59: My Friends HATE My Partner (Q&A!)

Summary

Happy Wife Happy Life – Episode 59: My Friends Hate My Partner (Q&A!)

Release Date: April 7, 2025
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick

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In Episode 59 of Happy Wife Happy Life, hosts Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick dive into a listener Q&A session titled "My Friends Hate My Partner." As self-proclaimed "unqualified but deeply in love comedians," Kendahl and Jordan offer a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and heartfelt advice to address various relationship dilemmas submitted by their audience.

1. Navigating Parental Approval for a Long-Distance Relationship

Timestamp: [04:28] – [12:04]

Listener’s Dilemma:
A 28-year-old woman is in a nine-month long-distance relationship with a partner she met online through Twitch. While her friends are supportive, she fears her conservative parents' reaction to her non-traditional meeting story and geographical distance.

Key Discussions:

• Understanding Generational Differences:
  Jordan emphasizes the shift from traditional courtship to modern online relationships, stating, “Why don't you just go out to the sock hop and meet the boy that lives next door to your house?... things are different” ([05:35]).

• Managing Parental Anxiety:
  Both hosts acknowledge parents' natural concern over safety in online relationships. Jordan advises, “Probably wouldn't tell my parents, probably would tell all my friends” ([05:55]).

• Embracing Unconventional Relationships:
  Kendahl shares her own experience of a long-distance relationship between New York and Los Angeles, highlighting the importance of normalizing such setups to reduce parental apprehension ([07:59]).

• Evaluating Parental Influence:
  Kendahl suggests assessing whether you’d want your parents as friends to determine how much their opinions should affect your relationship decisions ([12:24]).

Notable Quotes:

• Kendahl: “Normalize it. Normalize it. Don't make me feel weird about this thing I'm doing” ([08:43]).
• Jordan: “Think about you as a person. Do you make a lot of bad judgment calls?” ([09:21]).

2. Handling Friends’ Negative Opinions About Your Partner

Timestamp: [12:04] – [33:54]

Listener’s Dilemma:
Kendall describes her first serious relationship with a partner who is new to long-term commitments. Issues arise when her long-time friend Spencer publicly criticizes her boyfriend, causing Kendall to question the impact of her friends' opinions on her relationship.

Key Discussions:

• Distinguishing Between Friends and Relationship Dynamics:
  Jordan points out the impracticality of expecting friends to support every aspect of your relationship, emphasizing personal responsibility in handling critiques ([09:49]).

• Addressing Public Criticism:
  Both hosts agree that confronting Spencer privately about his inappropriate public comments is crucial. Jordan advises, “If he had such an issue, why didn't he talk to you about it before?” ([22:51]).

• Balancing Humor and Seriousness:
  Kendahl and Jordan share insights on differentiating between playful teasing and harmful comments within relationships, emphasizing the importance of clear communication to prevent misunderstandings ([24:29]).

• Evaluating the Friend Group’s Influence:
  Jordan underscores the importance of assessing whether the negative opinions stem from genuine concerns or personal biases, encouraging Kendall to trust her judgment ([32:01]).

Notable Quotes:

• Jordan: “Don’t put all this pressure on it being like it’s queer now. It’s so different” ([40:00]).
• Kendahl: “People who give unsolicited opinions like that are so annoying” ([31:41]).

3. Starting a Queer Relationship as a Demisexual Individual

Timestamp: [34:31] – [40:13]

Listener’s Dilemma:
A 20-year-old non-binary AFAB individual has just entered a flirtatious, long-distance relationship with an 18-year-old female. They express anxiety about their unfamiliarity with queer relationships and demisexuality, seeking guidance on navigating these new feelings.

Key Discussions:

• Embracing First Relationships:
  Jordan encourages the listener to embrace the experience without overanalyzing, stating, “A queer relationship is the same thing as a straight relationship” ([35:57]).

• Avoiding Overthought Analysis:
  Both hosts advise against letting labels like "queer" or "demisexual" create additional pressure, emphasizing honesty and open communication as foundations ([37:30]).

• Understanding Personal Desires:
  Kendahl and Jordan stress the importance of self-awareness in relationships, urging the listener to focus on what they want in the present rather than being overwhelmed by long-term uncertainties ([37:35]).

• Normalizing Diverse Relationships:
  Jordan highlights the universality of relationship challenges, debunking the myth that queer relationships are inherently more complicated or different ([40:13]).

Notable Quotes:

• Jordan: “Don't psych yourself out being like, this is my first queer relationship” ([35:57]).
• Kendahl: “What do I want? I like her. I want to go see her. Go do it” ([37:49]).

4. Managing Drama in an Annual Camping Trip Due to a Friend’s Affair

Timestamp: [40:26] – [45:15]

Listener’s Dilemma:
A listener recounts an annual camping trip plagued by an ongoing affair between two friends—one single and one engaged to her cousin. The resultant drama has made the friend group dynamic uncomfortable, and she seeks advice on whether to uninvite the involved parties this year.

Key Discussions:

• Setting Boundaries:
  Jordan strongly advises removing the problematic friends from the camping trip to preserve group harmony, stating, “Uninvite them” ([42:24]).

• Assessing Friendships’ Impact:
  Kendahl humorously contemplates inviting the couple to witness the chaos, though she concedes that it would likely exacerbate tensions ([45:15]).

• Prioritizing Group Well-being:
  Both hosts emphasize the importance of maintaining a healthy friend group environment over tolerating continuous drama, recommending direct communication and boundary-setting with the involved parties ([44:16]).

Notable Quotes:

• Jordan: “You gotta stop doing that. It doesn't feel good” ([09:44]).
• Kendahl: “But if you decide... you can still do it” ([09:50]).

5. Splitting Costs for Engagement Rings in an Autism-Focused Relationship

Timestamp: [46:04] – [49:38]

Listener’s Dilemma:
A bisexual, pansexual woman planning to get engaged to her mostly straight, autistic partner faces challenges in their approach to purchasing engagement rings. Her partner prefers splitting costs equally, which conflicts with her desire not to bear the financial burden of the ring.

Key Discussions:

• Navigating Financial Agreements:
  Jordan suggests setting a mutual budget and expectations together, ensuring both partners feel comfortable with the financial arrangements ([46:53]).

• Understanding Neurodiversity in Relationships:
  Kendahl highlights the importance of accommodating changes, especially when one partner has autism, noting, “I have to do it. So something's got to be in place” ([47:23]).

• Flexibility and Communication:
  Both hosts advocate for open dialogue and flexibility in financial matters, emphasizing that rules can evolve as the relationship grows ([48:07]).

Notable Quotes:

• Jordan: “Decide on a budget together, make that rule together” ([48:44]).
• Kendahl: “I've had to work through breathing exercises so I don't punch a hole in the wall” ([47:39]).

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Conclusion

Throughout Episode 59, Kendahl and Jordan offer candid and relatable advice on handling complex relationship dynamics influenced by friendships, family expectations, personal identities, and neurodiversity. Their blend of humor and sincerity provides listeners with both comfort and practical strategies to navigate their own relationship challenges.

Notable Final Quotes:

• Jordan: “Love you. Bye” ([49:38]).
• Kendahl: “Love you. Bye” ([49:38]).

This episode underscores the importance of communication, setting boundaries, and embracing the unique aspects of each relationship, all while maintaining a lighthearted and supportive atmosphere.

Transcript

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[Jordan Myrick]

Gotta hear happy price. Price line.

[Kendall Landrin]

Welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life, where your hosts. I'm Kendall Landrin.

[Jordan Myrick]

And I'm Jordan Myrick.

[Kendall Landrin]

And we are too incredibly unqualified but.

[Jordan Myrick]

Deeply in love comedians who are here to help you with all things relationships. And on today's episode, we're doing a Q and A.

[Kendall Landrin]

Oh, I'm just over the moon to be doing this Q and A. This is actually not just a Q and a. It's an email specific Q, Q and A.

[Jordan Myrick]

Why are you over the moon?

[Kendall Landrin]

Because I love reading about your lives.

[Jordan Myrick]

I do too. It really feels fun to do Q A because it feels like we're just talking to friends. Gabbin giving you advice, but it's all solicited advice because we all, you know, you want. Everybody wants to give advice all the time, no matter what.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yes.

[Jordan Myrick]

But this is specifically people looking for advice. So it feels like Kendall and I can just say anything because people are asking for it.

[Kendall Landrin]

And what you guys don't know is that privately in our personal lives with friends, we are giving constant, unsolicited advice. So this podcast is not just a thing that we were like, oh, we need to make up a topic for a podcast so we can have a podcast. We desperately need to give advice that's unsolicited. So this has saved a lot of our friends having to be like, please stop.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kendall Landrin]

You guys always send us the most insane emails, and I'm obsessed with it because I do just get notified in the middle of the day. I'll, like, be at the dentist and I just get an email that's titled, like, my husband's toenails. I found him in my butt is what I wanted to say.

[Jordan Myrick]

What's wrong with you?

[Kendall Landrin]

Well, it'll just be a crazy email headline. And I'm like, what is this? And then I'm like, oh, it's for the podcast.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, but it seems like someone's just emailing you personally.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yes. Or it'll be like, help, Am I gay? And I'm like, who's sending this help? That was a better example.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landrin]

How's your week going, Jordan?

[Jordan Myrick]

My week is going good. Fine. Weird.

[Kendall Landrin]

It's your freaking birthday week.

[Jordan Myrick]

It is my birthday week, which is great. But we did just get noticed that we will no longer be recording at the Spotify studios.

[Kendall Landrin]

I know they're doing some changes here.

[Jordan Myrick]

So nobody's recording at the Spotify studios anymore.

[Kendall Landrin]

We have to be clear. We weren't.

[Jordan Myrick]

We weren't kicked out or anything. We didn't behave poorly. We just won't be. So now we're kind of in a mad scramble to find a new place to record.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yes. This is a real cliffhanger. Whatever episode is released next week, you're gonna kind of see what the conclusion to that is.

[Jordan Myrick]

You're gonna see how we figured it out, how to shake out. Yeah.

[Kendall Landrin]

It's gonna be us in a trash yard.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Hey, there could be no episode next week.

[Kendall Landrin]

No.

[Jordan Myrick]

No way to know. No way to know.

[Kendall Landrin]

But anyways, we're. But honestly, Jordan, I care and love about you, but I can't ask too many more questions because we have that many.

[Jordan Myrick]

You care in love about me.

[Kendall Landrin]

I care in love about you. I care in love about you. But we don't even have time.

[Jordan Myrick]

Fine. I'll go over real quick. It's my birthday weekend. We went to Ojai. Ojai was incredible. We're having the time of our lives. Everything was wonderful. Kendall and I relationship is perfect. We're more in love than ever. Let's get into the questions.

[Kendall Landrin]

Okay.

[Jordan Myrick]

Did I miss anything?

[Kendall Landrin]

And no. No, I don't think so. I think you got it all.

[Jordan Myrick]

Thanks.

[Kendall Landrin]

We had a really good salmon. We had a really good piece of salmon. I know. Hi. It was really good. Okay, here are the email questions. Now buckle up, you guys. There's a lot of drama. And what I will say, I went through this morning and I made like a Google Doc of all the questions, and I was going to go back through and be like, I'll edit them down to be smaller. I was reading through them. I don't. I feel like no detail can be removed.

[Jordan Myrick]

I cannot make them smaller.

[Kendall Landrin]

I cannot make them shorter. I was like, this is a nine paragraph essay. Something has to be able to be taken out. No, you guys are cramming in important details, so we're keeping them full length. So take your Adderall if you need it and buckle in.

[Jordan Myrick]

Let's go.

[Kendall Landrin]

Hi. Jordan and Kendall.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's us.

[Kendall Landrin]

I met my boyfriend of now 9ish months online. We met through Twitch and he lives across the world. And we're so far very happy together. We haven't quite gotten to the part where we talk about what the future looks like for us geographically, which is fine with me, but we are planning to meet each other in person for the first time in a few months. My friends know about him and are all very cool about it being a slightly out of the ordinary setup, but. But I'm a little worried about telling my parents. We're both adults. To be clear, I'm 28 and he's 27, but my parents are retired, boring, and frankly, pretty conservative. And the last time I dated someone seriously, there was always a weirdness in the air, in parentheses, racism. So I'm not entirely sure how they'll react to me dating a person that lives on the other continent. Do you have any advice for talking to parents about meeting your partner in a way that probably would never make sense to them? And I love this question because I feel like so many people are meeting their partners online through dating apps. Well, really, I guess that's it. And I feel like that sometimes takes parents for a. What do you. What would you say? Take parents for a whirl is what I want to say.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, that works.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah. What would you think?

[Jordan Myrick]

Take parents for a whirl. Makes perfect sense. So I think that's true.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

I think that sometimes with older generations, it's like, why don't you just go out to the sock hop and meet the boy that lives next door to your house? And then you guys. And it's like, things aren't like that anymore. Sorry. Things are different. I will say, because you are asking. Nine months and no discussion of the future.

[Kendall Landrin]

You're talking to two lesbians here.

[Jordan Myrick]

That feels. Nine months and no discussion of the future. Nine months and discussion. I'll give it to every camera. Nine months of discussion of the future. Nine months. What's going on? That's too long. That's. That makes me nervous. What's going on?

[Kendall Landrin]

Here's why I think it should make you nervous too. Is that. To me, a lot of things in a relationship are great and important, but I would say I've seen in my adult life more couples break up over geological differences than anything else. Even more than breaking up over kids breaking up over cheating. Cheating. I feel like I know so many couples who love each other, but they cannot find a place that they both want to live. And so I do think that is something you should talk about, but that's not really a question. So maybe that's me giving unsolicited advice.

[Jordan Myrick]

I think it's something to think about. About though I think you're 100% right. And I think nine months of not talking about that feels a little suspect to me. I think a big thing in relation to this with your parents, which is what you're truly asking about, is you have to cut them some slack in relation to this. Because meeting someone from the Internet, from the other side of the world is scary. Something bad could happen. And I understand that you feel like you know this person, you care about this person. Nothing bad could happen. But in reality, something bad could happen. Something bad could happen in meeting someone from a dating website that lives down the street from you. Yeah, meeting new people is scary. So I would understand if your parents felt a little anxious about that. If I were you. Probably wouldn't tell my parents, probably would tell all my friends. You know, it's not going to be a 127 hour situation. Everyone would know where I was. Everyone would have my contact information. Me and this person will be meeting in a secure, neutral spot.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Where's this person from?

[Kendall Landrin]

Right?

[Jordan Myrick]

Singapore. I'm from New York City. We're meeting in France. You know what I mean? Like, we're meeting in a neutral situation. Neutral place. Like don't tell your parents. Your parents don't need to know. All your.

[Kendall Landrin]

They don't need to know. And, and just lie. I mean, this is just. I mean, just tell them you met. I mean, you can even say we met online. We met online. But what I will also say too is it's like I think there is truth. Like you're doing something kind of insane. And that's fine. And no judgment here. Cause hey, I did the same exact thing Jordan and I did. You lived in LA and I lived in New York when we met. And we. I was like, I'm ready to move Los Angeles and be in love. And, you know, shouldn't say it to my face, but I have a feeling my mom was probably like, yikes, There is. I feel like now we were talking about this other day, this need to normalize everything. Like, don't make me feel weird about this thing I'm doing. Normalize it. Normalize it. It doesn't. What you're doing is just simply, statistically not normal.

[Jordan Myrick]

Sometimes what you're doing is weird.

[Kendall Landrin]

And just embrace it, and that's fine. Embrace it. That is exactly right. It's like, no one needs to tell you it's okay. Even if all your friends were, like, weird, it's great. They're being supportive. But if they're like, that's weird, you're insane. Who cares? It's fine. You can still do it. Take people's opinions with a grain of.

[Jordan Myrick]

Salt or maybe they're right, and listen to them. I'm like, think about you as a person. Do you make a lot of bad judgment calls? I think people really need to be honest with themselves about that. Do you make a lot of bad judgment calls? If you make a lot of bad judgment calls and your friends are like, this is probably another bad judgment call. Something to think about.

[Kendall Landrin]

Sure.

[Jordan Myrick]

If in general, you don't make a lot of bad judgment calls, you have a pretty level head on your shoulders, you're pretty responsible, and you're doing something that feels out of the ordinary. Accept that. But. Except that it's a little out of the ordinary, I think people can accidentally get. Like, I need my friends and parents and the people close to me to be 100% on board with every single thing I'm doing and never have any thoughts or questions or negativity around it. And while you don't want a ton of hate.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Also, the people near you are going to have feelings about things you do. Even with Kendall. And, I mean, Kendall does things that I'm like, I wouldn't do it that way.

[Kendall Landrin]

Okay, next question.

[Jordan Myrick]

Or I'd be like, why are you doing it that way? Or, here's how I would do it. I'm not judging her. I'm not being like, you're stupid or you're a bad person. Sometimes the people around you, they're not you. So they're just going to want to talk through things. With you.

[Kendall Landrin]

Also, with parents, it's hard, but I think there does have to be, like, you don't like everything they do. You have judgments about them. So. And I've had to work on this. It's like, they don't need to think 100% positively of you. And I know that is so hard. Like, biologically, I'm pretty sure to process your parents not liking a certain thing about you. And it feels so panicked, like you want them to approve of everything, but the reality is you're ranting to your friends about your parents. And so just let go of. Let yourself out of the prison of needing your parents approval for everything. Because also, especially when it comes to relationships, I think it's true. Where you're like, parents were like, meet him at the sock up. But also, so many people's parents are a nightmare couple.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landrin]

And so many people's parents have zero things in common. And it truly was just. The guy was like, she's hot. And then the girl who was probably 15 years younger is like, yeah, I like that, man. I mean, and then like they get married in two months and then, you know, two years down, they're like, kill me, this is terrible.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Because your parents are just too. Your parents are just two random people.

[Kendall Landrin]

Just two. Right, Exactly. They do not know everything there is to know about relationships. They've made their own mistakes. I think we're in a place now with online dating where we get to be so specific about who we date. I want someone who believes in all these same things as me believes, but also. Which I think makes it easier. But I also think we move so much more. I don't think geological discussions. Am I using the right word geological or is that rocks? Geo. Geology is rocks.

[Jordan Myrick]

Geographical.

[Kendall Landrin]

Geographical is where. So my apologies. My apologies for saying geological for this entire podcast. But geographic discussions were less so, I feel like, because it was just like we're from this small town and we're going to stay living in this small town. So I do think you should discuss that, but mostly just let go of what your parents think.

[Jordan Myrick]

Would you be friends with your parents if they weren't your parents? And I think that's something that should inform the way that your parents judgment affects your life. For me, I like my parents. I would be friends with my parents if my parents weren't my parents. So I take stock of their judgment a little bit more. They have a good relationship.

[Kendall Landrin]

Well, I was gonna say each other like their. I think you can also look at your parents and go, would I want a marriage like this? And if the answer is no, why are you letting them dictate how you date versus I think you would like a marriage like your parents in a lot of ways.

[Jordan Myrick]

Absolutely. I think our relationship is similar to my parents relationship in a lot of ways and I think that's really nice. So I'm quicker to take advice from them than someone who I'm like, I wouldn't be friends with this person and I don't like their relationship. You know, really kind of think about that.

[Kendall Landrin]

I hope that helped. Next question. This is the longest of them, so buckle up for this. I am currently navigating having a boyfriend for the first time in my life and we're entering into our eighth month of dating. While both of us have dated and slept around quite a bit in the past, he's also new to having a long term relationship. Because of this. It's been a bit of a navigation process. I came into the relationship with my guard way up and kind of defending my territory, quote unquote. I have been, I, oh my God.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm like, is is the territory.

[Kendall Landrin]

Oh, that you're making fun of me saying quote unquote.

[Jordan Myrick]

Oh, she stays saying quote unquote, quote unquote. I'm like, is the territory.

[Kendall Landrin]

She explains. I have. Just let me know if this answers your question. I've just seen a lot of friends lose themselves in their relationships and it terrifies me. I think territory of your, who you.

[Jordan Myrick]

Are, who you are. I was like, is territory in reference to like genitals or is territory in reference to your partner? I'm very territorial of this person. I don't know.

[Kendall Landrin]

I don't think it was genitals.

[Jordan Myrick]

Once again, she always has to tell me it's not genitals.

[Kendall Landrin]

You always think it's about genitals. It's not. And he is notoriously very stubborn. The beginning of us dating definitely had some friction due to this, but I feel like we've been able to prioritize. Okay, they're doing good now. This weekend we went out with some friends and pre gamed at my friend Spencer's house. Spencer and I have been close friends for a really long time, but he only met my boyfriend once a month. Once a month ago. And there was some one sided bad blood on Spencer's side over New Year's because my boyfriend backed out last minute of New Year's Eve party plans. And that part is so convoluted. I won't sidetrack you, but you said you like a lot of detail.

[Jordan Myrick]

We do.

[Kendall Landrin]

We do. I have adhd, so naturally I was running late and stressed about it. The thing is, normally I'm able to make up the time because I bike everywhere rain or shine, but my boyfriend said it was too cold to bike. And it is also and is also not a gay walker, which apparently means he's a slow Walker.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm not a gay walker.

[Kendall Landrin]

I assume this person is gay.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well.

[Kendall Landrin]

Well, I don't know.

[Jordan Myrick]

I don't think this person is.

[Kendall Landrin]

Maybe this person might be bi, but it said not a gay walker, AKA he walks at the speed of an old lady. So I think they're saying it's a positive to be a gay walker.

[Jordan Myrick]

Is that a phrase?

[Kendall Landrin]

I've never heard it, but I.

[Jordan Myrick]

A gay walker really means fast. Do gay people walk fast?

[Kendall Landrin]

I don't know. I haven't experienced.

[Jordan Myrick]

Read the rest. I'm looking up the phrase.

[Kendall Landrin]

I got really annoyed with him on the walk for being so slow, and we bickered about it for 15 minutes. I would say on a scale of passive aggressive to joking, it was slightly more passive aggressive. And for me, I will say this is just. This is not even the question you're asking. But Jordan and I have had to really differentiate between arguing and joking because we used to argue all the time where we would start joking. You know, we're nagging each other, and I'm like, okay, stop talking to me like that. I don't think you're talking to me like that, you know, or whatever. And then all of a sudden, we're in an argument and we're both like, how did this happen? It's like, usually because from the very beginning, we weren't really joking. You know what I mean? Like, we were being. We were using joking as a way to communicate something we seriously felt versus when we're actually just joking. So we've had to be like, no more of that. Is gay walker a term?

[Jordan Myrick]

So I have a bunch of texts from our producer Blake, that's, like, alle allegedly gay. He's a gay man. He's like, there's a stereotype that gay men walk fast. Okay? So the first thing that comes up is a GQ article followed by a Vice article, and both of them are titled, why do gay men walk so fast?

[Kendall Landrin]

They're scared. They're running.

[Jordan Myrick]

What is? Why? I've literally never heard of this, and I've never, ever thought about any.

[Kendall Landrin]

Sorry.

[Jordan Myrick]

Gay men in my lives. I don't think of you guys as walking that fast.

[Kendall Landrin]

I feel like the gay men of my lives don't go anywhere. They stay playing their little video games. I'll say it. The only time I see a gay man walk fast is at Disneyland. Okay, let's continue. So they're, like, joking, arguing. It's passive aggressive. Okay. Truth be told, I think the bickering might be a bit misleading because it Was mostly me talking and being like, okay, but I'm not gonna walk faster to save two minutes. And me being a bit butt hurt about it. We can move on from, we know what you feel about this scenario, Jordan, keep going. She's in the wrong. You think that? And I get where she's coming from. That's not even the problem. Here we are at the actual problem. So anyways, we get to Spencer's house and are talking and my boyfriend makes a few jokes, kind of alluding to us bickering on the walk up at my expense. First she thinks about texting the boyfriend, being like, please don't talk about an argument we had in front of a friend. And then she decides, no, I'm not going to send a text. So when Spencer leaves the room, she turns to the boyfriend and is like, why'd you say that? And then he's like, I was joking. Sorry, we had to take a break. I went back and looked at the gender of who sent this and I'm so sorry. Whoever wrote this question, you're a man.

[Jordan Myrick]

And you told us that this is two gay men.

[Kendall Landrin]

This is making the gay walker comment make a lot more sense.

[Jordan Myrick]

And also why they said butthurt. Okay, everything is making more sense. Kendall. You gotta include this kind of info.

[Kendall Landrin]

I'm sorry. And I've also changed my mind because now knowing this is a gay man, you being late is unacceptable. Because why are gay men always so late?

[Jordan Myrick]

Gay men are always late.

[Kendall Landrin]

It's a different. It's a problem. It's actually not your adhd. It's because you're gay and you need to figure it out. Yeah. I love you so much. So anyways, back to the question. They get back to Spencer's house and they're talking and my boyfriend makes a few jokes, kind of alluding to the bickering on the walk up at his expense. It was enough to rub me the wrong way. And I drafted a text and sent him, essentially being like, hey, I know you're joking, but can you not bring up disagreements we've had in front of my friends? I opted not to send it because in my experience, text can just be misunderstood, misinterpreted so easily. But when Spencer went downstairs to grab something, I mentioned it. My boyfriend was like, I was totally kidding and I didn't mean anything by it. We went out and had a fun rest of the night. Great. I know you're like, what does this have to do with your subject line? We've arrived. Here we are. I was hanging out with Spencer and a couple of his friends today, the day after we went out. And I had offhandedly mentioned that I would hate for my friends to secretly hate anyone I was dating in regards to a story someone was telling. And Spencer said, well, I've told you what I think about your boyfriend.

[Jordan Myrick]

And.

[Kendall Landrin]

And I was like, you have not. What do you mean? And then he shared that he thought my boyfriend was really mean to me in both times he'd met Spencer. He said that the whole first time we met, my boyfriend was putting me down and that last night he'd felt the same. Spencer sounded angry talking about it, which really took me aback. For example, last night I'd offered to give my boyfriend a back massage. And he replied, yeah, but from anyone but you. And Spencer. And Spencer mentioned that, but that is because I do a bit where I give my boyfriend terrible massages, which obviously no one else would know. I also genuinely feel like we're bickering and not arguing in these instances. About half of that is what I believe your roommate called sexually charged pretend arguments. Charles said that? I guess.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes. Kendall and I love a sexually charged pretend argument.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yes. When he came on the pod. But there were some things that ran true because I had said to my boyfriend.

[Jordan Myrick]

True.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah. That were true. That ran true. That like word true. I had said to my boyfriend a few weeks ago that I thought maybe we bickered too much in front of other people and it gave the wrong impression. And I have had a higher than average instance of friends past and present kind of using putting me down as a bit or as a way to cover their own anxiety in social situations, which I don't love and I'm not really sure why I'm a magnet for that. I told Spencer and I really appreciated him saying something and then I was gonna think about it and maybe talk to my therapist about it. He responded with some comments about first relationships that to me kind of inferred that I wouldn't be with my boyfriend long term, which I did feel like were well meaning, but also got in my head a lot. Should I keep my eyes more open and assess things more, or is that letting my anxiety take over? Should I bring it up to my boyfriend and if so, how do I do it in a way that doesn't make him uncomfortable around my friends? Slash their. Spencer under the bus. Thanks. Love your podcast so, so much. Sorry for the novel I don't know how to edit down.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay, I have a bunch of thoughts. Yeah, Spencer, your friend, I think, is also being Bitchy. And I think gay men can be so bitchy with each other in a way that other people in other communities are not. And I say this as someone who almost all of my friends my whole life have been almost exclusively gay men. Yeah, I grew up around gay men. All my parents friends are gay men. I didn't know being a gay woman was a thing until I was way too old because I was, like, gay. That's a thing for boys. Because I knew so many gay men exclusively. They can be bitchy with each other, obviously, in a fun, funny way, but they can also be bitchy with each other in a way that feels weird. And I think that colors a lot of this. So, for example, I think it's bitchy that your friend Spencer was like, well, you know what I think of your boyfriend? And then you being like, no, I don't. You haven't. And it's like, okay, why is he bringing that up now? Why is he bringing that up in front of these other people? If he had such an issue, why didn't he talk to you about it before? Why didn't he talk to you about it privately? So that already makes me a little eye roll on Spencer.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah, because also that's embarrassing. Like, if I was out with a bunch of people and one of my friends was like, I think you should break up with Jordan, that would. Well, I. I don't even know what I would do, but I would feel so embarrassed. And also it would make me deeply emotional. So I'm like, why you're choosing to do this in front of a bunch of people feels like you're not really.

[Jordan Myrick]

Thinking about my feelings 100%.

[Kendall Landrin]

So maybe we need to look in the mirror, Spencer.

[Jordan Myrick]

That's exactly how I feel. I also understand the thing of being like, well, we're joking. And they don't get the context of joking. But also, clearly the way in which you're joking is making people uncomfortable. So I also think, stop joking like that in front of your friends. I think that you can kind of poke at each other. But if I think there's truth to the poking or if there's inside jokes, stop doing inside jokes in front of other people. Nobody likes that. So that's on y'all. You gotta stop doing that. It doesn't feel good. And then lastly, being the butt of the jokes I think is very hard. I will say I relate to this a little bit because sometimes I find that because I have a harder exterior than some other people, some of my other friends, Kendall, for example, I think that a lot of times when people want to razz somebody, I'm kind of the easiest person to do because I take it pretty well. I have a good sense of humor. I like razzing and I don't mind, but sometimes it can get relentless, or it can feel like a pile on, or it's too much. And to that I would say just talk to the person that you're having an issue with directly about it. Just be like, hey, I love you, but sometimes you're dunking on me too much. In a way that makes me feel.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah, a little embarrassed.

[Jordan Myrick]

It makes me feel like the butt of the joke. And then I get a little self conscious and I just don't love it.

[Kendall Landrin]

And I think you could do that with some people in our lives. Or maybe I should, because I think people don't realize. I think they see you as so confident, they could never think of you being, like, insecure about something.

[Jordan Myrick]

Well, this is what I'll say to that. You don't even have to be insecure because I am confident. A lot of times what it is, it's not like somebody's saying something that's making me insecure. But sometimes it's like when you're in a group and everybody's being sweet to each other and then it's just you and everyone's being like, but you are a. You suck. We all kind of hate you. Even if, you know it's in a jokey way, sometimes it can get kind of like, okay, well, I don't really know how to respond to this.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Kind of puts me in a little bit of a pickle.

[Kendall Landrin]

Well, I think we're. For me, because I. I haven't had it in that way, but I used to struggle with a similar thing when it came to my intellect. I feel like I would always struggle. I would always tell you this. I was like, everyone kind of treats me like I'm stupid. I feel like everyone thinks I'm stupid. And I've always had that, you know, like since I was a little girl. I feel like because of my ADHD or just my personality in general, you know, I'd be called an airhead, a dumb blonde, whatever it was. And I would really internalize that. And it. And as an adult, I would feel like I got really comfortable being the butt of the joke in terms of me being stupid. And I had to be real that I would play into it too. Like, I would totally play into. Oh, I don't know. I have no idea. I'm Stupid. I'm whatever. But I would tell you when it would hurt me is then we're all joking. We're all joking. A conversation about something comes up, I'm sharing something, I know about it, and it feels like people aren't listening or don't care. Kind of like, oh, yeah, okay, sure. And I'm like, see, this becomes. It's not a joke now because this means you actually, actually think I'm stupid, which I'm not. And I think maybe when it comes to this, we totally razz each other so much in front of people. And I will say there are some people we don't razz each other in front of because we've learned over time, it doesn't. They don't get it. But I do think a skill we've had to learn, from my perspective, is razzing each other about things that are genuinely a joke.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes.

[Kendall Landrin]

Like, I do think there is that really hard dynamic of, like, we're joking about things we actually feel an opinion about, we actually joke about. It's like we joke about, for example, Jordan wanting to put that furby on our set next to my dad's urn. We joke about that because that is a non issue. Like, it literally is a non issue. Like, it's genuinely funny to us. It's not even. Obviously, it's like, not really how it happened. It's like, told to be funny. But also, I feel deep down that Jordan cares for my dad probably more similarly to me than anyone else I know. I don't feel disrespected in any capacity by you. And you're wanting to, like, commemorate my father. Like, that is not a thing I feel at all. So we're able to joke about it. We are able to joke about so many things that are truly a joke. There are things that when we start getting passive aggressive, jokey, it usually we have to be like, no, let's stop. Which is a muscle. We've learned. I've learned to be like, okay, I know we're joking. Let's take a pause on the jokes. Are you being serious right now? Because that is something we really did struggle with. I feel like we would have so many arguments like that. It was like, joking, joking, joking, and all of a sudden we're not joking. You know?

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes. I also think it's like, you can joke about things that have already been handled, are completed, or even things that you're not feeling upset about in that time. You know, I will joke about Kendall's adhd, and sometimes Kendall will do things with her ADHD that will hurt my feelings or make me feel not thought about or whatever. But in those moments, I'm not joking. And I know I can be very intense and you'll tease me about that. But it's never in moments where you're actually feeling like, hey, I'm feeling a little like bombarded right now or like, what? You know what I mean? Like, in those moments, you have to lead with honesty. And once you're having honesty in all the other aspects of your relationship, you're able to actually make fun of people. But also some people are more sensitive. So you might have friends that like, can't take a joke. When we get together with our friends Ben and Lily, all four of us are making fun of our partners, making fun of each other, making fun of ourselves. Like, that's just the dynamic. And it's fun and we all enjoy it. But then sometimes Kendall and I will be with people or whatever and I'll be like, well, the old ball and chain. And I'll immediately then be like. And I'm like, okay, you guys just like, aren't like that. You guys just don't like to tease, you don't like to joke, and that's fine too. So I'm like, read the room. Nordstrom brings you the season's most wanted brands. Skims, Mango Free people and Princess polly. All under $100. From trending sneakers to beauty must haves, we've curated the styles you'll wear on repe this spring. Free shipping, free returns and in store pickup make it easier than ever. Shop now in stores [e-mail].

[Kendall Landrin]

McDonald's meets the Minecraft universe with one of six collectibles and your choice of a Big Mac or 10 piece McNuggets with spicy nether flame sauce. Now available with a Minecraft movie meal. I participate in McDonald's for a limited time, a Minecraft movie only in theaters, but also, sorry, Spencer does not have to like your partner. Like I. Your friends don't have to like your partner. And honestly, I think people who give unsolicited opinions like that are so annoying if you are not in. Obviously we've seen people where we're like, this is bad. This relationship is really bad. And in. But even sometimes in those moments, you're like, unless it is like that person's in physical danger, you're like, there is only so much that it's appropriate for me to do. This is not my relationship. This is my life. And I think some people love to Give an opinion. And I think relationships are one of the hardest things we say as someone. People doing a relationship podcast. Relationships are some of the hardest things to give opinions on because there's so much that happens behind closed doors. Now. Is there truth that, like, if everyone doesn't like your partner doesn't really matter what's going on behind closed doors because clearly they're kind of an asshole? Sure. But I think there's also so much growth that has to. To happen in a relationship. So clearly there needs to be a conversation between you and your boyfriend about talking, how you want to talk with. In front of each other, how arguments need to go. Clearly there needs to be a conversation about when you're going to leave the house to leave for stuff. Because both of you leave earlier.

[Jordan Myrick]

Leave earlier. Walking fast enough to not be late to stuff.

[Kendall Landrin]

Leave earlier. But then also, you know, to. To this person's point, it's like if we are running late and you're refusing to walk faster, it's like, also, I need you to kind of help me help yourself if we. I'm going to do my best to not run late in these three ways, but if we ever are running late, if you could kind of support me. That's a con. There's a conversation for that. Of course. But you're going to have to work on all those things and they're not going to be fixed tomorrow. And Spencer doesn't need to give his opinions every step of the way. Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

The fact that Spencer did the public calling out of you feels. Feels rude to me. I don't like that.

[Kendall Landrin]

Also. Also, I'm sorry and this is mean to you. I love getting massages. Jordan may be the worst person to ever give a massage.

[Jordan Myrick]

I've broken both my wrists multiple times, so I suffer from chronic wrist pain. Sorry that. That's inconvenient.

[Kendall Landrin]

Well, it's. It really. Getting a massage from Jordan is like. It. It really is. Like when one of those. What are they called? Big mouth basses are on the. Do you know what I'm talking about, Billy Big Bass or whatever it's called. Hitting you in the. Hitting you in the back over and over again. I'm just saying it's not that crazy to be like, I want a back massage from anyone but you. Jordan pays. You're very sweet. You pay for me to get back massages.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Cause I can't do it. Both my wrists have been broken a bunch of times.

[Kendall Landrin]

Right. And I just think that's very convenient. That's all I'LL say, oh, you think.

[Jordan Myrick]

It'S easier for me to pay $150 for you to go get a massage every other week? Because I live with chronic pain. People better be coming to my defense in these comments. I want to hear some people being like, I can't believe Kendall's talking about Jordan like that, please.

[Kendall Landrin]

No, but I'm just saying you don't have to be. You and your partner can have. You're two people. You can have tiffs and problems and things you disagree with about each other, and you don't have to be like a massage baby. I would want. The only thing I want in this world is for you to touch my body in front of my friends.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's like, I have two thoughts, too.

[Kendall Landrin]

Go ahead.

[Jordan Myrick]

Number one, does your boyfriend suck? Does he suck? Sit down. Have a long, hard think about it. Does your boyfriend suck? Is he flaky? Or is Spencer being unreasonable about the New Year's Eve thing? Like, sit down and find your own moral compass and really figure out who you side with. But also, like, Spencer will get over it. But talk to all these people. Go to Spencer, say, hey, I didn't like when you brought that up in front of that group of people. Thought that was really rude. If you have a problem, just let me know. Not everything has to be like, little digs and jabs and things that you never fully address. I know people think it's like a big drama being like, hey, can I talk to you about something? But, like, just. It's so quick and easy, and let's just clean it up and we're done.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah. And I. 100%, I totally agree. I totally agree. But I also, to answer one of your other questions, I don't think you should. This is my opinion. I don't think you should tell your boyfriend that's. Spencer said that. Because I think you now are setting up.

[Jordan Myrick]

Unless you're not gonna be friends with Spencer.

[Kendall Landrin]

Unless you're not gonna be friends with Spencer, which I'm also not opposed to that. You know, I'm a big wife guy.

[Jordan Myrick]

I.

[Kendall Landrin]

If Jordan doesn't like someone, you're done by. Sorry. I know people might say that's unhealthy. I don't care. My. Because guess what? My wife doesn't dislike many people.

[Jordan Myrick]

True.

[Kendall Landrin]

So if my wife doesn't like you, you. Oh, I think it's hilarious when a friend I've had not many times, but a friend will try to say something about you.

[Jordan Myrick]

One time, honey.

[Kendall Landrin]

Bye.

[Jordan Myrick]

One specific.

[Kendall Landrin]

What do you think I'm going to.

[Jordan Myrick]

Do who I'd been so nice to.

[Kendall Landrin]

You'd been so nice to. What do you think I'm going to do? Be like, oh yeah, I agree. You'll never hear me talking bad about my wife. That's for my therapist.

[Jordan Myrick]

And join Patreon to find out who that friend was.

[Kendall Landrin]

I will tell you on Patreon. No, don't sign up for that. I can't decide yet. I have just too much pressure. I need to think about it. But I'm close. Hope that answered your question. Thank you for listening to that whole spiel. I did feel like I like Also, I don't want to get rid of the details because I like getting to know these people. Sure. I want to hear all the lore.

[Jordan Myrick]

These are our family.

[Kendall Landrin]

Here we go. The next question so I 20 non binary afab met this girl, 18 female just over a week ago at this pop up arcane themed boba shop.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah, of course you did. Of course you did. Sometimes people will just saying stuff and I'm like 100%.

[Kendall Landrin]

We exchanged Instas and I've been texting pretty frequently ever since and it's been flirtatious. She's super sweet and enthusiastic in her text. She's so real and we've so many common interests, bands, music, horror shows. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. Cute. Fortunately. Oh, she lives three hours away.

[Jordan Myrick]

I could have told you that.

[Kendall Landrin]

Oh man. And she doesn't have a car. But I do. I really want to keep getting to know her better. I want to go visit her and hang out at the mall or a park or thrift store or whatever. What worries me though is this. I've never been in a queer relationship and I'm not even sure what I want, much less what she wants. I'm demisexual. Oh Demi romantic. I read it as I'm demisexual and democratic. It's like, okay, I'm demisexual and demi romantic and I'm very hesitant in relationships, but I can't stop thinking about her. I'm so unfamiliar with crushes, especially queer ones, and the feelings and thoughts that go along with them. And I don't have many friends to confide in about this. So here I am writing into Yalls lovely podcast. Well, we're your friends so that's perfect. I fear I'm just overthinking everything. I want to go visit her by the end of the month. Just to hang out in person and experience more of the real her, not just the person I've romanticized through text whether it's just a friendship or it becomes something more. I just want to get to know her better. So I guess if I'm asking for anything here, it's that y'all slap some sense into me, please.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, this is good. You're happy, you're having fun. You're both young. Drive three hours and go see her. Who cares? It's going to get annoying that she doesn't have a car eventually, but y'all will cross that bridge when you come to it. It doesn't matter. You're having fun. You seem so excited. Just lean into it. Why not? And you even said you're open to friendships. Do not psych yourself out being like, this is my first queer relationship. I don't know what I want. None of that matters. I will say it time and time again until I'm blue in the face. I think a big problem that we have in the queer community is people being very quick to be like, but this is a queer relationship. Well, this is my first queer relationship. Well, I've never. It doesn't matter. A queer relationship is the same thing as a straight relationship. Other than, in my opinion, some inherently political differences, obviously, in terms of, like, queerness at large. But you're not gonna be, like, doing something different in a queer relationship than I think you should be doing in a straight relationship. Every single relationship, you wanna find someone who's compatible. You wanna find someone who's respectful. You wanna find someone who you enjoy and who wants the same thing as you. So don't put too much pressure on yourself around being like, this is my first queer relationship. It's fine. Even if it's your first relationship in general, it's fine. You will figure it out. And to me, the same thing goes for you. Don't know what you want. Just be honest about that. Don't get caught up in things and be like, I want to marry you when that's not actually how you feel.

[Kendall Landrin]

But I also think sometimes we use a defense mechanism of I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want.

[Jordan Myrick]

True.

[Kendall Landrin]

How come you're going to tell me I don't know what I want and then list in three paragraphs everything that you want.

[Jordan Myrick]

It's true.

[Kendall Landrin]

You may not know what you want long term, sure. But you think you don't know what you want to do. And yet you keep being like, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed, obsessed with this girl. I want to get to Know I want to get to know the real her. Come on, you're already in the car driving right now.

[Jordan Myrick]

Absolutely.

[Kendall Landrin]

Stop pretending you know you want. It's easy if you just look inward. What do I want? Well, I don't know what I want for maybe the future, maybe in the next two weeks. What do I want right now? I like her. I want to go see her. Go do it.

[Jordan Myrick]

And I think there are things, too, and this is not where you're at, but I think there are things like, I 100% don't want children. This person 100% does want children. Makes sense to know that. Makes sense to think about that. If you don't know if you want children, it's fine to say, I don't know if I want children or not. If you are open to something long term, but you're also open to something short term, it's fine to say that all of these things are normal. But in terms of, like, having your whole life and every wish and want planned out ahead of time, this person you're talking to could move to outer space in three weeks. You have no clue. Nothing is guaranteed. There's no way to know. So just go with what you want. Try to think big picture, but be reasonable and just be honest. And I think you'll be fine.

[Kendall Landrin]

And fine means also, if you're living your life properly, you're going to upset people. Making someone upset, hurting someone's feelings, making someone sad, that's a part of life, and you can't not do that. And also, it's not illegal. Newsflash. I think some people are like, oh, I hurt her. That's bad. I am bad. And it's like, no, if you decide, I think in dating all the time, I mean, you hear this a lot in the queer community because people be like, well, I'm bisexual, but I'm. I've never kissed a girl, so I'm worried to go on a date with someone and then, like, kiss them and then not be by. You know what I mean? And it's like, yeah. And then you'll be like, bye, I'm actually not interested in you. And she might be sad. And that's fine. You're not in charge of that woman.

[Jordan Myrick]

Would happen with a man.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yes.

[Jordan Myrick]

You know what I mean? Like, you would go on a date with a man and then maybe you kiss him and it's not there. And then you're like, okay, it's. I'm not feeling it. And then you send them a respectful text message, and then you don't see each other anymore.

[Kendall Landrin]

Exactly.

[Jordan Myrick]

Right. And I think it's the same thing. That's something. Don't put all this pressure on it being like it's queer now. It's so different. It's like it's. It's not. People, I think, want to romanticize homosexuality in a way that is very fun sometimes, but I think in other ways can be really oppressive.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

Really stunting. Really scary. And it's like Kendall and I's relationship is the most normal relationship I have ever been in. And it's a gay relationship. So I'm like, just relax.

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah, totally. All right, next question. Hey, love you both. In that weird, parasocial way. I feel like we're friends. We love you too. I need help. We have an annual camping trip with our friends coming up. We need to do that.

[Jordan Myrick]

No.

[Kendall Landrin]

An annual camping trip. God, that's fun.

[Jordan Myrick]

We don't like camping. You don't like camping either. What are you talking about?

[Kendall Landrin]

Annual camping trip?

[Jordan Myrick]

Let's just go to BJ's and get a pizookie. You like that more now.

[Kendall Landrin]

Wait a minute.

[Jordan Myrick]

Thank you.

[Kendall Landrin]

You know me so well. There's about 15 of us, plus a couple kids. 15 plus a couple kids. This is the thing. Two of those friends had an affair. The guy is single and the girl is engaged to my cousin. Stop writing in and pull out the cameras. Film this camping trip.

[Jordan Myrick]

Finish the question.

[Kendall Landrin]

This is reality TV gold. Let me say it again. The two friends had an affair. The guy is single and the girl is engaged to my cousin. And they all come camping. Usually. It came out a year later that they had sex at our friend's wedding. Upon further investigation, it also turns out that summer they hooked up on our annual camping trip. The night her fiance was stuck at work.

[Jordan Myrick]

Okay, so these people have been together multiple times now.

[Kendall Landrin]

On the camping trip, it sounds like.

[Jordan Myrick]

But also at a wedding. These people are just hooking up. This is like not. This was not a one time mistake.

[Kendall Landrin]

No, this is an affair.

[Jordan Myrick]

Keep going.

[Kendall Landrin]

An affair means continued. I'm pretty sure we're all adults and affairs shouldn't be everyone's business. But it feels like one affects our friend group dynamic. And it feels yucky. They do not have an open relationship. And my cousin didn't find out until after the friend group found out. Unfortunately, the guy drunkenly told the friends and then the girl was forced to tell. How do I get in this friend group? I want a friend group like this. I love my friends. Nothing going on, Kittle.

[Jordan Myrick]

You don't want to leave our house. You're not going on a sexually fueled camping reality TV show, so relax.

[Kendall Landrin]

Boring. We have nothing. We're all in happy little relationships. I'm bored and I'm over it. Do something. Cheat on me, please.

[Jordan Myrick]

All right.

[Kendall Landrin]

Okay. Please don't.

[Jordan Myrick]

Blake, our producer, get in here.

[Kendall Landrin]

The question is, should we just uninvite them this year?

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes.

[Kendall Landrin]

Is that petty or entitled? I feel it would put my cousin in an awkward position now that he knows, but I also feel bad him missing out. Thanks.

[Jordan Myrick]

Is the cousin still with the woman? It seems like yes.

[Kendall Landrin]

The guy is single and the girl is engaged to my cousin.

[Jordan Myrick]

The girl is still with the cousin?

[Kendall Landrin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Myrick]

What's going on?

[Kendall Landrin]

Why is the cousin.

[Jordan Myrick]

They're still together. Just invite the cousin. Invite the cousin, and then everyone get him a cookie cake that says I'm sorry and frosting on it.

[Kendall Landrin]

This is fine.

[Jordan Myrick]

I don't. I have no clue.

[Kendall Landrin]

The cousin came out on top. I know. The cousin heard the information off here.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, the cousin's sad. The cousin has stuff going on. What's going on with the cousin? That the cousin's gonna go on this camping trip again with his fiance or wife that cheated, plus the person she cheated with. Something's going on.

[Kendall Landrin]

The cousin, I don't think. Cheated. No, Kendall, the cousin didn't get cheated on.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yes.

[Kendall Landrin]

We have an annual camping trip with my friends. The guy is single. The girl is engaged to my cousin.

[Jordan Myrick]

So the cousin got cheated on?

[Kendall Landrin]

No, the. Oh. Oh.

[Jordan Myrick]

What did you think?

[Kendall Landrin]

I thought the guy and the girl had an affair, and it ended up later that the cousin and the girl got together.

[Jordan Myrick]

So that would not be an affair. That would be called hooking up.

[Kendall Landrin]

That would be dating.

[Jordan Myrick]

That would be dating. No. So I'm like, why are they going on another camping trip where the cousin and his wife or fiance plus the guy? Because I thought it was all going to be secret and it was going to be like, my cousin still doesn't know, and that's why we're still doing this. Why is your cousin agreeing to go on this camping trip again? Something is going on with your cousin. Check in with your cousin. That is not. Well, behavior is what I'll say first and foremost, secondly, yeah, uninvite them. They are creating a weird dynamic, and I think them having sex on your camping trip after they've already had sex before. They are being inconsiderate to the group. They're putting everyone in a weird situation.

[Kendall Landrin]

And I need to know, are the kids theirs? Whose kids?

[Jordan Myrick]

Probably other People in the front.

[Kendall Landrin]

But imagine.

[Jordan Myrick]

Sure.

[Kendall Landrin]

Because that could also answer your questions why the cousin wants to come on the trip. Maybe they're trying to do a co parenting thing.

[Jordan Myrick]

Maybe. I don't know. Once again, we need more information. But I'm just like, talk to your cousin. That's weird. But uninvite all of them. I think that when they started. Once again, I always say this a one time heat of the moment thing, I think can be forgiven, and I think it can be moved past. I don't think that's always intentional. I think sometimes it's just caught up. These people have now, at least that we know of, had sex twice, both times at friend functions, putting kind of everyone in a weird position. I think that's inconsiderate. I think you're all just kind of like pawns in their sexual escapades and they're being inconsiderate. I think they get on in my camping.

[Kendall Landrin]

All right, I'm gonna speed it along.

[Jordan Myrick]

Do you think I'm right or wrong?

[Kendall Landrin]

I think you're right. I think I would. Ultimately, though, I would love to go on this camping trip. I really, you know, I think this sounds chaotic, but I would like to witness. First of all, I think it's bad because my advice would be like, well, don't uninvite. It doesn't affect you. Just kind of let the drama happen and enjoy it.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, Kendall, that's not good advice.

[Kendall Landrin]

I know, but that's what I would do.

[Jordan Myrick]

All right, we have time for one more quick one.

[Kendall Landrin]

Can I do two? I'll be really fast.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, we're already over.

[Kendall Landrin]

Oh, my God. Okay, well, then I need to do a shoot. I need to do one more, and then I'm gonna do a shout out and then there's an update, but we'll save it. Someone from another episode wrote in a question. They sent an update.

[Jordan Myrick]

We'll do another one of these.

[Kendall Landrin]

We'll do that later. But I'm saying is we're doing more Q and A's. Here we go. Love the podcast. Just became a spouse on Patreon. God bless you.

[Jordan Myrick]

Thank you.

[Kendall Landrin]

I'm going to try to keep it brief, but some background information is important. My partner and I have been together for almost five years, and we're planning on getting engaged soon. I'm bisexual, pansexual woman, and he is a mostly straight man. He's the love of my life, and we're very excited to build a life together financially. We split things based on income and this works well for Us when it comes to an engagement ring, my partner wants us to split the cost the same as all our other expenses. Although I understand where he's coming from, I really don't want to pay for my engagement ring. Also, my partner has autism, so changing rules can often build be difficult for him. Any advice? This is funny to me because it's really not that hard. You buy your engagement ring and. No, you buy.

[Jordan Myrick]

He buy his or him buys yours.

[Kendall Landrin]

And just make them the same price.

[Jordan Myrick]

Yeah. Or just have him set a budget of what he feels comfortable doing.

[Kendall Landrin]

Also, you guys gotta have something in place for when rules do change. Cause that's not gonna work. That there's just no rules changing ever. Because it doesn't mean that something being harder for someone. Listen, with my adhd, when I'm building a desk and I realize that I don't have all the tools, it makes me want to. I won't even say because I'll get demonetized. What I want to do. Changing plans for me with ADHD can be really hard. I have to do it. I've had to work through breathing exercises so I don't punch a hole in the wall. But I have to do it. So something's got to be in place.

[Jordan Myrick]

I spent thousands of dollars on therapy and anti anxiety medications because I got it, you know, So I think it's like, yeah, just because something's going on doesn't mean it's the reason. If you don't want to pay for your own engagement ring and that makes you feel bad. Express that. I'm also like, that's not a rule change.

[Kendall Landrin]

We'll talk about rule change. That's the rule is usually that you pay for your wife's engagement ring.

[Jordan Myrick]

That. That's what I'm saying. So I'm like, what's the rule change?

[Kendall Landrin]

That's the rule changes that they always split everything straight down the middle.

[Jordan Myrick]

I'm just like, how is that a rule change?

[Kendall Landrin]

Because now they're not.

[Jordan Myrick]

So they split the cost of all their Christmas gifts for each other. They split the cost of every birthday gift for each other.

[Kendall Landrin]

They might do like a budget or so I don't know.

[Jordan Myrick]

But a budget is different.

[Kendall Landrin]

A budget. A budget is different. What your little hand at me.

[Jordan Myrick]

No, but a budget is different. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just saying, I think the being like rule changing is hard for him. I'm like, it might be. That seems like a very interesting and confusing way for that to be applied to this situation. To me personally, and you did ask for my advice. So what I'm saying is decide on a budget together, make that rule together. If rule stuff is really important to him, make that rule together. Then you buy his ring, he buys your ring. If he doesn't want a ring, he buys your ring, you buy his suit for the wedding, whatever. Like there's a way to make it equitable. If yalls whole thing in your relationship is that everything is equitable. Yeah, I think there's a way to figure it out.

[Kendall Landrin]

And need I say congratulations on the.

[Jordan Myrick]

Engagement and congratulations, you guys are gonna have a great marriage and I'm excited for you.

[Kendall Landrin]

I just have to say this. Gerard, who is our sugar mommy on Patreon? Gerard wrote in a question and he said, P.S. you have no idea how much joy it brought me to hear that I was your first sugar mommy in this week's minisode. I love what you do. I'm so happy to be able to support it, even just a little. Gerard, we adore you. We're not answering your question this week. Cause I ran out of time. I literally planned for it to be the last question. We ran out of time. But next time your question will be.

[Jordan Myrick]

Gerard, you are the ultimate patron of the arts. Thank you so much. We love you.

[Kendall Landrin]

We adore you.

[Jordan Myrick]

We have to finish. And everyone say goodbye to the Spotify office.

[Kendall Landrin]

It's done. It's goodbye.

[Jordan Myrick]

Who knows where we'll be next week? Okay.

[Kendall Landrin]

Your Patreon support is appreciated now more than ever.

[Jordan Myrick]

Comment? Subscribe.

[Kendall Landrin]

Love you. Bye.