92: My Spouse Is NOT My Best Friend w/ Lily Du

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Happy Wife Happy Life, Episode 92: “My Spouse Is NOT My Best Friend” (w/ Lily Du)

Hosts: Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick
Guest: Lily Du
Date: December 8, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the oft-repeated and much-debated phrase: “My partner is my best friend.” Comedians Kendahl Landreth and Jordan Myrick are joined by their longtime friend, writer/comedian/actor Lily Du, to unravel whether your romantic partner really should be your best friend, and why it might not be the healthiest approach. Candid, confrontational, and hilarious, the conversation examines friendship, boundaries, emotional labor, the differences in how people share with their partners vs. friends, and how conflict plays out in intimate and platonic relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Lily Du Dynamic: Friendship Circles & Shared Relationships

• Lily is Jordan and Kendahl’s best friend, and the hosts openly describe their cross-couple friendships and collective best friend dynamics.
  • Jordan (01:29): “Lily is…our best friend. And it’s normal for people—couples—to collectively have a best friend, I think!”
  • Lily (04:29): “Jordan is my best friend. I’ve known her for like, a decade… And Kendahl is my best friend’s wife that is also my family.”
• The trio explores the blurred lines between couple friends, personal best friends, and chosen family.

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2. The Heart of the Discussion: "My Spouse Is Not My Best Friend"

• Lily’s provocative viewpoint:
  • Lily (06:41): “I wanted to talk about the fact that my husband is not my best friend. Something I’m proud of.”
  • Lily finds it unhealthy for a romantic partner to fulfill the best friend role:
  • Lily (07:08): “I think it’s actually unhealthy for your romantic partner to be your best friend.”
• Kendahl and Jordan both reflect on their own habits—Jordan has several “best friends” and considers deep, diverse friendships essential to emotional well-being.

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3. Different Styles: Sharing, Venting & Friendship 'Roles'

• Discussion on how each host and guest use friendships differently for venting, advice, and support:
  • Lily (09:54): “Try to give my honest take on a situation, even if it’s not the most supportive in the moment. I play devil’s advocate a lot and give advice when sometimes people just want to vent.”
  • Kendahl (11:40): “Sometimes I’ll look over to Jordan’s phone and they’re texting you or Rekha and it’s like nine paragraphs long. I don’t think Jordan’s ever sent me a nine paragraph text in my life.”
  • Jordan (12:00): “I’m on the phone with Lily 22 hours a day.”
• Kendahl notes she’s less of a verbal processor, preferring solo reflection.

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4. Emotional Labor & The Limits of the Partner-as-Best-Friend Model

• Emotional load: Lily and the hosts highlight how expecting a partner to be your everything can be unfair:
  • Lily (10:54): “For every single little vent and everything, it shouldn’t also be on [your partner]. It’s such an emotional load to put on them.”
• Having other people to talk to about the relationship is healthy and gives perspective.

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5. Navigating Conflict and Honesty in Friendships vs. Partnerships

• Lily champions direct confrontation and bringing “conflict” into both friendships and romantic relationships:
  • Lily (25:48): “I think I’m the opposite of conflict avoidant. I’m conflict loving.”
  • Lily (26:36): “With my friend Chris, we’d get into disagreements, and she says it’s deepened our friendship…Some friends never reach true intimacy because they never deal with conflicts.”
  • The group agrees couples arguing is normal; friendships could benefit from more honesty and even “productive” bickering.
• Jordan references a meme contrasting people’s tolerance for partner conflict vs. friend conflict, echoing that friendships deserve the same care and willingness to disagree as romantic relationships (27:05).

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6. Poll Results from the Audience: Is Your Partner Your Best Friend?

• Jordan (29:35): “85% of our followers…said their partner is their best friend. 173 people said no.”
  • All three are surprised by how high that “yes” is.
  • They discuss how relationship length and context might color those answers.
• Kendahl recalls Jordan only called her a “best friend” after years of relationship and engagement (30:07).

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7. Family, Loyalty, & Chosen Bonds

• The hosts get into the difference between friends who become family and the expectations that come with that:
  • Lily (33:31): “To love someone truly is to love them fully: good and bad, warts and all.”
  • Kendahl (34:03): “We still feel like Lily’s our family. We would not be like, she’s got to go. That’s family.”

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8. Q&A Segment: Listener Relationship & Friendship Dilemmas

A. Imbalance in Integrating Partners into Friend Groups ([34:31])

• If your partner never invites you to hang with their friends but you do with yours, that’s “not good.”
  • Lily (34:42): “Don’t invite your romantic partner to all your hangs…Your partner should be friends with your friends, but you should also hang out with your friends sometimes without your partner.”
  • The group agrees that balance and boundaries matter in keeping a healthy dynamic.

B. When Romance Feels Like Friendship ([36:38])

• If things feel “just like friendship,” context matters (duration, intensity, stage of relationship).
  • Jordan (36:58): “As you get older, the commitments you’re making together feel more like a partnership rather than friendship or romance.”
  • Discussion of Esther Perel’s “Mating in Captivity” and injecting novelty/‘danger’ into long-term relationships.

C. Partner Becoming Friends with an Ex They Once Hated ([39:53])

• The trio expresses concern but stresses the need for context and open conversations.
  • Kendahl (41:21): “If [someone’s] still emotionally affecting you after a breakup, you’re not fully broken off.”
  • Ultimately, it comes down to trust and realistic conversations.

D. When One Partner's Friend Feels Threatened by You ([43:19])

• Lily: “Girl, bye!”
  • The group agrees: if feeling “threatened,” check if you’re being reasonable and have an honest chat. If it’s persistent jealousy, that’s a bigger issue.

E. Disliking Your Partner’s Friends ([55:13])

• Lily (55:19): “I tell them.”
  • They stress it’s reasonable to dislike an SO’s friend for substantive or disrespectful behavior, but “annoying” friends might not be worth the drama unless it’s impacting you directly.
  • Kendahl (58:03): “There are people that…are kind of irritating to me, but I don’t think they’re people I’m actually friends with.”
  • If a friend's crossed real lines, then taking sides is appropriate.

F. Should Couples be Friends Before Dating? ([50:22])

• Consensus: Not necessary. Friends-to-lovers is optional, not required.

G. Handling Friends Who Stay Friends with Your Ex ([62:38])

• Nuanced! Depends on the breakup, the “wrong,” and the level of past intimacy—sometimes picking sides is the right call.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On not making your partner your “everything”:
  • Lily (07:08): “I think it’s actually unhealthy for your romantic partner to be your best friend.”
• On confrontation:
  • Lily (26:04): “I’m a conflict cruiser.”
  • Jordan (26:07): “I think it’s nice…because I’m never like, oh, is she harboring feelings that I don’t know about?”
• On chosen family:
  • Jordan (30:59): “Most of the people I grew up with…that we prioritized were people I was not biologically related to. So I think that I still very much have that in my life. You are my family.”
• On loving warts and all:
  • Lily (33:31): “To love someone truly is to love them fully: good and bad, warts and all.”
• On ‘who gets the friends’ after a breakup:
  • Lily (63:02): “Especially if one person is wrong, we pick sides.”
  • Kendahl (63:56): “We could never break up…because there’s a good chance Lily’s gonna agree with me.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:26 – Introduction to Lily & their friendship dynamics
• 06:41 – Lily’s claim: “My spouse is not my best friend”
• 09:54 – How Lily, Jordan, and Kendahl “vent” and process with friends/partners
• 11:40 – Texting styles and emotional communication differences
• 25:48 – On conflict-seeking vs. conflict-avoidance in relationships & friendships
• 29:35 – Audience survey: Do you consider your partner your best friend?
• 34:31 – Listener Q&A: Partner not inviting you to meet their friends
• 36:38 – Listener Q&A: Friendship vs. romance in long-term relationships
• 39:53 – Listener Q&A: SO is now friends with a hated ex
• 43:19 – Listener Q&A: A friend’s partner feels threatened by your friendship
• 55:13 – Listener Q&A: What if you don’t like your partner’s friend?
• 62:38 – Listener Q&A: Friends staying friends with your ex
• 63:56 – Discussion: Post-breakup friend “allegiances” and family-style loyalty

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, playful, and deeply candid. The episode is marked by quick comedic asides, affectionate teasing, and honest confessions about friendship and love. The guests’ personalities shine through—especially Lily’s “pot-stirring” and openness to conflict as healthy.
• Advice is practical, nuanced, and often subverts conventional wisdom about relationships.

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Takeaways

• Treat your friendships as real, deep, and worthy of maintenance and repair, not as “lesser” than romantic partnerships.
• Emotional labor is real: expecting your romantic partner to be your best friend, sole emotional outlet, and life partner might not set the best foundation.
• Conflict, when handled directly and kindly, can actually deepen intimacy—whether with friends or partners.
• Maintain friendships (and boundaries!) outside your relationship, and don’t be afraid to “pick sides” when big values are on the line.

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Listen if…

You’ve ever wondered if your partner should be your best friend, if you crave more depth/honesty in your friendships, or if you want advice on balancing social and romantic lives—all with gallons of laughter and sharp comedic banter.

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[For more, check out Lily Du’s show “Dirty Laundry” on Dropout, and follow the hosts on social media. Full episode and resources can be found on the Happy Wife Happy Life feed.]

Transcript

[Lily]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree. Zoe, this thing weighs a ton.

[Jordan Meyer]

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[Lily]

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[Kendall Landriff]

Santa, did you get my letter?

[Jordan Meyer]

He's talking to you britches.

[Lily]

I'm not. Of course he did.

[Jordan Meyer]

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[Lily]

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[Lily]

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[Lily]

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[Kendall Landriff]

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[Lily]

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[Kendall Landriff]

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[Lily]

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[Jordan Meyer]

Nice. My side of the tree is slipping.

[Kendall Landriff]

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[Lily]

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[Jordan Meyer]

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[Kendall Landriff]

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[Kendall Landriff]

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[Jordan Meyer]

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[Kendall Landriff]

Visit t mobile.com welcome to Happy Wife, Happy Life.

[Jordan Meyer]

We're your hosts.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm Kendall Landriff.

[Jordan Meyer]

And I'm Jordan Meyer.

[Kendall Landriff]

And we are two incredibly unqualified but.

[Jordan Meyer]

Deeply in love comedians who are here to talk to you about all things relationships. And on today's episode, we're talking about partners and friendship with Lily Do.

[Lily]

Wow, it's so scary when you both speak at the same time.

[Jordan Meyer]

Hello, Lily.

[Kendall Landriff]

Hi.

[Jordan Meyer]

Oh, well, if you don't know us personally, you might not know this, but Lily is obviously a very successful writer, comedian, actor. But she also happens to be our best friend. And it's normal to.

[Lily]

For people. Couples to collectively have a best friend, I think.

[Jordan Meyer]

So I would say all of our best friends are best friends. With both of us, we have a.

[Kendall Landriff]

Lot of collective best friends. Yeah. I would say that's strange.

[Jordan Meyer]

And I would say your husband feels like a part of my family.

[Lily]

Yeah, you guys are my family. Jordan did officiate my wedding.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yes.

[Lily]

And I'm not officiating your wedding.

[Jordan Meyer]

Well, we're not having an officiate because we're not having a wedding.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sorry.

[Lily]

Weird.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sorry.

[Lily]

But it did warn me before I came on. What did you tell me? Tell them what you told me.

[Jordan Meyer]

So if this Is your first time experiencing Lily, you might be like, that's crazy. If you know anything about Lily, this will make sense to you. Lily is a pot stir. She's extremely opinionated, and she's really, like, set in her ways. So I was like, please don't antagonize us too much.

[Lily]

You make me sound like the world's worst person.

[Kendall Landriff]

No.

[Lily]

How do you make the soup good if you don't stir that pot?

[Jordan Meyer]

You're an incredible person, but you are. And you're also very, like, confrontational. You're very argumentative. All things that I love.

[Lily]

This in the issue that I brought to the table, of course, today. But I think conflict. Good.

[Jordan Meyer]

No, you're agree with that.

[Kendall Landriff]

I agree. But you're more comfortable, like, bringing, like, if I see two couples doing something. If I see a couple doing something that I'm like, oh, I wouldn't do that. I, like, don't think to say it. But, like, when we were, like, in Japan, for example, do you remember what I'm talking about?

[Jordan Meyer]

I don't remember what she said. I don't remember what she said.

[Kendall Landriff]

I forgot what it was. But you'll just say something like, kendall.

[Jordan Meyer]

Do you feel like the way you.

[Kendall Landriff]

And Jordan do finances is weird? Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

Like, she's very just like.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you're like, I don't know. And then all of a sudden, you're.

[Lily]

Like, doing a thing. And I. I think it's weird. I don't know. It's called being Chinese.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sure.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

People come for me for it. They're actually. They're not being. Accepting of my Chinese culture. Being ch. Is like, I show up to my family's Thanksgiving, Some other girl's mom, who I haven't seen in, like, two years, opens the door, and she goes, what's wrong with your nose? And I go, I've got a pimple. And she goes, you're not taking care of yourself. That's hello, baby.

[Jordan Meyer]

And I accept that. And I do. I do let you do that to me. Every single day. I've let your mother do that to me. So I think I'm very respectful of Chinese culture. But on the podcast, I had to be like, hey, we're all on the same team. Let's be cool. Yeah.

[Lily]

You don't want the audience to take sides against one or the other.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yes. And I don't want the audience because you're once again my best friend. Yeah. And you are part of my life. I don't. Everyone.

[Lily]

Because I do take sides. I'm team Kendall.

[Jordan Meyer]

Thank you so much. Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, that's what we can't say is, like, if it. This is the problem, truly.

[Jordan Meyer]

Emily knows is Lily and I are.

[Kendall Landriff]

On the same wavelength.

[Jordan Meyer]

I know about everything.

[Kendall Landriff]

We're ADHD girlies, and we're really similar. So what it would become is us being like. It would be us. It would be us against the world.

[Lily]

And Jordan is. I know we're, like, talking about as a couple, but Jordan is my best friend. I've known her for, like, a decade. We toured together.

And Kendall is my best friend's wife that is also my family.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

And I'm team Kendall.

[Jordan Meyer]

Listen, and I can't say anything about it because your husband and I were teaming up on you yesterday.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, because if Lily were to, like, disagree with me on something, Ben could so easily be like, Lily, you do that exact same thing. That's why we have to back each other up, because there's nothing. Anything that annoys you about me annoys Ben about Lily.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Lily]

I would actually. I think annoys my husband so much more. I think Jordan is actually very accepting of ADHD traits. We'll be talking. My eyes will fully leave my glance. We'll just. Honestly, in such a subtle way that we'll be talking, my eyes will just slowly drift to the side, and she goes, where did you go?

[Kendall Landriff]

Where did you go?

[Jordan Meyer]

Hey, come on. Bring it back. You got to check in with your girls.

[Lily]

The other day, I was talking about, like, the clips I'd seen of Zoaran Maudani on the Adam Friedland show and how good they looked, and. And then we started talking about it, and I just started thinking about Zo Ron's smile, and it made me smile to myself, and I was just like this. And he was like, what are you smiling about? I knew I was no longer listening to him, and I was thinking about something else, and I was like, oh, what? I can't have a smile because I'm thinking of Zoron's megawatt smile.

[Kendall Landriff]

And at least on the same topic.

[Lily]

Yeah. He was talking about some other thing about it at that point, and I was not. I was just thinking about him smiling.

[Jordan Meyer]

That's beautiful.

[Kendall Landriff]

We had some party at our house so long ago, and I'll never forget this. Lily and I had been talking, like, the whole night, and I thought. I was like, what a great conversation. And then you left, and someone was like, I had to step away because your guys's conversation made no sense.

[Jordan Meyer]

Like, it was unintelligible, because I guess.

[Kendall Landriff]

We were just like, Going from topic to topic in a way that, like, I would be like, you know, and you'd be like, ah, yes. But can I tell you this other. Oh, I need to send you a link to this band.

[Lily]

We never.

[Kendall Landriff]

You know what I mean?

[Lily]

We never finish a topic, and it. But then you can go back to a topic eight topics later, like, you're still on the same page.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, I do have to address that. When I asked Lily what topic she wanted to cover on the podcast, she said that she wanted to talk about the fact that her husband is not her best friend. Something that she is proud of.

[Lily]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kendall Landriff]

I love that.

[Jordan Meyer]

Say more about your feelings around that.

[Lily]

I don't think it's also such a cliche when people are like, my partner and my best friend.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Lily]

But I'm like, you need more friends than.

[Jordan Meyer]

I understand.

[Lily]

I think it's actually unhealthy for your romantic partner to be your best friend.

[Kendall Landriff]

So you not only think that's what your relationship is. You think it's. It's bad.

[Lily]

I not only think what I have is good. I think what other people have is that. And that's kind of the extremes of what Jordan's talking about, how my opinions are.

[Kendall Landriff]

What if it's like, one. Because I. I mean, and you know this, Jordan, you have so many close friends.

[Jordan Meyer]

I do have a lot of close friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

So if you were to be like, kendall's not my best friend, I would be like, what?

[Jordan Meyer]

That's.

[Lily]

Well, that's why.

[Jordan Meyer]

That.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because I.

[Lily]

Because Jordan has, like, seven best friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes.

[Jordan Meyer]

I have three best friends. You, Colin, and Reika. Okay. I have lots of other. Really? And I want to address that. I have lots of other very close friends. I have a lot of very dear friends. I'll be like, these people are some of my best friends. Like, I have so good friends that I love. And also, like, being a good friend and having good friends is something that's very important to me, which is also something that's important to you.

[Lily]

I will say the term best friend is not one that I use. Since I was a kid, Jordan was the first person in my adult life to be like, you're my best friend. Like, you said it to me. And I was like, okay. And then I was like, okay, Jordan's my best friend. But then she goes around town, and she's like, colin, my best friend. I'm like, huh?

[Jordan Meyer]

Because you have to have, like, friends from, like, different parts of your life. And Colin and I met the first day of college, and then I Met you and Reika in my adult life.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

But it's like the three of you are my best friends, and I love you all very dearly, and I come to you with everything and, like, include you in everything in my life and.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I think it is different because you come to Lily and Rekha and Colin for things you don't tell me about.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Kendall Landriff]

Like, I feel like not. Because it's, like, a secret for me, but you'll call them before you've told me about it. Really?

[Lily]

Well, you're talking.

[Kendall Landriff]

We do talk a lot.

[Jordan Meyer]

Kendall is.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm, like, usually, like, taking a bath or I don't eat.

[Jordan Meyer]

Less of a talker. Kendall's taking a bath lot, so I can't ask her about stuff. She's also. I don't want to say you're a yes man, but I think that you're very inclined to be. Yeah, but I hate you.

[Kendall Landriff]

You're a bitch.

[Jordan Meyer]

No, I think you're very inclined to be positive, which I am, too. I think there's nothing wrong with that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sorry. If you're listening, L is pantomiming, stirring, and sniffing a bowl of a big pot of soup.

[Jordan Meyer]

And did you like it?

[Lily]

It needs more season.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

Lily is. The thing about Lily is it's no nonsense. It's 100% truth. It is right a lot of the time. It's not always right, but it is right a lot of the time. Lily thinks a lot about things and puts a lot of thought into things before she says them. And she does have very hard opinions, but I think that can be helpful a lot.

[Lily]

Try to give my hon honest take on a situation, even if it is not the most supportive in the moment. I think there are a lot of things I do in conversations that are incredibly unhelpful, which is I play devil's advocate a lot, and I give advice and I try to fix things without necessarily asking the person if that is what they want in the moment. I know sometimes people just want to vent and they don't want advice or a solution. And actually, it's kind. It's something you should check. I've heard. I've read that you should check in with them if they would like advice in the situation. I have not been able to enact that practice yet.

[Jordan Meyer]

But you learned about it.

[Lily]

I'd like to. I've heard of it, and it sounds good.

[Jordan Meyer]

I think you and I are both very solution oriented because that's something that Kendall's gotten frustrated with me about in the past. And I think that you're more of a venter. I think Rekha is more of a venter. And Colin plays his cards close to his chest. He doesn't. I don't know, he doesn't have stuff like that.

[Lily]

I just think first off, like, obviously you're going to talk to your partner a lot about things and you have to live your life together, your home, your finances. So then for like every single little vent and everything, it shouldn't also be on them. It's like such an emotional load to put on them.

[Kendall Landriff]

I actually agree.

[Lily]

And also it's like, like you're gonna have complaints about your partner, of course, when you have like a life fully enmeshed in with them. And so it's good to have other people to talk to about and.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because then it becomes just like a sounding board. Like it almost. It's like if you don't talk to other people, but when you're with your partner so much, it's like if you're not getting outside perspectives, your brain can really warp.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yes.

[Kendall Landriff]

Be like, oh, everybody thinks that, but really it's just you. Also, I think too, like, sometimes I'll look over to Jordan's phone and they're texting you or Rekha and it's like nine paragraph song. I don't think Jordan's ever sent me a nine paragraph text in my life.

[Jordan Meyer]

Really?

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm not on text.

[Jordan Meyer]

We text very much.

[Kendall Landriff]

We're not text because we live together.

[Lily]

I'm with you. You're always texting Kendall a little thing.

[Jordan Meyer]

That's not true. Sometimes when I'm with you, I will send Kendall a thing that'll be like, I'll be home at 9. Or like, this is what we're having for dinner. I'm on the phone with Lily 22 hours a day.

[Kendall Landriff]

You've never sent me up. I mean, a paragraph. I would even say one paragraph. No, we don't.

[Lily]

You don't send me those anymore because I use a dumb phone now. That's.

[Kendall Landriff]

We actually need to talk about that. We need to talk about it separately's. Gotten some weird.

[Jordan Meyer]

Well, he got a light phone. And it's another thing that's unintelligible all of her texts now I can't understand them. There's so many typos. She never responds.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I certainly should get one.

[Lily]

You should.

Not to cause strife. But Jordan won't show me their screen time on their phone because it's so high.

[Jordan Meyer]

Why? It's not even about that. Why does Lily need to See my screen time. She's like a fun party thing. It's like, you do not make it fun.

[Lily]

Everyone's around the table. Everyone show each other your screen time so you can be reminded how addicted to your phone you are.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's not fun. It's a lesson. And who's doing it the best. Lily's doing it the best, and she wants to talk about it.

[Lily]

She's doing it. I'm always doing it the best. Sometimes I've really gotten better I than mine.

[Kendall Landriff]

I bet it. Oh, wait, no. Actually, no.

[Lily]

You don't know my phone time anymore because of the light phone. But it used to be, like, sometimes, like, six hours a day if I was having a bad day.

[Kendall Landriff]

But Lily and I think the same things are fun, too, because remember that one time she was like, we should all go around and share our.

[Jordan Meyer]

Our search histories.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I thought that was so funny.

[Jordan Meyer]

Kendall's first search was, what is Harry Potter's accent?

And we were like.

[Lily]

Jordan, you were out of town.

[Jordan Meyer]

I had to Google it.

[Lily]

I needed to know. We're like, what do you mean?

[Jordan Meyer]

It's so obviously one thing. I don't know.

[Lily]

British. Give him what part?

[Jordan Meyer]

I was like, what part is British?

[Lily]

Rp. It is not cockney. Oi.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. On Harry Potter.

[Lily]

On Harry Potter.

[Jordan Meyer]

That's how I hear it. Oh, my God. Wait, what was I. Oh, we've never.

[Kendall Landriff]

Texted, like, paragraphs, though. See, I came back to it. Never texted paragraphs, because to me, we see each other so much and we're always together that if Jordan texted me, like, nine paragraphs while I was at work, I would be like a kind of. I mean, if there was an emergency, of course they could do it. But I don't know what emergency I would be. But if they were just sending me, like, rants, I would kind of be like, I'm working. Like, I already am going to see you tonight.

[Lily]

Not nine paragraphs, because it's like our bathroom is flooding.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

The house is on fire. Short Emergency is short.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. What do you have to say?

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Nine paragraphs is like. Okay, let me break this down. This really annoying thing happened at work. There's this person, and you know, they're related to this. That is nine paragraphs.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. And I've been thinking about it, actually, and I know we've touched on this before. Like, that is what it is. And sometimes you and your gals just got to beat a dead horse.

[Lily]

Not important. And you actually don't need to tell your partner about that, because there's so much other stuff you guys have to talk about that. That's for friends.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. And it's like. It's nice, maybe, like, well, we're really.

[Kendall Landriff]

Not each other's best friends.

[Jordan Meyer]

No. I hate you.

[Lily]

Do you have best friends separately?

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, I do. But I also think I. It is different for me. I think I'm. I am just. I think the thing I do struggle with in a relationship is that I just. My social battery is so low in general that, like, when we spend, like. Because even when I live with anyone, my social battery, like, my best friend Nicole and I used to live together, and I saw less friends because I'm like, well, I'm always with her. So my social battery is already lessened. The thought of, like, going out and doing stuff. So I struggle a little bit in relationships because the time I'm with Jordan, I don't necessarily. I don't feel like my social battery is lessening. But we hang out a lot together. So really, I think it's more like there's less time for my independent activities, which I very much value, like reading or whatever, where I want to spend time by myself.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then because we spend time together, I just have less time with friends, I would say.

[Jordan Meyer]

But we also still spent a lot of time with friends. I think that's something like. Especially in this industry, like, we're doing something.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, that's what my therapist.

[Jordan Meyer]

Four nights a week. It's like kind of work, but kind.

[Kendall Landriff]

Of hang out people. And I asked, like, my therapist, I was like. Because I was something I struggled with. I was like, I feel like I just have such a low social battery. And they're like, well, how many times, like a month do you see people? And I was like, I don't know, like 20. And they're like, so much crazy.

[Lily]

More. It's not crazy. It used to be normal. But that's so much more than people these days.

[Kendall Landriff]

The average person, I was like, that. That's not someone who. She's like, People tell me that. And then I ask them that, and they say like, once a month or something, or even less than that. And I'm like, oh, I. But I think sometimes I feel like I'm not. Because of the industry we're in, drained.

[Lily]

After seeing a person once a month.

[Kendall Landriff]

But that's something. They struggle.

[Jordan Meyer]

Change the medication.

[Kendall Landriff]

She was like, you don't need to be stressed that you're becoming.

She was like, you don't need to be stressed. You're seeing 20 people a month and feel drained. But I think it's hard because in our industry, it's less. Like, I have my three friends and I see them. Yeah, A bunch of. It feels like I'm seeing like a million people, like, ever so often. Which makes me then sometimes be like, oh, I don't see. Do you know what I mean?

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

You have like a lot of, like, loose ties.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes, but I'm also not a verbal processor. Is that what they say? Like, I feel like Jordan, and maybe you're this way, but I'm not fully sure. Like, if you are having a problem or a stressor or anything, you have to talk it out loud. I do not do that. Like, I don't. How usually.

[Lily]

How do you.

[Kendall Landriff]

I just think about it. I just like, in my head, like, think about it. Like, I would never, like, call, like, my best friend Nicole. I don't call and go, like, here's what happened. I mean, I don't know, maybe that's not good. I don't know. But I just.

[Jordan Meyer]

Her brain's different than ours all the time.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'll tell Jordan, like, Or like, I don't know, you'll come and you're like, have you been crying? And I'll be like, oh, yeah, I was upset about this thing I was thinking about. And you're like, why didn't you tell me? And I'm like, I just don't think to tell. I don't know. I just like, deal with it on my own. And then I like, swallow it and then I move on.

[Lily]

I want to talk.

[Jordan Meyer]

You gotta talk it out.

[Lily]

I want to talk to my closest and I want to talk to acquaintances. I want everyone's opinion.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

I want a town square.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, my ding, ding, ding. Yeah, let's. Come on, I'm the town crier. Let's get everyone together. We gotta chat. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?

[Lily]

Great.

[Jordan Meyer]

But like, if not friends. If not friends, then what? Enemies?

[Lily]

They're my life partner.

[Jordan Meyer]

I love that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

They're the father of my child.

[Jordan Meyer]

Damn.

[Lily]

We also have. We're both like deeply unbusy people. And like, we.

We have really long conversations about, like.

Ideas, politics, movies. Like, we really.

Talk about other things more than we talk. Talk about ourselves.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Lily]

I talk to you probably more about, like, myself and my issues, but I also, like, we're just like in the act of. We have a toddler.

[Kendall Landriff]

You're doing things.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

We parent a child together all day long and, like, make decisions in that way.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

And he's not always giving advice. You Want to hear?

[Lily]

No. His advice is bad and annoying.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. You hate when he.

[Kendall Landriff]

One thing I found truly I. Admirable in a lot of ways. Like, you and him will argue in front of us. Like, fully have an argument in front of us.

[Jordan Meyer]

And Lily, turn around and go, who do you think is right?

[Kendall Landriff]

Who do you think is right?

[Jordan Meyer]

Who do you think is right? Look at us right now and tell us who you think is right.

[Lily]

Well, because sometimes.

We'Re not in couples right now.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Lily]

Because actually, I made us go to couples before we got married. And then, like, after, like, three months, we just, like, ran out of issues to talk about. And fully, we were like, okay, I guess everything's fixed.

[Jordan Meyer]

We did it.

[Lily]

And then we moved into a home which is next door to our couples therapist by accident. And so now we can't go back to her.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Lily]

Even though I liked her a lot.

But I. Sometimes I want an external opinion because I'm like, no, you are so caught up in your way of thinking. And I'm telling you I'm right. And so to just argue in front of someone is to have an audience. I think that's crazy.

[Kendall Landriff]

You need to go on the Maury show.

[Jordan Meyer]

You love uniform.

[Lily]

Specifically, what you guys are talking about. You're talking about at his birthday trip on the last day when we were the last ones there. And I was like. We were talking. We were disagreeing about a person we both know. And I was like, come on, you guys get in this.

[Jordan Meyer]

But you were arguing yesterday about the thermometer.

[Lily]

It was too cold. It was too cold in the house. And I was. I also. But I found out later why it felt so cold. I had a 101 degree fever.

[Jordan Meyer]

And the truth comes out.

[Lily]

But he only wanted to turn up the thermostat one degree at a time and wait an hour to see where it felt like, where it landed, how it felt, and then turn it up another degree.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I was like, your house is very hot.

[Jordan Meyer]

No, she wanted to make it hotter.

[Lily]

67 degrees. It was 67 degrees. It's hot because Jordan's always hot. It's not, actually.

[Kendall Landriff]

Why am I hot then?

[Jordan Meyer]

Why is she hot? Just because I'm hot.

[Lily]

You're running hot, too.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's hot in your house.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, you're a little hot.

[Lily]

It was 67 degrees.

[Jordan Meyer]

You have bad circulation.

[Lily]

Cold. I'm bad circulation either way. But I was sh.

[Jordan Meyer]

I was.

[Kendall Landriff]

What?

[Jordan Meyer]

It seemed like you had a thought in the middle of that.

[Lily]

Yes.

[Jordan Meyer]

You went, I wish. I wish, like, you had some kind of vision into the future. What was it?

[Lily]

I thought I heard my phone ring.

[Kendall Landriff]

Raven David Simone, vision.

[Lily]

I heard. I heard it ringing in my ear. Maybe tinnitus. And I thought it was my phone ringing. And I said, oh, no, did I not turn off the ring? Stop, ringer, Stop.

[Jordan Meyer]

Dead in your tracks. Okay, back to reenacting it. You were shivering. She's shivering.

[Lily]

I was shivering because I was so cold. And I was like, I know that one degree is not gonna make the difference. So I turned it up.

[Kendall Landriff]

Two.

[Jordan Meyer]

You needed medicine.

[Lily]

Ultimately, I needed two degrees. Yeah. Is what I needed. But.

Well, okay, that's the thing. So I was thinking about this beforehand. We all, like, argue with our romantic partner, right?

[Jordan Meyer]

We all do. Yes. We get a lot of comments with people being like, that's crazy that you guys argue. It's not normal to argue. And we very are, but we are very staunchly against it.

[Kendall Landriff]

Our theory is that they think argument. They think us, like, screaming. Being like, I'm gonna stay in a hotel.

[Lily]

Fight is an argument, right? I. We. Ben and I rarely have fights. And I was even thinking about that when someone was, like, in a newer relationship. I think newer relationships can have fights sometimes. Like, and I was like, oh, it's been ages since I've had, like, an argument with Ben where I'm, like, so mad. I wish they would die and I would be. My brain gets so dark when I'm so mad. But we just have, like, we bicker. We, like, argue because you disagree about things. And I think that's, like, good and productive. But what I think is missing in a lot of people's friendships is that level of honesty. I think a lot of people never get into arguments with their friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

Today's episode is sponsored by aura frames. Want to give a personal gift this year? Check out aura Frames. Aura frames are the digital picture frame. Upload unlimited number of photos and videos with your phone. With Aura, you can share memories and special moments in an instant. It's a great gift for every family member. I know for me, it's always so hard to pick what pictures to put in a frame. And then by the time I get around to framing photos, I have new photos that I want to put in those frames. And so now I feel like I have solved it by having the aura frame that I can just always upload new photos into. Aura even lets you preload the frame with photos before it ships. Mom and dad won't need to be tech savvy. They just need to plug it in for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off or as best selling Carver mat frame named number one by wirecutter by using promo code Happy Wife at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code Happy Wife. This deal is exclusive to Happy Wife, Happy Life fans and Aura Frames. Sell out fast. Order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning Happy Wife Happy Life at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Today's episode is sponsored by Good Wipes. It is the holiday season, which means tons of people coming over to your house, eating food, laughing, and also using your bathroom. And I know that when my guests go into my bathroom, I want them to have the best experience possible. And that's why I always make sure I'm stocked up on Good Wipes. Good Wipes are flushable plant based wipes for the bathroom. They are 40% bigger and stronger than your average wipes. Soft, soothing and safe for sensitive skin. Good Wipes leaves you feeling clean, not dry or scratchy like toilet paper. If you ever come into our home and use Jordan and I's bathroom, which unfortunately I think most of you probably won't, but if you did, you would find Good Wipes because we truly love them. Use them every single day. Good Wipes breaks down easily. No harsh chemicals, parabens or dyes. Want to try a free pack of Good Wipes? Good Wipes is giving away free wipes. Just buy a pack at your local store, then head to goodwipes.com wife, text them your receipt and get reimbursed. Again, that's goodwipes.com wife to get your free wipes. Good wipes because butts deserve better. You two inspire me because you do argue and I find that I've never had that with a friend and I find you do. No.

[Lily]

Oh, so you don't argue with friends?

[Kendall Landriff]

No, I and but it inspires me. I wish I did, but I have a bad I'm trying to do better, but I do have a bad habit of like, I wouldn't say it's a habit, but it's happened a couple times of like keeping feelings pent up for a really long time and then being like I can't do this anymore and then ending a friendship.

[Lily]

Look, I don't think I'm the norm. I think I'm like, I'm the opposite of conflict avoidant. I'm conflict loving.

[Kendall Landriff]

You're looking for it.

[Jordan Meyer]

She's cruising around town trying to find.

[Lily]

Yeah, I'M a conflict cruiser.

[Kendall Landriff]

But it's a good book title.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

About conflict.

[Jordan Meyer]

But I think it's nice, you know, because I'm never like, oh, is she harboring feelings that I don't know about? If she's upset, we'll have a conversation about it. Yes.

[Lily]

And also it's like, well, partly I'm like a conflict seeker because I grew up, my dad was working out of the country and it was just me and my mom, and my mom is a nag and anxious and crazy. And so every single day of my life growing up was an argument at the dinner table, which is crazy.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Lily]

But I have one of my closest friends, Chris, in New York. We would, like, get into disagreements, and she says that has been so healthy and it's really deepened our friendship to the point that she has other close friends from previous parts in her life that never got to a true level of intimacy because they had some unresolved issues at one point that they never dealt with.

[Kendall Landriff]

Right.

[Jordan Meyer]

Well, there's actually a meme type tick tock going around right now where people talk about, like, why is it that my best friend's boyfriend can cheat on her a hundred times and she still gives him another chance, but we have a disagreement one time about one thing and we're no longer friends anymore. And I think that's very real. I think a lot of people are willing to have disagreements or arguments or tension or whatever with a romantic partner, even if the romantic partner is like someone you're dating casually or you haven't known that long or like, whatever. And I think people are very quick to drop friends because they don't see having conflict with a friend as being, like, appropriate, I guess.

[Lily]

But I think that's because, like, with a romantic partner, they're maybe like, they're trying to have, like, longevity, a future, a life with them. But I'm like, with a friend. I'm not trying to have, like a fair weather friend who I'm like, friends for. With for like a few months. I'm trying to have a lifelong relationship.

[Jordan Meyer]

I agree.

[Lily]

They're like family, like, with family. Sometimes, like, you just, like, you bicker with them and you disagree and you, like, find common ground because, like, you have a life together.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I think a lot of people don't with family, like, I think a lot of people don't do that with family.

[Lily]

Bicker.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, I think a lot of people just, like, a lot of people are keeping things inside. Like, a lot inside. And then I think, like, culture is so scary.

[Lily]

Like WASP culture.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's WASP culture because it's not all white culture.

[Lily]

No, wasp.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. Cuz it's like very specific. It's very strange.

[Kendall Landriff]

People keep it really in. And then I think the only difference with like partners is like, well, I can only have. Unless I'm not monogamous. I can only have one partner.

[Jordan Meyer]

So that partner has to be really good.

[Kendall Landriff]

They have to be really good. So then with friends you're like, well, it's so easy to go, well, I can have a million friends, so why would I?

[Lily]

That's why people, people are non monogamous now because they're partners. Their best friend. And they need more friends.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, they need more friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Maybe more friends. Yes. I got to get more boyfriends.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. Hey, do a study on it. Let's get into some questions from the audience. We asked them to drop questions about partners and friendship. So let's get into it. Our first.

[Lily]

How many questions did you get?

[Jordan Meyer]

A bunch.

[Kendall Landriff]

But we're not going to answer all of them.

[Jordan Meyer]

We're not going to answer all of them.

[Lily]

Like top, top 10amount of questions received.

[Jordan Meyer]

You, you did the best at getting questions for anything. She's got to be the best.

[Lily]

Like E or a top three. I love like a little, just like a conversation starter, a little stat, a little fact.

[Kendall Landriff]

You were the number one.

[Lily]

Do you want this or that? Do you want this? Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

Well, I'll start us off with a fact.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay.

[Jordan Meyer]

First and foremost is that we asked our audience members if they were best friends with their partner. And I'll hit you with the numbers. 85% of our followers, over a thousand people said that their partner is their best friend. You thought it was the other way, said no.

[Lily]

I didn't know it would be so high.

[Jordan Meyer]

173 people said no.

[Lily]

Okay.

[Jordan Meyer]

And they were all Chinese.

[Lily]

Let me see the username.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, they're all Chinese. Yeah.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I will say what's crazy about that is you don't know how long those people have been together. Because I will say for the first three years of our relationship, Jordan said to me, honestly, too many times, I love you so much. I don't love you as much as I love Colin. I don't love you as much as I. Lily will always come before Reika will always come, you know, and it wasn't until, like we got engaged that Jordan was like, you're also one of my best friends.

[Lily]

Who are you telling?

[Kendall Landriff]

It was.

[Jordan Meyer]

I wanted her to know what was up.

[Kendall Landriff]

Unprompted.

[Jordan Meyer]

I need my girls. Roll Deep. And you will never come between that, because I do. Really. See, I completely agree with you. And I think that's one thing that connects us so heavily. In addition to a lot of other things, I see a friendship. Because my. My immediate family, me and my parents, don't have the best relationship with all of our biological family.

[Lily]

But you're very close to your parents.

[Jordan Meyer]

But I'm very close to my parents. But. But most of the people that grew up in my life, my aunts and uncles, I am not biologically related to.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

So I grew up in a family. I grew up thinking I was Guatemalan. It is true. My Aunt Lizette and all my cousins and a lot of my family is from Guatemala. Until I was, like, 13, someone told me, why is all your family Hispanic and you're white? And I said, I'm not white. What are you talking about? I'm from Guatemala. What do you mean? And they had to go home to my mom and be like, are we not Guatemalan? And my mom was like, no, we are not related to your Aunt Lizette and the rest of your family. Those are just people that are like our family, but we're not biologically related to them. But I think because I grew up around so much of that, like my Uncle Robert, my Aunt Lizette, my cousin Sarah and Alyssa, like, all of my family that I grew up spending all my time with feeling like my family that we prioritized were people that I was not biologically related to. So I think that I still very much have that in my life. You are my family. Your husband, like, I mean, I've. I've been friends with your husband longer than I've been friends with you, but once you guys got married, he became much more ingratiated, like, into my family. Your child is our nephew. Like, it's. It's very real to me. And I think not everybody feels that way.

[Lily]

I love that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Jordan does a thing where she, like, puts the label on it. I go, I guess it's true. She's like my nephew, my best friend.

[Jordan Meyer]

I go, okay, what am I supposed to call him?

[Lily]

Your son?

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

And I do.

[Kendall Landriff]

Closer to what I did.

[Jordan Meyer]

And I love him. No, I'm just like, I. Because I think I. It's nice to have a sense of closeness. And I think if you feel those real feelings towards people, you should vocalize it. Because I think a lot of people. Because I even feel like that with Reika. Like, I feel like the first time I told Reika I loved her, she was like, What?

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, I do tell people I love them.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

And I was like, oh, Like, I love you. And she was like, what? Okay. And then I feel like later, she was like, hey, I love you too. Like, I thought about it, and I also love you. But I'm like, I think that's nice. I think we have to be, like, really sharing.

[Lily]

Drawn to emotionally stunted Asian women.

[Jordan Meyer]

They're the hottest.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I am just like, yeah, like, there's a difference when someone moves over into family territory. Because, like, we talk about this too with, like, people we consider family. This is gonna sound bad, but it is actually really sweet. But it's not always like, oh, I love them. Like, if I were to go through, like, okay, people I just consider friends, I'm like, they're so fun. They're so great. Like, here's all these great parts of their personalities. Obviously, anyone who I consider family, at one point, I felt the way. There's. But there's probably a lot of things from like, but they're also so annoying because of xyz. Xyz. But I have to get them a Christmas present because they're my family. You know what I mean?

[Lily]

To love someone truly is to, like, love them fully. Like, good and bad, warts and all. And it's like. Like.

[Kendall Landriff]

Like, if you went off everybody.

[Lily]

Yeah.

Everybody is, like, has negative traits. Like, everybody is annoying in some way. So to, like.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I think a lot of friends that are just like, oh, they're friends. Once I discover all those traits, sometimes I say, actually, maybe not. But I think with family, it's like, if you went off the deep end for, like, four years, more so than you already have. Yeah. I'd still be like, Lily's family. Where would I go?

[Jordan Meyer]

She's already in the Mariana Trench.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. But we still feel like Lily's our family. Like, we would not be like, she's got to go. You know what I mean? And to me, that's family. Because it's like, you know, you have a crazy aunt that you're like, I mean, no, I'm not like, but she's my aunt. What am I supposed to do? That's how it feels like family, where you're like, it's not a choice. It maybe seem like a choice because we're not blood related, but it's not.

[Jordan Meyer]

But it's not. Yeah, I agree. Okay. This person wants to know, what does it mean when you invite your partner to hang out with your friends, but they never invite you to hang out with their friends?

[Lily]

That's bad.

[Jordan Meyer]

I think that's not good.

[Lily]

What? That's really.

[Jordan Meyer]

So you're inviting your wife, I'm inviting you to hang out with me and Lily. You're never inviting me to hang out with you and your friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, do you feel like I do that?

[Jordan Meyer]

No.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay.

[Lily]

But what's bad is I. I will say I, it, it's bad for it to be imbalanced. But one thing is like don't like, don't invite your romantic partner to all your hangs with your friend. That meshing of private and like personal, it's like, like your partner can be friends and should be friends like with your friends. But you also should hang out with your friends sometimes without your partner.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, that's what I was going to say is hard because I think I have a lot more like one on one hangouts with my friends. But because I see my friends le like I feel like you guys hang out so much that like you'll have one on one. Like yesterday, like you guys hung out one on one. And then so then the next time you guys hang out, if I come it's like, oh, that's great and wonderful. But if I'm only seeing my friends way less amount of time, sometimes I'm like, I need to just do one on one because we have to catch up.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

You know what I mean?

[Lily]

Yes, absolutely.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. And her husband was there yesterday.

[Lily]

We definitely have friends where like at every single group hang, their partner is also there. And I'm like, we are doing a table read of our co workers script. Why is your romantic partner here?

[Jordan Meyer]

Why do they even want to be here? Yeah.

[Lily]

And also your dog or like whatever.

[Jordan Meyer]

Don't get us started on the dog. Why is your dog everywhere? Why is your dog everywhere?

[Lily]

But yeah, but it definitely shouldn't be unbalanced. I think a problem with 85 of people said their partner is their best friend. I think something that a lot of people struggle with these days is just having a social life in between just being busy with work and job insecurity and I think just like being afraid to put themselves out there. People being like, how do you even make friends? We got really lucky that in our 20s we found a comedy community that was similar to like being in high school or college or whatever. But I think a lot of people lack that.

[Jordan Meyer]

I agree. Yeah, I agree. This person wants to know, what do you do when things with your partner start to feel more like friendship than romance?

[Lily]

How far in the relationship are they?

[Jordan Meyer]

I don't know. But I think it depends. I think if it's, like, immediate, probably not great. That'd be great, I think.

[Lily]

Immediate.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. I think if it's been for a long time, that's normal. Because I think that, like, there. There should always be something, I guess, that feels more like a couple. But I think as you get older, sometimes that stuff feels more like the choices you're making.

[Lily]

Right.

[Jordan Meyer]

Like, the commitments you're making to each other, the things you're doing together feel more like, oh, this is a partnership rather than a friendship. But you're not always going to feel like, out of 10, romantically.

[Lily]

Yeah. I think that's a very common. Like Esther Perel talks about. Right. Like mating in captivity.

Because there's no more, like, surprise and, like, danger to it.

[Jordan Meyer]

I'm reading it right now for the podcast.

[Lily]

Really?

[Jordan Meyer]

And it is so funny because, first of all, it's all straight, so I'm like, okay. But I'm trying to glean what I can to give advice on the podcast. And so much of her. It's just like when your husband comes home, ignore him, then turn around holding a knife. Like, whatever.

[Lily]

It's just like.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's like you have to. You have to introduce danger back into the relationship. When he tries to say hi to you, run away, hide under the bed, make him pull you out. Like, it's just so, like, it feels very European to me.

[Lily]

I like to try.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah, I like to try it.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's funny because we have one of those beds that, like, pulls up and you put storage underneath it. So I guess I'll just get under that one day and Kendall can come.

[Lily]

Get me out of there. Kendall will, like, lay down on it and you'll sink me.

[Kendall Landriff]

Ye. We do chase each other a lot.

[Jordan Meyer]

We do. We do chase each other around the house. Well, but I think. Sorry.

[Kendall Landriff]

Like, there. I think it's like, though we've had times where I feel like it can get a little, like, Roommate y. And then we will be like, oh, we should do something to make it.

[Lily]

You guys go on a lot of dates.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, we do.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I feel like we actively, like, it could get to that easily and. Or it has been. And then we will, like, acknowledge it and be like, let's go do something. Let's jump out at each other with a knife.

[Jordan Meyer]

Never felt roommatey to me. I can't speak for you, but I.

[Kendall Landriff]

Think it's easy to get into a routine that feel. I guess it's not. Felt like I haven't looked at Jordan. Like, I feel like we're just roommates, but I think it's easy to get when you're so busy into a. Like, we come home from work. We both are working. We work until 10. We lay down in bed, I read, you do something. You watch tv, we don't speak. And then we're like, oh, have we talked?

[Lily]

And like, I think the bedroom is for sex and sleep only. Me, I don't think. Reading. Okay. No laptops, no tv.

[Kendall Landriff]

No tv. We can't do that. We have to have tv.

[Jordan Meyer]

We love tv.

[Lily]

You have to sleep to it. And that's a medical illness.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, that's a medical noise machine. So how is that different?

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, your baby has a noise.

[Kendall Landriff]

Your baby.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, your baby. Why don't you speak up about the truth? Your baby has a noise machine. Baby.

[Kendall Landriff]

What's the difference?

[Lily]

Machine to mimic the shushing sound of being in the womb that they're freshly out of.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's what 30 Rock does.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, 30 Rock is. Yeah.

[Lily]

Oh, so sorry that reminds you of being in your mother's womb.

[Kendall Landriff]

My mom was very funny. Yeah, they had very good banter.

[Jordan Meyer]

This is a juicy one. My boyfriend of four years is now good friends with his ex that he hated three years ago. It makes me nervous. So all of a sudden, this person's boyfriend is good friends with best friends.

[Lily]

They said, also, we didn't solve the previous problem.

[Jordan Meyer]

What was the previous problem?

[Lily]

The friendship romance. We're here to solve the problem.

Stressed out that we didn't fix no problem.

[Kendall Landriff]

Right.

[Lily]

Okay, moving on. Moving on.

[Jordan Meyer]

No, you're right. I think it's good. I think. Yeah, to me it's normal.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

I think we had said, like, if it's really early on, maybe not a good fit.

[Lily]

I'm just. I'm just saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We didn't find a solution.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay.

[Lily]

There. You know, some of these things, it's so vague. It's hard. Like, like, why did they hate their ex? Why are they.

[Kendall Landriff]

More information? Because I do think if you've had enough separation from your ex, especially if you're younger and depending on how long. Because it's like, I have some exes that I dated for six months when I was 19, and I'm like, I do think if I met them now, we could be friends. Even if in the moment I was like, I'm in love with them. It's like, we're so different. I am not at all thinking about you in that capacity. I feel like that was a million years ago. I feel like that feels different.

[Lily]

Obviously there was something that you liked about them. To date them in the first place, but then hating them after, I feel like is a good sign that there's some deep incompatibility there.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh.

[Jordan Meyer]

See, I also feel like it's an indicator of big feelings, which for me personally, I don't want you to have big feelings towards your ex. Even if they're hate. I don't want you to have big feelings towards your ex.

[Lily]

Yes. Something that my therapist told me that was like really helpful to help me like mute an ex or whatever is like if they are still emotionally affecting you after a breakup, they are still like affecting you and you haven't been you or you're not fully broken off.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yes.

[Lily]

In the way that a breakup should be.

[Jordan Meyer]

I agree with that. So. But I think it's weird that this person, it's like hated them for three years now. They're good friends.

[Kendall Landriff]

Did they say good friends or best friends?

[Jordan Meyer]

Good friends.

[Lily]

Good friends.

I think they have to, to they have to have a conversation with their partner about it.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because also how long were they together? Did they like date for a little bit or was it like a long term live in boyfriend? I'm.

[Lily]

We're mostly just speculating and guessing.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

I think the honest, like the thing for so many of these is like, have a conversation with your partner and then also talk to your friends about it.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

And you need a friend to have that separate opinion from your partner.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Lily]

Or like also when people feel like stuck in a relationship, I feel like a lot of times it's because they don't have like a social life outside of it. I feel like I've had this issue before where it's like, oh, wow, my whole life is my partner. And it feels so good. I have someone I can. When you first start dating someone, it feels like I have someone I can go to with every single little thought.

[Jordan Meyer]

You're locked in and I.

[Lily]

Maybe if you don't have a lot of friends, you didn't have someone you could feel like that intimacy and closeness with before. But then when things start to go south or whatever, you go, go, who do I. All of a sudden you're like so afraid to not be in that relationship because you're like, who do I have to like share every single thought? I was saying, you gotta find your Jordan.

[Jordan Meyer]

And Amen to that, sister. This person says, how do you become good friends with someone when their partner feels threatened by you?

[Kendall Landriff]

You don't. I don't Know, that's just like. That would be.

I'm just like, there's too much there that's happening. Because that would be like, if I was like, it makes me uncomfortable that Jordan spends a bunch of time with Lily because I feel, like, threatened by either competing or Lily comes first. I don't know. I'm just like that in.

Girl.

[Lily]

Bye.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's what I was told early on.

[Jordan Meyer]

So I respect it.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think there's like, well, first of all, you have to know if you're insane, because it's like, also, I think that's so important.

[Jordan Meyer]

I think almost every question we're like, you kind of gotta do a reality check with yourself and be like. Like, am I someone who is historically, like.

Not handling things well, or am I someone who's, like, very grounded and has done a lot of work in.

[Lily]

Therapy, who historically doesn't handle themselves well? Has an accurate read on that?

[Jordan Meyer]

No, but I think you should try to stop and think about it.

[Lily]

But. Because my instinct is like, question.

[Kendall Landriff]

My instinct is like, the partners being insane. But I will say I've had a friend before where I literally, when we were. We stopped being friends. I said, you and I are not married. Like, you have to understand, like, we are not married. I can't give you a marriage because we're friends. And I think it. So in that specific scenario, I could see you weren't threatened by this person.

[Jordan Meyer]

But you were like, but that person was threatened by me.

[Kendall Landriff]

Right. But I guess that's the opposite of what the question.

[Lily]

Could you give me a marriage?

[Jordan Meyer]

What?

[Lily]

Could you give me a marriage level Friendship?

[Jordan Meyer]

I think I do.

[Lily]

Then why won't you live with me and Lily?

[Jordan Meyer]

Kendall and I to move in with her.

[Kendall Landriff]

And it's more than that.

[Lily]

I want us to get a house together, all of us.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you want me to have a baby with you. Your husband is what?

[Jordan Meyer]

You told me You've offered us his sperm more than once.

[Lily]

You guys have a kid, you should get his sperm, and then we'll all be biologically a family.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

What's wrong with that? Nothing.

[Kendall Landriff]

But that's what you.

[Jordan Meyer]

Nothing but.

[Kendall Landriff]

Don't seem shocked.

[Lily]

I used to say if I died.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yes, you.

[Lily]

This is before you met Kendall, that you gay, should marry my husband.

[Kendall Landriff]

And what would the benefit of that be? Who wins?

[Jordan Meyer]

She said it was coming me together. She said it was because it would keep us. We would both be so sad, and it would keep us both from being so lonely.

[Kendall Landriff]

I have thought about what I would do if you passed away. Where I'd be like, would I spend more time with Colin and, like, Lily and Reika, or would I be like, I can never see any of you again?

[Lily]

You'd spend more time with us. I get married to us.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. Well, I did say the other day.

[Kendall Landriff]

Like, it'd be too sad.

[Jordan Meyer]

I did say that if you died, I would move in with you. Yeah, immediately.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I think if I. I think if you died, I genuinely would have to be dragged out of my home. I think I would be like, I'm never seeing anyone again. Because every person reminds me, you would.

[Jordan Meyer]

Need to go live in a cabin in the woods. Really?

[Kendall Landriff]

I think I would, because I think anything you'd say, I'd be like, oh, I remember when. If. If Jordan was here, that's what you would say.

[Lily]

I'd be so good at fixing your grief.

[Jordan Meyer]

She's incredible.

Grief.

[Kendall Landriff]

You should have a reality show where.

[Jordan Meyer]

You fix people's lives.

[Lily]

Wait, the thing is. Okay, hold on. Let me see the question.

[Jordan Meyer]

I don't know where it went. I already pulled up the next question. What.

[Kendall Landriff]

What do you need to know?

[Lily]

My final thought is that, like, I think I'm like, how important is it that you become friends with it? I'm like, this is the great thing also about having an abundance of close friends. You're like, I don't need a new friend if their partner's being crazy weird about it. But also, is their partner being weird in that case? Like, then that person is in a bad relationship, and they need to deal with that. Or are you guys being weirdly close? Like, the situation someone's being weird?

[Kendall Landriff]

Because also, if Jordan was hanging out with someone who they made me uncomfortable, I would feel really comfortable being like, I don't want you hanging out with them. Really? Because it makes me uncomfortable, because I've never felt that about a singular person.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

So I would be like, I have no problem with jealousy. I don't care who Jordan hangs out with. So if this person made me feel weird, that means there's something weird.

[Lily]

You're in a relationship where you're. Your partner has chronic jealousy. I'm like, right, okay, Then that's the thing that, like, you guys as, like, evolved people need to be, like, dealing with and talking with.

[Kendall Landriff]

Okay, do you get jealous?

[Lily]

Question. I love jealousy.

[Kendall Landriff]

But do you get jealous? You just love when I think you're.

[Jordan Meyer]

Like, I love when other people get jealous.

[Lily]

You know how people like Lily better.

[Jordan Meyer]

Never see a photo of an event that she was not invited to? She. Who's that? What's that? Where were you? What time was it? Where was I?

[Lily]

When Jordan's like, she went to a dinner. I'm like, like, with who? When? Why wasn't I invited? That's how open we are.

But jealous. You know how people these days are all, like, about, like, feeling your sadness and feeling your anger, and they're like, if you're sad, like, you should cry, whatever. And yet there's still emotions that people avoid because they think they're ugly. I'm like, jealousy is just another one of those, like, sadness or anger. I'm like, you feel your jealousy when you feel it so that you can move through it and move past it.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Okay, next question.

[Jordan Meyer]

I agree.

[Kendall Landriff]

You're nailing.

Through these.

[Jordan Meyer]

Is it a red flag if your new partner doesn't want you to meet their friends?

[Lily]

How new?

[Jordan Meyer]

I don't know.

[Lily]

You need to allow.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, but you can also be, like, in this scenario, blah, blah, blah. And in this scenario, blah, blah, blah.

[Lily]

I think if it's, like, really new, like, a one month, I think it's fair to, like, not meet their friends. It's like, because meeting the friends.

[Jordan Meyer]

Friend.

[Lily]

I once, like, hooked up with a guy, and, like, it was, like, in my early 20s. And so it was like, oh, yeah, we'll just go out to a bar to meet my friends. And then he friended every single one of my friends on Facebook. We'd been hooking up for two weeks. I was like, okay, bye, like. And I was like, why did you friend request days of Facebook, like, 15 of my friends?

[Jordan Meyer]

And what was the reason?

[Lily]

Yeah. And he was like, well, because I figure, like, I'm gonna be in your life, so I'm gonna be seeing them. They're gonna be my friends. And I was like, like, bye. This is not that serious. This is not that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

Like, it's too much. So I can see someone, like, not wanting to be, like, yeah, I'm not gonna, like, introduce someone to, like, my friend, have them all meet, and then if I don't know where this is going in two months. Because after one month, like, you don't know.

[Kendall Landriff]

When do you take to a wedding as a plus one?

[Lily]

Whenever you get a plus one. It's just fun. It's fun to bring a date to a plus one.

[Jordan Meyer]

True. Very true.

[Lily]

If the wedding's rich enough to just give you a plus one. Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

Right.

[Lily]

But if they've been dating for so long, like, six months, like, they need to meet your friends, then it's weird. Like, were we immediately the first Time you came to LA from New York. We met, you came over, and we took some headshots for you.

My husband took some headshots.

[Jordan Meyer]

And that's Hollywood, baby.

[Kendall Landriff]

Were you like, this isn't gonna.

[Lily]

No, I loved it.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, incredible.

[Lily]

Why don't you use those photos?

[Kendall Landriff]

I do. They're the first one I literally. Which is actually, I really should do updated ones, but they are the first photo on my. On my actor's access.

[Lily]

That's when I met you.

[Kendall Landriff]

And I haven't been casting a single thing.

[Lily]

Oh, my husband's not a professional.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, the photos are great. I've actually had professional headshots done since then, and sometimes I still go back and I use those ones.

[Lily]

You did a great job.

[Jordan Meyer]

Do you think you should be friends before you officially get together as a couple?

[Kendall Landriff]

No, No.

[Lily]

I think you can be friends and then get together, or you can get to get. The scenarios are just. You don't have to be friends first.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

That's so convoluted.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think people romanticize that a lot.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's very, like. It's like a romance book.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah. Like, I like the idea of, like, dating my energy.

[Lily]

Lovers to lovers. I see you. I'm attracted to you.

[Kendall Landriff]

We like, like what?

[Jordan Meyer]

Lovers to lovers. Kendall, you're big in the genre. Is that a. Is that a trope?

[Kendall Landriff]

I've seen it.

[Jordan Meyer]

Lovers.

[Kendall Landriff]

Abby Jimenez does lovers.

[Jordan Meyer]

Does lovers to lovers.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, the one. The. The book I read of Abby Jimenez was lovers to lovers.

[Jordan Meyer]

I would say, wow.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, they were enemies for one chapter.

[Lily]

And then they were, like, still enemies to lovers. Enemies.

[Kendall Landriff]

But I'm like. I like the thought of being like, oh, what if I, you know, some. I'm like, oh, what if I was like, a firefighter and then there was another firefighter and we were enemies and we hated each other, and then they had to pull me out of a burning building, and then we. We fell in love. But it's like, well, but that's not your reality. Do you know what I mean?

[Lily]

Why would you be a firefighter?

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm just saying I could. I could do this. And, like, if you want to be friends to lovers, it's nice idea, and you can romanticize about it, but then it's kind of like, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. That's not your reality.

[Lily]

Sometimes friends to lovers is the. It's just because of, like, I feel like it happens if you're, like, co workers or a friend group. But, like, why is it such a slow burn? Like, I'm like, well, that's my problem. I like someone.

[Jordan Meyer]

That's my problem.

[Kendall Landriff]

I could never. I. I'm immed. I would like. I meet someone immediately. I'm like, flirting with them.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's because all three of us are, like, relatively intense. And I think that some people just aren't. Hold on. Let me find it. Let me find it, let me find it.

Hold on, hold on. I just had one.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, wow. That's actually very impressively. She's stretching.

[Lily]

You can do that?

[Kendall Landriff]

I don't think I could do that.

[Jordan Meyer]

You can. This is.

[Lily]

You can straight. You're literally doing it. My leg is not that long.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's just straightening your leg.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

Good.

[Lily]

Well, you guys.

[Jordan Meyer]

Okay, you guys. That. While I find the next question. They're spreading their legs apart. I guess go to YouTube to see this. They're spreading their legs apart. Kendall, you're going to break the microphone. Be so careful.

[Lily]

I will say I feel like I can't see myself, but I feel like I look a lot more comfortable doing it than Kendall.

[Jordan Meyer]

I will agree with that.

[Kendall Landriff]

Your legs are shorter, so you can hold on to your foot. I can only get my ankle cuz I'm so tall.

[Lily]

I'm also just more flexible.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, you are. You are. Can you put your head over your foot? Over your head.

[Jordan Meyer]

She's doing it for people who are just listening. Kendall can't. Kendall got really close, but Lily's actually doing it.

[Kendall Landriff]

Wait, I'm kind of doing it right? Am I doing it? Two, two over your head.

[Jordan Meyer]

Don't let her fall forward.

[Lily]

I'm not. Oh, my God.

[Jordan Meyer]

When does your friend become our friend?

Sometimes.

[Lily]

I have no idea.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sometimes?

[Lily]

Never.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, yeah, there's people that for even. I don't know why, because. But there's people where I'm like, I'm friends with them, but I would never refer to them as our friend or my. I'd be like Jordan's friend. This person.

[Lily]

Yeah. I don't know. It just depends. How often do you hang out with them as a couple? That's not.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

I'm like, how much do they really need an answer to that question? They're just asking somebody to ask something.

[Jordan Meyer]

You know what I think it is like a movie.

[Kendall Landriff]

Talk about when you've hung out one on one. Maybe.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, I think that's.

[Kendall Landriff]

That's what it is. Because, like, I.

[Jordan Meyer]

Or if you hang out as couples.

[Lily]

I don't hang out one on one.

[Kendall Landriff]

But we have when we went out to dinner that one time when. Well, it wasn't memorable. I don't. After dirty laundry, we went out to dinner together. We held hands the whole walk to the restaurant.

[Jordan Meyer]

Lily loves to hold hands. But you don't remember this.

[Kendall Landriff]

Where did we were drunk? I don't know. We went to a restaurant next to.

[Jordan Meyer]

The studio, which we won't say, so no one knows where it is.

[Lily]

Yeah, I literally. I love you. I don't remember that.

[Kendall Landriff]

I literally swear to God that.

[Jordan Meyer]

Wow.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, we did that. But also I feel like when you're. Well, maybe this is a bad example, but I feel like when you could leave the room while you're over and we'll just talk. I feel like a lot of times when you're over me and you were talking and Jordan's on there.

[Lily]

Yeah, I would love to get dinner with you more often. I feel like. But so often I'm like, like, well, I have to see Jordan and see. So I can't hang out with Kendall cuz I have to see.

[Jordan Meyer]

Well, and you're also not good at making plans. No, I'm the plan maker in the relationship.

[Kendall Landriff]

Right. Yeah. But like I would say, like with Reika, for example, like, I probably used to refer to Reka as like Jordan's friend Reika. But then after Reika and I hung out one on one, now I of course would be like my friend Reika without me. Yes, we did. I went.

[Jordan Meyer]

Well.

[Kendall Landriff]

And Reika probably remembers it. So maybe that's something to think about. I went over to Reika's house.

[Jordan Meyer]

House.

[Kendall Landriff]

We had dinner, just the two of us.

[Jordan Meyer]

And then she watches movies with you.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then she comes over sometimes. And then also we've had coffee before.

[Lily]

Wait, I'm jealous.

[Jordan Meyer]

You have to feel your feelings. Okay, one last question.

[Kendall Landriff]

We'll go out to dinner. Lily, if you remember it.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, yeah. One last question. How do you deal with it when you don't like some of your partner's friends?

[Lily]

I tell them.

[Jordan Meyer]

And what happens?

[Kendall Landriff]

You fight in front of Jordan again?

[Lily]

No, when you don't like.

[Kendall Landriff]

Harder.

[Lily]

I mean, here's the thing. I don't think.

When you don't like some of your.

[Kendall Landriff]

Partners, are they rude to you?

[Jordan Meyer]

Can I say, I think that if you're a reasonable person, if you don't like one of your partner's friends, you don't like them for a reason. And I think your partner probably shouldn't be friends with them. I'm sorry. That's what I think. I think. And I think you think that too.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because I. I don't. I don't like one of your friends. I don't even think you know who it is. Who? I'm not gonna say it on the podcast.

[Jordan Meyer]

Whisper it to me and Lily.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, because it's too much to explain. But the reason is, they're not even close. You're not even that close.

[Jordan Meyer]

So then they're not my friend.

[Kendall Landriff]

Who is it?

[Jordan Meyer]

Text me. Who is it?

[Lily]

Oh, my God. Wait, whisper it to me, because I.

[Jordan Meyer]

Can'T go through this conversation without knowing who it is.

[Lily]

Okay.

[Kendall Landriff]

It's so stupid. You're gonna be like, that's not even my friend. No, no, let me mouth it. I don't want the audio.

[Lily]

She's so bad at mouthing.

[Jordan Meyer]

Who?

[Lily]

Write it on her computer and show us.

[Jordan Meyer]

Who is it?

She's typing.

Who is that?

[Kendall Landriff]

Who is that?

[Lily]

Okay, so Kendall wrote the name of a girl that Jordan doesn't know.

[Jordan Meyer]

That's not someone I know. Baby, are you sure that's the right place?

[Lily]

She's.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Lily]

She said blank. In Chicago, I don't have any friends.

[Jordan Meyer]

I only. I only have a very small number of friends in Chicago. Okay. I'm familiar. Yes, I'm familiar. Okay. I. That's not a person I'm friends with. That is an acquaintance that I. But also, you don't dislike that person. But this is what I was gonna.

[Kendall Landriff]

Say is that I. You do not have any friends.

[Lily]

I hate.

[Kendall Landriff]

I would never hurt you. But there are people that I'm like. I would not be friends with them. You are friends with them. I would not go out of my way to be friends with this person. And they're kind of irritating to me. But.

[Jordan Meyer]

But I don't think they're people I'm actually friends with. But I think everyone. I'm actually friends with you like? And I think the people that your husband is friends with that you don't like. This is how Lily and I have all of our conversations. We're both pointing at each other. This is exactly how we have all of our conversations. I need to take a picture of this. I think your husband's friends that you don't like. You wish he wasn't friends with. No point.

[Lily]

I genuinely don't. I wish to not spend any of my time with them.

[Jordan Meyer]

I see. Okay.

[Lily]

Because I don't find them enjoyable, but I find that they give a lot to him. Like, for instance, like, on his birthday, a guy, like, brought a thing for him that was, like, really, like, made him feel seen and known. And my husband is, like, bad at, like, so many men, adult men are like socializing one on one with friends. What's the group dynamic of like, being just a pack of guys in your 20s disintegrates. Yeah. And men start to get really lonely and alienated and isolated. He's really bad at reaching out and hanging out one on one and like, having grouping. So, like, I think it's so fruitful and beneficial to him to have this like a person he's been friends with for a long time. And I also, I think, like, the things that people need and have, like, in their friendships, like, are different than what, like, somebody else needs. Everyone has their own individual, like, things that they need filled. And especially, like, if they have long standing relationships. It's like, oh, your partner might have a weird uncle. A weird uncle is a bad example. Your partner might have an annoying mom, but that's still like their family. That's a part of their life.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yes.

[Lily]

This person might have an annoying friend, but that's still their friend they've been friends with for a decade. That's a part of their life.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Lily]

If their friend is like a criminal, I'd be like, well, what if they're rude to you?

[Jordan Meyer]

Well, this is more my thing.

[Kendall Landriff]

I'm affecting you.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yes. I agree with everything you just said.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

But to me, I'm like, I would not, for the most part dislike one of Kendall's friends for being annoying.

[Lily]

Some of your friends.

[Jordan Meyer]

I know.

[Lily]

Your wife.

[Jordan Meyer]

You're my wife. And another friends before, I have disliked one of your friend because I thought her behavior.

[Lily]

Marcelo from Chicago.

[Jordan Meyer]

From Chicago. And that's what I say. It's Marcelo from Chicago. I thought Marcelo from Chicago was not considerate of you. And you expressed many times that you didn't feel like they were kind to you. Yeah. And I also thought they were borderline emotionally abusive to their partner, which I thought was not great. I still never was like, don't be friends with them. Don't whatever.

[Lily]

But.

[Jordan Meyer]

But I feel like if there was someone that I really was like, I. Even that person, I did not like them. I was just like, I actually was.

[Kendall Landriff]

Like, I don't want to be friends with this person.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

Separate from you. So if I'd continued that, you would have been. We would have been friends and you wouldn't have been like, you need to stop hanging out with her.

[Jordan Meyer]

But once again, because I didn't dislike her. I didn't dislike her. I was just like, she seems like she's not a very good friend to you. And once again, as you Were saying, like, I wouldn't necessarily be. Be friends with her, but I think you guys had a. A long standing, like, relationship that did provide you with things, as Lily was saying. So I understood that. But in terms of, like, you having a friend I don't like, I really feel like I would only dislike someone if I felt like they were disrespectful to me.

[Lily]

You. What you're doing is you're putting things on a gradient of, like, a friend of hers annoying you versus, like, dislike. Dislike being, like, a strong condemnation of their character.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because you have friends that annoy me.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure, sure. Lily.

[Kendall Landriff]

No, no.

[Lily]

Because I'm like. But you. I have friends that you think have been standoffish to you.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yes, but I don't necessarily dislike them.

[Lily]

But you do feel like they've been, like, you don't want to personally spend time with them, but that.

[Jordan Meyer]

That's different. Dislike.

[Lily]

You think I shouldn't be friends with them.

[Jordan Meyer]

But that's what I'm saying. To me, it's like, I think just because you're friends with someone that I don't connect with or I don't love the way they behave, I'm not like, you shouldn't be friends with them. But if I actively dislike someone because they wronged me and you continue to be very close with them or you still wanted to be friends with them, I would take a little bit of umbrage with that, and I think both of you would as well.

[Lily]

You dated someone who's wronged me, and.

[Jordan Meyer]

I asked your permission, and you said it was okay. So that, I mean, you can keep it in.

[Lily]

Okay. Keep it.

[Jordan Meyer]

Keep it in. No, I did. I dated someone a long time ago that Lily had had issues with with a long time before that. And I was like, it's been many years. Is this okay? Oh, and Lily. And Lily was like, yes, it's okay. And it was brief, and it didn't end well. So I, you know, I got my just desserts. But you. You. I feel like one time you heard that I talked to someone you had dated, and you were like, no, don't do that.

[Lily]

Yes. Wait. I feel like somebody asked a question that's like, what if your friends is.

[Jordan Meyer]

Like, what if one of your friends wants to keep being friends with your.

[Lily]

Friends with your ex?

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Lily]

I'm like, it really depends on how good your relationship with your ex is if I don't like them. Like, I'm like.

Well, it's like you made your choice of being, like, where it's like, I Don't want to take sides. I'm like.

Pick a side.

[Jordan Meyer]

Especially if one person is wrong, we pick sides.

[Kendall Landriff]

And breakups. I feel like, yeah, as a couple.

[Jordan Meyer]

Wrong.

[Kendall Landriff]

Well, I think there's. Even if someone's not, like, horrible. I feel like when people break up, you and I usually are like. Like, this person was in the right.

[Lily]

I'm like, that person's my enemy. Yeah, pick a side.

[Jordan Meyer]

And you. But that's what I'm saying. So I feel the same way. Like, with. If you had a friend that I felt like had wronged me or had been really rude to me or whatever, I'd be like, pick a side. Once again, that's a friend. That's not someone that I just think, oh, they're a little annoying, or I wouldn't be as close to them as you. That would be someone where I was like, right. You have actively been disrespectful to me. And why would my partner want to be friends with someone who'd been disrespectful to me?

[Kendall Landriff]

We can never break up because.

[Lily]

Cowardly about stuff like that. Because some people are like, I don't want to get involved. I didn't have to pick a side. I just want everyone to like me and get along.

[Jordan Meyer]

Not my partner and not my friends, though. Not my partner. Not my friends.

[Lily]

You can't break up.

[Kendall Landriff]

We could never break up. Because I don't know what you would even do, because there. Obviously, you'd pick Jordan. But there's no world. But I. But. Right. But I think Lily, if we broke up, there's a good chance Lily's gonna agree with me.

[Jordan Meyer]

Sure.

[Kendall Landriff]

And then she's still gonna. It would have to be Lily going, I'm on your side.

[Jordan Meyer]

Stop holding onto the mic.

[Lily]

Does this affect the sound quality? I'm sorry. I mean, how much do you need the sound from the sides? I just wanted people to hear it direct.

It would. I would really need to see a pros and cons list at the end to see, you know, did you guys break up because someone did something bad?

[Jordan Meyer]

Of course. I think that's totally normal. A lot of times someone cheated on me.

[Kendall Landriff]

You still would have to be best friends with Jordan.

[Jordan Meyer]

But I hear you. But she would tell me that I was wrong, she would be unhappy with me, and she would say, I'm still going to be friends with Kendall. And you were wrong for that. But once again, I don't think if I cheated on you, I don't think I would have the right to say, don't speak to Kendall, pick me up.

[Lily]

Also, as the daughter of a cheater and someone who, like, I feel like lately I've been talking to a lot of adults, a lot of adults whose parents have been having affairs. Not just cheating, like, full on affairs. I'm like, it is just as people get it to decades of their relationship, it just gets so complicated. I think it's a very black and white thing when you're young to be, like, cheating bad.

Yeah. Because when you cheat on your, like, high school boyfriend, like, why there's no stakes there. Like, just break up.

But it just. It gets so complicated.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. When you've been together for, like 30.

[Kendall Landriff]

40 years, it's crazy, man. That's what Lily's gonna tell me when you cheat on me.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kendall Landriff]

Look, it gets complicated. I don't know what to tell you. If I walked it on YouTube to what Jordan cheating on with you, I'd be fine.

[Jordan Meyer]

I would not want to be friends with someone that had actually wronged or hurt one of you two. And I think that most people feel.

[Lily]

That same way or hurt. I don't know. I just think it's so easy to wrong and hurt. Toxic podcasts about relationships don't to make make things so black and white. But it's just like, a lot of times things are so much more ambiguous and gray about, like, what does it mean for someone to have, like, wrong.

[Kendall Landriff]

Because what hurts you could not be necessarily objectively bad.

[Jordan Meyer]

You both know what I'm talking about. No, I'm talking to you like I talked to Lily. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is what I'm saying. I think you guys know.

[Kendall Landriff]

Sit.

[Jordan Meyer]

You guys know what I'm talking about. There is, like, certain things where, like, someone has wronged you, and I think you're making a black and white. Because I'm saying it's not just if I found someone annoying or if I just didn't particularly like them. It would be like I would have to actively dislike them because they did something disrespectful.

[Kendall Landriff]

You guys are like, hey, cheating happens.

[Jordan Meyer]

When you're over 40. Well, we love cheating.

[Lily]

People are gonna be so mad at me for saying that, but I'm like, wait until your married parents.

Have affairs and stay together.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah. I just think that I. I don't. I mean, I think that everything is nuanced, but because when you're in high.

[Kendall Landriff]

School, when you're in college, or when you've been with someone three years, most of what you have is, like, the sex and the romance.

[Lily]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

But if you've been together for 30 years and you've raised a bunch of kids together, the sex and the romance is such a small part of what makes your partnership a partnership.

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah.

[Kendall Landriff]

I think it's so wrong.

[Lily]

You also lived so much of your life together. Like, by the time, like a 16 year old has only been alive 16 years. Some people have been in relationships for 50 years.

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

And I also think now we're entering a time where people are starting to be more open about, like, yeah, we've been together for a long time, so now we like, open our relationship up a little bit or like, whatever. And I think, like, previously that hasn't been as widely accepted, so I think cheating was more of a thing. But some people are together and never ever want to be with anyone else. And sometimes people are together and try different things out and it works or it doesn't work. It's just all very convoluted. That being said, neither one of you are allowed to be friends with anyone who's ever wronged me.

[Lily]

Who's wronged you?

[Kendall Landriff]

Yeah.

[Jordan Meyer]

Not that many people. That's what I'm saying. It's a very reasonable request. But I'm not allowed to be friends with your ex.

[Kendall Landriff]

You think everyone's wrong.

[Lily]

You're not allowed to. You just wouldn't be like.

[Jordan Meyer]

But if I tried to be annoying. If I tried to be. What, she would give me an ear fault. There's no world.

[Lily]

But you wouldn't.

[Jordan Meyer]

She's acting better than she is.

[Kendall Landriff]

Oh, no.

I think because I don't. I don't dislike almost anyone. If I dislike someone, I do get very like, even like, if I found out you were friends with like, or you even, like, hung out with someone that I really didn't like, I would be, like, I think privately probably annoyed because I dislike so many people.

[Jordan Meyer]

One person. And you know, and you know.

[Kendall Landriff]

And you would never.

[Jordan Meyer]

You would never.

Yeah.

You would never. You would never.

[Kendall Landriff]

Thank you all so much for being here. Lily, thank you so much for being here.

[Lily]

Thank you for finally having me on.

[Kendall Landriff]

This was an absolute delight.

[Lily]

You're welcome.

[Jordan Meyer]

I love you so much. You.

[Kendall Landriff]

It was you.

[Jordan Meyer]

You took too long because. But I'm so happy to have you here. I love you with my whole heart. And we love you all listening at home. Next week, we'll be back with our season finale. This is the penultimate episode. I think I'm using that correctly.

[Lily]

What's that mean, penultimate?

[Jordan Meyer]

Hell, yeah. And you don't need to have such.

[Lily]

A long Pause after the word Pen Pen Ultimate.

[Jordan Meyer]

I like to add drama. That's not your business. All right, well, follow us on YouTube. Like comment, subscribe to, rate and review Anywhere you get your podcast. Join our Patreon.

[Kendall Landriff]

Where can people find you?

[Jordan Meyer]

Yeah, Lily, where can people find you?

[Lily]

At my house, Lily Instagram at Lily Underscore do.

[Jordan Meyer]

Is that right?

[Lily]

No, that's not my username.

[Jordan Meyer]

It's not Lily Underscore D. That's what I thought. All right, we will put it in the bio so you can find Lily. And make sure you go watch Dirty Laundry on Dropout. Her incredible show.

[Lily]

Dirty Laundry. The fifth season is out now. Watch all the episodes and stream them like a K pop video. Just keep watching.

[Jordan Meyer]

Kendall's done an episode. I've done two episodes. It's an incredible show. Go watch and we'll see you next week. Bye.

[Kendall Landriff]

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