically have been in a WhatsApp group with everybody talking about Survivor this whole season and I haven’t met them.” [02:55]
• Details the etiquette and anticipation around group TV watching:
  “We’re meeting at 7 so that we can chat. It starts at 8. You can talk during commercials. But I think there will be an etiquette to be pretty quiet during the actual show.” [06:11]
• Notes the social power of themed parties and instant conversation starters.

Gretchen: Talks about the joy and collective spirit experienced during the New York City Marathon—even as an observer.

• Observes the way shared public events foster local pride and connection:
  “But the enthusiasm for the runners and the pride in the New York City Marathon is so high...we love it. We embrace it. We welcome the runners. We're so proud of everybody who runs.” [09:34]
• Highlights the group cheer that transcends inconvenience.

Memorable Moment:
Elizabeth reminisces about getting stuck during a Chicago marathon:
“It took about an hour and a half to navigate to our hotel.” [10:00]

2. The Challenge and Power of Picking a One-Word Theme for the Year

[14:23–22:45]

Elizabeth:

• Struggles to land on her 2026 theme word; last year’s choice was “bounce,” symbolized by a kangaroo mug.
• Describes her usual process as poetic and intuitive but notes this year, she feels “blank.”
  “Normally, I think a word just sort of comes to me...and I just know that's the word. And this year I'm just blank.” [17:52]
• Wants a theme that is “meaty” and effervescent, not generic—considers looking for a meaningful symbol (like dolphin or butterfly).

Gretchen:

• Offers advice:
  • Review past theme words to stimulate ideas.
  • Look for words with multiple meanings or metaphorical depth (“Salt” worked for her because of its richness).
  • Encourages considering symbols first to help land on the right word.
  • “I think words that are powerful words are better...So the word step is better than the word delegate...” [16:27]
• Suggests that a visual component helps make a theme more satisfying throughout the year.

Listener Participation:
Gretchen invites listeners to share their own questions or strategies for finding a one-word theme:
“If you have any suggestions, like, are there questions that you ask yourself? Are there exercises you do or recommend that help with this?” [21:31]

Notable Quotes:

• “It’s surprisingly powerful. Don’t you think, Elizabeth?” – Gretchen [21:42]
• “I don’t want to just pick any old word, you know. It’s very important to me.” – Elizabeth [21:56]

3. Book Spotlight: Holiday Gifts & Recommendations

[22:57–23:32]

Gretchen announces her “read 25 in 25” initiative with Bookshop, inviting listeners to submit their favorite book gift recommendations for the holidays.

• “And very soon, I will send out the full list of recommendations.” [23:27]

4. Is Gossip Always Bad? Reframing the Value of Gossip

[26:37–31:22]

The Debate:

• Elizabeth: “I don’t think of gossip being associated with value. Usually it’s a negative.” [26:44]
• Gretchen reframes the concept:
  • Recognizes gossip’s bad reputation but points out its ubiquity and social necessity.
  • “We spend about an hour a day gossiping. And what the research shows is that gossip actually has many positive consequences.” [26:50]
• Gossip, she explains, is often neutral or positive—building bonds, relaying news, and helping communities define norms.

Key Insights and Research:

• Gossip can foster closeness, expose misbehavior, and unite people.
• Oxytocin (the “love hormone”) increases during gossip, even compared to other emotional conversations.
  • “What the studies show is that when people are gossiping, their levels [of oxytocin] increase significantly in comparison to non-gossip conversation.” [29:12]
• Sharing observations about people in common can strengthen partnerships and friendships.
• “I use the word gossip because I think it’s kind of a spicy word. It’s more about newsiness, what’s the news?” – Gretchen [29:27]

Rethinking the Word:

Elizabeth notes the need for a new term for positive, observational gossip:
“I do think there could be room for a new word for this, Gretch.” [29:48]

The Takeaway:

• Gretchen’s goal: to socialize more with her husband so they have more “gossip” to share.
• Gossip, when well-intentioned, is a tool for empathy, understanding, and community building.

5. Weekly Quotation: On Learning and Happiness

[31:27–32:03]

Gretchen shares a quote from T.H. White’s The Sword in the Stone:

“The best thing for being sad is to learn something. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.” [31:27]

Elizabeth reflects on finding comfort in learning during a stressful work period.

Notable Quotes and Moments

• “I love this idea of watching together or experiencing something together and making it into a party situation. It’s so fun.” — Gretchen [07:06]
• “You need a word that where there is a visual for it. I think you and I have both experienced that. That is much more satisfying when there is a way to visualize it.” — Gretchen [22:01]
• “Part of my design year list is to really aim for us to socialize more together, because I think we’ll have more gossip and we’ll have more fun and we’ll have more friends in common, and that’s all good.” — Gretchen [31:08]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:36] “What’s making us happier” segment begins
• [04:44] Watch party etiquette and the fun of themed events
• [09:45] Reflections on citywide marathons and collective joy
• [14:23] Discussion on picking a one-word theme for the year
• [22:57] Bookshop gift recommendations
• [26:37] “Is gossip always bad?”—main discussion starts
• [29:12] Research and positive side of gossip
• [31:27] Weekly quotation and reflections

Final Thoughts

This episode captures the Rubin sisters’ gift for turning everyday topics—watch parties, annual intentions, and even gossip—into rich explorations of what it means to seek happiness and connection. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own rituals and relationships, and to embrace the simple, shared joys of life.