Amos & Andy 43-10-22 Courtroom Catastrophe

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Amos & Andy 43-10-22 Courtroom Catastrophe
Release Date: June 30, 2025

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Introduction

In this riveting episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, immersing themselves in the timeless antics of beloved characters Amos Jones and Andy Brown. The episode, titled "Courtroom Catastrophe," delves into a humorous yet insightful courtroom drama featuring the charismatic George Kingfish Stevens as he navigates the pitfalls of freedom of speech gone awry.

Setting the Stage: Trouble Brews

The episode opens with George Kingfish Stevens, affectionately known as Kingfish, in a state of distress. [00:58] Kingfish nervously confesses to Amos and Andy, "I can't, boys. I jammed up. I really in a mess. Oh, I. I tell you, I being sued." [01:05] This immediate challenge sets the tone for the ensuing comedic turmoil.

The Libel Lawsuit

Kingfish reveals he is being sued by Nifty Jackson for libel after publicly insulting him in a letter. [01:15] "I'm being sued by a fellow by the name of Nifty Jackson. And for no reason at all." [01:34] He lists his grievances against Nifty, including calling him a "crook, a loafer, a swindler and a bum," highlighting the humorous misuse of the First Amendment. Amos Jones questions the validity of his claims: "Do the Constitution allow you to say that?" [01:39]

Kingfish's Desperate Measures

Facing a $1,000 lawsuit, Kingfish strategizes with Amos and Andy on how to handle the case. [02:20] His initial plan involves hiring an alley lawyer, leading to a series of comedic missteps. The trio's interaction showcases their camaraderie and Kingfish's increasingly wild ideas to evade responsibility.

The Phony Diamond Scheme

In an attempt to raise funds for the lawyer, Kingfish proposes a deceptive plan involving his wife's diamond ring. [02:32] He cunningly orchestrates a scheme to replace the genuine diamond with a rhinestone from a local store. [04:34] "When did you do it?" asks Andy, prompting Kingfish to elaborate on the intricate details of his plan to deceive his wife, Sapphire Stevens. This subplot underscores the lengths to which Kingfish will go to avoid financial strain.

Consulting the Alley Lawyer

Kingfish meets with his shady attorney, revealing more layers to the plot. [05:26] The lawyer presents unconventional and morally dubious methods to drop the lawsuit, including instilling fear in the opposing counsel. "That's gonna take a lot of thought and time." [05:38] Kingfish, undeterred, decides to proceed with the aggressive approach, setting the stage for the ensuing chaos.

The Failed Bribery Attempt

As Kingfish prepares to intimidate Nifty's lawyer, the plan rapidly unravels. [07:37] Kingfish and Andy arrange a confrontational meeting at Sam's Lunchroom, intended to showcase his toughness. However, their attempt to appear menacing results in Kingfish getting physically overpowered. [11:08] "The Kingfish is opening his eyes now," observes Andy, signaling the collapse of their scheme.

Courtroom Antics and Judge Houston's Integrity

The narrative shifts to Judge Houston's courtroom, where Kingfish's case is underway. [14:25] Judge Houston delivers a stern reprimand to a defendant involved in bribery, emphasizing judicial integrity. Kingfish, leveraging this setting, attempts to bribe the judge directly. [17:04] However, his efforts are futile as Judge Houston remains incorruptible, exposing Kingfish's flawed tactics.

The Unexpected Twist: Arrested for Deception

In a surprising turn of events, Kingfish's deception catches up with him. As he believes his plan to bribe the judge has worked, authorities uncover his scheme to pawn his wife's diamond ring. [24:12] "A lady is having you arrested for pawning the stone out of her diamond ring," declares Amos, leading to Kingfish's abrupt downfall. His final realization underscores the moral lesson: "This has been a great lesson to me, Brother Andy. I ain't never gonna do nothing again that will get me in trouble with the law." [23:44]

Notable Quotes

• George Kingfish Stevens:

  • "[00:58] I can't, boys. I jammed up. I really in a mess. Oh, I. I tell you, I being sued."
  • "[01:15] I'm being sued by a fellow by the name of Nifty Jackson. And for no reason at all."
  • "[04:14] Yellow bad, huh?"
  • "[06:13] Well, I just can't afford it though."
  • "[10:35] Watch this. Mr. Nelson."
  • "[17:13] I haven't met a man like him."
  • "[23:44] This has been a great lesson to me, Brother Andy."

• Amos Jones:

  • "[01:39] Do the Constitution allow you to say that?"
  • "[12:03] Well, what wasn't fair about it? He was a head shorter than you was."
  • "[24:06] Come on, let's get out of here."

• Andy Brown:

  • "[02:10] Oh, that Nifty Jackson didn't have $1,000 worth of reputation to smirch up."
  • "[07:10] When do you start this one man reign of terror?"
  • "[11:58] Oh, me, I still could have licked that fella if it'd been a fair fight."

• Judge Houston:

  • "[14:38] Motion for a new trial denied..."
  • "[17:30] You mean to say that a judge..."
  • "[19:12] Well, that shouldn't be too hard."
  • "[23:06] So I say, in the case of Nifty Jackson versus Kingfish Stevens, the plaintiff has shown no evidence of libel."

Conclusion

"Courtroom Catastrophe" masterfully blends humor with sharp social commentary, illustrating the pitfalls of deceit and the unwavering nature of integrity. Through George Kingfish Stevens' tumultuous journey—from a misguided lawyer bribery scheme to his ultimate arrest—the episode delivers timeless lessons wrapped in engaging storytelling. Amos and Andy's dynamic interplay not only provides comedic relief but also highlights the enduring values of honesty and friendship.

Listeners are left both entertained and enlightened, reflecting on the consequences of one's actions and the importance of upholding justice. This episode stands as a testament to the golden age of radio, where storytelling and character development created memorable narratives that resonate across generations.

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Tune in next Friday evening for another installment of Amos & Andy, where new adventures and timeless lessons await. Until then, this is Harold Wilcox signing off, wishing you all a pleasant evening.

Transcript

[Harlow Wilcox]

Good evening. The makers of the new Rinso bring you the Amos and Andy show with their guest tonight, the star of stage and screen, Mr. Walter Hous. Well, trouble is nothing new to Amos and Andy or their friends. They're usually able to cope with almost anything that comes along. However, today, George Stevens, the Kingfish, seems to have run into a little extra trouble which appears to be more than he can handle. Right now he is in the office at the Lodge hall trying to explain it to him. Amos and Andy.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

No, boys, I tell you, I. I don't want to sit down. I'm too nervous. I'm too nervous.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, you sure is trembling.

[Andy Brown]

I. Take it easy, Kingfish.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I can't, boys. I jammed up. I really in a mess. Oh, I. I tell you, I being sued.

[Andy Brown]

What is you being sued for?

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, and who is doing it?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I'm being sued by a fellow by the name of Nifty Jackson. And for no reason at all. I was just exercising my rights as a citizen of. Of the United States of America to use freedom of speech. Yeah, I call him a crook, a loafer, a swindler and a bum. And the man is swindler.

[Andy Brown]

A crook, a loafer, a swindler and a bum.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah.

[Amos Jones]

Do the Constitution allow you to say that?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, there's freedom of speech, there's four freedoms and all that stuff. I only called him four.

[Amos Jones]

That's right.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

If I'd call him a thief on top of that, that made five freedoms. And the man got a kiss against me, you see.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, that's a dangerous thing to do. When did you do it?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Here's the whole story. A few weeks ago, I writ this fellow Nifty Jackson a letter. Now, in the letter, I called him those names, and now he's suing me for $1,000. He claim I done smirched up his reputation.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, that Nifty Jackson didn't have $1,000 worth of reputation to smirch up.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, that ain't what counts. Tell me, Kingfish, how is you gonna handle the case?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

By getting a lawyer. Oh, I gonna see the alley lawyer that hangs around back of the jail. I gonna see him.

[Amos Jones]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. He charges big money before he gonna give you any advice. Where you gonna get the dough to pay him?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Brother Ender, I think I got a great idea for dat. I is going home now. And, honey, your engagement ring don't sparkle like it oughta.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Well, what's the matter with that ring?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, that diamond used to look like the 20th Century Limited coming in at night. Now look at it. Not a twinkle, anything.

[Sapphire Stevens]

That's a beautiful diamond though, George.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, but the thing needs cleaning. Let me look at that. Yeah, look at that. That thing needs. Give me that ring. I'll take it over to the jeweler and I'll have him give that a good cleaning. I want my wife to sparkle like other women. Sparkle. There's nothing sloppier looking than dirty diamonds. Now look here, Honest Joe, you oughta give me more than $15 on dat stone.

[Honest Joe]

That's the top price, Kingfish. You see, the way we figures is on the color of em Blue white stones is worth the most. The plain white ones is fair. The yellow ones ain't so good.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yellow bad, huh? Mm. What color would you say this one is?

[Honest Joe]

Well, Kingfish, in the trade, this is what we call a jaundice diamond.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Or yellow. Huh?

[Honest Joe]

Yellow and cloudy. Even a yellow diamond, you're supposed to see the daylight through it. Fact is, Kingfish, looking at this again, I see it's muddy too.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, give me the $15. Just give me the $15. That'll make sense. Now look here, what I want you to do. On top of that, you take the stone out of the ring. Now, here is a rhinestone that I got at the 5 and 10 cent store. Put this in place of it, and I'll take it home to the little woman and put it back where it was.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, all right.

[Honest Joe]

I'll make the switch for you.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Tell me this. You think that my wife will notice the difference?

[Honest Joe]

Well, if she does, it's only because the rhinestone looks better than the diamond.

[Alley Lawyer]

Well, Kingfish is your lawyer. There's two ways you can settle this case.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Uh, what is there?

[Alley Lawyer]

Well, the first is to pay the man the thousand dollars.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I like the second way better.

[Alley Lawyer]

Well, I ain't told you what the second way is yet.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, whatever it is, I know I gonna like it better.

[Alley Lawyer]

Well, the second way is the result of some pretty heavy studying. I skimmed over several similar cases, looked over the whole legal aspect of the case. And it is my personal opinion as an attorney that there is a way that can't fail.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now you talking. Now, what is that? Tell me that.

[Alley Lawyer]

Well, scared to pass over to other lawyer. Scam so bad that he'll drop the suit against you, put fear in him. F, double E, R, fear.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, now, I don't know about that. That's gonna take a lot of thought and time. There's nothing else I could do, huh?

[Alley Lawyer]

Well, there is a third way. Oh, what's that the third way ain't included in the $15.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, see, the money that I paid you only includes two whales.

[Alley Lawyer]

Yeah, it runs approximately $7 and a half away. You see, the reason the third way runs into extra money is cause it's all post graduate stuff. Stuff I done learned after my diploma was framed and on the wall and everything.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, I just can't afford it though. But you know, come to think of it, that second way ain't bad at all. Put fear in the other lawyer. Yeah, that's just what I gonna do.

[Amos Jones]

What took you so long, Kingfish?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, after I went over to the pawn shop, I had to sneak back into my house without my wife seeing me and put the phony ring back in the jewel box where she keep it. And then I went to see the alley lawyer, you see.

[Amos Jones]

Oh yeah? Well, what did the alley lawyer tell you?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, well, my alley lawyer told me to put fear in the man.

[Amos Jones]

Fear?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah. You know, people is more scared of fear than anything.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah? Well, how is you gonna do it?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now look here. When I meet Sniffy Jackson's lawyer, I suppose to make him think that I is tough. A cold blooded mean tough guy. I suppose to make him think that if they don't drop that case against me, I liable to beat them both up.

[Amos Jones]

When do you start this one man reign of terror?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I starts raining right away. It just happens, Andy, that Mr. Jackson's lawyer, a man by the name of Mr. Nick Nelson, called me up and he wants to meet me at 4 o'clock this afternoon to see if I won't settle. That is when I go show him how tough I is.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah. Well, how can you make a man scared of you?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, it's going to be a sense, Andrew. I tell you what I going to do. Oh, wait a minute. Wait. Here's my man now. Come in here, Lightning.

[Andy Brown]

Why did you all see me? Brother Kingfish.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Lightning, for certain reasons I want to be a tough guy. I want you to find me a man that will let me punch him in the nose and I'll give him $2 for it.

[Andy Brown]

I'll let you punch me in the nose for $2.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

No, Lennon. I gotta leave friendship out of this. Get me a total stranger, A nice size fella. Can you do it?

[Andy Brown]

Ayasa.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now. Good. Now here's what I want you to do, Lightning. You know where Sam's lunchroom is. Aya, I'll be there at 4:30 on the dot. Me, Andy and a lawyer, Ayala. Now we'll sit down. So there'll be an empty stool next to me. Tell the man to sit down next to me on the empty stool and order a hamburger and have him saved with pickles, onions and mustard. I'll know it's him when I hear them words. And I'll pick a fight with him and I'll punch him in the nose.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, I'll get busy on it right now. And I'll have the man at the lunchroom at 4:30 sharp.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

O Caroline.

[Amos Jones]

Well, I sure hope everything work out all right, Kingfish.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, it can't miss, Brother Andy. The whole idea is foolproof. Punching the guy in the nose, scaring the pants off the other lawyer. Hocking my wife's diamond. By Andy, within a year, I bet they'll be teaching this stuff in every law school in the country.

[Amos Jones]

Hello, Sam's lunchroom.

[Andy Brown]

Is there a man sitting at the counter by the name of King Faith Stevens?

[Amos Jones]

No, ain't nobody here now. All the stools are empty.

[Andy Brown]

Well, I supposed have a man there for him at 4:30 sharp, but I couldn't find one for him today. But I'm sure I'll have one there for him tomorrow. Well, I tell you what I'll do. I'll call up the kingfish in about five minutes.

[Amos Jones]

Okay.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Go right on in, Mr. Nelson. Right on in.

[Amos Jones]

Well, I don't know why we're going into this lunchroom.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I don't want anything to eat.

[Amos Jones]

It won't take long. I'll sit on the end stool here. Kingfisher. Mr. Nelson, you sit next to me. And Kingfish, you sit down there.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Could we have two hamburgers, Sam?

[Amos Jones]

Okay.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Excuse me. I'll lean down here and tie my shoe.

[Amos Jones]

You know, Mr. Nelson, this kingfish is a tough guy. Anybody makes him mad across him he's a fighter from the word go.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

What are you fellas talking about? Just feeling my muscle in my right arm here. Gotta have this sleeve made bigger.

[Amos Jones]

Uh. Oh, here we go. Well, look at that. There's a fella sitting next to Kingfish.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

What do you have?

[Amos Jones]

One hamburger, please. One hamburger. Oh, put some pickle and onions and mustard on it for me, will you?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, Andy, we're right on schedule. Here I go. Say, bud, will you pass me that salt up here in front of us? Sure. Here you are. Pass the puppeteer.

[Amos Jones]

Okay, here it is.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Pass the ketchup.

[Amos Jones]

Ketchup? I. I don't see any ketchup.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Listen, I done took just about enough from you. Stand up.

[Amos Jones]

Watch this. Mr. Nelson.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

What's the matter? Put up your dukes. I'll show you. What's the matter? Take this here.

[Andy Brown]

Look, Andy. The Kingfish is opening his eyes now.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, me? Where is I?

[Andy Brown]

We brung you over here to your office, Kingfish. You was laying on the sofa.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, me, Every bone in my body aches.

[Amos Jones]

See if you can open that left eye of yours, Kingfish.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Who was that fellow that I got into fight with?

[Amos Jones]

He seemed to be a pretty nice fellow. He even helped us pick you off the floor and carry you over here.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, what did you put on my nose?

[Andy Brown]

Boys, we didn't put nothing on there.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

You mean that what I feel there is all nose.

[Amos Jones]

Every inch of it.

[Andy Brown]

Here, Kingfish, here's a piece of beefsteak I got you for your eye. Let's put it right on there now. That'll help take the swelling down.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, me, I still could have licked that fella if it'd been a fair fight.

[Amos Jones]

Well, what wasn't fair about it? He was a head shorter than you was.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, well, that's where he had advantage of me. You see, I had my arm up guarding myself like this. And he was so short that he got under my guard. And before I could get him from under there, I was on the floor.

[Amos Jones]

Well, Kingfish, that whole plan of yours was a flop.

[Andy Brown]

What is he gonna do about the lawsuit? Now, Kingfish?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Listen, boys, the alley lawyer has got a third way. Howard and I can handle the whole thing with the judge, but he won't tell me unless I give him $5 extra in advance.

[Andy Brown]

Well, I just ain't got it, Kingfish.

[Amos Jones]

And I is flat broke.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I gotta get $5 somewhere to find out how to handle this case. Listen, Amos, I tell you what you do. Go over to my wife. She's got some money that she's gonna give the landlord today. Ask her to let me have $5 of that. All right.

[Andy Brown]

I'll go over there and see what I can do. So you see, that's the whole story, Sapphire. The King face needs the money to pay a lawyer.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Well, I ain't got it. Amos Eisen already paid the landlord the rent this morning. And another thing, I ain't see the Kingfish. Where is he at? He didn't come home last night.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, he's all right. He was sort of stretched out on the sofa resting when I left him. He's been mixed up in a lot of things here lately.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Well, is he. Well, is he eating?

[Andy Brown]

Oh, yeah, he's eating all right. Fact is, the last time I seed him, he had his eye on a steak.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Well, Amos, I'D like to give him the five, but I just ain't got it. Wait a minute. I know what I'll do.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, Izzy got an idea.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Amos is at a time like this that a wife has got to stick by her husband no matter what the cost of the sacrifice is. I is going to raise the money for that lawyer.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, that's wonderful. How is he going to do it?

[Sapphire Stevens]

I was going out and pawn my diamond engagement.

[Amos Jones]

R.

[Harlow Wilcox]

It's been a busy morning in Judge Houston's court where the Kingfish will appear later in the afternoon. But right now, before the Kingfish's case comes up, the judge is concluding another case just prior to his noon recession.

[Judge Houston]

Motion for a new trial denied. James Edward Farrington, you as defendant in this case are entitled to no sympathy from this court. The crime for which you were originally brought here is insignificant compared to your attempt to alter the opinion of a court of justice through bribery. The sentence just imposed upon you for attempt at bribery is extremely severe. Let it stand as a lesson to those who are of the belief that judges and juries can be bought and sold like commodities in a public market. The judicial system of this country has built up a reputation for honesty and integrity over a period of many years. And as judge of this court, I am going to do everything in my power to do my part in preserving that reputation. Bailiff, take the prisoner away. Be a recess for lunch. Court will reconvene at 2:30.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Are you going to lunch, Judge Houston?

[Judge Houston]

No, I'm just going to have a glass of milk. This last case has upset me somewhat. I have a little headache. I think I'll go over to the park and sit down on a bench and get a little fresh air. There's nothing that infuriates me like a man trying to bribe somebody.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, let's sit down on this park bench here. Brother Andy. Yeah.

[Amos Jones]

You got about 45 minutes before you got to go to Cote.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah. It's all prepared though. Like I told you, the alley lawyer told me all that stuff how to handle Judge Houston. You know, he's the judge that's gonna handle my case.

[Amos Jones]

Tell me this. How did you raise that $5 to pay the alley lawyer?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, one of the brothers Lodge all in my Harrod. Well, I was all set to take care of this Judge Houston. I got the box of cigars in the mall and a couple of bucks in my pocket.

[Judge Houston]

Do one of your men have a match?

[Amos Jones]

Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. I think I got one here.

[Judge Houston]

Thank you very much. Thank you. Mind If I sit down here?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, no, move over there.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah.

[Judge Houston]

Where you boys from?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

We live up around 125th Street.

[Amos Jones]

Yes, my friend here, the Kingfish, is waiting to go into a coat over there.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah. Going over to Judge Houston's coat.

[Judge Houston]

Oh, is that so?

[Amos Jones]

Ain't gonna take long though, I guess.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

No, it ain't gonna take as long. Cause I knew exactly how to handle that judge.

[Judge Houston]

No, you do.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh.

[Judge Houston]

Well, how do you handle Judge Houston?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, first of all, I got a box of cigars here. I gonna slip him damn little bribery stuff, you know. That's what I gonna do.

[Amos Jones]

And only 5 cent cigars too. Plenty good enough for him.

[Judge Houston]

5 cent cigars. I suppose you saved the 10 cent ones for the Supreme Court cases.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, sure, yeah. And another thing, if the cigars don't work, why, we got a few bucks in cash for the judge.

[Judge Houston]

You mean to say that a judge. Let's say for instance, this Judge Houston can be bought?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that he can be bought, but he certainly can't be rented. I know.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, yeah, yeah. These days you can get two.

[Judge Houston]

Well, that's very, very interesting. Tell me more. How would you. Well, how would you reach Judge Houston?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, that ain't hard at all. Judge Houston reaches awful easy.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, our lawyer told us all about how to handle it.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Judge Houston ain't no more to us, nobody else is. He's just as crooked as the others, you know.

[Judge Houston]

Oh, this Judge Houston is a crooked judge.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, yeah. So he stuffed his own ballot boxes. That's how Judge Houston got elected.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Yeah.

[Amos Jones]

That man is crooked as a snake. You know, he wears one of them long black gowns in the court. They tell us somebody hand him a box of cigars, a couple pounds of steak, a few dollars. All I gotta do is shove it under that gown. Ain't nobody gonna see it.

[Judge Houston]

I see. That's. That's what those gowns are for. They sort of make things disappear.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, you know them too. When you get a judge like Houston, I'll tell you.

[Judge Houston]

Well, I still don't see how you expect to. To do something like that in a court.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, as a cinch, the most important thing is. Wait a minute. Look, I'll show you just how we work it. Just how we bribe the judge.

[Judge Houston]

Yes, I'm glad to know these things.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now, let's suppose that this is the courtroom right here. And we'll use this bench we're sitting on here for the judge's bench. And you can just stand here and kind of watch this thing. Now you, mister, can you make believe you as Judge Houston?

[Judge Houston]

Well, that shouldn't be too hard.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Okay then, the trial is just starting.

[Amos Jones]

Well, now, wait a minute, wait a minute. You got to get on the stand, king face.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, all right, mister, you play like you Judge Houston. Now, you asked me to get on the stand. My name is George Kingfish Stevens.

[Judge Houston]

All right, Will the defendant, George Kingfish Stevens please take the stand?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah. Now, oh, wait, don't take the thing too serious.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, after all, we just talking the thing over here, miss.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now, I was in the chair on the witness stand. Now, I leans over to you and I say, hiya, Judge. Then I say to you, listen, Houston old boy, can I come behind the bench there and speak to your private conferential and under your hat? Now, as the judge, you say something back to me.

[Judge Houston]

You know, anything you have to say to me, you can say it to this court.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, wait a minute. Mercy, you can't talk that way. Just a minute. Look here, you see what I trying to do? I trying to show you something. Now you were supposed to act like you was Judge Houston. I don't think you get the idea of what we're trying to do here.

[Amos Jones]

No, no, you don't get the idea, mister.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now be more natural. Now look, I gonna say to you here, now. I say now. All right. Now, I want the witness stand and you sitting on the judge's bench. I say to you, I say, judge, old boy. Uh, Judge, I got a little package here for you. Now give me an answer to that.

[Judge Houston]

And I'll show you Any package that you have that has any bearing on this case can be opened in front of the court.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah. Will you see Judge? Oh, wait a minute, Melissa, wait a minute. You can't hold up. You can't talk that way.

[Judge Houston]

But there again I feel that that's what a judge might say.

[Amos Jones]

You do, huh?

[Judge Houston]

Oh, I see someone coming for me. It looks like I might have to be running along.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, see you again soon.

[Judge Houston]

Yes, we may meet again very soon.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Excuse me a second.

[Judge Houston]

I hate to bother you, but there's.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

A long distance call and the operator says it's person to person for you, Judge Houston.

[Judge Houston]

All right, I'll take it. Goodbye, boys.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

And.

[Amos Jones]

What?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

You remember the man that was sitting here on the bench with us?

[Amos Jones]

Yeah.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Remember the man that walked up to him?

[Amos Jones]

Yeah.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

When he walked up to him, think now, Andy, did he call him? No, I ain't gonna eat mash it. That's cause I knew him. That'd be a 7 million to one shot. That's the biggest coincidence ever happened in the world. Now, look here. The man was sitting here right now. Another man walked up to him.

[Amos Jones]

Ain't no question about that.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

You heard every word he said. Injun?

[Amos Jones]

Yeah.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

When he walked up and told him about the long distance telephone, did he call him? Something that started out with the letter H?

[Amos Jones]

Yeah.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now listen, Andy. Think good. Pull all your brains together in one lump. I gonna ask you something. Did he call him?

[Judge Houston]

So I say, in the case of Nifty Jackson versus Kingfish Stevens, the plaintiff has shown no evidence of libel. A mere letter mailed in a sealed envelope to the plaintiff does not constitute libel in the eyes of the law. The case is dismissed. Before I adjourn court, I would like to say something purely for the benefit of the defendant. A black robe worn by a jurist is a symbol of justice. It is never worn to hide anything. Court adjourned.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Andy. Brother Andy. Where is your.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Andy?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Come over here.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, Andy. It's over, Brother Andy. It's over. Put it there. Yeah.

[Amos Jones]

And I'm gonna tell you something, King Fish. I want to tell you that Judge Houston sure was fair with you.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, I say it was fair. And I ain't never been this scared before in my life after what we done said to him in the park. Yeah. Oh, this has been a great lesson to me, Brother Andy. I ain't never gonna do nothing again that will get me in trouble with the law. My skirts is clean, and, boy, I. I gonna keep them that way.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah. Well, put it there. Put it there.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Put it there.

[Amos Jones]

Come on, let's get out of here. Pardon me just a minute. Are you George Stephens, the Kingfish?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, yeah. So that's right. Ijoy Stevens. What you want to do, take my picture or something for the newspaper?

[Amos Jones]

No. I have a warrant here for your arrest. A lady is having you arrested for pawning the stone out of her diamond ring.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Wait a minute. That ain't no lady. That's my wife.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Be sure to be with us again next Friday evening at this same time when the makers of Rinseau again bring you the Amos and Andy show, at which time Amos and Andy will have as their guest the fine picture actor, Mr. Franklin Pangborn. Meantime, this is Harlow Wilcox speaking for all of us, thanking Walter Houston for appearing with us tonight and bidding all of you a pleasant.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

J.