Happy Wife Happy Life - Episode 91 Summary

Podcast: Happy Wife Happy Life
Hosts: Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick
Episode Title: The Internet Phenomenon That Is "Private, Not Secret"
Release Date: December 1, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively and insightful episode, comedians and real-life couple Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick delve into the increasingly popular relationship concept of "private, not secret." They unpack what this means, why it resonates (especially online), and how it manifests in their own partnership. The duo candidly discusses privacy and transparency in long-term relationships, with plenty of humor, anecdotes, and a few memorable debates along the way. Audience questions spark spirited discussions about phone usage, boundaries, location-sharing, and even how much to share about porn preferences with a partner.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Cozy Weekend & Relationship Media Rituals

• [00:57] - [07:25]
  • The hosts recap their dream weekend, complete with binge-watching crime dramas (Vigil and Deadloch), house cleaning, and quiet downtime.
  • They reflect on how their TV tastes overlap and differ, and the importance of having shared rituals — “something to come home to” — for partners.
  • Jordan: “It’s so nice to have a show. You need to have a show or a book—something to come home to that you’re just yearning for.” (05:04)
  • Kendahl: “I can watch stuff that’s bad, but there’s lesbians in it or there’s romance... I will watch shows that I feel like you couldn’t be paid to watch.” (05:38)
  • They joke about how hard it is to tell male characters apart in certain shows, underscoring the need for strong female leads.

What Is "Private, Not Secret"?

• [08:10] - [16:05]
  • The episode’s focus: "private, not secret" relationships, where a couple is known to be together (not hiding the relationship), but details and intimacy are kept offline or within select circles.
  • Social media examples: posting ambiguous photos (e.g., a hand-holding shot, partner’s face hidden), sharing just enough to not be secretive.
  • Jordan: “People can know you’re in a relationship, but you keep a lot private... It manifests most on social media—it’s not a secret, but you’re private.” (08:21)
  • Both hosts relate to this, especially given their podcast’s balancing act: they’re open about being together but with defined limits about what’s truly shared.

The Line Between Content & Intimacy

• [09:49] - [11:41]
  • Kendahl and Jordan reflect on what they consciously withhold: sex, baby talk, private nicknames, and deeply emotional moments—keeping these off the podcast and social media.
  • The podcast is “comedy first”—all sharing is in service of humor or helpful advice, not oversharing simply for authenticity’s sake.
  • Jordan: “This is not the time where we’re... in couples therapy. Anything past a certain threshold of emotion, we don’t discuss on this podcast.” (11:22)

Kendahl’s Deep-Seated Privacy

• [11:41] - [14:51]
  • Kendahl’s disposition is naturally private—sometimes even with family. She avoids sharing non-comedic personal updates, such as her father’s passing, because “nobody needs to know.”
  • Kendahl: “I just don’t like putting people in situations where they feel like they need to comfort me... No one needs to be in that position.” (14:09)
  • Jordan details adjusting to Kendahl’s privacy in their relationship: “You will do almost anything for the laugh, but if it’s not funny, you don’t want to share it.” (12:11)

How Privacy Shapes the Podcast & Their Advice

• [15:03] - [16:51]
  • Even though much is kept private, their relationship informs the advice they give—naturally, as their opinions have changed over time with growth.
  • Kendahl: “Advice I would have given a year ago is different... our relationship informs the podcast.” (16:50)

Navigating "The Line" & Unspoken Boundaries

• [17:33] - [19:26]
  • They discuss how, despite not defining explicit boundaries, they’re usually on the same page about work, time, and priorities—intuitive boundaries as a strength.
  • Kendahl: “Maybe I’m not comfortable talking about the lines because I’ve been fortunate not to really have to.” (19:26)

Socialization & Mood

• [19:47] - [21:19]
  • Kendahl shares feeling off after a month spent mostly in solitude with work, making social outings (like attending a movie premiere) feel extra intense.

Listener Questions: Privacy & Boundaries

Phone Calls at Home

• [25:07] - [27:28]
  • Who takes phone calls in front of whom?
    • Generally, both hosts take calls in front of each other unless it’s for privacy (e.g., a friend in crisis or professional matters).
    • Jordan’s family is big on announcing speakerphone for privacy—a practice Kendahl had to learn.
    • Therapy sessions are a privacy must; Kendahl schedules therapy when Jordan’s gone; Jordan isn’t bothered if overheard but respects privacy.
    • Memorable quote:
      • Kendahl: “Therapy is something I really don’t want anyone in my house for... I schedule therapy when you’re gone.” (27:20)

Checking Your Partner's Phone

• [28:56] - [33:20]
  • Is it ever okay to check your partner’s phone without their consent?
    • Both generally say no—except in rare, extreme, potentially breakup-level cases like suspected cheating where trust is already broken.
    • “Addicted to snooping” is a real risk—once you start, it’s easy to justify ongoing mistrust.
    • Kendahl: “If I snooped once, there’s no going back. If I checked once, I’d do it every day.” (29:55)
    • Jordan: “If your partner’s gaslighting you and you know they’re cheating, and you do a little snoop and then break up—I get it. But to have an ongoing partner you regularly check up on? Bad news bears.” (30:12)
  • Spoilers: The real risk in healthy relationships is not infidelity, but accidentally ruining gift or surprise plans.

Location Sharing & Surveillance/Trust

• [33:20] - [40:29]
  • Should couples share their locations? Is it healthy?
    • Kendahl is staunchly against sharing phone locations—believes it feeds an illusion of control, erodes self-soothing and trust, and enables controlling behaviors.
    • Kendahl: “Everything is a muscle... Over time, you lose the ability to soothe yourself and you lose trust with your partner that’s not based in a phone.” (33:48)
    • Jordan is more relaxed: sees location sharing as a practical safety feature, not inherently a trust breach if not abused.
    • Jordan: “In a happy, healthy relationship, there’s no reason why you can’t have each other’s locations for emergencies.” (34:40)
    • They acknowledge nuance: for some, it’s harmless; for others, it can fuel anxiety or controlling dynamics.

Keeping Porn Preferences Private

• [40:30] - [44:53]
  • Is it OK to keep your porn interests secret from your partner?
    • Both agree: secrecy around basic preferences is unnecessary and honesty is healthy, especially for actual fetishes or significant kinks—these should be shared.
    • That said, nobody has to report every random odd viewing experience.
    • Jordan’s memorable example: “Once every 60 days I incorporate one piece of clown porn—like, a lady with face paint. I don’t think I have to tell you that.” (42:33)
    • Both are open books about their sexual interests with each other.
    • Kendahl: “We’ve watched it together... When Jordan gets home, I’ll update her: ‘I watched porn, then I did this...’” (41:10)
    • Wackiest admitted preferences: Kendahl went through a “truck driver amateur” phase; Jordan jokes about boat sex.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On boundaries:

  • Kendahl: “We don’t put 75% of our relationship out there.” (14:52)
  • Jordan: “This podcast is not about revealing every element of Kendahl and I to the public.” (15:51)

• On honesty vs. privacy:

  • Jordan: “You have to share what feels good to you... there are some things that are just private.”
  • Kendahl: “Even with people, you’re extremely private.” (11:41)

• On modern relationship surveillance:

  • Kendahl: “AirTags in everything, your child’s diaper—it’s all freaking weird to me.” (32:08)

• On sharing online:

  • Jordan: “Sometimes people will be like, ‘Why don’t they talk about sex more?’ and I’m like, ‘Because that’s private, you pervert. Get your eyes out of our bedroom, Kendall.’” (09:49)

• On shared locations:

  • Jordan: “If you put your kids’ location on, and never look at it except in an emergency, great. Who cares?” (38:23)

• On porn confession:

  • Kendahl: “I sound insane. You get home, and I’m like, ‘I cleaned the dishes, then I reorganized this, then I watched porn, then Angel and I sat on the couch, then we cuddled...’” (41:05)

Episode Flow/Timestamps

• 00:57 – 07:25: Weekend recap, TV recommendations, partnership rituals
• 08:10 – 16:05: What is “private, not secret”? Social and personal boundaries
• 16:05 – 21:19: How privacy impacts advice and social dynamics
• 25:07 – 27:28: Question: Privacy at home & phone calls
• 28:56 – 33:20: Question: Is snooping ever OK?
• 33:20 – 40:29: Location sharing—debate on trust/control
• 40:30 – 44:53: Porn preferences—what’s private and what’s not
• 45:02 – end: Sign-off and teasers

Takeaways

• "Private, not secret" means thoughtfully deciding what parts of your relationship are for just you and your partner, even in a public world.
• Boundaries about privacy look different for every couple; reasons for how and why you keep things to yourselves matter more than official rules.
• Open conversation, trust, and sensitivity to each other’s comfort zones are paramount in both online and offline relationship presentation.
• Advice can and should evolve as relationships mature and partners grow.
• Above all: whether it’s about snooping, location sharing, or sex, be honest with yourself and your partner about what feels safe, respectful, and appropriate for you.