Amos & Andy 43-12-10 Bookends and Babies

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Amos & Andy 43-12-10: "Bookends and Babies"

Harold's Old Time Radio — January 16, 2026
Guest Star: Ginger Rogers

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Episode Overview

This classic episode of Amos & Andy wittily explores a case of comical misunderstandings around gifts, gossip, and babies. Special guest Ginger Rogers joins the cast as a spirited department store sales clerk, and the plot careens from bookend sales to a widespread (and incorrect) rumor about an impending baby in Harlem. The episode blends farce, slapstick, and rapid-fire banter, offering a slice of 1940s American radio comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

1. Department Store Dealings & Ginger Rogers' Cameo

• Setting: Pritchard’s Department Store Gift Counter
• Mrs. Henry Van Porter searches for bookends as a gift for Andy, assisted by the vivacious sales girl, played by Ginger Rogers.
• Rogers banters humorously about store merchandise and challenges with delivery — “Our truck driver’s getting a permanent wave today. She may be a little late.” (01:50, Ginger Rogers)
• Bookends are purchased and sent to Andy.

2. Andy’s Job Prospects and Reluctance Toward Gift

• Andy is excited about his incoming job at Harlem Hospital (starting Jan 1), but skeptical advice from Kingfish abounds:
  • “Seven o’ clock was never meant for a getting up hour. The only reason they got that number 7 printed on the clock is so there won't be no blank space between six and eight.” (03:06, Kingfish)
• Andy receives the bookends as a thank-you for helping with an insurance sale. He immediately schemes to return them, admitting, “There’s one thing that I hate. It’s bookends.” (04:33, Andy)

3. A Comic Chain of Bartering and Swapping

• Andy’s attempt to return the bookends at the store fails, especially when Mrs. Van Porter arrives mid-exchange, overhearing Andy’s awkward fib about wanting “three more pair.” (06:02)
• Kingfish suggests trying the swap shop; the market for bookends evaporates when Andy wants to sell, and he ends up trading all four pairs for a beat-up baby buggy, plus $2 swapping charge.
  • “A quarter horsepower? What does that mean?” — Andy learning about electric motors (07:42)
  • “That market sure got flooded fast, didn’t it?” (07:22, Andy)

4. The Great Baby Misunderstanding

• While Andy and Kingfish attempt to flip the baby buggy, a mix-up begins:
  • Lightning is asked to "watch the baby buggy," and passersby (and later, all of Harlem) misinterpret this as news that the Crawfords are expecting a baby.
  • “Except the Crawfords is gonna have a baby.” (11:14, Lightning spreads the rumor)
  • Wild gossip ensues, culminating in plans for a surprise baby shower.

5. Chaos at the Baby Shower

• The entire community chips in for a secret baby shower, with Andy proud to re-gift the baby buggy as a present.
• The scene at Pritchard’s baby department is ripe with absurdities. Ginger Rogers, now reassigned to baby clothes, confesses she's as clueless as her customers:
  • “That's too bad, because I'd like to know what it is myself.” (16:00, Ginger Rogers, on the bassinet)
  • Claiming to be a mother of “six… no, seven” for sales credibility, she spins more tall tales.
• Rogers manipulates Andy and Kingfish into buying another baby buggy, invoking dramatic guilt about “two babies and one buggy.”
  • “And if you don’t buy this baby buggy, why, just think of what people will say.” (20:28, Ginger Rogers)

6. The Truth Revealed—and the Final Twist

• At the shower, the Crawfords arrive genuinely baffled.
  • “We are not having any baby.” (23:06, Lightning [Brother Crawford])
  • Andy and Kingfish, mortified, realize the folly.
• In a final comic cycle, Andy returns to the swap shop… only to discover his “grab box” prize is yet again four pairs of bookends.
  • “There’s them four pair of bookends again. High as Reg.” (24:32, Andy)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Department store banter:
  • “The way the women went for those things, you’d have thought Frank Sinatra came with every frame in person.” (02:02, Ginger Rogers)
• On morning work hours:
  • “The only reason they got that number 7 printed on the clock is so there won't be no blank space between six and eight.” (03:06, Kingfish)
• On unwanted gifts:
  • “There’s one thing that I hate. It’s bookends.” (04:33, Andy)
• Cascading rumor:
  • “Except the Crawfords is gonna have a baby.” (11:14, Lightning)
• Bassinet confusion:
  • “That's too bad, because I'd like to know what it is myself.” (16:00, Ginger Rogers)
• Ginger’s failed baby expertise:
  • “Well, the babies are so much younger than I am that we don't have very much in common. I love the rascals, all seven of them.” (16:56, Ginger Rogers)
• On buying another buggy:
  • “And if you don’t buy this baby buggy, why, just think of what people will say.” (20:28, Ginger Rogers)
• Comic reversal:
  • “There’s them four pair of bookends again. High as Reg.” (24:32, Andy)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:05 – 02:19: Mrs. Van Porter buys bookends from Ginger Rogers at Pritchard’s.
• 02:19 – 04:55: Andy receives bookends, schemes to return them; Kingfish’s banter.
• 04:55 – 06:21: Bookend exchange attempt leads to comedic mishaps.
• 06:21 – 09:12: Swap shop scene; bookends traded for a baby buggy.
• 10:39 – 11:24: Lightning spreads the baby rumor.
• 12:49 – 13:46: Plans for a surprise baby shower and gift buying.
• 13:46 – 19:04: Pritchard’s baby department; Ginger Rogers' faux-expertise and sales tactics.
• 20:50 – 23:13: The chaotic, mistaken baby shower.
• 24:01 – 24:32: Andy’s final “swap”—the return of the bookends.

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, built on classic 1940s radio humor with wordplay, comical misunderstandings, and social satire. Ginger Rogers gamely lampoons herself as a clueless-but-plucky clerk. Andy and Kingfish’s chemistry and banter prompt much of the situational comedy.

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For New Listeners

You’ll get a full helping of classic radio comedy: quick-witted repartee, contagious misunderstandings, and the warmth of community—albeit very misguided—endeavoring to do good, only to end up in their typical pickle. The guest performance by Ginger Rogers is a highlight, blending Hollywood glam with self-effacing humor, and the episode’s final twist brings the plot hilariously full circle.

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Transcript

[Narrator]

Good evening. The makers of the new Rinso bring you the Amos and Andy show with their guest tonight, the lovely star of the new RKO radio picture, Tender Comrade, Miss Ginger Rogers. Amos and Andy's theme is the perfect every Friday night. Now, my theme for tonight is Rinso certainly gets around. However, Amos and Andy are ready and waiting. And here they come with their guest, Miss Ginger Rogers. Our story opens tonight not with Amos and Andy up in Harlem, but in Pritchard's Department store downtown. We find Mrs. Henry Van Porter walking down one of the aisles, approaching the gift department. Behind the counter is the sales girl, Miss Ginger Rogers.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Something I can do for you?

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

I was looking for a pair of bookends. Something not too gaudy and yet smart and chick. Has you got anything for a dollar?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, yes, we have these glass ones here. They're on sale at a dollar.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Oh, yes. Yes, they is. Charming, ain't they?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

They're a very good value. They're made by a very fine firm in San Diego.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Oh, imported. I'll take a pair of them, please.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

All right, that'll be a $3. Do you wish to take them with you?

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

No, this is a sin. I want them wrapped as a gift and sent to Mr. Andrew H. Brown at this address here.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Fine. I'll see that it gets in the afternoon delivery.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

What time should that arrive there?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, I'm not sure. Our truck driver's getting a permanent wave today. She may be a little late.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

By the way, has you got any more of them plastic picture frames that you advertised last week?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Not a one of them left. The way the women went for those things, you'd have thought Frank Sinatra came with every frame in person. But we've got a new shipment coming in tomorrow morning, so be sure to be here early.

[Andy]

So, Kingfish, I started on a regular job. Brother Crawford done got it for me and I'm going to work.

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, I wouldn't feel too bad about the thing. You might get a break and get fired at the end of the first week.

[Andy]

No, no, there ain't no chance of that. And what's more, I is really anxious to start on this job.

[Kingfish]

When is you supposed to start, Andy? When does it happen?

[Andy]

January 1st. I starts in the supply department at the Harlem Hospital.

[Kingfish]

Oh, well, by that time, you'll be yourself again. I guarantee that by January 1st, this whole crazy feeling will leave you and go away.

[Andy]

Wait a minute, Kingfish. I don't want it to go away. Other people's goes to work. And I'm gonna try it too.

[Kingfish]

Anna, do you know what you is letting yourself in for? Do you know that if you takes a job, you liable to have to get up at 7:00 every morning?

[Andy]

Well, what's wrong with that? Other people do it.

[Kingfish]

Listen, brother. And a seven o' clock was never meant for a getting up hour. The only reason they got that number 7 printed on the clock. Yeah, so there won't be no blank spades between six and eight. That's why the question.

[Andy]

Kingfish, all I gotta say is that I has done decided to take this job now. Brother Crawford done got it for me through a friend of his at the Harlem Hospital. And it's a good job. And, well, I'm going to work January 1st.

[Kingfish]

Well, and I guess you know what you're doing. I just hope that you ain't doing all this on the repulse of the minute, that's all I hope.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, you see, Kingfish, I wait. Come in, Lightning.

[Kingfish]

Hi there, Lightning.

[Lightning]

Ms. Andy, this package come for you over at the Lodge Hall.

[Andy]

Oh, thank you, Lightning.

[Lightning]

I wonder what's in it.

[Andy]

Well, don't crowd me, Lightning. Yeah.

[Kingfish]

Stand back, Lightning. Me and Andy can open it.

[Andy]

A pair of bookends.

[Lightning]

Bookends? What are they for, Ms. Andy?

[Andy]

Well, to keep books from falling down.

[Lightning]

Oh, that was a good invention, all right.

[Andy]

Here's the card. Thanks for everything, Mrs. Henry Van Pooter.

[Kingfish]

What you thanking you for, Andrew?

[Andy]

Oh, I kind of helped Henry to sell an insurance policy.

[Kingfish]

What in the world is you going to do with glass bookends then?

[Andy]

Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Confidentially and under your hat, and just between the two of us, I'm going to try to get the money back on him.

[Kingfish]

Oh, he's going to exchange him, huh?

[Andy]

Yeah. You know, there's one thing that I hate. It's bookends.

[Kingfish]

Well, you was right in taking back this present. You ain't got no use for bookends, do you?

[Andy]

Nah. Kind of like a sandwich without nothing between the bread. Of course, I could keep my funny papers in between them, but that'd look like I was trying to put on the dog.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that's landed on heavy already.

[Andy]

Yeah. Tell you what, fellas. I'm going down to Pritchard's Department Store and change these things right now. I'll see you later. Pardon me, miss. I'd like to exchange these bookends.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

And what's wrong with them?

[Andy]

I ain't got no book.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Oh, I see. Were these a gift?

[Andy]

Yes, ma'. Am. Mrs. Van Poer sent them to me.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Oh, yes. Now, you're sure you don't want these? After all, they're imported from San Diego.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, far as I was returned, they can send them back on the next boat.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, you see, on sales merchandise.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Hello there.

[Andy]

And hello. Hello, Mrs. Van Poter.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

What are you doing here? Aren't those the bookends I bought here for you yesterday?

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. You did give me these. I was just telling the sales lady here. How crazy I is about him. And did I want to buy three more pair.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

But you said you wanted to get.

[Andy]

No, I say I want to get three more pair, miss.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, I guess the customer is always right.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Go ahead, miss. I'll stand here till you finish waiting on him.

[Kingfish]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So here I is now, Kingfish, with four pair of bookings.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, they're really piling up on you, ain't they? They wouldn't give you your money back at the store, huh?

[Andy]

No. I hid in the men's shoe department until Mrs. Van Poter left. Then I went over there and tried to get my money back.

[Kingfish]

Well, what'd they say?

[Andy]

They say it was all sale merchandise. And when that stuff go out, it stays out.

[Kingfish]

Well, don't worry, Ander. I think everything gonna turn out all right for you.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, it sure is nice of you to bring me over to this swap shop here, Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, I'm glad to do it, Andy. Come on, let's go on in. Yeah. How you there, Sam?

[Sam]

Hello, King Face.

[Kingfish]

Sam, my friend here, Mrs. Brown wants to talk to you about some bookends.

[Sam]

Well, bookends is pretty hard to get these days. You just can't find them. But I'll let you have a couple of pairs. $3 a pair.

[Andy]

No, no. Oh, no, I don't want to buy none. I want to sell you some.

[Sam]

Oh, well, in that case, the market is flooded with them. Tell you what I'll do. I'll give you 10 cents paraform.

[Andy]

That market show got flooded fast, didn't it?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that was a wave that come up there on this thing.

[Sam]

Well, to tell you the truth, Kingfish, I'd rather swap stuff than to buy things for cash.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, why don't you swap me for these four pair of bookends?

[Sam]

Well, let me see now. Let me see what you might be able to use here. Now, how about this electric motor here? 1/4 horsepower.

[Andy]

Quarter horsepower? What does that mean?

[Sam]

Well, electrical speaking, it means that it generates the power of A quarter of a horse.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah. Kind of like a horse kicking with one leg, huh?

[Sam]

That's right.

[Andy]

What could I use the motor for?

[Sam]

Oh, you can use a motor for hundreds of things.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, what would one thing be?

[Sam]

Well, one thing is you. Well, a motor is good to have in case you want to make something gold.

[Andy]

Well, right now I ain't got nothing that needs going.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, Andy, if you ain't got nothing that needs going, then you sure don't need nothing to make it go with.

[Sam]

But how about a tennis racket?

[Andy]

How would you put the motor on it? Oh, no.

[Sam]

Just a plain tennis racket. It's still got most of the strings in it.

[Andy]

Would you take that, Kingfisher? Yeah. No, no.

[Sam]

Look here, how about a gas heater?

[Andy]

No, no, I ain't got no gas in my room.

[Sam]

Well, could you use a baby buggy?

[Andy]

Now, wait a minute. Don't be silly.

[Kingfish]

Oh, hey, Andy, wait a minute.

[Andy]

You could use a baby buggy. Now, wait a minute. King Fish.

[Kingfish]

Wheel out the buggy. Sam, it's.

[Andy]

Listen, King Fish.

[Kingfish]

Shut up. Pardon the dear. Give the man the bookend.

[Andy]

Okay, okay. Here you is, Sam.

[Sam]

And that'll be $2 swapping charges.

[Andy]

Oh, $2, huh? All right. Anything to get rid of them bookends. Here you is. Thank you.

[Kingfish]

Bring the baby bug in. Come on, Andy.

[Andy]

Okay. Now, listen, Kingfisher. What is I gonna do with a baby buggy?

[Kingfish]

Now, look here. We done made a great deal, and I was talking to Slim Johnson last night, and him and his wife has been looking high and low for a used baby buggy. I think they'll pay as high as $8 for it.

[Andy]

Well, this thing ain't in too good a shape.

[Kingfish]

Come on, Andy, we'll call up Slim. There's a phone in this cigar store right here.

[Andy]

Okay. Well, hey, look here. There's Brother Crawford standing in front of the cigar store.

[Kingfish]

Oh, there. Hello there, Brother Crawford. How is you?

[Lightning]

Well, hello there, boys. What are you doing here?

[Andy]

Oh, we was just down to the. And got this baby buggy that we're going to try to sell to somebody. Say, by the way, Brother Crawford, I want to thank you for getting me that job. And someday I'm going to do something for you.

[Lightning]

Yes, Andy, I'm glad you will.

[Kingfish]

Yes. Andy tells me here that it's going to happen January 1st at the Harlem Hospital.

[Lightning]

That's right. But don't thank me, Andy. My wife suggested that I recommend you for the job. She suggested that the day before she left to visit her mother.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, See? What is you hanging around here for, Brother Crawford?

[Lightning]

I am waiting for somebody. I'm a little early.

[Andy]

Well, listen, Brother Crawford, we got to go inside here and make a phone call. Would you mind keeping your eye on this baby buggy for a second?

[Lightning]

No, not if you're not too long.

[Andy]

Well, I gotta be running along now, Amos. Nothing else new, huh?

[Lightning]

No, except I was riding along on the streetcar this morning and I see Brother Crawford standing in front of a cigar store with a baby buggy.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Me and the Kingfish run into him there.

[Lightning]

Tell me, Andy, when is it gonna happen?

[Andy]

January 1st at the Harlem Hospital.

[Lightning]

Well, I sure glad to hear that.

[Kingfish]

Is it a secret?

[Andy]

No, no. You can tell anybody you want it. Spread the good news all around. So long, Amy.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

What', town, Amos?

[Lightning]

Oh, nothing much. Except the Crawfords is going to have a baby.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

A baby?

[Kingfish]

When?

[Lightning]

January 1st, at the Harlem Hospital.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Well, Sapphire, just between you and me, the Crawfords is going to have a blessed event. No.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Brother Andy, I just heard big news.

[Andy]

Yeah, what is the news, Kingfish?

[Kingfish]

The Crawford is gonna have a baby.

[Andy]

Well, why is it that I is always the last one to hear about something like that?

[Kingfish]

Yes, sir, My wife told me it's gonna happen around January 1st at the Harlem Hospital.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, now that show is a coincidence. You know, I'm gonna start working in that same hospital on that same day.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, be careful, Andy. And don't let the baby see you working. No use letting a young baby get a shot. Like.

[Narrator]

After Brother Crawford was seen standing on the corner watching the baby buggy for Andy, who had received it in exchange for his bookends at the swap shop. Word spread like wildfire through Harlem that the Crawfords are having a baby. That's what Andy and the Kingfish are discussing now in Andy's office.

[Kingfish]

So, Andy, when I hear that Brother Crawford's wife was driving home tonight from visiting the kinfolks, I told my wife I thought it'd be nice if we all got together and give the Crawfords a surprise baby shower.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I was back at the thing 100% kingfish. After all, the Crawfords was pretty nice to me, getting that job for me. Yeah, I figure I kind of ought to. Zip. Okay. When. When is the shower gonna be tonight?

[Kingfish]

Andy, the battle acts that we ought to work fast on the thing. She done told everybody not to say nothing about it.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, wait a minute. The shower gonna be tonight? I better hurry up and get a present. Come on, we'll shoot Downtown to pritchard's department store.

[Kingfish]

Well, wait a minute, slim. Back out on the deal. Why don't you give Crawfords the baby buggy?

[Andy]

Oh, no. I'm gonna buy him something brand new.

[Kingfish]

Come on.

[Andy]

Go right in, Ms. Rogers. Mr. Pritchard is expecting you.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Thank you.

[Mr. Pritchard]

Oh, come in, miss Rogers. Yes, sit down.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Thank you.

[Mr. Pritchard]

How long have you been with our organization, Ms. Rogers? Two years.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Two years? Why, surely, Mr. Pritchard, you remember 1938, when I was the girl who won the pritchard award for customer approach, fourth floor rear.

[Mr. Pritchard]

Yes, of course. Well, I just wanted to tell you, Ms. Rogers, that starting today, you are leaving bookends and bric a brac and going into baby clothes.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Baby clothes?

[Narrator]

Yes.

[Mr. Pritchard]

The reason we have to make the transfer is this, Ms. Rogers. Our bookend and bric a brac business has fallen off due to priorities. While on the other hand, baby clothes.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Oh, I know the stork doesn't need a priority. He just comes in on a wing and a prayer. But, gee, Mr. Pritchard, I don't know anything about baby clothes.

[Mr. Pritchard]

I realize that. That's why I want you to go up there as soon as possible and acquaint yourself with the stock sizes and all that.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, I'll do the best I can.

[Mr. Pritchard]

Oh, and one more thing, miss rogers. It might be advisable for you to leave the impression with your customers that you are a mother with children of your own.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Now, wait a minute. Don't you think enough has happened to me for one day?

[Mr. Pritchard]

Yes, but the customers seem to place more value in the advice of someone with experience.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Okay. Maybe the change will be good for me. At least I'll meet some new faces.

[Andy]

Uh, miss, can you take care of us?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

No, you don't. If you're bringing back bookends, go down to the first floor.

[Kingfish]

Uh, no, ma'. Am. No, no, no, miss, that ain't it. We want something for a baby.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Oh, for a baby. Well, well, let's see what we've got here. Now, how about something like this?

[Andy]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's pretty, all right.

[Kingfish]

That sure is. Look at that. That is pretty.

[Andy]

Yeah, Every baby ought to have one of them. I'll say. Yeah. What is it?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Do you mean to say you don't know what this is?

[Kingfish]

No, ma'. Am. No, I don't know what is, neither.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, you've seen babies before, haven't you?

[Andy]

Oh, sure. Yeah, we see babies, all right.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

And you have no idea at all what this thing is?

[Andy]

No, ma'.

[Mr. Pritchard]

Am.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

That's Too bad, because I like to know what it is myself.

[Andy]

Well, look here. Look here. It say here on the sign. Yeah.

[Kingfish]

Read that out loud.

[Andy]

What it say there? B A S. Bassinet.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Yeah.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Now, what's a bassinet?

[Kingfish]

Well, it look like here to me. It's just a plain wicker basket with.

[Andy]

Some pink silk lining in it there. Yeah, I guess that's for a little girl around 5 years old. Maybe she delivers her mother's washing in it.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, they sure do sort them out young, don't they?

[Andy]

Yeah. Excuse me, miss, but as you show you was the right person to wait on us. Seem like to me that you don't know much about babies or what they wear.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Are you kidding? I've got children of my own. Six of them. Yeah, I forgot for a moment.

[Andy]

Oh, you forgot you had them?

[Kingfish]

Yeah. That ain't the type of thing that usually slips a mother's mind, is it?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, the babies are so much younger than I am that we don't have very much in common. I love the rascals, all seven of them.

[Andy]

Seven? You say you had six?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, their father's a rascal too. Now, come on, let's get going. How old is the baby you want something for?

[Andy]

Well, you see, Mercy, it ain't born yet. Some friends of ours is gonna have a baby and we're giving them a baby shower. We want to get something though that the baby will be able to use right after it's born.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, how about this kiddie car here? That would be just the thing. I can still see my little girl Gwendolyn, when she was only two weeks old, whizzing around the block in one.

[Kingfish]

Of those kiddie cars, you say? Whizzing around the block and just when she was.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Remarkable child.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I guess I is a little old fashioned, but I kind of had an idea that all babies stayed in bed for the first four, five months.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

That just shows how much guys know about babies.

[Andy]

Yes. Well, how old is your little girl?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Gwendolyn is just past three.

[Andy]

Just about ready to drive her own car by now.

[Kingfish]

Say, this little sweater here. My be something. I wonder what size we ought to get in that.

[Andy]

Well, it's going to be for a newborn baby. I guess it would depend on the weight. How much do newborn babies weigh, miss?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, they usually run around eight or nine pounds.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, what size you think we ought to take then?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

I'll. I'll figure it out for you. I weigh 120 and I take a size 36. I'll do a little dividing here. Now, If I weighing 60 pounds, that'd be half of 36. I'd take an eight. 18, 30 pounds would take a nine. 15 pounds, four and a half. Yep. Think that does it.

[Kingfish]

What size should we take?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Two and seven tenths.

[Kingfish]

All right, then we'll take one of them.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

I'll give it to you right now. Let me see here. There's ones, fours, threes, twos. I'm sorry. We're all out of 2 and 7, 10.

[Andy]

This is going to be some shower we give it right now. It looked more like a drizzle.

[Kingfish]

Now.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Now, look here. The store is going to close in five minutes. And I've got a heavy date tonight. So if you're going to get a gift for that baby, you better hurry up.

[Andy]

Yes. Well, what else is there?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Well, how about a pair of these nice little booties?

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Or a crib?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Or a blanket? Say a baby buggy?

[Andy]

Oh, no, no, no. We already has got a baby buggy.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Yes, but didn't you say the baby hadn't been born yet?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that's right. It's coming January 1st at the Harlem Hospital.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Did you say it?

[Andy]

Yeah, that's what she calls them. Till the day they arrive, sure.

[Kingfish]

Of course, later on it's going to be a boy or a girl.

[Andy]

Yeah, but right now it's a it.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Aha.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Did it ever occur to you that there might be two babies? Twins? Well, a fine thing. Two babies and one baby buggy.

[Andy]

But, you see, I can see the.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Mother now going down the street. Wheeling one of the babies in a bug. What happens to the other? Poor little kid. He walks.

[Andy]

Well, I didn't mean to.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

And how are you going to feel, you who could have made it possible for both of these little children to ride?

[Andy]

I didn't do nothing to that Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Andy, I ain't even speaking to you. I don't like you.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

And if you don't buy this baby buggy, why, just think of what people will say.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I guess I better. I don't want to have peoples talking about me.

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Sold. One baby buggy.

[Lightning]

Well, folks, it won't be long now. Yes, Amos.

[Kingfish]

The Crawfords ought to be here any second now.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Yes, and remember, we is all supposed to holler surprise when they come in.

[Kingfish]

Yes, and they will be surprised. Cause they don't know that we knows nothing about it.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

Don't all the gifts look pretty there?

[Andy]

Yeah, they sure do, Sapphire. You know, Kingfish, I kind of glad Slim didn't want that baby buggy. Cause with two Buggies. Now, I'm giving the Crawfords the nicest present they're going to get.

[Kingfish]

Yes, and I think that crayon set that I finally bought for the baby ought to make a hip tube. Oh, wait a minute. Quiet, everybody. There it is. Now, quiet. Now, look here. When I let them in, you knows what we gonna holler.

[Andy]

Here we go.

[Kingfish]

Surprise.

[Lightning]

Surprise. What is this?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

Yes, what is it? It is now a birthday or anniversary, Brother Crawford.

[Andy]

Ain't no use for you and your wife pretending no longer. We knows all about it. Ha ha ha ha.

[Mrs. Henry Van Poter]

This certainly is thrilling.

[Andy]

Yes, Brother Crawford, I understand your new income tax deduction is due to arrive around January 1st.

[Lightning]

I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about.

[Kingfish]

Oh, quit your kidding, Brother Crawford. I can't wait till the day I comes up to your house and hear you saying coochie coochie coo.

[Lightning]

And would you mind telling me what reason I would have for saying coochie coochie coo?

[Andy]

Oh, Brother Crawford.

[Lightning]

What is it, Andy?

[Andy]

Goo goo?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

I wish you would tell me and my husband what this is all about. We fail to see any humor in it.

[Lightning]

Well, I guess we're just gonna have to make you fess up. Well, here he is. This is for me and Ruby. This little pink knitted sweater. This is a joke. How would you expect my wife to get into that?

[Andy]

Oh, still playing dumb. Still playing dumb, huh? Listen, we might as well get right down to business, then. To the little heir of the Crawford fortunes, the new offsprings, that is due to arrive around January the first, I would like to present these two baby buggies from Andrew H. Brown so that one baby won't have to walk.

[Lightning]

Baby buggies?

[Miss Ginger Rogers]

This is the craziest thing I ever heard of. We are not having any baby.

[Andy]

Oh, you ain't?

[Lightning]

No, we are not.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Well, listen, you mean to say that you ain't having any baby at all?

[Lightning]

Certainly we are not.

[Andy]

Brother Crawford, you can't do this to us after all the trouble we done gone to. Eyes down Kingfish. On top of everything else, Brother Crawford done fix it so I won't get that job now, neither.

[Sam]

All right, boys. I'll take care of you now. What was it you wanted, Sam?

[Andy]

I ain't got no use for these two baby buggies, and I want to swap them for something else. You got nothing new since we was here?

[Mr. Pritchard]

No.

[Sam]

And the same old stuff.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I don't know what to take. There wasn't nothing here I wanted before.

[Sam]

Why don't you try the grab box?

[Kingfish]

Explain to him. What is that?

[Sam]

Well, that's like a grab bag. Everything's all wrapped up and you might make a great swap. On the other hand, maybe you won't do so good, but at least you'll get your money's worth.

[Andy]

Well, that's for me. That's a deal. Take the baby buggies. Here I go.

[Sam]

Just a minute, andy. There's a $2 swapping charge.

[Andy]

Oh, all right. Here you is.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, grab one of the boxes there, Andy.

[Andy]

Yeah, at least I got a heavy one.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, Andy, open it up. Let's see what you got there. Yeah. What'd you get, Andy? What'd you get?

[Andy]

There's them four pair of bookends again. High as Reg.

[Narrator]

Join us again next week at this same time for the Amos and Andy show, at which time the boy's guest will be that self styled expert on marriage problems, Mr. Robert Benchley. Our thanks to Ms. Ginger Rogers for being our guest tonight. The Amos and Andy show is shortwave to all our armed forces overseas. This is Harlow Wilcox. And before we say good night, I have one further important reminder. We all know that the beautiful Christmas seals which grace millions of letters and packages at this time of the year are more than mere decoration. That they are in reality, the expression of the generosity of a nation's heart. For the Christmas seals you buy are among the most effective weapons against tuberculosis. But there's an interesting and not too well known story behind the fight against the Great White plague. Did you know that the war waged against tuberculosis owes much of its success to the veterinary profession? Yes. Not only did veterinarians join with the medical profession in efforts to stamp out tuberculosis in man and beast, but they have pioneered many advances in the scientific attack on the disease, including the eradication of bovine tuberculosis. We can thank the veterinarians for the safe, pure milk we drink. Through their efforts, the tubercular cow is nearly as extinct as the dodo bird. I just thought you'd be interested in that. Sidelight on the organized campaign to stamp out human suffering. Veterinarians and physicians on the one hand, you and your purchases of Christmas seals on the other. What a privilege you have to do your share in this great fight merely by buying Christmas seals. Thank you and good night. This is the National Broadcasting Company.