Amos & Andy - Cabin in Connecticut

Summary

Amos & Andy – Cabin in Connecticut
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: March 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this classic episode of the Amos & Andy Show, the comedic duo navigates a tangled web of real estate shenanigans after Kingfish tries to unload a neglected property in Connecticut. When Andy becomes the unlikely buyer, a series of deceptions, misunderstandings, and frantic deals spiral toward an unexpected reversal of fortune. Set against the familiar rhythms and lively banter of the legendary radio show, this episode highlights the characters’ get-rich-quick schemes, friendly ribbing, and the ever-present threat of comeuppance.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Discovered “Valuables” (01:57–03:36)

• Sapphire and her mother return home with items from a safety deposit box Kingfish neglected to pay for.
  • The so-called “valuables” include outdated Spanish-American war bonds, a worthless property deed, and Mama's engagement ring.
  • Quote (Sapphire, 02:12):
    "The only thing valuable in here is Mama’s $2,500 engagement ring."
• Kingfish laments his failed attempt to sell a Connecticut property for a tidy sum to hotel developers, only for the hotel to build elsewhere.

2. Kingfish’s Sales Pitch to Andy (03:41–08:34)

• Andy arrives, and Kingfish seizes the opportunity to sell him on a vacation cottage instead of a pricey camping trip in the North Woods.
  • Kingfish employs exaggerated tales of camping dangers (sleeping bag tragedies, wild bears, and rattlesnakes) to discourage Andy.
  • Quote (Kingfish, 06:09):
    "Andy, why, the north woods is full of sleeping bags that's been kicking around and screaming since last summer!"
  • Andy, spooked and convinced, agrees to buy Kingfish’s Connecticut cabin for $400 sight unseen.
• Amos warns Andy against buying without seeing the property, warning:
  • Quote (Amos, 08:17):
    "You was crazy to put up your money before you see the thing. Make sure he show you the place."

3. Kingfish’s Worries and Schemes (09:49–11:32)

• Kingfish worries about showing Andy the ruined cabin, knowing he has already spent the money.
• Comic interlude: Jack Calhoun narrates an absurd story about feeding ducks to his dog and his cousin’s mishap in Paris.
• Calhoun suggests tricking Andy into believing hotel amenities come with the property, giving Kingfish an idea for further deception.

4. The Cabin Inspection (12:33–16:40)

• Kingfish gives Andy the grand tour of the hotel (from afar), then treks with Andy to the derelict cabin.
  • The journey involves hopping fences, dodging traffic, and crossing ditches — far from the promised “hop, skip, and a jump.”
  • Quote (Andy, 13:45):
    "You said it was a hop, skip, and a jump. We hopped over three barbed wire fences, skipped across a four lane highway just ahead of a Mack truck, and jumped over that drainage ditch to get here!"
• The cabin itself is ragged, doorless, and lacking a bathroom. Kingfish spins its defects as “Swiss cheese modern style” and touts the joys of “rustic living.” Andy protests but is told the deal is sealed.
  • Quote (Kingfish, 16:09):
    "Ignorance is nine points of the law. Oh, I got you, boy."

5. The Reversal – The Fake $3,000 Offer (16:40–17:41)

• Kingfish receives a letter (seemingly from the Monmouth Hotel) offering $3,000 for the land to expand their golf course.
• He panics, realizing he could have made much more than he did with Andy, and seeks to undo the sale.

6. Andy’s Turn – Flipping the Cottage (17:41–18:04)

• Kingfish calls Andy to break the deal, but Andy claims it’s too late:
  • Quote (Andy, 17:45):
    "I done changed my mind about living up there and sold the place to a Mr. Theodore Nelson for $700."
• The tables turn, and Kingfish must now negotiate with a third party.

7. The Airport Ruse (20:22–24:58)

• To try and scare off Mr. Nelson, Kingfish and Andy pose as airline executives, claiming a jet airport is being built — with Nelson's cottage at the end of the runway.
  • Kingfish introduces Andy as the accident-prone pilot “Nearsighted Brown,” who recounts missing entire airports.
• Nelson is startled but ultimately refuses to abandon his investment, even when Kingfish offers his money back.
  • Kingfish is forced to up his offer to $1,000, which Nelson happily accepts.

8. The Final Twist – The True Author of the Offer (26:12–27:25)

• Kingfish boasts about his impending $2,000 profit to Sapphire and her mother.
• Sapphire reveals the hotel’s $3,000 offer letter was a practical joke — she wrote it herself.
  • Quote (Sapphire, 26:41):
    "You poor sap. I wanted to play a joke on you. I writ you that letter offering you the $3,000."
• In his desperation, Kingfish had pawned Mama’s engagement ring to raise the $1,000 he paid to Nelson, leaving him with neither profit nor property.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kingfish, on Land Speculation:
  "If the boy that lost the Battle of Waterloo could swing a deal like that, think what a future there is for me in the real estate business." (03:52)
• Andy, on the Cabin’s Location:
  "The joys of rustic living include no bathroom?" (15:30)
• Kingfish, after realizing the joke:
  "Watch me rubbing this big deal into them two old goats. ... I done made $2,000 profit on that old broken down cabin." (26:16–26:23)
• Sapphire, revealing the truth:
  "Mama sure put a fast one on you, George." (26:54)
• Kingfish’s solution for raising money:
  "I pawned Mama’s $2,500 diamond." (27:25)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:57 – The “valuables” and property deed unpacked
• 03:41 – Kingfish plots to sell the cabin
• 06:09 – Kingfish’s “sleeping bag” sales scare
• 08:11 – Andy buys the property
• 13:45 – Arrival at the cabin in Connecticut
• 16:40 – Kingfish receives (fake) $3,000 offer
• 17:45 – Andy sells to Mr. Nelson for $700
• 21:12 – Kingfish and Andy stage the “airport ruse”
• 24:58 – Kingfish offers Nelson $1,000 to leave
• 26:41 – Sapphire reveals practical joke and the letter’s true origin
• 27:25 – Kingfish reveals he pawned Mama’s ring

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Tone and Style

Maintaining its classic comedic tone, the episode is packed with wordplay, witty exchanges, good-natured jibes, and escalating absurdity. Each character’s personality shines—Kingfish’s scheming optimism, Andy’s guileless confusion, Sapphire’s sharp tongue, and the ensemble’s chemistry create the vintage, slapstick charm that defines Amos & Andy.

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Summary

This episode is quintessential Amos & Andy: a tangle of get-rich-quick hopes and comic misfortune. Kingfish’s plans repeatedly backfire, Andy unwittingly outsmarts him (albeit briefly), and turnabout is fair play as Sapphire and her mother have the last laugh. The property deal, the “airport” con, and the final twist provide a classic showcase of the show’s enduring humor and lively characterization for both nostalgic fans and new listeners alike.

Transcript

[A]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing.

[B]

Another checkered flag for the books.

[C]

Time to celebrate with Chumba.

[A]

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[B]

Andy, you know what that music saying?

[D]

Yes, sir. Amos. That music say good health to all from Rexall.

[C]

The Amos and Andy Show. Transcribed written by Joe Connelly and Bob Mosher. Featuring Ernestine Wade, Johnny Lee, Amanda Randolph, Corny Anderson, Jeff Alexander's music, yours truly, Harlow Wilcox. And starring radio's all time favorites, Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll. Amos and. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen? I am Freeman Gosden. You know, Charles Correll and I have been partners for a long time. There are some things we agree on and some we don't. But we always talk it out. Maybe that's why we're such good friends. But there is one matter on which we definitely agree, and that is that for real economy we can always rely on our Rexall druggist. We're always sure that our money buys more in a Rexall store. And we know you will agree with us if you start trading at your Rexall family druggist. Well, the Kingfisher's wife, Sapphire and her mother went to the bank this morning and have just returned to the apartment with a stack of papers and legal looking documents.

[B]

Sapphire, why is you and your mama bringing all that stuff home from our safety deposit box?

[E]

Cause you didn't pay the rent on it. Yeah, we was evicted from that too, you bum.

[B]

You mean that we gonna have to keep all these valuables around the house here?

[E]

What you talking about, valuables? The only thing valuable in Here is Mama's $2,500 engagement ring. And Mama can keep that in her dresser drawer. That ring is the only thing of value.

[B]

What you mean? Now look, right here, there's $400 worth of war bonds.

[E]

Yes, but they're war bonds from the Spanish American War. Yeah, and on top of that there's dated Barcelona. You thought Spain was gonna win?

[B]

Well, I got a bad trip. Somebody told me that Admiral Dewar's first name was Joseph. Anyway, there's other valuables there. What is this thing right here? What does it say here? Property deed.

[E]

That's that crazy lot with that shack on it you bought up in Connecticut 10 years ago.

[B]

Yeah, well, I almost made my fortune on that. The people wanted to buy it. Put up that big Monmouth Hotel.

[E]

Yeah, but just like all your deals, you held out for too Big a price. Yeah, and the hotel wound up by building that place a mile away on the other side of the highway. You big fat headed boob.

[B]

Thank you, Mama. Thank you for them sweet thoughts. Think how I felt. It was a bad break for me. That cabin of mine must be in pretty bad shape by now, though. I ain't done a thing to the players in five years. You know, if I fix it up, it. It might not make a bad summer cottage for somebody.

[E]

Well, if you can sell that overgrown lot and broke down cabin to anybody, you is a genius.

[B]

Now, wait a minute, Charles. You ever heard of the Louisiana Purchase?

[E]

You mean when Napoleon sold the United states Louisiana for $15 million?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You've been down there, seen all them swamps and bayous and the flooded land, ain't you?

[E]

Yeah, I seen them.

[B]

Well, listen, if the boy that lost the Battle of Waterloo could swing a deal like that, think what a future there is for me and the real estate business. Oh, me. I guess Sapphire was right. I had that ad in the paper for two days now. I guess nobody wants to buy that cabin up in Connecticut. I ain't had one nibble if I could get a fish to bite. One little nibble. One fish.

[D]

Hiya, Kingfish. Hi.

[B]

Well, Andy Brown, welcome to the aquarium.

[D]

What's up, Kingfish?

[B]

Well, I was just thinking about your boy. You know, Andy, this is the time of year when the robin redbreast wings its way north. When the swallows return to their homes in the trees, the pigeons to their roost and the doves to their nest.

[D]

Kingfish, what are you getting at? You trying to sell me a box of them stale bird eggs again?

[B]

I was thinking with summer coming on this time that you made your vacation plan.

[D]

Oh, well, I done made my vacation plans already.

[B]

Oh, you is, huh?

[D]

Yeah, me and a couple of the other brothers is gonna take a trip and go camping in the North Woods.

[B]

The North Woods?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Gonna cost us 3 or $400, but it'll be worth it.

[B]

So you're going to the North Woods. You're going behind nature's iron curtain tree studded Devil's Island.

[D]

Is you inferring here that the woods is dangerous?

[B]

Well, the end of camping in the woods is all right for the experienced hunter and trapper, but it's sure death for the tenderfeets who don't know nothing about a neophyte like you. You're gonna camp out, huh?

[D]

Yeah, we're taking all the equipment. Sleeping bags and everything.

[B]

Sleeping bags, huh? You mean one of them bags you crawls into at night and then closes the whole thing up with a zipper. Very dangerous, ain't it?

[C]

Dangerous?

[D]

After I zip the thing up, I safe inside the bag from the rain and the wild alimental and everything. All I gotta do is unzip myself when I wants to get up in the morning.

[B]

That's it. Andy, do you know how them zippers is?

[D]

You mean they get stuck sometimes?

[B]

Stuck? Andy, why? The north woods is full of sleeping bags that's been kicking around and screaming since last summer. Must be. Must be 5 or 600 sleeping bags that hopping around like Mexican jumping beans.

[D]

Well, I ain't gonna take no chances then. I just sleep out in the open.

[B]

That new open, huh? With all them ferocious bears around? What do you mean?

[D]

A fellow explaining to me how all them bears is tame. They even walks right up and eats out the car.

[B]

Yeah, but what he didn't explain to you is that what they eats out of the cars is the drivers, doesn't it?

[D]

Well, all right, all right, I won't mess with the bears then. I'll just go fishing.

[B]

Fishing? The summer is the worst time of the year to go fishing up there.

[D]

I was afraid of that.

[B]

That's when the deadly rattlesnakes come down to the water's edge to shed their rattles.

[D]

Holy mackerel. If the rattlesnakes loses their rattles, how they notify you when they about to strike?

[B]

Well, they don't send John L. Lewis around with no note, I can tell you that.

[D]

You know something, Kingfish? I think I'm going to call off the camping trip. I'll have to think of some other place to go on my vacation.

[B]

Now, you say you got $400 to spend, huh?

[D]

That's right. $400.

[B]

Sit down, brother Andy, and let me tell you about a cozy cottage in Care Free, Connecticut. Sit down here with me. What is this, Andy? You has called off your camping trip to the woods?

[D]

Yeah, Amos, my feature's too tender. Me being a neon light and everything. The bears have eaten me right out of my sleeping bag.

[B]

Now, Andy, what is you talking about? The bears eating you? What is that?

[D]

Oh, it's real dangerous. They comes down to the river every night to shed their zippers.

[B]

Shed their zippers?

[D]

Yeah, they do that cause they got permission from John L. Lewis.

[B]

I don't know what you're talking about, sir. You was all hot on this camping trip, Andy. What made you change your mind?

[D]

Well, Amos, I done bought a cozy cottage in Connecticut from the kingfish for $400.

[B]

Oh, the kingfish? Yeah, Well, I didn't know about this, Andy, but I tell you one thing, he was crazy to put up your money before you see the thing. Make sure he show you the place.

[D]

Yeah, that's right.

[C]

You was right.

[D]

I'm gonna call him right away.

[B]

Oh, sure, Andy. Don't let him sell you no pig in the poke.

[D]

Yeah, Amos, and I'll tell you one thing. This time, if he's trying to sell me a pig in the poke, I'm gonna give him a poke in the puss. I.

[C]

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[B]

Now listen, Andy. Hello? Hello? Look here, ain't no sense in shouting at me on the telephone. If you want to see the players, why, I'll let you see it. All right, Andy. All right, all right. We'll drive up there tomorrow. Okay, Goodbye. You want to see the players? What a dirty trick to play on me. Especially when I'll never be able to camouflage that dump. So we'll fall for it. Oh, me, I can't give him his money back, though. Cause if he.

[E]

Hiya, Kingfish.

[B]

Well, Algonquin. Jack Calhoun, how are you? Where you been, boy?

[E]

Oh, I've been over in the park, King Fish. There's a lot of excitement over there. They wrecked some fella for feeding the ducks and done throwed him in jail.

[B]

Throw them in jail for feeding the ducks? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

He was pulling them out of the water and feeding them to his Airdale.

[B]

I have a little trouble myself, Calhoun. I had a broken down cabin up in Connecticut and I sold it to Andy for $400. Now he want to see the players before we consummate a deal. You know what I mean?

[E]

Now, there's a sneaky thing for Andy to do. Ain't that the place you thought the people was gonna buy and put the hotel on?

[B]

Yeah, that's right. But the double Cross men. They built the Monmouth Hotel about a mile on the other side of that four lane highway. Yeah.

[E]

Wait a minute.

[B]

I think I done got an idea here. Yeah, What a. Now, looky here.

[E]

No, just suppose Andy were to think that the cabin was part of the. And he was entitled to all the hotel facilities.

[B]

Yeah, that was a great idea, boy. Yeah. Yeah. That's a big hotel with a swimming pool, tennis court, golf course and everything. Yeah. Yeah. That'll sell him on the place. And then by summertime I'll think of something else to stall him off.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. How you like that, Andy? Getting smart on me? The unexpected is always happening, ain't it, boy?

[E]

Yeah, I say it is. Why, just today I got a card from my cousin Murgatroyd.

[B]

Oh, yeah, your cousin Murgatroyd, the bobster. Yeah, yeah. Where is he now?

[E]

Well, Murgatroyd is over in Paris. It seemed that he and another hipster, a friend of his, was sitting having cocktails in one of them sidewalk cafes in Paris.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

All of a sudden there was a big explosion under the street and right before their eyes, two French workmen come flying out of an open manhole and went 90ft in the air.

[B]

90ft in the air?

[E]

Yeah. His friend turned to Murgatroyd and said, dig them two boys flying through the air. And Murgatroyd said, yeah, man, I wonder what they serving down there.

[D]

Well, Kingfish, I must say that this is a wonderful hotel up here. Hotel Monmouth.

[B]

Yeah. Of course, it ain't open yet for the summer any, but you can see it's a great place.

[D]

Oh, yeah, the nice hotel.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Any and if you meets a girl, when it comes to recreation, why, you can tennis court it or you can bridle path it or shuffleboard it.

[D]

Well, when it comes to smooching, Kingfish, I'd rather back porch it. Canoe it down by the summer houser. But listen, you say the cabin I done bought is on the grounds of the hotel, huh?

[B]

Oh, yes, Andy. Of course, your cabin is a little more private than these right here around the hotel. Right in what we call the vicinity.

[D]

Oh, yeah, there's.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

Yeah. I knows that you is the type of fellow that enjoys your privacy.

[D]

Yeah, But I found that I gets more of a kick out of my privacy if there's people around. Show me where the cabin is.

[B]

All right, Andy, roll up your pants leg and follow me. It's just a hop, skip and a jump from here. Just a hop, skip and a jump. Well, Andy, here we are.

[D]

Yeah, here, you lovely cabin Holy mackerel. What a trip. You say it was a hop, skip and a jump. We hopped over three barbed wire fences, skipped across a four lane highway just ahead of a Mack truck, and jumped over that drainage ditch to get you.

[B]

Yeah, well, it was worth the trip. Andy. There you is. There is your delightful rustic cabin.

[D]

That thing there with the holes in the walls and the roof half gone?

[B]

Well, it's designed that way, Andy. What they call Swiss cheese modern. In a place like that, you can commune with nature.

[D]

Commune with nature? The way that's falling apart, I ain't gonna be able to commune with the rain, the wind, the flies and the mosquitoes without ever leaving the house.

[B]

Well, come on and let's go in and look at the players. Come on. Look at.

[D]

Ok. Ok. Come on up on the porch. Holy mackerel, Kingfish. The boards and them steps is all loose.

[B]

Yeah, well, that's natural after the winter. Them steps just need a little tightening up. Open the door to Andy.

[D]

Yeah, That door need a little tightening up, too. Fell right off.

[B]

Well, it's made that way, Andy. It not only keeps the wind out, but it doubles as a surfboard case. You want aquaplane on it in the lake. You see what I mean? Now step inside, Andy. Get a load of this rustic splendor we got you.

[D]

Say, wait a minute, Kingfish. This place is a mile from the hotel. How's I gonna get any service over here?

[B]

Well, Andy, the hotel sends a chambermaid over every morning to dust up the place.

[D]

You mean she's gotta jump that barbed wire and cross that highway to get you?

[B]

Yeah, Andy. Of course, with the traffic lights and all the trucks whizzing by, you may miss a couple of changes of sheets during the summer. That's one of the joys of rustic living.

[D]

But look here. This is just one room with a stove. Don't the joys of rustic living include no bathroom?

[B]

Well, Andy, like I say, you use the facilities of the hotel.

[D]

You mean if I want to take a bath? I got a steeplechase across that highway in my bathrobe and slippers.

[B]

Yes, Andy, you can use any bathroom that's available. There's just one caution, though. If he walks in while another fella's taking a bath, it's against the rules of the hotel for you to climb in with him. You see what I mean?

[D]

Listen, Kingfish, I ain't gonna take the place.

[B]

Now, wait a minute, Andy. You done paid me the money. You done made a deal. This deal is closed. You can't get out of this?

[D]

Yeah, but wait a minute. When I made it, I didn't know this place was such a broke down dump.

[B]

Oh, didn't know it. Well, there you is. You're stuck right there. Don't forget, ignorance is nine points of the law. Oh, I got you, boy.

[D]

Yeah, that's right. Well, I guess if that's the law, there ain't nothing I can do about it.

[B]

Oh, you will love it up here to end.

[D]

Yeah, but I tell you, with that chambermaid getting held up in traffic with my sheets and me having to wait for the light to change to take a bath, look like I'm going to spend a pretty dirty summer.

[B]

Well, let me get on in my apartment here. I sure pulled a fast one on that ender. Hmm. Well, see, the mail is here. Just one letter. Let me see here. Mr. George Stephens. Dear sir, this is to inform you that we is expanding our present nine hole golf course and are interested in your property across the highway. We are prepared to pay you the sum of $3,000 for. Sam, kindly let us know at once if these terms meet with your approval. Signed to Monmouth Hotel corporation. Holy mackerel. $3,000. And I done sold it to Andy for 400. Let me get that boy on the phone and tell him that deal is off.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, me. As the Australians say, when the boomerang hit him in the back of the head, this thing has done took a turn for the worse. I just hope that. Hello, Andy, the kingfisher. About the cottage. The deal is off. I gotta have it back.

[D]

Well, I'd be glad to let you have it back, Kingfish, except for one little thing.

[B]

One little thing? What's that, Andy?

[D]

I don't change my mind about living up there and sold the place to a Mr. Theodore Nelson for $700.

[E]

Oh, now, wait a minute.

[C]

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[E]

Sounds wonderful. But it sounds tough, too.

[C]

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[E]

What all does the plan include?

[C]

Well, you get vitamins to keep your diet vitamins safe and delicious appetite reducing wafers for between meal hunger. Plus a complete beauty book with Many valuable tips on menus, health and beauty.

[E]

All this must be pretty expensive.

[C]

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[B]

Well, Andy, here's the cottage Mr. Nelson that you done sold it to must be up here now.

[D]

Yeah, that's right. That must be his car. He told the real estate people he gonna be working on the place all month, getting it in shape. Listen, you think this idea is gonna work and we'll get him out of here.

[B]

Well, it's gotta work, Andy. I can't lose that $3,000 that the hotel offered me.

[D]

Yeah, but trying to scare him out by telling him there's building an airport for jet planes on these fields around here. I don't know if that's gonna work or not.

[B]

Now listen, Andy, we got a break. You had a real estate company sell the place to him and he ain't never seed you.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

I go in first, like I said. And after I got him going, you bus in at the psychological moment.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. All right, go ahead. I'll hide out here by the stoop. See?

[E]

Come in.

[D]

Hmm.

[B]

Tightened up the door.

[C]

Yes. What can I do for you?

[B]

You must be Mr. Nelson, allow me to introduce myself. I is George Stevens, President General Manager of the Transcontinental Trans European Transocean and Transparent Airline.

[C]

Airline? Well, what has this got to do with me?

[B]

Oh, nothing, nothing. I just wanted to get acquainted since we gonna be neighbors.

[C]

Neighbors?

[B]

Oh yes. We is building an airport in the cow pasture next to you here. So it's only natural with your place being at the end of our Runway, why we ought to get acquainted.

[C]

What's this? My house is at the end of your Runway?

[B]

Oh yeah, of course. With the small pasture we got there, we only going to be able to have a Runway 80ft long. And with us flying the new jet transports off there, why we bound to run into each other sooner or later.

[C]

You mean to say that by my living here my house is in danger from your airplanes?

[B]

Well, I wouldn't say it was actually dangerous. But if you were sleeping here some night and one of them super jet engines starts climbing in bed, would you don't stop to shake hands with it, that's all.

[C]

Well, an airport way out here in the country. It just doesn't seem right to me.

[B]

Oh, I realize Ms. Nelson, it's a long way from the city, but that's the way we and the airlines do it. You see, we always put the airport way out in the country. That way we has to haul the people out there in our buses. Actually, the secret of the airline is they makes their money on the bus fare. The airplane's just a sideline.

[C]

Well, I just can't believe you're putting an airport out here.

[D]

Aye, a chief. Higher.

[B]

Well, well, well, now ain't this a coincidence. Now just look who walked in here. My head pilot. Excuse me, Mr. Nelson, I'd like to have you meet the head pilot of our airlines. Nearsighted Brown. How do you do?

[D]

Yeah, wilco. Roger. Contact. Keep your flaps down and all that stuff.

[B]

What is the trouble? Near sighted. I noticed that you're wearing a bandage on your head again.

[D]

Ah, same old trouble. Coming into LaGuardia Field, I overshot that 17,000 foot Runway again.

[B]

Overshot it hit anything this time? Yes, I didn't.

[D]

Yeah, I think so. But when I come back to the field I notice they had a three foot control tower. I wonder if I'm ever going to get the knack of landing them airplanes.

[C]

Hey, just a minute here. You mean you're a licensed pilot and you overshot the field?

[B]

Well now, Ms. Nelson, I can explain this whole thing to you. You see, he do it all the time. Last week on our Western flight. He missed Los Angeles completely.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I was lucky I had friends in Hawaii.

[B]

By the way Neil said it, I think you better be running along. I'm afraid all this talk about overshooting the field with the jets and stuff might have scared our neighbor Mr. Nelson here.

[D]

Yeah, well, so long Mr. Nelson. I'll be seeing you though.

[C]

You will?

[D]

Yeah. With your house so close to the Runway, me and my co pilot is bound to be dropping in on you one of these foggy nights.

[B]

Oh, great pilot, Brown. Oh yeah, considered one of the greatest pilots of all time. Once we get the right bifocals on him, he gonna be unbeatable that day.

[C]

Now look, I don't know what this is all about, but I'm not giving up this place. I paid $700 for it and I'm not giving it up.

[B]

Now look here, it's really a matter of life and death.

[C]

No, I plan on spending the summer up here. I'm going to put a lot of money in this place.

[B]

Well, look here, I tell you what I gonna do. I gonna make you a deal that you can't turn down. Tell you what I going to do. I like you, Ms. Nelson, and I going to give you your money back. No go. Well, now listen, I tell you what I going to do. I'll make it the highest price I can make you and, and this is my last offer. But you got to take it. I'll give you $1,000 if you vacate it right away.

[C]

$1,000?

[B]

Yes sir.

[C]

Well, let me see. Okay, but I want the cash by the first thing in the morning, no delay.

[B]

Yasir Yasser. I'll raise the money some way and I'll have it here the first thing in the morning. Yassir.

[D]

How do we make out, Kingfish?

[B]

Not so good, Andy. I had to agree to pay him a thousand dollars by the first thing in the morning.

[D]

Well, what's the difference? You still gonna be $2,000 ahead when we sells it to the hotel for the golf course. But listen, tell me this, where are you gonna get the money from? You has even spent the money that I paid you.

[B]

Now look here, and I gonna raise it some way I desperate. I can't miss out on this $3,000 offer from the Monmouth Hotel.

[D]

Yeah, but say, you know, there's just one thing that bothers me in this whole thing.

[B]

What is that?

[D]

And why would a hotel want to put a golf course so close to an airport?

[B]

Oh no. Well come on in my apartment, Andy. I want to tell Sapphire and Her mama about the big deal.

[D]

Yeah. You say you done raised $1,000 and paid Mr. Nelson to move out of the cabin, huh?

[B]

Well, yeah. Give him the money this morning. Now all I does is get a hold of the man that written me the letter from the Monmouth Hotel and I got all of 2,000 bucks to the good.

[E]

Is that you, George? Yeah. Is that you, Sky Top?

[B]

Watch me rubbing this big deal into them two old goats. Oh, yeah, it's me, girls.

[E]

See you got bird brain with you.

[D]

How you do, Miss Smith?

[B]

Oh, well, I got some news for you two gals. I done made $2,000 profit on that old broken down cabin. And all I had to do was to raise a thousand bucks to get it. I was going in and called the man who writ me the letter.

[E]

Now, hear that, Mama? Ain't that a howl?

[B]

A howl?

[E]

Yeah, you poor SAP. I wanted to play a joke on you. I writ you that letter offering you the $3,000 and I signed it to Monmouth Hotel.

[B]

What?

[E]

Ain't that a good. Yes. Yes, Mama sure put a fast one on you, George. Come on, daughter, let's start dinner.

[D]

They sure is laughing it up, ain't they, Kingfish?

[B]

I got an idea. A lot of the Yuma's gonna go out of the joke when they find out the way I raised a thousand bucks.

[D]

How'd you do it?

[B]

I pawned Mama's $2,500 diamond.

[C]

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[B]

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, don't forget to

[C]

visit your Rexall family drugstore. Thank you and good night.

[D]

See you next Sunday. Yes, sir.

[C]

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[E]

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[C]

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[E]

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[C]

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[A]

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