Amos & Andy - Leroy's Two Week Visit

Summary

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Episode Summary: "Amos & Andy - Leroy's Two Week Visit"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Air Date: March 25, 2026
Episode Length: ≈29 minutes (excluding ads)

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Main Theme & Purpose

This classic episode of "Amos & Andy" revolves around domestic chaos and comic schemes, sparked by the two-week stay of Sapphire’s brother, Leroy, at the Kingfish's apartment. The central plot features Kingfish’s increasingly desperate attempts to profit from a radio quiz show’s "Secret Melody" contest – and to rid himself of his troublesome brother-in-law once and for all. Woven throughout are memorable community moments, catchy musical interludes, and a satirical look at get-rich-quick schemes, radio culture, and mid-century American life.

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Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. Family Turmoil: Leroy’s Visit

• [01:46] Sapphire is worried Leroy hasn’t come home, setting the scene for Kingfish’s grievances about his brother-in-law’s extended stay.
• Leroy’s nitpicking—complaining about starch in shirt collars—sets Kingfish over the edge.
• Quote [02:18]:
  Kingfish: “That's the last straw. That goofy brother of yours has got to get out of here.”

2. Leroy Gets a Job – More Trouble for Kingfish

• [02:22] Sapphire reveals Leroy is now a janitor, which Kingfish sees as an embarrassment rather than a solution.
• Quote [02:34]:
  Kingfish: “They gonna say, if one of them bums can get a job, why can't the other?”

3. The Secret Melody Contest

• Kingfish’s latest "business" is obsessively listening to a radio quiz ("Secret Melody") for a $2,000 prize.
• Comic banter with Henry about the chances of winning, poking fun at Kingfish’s lack of industry and intelligence.
• Quote [03:02]:
  George Stevens (Sapphire): “Well, a fat panther dumbbell like you has of ever winning anything like that.”

4. A Scheme is Hatched: Approaching the Musician

• [05:05] Kingfish and Henry conspire to trick Charlie Jackson, a banjo player in the contest’s orchestra, by pretending to be talent scouts from the Metropolitan Opera.

• This sequence is rich in role-playing humor and flawed improvisation, exposing their ineptitude.

• Quote [05:54]:
  Kingfish: “We was passing [Tibbet]’s house one day, heard him singing in the shower bath. We rushed in, signed him up right then and there!”

• Jackson sees through the ruse when they press for the song’s title:

• Quote [08:35]:
  Charlie Jackson: "Oh, so that's what you fellas was after. I knew there was something fishy about this. Listen, you big bum, get out of here!"

5. Leroy’s New Leverage

• [08:45] Leroy reenters, now working as a janitor at the radio station – and knows the Secret Melody’s name.
• He offers to sell the answer to Kingfish for $100 (he can’t enter the contest himself).
• Quote [09:37]:
  Leroy: “I'll let you have it for a hundred bucks.”

6. Desperate Fundraising

• [14:03] Kingfish tries (and fails) to borrow $100 from Shorty, sparking a hilarious riff on friendships and loans.

• Kingfish then schemes to trick Andy into donating under the false pretense of collecting campaign funds for presidential candidates.

• Quote [17:03]:
  Kingfish: “We sent [Truman] six bucks and he bought Margaret a pair of brass knuckles.”

• Andy falls for the trick, writes a check, but is quickly warned by Amos and tries to cancel payment.

• Quote [20:09]:
  Andy: "But Andy, you is crazy. That Kingfish ain't got nothing to do with no campaign fun. He just ji you out of $100."

7. Double-Crosses and the Secret Melody Answer

• Leroy sells the answer to Andy instead when Kingfish’s plan collapses.
• Kingfish learns Andy paid Leroy $100 for the answer.
• Kingfish then tries to discourage Andy by concocting stories about tax laws and the government taking 100% of contest winnings.
• Quote [24:38]:
  Kingfish: “The tax now is 100%, maybe more. All the cash money that is won in these contests goes straight down to Washington.”

8. The Big Reveal & Final Twist

• Kingfish submits the contest answer, expecting the windfall.
• [27:36] The radio show representative arrives to announce that Kingfish guessed correctly—but since Leroy sold the answer to 225 people, the prize is only $8.79.
• Quote [27:46]:
  Radio Rep: "Your share is $8.79."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kingfish's frustration over household changes for Leroy:
  [02:18] “That goofy brother of yours has got to get out of here.”

• Comedic banter about job shame:
  [02:34] “If one of them bums can get a job, why can't the other?”

• The Metropolitan Opera ‘audition’ farce:
  [06:48] “We rushed him right down to the Metropolitan.”
  [08:35] “I knew there was something fishy about this.”

• Kingfish’s campaign fund scam:
  [17:03] “We sent him six bucks and he bought Margaret a pair of brass knuckles.”

• Taxes on prizes satire:
  [24:38] “The tax now is 100%, maybe more...”

• Final moment of defeat:
  [27:46] “Your share is $8.79.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Highlight | |------------|-------------------------------------------------------| | [01:46] | Domestic troubles with Leroy’s visit | | [02:22] | Leroy becomes a janitor; Kingfish bemoans the shame | | [03:00] | Secret Melody contest introduced | | [05:05] | Kingfish and Henry “visit” Charlie Jackson | | [08:35] | Scheme backfires; musician throws out the pair | | [09:37] | Leroy offers contest answer for $100 | | [14:03] | Kingfish fails to borrow money from Shorty | | [16:12] | Kingfish cons Andy out of $100 for “campaign funds” | | [20:09] | Amos warns Andy; attempts to stop the check | | [21:13] | Leroy’s double-cross: sells answer to Andy | | [24:38] | Kingfish discourages Andy with invented tax story | | [27:36] | Kingfish learns the prize has been split: $8.79 |

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Episode Tone, Style & Original Flavor

The episode is a fast-paced, gag-packed comedy radiating the irreverent, quippy tone of classic "Amos & Andy." The back-and-forth banter, elaborate con schemes, and musical numbers highlight the slapstick and playfully cynical worldview. The dialogue is rife with wordplay, social satire, and gentle mockery of radio-era America, employment woes, and politics.

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Takeaways

• Classic radio comedy: “Leroy’s Two Week Visit” delivers a comic send-up of easy money schemes and family squabbles—timeless themes, played with unbeatable chemistry by the cast.
• Clever satire: From radio contests and fast-talking hucksters to contemporary politics, the episode lampoons the trust and gullibility of the public as well as the reckless dreams of quick fortune.
• Memorable twist: The much-hyped $2,000 prize is split so thin that it lampoons both the folly of mass-market contests and the get-rich-quick attitude of the era.

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For listeners and fans of radio’s golden age, this episode is a charming blend of sharp humor, inimitable performances, and a glimpse into the dreams and schemes that animated American households around the radio.

Transcript

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[Kingfish]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

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By Sunday.

[Kingfish]

Well, it is Sunday.

[Andy]

You see, Dandy.

[Kingfish]

We is on the radio now every Sunday on CBS for Rinso.

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

That's right, Rinso. The new Rinso with Solium brings you the Amos and Andy show.

[Kingfish]

Yes, sir.

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

Rinso, the soap that contains solium, the sunlight ingredient, brings you a full half hour of entertainment with Lulubin, Eddie Green, Ernestine Wade, Jeff Alexander's orchestra and chorus and Rad, your all time favorites, Amos and Andy. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Rinzo invite you to sit back, relax and enjoy Amos and Andy. Well, there's been some activity of Kingfish and Sapphire Stevens. Sapphire's brother Leroy has come to New York and for the past two weeks has been living in their apartment. At the moment, Sapphire is in the kitchen as the Kingfish walks in.

[George Stevens]

George, have you seen Leroy? He ain't come home yet.

[Kingfish]

No, he ain't, huh?

[George Stevens]

No, I ain't seen him all day. What if anything could have happened to him?

[Kingfish]

Well, I don't know. Do you want me to call the morgue, see if they got any good news for us?

[George Stevens]

You're talking about my brother George.

[Kingfish]

Oh, no. Just skip it, honey. Skip it. What you doing here in the kitchen this time of day?

[George Stevens]

Just sorting out the laundry. And by the way, I just want to tell you that I ain't having no more starch put in your shirt collars.

[Henry]

Why not?

[George Stevens]

Well, Leroy says they scratches his neck.

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute here. That's the last straw. That goofy brother of yours has got to get out of here.

[George Stevens]

Don't you talk that way about my brother. At least he went out today and got himself a job. He's working as a janitor.

[Kingfish]

Working as a janitor?

[George Stevens]

Yes.

[Kingfish]

Well, that's going to disgrace me with the nipple.

[George Stevens]

What you mean disgrace you?

[Kingfish]

Well, they gonna say if one of them bumps can get a job, why can't the other?

[George Stevens]

Well, George, why don't you go out and get a job? I'm sick of you loping around here.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, I can't right now. I got reporting business.

[Andy]

What business is that?

[Kingfish]

Well, I gotta listen to the radio and see if I can guess the name of a song. They got a program on the radio called the Secret Melody Program that goes on every day. Now whoever guesses the name of that song they've been playing on the radio wins the $2,000 cash prize.

[George Stevens]

Well, a fat panther dumbbell like you has of ever winning anything like that.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute. Don't you call me no dumbbell. Back home I was well thought of everybo. I had brains down in Georgia.

[George Stevens]

Well, if you ask me, it's high time you sent for.

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute. So that's the story, Henry. I've been knocking the br. Try trying to guess that secret melody, but I ain't getting no clear to the thing.

[Henry]

Well, you must remember King Face, you was an amateur. You know, most of them quiz contests is won by professional quiz links.

[Kingfish]

Oh yeah, but if I could win the thing, I'd get $2,000 out of it.

[Henry]

2,000? A hunk of cabbage like that would

[Kingfish]

certainly stave off the grim spectrum of gainful employment. You know, Henry, there must be somebody who knows the name of that song that I could get it from. Well, I don't think so, Kingfish.

[Henry]

I imagine the only ones that know it is the musicians that plays in the orchestra on the program.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, I guess you're right. Say, Kingfish, wait a minute here.

[Henry]

It just occurs to me that one

[Kingfish]

of their musicians happens to live at

[Henry]

Mrs. Simpson's boarding house.

[Kingfish]

Fella by the name of Charlie Jackson. Hey, wait a minute, Henry, you done said something there. Maybe I could get the name of the song from this fellow Jackson.

[Henry]

Yes, but how would you go about it?

[Kingfish]

Well, I figure something. I'll get Andy to help me. We'll go over and see this fellow Jackson and work some scheme. Oh, you know something, Henry? If I get that $2,000, the first thing I gonna do is to kick that no good brother in law of mine over my apartment.

[Henry]

Oh, that's right. You have got your brother in law

[Kingfish]

Leroy Smith sandwich, ain't you? Well, you're lucky it ain't your mother

[Henry]

in law day is even worse.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, I guess the is all right. Oh yes, with me it started the

[Henry]

very day that I married my wife Clara. We were stuck with Clara's mother for years. I tell you, it was terrible living all that time in the same house as my mother in law. And many is the time I was tempted to throw her out.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well why didn't you do it?

[Henry]

I couldn't. It was her house.

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, now this is Charlie Jackson's room right here. Now remember, to get the name of the secret melody out of him, we got to make him make believe that we as talent skills from the opera.

[Henry]

Yeah, I got you, Cap.

[Kingfish]

All right, I'll knock on the door

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

and you're going to cut me in on the problem.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, and don't forget now back me up with all these stars. We done discovering all that stuff. How you do, sir. By any chance, could this be the renowned musician Mr. Charlie Jackson?

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Well, Charlie Jackson is my name.

[Kingfish]

Ms. Jackson, we is from the Metropolitan.

[Henry]

Yeah, we're the biggest life insurance company in the business.

[Kingfish]

No, no, no, be from the Metropolitan opera. Come there, Ms. Jackson, you ask Ms. Brown, you're even sitting a little too near to bed some. You know. You say you is from the opera? Yeah, so that's right. I is the head imperatorial. And this here is my Chief Scout here, Mr. Carter Brown. Glad to know you.

[Henry]

You're welcome.

[Kingfish]

Now, Mr. Johnson, we as done heard you play on the radio and we come to offer you a job with the Metropolitan Opera Company. Me? A job like that? That must pay big money. Oh, it does. He gets a hundred dollars of performance plus everything to throw up on the stage there. Now wait a minute. Just. You ain't really talent scouts, is you? We ain't talent scouts. You say that about men. That has discovered and developed the greatest tenor of all time, John Charles Tibbetts. Well, gentlemen, all this has been happening so fast. Well now that's just the way we work. Fast. We is fast. Well, you take the case to Tibbet. We was passing his house one day yet and singing in the shower bath. We rushed in signed to up right then and there. We rushed him right down to the Metropolitan.

[Henry]

Yeah, and he sung his first role while he was still soaking wet.

[Kingfish]

Oh, I tell you, Ms. Jackson, Metropolitan is after new blood, you see. It is, eh?

[Henry]

Yeah, and it might as well be yours too.

[Kingfish]

Well, this is all very flattering, but you do you know what instrument that I play? Well, who cares with all them Italians screaming and shouting on the stage. You gonna hear the music anyway. Well, all the same, I didn't know that they used my instrument indoors.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Opera.

[Kingfish]

I play hot banjo.

[Henry]

Well, listen, nobody cares where you got the banjo so long as you can play it.

[Kingfish]

Now, Ms. Jackson, before we sign you up here, we require what they call in the opera in the Big league they are. Sort of a short audition. I got my banjo right here. Pick it up there. Now, let me see, what will I play? Yeah, well now it don't matter. Just pick out any tune at Ransom. Hey, how about that song you play on the radio program every day? I think they call it the Secret Melody or something like that. Okay, the Secret Melody. Yeah. Well, here we go. Well, get started. Started?

[Henry]

I already finished.

[Kingfish]

What you talking about? There's all there is to the banjo part. You see, we got a 12 piece orchestra and every musician just gets the music for his own part.

[Henry]

Now the baner part is.

[Kingfish]

Play that again, will you? That's very good, Mr. Jackson. Lot of feeling in there especially. They crescendo into the abada there. Thanks. Yeah, well, now that qualifies you for the metropolit. Except for one thing. Now to prove that you got a good ear, what is the title of the thing you just cleaved? That secret melody?

[Andy]

It.

[Kingfish]

Oh, the title of. Oh, so that's what you fellas was after. I know there was something fishy about this. Listen, you big bum, get out of here. Beat it, whatever you do. Oh, hello there, Leroy. I see you home already. Hi, you brother in law. Well, do I hear that you got a job as a janitor? Yeah, I got a job at the radio station down here on Lenox Avenue. You mean the radio station where they running that secret Melody contest? That's right. And you know something, Kingfish? I know it's the name of the song. You does? Yeah, but it don't do me no good. Cause the employees at the radio station ain't allowed to enter the contest. Well, dear daughter and brother in law, I love you. I love you. Look here, how about you giving me the answer? Well, I wouldn't be honest. But since you is my dear brother in law, I'll let you have it

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

for a hundred bucks.

[Kingfish]

A hundred bucks? Now look, Leroy, look here, serious. Now, I ain't got the money right now. But I tell you what, give me till tomorrow and I'll have the hundred dollars for you. Okay, Kingfish, then I'll give you the name of the secret melody. Oh, that's great, boy. When I get that $2,000 prize money,

[Chorus/Singer]

I go in a rise way up in the sky like a great big star and shine. Rise and shine. You gotta rise and shine. Stand up and make it rise and shine.

[Andy]

Life what you make it if gloom

[Kingfish]

that so and so should get you as he soon does.

[Chorus/Singer]

Shout, hide, hide, ho and do just as the moon does. Don't be a glamour. Things are fine around the corner. There's no unkindness, there's nothing to it, you can do it light the sun light and shining.

[Kingfish]

Come on little chillin Come on little

[Chorus/Singer]

chillin now just you see your lamps clean and burned and bright.

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

Oh, you know it is a year

[Chorus/Singer]

for the jubilee all rise, shine Give God the glory, glory. Rise and shine. Give God the glory, glory. Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory. For the year of the jubilee Sight and shine. Sight and shine

[Andy]

it soon that so

[Kingfish]

and so should get you as he soon does.

[Chorus/Singer]

Shout hide ho ho and do just as the moon does. Don't be a mourner around the corner. You can do it like the sun you know you gotta rise and shine.

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[Liberty Mutual Announcer]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving.

[Therapist]

And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset.

[Liberty Mutual Announcer]

So enjoy this 14 second session on us.

[Therapist]

I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available, and so on.

[Liberty Mutual Announcer]

And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too.

[Henry]

Liberty.

[Kingfish]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Cole Swindell]

Hey, it's Cole Swindell. After I give everything I've got to land a perfect vocal, I usually take five before jumping into the next track. And I've learned exactly how to recharge. In that time, some folks grab coffee, I hit a quick good luck spin. Next thing you know, the break is just as fun as laying down the track. A better break makes for a better take.

[Henry]

Need a break?

[Cole Swindell]

Let's Chumba.

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[Kingfish]

Well, hello there, Shorty. How you feeling today? Hi.

[Andy]

My blood pressure is up to. I got student pills in my breath. I got. Oh, I can't complain.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, now, say, Shorty, look here. I need a hundred dollars to pry the name of a secret melody. Now, could you lend it to me?

[Andy]

Listen, Kentwigs, every time I see you, you get me. And it always cost me money.

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute, Shorty.

[Andy]

You know borrowing money breaks up friendships. We've been pals for years. If I was to lend you $100, then you'd owe it to me. And you'd start avoiding me. You'd never speak to me. You stopped coming in my barbershop. Why, you'd even cross the street when you saw me. Why you. You know, King think it's almost worth a hundred dollars.

[Kingfish]

So here, go give us some, huh, Shorty?

[Andy]

I'm sorry, King. Money's too scarce these days. But I. I hear that even the presidential candidates are feeling the pain.

[Kingfish]

Oh, what you mean? Well, they have.

[Andy]

They have. They have spent all their money. Come campaigners. You know, it cost them predator to go around traveling around the country making speeches like that.

[Kingfish]

Somebody ought to take up a collection for them fellows. Collection? Hey, wait a minute. That give me an idea here how to raise a hundred. If I could convince Andy that I has been appointed special collector for the presidential candidate. Maybe he'd come across with some money.

[Andy]

It's certainly worth a trial.

[Kingfish]

I'll go over to the office now and I'll catch Andy and. Or this political angle might be just the thing with everybody talk about voting and everything.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what my family's been discuss discussing for weeks. Yeah, and bright and early election morning we'll all be down to polls to vote.

[Kingfish]

All except my father. Well, why ain't he voting, Shorty?

[Andy]

Well, he. He said the issues in this campaign is that. He said the way the party system works. He said the international situation, he can't make a day.

[Kingfish]

Well, hello there, brother Andrew.

[Henry]

Yeah, hello there, King Fish. How are you?

[Kingfish]

How are you, brother Andrew? I'm glad you dropped in. Just about to call you on the phone.

[Henry]

Oh, something new happen on that secret melody contest?

[Kingfish]

Oh, no, no. And I ain't got no more time to mug you with that contest. I Done give that thing up. Our business now. Collecting campaign funds for the presidential candidate. And I got your name on my list here. I got you down for $100.

[Henry]

Is you gone crazy? What Must. Why must I give that much money to any campaign fund?

[Kingfish]

Well, patriotism, Andrew.

[Henry]

Yeah, for the hundred dollars.

[Kingfish]

Well, certainly you was that patriotic. Benedict Arnold's grandson just sent in 200. Well, listen, which one of the candidates

[Henry]

is you collecting for anyway?

[Kingfish]

Well, all of them, man. You see, they all spent so much money on the presidential campaign that they're all flat busted.

[Henry]

You mean this down there? Dewey and Truman and all the rest of them is broken.

[Kingfish]

And look here, Mr. Truman's campaign fund is so loaded for the past two weeks he ain't been able to afford no secret service men to guard him.

[Henry]

Holy. No fooling. Ain't he getting no protection?

[Kingfish]

We're lucky that our fund was able to help out a little. We sent him six bucks and he bought Margaret a pair of brass knuckles.

[Henry]

The candidates done clear out of money, huh?

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah. You take Governor Dewey. Now, the other night he wanted Madison Square Garden to make a speech in. He could only raise half the rent for the place.

[Henry]

He didn't let him have it, huh?

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Dewey got in there already, but he had to speak in the between the rounds of a boxing match.

[Henry]

Oh, yeah, he was talking from the ring, huh? Yeah, but did he make a good speech?

[Kingfish]

Hard to tell. He got knocked out in the eighth round, huh?

[Henry]

Well, I guess with iron halls and all that stuff, them candidates is got a lot of Spencers all right.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, getting it to me and egg stands off the clothes alone going to run them eight, $900, you know. Yeah, that's right.

[Henry]

That's right. They've really been throwing a lot of vegetables this year, ain't they?

[Kingfish]

Well, of course, with the candidates running short of money the way it is, why they don't mind getting that free food pitched at them so much. Matter of fact, one candidate made his last three speeches with a deep freeze unit right on the platform with him. He was packing himself in there fast

[Henry]

as he was doing. Well, tell me this, Kingfish. If I helped out by donating to these candidates, do I get anything out of it?

[Kingfish]

Well, naturally. And the winning candidate will remember you at the election. For a hundred dollars, I think I might be able to ran for you to get a job as director of the mint.

[Chorus/Singer]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry]

Say, a job like that must pay pretty good, huh?

[Kingfish]

Well, actually, you. They don't pay no regular salary, but I think you make out already. Andy, you see the official mint Director's uniform got 26 pockets in it and your take home pay is terrific.

[Henry]

Yeah, boy, that sounds like a job for me. Well, I ain't got the cash. Would me, Kingfisher? I'll tell you what, I'll write you a check here now for 100 bucks.

[Kingfish]

Andy, you'll never regret it. Now you will be a national hero. Might even end up being buried in Grant's tomb.

[Henry]

Yeah, boy, that's great. I'd like to do that right now, you know.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Now here's a 10 with some ink in it. Anders. Sit down, dad. That's it. Now write out the check. Now as soon as you write it, I'll go down to bank and deposit in the campaign fund. Okay? Oh, hello Amos. Hello everybody.

[Henry]

Hi, Amos.

[Kingfish]

I don't pay no attention to it, man, you keep writing down.

[Chorus/Singer]

Yeah.

[Kingfish]

What is you writing there? Oh, a check. Who is you writing that then? Well, by the way Amos, how's all your children? Oh, they're fine, King three fine, thank you. Say Andy, who you writing to?

[Henry]

Check this, Amos. I'm doing this for my country. I'm going to be buried in grand student Benedict Arnold.

[Kingfish]

Now look, Andy, now you got it all written there. Just sign your name on a check and we was all set.

[Chorus/Singer]

Okay.

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, I see you're writing a check there for $100. That's a lot of money.

[Henry]

Yeah, we got a lot of candidates.

[Kingfish]

Where is the check going?

[Henry]

Well, I'm.

[Kingfish]

Don't tell him, man. The emos ain't on my list. What kind of lift? All signed, Andy. Good. Now I'll take the check down now and right to the bank.

[Henry]

Wait a minute, Kingfish. The ink on it ain't dry.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, I go run to the bank. The breeze will dry it off.

[Henry]

You see, Amos, the Kingfish is collecting for all the candidates campaign funds. And I get the political job no matter who gets hit with a tomato.

[Kingfish]

But Andy, you is crazy. That Kingfish ain't got nothing to do with no campaign fun. He just ji you out of $100. If I was you Andy, I'd stop payment on that check.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Yeah, he done ji me.

[Henry]

Let me get on that telephone here and call the bank. That Kingfish tell me I'm going to work in the mint and take my salary home in a deep freez.

[Kingfish]

Well, hello there, Leroy. How is my dear brother in law? Fine, Kingfish. Sapphire ain't home yet. Say, Leroy dear, about that $100 that I was going to raise by the name of that secret melody from you. I almost had it, but you stopped the payment on the check on me just a second ahead of time. If I'd have had on sneakers, I'd have made it. Well, you can forget it, Kingfish. Don't worry about the money. Yeah, Watch me, Leroy. Well, I got tired of waiting for you, so I sold the name of the secret melody to a fellow by the name of Andrew Brown. Well, now, wait a minute. You can't do that.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

You know, we have a playroom in our cellar where I have my workshop and the kids keep their toys. But once a week it's reserved strictly for Mrs. Lake. On Wash day, if it rains, or if it even looks like rain, that's where she hangs the wash. That's where it dries with that beautiful new Rinsel. Brilliant.

[Henry]

Yes.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Even if they're dried indoors, Rinso washed white clothes turn out whiter than new and gay washable colors even brighter than brand new. Now, it's because new Rinso contains solium, the amazing scientific sunlight ingredient. Rain or shine, Rinso gives you a wash not just water, but whiter than new. And not just brighter, but brighter than brand new. Even yellows and grayed clothes come whiter than brand new.

[Kingfish]

Now.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

You better try Renzo yourself. I'm sure you're going to say new Rinso with solium gives all your wash a brilliance and beauty you've never seen before. New Rinso is safe for clothes so kind to hand. Ask the man's your store for new Rinseau with solium.

[Kingfish]

Well, soon war the lawyers.

[Henry]

I know.

[Kingfish]

I saw you. You ain't too busy with the presidential election?

[Andy]

I ain't interested in politics this time, see, but four years ago, election time,

[Kingfish]

I really got out.

[Andy]

You know, I was right in the

[Kingfish]

middle of the political campaign myself. Well, I can't picture you in politics.

[Andy]

I made a smart move, too. Went all over the neighborhood.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, kissing babies and kissing young girls and kissing mothers. And I went all through my district, kissing and kissing.

[Chorus/Singer]

Yeah.

[Kingfish]

Tell me this. What was you running for, Sumo Moore?

[Andy]

I wasn't running for nothing. I just. I would have smooches.

[Kingfish]

Oh, Well, now, look, Stonewall. Andy done got the answer to that big secret Melody radio contest. And I want it for myself. I look like Andy gonna win the thing, get himself $2,000. I can't let that slip through my fingers. What can I do, Stonewall?

[Andy]

Well, Kingfish, if Andy wins $2,000, he won't get to keep all of it.

[Kingfish]

The Government will grab a big percentage for taxes. Taxes, taxes. Hey, wait a minute, Stonewall. I think you done give me angle there. I'll go over and tell Andy that the government will take a big percentage for taxes and he might get undisrecurred and I might be able to get the name of the secret melody out of it. Well, you're all set. You know, speaking of these giveaway programs, they're beginning to cut into my law practice. What you mean S?

[Andy]

Well, three of my most dependable clients

[Kingfish]

have gone out of business. They say if you can get the stuff from nothing on the radio, why bother to steal it?

[Henry]

Hello there, Kingfish. What are you doing sitting here in the lodge with that big smile on your face?

[Kingfish]

Well, and I just sitting here thinking how lucky me and you is that we ain't got no chance of winning that secret melody contest.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Kingfish, excuse me for protruding.

[Henry]

I don't want to be ignorant about this thing, but just why as we lucky?

[Kingfish]

Why is we lucky? Well, ain't you here to both. The new tax the government has on all the prizes that's won in these contests.

[Henry]

They got a tax on that now. How much is the tax, cases?

[Kingfish]

Well, the tax now is 100%, maybe more. And all the. All the cash money that is won in these contests go straight down to Washington.

[Henry]

Down to Washington? Well, what do they want with all the money down there?

[Kingfish]

They revised it up under the. What is known as the federal split the loot plan.

[Henry]

Well, what do they need more money for? Don't the government have enough taxes already?

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, it takes a lot of money to run a big country like this. For instance, down in Washington, they spend at least $2 million a week printing all them pamphlets.

[Henry]

What kind of pamphlets?

[Kingfish]

Pamphlets. They explain why it costs so much to print the pamphlets.

[Henry]

They really gives us service all right, don't they?

[Kingfish]

Oh, sure. And the government needs money for Social Security. That. That runs them way up in the big figures.

[Henry]

Hey, tell me something, King, please.

[Chorus/Singer]

Just what is that Social Security stuff?

[Kingfish]

Oh, that's a big help too, ain't there? When you were 65 and can't work no more, they got it fixed so that you get just enough money to starve to death the rest of your life. You know, Andy, Andy, government needs money for the unemployment insurance.

[Henry]

Yes.

[Kingfish]

Or if it wasn't for that, half the people in this country was. Would be forced to go to work or. I tell you.

[Henry]

You know, King Fish, it's things like this that makes me proud to be an American.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, and can't you see that by winning the contest you would end up worth all than he is now?

[Henry]

Oh, yeah. This is a mess, all right. I sorry. I paid Leroy $100 for the answer to that thing. You know, you.

[Kingfish]

You bought the answer from Leroy Ander. Well, this is a surprise for me. So you going to win the country? Well, my deepest sympathy, Andrew.

[Henry]

You know, from all you have told me, Kingfish, I am really sorry that I know that that secret melody is the Egyptian love song.

[Kingfish]

E tips and love song. Yeah, well, I got to be running along. See you later, Andy. Hey, wait a minute.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Wait a minute.

[Kingfish]

Come here.

[Henry]

I'll go with you.

[Kingfish]

I'll go with you. What's the matter?

[Henry]

Well, you know, on second thought, I think I'll check into this tax business a little further and see if there's any loopholes in the thing.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, wait a minute, Andy. Wait a minute.

[Andy]

Don't go.

[Kingfish]

Look here. Seeing that you is ungodly out of a hundred bucks by a blood relative of mine who is also in the family, it. I going to refund you the money so as not to be smut the proud name of Steven. I tell you what, I'll pour some money on my furniture and give you the $100 right away.

[Henry]

Good kingfish, you as a pal.

[Kingfish]

Yeah.

[Chorus/Singer]

Sir.

[Kingfish]

Say, King, please. What you doing here at the lodge

[Henry]

hall this late today?

[Kingfish]

Well, I tell you, Henry, I done inviggled the secret melody out of Andy and I sent it into the radio radio station 2, three days ago. And the contest ended today. And I already hear almost anytime now.

[Henry]

Well, that's wonderful. It looks like you're going to be a rich man, Gentry.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah. Boy, I sure like to see Andy when he hears I won the $2,000. Come in.

[Henry]

I'm looking for George Stevens.

[Kingfish]

Yes, sir, that's me. That's me.

[Henry]

Oh, well, I'm from the Secret Melody radio program.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yes, sir. Yeah.

[Henry]

I'm happy to inform you, Mr. Stevens, that you've correctly guessed our secret melody.

[Kingfish]

Aruna.

[Henry]

Yes, yes, I have the check for you right here.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, I said. Well, it was sheer Brain work, mister. Sure, brain work. And that $2,000 check you got that going to come in mighty handy office.

[Henry]

Well, Mr. Stevens, the prize is $2,000, but it seems that a former janitor of ours, Leroy Smith, sold The enter to 225 other people. And your share is $8.79.

[Kingfish]

Andy, maybe you've noticed when I announce that John Lake talks about Rinso, he don't talk big about it. He just tells you the facts about how good it is.

[Henry]

Yeah, well, that's all he got to do. Just get people to use that new Rinso with sodium just once. And I guess they stick to Rinso.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Well, I'm sure they do because Rinso with sodium gets quite clothes not just whiter, but whiter than new and washable colors. Not just brighter, but brighter than brand new. Rain or shine, indoors or out. New Rinso with solium. Put sunshine in your wash. Use Rinso next wash day Tuesday.

[Kingfish]

You have the great American privilege of voting. No one will know who you voted for. That is your secret and sacred privilege.

[Henry]

Privilege.

[Kingfish]

So exercise. Vote Tuesday. Good night, folks.

[Henry]

See you next Sunday.

[Kingfish]

This is religious book. No booksellers have religious books of all

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

faiths, Protestant, Catholic and Jewish.

[Kingfish]

Religious books should be part of your

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

home and your children's education.

[Kingfish]

Be sure to be with us next

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

Sunday at the same time when Lever Brothers company, the makers of new Rimto with Tholium, will again present the Amos and Andy Show. Until then, good night to all of

[Henry]

you from all of us.

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

Amazing.

[Kingfish]

Yes, but doctors approved it.

[Announcer (Rinso Soap)]

Life Boy health soap in your daily bath. Get skin cleaner stops BO as no other leading soap can get Life Boy right away.

[Radio Announcer (Amos and Andy Show)]

Be sure and listen to the Amos and Andy show at the same time Next next Sunday. This is CBS, where 99 million people gather every week. The Columbia Broadcasting System.

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[Therapist]

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