B (1:26)

No, I know. Well, you have to.

A (1:28)

I have to.

B (1:29)

I don't have to do it. And that's what we've figured out.

A (1:31)

That's very true.

B (1:32)

We married. I am so happy. I feel like it's bizarre. And I know a lot of married couples say this, so I hate to add it, but I feel different. You do? I do feel.

A (1:44)

Well, I think we both agreed that. We both immediately felt like more mature.

B (1:48)

Yeah.

A (1:48)

We were like my wife. Oh, we're older now.

B (1:51)

Yeah.

A (1:52)

We're more distinguished. We're married.

B (1:54)

Yeah. I didn't feel like our relationship was different. I felt different. I felt like I'm walking through the world as a married woman.

A (1:59)

Yes.

B (2:00)

I think especially because we used to say wife a lot. And I've said this before. Also, you might notice I'm talking slower. It's because one of my goals this year is to not use as many filler words.

A (2:10)

And she's doing an incredible job and.

B (2:12)

I'm doing a really good job. But I What was I saying? It's going to be impossible to do this.

A (2:20)

You were saying, we used to say.

B (2:21)

Wife a lot before wife a lot because we work together. And I found that it felt very immature sounding to have to be like, can my girlfriend come to this event? Girlfriend is just so. It means so many things. It's like it could be two days, it could be two months, or it could be five years. And we own a house together. And that is how I. That felt very wife to me. So I started saying wife. But then there is something so immature about calling your girlfriend your wife. Because I know that's like what my cousins do in the deep South. They'll have a boyfriend for two weeks. They'll be like my hubby. And that's kind of cringey too.

A (2:54)

But I also like to keep people guessing. That's for me what it was. Because sometimes people would be like, wait, are you guys married or not? Sometimes you say wife, sometimes you say fiance. And I'm like, you don't need to know until I'm ready now. No more guessing now, you know. But, you know, I like to sometimes what? Have a little bit of privacy.

B (3:08)

Yeah.

A (3:08)

That's fun, right?

B (3:09)

Yeah.

A (3:09)

Kind of keep you guys guessing.

B (3:10)

Yeah.

A (3:11)

Unless you're on the Patreon. On the Patreon, we show whole. Basically. We emotionally show whole. I don't even think we have to chat that much at the top of this episode because we got so many questions.

B (3:21)

Oh, my God.

A (3:22)

About us getting married.

B (3:23)

Let's hear it.

A (3:24)

About our non wedding. And I think it's what the people want to hear.

B (3:27)

Let's talk about it. Let's go on. Come on.

A (3:30)

First up, someone wants to know why we decided to get married in New York instead of la.

B (3:34)

Well, because we lived there for a long time. And I think if you want the honest answer, it was far away from people in a way that made it easier to explain why people could not come, which I think is really hard. We value people in our life very much. And I would say we have many people in our life who we consider family and truly consider family. Where, you know, we go watch their kids frequently and their kids think of us as aunts. Like, we were very close with a lot of people. So it's not about not wanting those people on that day. But I think anyone who's thrown even a damn birthday party knows it can snowball so fast. And we kept being like, it sounds bitchy of us to say this, but we just are too popular.

A (4:19)

We have to private conversation Kendall. And we're supposed to share with anyone.

B (4:22)

But I think a lot of people relate. Not even popular, because maybe a bunch of those people secretly don't like us. But we in this industry meet so many people constantly. Even doing this podcast. It's like every week we meet when there's a guest, someone that we're like, oh, we would invite you to our wedding. And then you add on old friends and you go back and if we invite this person, we have to invite this person. And I think eloping in la, it felt really intense because I think a lot of people would go, well, let me just show up.

A (4:49)

Yeah.

B (4:49)

And it's really intense to go, no, you can't come. Even if it's right next to your house, you can't come because if you come, then this person. And then it becomes a wedding. It just slowly becomes a wedding. And then we're trying to make a reservation for 40 people at a brunch spot. And it was just not what we wanted. And I think we really wanted it to be about the two of us. Like, I think we wanted it to feel like a week that was about our relationship and, you know, kind of a week of vows. It. What is what it felt like to me because we didn't do vows, because that's gay. But we didn't really do both. But it felt like a week of conversations and just making every moment really special.

A (5:29)

Planning.

B (5:30)

And yet instead of like, trying to get people together and plan for other people, when I wanted it to be about setting us up for success in our marriage.

A (5:39)

100. I think two things that I'll say in a little more of like a politically and socially correct way than Kendall said them. It's not just that we're popular. We have a lot of friends. We have a lot of people we really love, and a lot of people that we would want it.

B (5:51)

That's what I view popular to be there. I don't mean I'm like, Regina George and I have a bunch of minions.

A (5:56)

We have a lot of friends.

B (5:57)

Like, we have a lot of friends, and we have a lot of people we spend a lot of time with and care about. Popular. I was kind of joking, but you know what I mean. We have a lot of friends. We couldn't have a 20 person wedding. We would have to have a 300 person wedding.

A (6:09)

That was a big suggestion we got. People were like, well, why don't you just do a small wedding? And I'm like, we can't. We have too many people we genuinely love. To have a small wedding. So if we're having a wedding at all, it's going to be massive. And we just weren't looking to spend that kind kind of money on a singular day or be the center of attention in that way. Obviously, we're professional comedians and actors and writers, so we like being the center of attention. But I feel like only at work. I think when we're not at work, we don't really need to be the center of attention. Like in social settings.

B (6:41)

I don't like being the center of attention. And I actually feel like this is such a miss. What do they say? Misconception.

A (6:48)

Okay.

B (6:48)

A misconception about performers in general. I think, like, in any job, a toxic type of person can be called to it. Like, I think a really bitchy, nosy person can become a therapist, and that would call to them. I don't think most therapists are bitchy and nosy. And I think actors, yes, there are people who are obsessed with attention and need it like a drug, and they sometimes become performers. But I'm like, no, I like to perform on a stage or on the Internet. I don't like attention. I just seem like those are two different things. That'd be like, you wouldn't say that about a painter. You'd be like, well, she goes and does a gallery. She likes attention. Like, no one says that. It's just the medium in which I'm doing it. People think I like attention, but I really don't like attention.

A (7:30)

Good way to put it. I agree with that. I also think that something that Kendall had said from the beginning is that she wanted something that felt special but stress free. And I think just like going to our local courthouse just maybe didn't feel special enough, even though it felt stress free. So this allowed us to kind of have both those things. We went to New York. We both lived in New York for a long time. We also lived very differently when we lived there.

B (7:57)

It's very healing to go to New York now because Jordan and I both lived there when we had literally negative money. I mean, I was just in horrible credit card debt. And also we worked seven days a week. We didn't really get to do fun stuff, like when people. The theater and the dinners, like, I didn't do any of that. So it is nice to come back in such a different way. I think when you live in New York, especially in that income bracket, you're always in survival mode.

A (8:23)

Yeah.

B (8:23)

And I left New York with a lot of resentment for it. And I think if I wasn't with you, I would probably have never gone back because you're the person who's really been like let's go visit New York and see shows and whatever. But I hated New York when I left it. And I think it's always really healing to go back in a much calmer place.

A (8:41)

Yeah. And we know everything about it for the most part. We know how to get around. We know how the public transportation, transportation works. We know places we like. So it's not like going to a totally new place where there is excitement. But also maybe some like, oh, we got to be careful with this or we got to look into this. So we got. It's just kind of like it feels like an easy trip. It's not too far away. It's five hour plane ride which is like not crazy far. And we just got to go and have a nice time. We saw shows, we had dinners, we walked a ton, which we loved. It was cold. We love the cold.

B (9:12)

Well and you know, we didn't meet there but we kept saying it felt really cool to. We stayed in the East Village which is where both of us went to school when we were there. And even though it wasn't related to Jordan and I being together, I, you know, I'd walk past my old coffee shop and it would just make me think like what a different. Let me take out the filler word. It would just make me think what a different place I'm in now. And I would picture so clearly me being in that coffee shop at 18, just so different and walking by it as an almost married person in the career that I've always wanted. It was really special.

A (9:52)

I love that. Well off of this, someone wrote to us and said, my fiance and I are eloping this year. It's going to be just us and two of our close family members slash friends. We plan to do the legal stuff before the trip and just have a small vow exchange in a park. But we haven't finalized that yet. Any suggestions to make it still feel special even though we will already technically be wedding. Yes. Spend money. I think that is something. I know it sounds kooky and it doesn't have to be a billion dollars but if you take into account that like, I mean on a ten thousand dollar wedding would be like a dirt cheap wedding that you'd be hard pressed to have in a major city. $30,000 is still a cheap wedding in a major city. Like and those numbers are psychotic. I don't say cheap as in like that's not Worth much. I just mean that, like, weddings are so expensive. So since you're not having a wedding, do something else special.

B (10:46)

Splurge a little. Like we, the, the hotels we stayed in, for example, it's like, no, we're obviously not going to stay in a hotel that we literally can't afford, but we're just doing the step above what we usually would do.

A (10:57)

Yeah, A little nice, a little nicer. You know, we're going to a dinner that maybe is a little nicer than what we would normally go to. Maybe we go that day and like, buy a thing that feels special to us. You don't have to spend an absurd amount of money. But I think letting yourself splurge a little bit really makes it feel fun and different than just like a normal day. So that's my take on that.

B (11:19)

I like that. I also think doing things together leading up to it, because I liked. We had to get to New York early because we had to get our marriage certificate before we were able to get married. So we had to come a little bit early. And it was really nice to spend those days leading up. We didn't have a lot we had to bring to the wedding. But for example, we wanted to pick out flowers. And Jordan had found this really cool pop up. I guess it's not a pop up anymore.

A (11:41)

It was like an art installation pop up that was so popular that they made it permanent.

B (11:44)

Yeah. And it's like they're not felt, they're fabric. I thought they were felt, but they're. What are they? Like, they're almost like stuffed animals.

A (11:51)

Yeah, but like not. There's no faces or anything.

B (11:53)

Yeah, but they're just flowers. And so we went and we did together one morning. We had a really slow morning and I thought we did a good job of not planning a ton. And we, so we woke up, we went and picked out these flowers at this little bodega. And it was so special. And we took our time and it was slow and we were in our pajamas and something that I think in a lot of weddings as like getting the flowers delivered would be so, oh, go grab them or have someone else go grab them.

A (12:16)

Wedding planners kind of facilitating all of it. So you're not really thinking about it or that involved after you pick them out, like five months before or whatever.

B (12:24)

It was this slow, 45 minute, maybe 30 minute process that I'll remember forever because it was just each moment got to be something so special. So I think because you're doing something small, you can really take those Minute moments and be like, let's make this super special. 100 and so I think, you know, even if you want to get a cake going and doing a tasting or we didn't do that. But going into a tasting together, something that feels.

A (12:50)

You don't need to have a wedding to have a cake.

B (12:52)

Right. I mean, you can do whatever you want. So I think you can spend a little bit extra on those things and do something really special versus just like, speeding through everything. Because I think that's what I really didn't like about a wedding is it's just like speeding through everything for what?

A (13:05)

Yeah.

B (13:06)

And because it's the new year, I might say that's something we're both trying to do in the new year, too. Is just like, speeding through for what? Why are we speeding through anything?

A (13:14)

Yeah.

B (13:14)

And I think we've been talking about.

A (13:15)

This because I find myself to be like, okay, I have to, like, hurry up and make dinner. I have to hurry. And don't get me wrong, there's days when we're busy. There are days when everyone's busy, but sometimes there's this sensation of being like, I have to hurry up and get to this place as fast as possible. And then I have to hurry up and make dinner as quick as possible. I have to hurry up and pick out my outfit as quick as possible, Whatever. And I've been like, wait, why? Those are the activities. That's. That's life.

B (13:34)

Right?

A (13:35)

Like, picking out the outfit, making the dinner. That's life. So on days when I don't actually have to be rushing through those things, why not luxuriate in them a little more?

B (13:44)

Well, it's like I started walking places, and obviously some days I truly don't have time to do that, but I'll go walk to the pharmacy to get my medication. And it's like, okay, this is like a fun. It's nice. I put my music in, I go, I get a fun drink at the pharmacy, and I've. I've slowed it down and made it something really nice. I think that's the one thing I've always thought I would cherish about having kids, if I ever have a kid, is like, you're forced to be like, okay, everything we do, I have to, like, slow down and, like, teach a person to do it and also let them explore it, and it just would slow everything down. I'm trying to do that without having to have a kid.

A (14:17)

Yeah.

B (14:18)

Because that probably will ultimately be more relaxing, But I do find that. That cool.

A (14:23)

I love that. They want to know, are we changing names?

B (14:27)

No, no.

A (14:28)

Too much paperwork.

B (14:29)

Ultimately, that was really what it was. Of course, I have zero impulse control. So when the woman at the certificate place asked me, she was like, do you want to change your last name? I really almost said yes, like, just because it felt so easy and fun. But I did say no because I was just like, yeah, I'd have to do so much paperwork.

A (14:46)

And it's hard when you're in the public eye. People already know. You might need to know what.

B (14:51)

Because I'm not going to change it on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then. And not that I. That should mean everything, but it feels like it kind does. Because it's like. Well, what people would call me is that. And then it would just be like, for the dmv. My name is Kendall Myrick. I don't think we ever thought we would change it to my last name. I think I thought about changing it to your last name because I like your last name. And when I was a little girl, I always loved my first name, but I did not like my last name because I thought it was just hard to say. Landreth. It just doesn't roll off the tongue.

A (15:17)

The th.

B (15:18)

I think I also maybe have a minor lisp sometimes. I don't know. But I just really struggled with my last name. And I feel people were always like, what? And I would have to, like, spell it, but so I was always like. When I met you, I was like, I actually would change my name to Myrick because I think it's so cool. Kendall Myrick, I think, is nice.

A (15:33)

That's very sweet.

B (15:34)

But then when my dad passed away, I just felt too. I was like, well, felt guilty. Keep the name going. Because he doesn't have.

A (15:39)

Well, no, he is.

B (15:40)

No. I guess there are people that have carried the name on, but no one is cool as me.

A (15:45)

She's obsessed with herself.

B (15:48)

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A (16:34)

Okay, this person wants to know what was the flavor of the wedding cake?

B (16:40)

Well, it wasn't really ideally what Jordan would have wanted, because Jordan and I actually have very different sweet tooths.

A (16:47)

I would say yes.

B (16:48)

And I was like, it has to be white. I just was like, you come on. And I think for me, that was like, we're not having a wedding. What are the things that make it like a wedding? Like, I wanted a white dress.

A (17:00)

Yeah.

B (17:01)

I wanted a white cake. Some people may not, but that for me, I was like, that's what's gonna make this feel like a wedding. I wear dresses all the time. I eat cake. I eat a Costco cake, birthday cake, like, once a week. Like, I don't. I want it to be white.

A (17:10)

Yeah.

B (17:12)

And so that did hinder us a little bit. We actually had such a special thing with the cake. Do you want to talk about that?

A (17:18)

Yeah. We. We were very lucky. Magnolia Bakery gifted us a cake, which was so nice. And we have always loved Magnolia Bakery. And I used to wear all the time. I love their cupcakes, and obviously, I love their banana pudding. And we got a chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream that said J +K in lavender frosting, which is Kendall's favorite color.

B (17:39)

And I feel like it's kind of become our color a little bit.

A (17:41)

Yeah, I agree.

B (17:42)

Like, only embroider stuff for. For as a couple, we always do lavender.

A (17:45)

Yeah. And then we used cake cutters that were cake cutters we found in a thrift store in Tahoe.

B (17:55)

Yeah.

A (17:55)

When you were on a trip with your mom. And they were so beautiful.

B (17:58)

Yeah, they were so beautiful and special. And so those things really made it special. We also were engaged for so long, which ended up being really nice because things like that, like, we were able to pick those up. I didn't have to go on Etsy. Not that there's anything wrong with this. We did this for some things in Google, like bride cake cutters. It all felt like, oh, that was a memory. Me and my mom at the thrift store, we found those. And. And it's like, the most sustainable way to do it, too, is taking a long time. That's something I'm trying to work on, is, like, not needing instant gratification, which is very hard for anyone. But I do think, especially if you have adhd, it's very hard. And so I am working on that. So I think that was really nice. We just felt like we'd accumulated all these special things.

A (18:37)

Yeah. Bring that to New York to them.

B (18:40)

And so, yeah, that was our cake.

A (18:42)

I love that people want to know if we had trouble deciding on our outfits or how we decided on our outfits and if they can get outfit details.

B (18:48)

No, we did not have trouble deciding.

A (18:50)

Easy.

B (18:50)

It was easy peasy. I, like, I had no idea what I wanted. I think decisions are often easy for me because I really don't have expectations. I think I never. If you would have asked me, what type of wedding dress do you want? I would have been like, I have no idea. I think because it was a courthouse wedding, I assumed it would be a little more casual. I should have known. But I did go to Cream and Ivory, which is a vintage wedding dress shop. And I. I hesitate to say this cuz they might be like, please don't tell people this, but I am like, you should go. You have to pay to go. So I feel a little better about saying it, but I'm like, I would go just for fun because they have vintage wedding dresses going back to, oh my God, 120 years ago.

A (19:29)

It's unbelievable.

B (19:30)

And they're organized so well on this rack that moves in. So if you're like, oh, I kind of like the 70s look, you can go look at all these vintage dresses from the 70s. It was so special.

A (19:38)

So cool.

B (19:38)

I went with my mom, my sister, and Jordan. And I literally think that was maybe like the second dress I tried on. And I was like, yeah, well.

A (19:46)

And Kendall kept being like, I'm not getting a dress today. I'm just looking.

B (19:52)

But I knew, I was just saying. I was like. You weren't stressed?

A (19:54)

Absolutely.

B (19:55)

Getting a dress today Because I'm so decisive. I'm so decisive. I am like, whatever. Because whatever decision I make, I'll be happy with it. I would never let myself go down that hole of like, like, once I had the wedding dress.

A (20:05)

Yeah.

B (20:06)

You best believe I'm not looking at more wedding dresses online.

A (20:08)

Kendall and I are not the grass is always greener type of people. We're.

B (20:12)

We're much in a dry grass field and I'm happy as a clam.

A (20:15)

Yeah, we're very much like, you know, when you find something you like, that's awesome. And you don't search for more.

B (20:20)

Yes. We're explaining to each other why grass is dry. Grass is actually better. I feel like Jordan and I both do that. Well, we'll make a decision. And then for weeks after you and I are like. And you know another reason our decision was really good because of, like, we'll make anything. Which I love about you.

A (20:32)

Yeah.

B (20:32)

And I feel like makes our life really happy because whatever it is.

A (20:35)

Confidently in our decisions. Which is nice. And then the one thing I knew about my dress was that I wanted my mom to make it. My mom sews. My mom's really good at sewing. My mom sews a lot of my clothes. My mom has sewn every outfit for me for any major event in my life. All my homecoming dresses, prom dresses, whatever. And since my mom wasn't gonna be obviously there when we got married, I was like, oh, this would be a fun thing for my mom and I to do together. It was. Until it wasn't. It became a high stress situation where my mom was literally, like, sewing it on my body as I was, like, loading up into our friend Luke's car to go to the airport to go to New York.

B (21:12)

Well, I, I, your mom is amazing. Had obviously the ability to do. She did an incredible job. If you've seen the photos of Jordan's dress, it's, I mean, people are literally being in the DMs, like, where can I get Jordan's dress? I'm like, well, it's a Margot Myrick original.

A (21:28)

Yeah, I just kind of designed it. And then my mom just made it with no pattern or anything.

B (21:32)

100. She's amazing. But making someone's wedding dress is a lot of pressure. And I think no one could wrap their brain around how truly little you cared about how it looked. I think you just wanted it to be made by your mom.

A (21:43)

Yeah.

B (21:44)

And even I was like, okay, but Jordan, like, you need to, like, I was more stressed about timeline. I kept being like, jordan, you need to go, like, tell your mom what you want made. You guys need to go have a meeting or something. Like, everyone's like, I don't care if my mom makes me a burlap sack. I'll wear it. I'll be happy as a clam. But I think we were all like, no. On the day of, though, you're gonna be like, I'm stressed about my wedding dress. You just never were. Granted, you didn't have to be because.

A (22:05)

Her dress is a good job. I was impressed about it at all.

B (22:08)

But I think she was. But I think moms. My, my mom had this. I remember, like, my sister got married. My sister was like, can you do my makeup for my wedding? And my mom was like, no, I'm not. And my, my sister was like, but used to do makeup for, like, proms and stuff. And I think it's this beautiful, like, childlike image of your parents where you're like, well, you're the best at everything. Like, you are the best at everything. That I think is very sweet. But your mom also happens to be. I think both of our moms also are kind of the best at everything.

A (22:36)

Yeah, both moms are very nicely talented that Gen X.

B (22:39)

Like. Like, I don't need to know how to do something to do it. I'll learn as I go, and I can do anything.

A (22:44)

Yeah, absolutely. I agree. Okay.

B (22:47)

Oh, but you looked so beautiful. She made the veil too.

A (22:50)

Oh, yeah, my mom made the veil too. Kendall's veil was also vintage. And then Kendall's shoes I got for her on Poshmark. I believe they maybe are Zara brand or something.

B (22:58)

Yeah, well, that was very important to me. I wanted everything to be reused.

A (23:01)

Yes. And then my shoes were huge. My shoes were literally and figuratively Simone Rocha crocs high heel bejeweled white croc that I bought. When those dropped, I entered a raffle to be able to purchase them, which I hate to say out loud, but ultimately is the truth. And I saw them, and I mean, this was years ago. And I was like, I'm gonna get married in these. And I did. And then we both wore fleece tights underneath our dresses.

B (23:35)

And I wasn't cold that day.

A (23:36)

No, not.

B (23:37)

Which is amazing because I was like, there's no way I'm not going to be freezing, because I did not take into account weather with my dress kind of purposefully because I was like, I don't want a long sleeve dress, so I'll just be cold.

A (23:47)

Yeah.

B (23:48)

But I wasn't. The fleece tights were really a lifesaver.

A (23:50)

Yeah. And then we both did our own hair and makeup. My friend Jillian, who's a professional makeup artist, she does my makeup for mythical things when I get my makeup done for them. And I love her. And she and I have become good friends outside of work.

B (24:05)

And she's five rescue Chihuahuas.

A (24:06)

Just five rescue Chihuahuas.

B (24:07)

My type of lady.

A (24:08)

And she insisted on coming over and doing, like, a tutorial with us just to show us how to do our own makeup, because she knows that Kendall and I aren't big makeup gals. And she showed us what to do. She gifted us some products to use. And I think we both just looked so beautiful. And I really do feel like a lot of that is thanks to Jillian.

B (24:23)

Oh, yeah. She did a great Job.

A (24:25)

Yeah. I love her.

B (24:26)

And we'll carry those for the rest of our lives. Those tips we learn.

A (24:28)

Oh, yeah, I'm doing that every day.

B (24:29)

I was doing it this morning. She told me to down on my blush.

A (24:32)

Yeah, I love that down. Beautiful.

B (24:35)

I did that this morning. And I look incredible, don't I?

A (24:37)

You look unbelievable. This person wants to know if we plan on having a reception later.

B (24:42)

No, no. You kept kind of floating it with people for like the last couple years. I feel like people. You'd be like, we'll elope and then maybe have a party later. And I kept being like, no, we're not.

A (24:51)

To get them off my back.

B (24:52)

I'm not doing that. I don't want to throw even a house dinner party. I. I'm not throwing a reception.

A (24:59)

Yeah. My thing is just once again, we got a lot of people we like. It would have to be like a 300 person party. I'm not interested in throwing a 300 person party. I'm not a nightclub. I just don't want to do that. I also think something, and I believe we've talked about this before on the podcast, is that a lot of things that are associated with traditional weddings are things that we do often for work. So getting our hair and makeup done, wearing essentially a costume, being the center of attention, being the center of attention, having photos and videos taken of us, things like that. I think a lot of people that feels special and unique and I think for us it feels more adjacent to work.

B (25:39)

I think there were parts of our wedding day that were obviously was special and this doesn't make it bad, but I think that felt work, that felt work related, especially knowing, okay, well these will go on social media like that. It's all we are. You know, we pick and choose what we share and what we don't share. But I think it very quickly becomes like a job because it's also the excitement of it's. I'm not excited by having my photo taken. Now granted, this was special because my roommate from college. Well, I wasn't in college, but I was college age. No, she didn't go to acting school.

A (26:10)

But it was when you were in acting school, right?

B (26:11)

Yeah, yeah, it was right out. Was right after. It's not important. But I was, I wasn't actually in acting school anyways, but I was trying to make it brief, but I made it way longer. But she was a roommate of mine when I was younger and she is a professional photographer. She's so talented. I've always just like adored her Photos, but she also does a lot. Her name's Jen, and we've tagged her on all social media. So if you're ever looking for a photographer in New York, hit her up.

A (26:37)

Unbelievable.

B (26:37)

Unbelievable. I trusted her completely because I'd just been following her for years. So I. And I, once again, I had no expectations. So when she had a meeting with us, being like, what do you want? I was like, I want it to document the day. Like, that's really all I want. Like, I. I want to look at the photos and remember that day and.

A (26:51)

Look like ourselves, and that's us doing the thing we actually did.

B (26:54)

But I have no, Like, I need this shot. I was like, I really. I think for me, wedding photos felt special to me because it was just like, I think it's something you do share with your, like, nieces and nephews and family and kids, if you have them. And I. I remember being growing up, and when people would show me their wedding photos, even if it was just like. Like one of my friend's parents, I'd be like, oh, my God, I love this. I'd love to see that. I just thought it was so special. But I did not want photos that didn't feel like my wedding. That felt like a photo shoot. And then we had a separate event that wasn't even represented in those photos.

A (27:27)

Yes. I think some people treat it more like a photo shoot, which I think is totally normal. Once again, most people don't do photo shoots regularly, as Kendall and I do for work, and we wanted to look like ourselves. So it was, for example, raining on the day, and we were just like, yeah, we're, like, a little frizzier than we would be if it wasn't raining. And, like, that's okay.

B (27:44)

That's what happened on the day. Yes.

A (27:46)

We don't need these photos to be like, this is the most sexy and snatched we've ever looked in any pictures.

B (27:51)

We just wanted to just happen to look the most sexy and snatched we ever looked.

A (27:54)

Oh, sure. Absolutely. That was a coincidence. This person wants to know if the paperwork was simple. And what I have to say to that is, yes, but it is so much more simple if you do it at the courthouse. A lot of people go get their marriage license and then have, like, a friend marry them or whatever, like, in a ceremony or at a reception. And I am officiated.

B (28:14)

Wait, you're ordained?

A (28:15)

I'm ordained. There we go.

B (28:16)

You've done it multiple times.

A (28:17)

I've officiated three different weddings. Every single one of them something has been done wrong with the paperwork. There's a problem with the minister, Kendall, and I've also heard that from everyone who's had a friend officiate, like, people.

B (28:30)

Will always have to send back.

A (28:32)

And it's because it's a little confusing. When you do it at the courthouse, they're like, sign here, sign here, sign here. And then there's no problems, because that's that person's job. They know exactly what to do. They know exactly what to look for. Whereas if you're doing it yourself and there's, oh, you went over into this section a little too much with this answer. So now you have to redo it. They would know that in that moment, you could go ahead and fix it. If a friend is doing it, you guys don't know that. And then you have to send it to them, they have to clock it, then they have to reach back out to you. It just takes a lot more time. So the paperwork is not how you're.

B (29:03)

Dealing with the government, which it's like, nothing could sound worse. Not just, great, go in and just get it all done. Bam, bam, thank you.

A (29:11)

And just do it. So, yeah, my recommendation would be do everything there so it's done, and then just have. If you're having a ceremony, have it be fake. Pretend like you're doing it there.

B (29:21)

Yeah.

A (29:22)

Because it is so easy to mess up despite it being simple paperwork.

B (29:26)

Yeah, totally.

A (29:27)

That's what I think about that. Are there any practical reasons we decided to get married? Like tax benefits, for example?

B (29:34)

I mean, probably, yes. But, like, to be honest, maybe you have a different answer, but I feel like no, because I don't even know. Know what those are. I think I just. I think I got married with the knowledge there are benefits, but I don't know what they are. I think for me, it was more of, like, a safety, I think. I guess this is practical. I like the idea of, on paper, you and I being married for medical reasons.

A (30:00)

We're each other's number one.

B (30:01)

We're a number one. I think it's provable. I think it feels. I think in this country, you're always trying to keep a paper trail at the moment of. I just didn't want. I think I. I did start to rush a bit when Trump was elected president.

A (30:15)

Yeah.

B (30:16)

Where I just felt kind of like I don't want to regret not having locked this down. I think I always also struggled where I was, like, well, if they can take something away, they can take anything away.

A (30:26)

Sure.

B (30:26)

And I think people would always Be like, well, no, they can't. If you're married, you are married. But I'm like, I think time and time again, it's been shown that they actually can kind of do whatever they want.

A (30:34)

Well, we asked. My best friend from high school is a lawyer and is also gay and is also getting married soon. And so I asked him, I was, are you worried? Are you guys going to rush to get married now that it seems like maybe? And he was like, no, because if they can make getting gay married illegal in the state of California, they can annul your marriage as well. Like, that's going to be a. A whole new slew of problems to deal with if we hit that point.

B (31:01)

But I think I just felt like I was. I think it felt like I was kind of. I was. What would you say, like, arming my weapons. I don't know, but I like my ammo. You were right for that scenario. And I think getting married felt like the first block I could put in front of protecting our relationship. Because it. And I think for me, it came to how I felt about our relationship and you, which is like, if the government was just looking at it and they saw us as just two little girlfriends, I would be like, that is such a misrepresentation of our relationship. We're a married couple. So that felt like. I think for me, it was more this feeling of. And I think, of course, marriage as an idea is not. You know, there's many different thoughts you can have on it. But for me as a lesbian, I felt very affirmed in being able to get married. And I think there's a lot of times in life as a lesbian, in men, even coming from an accepting family, there's still so many moments where you feel like your relationship is not equal to the straight people in your life, the straight. And it's not seen as a serious. It's not seen as. As valid. And I think for me, getting married felt like I was. I was taking control and I was making our marriage, our relationship, valid.

A (32:20)

I agree. I also, sadly, have seen multiple times that in things like a medical situation, everybody thinks they know back best.

B (32:31)

And when you're seeing everyone at the worst, you're seeing everyone at the people, and you don't. You will see the worst side of people.

A (32:37)

People are doing things that they never, ever thought they would do because they're in such great pain. And sadly, I've experienced this firsthand and in. In situations close to me. And I think the reality is, unless you're in a really bad situation, More often than not, your spouse is spending every single day with you, and they do probably know what you want more than other people. Your parents are very close to you and love you. Typically, you're not most people spending every single day with your parent. You're not speaking as freely with a parent.

B (33:09)

I know a different version of you every day with a very different version of you, and. Absolutely. But when you are in danger or you're sick or you're in a coma or whatever it is, everyone is gonna feel like this, of course. Like, emotional feeling of, I know this person best, and I know what they want, and I just didn't want any. I think for you. Yeah. It was just. I don't want there to have to be a conversation for the sake of everyone. Like, you don't want to have to be going through something so upsetting while also having to handle family dynamics, bickering.

A (33:43)

Hurt feelings for anyone.

B (33:45)

Like, it's just not. That was important for you and I. Important for me, too.

A (33:48)

Yeah. Kendall and I just needed to know that if something were to happen, that plug's getting pulled.

B (33:54)

You know what? And you love to say that. And I'm.

A (33:57)

I keep.

B (33:58)

I'm like, you're gonna. They're gonna be like, she wasn't in a coma. Pull the plug.

A (34:02)

Pull the plug. They're like, that is a heart monitor. You can pull that plug if you want. No, but I think there are things like that where it's like. It's just tough. You gotta make hard decisions, and more often than not, you're talking to your partner about that most intimately, most regularly. Your thoughts are the most up to date that they can be. And if something were to happen to you, and all of a sudden, someone's trying to argue with me about whether or not you want to be an organ donor. I'm like, shut up. Take whatever you need.

B (34:26)

Like, once again, that's a heart monitor, and we don't need her bones.

A (34:29)

Also, why she in the hospital? Wrong with her. But, yeah, I think that. I think that's good. A big thing for me as well was insurance. Kendall is now on my insurance. That was huge. That's going to save us a ton of money. Kendall and I both have to pay for insurance out of pocket because we are freelance unless we qualify that year for SAG insurance. Right now, I am qualified for SAG insurance. That saves us an unbelievable amount of money and helps us so much so to be able to get Kendall on my SAG insurance, even if it's just for a Little while is unbelievable and so helpful. So that was a big one to me. I don't think we are going to get any tax cuts for being married. I don't know. I have to look more into that. We're meeting with a new tax guy that a friend recommended.

B (35:08)

I think. I don't.

A (35:08)

Yeah, we'll figure that out. We'll get back to you right now. That's not a big push for us.

B (35:12)

But no, I think it. I feel like every time it was this way, when we bought a home, I was like, I'm pretty sure I get a tax cut for this. It seemed to be quite the opposite. I'm like, I hear rumors that you get tax cuts on things and. But I'm not operating. For me, the marriage was much more of the feelings of it, of just feeling like we're, you know, affirmed in our relationship. Not that you need to do that, but I do think sometimes as a queer couple, it feels healing to get to partake in something that, first of all, I didn't think I would ever get to do. I mean, when I was growing up and when you were growing up, it wasn't legal. And then I think it just so. It feels. I feel proud to do it. I think it's the same reason I vote. I sound so much like my mom. My mom is like this every year when an election, there were women who fought for your right to vote. She always, so you need to vote. And that's. That is how I feel. I'm like, you know, I, I feel proud that I get the people who allowed me to get to do this and get married. Today's episode is sponsored by Quint. A new year means a new wardrobe. Quince has everything you need to stay warm and look great. Mongolian cashmere sweaters, sharply tailored Italian wool coats, down jackets, denim and leather outerwear built to last, all at an amazing price. If you listen to this podcast, you know how I feel about quints. I'm wearing quince right now. I'm obsessed with quints. Any piece of clothing that I repeatedly wear is usually from quints. I especially adore their tank tops. Quince partners directly with ethical factories and top artisans. No middleman means you're getting top quality pieces without paying luxury prices. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince.

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Go to quince.comwalletwife for free shipping on your order. And 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com wife for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com wife today's episode of Happy Wife Happy Life is sponsored by Herobred. If you're trying to eat healthy this new year, try Hero Bread. Hero makes sliced bread, bagels, dinner rolls and more. High fiber, low net carb and zero grams of sugar. You'd never know it's low net carb and high fiber from the texture. It's soft and fluffy, just like you want it to be. Check out Hero's tortillas, croissants and buttermilk biscuits. I personally have been eating tons of the Hero dinner rolls and I've been tricked many a times by a health food that's supposed to taste really good and I'm usually disappointed. This is one of the first times that I had a Herobread dinner roll and was like wait a minute. This truly tastes like an incredible roll that I will crave and eat and buy. Not even cause it's healthy, just cause it's really good. I love this them. Hero also has you covered for dinner with their new Hero Noodles this year. Hit your goals without giving up your favorite bready dishes. Herobred is offering 10% off your order. Go to Hero Co and use code Wife at checkout. That's Code Wifero co. Today's episode is sponsored by Hungryroot. You don't have the time for grocery shopping and meal planning. Hungryroot is here to help. Think of Hungryroot as your personal nutrition coach and shopper. Tell them what you like, what you don't like, and your health goals. Hungryroot then plans your meals and fills your cart with personalized healthy grocery recommendations. As the person in the family who does not do the cooking, that's Jordan's job. Hungryroot makes me feel a lot better about leaving that insanely large task to them because it feels like a little helper that I can just send to do all the cooking with Jordan. This week alone with the groceries we got from Hungerroot, Jordan made the viral dumpling salad and and some type of cottage cheese Mac and cheese. I don't know. It was incredible and Hungryroot made that possible. And a little bit of Jordan. Hungryroot has over 50,000 recipes to choose from. There's something for everyone and you'll never get bored. For a limited time. Happy Wife Happy Life fans can take advantage of our exclusive offer. Get 40% off your first box plus a free item in every box for life when you go to hungryroot.com happy wife and use code happy wife.

A (39:11)

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A (39:20)

I always love questions like this that don't make sense. This person says, is it wild to marry the first girl you ever dated after dating only men? I think that's interesting because that's not true for either one of us.

B (39:31)

No.

A (39:32)

So I don't know who that's questioning.

B (39:34)

But I don't think so.

A (39:35)

I think it'd be weird.

B (39:36)

I don't think it matters.

A (39:37)

I. I've also said it before and I'll say it again, but it's not like. Like, I don't know. I think you date men and then you date women and you're like, people are people. Like, some people are right, some people are wrong. So I don't think it's that wild.

B (39:47)

If anything, you just have to explain less to another woman. I feel like.

A (39:52)

So it's like, you don't need to.

B (39:53)

Do that twice to marry someone.

A (39:55)

A lot of people asking, they want to know exactly what we had on our wedding day. And I will tell you. I am going to make a video about it. So just go to my social medias. I filmed everything we ate on our wedding.

B (40:03)

J Some really good stuff.

A (40:05)

I love that people want to know our favorite part. Each of us, best part of the day.

B (40:12)

Oh, my gosh. I would say getting ready fun. I think getting ready was really fun. I think the moment, like, the actual moment was really fun.

A (40:22)

Weirdly, yeah, I would. Getting ready's up there, obviously. And then I would say coming home at the end of the night where it's like, you don't have anything else to do. We just like, hopped in bed and turned on TV and we were both like, we're married. Like, that was very fun. And then also I loved. We were at the courthouse waiting. I think it is so fun because everyone is there getting married. So it was all different types of people. Like, there were some people who seemed like their situation was much more traditional and they each had their parents there and. And whatever. And then like, the couple in the room across from us had a French bulldog that was also wearing a wedding dress with them and a photographer. And it was like a big thing. And everyone just kept being like, congratulations, Congrats to you. Oh, you look beautiful. Oh, you look beautiful. Like, it just was really like, good, fun energy. And I think we were so pressed about having to be so much the center of attention, eyes on us. And that's something we so didn't want for a wedding. I think it really itched that thing.

B (41:18)

Of what we wanted.

A (41:19)

Felt like we were part of like a broad community that day.

B (41:22)

Which felt like really sweet and everyone was really supportive. I think like I was surprised. I think I assumed and I was fine with this, but I assumed the people at the courthouse would be giving dmv.

A (41:33)

I thought next. Shut up.

B (41:35)

Yes, they do it every day. And that's kind of who you're usually met with. Quite the opposite. I felt like I met some of the nicest people who worked at the New. Especially New York City. I said, these people are gonna be screaming at me while I'm trying to get married. They were so nice. And I felt like all of them really knew their responsibility. However important you deem it. They were like, these people, this is their most important day. This is a really important day for them. It's exciting. And so even though I see 900 brides a day, I'm gonna be really sweet about it. I think especially being gay in those scenarios, sometimes it's a little. It's kind of like a little nerve wracking.

A (42:14)

You never know how people are gonna ask.

B (42:15)

Yeah, you're like, oh, is the person who's gonna like check me in to get married gonna be homophobic or are they gonna be really moody? And then I'm questioning if it's because I'm gay or if. Because I am not that I should care. But it just, you know, you question a lot. Everyone was so supportive and. And outwardly, like one of the people came up to us who worked there and was just like, I think that. Cuz I was helping Jordan with your makeup.

A (42:34)

Yeah.

B (42:34)

And she was like, this is why I think it should just be lesbians. Cuz this is how it's. God intended for us to help each other with our makeup.

A (42:40)

Which she's like this old woman sweet.

B (42:42)

It's nice that everyone felt like they really took the responsibility to make sure that we felt excited for our wedding day, which was nice.

A (42:48)

The woman that married us like did it and she was so nice and so sweet. And then when she went to leave, she took a deep breath and then turned around. She said, said, never go to bed angry. Always communicate. And gave us like four pieces of advice. And then she was so sweet. And then guess what? Guess what she told us. She told us that her child's name is Jordan Kendall.

B (43:07)

Which later I said, do you think.

A (43:09)

She just says that to everyone?

B (43:11)

Or she like, my daughter's name is John Kerry. John Car.

A (43:16)

That's weird. I also don't want to certify right now. That is something that I told you. And in every retelling of this, you've made it that you came up with that idea.

B (43:22)

No, I think I did.

A (43:23)

You didn't.

B (43:24)

No, I think I did.

A (43:25)

Sweetheart, you didn't know.

B (43:25)

I thought I said. I think I went, what if she says it to everyone and then you kind of tagged on to it?

A (43:29)

That is literally the opposite of what happened. I said, wouldn't it be funny if she said that to everyone? Like she's saying, my daughter's name is Michael. Samantha.

B (43:38)

No, I think I did. I really do think I did.

A (43:40)

You didn't, I promise.

B (43:41)

Maybe we said at the same time. You didn't hear me.

A (43:43)

That must be it.

B (43:43)

I didn't hear you. That must be it. But I thought it was so funny because also, Jordan Kendall. It's just like, not a name. I don't know. I just think that's so funny.

A (43:51)

It is Jordan, first name Kendall, middle name.

B (43:53)

No, I know what it is. I know what she was saying, but it's not Kendall. Kendall, common.

A (43:56)

Oh, no, it's not Jordan Kendall.

B (43:58)

Jordan Kendall's just. Kendall's just not a common middle name. I didn't think.

A (44:01)

I don't know.

B (44:02)

It's not a common name in general. You just read about the name Kendall.

A (44:04)

You'D think it's very different.

B (44:06)

Well, no, you'd think it's common, but then really think I. Maybe because of Kendall Jenner. I don't know. But we think of Kendall as a common name. Maybe I do. Maybe it's just because it's my name. We think of it as a common name. But then really think about how many Kendalls you know. Not many. It's also gender neutral, which a lot of people don't know.

A (44:20)

Just like Jordan.

B (44:20)

Yes, but I don't think people think of Kendall as a gender neutral name. But there's a man named Kendall. My son, for example, would be named Kendall.

A (44:27)

Kendall junior. This person wants to know what our most thoughtful gift we received was. And we received multiple really sweet things we didn't do, like a big registry or anything. But obviously some people are like, you gotta send us something to get you. So Kendall and I just sent out a little basically like Google Doc almost, that had some charities we liked and then a couple small things that we liked. But if I may say. Oh, if I may talk about your aunt.

B (44:52)

Oh, yeah, that's sweet.

A (44:54)

She sends Kendall. She's a very Very, very old woman. Extremely old. And she sends Kendall. Well, no, and beautiful. And she said, and the last card I'll be sending. Sexy as hell. Tight, right? That's what I have to say about her. But I just mean she's of a different era. She's. She's. She's much, much, much older than Kendall and I, obviously. And. And we have never been sure if she knows that you're gay. If we're in a relationship.

B (45:19)

She knows. No, I know she knew because my dad, I think this is so funny, but my dad, so when he went right after I came out, he was going to visit his family. She's my aunt on my dad's side. He was going to visit my family. And the whole car ride there, he's going to my mom, don't tell my family that Kendall's gay. Because it's just gonna be a whole thing.

A (45:39)

It's gonna be.

B (45:40)

They're gonna be unhappy. It's gonna be dramatic. And like, don't do it. This is so my dad. If you ever met my dad, it's. This is so him to a tea. My mom's like, he's telling me this the whole ride there. Don't tell about Kendall being gay. Don't talk about it. Talk about it. We get through the door, he goes, I need to everyone tell everyone Kendall's gay.

A (45:55)

Immediately.

B (45:56)

Cuz he needed. I think he really did think, I'm not going to tell anyone. But he could not. He could not give up a moment of drama. He loved drama. And I don't know a ton about what happened after he made the big announcement, but I know they know, but.

A (46:11)

We don't know how they feel about you being gay. And also, I think there's a thing of, like, who knows if she even remembers at this point that you're still gay. Like, she's not like, on your social media. Like, we just don't know what her. We don't know if she knows who I am or about me or if I exist or whatever, but I think.

B (46:25)

I've always felt a separation. And I think a lot of gay people too, gay people do, where you come out as an adult and then you kind of just like say goodbye in your head to your extended family. And because. And not because they specifically said no, but you just kind of grieve this. Like, I'm not gonna be. I don't know what it is, because it's not like I came out to them and then they said, no, I don't want to see you Again, no.

A (46:48)

You just kind of know you in one sense, and then now they have to know you in a different sense. And I think a lot of times your extended family doesn't want to put in the effort to know you in a new way. Most of the time, your extended family doesn't even want to get to know you as an adult, period. They just want to know you as, like, the child you always were in relation to them. Because people got a lot of stuff going on. On anyway. We just weren't sure what she knew, what she remembered, whatever. But she sends Kendall a card every Christmas, birthday, birthday, whatever.

B (47:15)

They're usually religious, too.

A (47:16)

Yeah, it always has, like, a Bible verse in it. It's always, to Kendall, whatever. And after we got married, we got home and we had a card from her that was addressed to both of us.

B (47:25)

Yeah.

A (47:26)

That had a very nice message to both of us. That was not religious, and it had $20 in it. And she's never. Now, I don't think she's ever sent you money before. No.

B (47:35)

Well. And it really made me. It made me cry, which I think was. Was not very like me. I. But I. I think because I just surprised. I was very surprised. And I was not like. I think it's one of those moments where you don't realize, oh, my God, I'm crying now. Kill me. I got to rain it in. It's one of those moments where you.

A (47:53)

Don'T realize you're crying right now. I thought you were saying that in relation to the story. It's one of those moments where you're saying, I'm crying now. Don't. Okay.

B (47:59)

You're actually crying right now.

A (48:00)

It's sweet.

B (48:01)

Well, I think it's one of those things. And maybe as a gay person, you do this a lot, but you're like, I didn't. I had already done that, rejecting myself, and I had not. Like, I had not expected anything. I had not. And I hadn't thought I missed that. Like, I. I didn't think, oh, I wish I could tell my extended family about my wedding. Oh, I wish I could, like, get congratulations from my extended family, who I'm not that close with for my wedding. And you just kind of.

A (48:27)

Of.

B (48:27)

I just didn't expect anything. So when I came home and I got that, it was. I mean, it. I mean, well, it was $20, but I think it was not, like, the most extravagant gift we got. It was a huge. It really made. It made me cry. And I think I was just like, I didn't know I needed that and that was nice.

A (48:43)

Yeah, I think that's wonderful. All right, well, we're coming to the end of this episode. I know this episode's a little short. That's because next week we have an extra long episode with a very exciting guest. We're bringing a new energy into 2026 for the podcast. So just get ready. Yeah, just kidding. Hop on, hop on, hop on. Whatever you ride together. Hop on, hop off. It's like a Taurus bug. We're done with this episode. We're going to be answering more of these questions about our I do's on the Patreon. So head over there if you're interested. We have a bunch of new stuff added to the Patreon for 2026. It's very exciting. We hope to see you there. Go follow us on Instagram, tick tock, YouTube. If you listen to us where you listen to your podcast, make sure to like, like comment, subscribe, favorite. All that stuff really helps us. We really appreciate it.

B (49:26)

We have a new segment every single week. At the end of the episode, we're going to say a pickup line that you send us. Yeah. So send us a pickup line. Email it to us at hwhl pod questions gmail.com pickup line. Say your name, first name, where you're from and maybe it'll end up in the episode.

A (49:44)

Yeah. Every week we're doing a new pickup line from a listener and we will be rating it. So stay tuned for that next week and start sending in your juicy pickup line lines. All right, bye bye.

B (49:52)

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A (49:59)

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