All Bar Luke - s03eSP - The Christmas Dinner

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: All Bar Luke – s03eSP – The Christmas Dinner
Date: December 2, 2025

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Overview

This special Christmas episode revisits the warmth and chaos of a family holiday gathering through a slice-of-life, character-driven narrative set in the tradition of classic radio drama. It captures the misadventures, minor crises, and affectionate misunderstandings that define a British family Christmas, blending gentle humor with poignant reflections on connection, longing, and the search for comfort—whether in a turkey dinner, a brief chat, or a much-anticipated text.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Car Ride and Christmas Logistics

• The episode opens mid-journey, with characters navigating icy conditions, transporting mulled wine, and discussing how to logistically separate family members (including a dog and a baby)—all referencing the classic puzzle of the farmer, fox, chicken, and grain.
  • Memorable Analogy:
    • “It’s a bit like the poem about the farmer and the chicken and the grain and the foxes and the river, is it not?... That is why I’m making two trips, because of separating husband, wife, dog, and baby.” (00:51)
• Lee’s attempts to bond with his new in-laws through ill-timed drinking set off gentle admonishments.
• The narrator muses on the stresses of Christmas dinner and the inevitability of family rows.

2. Family Gatherings, Tensions & Traditions

• The complexity of merging families and traditions is reflected in banter (“He can eat for Britain, that one”), choices about who can stay over, and minor quarrels about pet safety around the new baby.
• The story gently pokes fun at British convention, e.g., never wanting to rock up to in-laws “swigging Hofmeister,” and the avoidance of emotional displays (“you shouldn’t be crying at two different Christmas dinners in one day”).

3. Technology Woes & Yearning for Connection

• A major subplot revolves around Luke’s frustration with his new, as-yet-unactivated mobile phone—which keeps him from messaging a girl he’s interested in (Holly).
  • “‘I just want to be texting this person. Just. I want to text this girl Happy Christmas and she has no idea I’m between phones. So I’m... looking like a right Scrooge over here.’” (10:27)
• Several humorous and heartfelt calls with the phone company’s Kitty Bonner add flavor, underscoring Luke’s mild desperation for digital connection in a world of analog, in-person drama.
• The juxtaposition of old fears (messy family Christmases) with new anxieties (waiting for an important text) illustrates the timelessness of longing and hope.

4. Social Rules, Sobriety, and Inclusion

• Lee is banished to the garden to sober up and allowed in only after passing a “series of tests” by his father-in-law—a running joke about British prudery and rule-following.
• Negotiations over sleeping arrangements (“if Lee was with Hayley, I could have the sofa and thus a drink…”) highlight the quest for adult freedom within family constraints.
• Family members fret about Christmas convention: who carves the turkey, who wears the cracker hats, and the right time for charades.

5. Heartfelt Confessions and Gentle Encouragements

• Luke provides pep talks to other family members (especially Hayley, struggling as a new mother), likening their struggles to biblical figures or the trials of parenting.
  • “So Mary was a young mother. Mary Christ, Jesus’ mother. And she managed. Yeah, but you’ve got a Joseph—Lee. He might not be a carpenter, but he’s a good man and he’s trying to grow a beard.” (15:25)
• There’s an underlying message about not giving up hope:
  • “Never give up hope. Do you know what I mean by that? No matter what. Even if you’re just getting pissed about by… But I think it’s good advice from one Warsaw to another.” (23:10)

6. Resolution and Personal Connections

• After much anticipation and missed connections, Luke finally gets to talk to Holly, setting up a more personal, intimate ending to Christmas night.
  • Holly: “I’d love you to [come over], yeah. I’m just watching Dibly.”
  • Luke: “I’m going to come over… You’re lovely, Holly.” (28:02–29:26)
• The episode’s close is quietly uplifting: after all the chaos, there’s comfort in human connection, shared (sometimes delayed) rituals, and possibility—set to the gentle task of letting off fireworks together.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Mixed Families and Logistics:
  • “Separating husband, wife, dog, and baby… Why would I have a cheetah in the car? Then I’d be happy to go 60.” (00:51)
• Christmas Social Worries:
  • “That is not how I want this to end. I want it to have a nice ending… watching Dibly get ready to scuttle past and go and sponge your jeans.” (00:51)
• Soft Self-Effacement:
  • “I think on my gravestone there ought to be just a picture of me holding the two short ends of crackers like a nelly.” (15:25)
• On Mobile Phone Frustrations:
  • “From my point of view, don’t upgrade people if you can’t follow it through. I keep turning it off and on and hitting against my thigh, but it’s not activating. I’m being patient. But I need my phone, you know?” (10:27)
• On Uncertainty and Hope:
  • “Never give up hope. Even amongst the rubbish, there are angels.” (23:10)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:51–04:00: The car journey, family logistics, and comical analogies
• 09:50–13:50: Technology woes and Christmas anxieties
• 15:25–20:00: Efforts to reconcile family tensions, hats and holiday traditions
• 23:10–25:00: Solitude, hope, and Luke’s personal reflections
• 28:02–29:56: Heart-to-heart with Holly and setting up a hopeful Christmas night

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Tone and Style

The episode delivers warmth, gentle wit, and understated emotional resonance in classic British tone—self-effacing, a little chaotic, and always aiming for kindness over confrontation. The dialogue is light but often layered, weaving comedy and vulnerability seamlessly.

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For listeners new to All Bar Luke or radio drama, this episode is a perfect festive microcosm—celebrating both the difficulties and delights of gathering, technology, and hope.

Transcript

[A]

What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[B]

Hmm. It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[A]

Could you be more specific?

[B]

When it's cravenient.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at am pm. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at am pm.

[A]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[B]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[A]

Crave, which is anything from am, pm.

[B]

What more could you want? Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. Am, pm Too much good stuff.

[D]

Could you check my phone, Lee? No, no, no text. Put that bunny over here. Let me have a look.

[C]

Ah.

[D]

Are you all right, Lee? Sorry. Bit of black ice. I shall slow down. Did the. Did the mulled wine go on? Sorry. I mean, there's an argument for saying you shouldn't be trying to drink it while we're going along. You can't control the ladle. I think I just. I was guilty of speeding up because I wanted to get there quicker because I've got to do the two trips. It's a bit like the poem about the farmer and the chicken and the grain and the foxes and the river, is it not? Well, you know, whatever it might be. Fairy tale, then. Fairy tale. He didn't want to put the fox and the chicken in the boat with the grain in case they, you know, would have all eaten each other, wouldn't it? What I'm talking about, Lee, is I guess that is why I'm making the two trips. Because of separating husband, wife, dog and baby. I think I'll keep her at 20. I've never been comfortable driving an animal faster than it can go in real life. What? Firstly, that is a big if because why would I have a cheater in the car? Then I'd be happy to go at 60. Because a cheetah wouldn't be scared. Well, no, that's just daft because why would I be driving a snail around? The point being, I don't think you should buy your wife a dog and then apparently not give a monkeys if you scare it. How are your thighs? Sorry. I think I'm gonna see if I can stay the night too. Problem is, don't think I'm gonna get through it if everyone's drunk and I'm stone cold sober. Lee, why are you opening that? Lee? You don't want to be rocking up at your in laws swigging Hofmeister. Well, Because I think that what you see as bonding with your father in law, he. More Caesars, you know, I mean you need to be making him think you're not a knob. Right. Look at me. Yeah, fairly horrible. Look at your eyes. They're bigger than they should be if I'm completely honest. They're like a reindeer's eyes. I think it must be something in Turkey and beer and gold coins that doesn't agree with you. Here, put these shades on. Now pop your beer down in the bit for cans there. Because I know that any more of that nonsense liquid and I'm going to end up scooping you up off the charades carpet and trying to convince your new family you're a good lad. And that is not how I want this to end. I want it to have a nice ending. I don't know, watching Dibli get ready to scuttle past and go and sponge your jeans and then find somewhere without an adult where you can just sit and sober up until I'm back. Alright, Mrs. A. Yep. Don't mind old Stevie Wonder. There he goes. Happy Christmas. Yeah. Now I can't stay because I've now I'm the muggins figure today. So now I've got to go back and fetch Hayley and the. And the. The. And Thomas because Lee bought Haley this. It's a baby dog. Hayley didn't want to have the dog and the baby in the same car in case the dog, you know, ate the baby. Now honestly, I will, I shall come in but not until I've completed the. I was saying to Lee, it's like the fairy tale with the fox and the grain and the confused farmer. This is mulled wine. We transported it hot. I'll just pop it here then. Probably should go in a minute. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah. A bit stressful. Yeah, well Leah and Hayley just. Well, you know, it can be stressful at Christmas dinner, can't it? I think there's some statistic like is it the most popular dinner for rows something. I mean it certainly was today anyway. Well your, you know, your daughter thought that Lee was eating too much because. Funny really, she thought he wouldn't have enough room for your dinner. Well, no, he just had quite a lot of these turkey burgers and quite a lot of chips. But no, don't worry, he can eat for Britain that one. So just, you know, you feed him, you know, feed him masses and he'll be fine. I think mum's good at that. Bit of a speciality. I think it's Wine, obviously. And then sachets and heat. No, I won't. I'm driving. I wouldn't mind a. Yeah, just holding a. Holding one. Well, I got this scarf from Mum and Lee. Yeah, well, I mean, I'm difficult to get for. I never know what to buy myself, you know, throughout the year, so I pity anyone who has to get for me at Christmas. Oh, my three points came off my license in November, too, so that was an early. I mean, I had a crack in November. To be fair, I had a really good bonfire night this year, so. Swings and roundabouts, really, to be 100% honest with you, if I may, I prefer just to focus on getting stuff for other people. I know that's not what it's really about, but that's how I tend to. Oh, and I got this swish new phone look from. Well, I upgraded, but it's free, so I guess technically it's from the phone company. No, they didn't wrap it, but it's a full account. Except it's a pain because I'm expecting a text. But the phone, this new phone, hasn't activated as yet, so. Bit of a pain. Ah, there she is. Wow. That is a. I mean, yeah, that is. That. That's an actual turkey. Always tempted to put it on my head, like Mr. Bean in. In Mr. Bean. No, this is what I'm trying to explain, Hayley. Well, the point being, the fox would never eat the grains, same as you would never eat Thomas Lee. Yeah, Lee is the chicken. The dog is. Yes, the dog is another fox. And I'm the farmer and the driver and I'm beginning to see how he feels. Yeah, of course you can. I don't think people should sing about Snowman. Easy Targets. You've stopped crying. Bit better, isn't it? No, it's just. I think it'd be a shame to be crying at two different Christmas dinners in one day. No, don't talk like that. You love him. No, you shouldn't say that sort of stuff when there's black ice. I need to be able to concentrate. Can you check my phone, please? No, it's not in there. Not in there. It's not in there. It.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

No, that's not. That is a. That's nothing. It's. That's nothing. It's a present for, you know, some. Someone special. Yeah, it might be a girl. Yes, it. It's got H on it because. Yeah, her. Her. Her name might begin with H. Yes, it might. Yeah, it might be a candle. Yeah, it's it's certainly shaped. It might be. Could you put it down, please? Could I just leave it there, would you, please? For now. There's plenty of people. Begin with H. Hayley Hitler. Heidi Klum. Put that down. Think about what you're going to say to your husband. What? Why have I stopped? Mistletoe. Thank you. That's a very nice compliment. Right. No, no, I'm not. No, it's. I think it's got to be just the cheek. I'm sure it has, because we're sister in laws. You're my. Well, put it this way, it would be like Lady Diana getting off of Prince Andrew or Prince Edward between the years of 1981 and 1997. Just not a good idea. Does it make you feel bad, Mr. A? Just asking. Do you feel bad carving a turkey? Well, you're more of a man than me, I think. I mean, I have quite a vivid imagination, so I can sort of imagine it, you know, clucking. Yeah, but I just don't eat meat that's shaped like animals, if that makes any sense. I'll eat meat, but only if it's shaped like fingers or discs. Yeah, I'm basically the worst kind of vegetarian. No, she went upstairs. Just got a lot on her plate, I think. Where's Lee?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What? Well, you shouldn't put him in the garden. Well, because he could sober up indoors, couldn't he? I mean, you shouldn't put a boy in a garden. Yeah, but it's not a nightclub, is it? I mean. I mean, you've got to have more relaxed rules than a nightclub. Especially if it's your son in law. Especially at Christmas. No, No, I couldn't agree more, mate. I think it's bloody ott, to be honest. Okay, let's see the. Lose the shades, pop him back on. I would. I suppose the important thing is to get you sober enough that he's happy to have you in the house. Get us all sat around the one table. Don't try to speak, mate. You're chattering so much I think your teeth are gonna crumble. Look, I'm gonna try talking to Mrs. A, see if we can get you back in. No, no, Hayley's upstairs crying with the baby. I think I'm gonna need a drink to get through this. No, I'm not getting you one. Lee. If anything, you should be focusing on leaning against the shed. Yeah, she is. She's a cracker. She's a rescue dog. So. I mean, she's killed a cat. No, he's good. He's all good. He's quite cold out there. I mean, how sober do you think he has to be for your husband to okay him for dinner, in your experience? Yeah. One thing I was thinking. See, I can't drink because I've got to drive home later. I know. Yeah, it is, it is. It is a nightmare. But what I was going to almost ask is, well, could I maybe kip here just so then obviously I could tuck into some 250 milliliter bottles of Grolsh and, you know, be a bit looser for charades. Is it awkward? Right, but what if Lee was. I mean, what if he slept in Hayley's room with Hayley? Could I then have the sofa? Cool. Yeah, excellent. You think about it. Yes, I'll just. I mean, I don't need to drink to have fun, luckily. Can I just borrow your house phone before dinner, please? From my point of view, don't upgrade people if you can't follow it through. I've done that. I keep turning it off and on and hitting against my thigh, but it's not activating. I'm being patient. But I need my phone, you know? I mean, it's Christmas. It's a time for, you know, you just. I just want to be texting this person. Just. I want to text this girl Happy Christmas and she has no idea I'm between phones. So I'm. I'm looking like a right scrooge over here. I know. It's not your fault. It's the fault of the system, isn't it? Well, the guys who made the system. Why are you working on Christmas Day then? It's a shame. You've got a nice voice. Right, I better get back to it then. Oh, what's your name, please? In case I need to phone you up again.

[A]

What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[B]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[A]

Could you be more specific?

[B]

When it's cravenient.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at am, pm. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at am, pm.

[A]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[B]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I crave.

[A]

Which is anything from am pm.

[B]

What more could you want? Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. AM PM Too much. Good stuff.

[A]

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[C]

Ah. Ah.

[D]

No, nothing. Just. Story of my life, really. I think on my gravestone there ought to be just a picture of me holding the two short ends of crackers like a nelly. Anyone fancy splashing me a cracker toy? Yeah. Or a hat? Yeah, thanks, Mr. A. Well, I just need one, really. Mrs. Eh, well, thank you. Well, there we go. Three hats. I'll turn into a hat in a minute. I'm a bit like, who's a character who wore three hats? There may well not be one. Funny, innit? Just the three of us, Mr. A. Well, the thing is, you know, it's Lee and Haley's first Christmas together as man and, you know, his wife, so they should be, you know, physically, you know, actually together. They. Well, do you remember your first one together? Well, you know, were you locked in the garden? You all right, Hayley? I just wanted to say you should come down. It's very merry down there. Should I be watching him sucking that? No, I'm not watching. It's just as difficult to. It's like you're not supposed to watch car crashes, but people do. I'll face this way, it just seems to me that Lee should be at the Christmas dinner table. Sorry, sorry. I thought because I heard him crying, I thought I could turn around, but it's the opposite. I'm sorry, I saw them. What are you talking about? Of course you can cope. So Mary was a young mother. Mary Christ, Jesus mother. And she managed. Yeah, but you've got a Joseph Lee. Well, he might not be a carpenter, but he's a good man and he's trying to grow a beard. I still like the theory that the baby will bring you closer together. You've only had it a week. I mean, give it a chance. Well, then maybe the puppy will. Laughing. I know you do. You see, I love him too. I mean, he's wicked. I mean, at the very least, he shouldn't be treated like a. Well, stuffed in the yard like that. I mean, he's being treated like a. Like a goat, really. And I think if you just said to your old man, well, he likes you, so he'd most probably listen. Also, and this is just this, a minor point, but if you make up with Lee and then you let him sleep with you in here, well, then I'll be able to sleep on the sofa, which would. I mean, I could drink some 250 milliliter bottles of Grolsh then. So think. Think about that one. Do you want to perhaps put a top on and go down, negotiate Lee's release? I'll put the speaker thing on so we get an idea of how Thomas is. Can I please speak to Kitty Bonner? Thank you. Hello, it's Luke here. Luke? Yeah, my phone still isn't on. I think if you knew the situation, you'd try and help. Well, I said I'd text this girl and I really like her and she sort of implied that she likes me. Well, just by her actions. She kissed me on fireworks night, but she's. I mean, it's all hush, hush, you know, I don't want to jinx it like always. So I need my phone on so she doesn't think I'm a right numpty. Who? Sorry. Distracted. I'm just watching my nephew's grandfather doing a series of tests on my brother in the yard. Yeah, I think he's passing them. I mean, I don't know the layout of your offices, but if there's a way you could sort of literally go up some stairs to a manager's office or something, or a technician or something who can turn my phone on. Well, I mean, I don't know. I. I've probably watched too many Hollywood films. Yes. Yeah, if you could do your best. Yeah, that would be ideal. Well, this is a bit nicer, innit? Thanks for letting him in, Mr. A. You're a legend. It's like one big happy family now, isn't it? And I love the turkey, Mrs. A. And the potatoes and the carrots. I mean, well, all of it. The stuffing. Have I missed anything out? I think. I think nothing. The. I mean, I should have just said it's generally nice, but so well done. Ah, me, I think. Nah, it's all Right. I don't want to check it because it's rude and it's. I'll check it in a minute. Bad to have it on at dinner. What we talking about again? There's no one. No, it'll be the phone company. Just saying that the phone's activated. You know these radishes, they send a couple. Just saying. Just welcoming you on board. It is certainly no one misses A. I'm in the wrong for having it on. And Hayley, whose side are you on? I just. On that. That's just. They're checking. I'm settling in. Be over in a second. No, thank you, Mr. A. I don't think it is my new lover. For the simple reason I don't have. I don't have a lover. And if I did, I am. No, that's staying in my tracksuit. Top pocket, I think. Sit down, mate, please. Because it's. What I'm saying, it's a backlog. This will all be Christmas messages from the other chefs at the restaurant. Cause they'll be rude messages. I don't want to sit here reading stuff out that chefs have written. You'd regret that. Okay, well, if you get off, then I will read them. Right. Let me just read it to myself quickly. I'll go. I'll get it. Thank you so much, Kitty. I think I'm going to add you to my, you know, my Christmas heroes list. But. Well, yeah, there is one other sort of thing. It's. I thought I'd have more credit. I mean, I thought the credit would transfer over to my new phone. Yeah, she has. Yeah, she's texted and she even wants me to go over, I think. Well, listen, hello, boy racer. Fancy dropping by. Might be something nice for you to unwrap. H and then X. Lower. Two kisses. So she wants me to go over, doesn't she? I don't know. Does she? She does, I think. But then it could be games. I mean, I'd need to cross examine. I mean, I'd need to talk to her and I can't because. Credit, anyway, I couldn't get over because. Well, no, of course I can't. Well, dinner and then charades and then Dibley and then. I mean, which of those am I gonna miss to drive over to Little Downham? I mean. And anyway, I've got. No, I haven't got like my credit card and things because it's Christmas day, innit? And things like wallets don't really work the same way on. I never have it on me on Christmas, so I Can't text back something nice. Really? So there's no way. Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not asking for you to pay for it. I don't know what I'm asking for, but not that. Anyway, she texted, so. That's good, isn't it? Look, I've got to go. Happy Christmas. All right? Just the three of us again, then. Hardcore. Deleted them all from the phone company, so. Bureaucracy. Pointless, huh? What do you mean, Mr. A? No, but why did you call me boy racer? Oh.

[C]

Right.

[D]

I feel like I'm in the Truman Show a bit. Just trying to remember what I said. Yeah, it is. It is funny, Mrs. A. I got to a bit that. Don't tell Lee and Haley. Please don't. I'll tell them. Once it's a proper thing or once it's all just, you know, gone wrong. I'll tell them. Where are they? All right, guys. He's a live wire, isn't he? Shall I leave you guys to it then, shall I? Oh, that's. That's. That's great. So. So I can keep on the. The sofa. Right, well, that's. Yeah, I'll. That's. I'll go and get a 250 milliliter gross. Now then. And then I'll see you in the lounge. Or should I say charades stadium in a minute. It's better. Shall I pop your dummy there? Just thinking. Easier to look after you than your father. I wish there was a adult equivalent of a dummy. Stupid. Never will be. I've got credit. I've got bloody credit. Sorry, I think I was trying to high five you there. Let me tell you something, Thomas. Hang on. Let me just turn off your. Come here. Never give up hope. Do you know what I mean by that? No matter what. If you're just getting pissed about by. Sorry. I'm not very good talking to humans who, you know, don't talk back, you know. But I think it's good advice from one Warsaw to another. Never give up or never give up hope. I think I originally said, because they're out there and amongst the rubbish, there are angels. Yeah, I think someone. Order would have stopped me by now. I'm talking bollocks, most probably. Ah, kitty. Right, I'm gonna sneakily sneak. Sneak out now. And you might be thinking that's a bit selfish, but I've just got a text from someone unfortunate enough to be working on Christmas Day. And. And. And if she says I should leave, I mean. Well, it's like when the angel told the guys to Follow the star. I mean, they didn't know her from Adam, but they went with it, didn't they? I mean, I don't remember a wise man saying he wouldn't follow the star because he decided to play charades. Two syllables. Your ears. Someone with the ears. No, is it? Ah, well, there you go. Well, before my time, Mr. A. Before my time. Yeah, I won't. I'm actually. I think I'm gonna make a move. Sorry, Hayley. Where. Where do you want me to drive you to? Lee, are you going to. Do you know what? I think I'm going to have to say no. Because I think Christmas is a time for family, isn't it? I know that's a pretty trad thing to say, but I honestly believe that. So you shouldn't be playing poker with Macca. I don't think you should be here under your own tree. Yes, exactly, Lee. That's better. Lay into those roses and mime some bloody films. Also, I think I'm gonna jip off myself. Well, same reasons, really. I'm gonna go to Mum's, so. Yeah, sorry for that because it was. It was a no 1, so thanks for having me. All right, Mum? Yes, fine, thanks. I'm just phoning to. I'm just phoning to say that I'm. I think I'm going to keep here tonight. Mr. And Mrs. A don't mind. So. Yeah, I'm there now. No, I just said that they don't mind. No, you don't need to check up with them because I'm 31. Did Mr. Rossi come over? Are you watching Dibley? Yeah, it is. It is a nice Christmas.

[C]

Hi, Luke.

[D]

Luke, Holly. Sorry, I. I was just a bit shocked there. Throne, you know.

[C]

Well, you didn't expect me to answer. I've been sat waiting.

[D]

No, no, no, sorry. I. I just noticed in my mirror thingy I'm wearing three hats.

[C]

Why are you wearing three hats? You know.

[D]

Yeah, I know. Happy Christmas.

[C]

Sort of. I burnt my wrist because a load of fat sprayed out my turkey's back when I pierced it.

[D]

Are you okay?

[C]

Had my whole arm in a box full of ice cold water for dinner.

[D]

Oh, I got your texts.

[C]

Was your phone seriously off all that time?

[D]

Yeah, it's the phone companies.

[C]

I was trying to call you.

[D]

Luckily there was a girl called Kitty Bonner.

[C]

Did you have a nice day?

[D]

Yeah, good, actually. A bit logistically doing your show for it. Just a couple of them. Yeah.

[C]

You're a dick.

[D]

I got your text.

[C]

So have you had to stay sober then?

[D]

I've had one 250ml bottle of gross.

[C]

It was a bit cheeky asking, but.

[D]

Were you being serious, then? Do you want me to come over?

[C]

Yeah, I'd love you to, yeah. I'm just watching Dibly.

[D]

I'm going to come over.

[C]

Feel like a right sad.

[D]

Pause it. Can you pause live tv?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Cause Dibbly. We'll watch that together.

[C]

I've got that beer you like, if you want to stay over.

[D]

Definitely do Keno. I know. I just. You're lovely. Holly.

[C]

I've got a firework. I thought we could let it off, like before.

[D]

I've got one too.

[C]

Why?

[D]

In case I came round.

[C]

Presumptuous.

[D]

I don't know that word. I should get moving, then.

[C]

I'll put some more ice in my wok.

[D]

I'll see you in 10 minutes. She comes.