More Happier: Your Guide to Stress-Free Holiday Hosting [Revisited]

Summary

Podcast Summary: Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Episode: More Happier: Your Guide to Stress-Free Holiday Hosting [Revisited]
Date: December 6, 2025
Hosts: Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft

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Overview

In this lively and practical episode, Gretchen Rubin and her sister/cohost Elizabeth Craft revisit their top strategies and listener-submitted hacks for stress-free, joyful holiday hosting. Drawing from personal experiences, family wisdom (especially from their expert-hosting mother), and a wealth of listener contributions, they break down how anyone can make entertaining at home less daunting and more meaningful. The overarching theme: hosting doesn’t have to be perfect or elaborate to create true connection and happiness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Value of Gathering: Relationships and Happiness

• (02:30-03:01)
  • Gretchen and Elizabeth reflect on how getting together—whether for big celebrations or simple meals—deepens relationships and is a key driver of happiness. They note that happiness experts across time agree: relationships are foundational.

2. Classic Hosting Hacks from Mom

• Place Cards & Menu Cards (03:37-04:47)

  • Assigned seating adds a touch of care—even for small family gatherings.
  • Hack: Get kids involved in making place cards, which become sweet keepsakes year after year.
  • Memorable hack: Combine menu cards with personalized names for a “fancy and glamorous” touch (Gretchen, 04:32).
  • Quote: “It is nice to just know where you're sitting. It is kind of nice to know that even if it is family.” – Gretchen (04:22)

• Printed Invitations (04:47-05:51)

  • Personalization (like printed invites) “elevates” an event effortlessly and offers a fun creative outlet.

• Seating at Rectangular Tables (05:59-07:13)

  • Seat people at the ends, not just along the sides, for better conversation and flexibility.
  • Quote: “It really is nice to have people on the ends.” – Gretchen (07:13)

• Recruit Help for Cleanup (07:23-07:53)

  • Enlist family (even children as paid helpers!) or others to help with dishes and clean-up to avoid overwhelm.

3. Hacks from Elizabeth & Gretchen’s Experiences

• Tablescapes & Crackers (07:53-08:57)

  • Dynamic tablescapes, even simple ones, make gatherings festive. Add crackers (not just for Christmas—there are themed crackers for all holidays).
  • “It really just elevates the table, and it's an activity for everyone to do.” – Gretchen (08:41)

• Drive-by Hospitality: Skip Dinner, Embrace Dessert (08:59-09:49)

  • Host after-dinner get-togethers or dessert-and-snack parties to lower pressure.
  • Brunch or pizza parties make hosting easy and less intimidating.

• Recurring Gatherings Build Connection and Lower Barriers (10:15-10:49)

  • Book clubs, dinner clubs, and regular gatherings “force the issue” so entertaining happens even if you don’t feel like it ahead of time.
  • “Often we don’t feel like doing it, but we’re glad we did.” – Gretchen (10:44)

• Embrace Last-Minute Invites (10:58-12:18)

  • Spontaneous invitations set expectations for casual, no-fuss hosting and reduce “hostess neurosis” (the anxiety of entertaining).
  • Quote: “If you say, ‘Hey, do you want to come over tonight? Super casual,’ then people know it's super casual...” – Elizabeth (11:21)
  • “Doing it last minute definitely cuts down on the hostess neurosis.” – Gretchen (12:18)

• Party Favors Aren’t Just for Kids (12:41-13:59)

  • Send guests home with small, meaningful favors to add a warm, thoughtful element. Examples: favorite pastries, plants, or personalized treats.
  • “It just kind of fills you with a warm feeling to walk away with something.” – Gretchen (13:59)

• Co-Hosting for Simplicity and Fun (14:25-14:39)

  • Splitting hosting duties makes events less overwhelming and more collaborative.

• Build in Activities (14:43-15:25)

  • Give your gathering a focus, like games, podcast or book club discussions, or themed taste parties.

4. Gretchen’s Go-To Entertaining Attitude and Mantras

• (15:30-17:08)
  • Look for any excuse to entertain—a milestone, anniversary, or the simple desire to connect.
  • “It's always the right number of people. The right number of people always show up, even if it's two people.” – Gretchen (16:10)
  • “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” – Repeated theme throughout

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Listener-Sourced Holiday Hosting Hacks (21:49-35:18)

A. Recruit Help and Lower the Bar

• Post-It Note Job Board (21:58-22:50)

  • Use sticky notes for last-minute tasks so guests can easily pitch in.
  • Quote: “‘Pick a post-it note and do it.’...You don’t have to do every single task yourself.” – Elizabeth (22:45)

• Let Guests Serve Themselves (22:50-23:03)

  • Take the pressure off; encourage self-serve drinks, etc.

• Lists and Advance Prep (23:14-23:31)

  • Keep menu lists, shopping lists, and stock up over time to spread out expenses.

• Hide the Mess, Don’t Obsess (23:43-24:13)

  • Dirty dishes can go in the tub in a pinch. Or just “deal with the mess.”

• Pre-Scooped Ice Cream (24:14-24:50)

  • Scoop ice cream into cupcake liners in advance; makes serving desserts at kids’ parties mess-free.

• A Birthday/Party Supply Box (24:50-25:19)

  • Store reusable decorations and supplies for easy, eco-friendly celebrations.

• Empty Dishwasher Before the Party (25:19-25:39)

  • To ease cleanup as the night goes on.

B. Lowering the Bar—Simple is Good!

• Porch Happy Hours with Set Time Limits (30:16-30:28)

• Themed Potlucks (“Board Night” Charcuterie, etc.) (30:30-30:51)

• No-Judgment Fridays: Family Takeout, No Cleanup Allowed (30:52-31:01)

  • “It’s not a bug, it's a feature. No judg—love it!” – Elizabeth (31:01)

• Open House Parties (4-6pm) (31:01-31:36)

  • Works best in neighborhoods where people can pop in before another event.

• Multi-Destination Gatherings: Drinks, Dinner, Dessert at Different Homes (32:18-32:27)

• Having a Signature Event or Dish (32:34-32:54)

  • Ex: Regular crawfish boils or Christmas Eve dinners make hosting easier with repetition.

• Brownie Mix or Toll House Cookies for Dessert (33:07-33:25)

  • No need for fancy desserts—“there is nothing better.”

• Australian-Style “BYO” Entertaining (33:25-33:48)

  • Bring your own meat and drink. Host only does the main dish.

• Universal Crowd-Pleasers

  • Tacos with a variety of fillings cover all dietary needs.(33:49-34:01)

C. Be a Good Guest: “Secret Agent of Fun”

• Drop the Host a Gift—Photos! (34:01-35:18)
  • Take candid photos capturing the mood, details, and hosts/guests; edit and send to host as a meaningful keepsake.
  • “I find that as a host myself I almost never take that many pictures of my party and would love the mementos...It creates a warm bond between awkward guests...and hosts.” – Listener Kate (34:13-35:18)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Personal Involvement:
  • “Hosting doesn’t have to be elaborate. Just spending time together outside the usual routines makes people feel more connected.” – Elizabeth (02:53)
• On Hostess Anxiety:
  • “We both have that hostess neurosis. This is the anxiety of entertaining...Doing it last minute definitely cuts down on the hostess neurosis.” – Gretchen (12:12-12:18)
• Elevated, But Simple:
  • “If things are personalized or monogrammed, they feel more elevated.” – (04:47)
• Let Go of Perfection:
  • “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” – Refrain throughout

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Value of Gathering & Relationships: 02:30–03:11
• Mom’s Place Card/Menu Hack: 03:37–04:47
• Table Seating Tips: 05:59–07:13
• Last-Minute Entertaining: 10:58–12:18
• Party Favor Examples: 12:41–13:59
• Listener Hacks Start: 21:49
• Sticky Note Task Board: 21:58–22:50
• Simple Entertaining & Potlucks: 30:16–31:36
• Signature Events (“BYO” Style, Tacos): 32:34–34:01
• Being a Good Guest (Photography): 34:01–35:18
• Closing Reflections: 35:18–35:47

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Final Takeaways

• Hosting should serve connection, not impressiveness. Simpler often means less stress and more joy.
• “Lower the bar” with recurring, casual, or themed gatherings, and don’t be afraid to ask for or accept help.
• Small creative touches (place cards, menu cards, favors) can elevate without overcomplicating.
• Whether you’re a guest or a host, your presence, warmth, and willingness to participate matter most.

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Closing Message:
"Here’s to more fun, less stress and stronger connections this holiday season." – Elizabeth (35:41)

Transcript

[Elizabeth]

Did you know that infants are ready to learn sign language, 2 year olds.

[Gretchen]

Are ready to learn the basics of.

[Elizabeth]

Science and three year olds are ready to learn coding.

[Gretchen]

Your child is ready to learn.

[Elizabeth]

And at Primrose schools, teachers make the.

[Gretchen]

Most of this time by creating a.

[Elizabeth]

Joyful, purposeful learning experience unlike any other.

[Sarah]

For instance, have you heard of the Primrose Friends? In every Primrose School classroom, teachers use these 12 lovable puppets to make character development joyful, meaningful and memorable. From exploring generosity with Benjamin the Bear to practicing honesty with Peanut the Pony, every friend plays a special part in helping children learn important values while having.

[Unknown Female Host]

Plenty of fun along the way. We can all use some friends like that. You can learn [e-mail] now enrolling infants through children age 5. That's primroseschools.com for more information.

[Sarah]

Elizabeth when we're together for the holidays, we end up going to Whole Foods Market every day. There's so many things that we need. Like we're going to a party and one of us needs to bring a gift for the host. They have these expert curated cheeses and crackers that everybody loves. They have excellent limited time seasonal desserts like holiday rum cake, creamy Buche de Noel which is one of our family's favorites, and more. Plus they have these show stopping things for the table like bone in spiral cut ham.

[Elizabeth]

Well, Gretch, I love that they have heat in each sides from the prepared foods department because you know that I am not much of a cook. So heat and serve is something I can do. And they have floral Gretchen so you can bring a nice bouquet of flowers. If you're going to someone's house, shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market. Your holiday headquarters.

Lemonada.

[Sarah]

Hello, we're here for more Happier a podcast where we get happier. Elizabeth we'll be together in Kansas City for the holidays this year. I cannot wait. It's so fun.

[Elizabeth]

Yes, it is. Always the best when we're all together in one place.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

And it reminded me of how much getting together contributes to our happiness. Whether it's a big meal or something casual, having people over helps deepen relationships. And we all know that ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that relationships are a key, maybe the key to happiness.

[Elizabeth]

Yes. And it does not have to be elaborate. Just spending time together outside the usual routines makes people feel more connected. We know this.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

So we wanted to revisit an episode.

[Unknown Female Host]

All about entertaining hacks ideas to make.

[Sarah]

Hosting easier, more manageable, and of course even more Fun.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes.

[Elizabeth]

They came from us, from listeners, of course, from our mom, Gretch, who's basically a professional host.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes.

[Elizabeth]

We love how she entertains. We love to copy her tips.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes, we do.

[Sarah]

So in this episode, we're starting with some of her best hacks in the hopes that they'll make your gatherings this year a little simpler and more fun.

[Elizabeth]

Here we are back in episode four.

[Gretchen]

30.

So one thing mom likes to do is place cards.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes.

[Gretchen]

So she said, even with as few as six, it's nice to have an assigned seat. And we even do that at Christmas.

[Unknown Female Host]

Gretch. Yeah, Even with just family. And here she had a great idea which I have copied, which is if you're doing it for a family thing and you have little kids or even big kids, have them make the place cards, like, write the names, and then you can use them year after year. And it's so sweet to see, like, their little handwriting. Or I love stickers. Now you could put stickers on them. It's really a fun. It's a task that you can give people to create the play skirts. They can be a great memento. And it is nice to just know where you're sitting. It is. It is kind of nice to know that even if it is family.

[Gretchen]

And then mom also said if you're feeling ambitious, a menu card with the person's name on top could be a nice place card.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah, no, I know.

[Gretchen]

Mom kind of taught herself how to print really well, and she'll get nice paper and print on nice paper. But I know when I go somewhere and there's a menu at my place Spring, especially if my name is on it, I feel very fancy and glamorous.

[Unknown Female Host]

It feels very fancy. Okay. And this is the thing. Mom knows how to print this stuff, and she prints her own invitations. And I. This is something that I want to learn how to do because she says it's not that hard. All you have to do is basically adjust the paper side on the computer and, like, figure out the spacing. Because you've talked about this in terms of elevating things, Elizabeth. Like, if things are personalized or monogrammed, they feel more elevated. And I think a printed invitation feels more elevated. And it's just a fun creative outlet. So I want to learn how to do this myself because she always sends us a picture of her invitations, and they look so great. So I think this would be fun.

[Sarah]

But here's something funny.

[Unknown Female Host]

So a friend of mine is getting married, and she sent a printed save the date card, and it was very. It was really cool. And I was all excited because I.

[Sarah]

Was like, oh, it's so funny to get something in the mail.

[Unknown Female Host]

So often, like they just send something through email. But then I also got one through email. So I think she was like, yeah, I'm going to send it in the mail. And that's fun. But people also need the convenience of the email version. So she sent both versions, which I thought was so of the moment.

[Gretchen]

Very clever.

[Unknown Female Host]

But I want to learn how to print invitations because I think I would get a lot of fun from that little bit of elevation and creativity. Yes.

[Gretchen]

And then another thing mom taught us is to seat people on the ends of rectangular tables. So, Rich, explain why this is a good idea.

[Unknown Female Host]

Okay, so. And this just came up in my life. Cause I was planning a dinner for my in laws for the milestone anniversary. Okay. So if you have a rectangular table, you can have equal. Equal numbers on both sides and nobody on the end. Or you can have somebody on the ends. And mom says if you have them on the ends, it opens up people's ability to have conversations. Because sometimes it's hard to speak over a table.

[Elizabeth]

And.

[Unknown Female Host]

And so if you're sitting at the end of a rectangular table with nobody on the end, you're just. You can really only talk to one person. Or maybe if you can talk across the table, you can talk to two, but you're sort of stuck. But if you put somebody on the end, all of a sudden everybody in the table has a lot more flexibility in having conversation. And I have to say, this is something I had figured out myself. And we have kind of a wider. It's not even that wide dining room table, but I always prefer to be jammed in closed than spaced out. And we will sit two people on the end of our dining room table. And it's great because you can engage in conversation easily with so many people because there's two people on the end.

[Gretchen]

So that is a great tip.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah. And you might think, like, for tablescapes and stuff, it's probably nice sometimes not to have people on the ends, but I think for conversation, it really is nice to have people on the ends.

[Gretchen]

And then another one of Mom's hacks is that if there's any way possible to have someone to clean the kitchen and do dishes just to help out, that it makes a big difference. She suggested maybe hiring your children for the evening. Yeah, it's like the more help the better if you can afford it, obviously.

[Unknown Female Host]

Right, right. Yeah. No, I remember we helped out with parties in our day, it's kind of fun, too, if you're serving, yes. Oh, serving, yeah, for sure. Okay, Elizabeth, I know you have a lot of hacks. What are some of the things you figured out?

[Gretchen]

Well, Gretch, I think I've mentioned this before on the podcast, but one thing I love is trying to do a tablescape. You know, I have my sort of latent passion for tablescapes.

[Elizabeth]

Yes.

[Unknown Female Host]

Not so latent anymore. You're. You're really.

[Gretchen]

Well, I mean, they're. Mine are simple at best. But one thing that I have started doing, which again got from mom, is having crackers on the table, which we've talked about, are the things you pull apart and they make a noise and little prizes come out. And there are so many now, not just Christmas crackers. They're for Halloween, for St. Patrick's Day, for Easter. You can just get silver ones. You can get ones. I think you got ones shaped like a champagne bottle.

[Unknown Female Host]

Exactly.

[Gretchen]

They have all sorts, and it really just elevates the table, and it's an activity for everyone to do. Now, obviously, if you are hosting a bigger event or something that's not. Sit down, like a mahjong game, crackers don't really fit in, but for a dinner, they're great.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah, I completely agree.

[Gretchen]

Another thing that I like to do, Gretchen, I've learned, is to invite people after dinner. Okay, so again, take the mahjong example. I just say, okay, come at seven, I'll have snacks and dessert and drinks, and be clear that I'm not dealing with dinner. Dinner just takes it to another place.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes, it does.

[Gretchen]

Even if you're ordering in, you have to have it heated enough, you have to put it out. You have to decide if you're going to put it in other dishes or in the container it came. I mean, it's just a hassle. So I like to shirk dinner.

[Unknown Female Host]

And I do this with my. Because I'm in those children's literature reading groups, and every holiday season, I have a party for everyone together, and I have it for drinks and sweets, and.

[Sarah]

It'S from, like, 6 to 8.

[Unknown Female Host]

It is dinner time, but I'm not serving dinner. So eat before, eat after. But that's just not what's happening because, like, don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

[Gretchen]

Yes.

[Unknown Female Host]

Oh. Another thing I think about avoiding dinner.

[Sarah]

Is brunch can be easier.

[Unknown Female Host]

You can make brunch pretty simple. So if you still want to have a meal, but you want to keep it easy, have people over for Pizza or have them over for brunch.

[Elizabeth]

Yes. Yes.

[Gretchen]

You can get away with bagels and fruit salads.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Gretchen]

Exactly. Another hack, Gretchen, is to come up with something that's going to be done on a regular basis. So, for instance, a book club, a dinner club, a lunch club. Mom has been in her lunch bunch for decades. And what I like about this is it just forces the issue.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes.

[Gretchen]

Now, whether you're the person who says, I'm going to just host book club every month, or you rotate, whatever the case, it forces you to entertain when you may not want to.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes.

[Gretchen]

Because often we don't feel like doing it, but we're glad we did.

[Unknown Female Host]

Well. And it's something that can be done at any time, is often done at no time. And this is like, this has to be done at this time. And so then you do it, and then you're glad you did it. Yes. That happens to me.

[Gretchen]

Okay, Gretch, so this is a big one that I recently decided to embrace. And this hack is to decide to entertain at the last minute.

[Unknown Female Host]

Ooh, spotlight.

[Gretchen]

I think we feel like it needs to be planned well in advance, but the truth is, if you planet last minute, nobody's expecting anything.

[Unknown Female Host]

Oh, well, that's good, right? Yeah.

[Gretchen]

So if you say, hey, do you want to come over tonight? Super casual, then the people know it's super casual, because how not casual could it be last minute?

[Unknown Female Host]

Right.

[Gretchen]

Even if it's the day before.

[Unknown Female Host]

Right.

[Gretchen]

But, you know, if it's planned really far in advance, you feel more pressure to elevate.

[Unknown Female Host]

Right. If you're like, oh, why don't you come over and watch the Academy Awards or something like that that day? Then people are like, oh, that would be fun. Yeah. Okay, so be on the lookout for kind of spontaneous hospitality.

[Gretchen]

Yes. Like, I have a friend who will just say, oh, I'm thinking of having some ladies over Friday night because my kids are out of town. Do you want to come? And it's just. You just know you're just going to hang. It's not like a big to do.

[Unknown Female Host]

Oh, that's great. That's great. And it's still so fun.

[Gretchen]

Yes. And it gives me less time for hostess neurosis.

[Unknown Female Host]

Right. Well, we both have that hostess neurosis. This is the anxiety of entertaining. Yes.

[Gretchen]

Yes. Because that can be nights of sitting up in the middle of the night thinking, I'm gonna have to go to the grocery store on Sunday or whatever. And doing it last minute definitely cuts down on the hostess neurosis.

[Unknown Female Host]

Well, and you And I and mom, too, we do get hostess neurosis. So that is the anxiety of entertaining. So want to get rid of that as much as possible.

[Gretchen]

Okay, Gretch, now here's a real next level hack that I have. I have not myself done this, but I aspire to. I know people who do, which is to have a party favor. Ooh.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes.

[Gretchen]

Because I think we think of party favors as something kids have.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes.

[Gretchen]

But I've been to several things where people give a party favor, and it's just so fun. So, for example, someone gave my favorite Armenian pastry, which is called gata, tied up in, like, a cellophane bag with a ribbon, and you just took that with you when you left. Another time, somebody gave everybody bracelet flasks, which were just really fun and. And funny and, you know, a kick.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah.

[Gretchen]

A friend of mine at her birthday party, she had a milestone birthday. She gave everybody a little box that had hearts, candy hearts in it with phrases on it about her. Oh, wow. So, you know, her initials, her age, something about her. Oh, fun. She likes to do triathlons. So it said, try. Another person gave a little plant at the end of a dinner party, which was really sweet. So, I mean, it just kind of fills you with, like, a warm feeling to walk away with something.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah. Well, you know, this would be a great thing for listeners. Do you have good ideas for favors? Because this is the kind of thing where you don't want to spend a lot of money. But sometimes it is fun to have something, especially if it is personalized or it feels very appropriate. It does elevate it. It makes it feel like more like a thing. It's kind of the opposite of spontaneity. It really shows care and thoughtfulness, and that makes it feel more consideration. Yeah. And then you can just get ideas from other people, like we do. From listeners.

[Gretchen]

Yeah. And, Gretch, my last hack is to co host whenever I co host with Sarah. For instance, we had the writers over for the finale of Fantasy Island. Much easier when it's not just me when I have my co host.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah. Oh, that's a great idea.

[Sarah]

And then there's some hacks that both.

[Unknown Female Host]

Of us have learned. For instance, and Elizabeth, this is true for mahjong. It's true for.

[Sarah]

I had a taste party, which I.

[Unknown Female Host]

Write about in Life in Five Senses, where you have some kind of activity.

[Gretchen]

That you're doing or like, charade night.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yes. You know, right. I did. Years ago. I was at a dinner party where we all started talking about perfume and people were so fired up. I keep thinking I should have a perfume party where everybody brings their favorite and we all like smell. Or we had a listener. Melissa said that she has a podcast club instead of a book club because her friends are all in the phase of life where they're so busy they weren't reading the book, but they can all listen to a podcast and talk about it. So I thought that was a good idea for an activity for a party.

[Gretchen]

Yes. All right, Gretch, what are some of your entertaining hacks?

[Sarah]

Elizabeth A lot of my hacks are.

[Unknown Female Host]

Sort of versions of your hacks. One is to look for an opportunity to entertain. Like maybe it's the anniversary of your book group or there's some other kind of milestone. I think that can be fun to have a reason to do it again. Something that's done at any time has often done it no time. So look for a reason. And here's one. Sometimes with things like book clubs, people can get worried or annoyed if. If not enough people come or if they feel like people aren't showing up. And my mantra is it's always the right number of people. The right number of people always show up, even if it's two people. One of my favorite book clubs was just two people showed up. It was me and a friend I was hosting. So instead of hosting, we just went out for dinner and it was fantastic. So just to not. I think if a lot of people come or not that many people come, that's okay. It's always the right number. And then I thought this was just something funny. If you're. Because we are coming up in wedding season. I thought this was great language. If you're trying to limit the number of children at your wedding, how do you articulate that? So this invitation said, we love you and we love your children, but due to capacity constraints, we've had to institute the bottle rule, which I had never heard of. It explains, if your children aren't bottle feeding, that is under one year or hitting the bottle, the alcohol bottle, they'll have to miss the fun. So I thought that was just sort of a fun kind of way to announce a rule that was kind of whimsical. And speaking of readings, we are coming up in wedding season. And so I'll remind people [e-mail] resources you can get our collection of wedding readings. If you're doing wedding readings.

[Gretchen]

Yes, we are always looking for wedding readings. Coming up. We have entertaining hacks from listeners. But first, this spring.

[Elizabeth]

So, Gretch, this is sometimes my holiday pattern. I will say I'm not going to give anybody a gift card. But then time goes by and I end up getting a gift card. But you know how much I care about a personalized gift, so I love to give an Aura Frame. An Aura Frame is a digital frame. The quality of the photos is unbelievable. So good and it comes in a gift box. So it's this really beautifully presented gift. The greatest thing is you can preload it with photos and video so it really feels personal and and then I feel like I've gone above and beyond in my gift giving.

[Sarah]

For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's bestselling Carver Mat frames, named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Happier at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code Happier. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. So support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Elizabeth]

So we know a lot of you listening out there work in healthcare and wellness. First of all, because you probably don't hear this enough, thank you. Thanks for always showing up and doing what you do. Second of all, if you don't know about Figs, it is time. Figs entire mission is to empower people that work in healthcare by making the best scrubs, apparel and accessories. Figs make super thoughtfully designed scrubs and high quality, innovative materials that are antimicrobial and wrinkle resistant but still super soft and breathable.

[Sarah]

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[Elizabeth]

A risk taker? Someone with countless tales of epic adventure? Well, I'm not quite there yet, but I'm working on it. Even the boldest among us started small, daring themselves to reach greater goals each day. If you're looking to take on a challenge like that, the Defender is too.

[Gretchen]

It's a vehicle built for those capable.

[Elizabeth]

Of great things, whether you're charting new territory or just escaping the city for the weekend.

[Sarah]

The Defender engineered to meet challenges head on so you can explore with confidence. An icon reimagined designed for a new generation of explorers. Choose from the Defender 9110 or 130, seating up to eight adventurers. With a tough tested exterior, a modern and functional interior, and intelligent tech like 3D surround cameras and the Pivi Pro infotainment system, every journey feels limitless because like you, the Defender is capable of great things. Build your Defender today@land roverusa.com the holidays.

[Elizabeth]

Are such a joyful time, but let's be honest, they can also be a lot. There's so much to cook, so much to clean, and unfortunately, so much food waste.

[Sarah]

You know, we're always thinking about the small things we can do that make an impact not just for our own happiness, but for the planet too. And that's why I'm such a big fan of my Mill food recycler. Mill is odorless and fully automated, eliminating all the pain points associated with old fashioned compost pails and smelly garbage cans. It makes keeping food out of the trash as easy as dropping it in. It can be hectic in my home around the holidays, but Mill keeps me keeping my cool when I'm hosting. With all the food prep and guests arriving, I never have to stress about the trash.

[Unknown Female Host]

Plus it looks super cool and modern in my kitchen.

[Elizabeth]

Add Mill to your wish list or gift one now get up to $200 off during their biggest sale of the season. Thursday, November 20th through Monday, December 1st. Miss the sale, you can still get $75 off with code happy visit mill.com happy that's mill.com ha py all right.

[Gretchen]

Gretch, we are back with hacks from listeners and they're in a few different categories. The first one, as we mentioned earlier, is get help.

[Elizabeth]

Yes.

[Unknown Female Host]

So a few listeners wrote in to remind us about an idea that we talked about in episode 393, which is a hack that came from First Lady Jill Biden, which is to use post it notes that list last minute jobs that people can do to help. So you, you put up all these post it notes and then when people ask to help, you just say pick a post it note and do it. And take the post it note down. And so it could be things like cut up the lemons for drinks, open wine bottles, fill the ice bucket, fill the water glasses, light the candles and so people can see what jobs need to be done, claim a job, do it, and then you can see what remains to be done and you don't have to be in the middle of it. And I think the larger point is ask for help. Really look for ways to recruit other people when possible. You don't have to do every single task yourself if you don't have to do every single task yourself.

[Gretchen]

Yeah. When we had people over the other night to watch Fantasy Island, I just said to everybody, please help yourself to drinks. Because if I'm just running around, make sure everybody has something to drink. I'm gonna drive myself nuts.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah. And like let people bring their stuff into the kitchen. It's like that takes one second if many hands make light work, et cetera.

[Sarah]

And then we get a lot of.

[Unknown Female Host]

Suggestions related to making prep work easier.

[Gretchen]

Elyn said, make a list of things I need to buy, prepare and do that I keep and check off before each party. Stock up on wine and booze each time I go grocery shopping months ahead of the party to cut down on party expenses on the month of the party.

[Unknown Female Host]

Right.

[Gretchen]

That's smart.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah. Spread it out over time. Andrea says for each holiday I have an index card with a menu and shopping list on it. Well, this is great if you tend to do something like you have a lot of traditions because you don't need to reinvent that list. You've got it.

[Gretchen]

Cheryl said, I toss all the dirty dishes in a laundry basket and hide them in the bathtub before guests arrive.

[Unknown Female Host]

I love it.

[Gretchen]

That's a woman after my own home.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah, Love it. Now, on the opposite side, Marcian says I keep my house company ready with a baseline of cleanliness and a couple of snacks and drinks on hand so that it's easy to spontaneously invite friends over. So I think that works for some people, but others have to just say, like, deal with it, company.

[Gretchen]

Yes. Deal with the mess.

[Unknown Female Host]

Deal with the mess.

[Gretchen]

Christina said, for kids birthday parties the night before, I pre scoop ice cream into cupcake liners and put them in the freezer on a baking sheet. When it's time to cut the cake, it's easy to ask one of the adults at the party to grab them and pass them out as I cut the cake. It saves time as you're trying to serve everyone and is one less sticky mess the day of the party. And if you have multiple flavors, you don't have the flavors mixing on the ice cream scoop, bouncing back and forth. Since you scoop all of one flavor at a time. This hack always gets a brilliant from a first time guest.

[Unknown Female Host]

Alyssa, our holiday dinners, it's always like, okay, remember to take out the ice cream while we're eating the turkey or else it's going to be rock hard. It's always kind of a little bit of a thing. Yeah, I think that's good. A great idea. Natalie says one way I keep entertaining simple and environmentally friendly is I have a birthday box containing everything needed for a birthday party in one place. Balloons, a reusable Happy birthday sign, birthday candles, photo props, streamers, et cetera. This way I'm not buying plastic decorations only to be thrown out in 24 hours. It saved me lots of time energy.

[Gretchen]

Yes. I do this with New Year's. Whenever I end up having people over for New Year's, I get out that box. Amy said, run the dishwasher and empty it before guests arrive. Then, as the night goes on, you add to it so your kitchen doesn't look too cluttered. Or when everyone leaves, you'll have one less thing to do when you're tired and don't want to clean up.

[Unknown Female Host]

That's a great idea.

[Elizabeth]

All right, Gretch.

[Gretchen]

Coming up, we're going to have more listener hacks. Reverse this break.

[Elizabeth]

This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. You cannot even think of starting a business these days without having a website. And Squarespace makes it so easy. I've noticed, Gretch, people don't even say, do you have a website? They say, have you started your Squarespace? It's so great because you have everything you need for your business right there. You can sell things, you can post things, you can collect information. It's just so easy. And it's easy to set up, which is key to the whole enterprise.

[Sarah]

Yes, they have cutting edge design tools like their blueprint AI builder that just asks a few questions about what vibe you want and what you want to do, and it'll generate a whole custom layout that actually looks like whatever you want. You hardly have to tweak anything. Plus, with Squarespace, their email campaigns are built right in.

[Unknown Female Host]

So once people join your list, you can send newsletter or updates without leaving the platform. Head to squarespace.com happy for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code happy to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Sarah]

You know, when it comes to holiday gift giving, the hope is that we're giving things that people really love. Beautiful, timeless pieces that they'll wear for years. That's why, Elizabeth, you and I love quints. And I mean from Mongolian cashmere sweaters to Italian wool coats, everything Quince does is premium quality at a price. That actually makes sense. Quince has something for everyone. It has silk tops and skirts for dressing up perfectly cut denim for everyday wear and outerwear that actually keeps you warm.

[Elizabeth]

Yes. Crutch. I gave myself a gift from Quince. I just recently got the featherless quilted long puffer jacket in silk and white. So it sort of elevates all of my outfits as we go into winter. I am loving it. Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with quints. Go to quints.com Gretchen for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Gretchen to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Gretchen there is one thing that all people on earth have in common. We move through the world in a human body. Bodies ache.

[Gretchen]

They bleed, they desire.

[Elizabeth]

They hold the stories of our lives.

[Gretchen]

And when people have power over their.

[Elizabeth]

Bodies, when they can access the care their bodies need, they can begin to write their own stories.

[Sarah]

International Planned Parenthood Federation, or ippf, is the world's largest network for sexual and reproductive health rights and justice. They are sharing real stories of people around the world. People like Alina in Malawi who walked miles to the nearest clinic to birth her baby, only to give birth along the way. Every body holds a story and you can read just a few of them [e-mail] everybody. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holidays are a time of traditions. Maybe you're somebody who has lots of traditions around the new year. Maybe you're a person who doesn't have many traditions around the new year. A great tradition to start for yourself is to find ways to make December a way to close the year with clarity rather than chaos. And online therapy is a great way to find that clarity as you head into the new year.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% [e-mail] GretchenRubin that's betterhelp.com GretchenRubin.

More hacks we can all.

[Unknown Female Host]

Learn from each other. These hacks are so helpful. And this bunch of hacks is related to lowering the bar, which is, you know, like, don't again don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Don't get it perfect. Get it going. Remember all those mantras.

[Elizabeth]

Yeah.

[Gretchen]

So Julie Elise says we have an awesome front porch with seating for four comfortably and six. Pushing it. Great for small gatherings or happy hour with a set time limit. Come for a drink.

[Unknown Female Host]

Great. It's sort of self limiting.

[Gretchen]

Yes.

[Unknown Female Host]

Shannon says I love themed potlucks. For example, a board night where everyone brings a different type of charcuterie board, easily customizable, a little more fun than a regular potluck. And the host doesn't have to do everything. So again, it's like you're elevating something, putting your own little spin or theme on it, but basically in a way that keeps things manageable.

[Elizabeth]

Yes.

[Gretchen]

Bonnie said no judgment Fridays where you invite another family over for takeout. Only one rule, you're not allowed to clean up.

[Unknown Female Host]

I love it. I love it. It's not a bug, it's a feature. No, Judg, love it. Like give it a name. Slap a fun name on it and it goes. Amy says we host open house style cocktail parties from 4 to 6pm We've had fantastic attendance because many friends can pop in on their way to other gatherings. Because it isn't mealtime, I put out snacks, which skips the need to make a big meal. Now, Elizabeth, this strikes me as the kind of thing that could work really well in some places, but not others. Like this would not work in New York City very well. And I imagine that it might not work that well in Los Angeles.

[Gretchen]

Yes, because you have to go such far distances that people don't want to drive to one neighborhood and then drive to a whole other neighborhood. Although it could work if you're going to a school event.

[Elizabeth]

Gretch.

[Unknown Female Host]

Well, see, this is what I'm thinking. We happen to just live very close to our daughter's school and so we could have done this. Why don't you come for a drink before this big meeting that all the parents are going to or this performance or whatever? Because people would have been in our neighborhood anyway. So. Yeah, I wish I'd kind of clued into this as an idea. In Kansas City, I think people probably do this a lot. It's probably because it's easier. So that's good.

[Gretchen]

Well, in Kansas City they do the thing of like drinks one place, dinner another place, maybe even dessert somewhere else.

[Unknown Female Host]

That would be super fun.

[Gretchen]

Super fun.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah. Now this is another bunch of hacks related to just making it easier. How do you make the actual entertaining Easier.

[Gretchen]

Yes. So Jean Marie said, we love having a signature thing. We host a crawfish boil a few times a year and it's become something family and friends really look forward to and we can easily pull it off because we have done it several times and have a system. We also host every Christmas Eve but the whole family plans the menu and contributes.

[Unknown Female Host]

I think this is really good. Have one that you just execute the same way if you're somebody who has hostess neurosis because it just gets easier and easier the more you do the same thing. I think that's a great idea.

[Gretchen]

Yes.

[Unknown Female Host]

Chrissy says Nothing beats brownie mix. People rave over a warm brownie with a scoop of ice cream and you can offer different ice cream flavors or use different mix ins for your brownies. It does not have to be fancy. That is so true. Or like Toll House chocolate chip cookies. There is nothing better.

[Gretchen]

Michelle says, I love the Aussie way of entertaining. Bring your own meat and drinks. If it's a barbecue or dinner, the host does the main and asks each guest to bring something to compliment. Still, everyone brings their own drinks and shares. It's very cost effective so we can host most weekends.

[Unknown Female Host]

Yeah. I think Australians are famous for their hospitality so yeah.

[Gretchen]

Yes, that's a great idea.

[Unknown Female Host]

Sarah suggests tacos with various fillings work for meat lovers, vegans, gluten free dairy and nut allergies and picky kids. They are my go to for feeding a group, especially when I don't know all the dietary needs.

[Gretchen]

And finally Gretch, our last hack is actually about being a guest at a party as opposed to hosting a party. And that comes from Kate. She says hi Gretchen, I absolutely loved your episode 424 with Michael Melcher about his book your Invisible Network. He talks about being a secret agent at a party where your mission is to make the party go better. And this is one of my favorite things to do at a party, especially when I don't know anyone or feel awkward. I'm pretty good at taking photos so I give myself the job of party photographer. I make sure to photograph any special touches up close and especially grab a few shots of the hosts and or their children. I try to imagine what they would like in their family photo memories and make sure to photograph that when I get home. I very lightly edit, mostly just crop my favorites and then I text them to the host as soon as possible. I find that as a host myself I almost never take that many pictures of my party and would love the mementos I usually get. Rave reviews and often find my photos on social media posts later in the day. I'm happy to help and it creates a warm bond between awkward guests. Think class birthday party and hosts that can help forge friendships later on.

[Sarah]

Oh my goodness. So many great hacks. Elizabeth. I am totally fired up to entertain more.

[Elizabeth]

Me too. It made me realize that with just a few small tweaks, hosting does not have to feel so overwhelming yet.

[Sarah]

Let us know if you tried any of these at home and which entertaining hacks help you the most. Find us on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook.

[Unknown Female Host]

We always love hearing what works for you.

[Sarah]

We can all learn from each other.

[Elizabeth]

Here's to more fun, less stress and stronger connections this holiday season.

[Sarah]

So Elizabeth, are you feeling happier?

[Elizabeth]

I am feeling happier. Thank you to Chuck and everyone at Lemonada. Remember, if you want to listen ad free, you can [e-mail] Bye Gretch.

[Sarah]

Bye Elizabeth. The best time to start a happiness project is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

From the onward Project.

[Sarah Amos]

Famous Amos. It's a name that is synonymous with chocolate chip cookies. He's also my dad.

[Gretchen]

I'm in a supermarket.

[Sarah]

I'm in convenience stores.

[Gretchen]

I'm in department stores.

[Sarah]

That's what makes Amos famous.

[Sarah Amos]

Wally Famous Amos. He opened the first ever chocolate chip cookie store 50 years ago. When he passed away last year, I set out to understand how he became one of the most famous black men in America.

[Sarah]

I remember dad on the COVID of Time magazine.

[Unknown Female Host]

The headline was the Hot New Rich.

[Sarah Amos]

While also leaving his life and our family and chaos. What did you think when I first told you I was thinking of doing a podcast about our family?

[Unknown Female Host]

How much collateral damage is it going to cause?

[Sarah Amos]

From Vanity Fair, I'm Sarah Amos and this is Tough Cookie, the Wally Famous Amos Story, available wherever you get your podcasts.