Amos & Andy - Bookends and Babies

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Amos & Andy - Bookends and Babies
Date: March 28, 2026

This classic episode of Amos & Andy centers around the comedic misadventures sparked by a simple gift: a pair of bookends. Through a series of misunderstandings, trades, and rumors, the episode weaves its way through workplace changes, mistaken baby news, and a farcical baby shower. Special guest Ginger Rogers features as a witty department store salesgirl, adding charm and quick banter to the story. The episode is a fine example of the situational humor and character-driven plots that made Amos & Andy a staple of the Golden Age of Radio.

---

Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. The Bookends and the Gift Mix-Up

• Setting: Pritchard’s Department Store
• Mrs. Henry Van Porter shops for a tasteful but affordable pair of bookends at the gift counter, where Ms. Ginger Rogers is the salesgirl. (01:36)
• Mrs. Van Porter asks for the bookends to be wrapped and delivered as a thank-you gift to Andy for helping sell an insurance policy.

Notable Quote:
Ms. Ginger Rogers (about the popular picture frames):
"The way the women went for those things, you'd have thought Frank Sinatra came with every frame in person." (02:32)

---

2. Andy's New Job and Reluctant Acceptance

• Andy tells Kingfish about his new job at Harlem Hospital, secured through Brother Crawford. (02:49)
• Kingfish jokes about the challenges of working life:
  "7 o’clock was never meant for a getting up hour. The only reason they got that number 7 printed on the clock...so there won't be no blank spares between six and eight." (03:37)
• Andy receives the bookends, but confides he dislikes them and plans to exchange them. (04:54)

---

3. Attempted Exchange and Escalating Confusion

• Andy tries to return the bookends, but runs into Mrs. Van Porter and stumbles through a white lie about wanting more bookends. (05:46)
• The attempt to get a refund fails due to the store’s "all sales are final" policy. (07:01)
• Kingfish helps Andy bring the bookends to a swap shop to try their luck. (07:17)

---

4. Bartering at the Swap Shop

• At the swap shop, market values shift rapidly:
  Sam (shop owner): “Bookends is pretty hard to get these days...Oh, well, in that case, the market is flooded with them. Tell you what I'll do, I'll give you 10 cents. Par for them.” (07:34, 07:44)
• Andy is talked into swapping the bookends for a baby buggy—with an extra swapping charge. (09:13)

Memorable Moment:
Kingfish and Andy’s exasperation at the swap:
Andy: “Now, listen, Kingfish. What is I gonna do with a baby buggy?” (09:42)

---

5. The Rumor Mill: Mistaken Baby News

• In a classic radio comedy misunderstanding, Andy and Kingfish ask Brother Crawford to watch the baby buggy while they make a phone call. (10:48)
• News rapidly spreads through Harlem that the Crawfords are expecting, stemming from ambiguous conversation and assumptions.
• By the time it circles back to Kingfish, it’s accepted as fact:
  Kingfish: “The Crawfords is going to have a baby.” (12:15)
• Andy remarks on the coincidence, since he is also starting his new job at the hospital on January 1st. (12:26)

---

6. Organizing a Baby Shower

• Kingfish proposes throwing the Crawfords a surprise baby shower to show appreciation for Andy’s new job. (13:19)
• Andy agrees, feeling grateful and obligated.

---

7. Department Store Antics: Ginger Rogers Moves to Baby Clothes

• In a humorous subplot, Ms. Ginger Rogers learns she’s being transferred from “bookends and bric-a-brac” to “baby clothes” due to falling sales. (15:04)
• Mr. Pritchard requests she pretend to be a mother for sales purposes:
  Ms. Ginger Rogers: “Now, wait a minute. Don't you think enough has happened to me for one day?”* (16:09)

---

8. Clueless Shopping for Babies

• Andy and Kingfish attempt to select a baby gift, revealing their total ignorance.
• Rogers feigns vast maternal experience—escalating from six to seven children, overstating their abilities:
  Ms. Ginger Rogers: “I could still see my little girl, Gwendolyn, when she was only two weeks old, whizzing around the block in one of those kiddie cars.” (18:52)
• Classic humor as they try to deduce newborn sizing:
  Ms. Ginger Rogers: “I weigh 120 and I take a size 36...15 pounds, four and a half... Yep. Think that does it.”* (19:44)
• Eventually, they are convinced to buy another baby buggy, so "one baby won’t have to walk" if there are twins. (21:03)

---

9. The Baby Shower: The Reveal

• The group plans a surprise baby shower, complete with gifts and the two baby buggies. (22:05)
• The “Surprise!” results in confusion, and Brother Crawford and his wife reveal they are NOT expecting a baby. (22:45)
• Andy laments:
  “You can't do this to us after all the trouble we done gone to. Eyes down, Kingfish. On top of everything else, Brother Crawford doesn't fix it so I won't get that job now neither.” (24:35)

---

10. Full Circle: The Bookends Return

• Andy returns to the swap shop, attempts a “grab box” trade for the baby buggies—only to receive, once again, the original set of bookends. (25:47)

---

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• Mrs. Van Porter Shops for Bookends: 01:36
• Andy Receives and Dislikes the Bookends: 04:30–05:09
• Attempt to Return Bookends (with Ginger Rogers): 05:46–06:33
• Bartering at the Swap Shop: 07:26–10:03
• Rumor Spreads About the Baby: 11:09–12:26
• Kingfish Starts the Baby Shower Plan: 13:19
• Ginger Rogers’ Department Switch: 15:04–16:18
• Comedic Shopping for Baby Gifts: 16:28–21:53
• Baby Shower and the Truth Revealed: 22:05–24:35
• Bookends Reappear in Grab Box: 25:38–25:47

---

Notable Quotes

• Andy (on 7 a.m. work):
  "7 o’clock was never meant for a getting up hour..." (03:37)
• Ms. Ginger Rogers:
  "The way the women went for those things, you'd have thought Frank Sinatra came with every frame in person." (02:32)
• Sam, the swap shop owner:
  "Bookends is pretty hard to get these days...Oh, well, in that case, the market is flooded with them." (07:34, 07:44)
• Ms. Ginger Rogers (on sizing):
  "I weigh 120 and I take a size 36...15 pounds, four and a half... Yep. Think that does it." (19:44)
• Andy (the punchline):
  "There's them full pair of bookends again." (25:47)

---

Episode Tone and Highlights

• Lighthearted banter and classic sitcom misunderstandings drive the episode.
• The interplay between Andy and Kingfish is loaded with one-liners and quick exchanges.
• Ginger Rogers delivers sharp, deadpan comedy as the salesgirl—her sly improvisations about her "children" are a highlight.
• The recurring "bookends" motif—from unwanted gift, to trade, to recurring punchline—exemplifies clever old-time radio plotting.

---

Conclusion

This episode masterfully blends farce, character interplay, and period humor. With memorable guest Ginger Rogers and a cycle of misunderstandings that lead back to where they started, "Bookends and Babies" is a classic example of the charm and comic rhythm of radio’s golden era.

Listeners new and old will appreciate the intertwining of simple gestures, wild assumptions, and the eternal struggle to rid oneself of a well-intentioned but unwanted gift.

Transcript

[Announcer]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time, scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.

[Kingfish]

Good evening.

[Narrator]

The makers of the new Rinso bring you the Amos and Andy show with their guest tonight, the lovely star of the new RKO radio picture, tender comrade, Ms. Ginger Roger. Amos and Andy's theme is the perfect song every Friday night. Now, my theme for tonight is Rinso certainly gets around. However, Amos and Andy are ready and waiting, and here they come with their guest, Miss Ginger Rogers. Our story opens tonight not with Amos and Andy up in Harlem, but in Pritchard's Department store downtown. We find Mrs. Henry Van Porter walking down one of the aisles, approaching the gift department. Behind the counter is the salesgirl, Ms. Ginger Rogers.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Something I can do for you?

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

I was looking for a pair of bookends. Something not too gaudy and yet smart and chic. Has you got anything for a dollar?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, yes, we have these glass ones here. They're on sale at a dollar.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Oh, yes. Uh, yes, they is. Charming, ain't they?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

They're of very good value. They're made by a very fine firm in San Diego.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Oh, imported. I'll take a pair of them, please.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

All right, that'll be a $3. Do you wish to take them with you?

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

No, this is a sin. I want them wrapped as a gift and sent to Mr. Andrew H. Brown at this address here.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Fine. I'll see that it gets in the afternoon delivery.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

What time should that arrive there?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, I'm not sure our truck driver's getting a permanent wave today. She may be a little late.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

By the way, has you got any more of them plastic picture frames that you advertised last week?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Not a one of them left. The way the women went for those things, you'd have thought Frank Sinatra came with every frame in person. But we've got a new shipment coming in tomorrow morning, so be sure to be here early.

[Andy]

So, Kingfish, I started on a regular job. Brother Crawford done got it for me, and I'm going to work.

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, I wouldn't feel too bad about the thing. You might get a Break and get fired at the end of the first week.

[Andy]

No, no, there ain't no chance of that. And what's more, I is really anxious to start on this job.

[Kingfish]

When is you supposed to start, Andy? When does it happen?

[Andy]

January 1st. I starts in the supply department at the Harlem Hospital.

[Kingfish]

Oh, well, by that time you'll be yourself again. I guarantee that by January 1st this whole crazy feeling will leave you and go away.

[Andy]

Wait a minute, Kingfish. I don't want it to go away. Other people's goes to work and I'm gonna try it too.

[Kingfish]

Andy, do you know what you is letting yourself in for? Do you know that if you takes a job you liable to have to get up at 7:00 every morning?

[Andy]

Well, what's wrong with that? Other people do it.

[Kingfish]

Listen, brother. And the 7 o' clock was never meant for a getting up hour. The only reason they got that number 7 printed on the clock it. Yeah, so there won't be no blank spares between six and eight. That's why they put it.

[Andy]

Kingfish, all I gotta say is that I has done decided to take this job now. Brother Crawford done got it for me through a friend of his at the Harlem Hospital. And it's a good job. And well, I'm going to work January 1st.

[Kingfish]

Well, and I guess you know what you're doing. I just hope that you ain't doing all this on the repulse of the minute. That's all I hope.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, you see, Kingfish, I wait. Come in, Lightning.

[Kingfish]

Hi there, Lightning.

[Amos]

Ms. Andy, this package come for you over at the Lodge Hall.

[Andy]

Oh, thank you, Lightning.

[Amos]

I wonder what's in it.

[Andy]

Well, don't crowd me, Lightning.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, stand back, Lightning. Me and Andy can open it.

[Andy]

A pair of bookends.

[Amos]

Bookends? What are they for, Ms. Andy?

[Andy]

Well, to keep books from falling down.

[Amos]

Oh, that was a good invention all right.

[Andy]

Here's the card. Thanks for everything, Mrs. Henry Van Pooter.

[Kingfish]

What you thanking you for, Andrew?

[Andy]

Oh, I kind of helped Henry to sell an insurance policy.

[Kingfish]

What in the world is you going to do with glass bookends?

[Andy]

And, well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Confidentially and under your hat and just between the two of us, I'm going to try to get the money back on him.

[Kingfish]

Oh, he's going to exchange him, huh?

[Andy]

Yeah. You know, there's one thing that I hate, it's bookends.

[Kingfish]

Well, you was right in taking back this present. Half all you ain't got no use for Bookends, do you?

[Andy]

Nah. Kind of like a sandwich without nothing between the bread. Of course, I could keep my funny papers in between them, but that'd look like I was trying to put on the dog.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that's landed on heavy already.

[Andy]

Yeah. Tell you what, fellas. I'm going down to Pritchard's Department Store and change these things right now. I'll see you later. Pardon me, miss. I'd like to exchange these bookends.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

And what's wrong with them?

[Andy]

I ain't got no book.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Oh, I see. Were these a gift?

[Andy]

Yes, ma'. Am. Mrs. Van Poer sent them to me.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Oh, yes. Now, you're sure you don't want these? After all, they're imported from San Diego.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, far as I was returned, they can send them back on the next boat.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, you see, on sales merchandise.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Hello there.

[Andy]

And hello. Hello, Mrs. Van Poter.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

What are you doing here? Aren't those the bookends I bought here for you yesterday?

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. You did give me these. I was just telling the sales lady here. How crazy I is about him and did I want to buy three more pair.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

But you said you wanted to get.

[Andy]

No, I say I want to get three more pair, miss.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, I guess the customer is always right.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Go ahead, miss. I'll stand here till you finish waiting on him.

[Kingfish]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So here I is now, Kingfish with four pair of bookings.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, they're really piling up on you, ain't they? They wouldn't give you your money back at the store, huh?

[Andy]

No, I hid in the men's shoe department till Mrs. Van Poter left. Then I went over there and tried to get my money back.

[Kingfish]

Well, what'd they say?

[Andy]

They say it was all sale merchandise. And when that stuff go out, it stays out.

[Kingfish]

Well, don't worry, Ander. I think everything go turn out all right for you.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, it sure is nice of you to bring me over to this swap shop here, Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, I'm glad to do it, Andy. Come on, let's go on in.

[Amos]

Yeah.

[Kingfish]

How you there, Sam?

[Sam]

Hello, King Face.

[Kingfish]

Sam, my friend here, Mrs. Brown, wants to talk to you about some bookends.

[Sam]

Well, bookends is pretty hard to get these days. You just can't find them. But I'll let you have a couple of pairs. $3 a pair.

[Andy]

No, no. Oh, no, I don't want to buy none. I want to sell you some.

[Sam]

Oh, well, in that case, the market is flooded with them. Tell you What I'll do, I'll give you 10 cents. Par for them.

[Andy]

That market show got flooded fast, didn't it?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that was a wave that come up there on this thing.

[Sam]

Well, to tell you the truth, Kingfish, I'd rather swap stuff than to buy things for cash.

[Andy]

Yeah? Well, why you swap me for these four pair of bookends?

[Sam]

Well, let me see now. Let me see what you might be able to use here. Now, how about this electric motor here? One quarter horsepower.

[Andy]

Quarter horsepower? What does that mean?

[Sam]

Well, electrical speaking, it mean that it generates the power of a quarter of a horse.

[Narrator]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

Kind of like a horse kicking with one leg, huh?

[Sam]

That's right.

[Andy]

What could I use the motor for?

[Sam]

Oh, you can use a motor for hundreds of things.

[Andy]

Yeah? Well, what would one thing be?

[Sam]

Well, one thing is you. Well, a motor's good to have in case you want to make something gold.

[Andy]

Well, right now, I ain't got nothing that needs going.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, Andy, if you ain't got nothing that needs going, then you sure don't need nothing to make it go with.

[Sam]

Well, how about a tennis racket?

[Andy]

How would you put the motor on it? Oh, no,

[Sam]

just a plain tennis racket. It still got most of the strings in it.

[Andy]

Would you take that, Kingfish? Yeah. No, no.

[Sam]

Look here. How about a gas heater?

[Andy]

No, no, I ain't got no gas in my room.

[Sam]

Well, could you use a baby buggy?

[Andy]

Now, wait a minute. Don't be silly.

[Kingfish]

Oh, hey, Andy, wait a minute.

[Andy]

You could use a baby buggy. Now, wait a minute.

[Kingfish]

King Fish, wheel out the buggy. Sam, it's a deal.

[Andy]

But listen, King.

[Kingfish]

Shut up. Pardon the deal. Give the man the bookend.

[Andy]

Okay, okay. Here you is, Sam.

[Sam]

And that'll be $2 swapping charges.

[Andy]

Oh, $2, huh? All right. Anything to get rid of them bookends. Here you is. Thank you.

[Kingfish]

Bring the baby buggy and come on, Andy.

[Andy]

Okay. Now, listen, Kingfish. What is I gonna do with a baby buggy?

[Kingfish]

Now, look here. We done made a great deal. Andy, I was talking to Slim Johnson last night, and him and his wife has been looking high and low for a used baby buggy. I think they'll pay as high as $8 for it.

[Andy]

Well, this thing ain't in too good a shape.

[Kingfish]

Come on, Andy. We'll call up Slim. There's a phone in this cigar store right here.

[Andy]

Okay. Well, hey, look here. There's Brother Crawford standing in front of the cigar store.

[Kingfish]

Oh, there. Hello there, Brother Crawford. How is you?

[Amos]

Well, hello there, boys. What are you doing here?

[Andy]

Oh, we was just down to the swap shop and got this baby buggy that we're going to try to say. By the way, Brother Crawford, I want to thank you for getting me that job. And someday I'm going to do something for you.

[Amos]

Yes, Andy, I'm glad you will.

[Kingfish]

Yes. Andy tells me here that it's going to happen. January 1st at the Harlem Hospital.

[Amos]

That's right. But don't thank me, Andy. My wife suggested that I recommend you for the job. She suggested that? The day before she left to visit her mother.

[Kingfish]

See? What is you hanging around here for, Brother Crawford?

[Amos]

I am waiting for somebody. I'm a little early.

[Andy]

Well, listen, Brother Crawford, we gotta go inside here and make a phone call. Would you mind keeping your eye on this baby buggy for a second?

[Amos]

No, not if you're not too long.

[Andy]

Well, I gotta be running along now, Amos. Nothing else new, huh?

[Amos]

No, except I was riding along on the streetcar this morning and I see Brother Crawford standing in front of a cigar store with a big.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Me and the Kingfish run into him there.

[Amos]

Tell me, Andy, when is it gonna happen?

[Andy]

January 1st at the Harlem Hospital.

[Amos]

Well, I sure glad to hear that.

[Kingfish]

Is it a secret?

[Andy]

No, no. You can tell anybody you want it. Spread the good news all around. So long, Amos.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

What's new around town, Amos?

[Amos]

Oh, nothing much, except the Crawfords is gonna have a baby.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

A baby? When?

[Amos]

January 1st, at the Harlem Hospital.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Well, Sapphire, just between you and me, the Crawfords is going to have a blessed event.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

No.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Brother Andy, I just heard big news.

[Andy]

Yeah, what is the news, Kingfish?

[Kingfish]

The Crawford is going to have a baby.

[Andy]

Well, why is it that I is always the last one to hear about something like that?

[Kingfish]

Yes, sir, my wife told me it's gonna happen around January 1st at the Harlem Hospital.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, now, that show is a coincidence. You know, I'm gonna start working in that same hospital on that same day.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, be careful, Andy, and don't let the baby see you working. No use letting a young baby get

[Andy]

a shock like that, you know.

[Narrator]

After Brother Crawford was seen standing on the corner watching the baby buggy for Andy, who had received it in exchange for his bookends at the swap shop, word spread like wildfire through Harlem that the Crawfords are having a baby. That's what Andy and the Kingfish are discussing now in Andy's office.

[Kingfish]

So, Andy, when I hear that Brother Crawford's wife was driving home tonight from visiting the kinfolks, I threw him away. But I thought it'd be nice if we all got together and give the Crawford a surprise baby shower.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I was back at the thing 100% kingfish. After all, the Crawfords was pretty nice to me getting that job for me. Yeah, I figure I kind of ought to Zip. Okay. When is the shower gonna be tonight?

[Kingfish]

Andy, the battle acts sunk that we ought to work f on the thing. Yeah, she done told everybody not to say nothing about it.

[Andy]

Yeah. Wait a minute. The shower going to be tonight? I better hurry up and get a present. Come on. We'll shoot downtown to Pritchard's department.

[Announcer]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report apple. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about. Get real time scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.

[Amos]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail].

[Announcer]

let's Chumba.

[Andy]

No purchase necessary BTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNC 21 sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute. Slim backed out on the deal. Why don't you give Crawfords the baby buggy?

[Andy]

Oh, no. I'm gonna buy him something brand new.

[Kingfish]

Come on,

[Andy]

Go right in. Ms. Rogers, Mr. Pritchett is expecting you.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Thank you.

[Mr. Pritchard]

Oh, come in, Ms. Rogers.

[Andy]

Yes, sit down.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Thank you.

[Mr. Pritchard]

How long have you been with our organization, Ms. Rogers? Two years.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Two years? Why, surely, Mr. Pritchard, you remember 1938 when I was the girl who won the Pritchard award for customer approach, fourth floor rear.

[Mr. Pritchard]

Yes, of course. Well, I just wanted to tell you, Ms. Rogers, that starting today, you are leaving bookends and bric a brac and going into baby clothes.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Baby clothes?

[Mr. Pritchard]

Yes. The reason we have to make the transfer is this, Ms. Rogers. Our bookend and bric a brac business has fallen off due to priorities. While on the other hand, baby clothes.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Oh, I know the stork doesn't need a priority. He just comes in on a wing and a prayer. But gee, Mr. Pritchard, I don't know anything about baby clothes.

[Mr. Pritchard]

I realize that. That's why I want you to go up there as soon as possible. And acquaint yourself with the stock sizes and all that.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, I'll do the best I can.

[Mr. Pritchard]

Oh, and one more thing, miss rogers. It might be advisable for you to leave the impression with your customers that you are a mother with children of your own.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Now, wait a minute. Don't you think enough has happened to me for one day?

[Mr. Pritchard]

Yes, but the customers seem to place more value in the advice of someone with experience.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Okay. Maybe the change will be good for me. At least I'll meet some new faces.

[Andy]

Mister, can you take care of us?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

No, you don't. If you're bringing back bookends, go down to the first floor.

[Kingfish]

No, ma'. Am. No, no, no, miss, that ain't it. You know what we want? Something for a baby.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Oh, for a baby. Well, well, let's see what we've got here now. How about something like this?

[Andy]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's pretty all right.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that. Sure. Look at that. That is pretty.

[Andy]

Yeah, Every baby ought to have one of them. I'll say. Yeah. Uh, what is it?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Do you mean to say you don't know what this is?

[Kingfish]

Uh, no, ma'.

[Amos]

Am.

[Kingfish]

No, I don't know what this neither.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, you've seen babies before, haven't you?

[Andy]

Oh, sure. Yeah, we see babies, all right.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

And you have no idea at all what this thing is?

[Andy]

No, ma'. Am.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, that's too bad, because I like to know what it is myself.

[Andy]

Well. Well, look here. Look here. It say here on the sign?

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Read that out loud.

[Andy]

What'd it say there? B A. S Bassinet.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Yeah.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Now, what's a bassinet?

[Kingfish]

Well, it look like here to me. It's just a plain wicker basket with some pink silk lining in it there.

[Andy]

Yeah, I guess that's for a little girl around 5 years old. Maybe she delivers her mother's washing in it.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. They sure do start them out young, don't they?

[Andy]

Excuse me, miss, but as you show you was the right person to wait on us, Seem like to me that you don't know much about babies or what they wears.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Are you kidding? I've got children of my own. Six of them. Yeah, I forgot for a moment.

[Andy]

You forgot you had them?

[Kingfish]

Yeah. That ain't the type of thing that usually slips a mother's mind, is it?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, the babies are so much younger than I am that we don't have very much in common. I love the rascals, all seven of them.

[Andy]

Seven? You say you had six?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, their father's A rascal, too. Now, come on, let's get going. How old is the baby you want something for?

[Andy]

Well, you see, Mercy, it ain't born yet. Some friends of ours is gonna have a baby and we're giving them a baby shower. We want to get something, though, that the baby will be able to use right after it's born.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, how about this kiddie car here? That would be just the thing. I could still see my little girl, Gwendolyn, when she was only two weeks old, whizzing around the block in one of those kiddie cars.

[Kingfish]

You there, wheezing around the block. And just when she was two weeks old.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Remarkable child.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I guess I is a little old fashioned, but I kind of had an idea that all babies stayed in bed for the first four or five months.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

That just shows how much guys know about babies.

[Andy]

Yes. Well, how old is your little girl?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Gwendolyn is just past three.

[Andy]

Just about ready to drive her own car by now.

[Kingfish]

Say, this little sweater here might be something. I wonder what size we ought to get in that.

[Andy]

Well, it's gonna be for a newborn baby. I guess it would depend on the weight. How much do newborn babies weigh, miss?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, they usually run around eight or nine pounds.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, what size you think we ought to take then?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

I'll figure it out for you. I weigh 120 and I take a size 36. I'll do a little dividing here. Now, If I weighed 60 pounds, that'd be half of 36. I'd take an 18. Thirty pounds would take a nine. Fifteen pounds, four and a half. Yep. Think that does it.

[Kingfish]

What size should we take?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Two and seven tenths.

[Kingfish]

All right, then we'll take one of them.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

I'll give it to you right now. Let me see here. There's ones, fours, threes, two. I'm sorry, we're all out of two and seven tenths.

[Andy]

This is going to be some shower we give them. Yeah, right now it looks more like a drizzle.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Now, look here, the store is going to close in five minutes and I've got a heavy date tonight. So if you're going to get a gift for that baby, you better hurry up.

[Andy]

Yes, well, what else is there?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Well, how about a pair of these nice little booties? Or a crib? Or a blanket, Say a baby buggy?

[Andy]

Oh, no, no, no. We already has got a baby buggy, miss.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Yes, but didn't you say the baby hadn't been born yet?

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that's right. It's coming January 4th at the Harlem Hospital.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Did you say it?

[Andy]

Yeah, that's what she calls them till the day they arrive.

[Kingfish]

Sure. Of course, later on it's going to be a boy or a girl.

[Andy]

Yeah, but right now it's a if.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Did it ever occur to you that there might be two babies? Twins? Well, a fine thing. Two babies and one baby buggy.

[Andy]

But, you see, I can see the

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

mother now going down the street wheeling one of the babies in a buggy. But what happens to the other poor little kid? He walks.

[Andy]

Well, I didn't mean to.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

How are you going to feel, you who could have made it possible for both of these little children to ride?

[Andy]

I didn't do nothing, did I, Kingfish?

[Kingfish]

Andy, I ain't even speaking to you. I don't like you.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

And if you don't buy this baby buggy, why, just think of what people will say.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I guess I better. I don't want to have peoples talking about me.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Sold one baby buggy.

[Amos]

Well, folks, it won't be long now. Yes, Amos?

[Kingfish]

The Crawfords ought to be here any second now.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Yes, and remember, we was all supposed to holler surprise when they come in.

[Kingfish]

Yes, and they will be surprised. Cause they don't know that we knows nothing about it.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

Don't all the gifts look pretty there?

[Andy]

Yeah, they sure do, Sapphire. You know, Kingfish, I kind of glad Slim didn't want that baby buggy. Cause with two buggies now, I'm giving the Crawfords the nicest present they're going to get.

[Kingfish]

Yes, and I think that crayon set that I finally bought for the baby ought to make a hit, too. Oh, wait a minute. Quiet, everybody. There it is. Now, quiet. Now, look here. When I let them in, you knows what we're going to holler.

[Andy]

Here we go.

[Kingfish]

Surprise.

[Amos]

Surprise. What is this?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

Yes, what is it? It is now birthday.

[Andy]

Our anniversary, Brother Crawford. Ain't no use for you and your wife pretending no longer. We knows all about it.

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

This certainly is thrilling.

[Andy]

Yes, Brother Crawford, I understand your new income tax deduction is due to arrive around January 1st.

[Amos]

I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about.

[Kingfish]

Oh, quit your kidding, Brother Crawford. I can't wait till the day I comes up to your house and hear you saying coochie coochie coo.

[Amos]

And would you mind telling me what reason I would have for saying coochie coochie coo?

[Andy]

Brother Crawford.

[Amos]

What is it, Andy?

[Andy]

Goo Goo?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

I wish you would tell me and

[Mrs. Henry Van Pooter]

my husband what this is all about.

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

We fail to see any Yuba in it.

[Amos]

Well, I guess we're just gonna have to make you fess up. Well, here he is. This is for me and Ruby. This little pink knitted sweater. This is a joke. How would you expect my wife to get into that?

[Andy]

Oh, still playing dumb. Still playing dumb, huh? Listen, we might as well get right down to business then. To the little heir of the Crawford fortunes, the new offsprings, that is due to arrive around January the first, I would like to present these two baby buggies from Andrew H. Brown so that one baby won't have to walk.

[Amos]

Baby buggies?

[Ms. Ginger Rogers]

This is the craziest thing I ever heard of. We are not having any baby.

[Andy]

Oh, you ain't?

[Amos]

No, we are not.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Listen. You mean to say that you ain't having any baby at all?

[Amos]

Certainly we are not.

[Andy]

Brother Crawfords. You can't do this to us after all the trouble we done gone to. Eyes down, Kingfish. On top of everything else, Brother Crawford doesn't fix it so I won't get that job now neither.

[Sam]

All right, boys, I'll take care of you now. What was it you wanted, Sam?

[Andy]

I ain't got no use for these two baby buggies and I want to swap them for something else. You got nothing new since we was here?

[Sam]

No. And the same old stuff?

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I don't know what to take. There wasn't nothing here I wanted before.

[Sam]

Why don't you try the grab box?

[Kingfish]

Explain to him. What is that?

[Sam]

Well, that's like a grab bag. Everything's all wrapped up and you might make a great swap. And on the other hand, maybe you won't do so good, but at least you get your money's worth.

[Andy]

Well, that's for me. That's a deal. Take the baby buggies. Here I go.

[Sam]

Just a minute, Andy. There's a two dollar swapping charge.

[Andy]

Oh, all right. Here you is.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, grab one of the boxes then.

[Andy]

Yeah. At least I got a heavy one.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, Andy, open it up. Let's see what you got there. Yeah. What'd you get, Andy? What'd you get?

[Andy]

There's them full pair of bookends again. I.

[Narrator]

Join us again next week at this same time for the Amos and Andy show, at which time the boy's guest will be that self styled expert on marriage problems, Mr. Robert Benchley. Our thanks to Ms. Ginger Rogers for being our guest tonight. The Amos and Andy show is short wave to all our armed forces overseas. This is Harlow Wilcox. And before we say good night, I have one further important reminder. We all know that the beautiful Christmas seals which grace millions of letters and packages at this time of the year, are more than mere decoration. That they are, in reality, the expression of the generosity of a nation's heart. For the Christmas seals you buy are among the most effective weapons against tuberculosis. But there's an interesting and not too well known story behind the fight against the Great White Plague. Did you know that the war waged against tuberculosis owes much of its success to the veterinary profession? Yes. Not only did veterinarians join with the medical profession in efforts to stamp out tuberculosis in man and beast, but they have pioneered many advances in the scientific attack on the disease, including the eradication of bovine tuberculosis. We can thank the veterinarians for the safe, pure milk we drink. Through their efforts, the tubercular cow is nearly as extinct as the dodo bird. I just thought you'd be interested in that. Sidelight on the organized campaign to stamp out human suffering. Veterinarians and physicians on the one hand, you and your purchases of Christmas seals on the other. What a privilege you have to do your share in this great fight merely by buying Christmas seals. Thank you and good night.

[Andy]

This is the National Broadcasting Company.

[Amos]

Tyler reddick here from 2311 Racing Victory Lane.

[Announcer]

Yeah, it's even better with Chumba by my side.

[Amos]

Race to chumbacasino.com let's Chumba.

[Grainger Announcer]

No purchase necessary VTW Group void where prohibited by law.

[Andy]

CTNCs21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Grainger Announcer]

If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need, all in one place, from H Vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-granger. Visit granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.