Happier with Gretchen Rubin: More Happier – Rethinking Resolutions with Gretchen Rubin on NPR’s Life Kit [Revisited]

Release Date: January 3, 2026
Host: Gretchen Rubin (joined by NPR's Marielle Segarra)
Length: ~26 minutes

Episode Overview

This episode features Gretchen Rubin's conversation with NPR’s "Life Kit" host Marielle Segarra, focusing on New Year’s resolutions—why they often fail, how to make them work, and alternative ways to design your year for success and happiness. Combining Gretchen’s practical expertise in happiness and habits with accessible advice, the discussion explores actionable strategies to create resolutions you'll want to keep (and actually can), as well as inventive approaches to personal growth for the year ahead.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Resolutions Fail—and Why Set Them Anyway?

• Main Idea:
  Most people abandon their resolutions quickly, but aiming for change is psychologically beneficial.

• Research Backs Goal Setting:

  “Research shows…people who set aims for themselves, specific, manageable aims…are more likely to succeed in fulfilling those aims than people who do not…”
  —Gretchen Rubin [02:20]

• The Power of a Fresh Start:
  Milestone dates (New Year, birthdays, etc.) give a motivational boost, but sustaining change is the challenge.

• Knowing Yourself Matters:
  Gretchen shares her own failed resolutions (e.g., meditating) to illustrate the importance of self-awareness.

  "I am not a person who gets much out of meditation...That is a resolution that I have tried and given up several times."
  —Gretchen Rubin [02:55]

2. What Makes Resolutions Stick?

[07:01–10:43]

• Be Specific, Not Vague:

  • Resolutions must be clear and concrete.
  • Vague goals (“eat healthfully,” “get more fun out of life”) are hard to measure, whereas concrete ones create built-in accountability.

  “Even things that sound specific sometimes are really too vague… At the end of the day…do you know if you kept your resolution or not?”
  —Gretchen Rubin [07:07]

• Example – Exercise:

  • Instead of "get more exercise," say "go rock climbing once a week and cycling twice a week."
    [08:42]

• Identify Signs a Resolution Isn't Right:

  • Watch out for goals imposed by others (“shoulds”), lack of commitment, or impractical ambitions.

  “There’s no sense of commitment there. There’s no specificity there. There’s no sense of a timeline or an approach there. It’s just sort of a hand waving and a gesture.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [09:00]

• Know Your "Why":

  • Understanding why a goal matters personally supports follow-through.

  “If you know why you’re doing something, it tends to help you stay with it.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [10:17]

3. Practical Strategies to Keep Resolutions

[11:44–15:46]

• Experiment for Enjoyment:

  • Try different forms of the same activity (such as several types of exercise) to find your fit. [11:44]

• Pairing:

  • Combine a "should" activity with something you enjoy ("I only listen to podcasts when I walk").

  “Pairing is when you pair an activity that you should do…with something that you really love to do…”
  —Gretchen Rubin [11:44]

• Build in Accountability:

  • For some, external accountability (classes, buddies, pets) keeps them on track.
  • For others, spontaneity or habit is key—tailor the method to your personality.

• Look to Your History:

  • Consider times when you succeeded before—what worked then?

• Focus on Behavior, Not Outcome:

  • Set process-based goals you can control (e.g., practice X times/week), not outcomes (e.g., become fluent in French).

  “I can write the best book I possibly can, but I can’t write a bestseller.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [14:35]

4. The Power of Milestones and Self-Review

[16:01–19:55]

• Calendar Approaches:

  • Use meaningful, recurring dates as catalysts (“Halfway Day,” “Determination Day,” birthdays, anniversaries).

  “There’s halfway day, that’s July 2…a good day to sort of say, okay, well, I wanted to get certain things going or certain things done in the year. Am I on track?”
  —Gretchen Rubin [16:01]

• Determination Day:

  • February 28—a self-proclaimed day to check if resolutions are still alive, and either recommit or consciously let go.

  “So this is the day that you say, okay, I’m going to stay determined, I’m going to stay the course. And, you know, it’s not discouragement day. It’s Determination Day.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [17:10]

• If You’ve Slipped:

  • Treat lapses as information: something about the approach isn’t working.
  • Adjust logistics (e.g., time of day), lower the bar, or give yourself permission to move on.

  “Maybe you want to bring it lower. Like maybe you said that you wanted to run three miles every day. So okay, maybe it’s going to be walk 20 minutes every day.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [18:06]

5. Rethinking “Resolutions”: Alternative Ways to Design Your Year

[19:55–24:47]

• Pick a Word or Theme:

  • Use a single, energizing word as your north star (e.g., "bounce" for resilience, "neighborhood" for community).

  “She thought of the word bounce, because bounce is like, bounce back, bounce ahead. There’s this energy to it. It’s kind of a whimsical word.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [19:55]

• Annual List – “26 in 26”:

  • Make a list of 26 things to do in 2026—fun, personal, achievable or ambitious, big or small.
  • Get creative (use categories, themes, tie items to alphabet letters, include easily checked-off items for momentum).

  “People…feel like, oh, maybe I’ve just been working so hard…I’m kind of burned out. Maybe it would only be 26 things that are fun because you want to make sure that you have enough fun in the year.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [21:23]

• Seasonality & Flexibility:

  • Life is unpredictable. Plans may change due to circumstances (pandemics, personal events), but planning still offers value.

  “We cannot plan. Things come up all the time. The other one is we really benefit from planning.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [23:44]

  • Balance self-compassion (“accept yourself in the situation you’re in”) with self-expectation (“expect more from yourself”).

6. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Specificity:

  “At the end of the day…do you know if you kept your resolution or not?”
  —Gretchen Rubin [07:07]

• On Letting Go:

  “Maybe it’s something that is just you thought you’d give it a try, but…is just not a useful tool for you. So you might say, well, I’m just going to mindfully decide not to follow that resolution. That’s fine.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [17:26]

• On Balancing Plans and Change:

  “We want to accept ourselves and also expect more from ourselves. And both are true.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [24:19]

• On the Joy of Self-Knowledge:

  “…the more my life reflects my nature, the happier I get and the more grounded I feel when I’m going through a period of major change or transition.”
  —Gretchen Rubin [27:38, mini-segment with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson]

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 01:18 | Gretchen introduces episode focus | | 02:20 | Why specific goals matter | | 07:01 | How to formulate resolutions that "fit" | | 09:00 | Signs a resolution isn’t right for you | | 10:43 | Importance of knowing your “why” | | 11:44 | Practical strategies: pairing, accountability | | 14:35 | Process over outcome | | 16:01 | Using the calendar as a growth tool | | 17:10 | Determination Day explained | | 18:06 | Adjusting or dropping resolutions | | 19:55 | Alternatives: word of the year, annual lists | | 21:23 | How to approach the “26 in 26” fun list | | 23:44 | Planning vs. unpredictability in life | | 24:47 | Closing thoughts and encouragement | | 27:04 | Advice on life transitions (with Michelle Obama cameo) |

Episode Takeaways

1. Be Specific:
   • Resolutions should be concrete and measurable; vague goals set you up for confusion and failure.
2. Choose Goals for You:
   • Only commit to changes that matter to you, not what others want for you. Know your “why.”
3. Leverage Self-Knowledge:
   • Use strategies like pairing, habit-stacking, accountability, and novelty according to what fits your personality.
4. Build in Milestones:
   • Schedule check-ins, and adjust or let go of goals mindfully if they aren’t serving you.
5. Embrace Flexibility & Play:
   • Use themes, words of the year, or personal lists (like "26 in 26") to make the year meaningful and fun.
6. Practice Self-Compassion:
   • Balance acceptance of limitations with striving for growth. Plans aren’t guarantees, but they provide direction.

Final Encouragement

“The best time to start a happiness project was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
—Gretchen Rubin [25:53]

For more of Gretchen’s tools for designing your year, visit happiercast.com/designyouryear.