Amos & Andy - Man's Best Friend - Harold's Old Time Radio

Transcript

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Narrator (0:36)

Good evening. The makers of the new Rinso bring you the Amos and Andy show with their guest tonight, the Metro Goldwyn Mayor featured player soon to be seen in Lost Angel, Mr. Donald Meek. Our story opens tonight in the office of Mr. Andrew H. Brown. In cleaning up his office today, he uncovered an old book of poems which he borrowed two years ago from a friend. He's reading a poem to Amos.

Andy Brown (1:22)

There are times when only a dog will do when you're beaten, sick and blue he lets you know as he licks your hands that he's downright sorry and understand that's true all right. Yeah, but sometimes them poets layin on too heavy. There's a good thought, I guess, in this piece of portrait. And I is crazy about dogs. But I'm gonna tell you something. Dogs ain't nothing like real friends.

Amos (1:48)

Well, whatever kind of friend a dog is though, Andy, at least you can count on him. He don't change on you.

Henry Van Forder (1:54)

But with people.

Amos (1:54)

Well, I always say that if a man can have one or two real friends in his lifetime, he's lucky.

Andy Brown (2:00)

Oh, what you talking about, amos? One or two friends? I got 50 real friends now.

Amos (2:06)

Oh, I ain't talking about people that you know. I talking about somebody that will stick to you through thick and thin if you got money or ain't got money.

Summary

Amos & Andy – "Man’s Best Friend"

Podcast: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Date: March 26, 2026
Episode Theme:
A classic comedic episode centered on the timeless theme of friendship versus material gain—can you really depend on people as true friends, or are they only interested when you have something to offer? Andy decides to test the loyalty of his friends by starting a rumor that he’s inherited a large fortune, quickly discovering just how “friendly” his circle becomes when money enters the picture.

Episode Overview

Setting: The episode is set around Andy’s office and home, then shifts to the hospital, featuring the main cast (Andy, Amos, Kingfish, Henry Van Porter, Lightning) with guest star Donald Meek.
Purpose: Through a humorous plotline, the show explores whether a man’s best friend is truly his dog—or supposedly loyal human companions.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. The "True Friends" Debate

(00:36–02:47)

Andy reads a poem admiring dogs’ loyalty but claims:

“I is crazy about dogs. But I'm gonna tell you something. Dogs ain't nothing like real friends.” (Andy Brown, 01:32)
Amos and Henry Van Porter argue back, emphasizing that a genuine friend is rare and constant, unlike opportunistic acquaintances.
Andy sets the terms of the episode’s “test”—he believes he has 50 true friends and wishes he could prove it.

2. The Inheritance Rumor Sparks Interest

(02:53–06:15)

Andy claims to have inherited $10,000.
- Kingfish immediately becomes more ingratiating, inviting Andy for supper, offering business advice:
  
  “It's at a time like that, that a man needs a friend to give him advice. And I is the best friend of the man with $10,000.” (Kingfish, 03:12)
The rumor quickly spreads (a beauty parlor scene and phone calls) as invitations pour in and formerly dismissive acquaintances become eager to socialize.

3. Friends Out in Full Force

(06:15–08:25)

Andy enjoys a flurry of hospitality—Kingfish even invents a new career as an “investment advisor specializing in inheritances.”
Amos remains skeptical, warning Andy that these friends may change when his “fortune” is gone.

4. The Fallout – Testing the Loyalty

(08:35–14:47)

Andy, overfed on others’ generosity, feels unwell (“No six meals a day. Oh, I feel bad.” - Andy, 09:42), and both Kingfish and Henry race to show their concern—in reality, they’re motivated by his supposed wealth.
Their bickering over Andy’s sickbed leads to a farcical tug-of-war over who is the better friend, with each trying to outdo the other in caretaking.
Eventually, they decide Andy needs to be hospitalized, with his best interests—and their own—in mind.

5. Hospital Hijinks & Donald Meek’s Arrival

(14:47–22:13)

Andy’s hospitalization is a stress, costing precious dollars.
Andy conspires with Kingfish to get out early, faking Kingfish as his doctor.
Donald Meek, as a delusional patient, is mistaken by Andy for the real staff doctor, leading to a comical sequence of faux medical examinations and misunderstandings:

“I have three seats on the stock exchange, two of them on the 50-yard line.” (Donald Meek, 17:13)
“You have examined the patient only externally. Do you have a scalpel in your little black bag?” (Donald Meek, 21:08)
The ruse collapses when hospital staff reveal the truth, and Meek is led away, believing he’s about to pilot his “rocket submarine.”

6. Truth Comes Out—Who Are Andy’s Real Friends?

(22:13–25:34)

Back home, Andy, finally, tells Kingfish, Henry, and others that the inheritance rumor was false.
- Their abrupt withdrawal of affection and even demands for returned gifts make their self-interest clear:
  
  “Give me back that cigar.” (Kingfish, 24:16)
  “Send me back the ratchet points for the meals that my wife gonna give you.” (Henry Van Porter, 24:17)
Invitations are revoked, and former admirers turn cold in a series of rapid-fire reversals.
Amos drives home the lesson:

“Well, you got in that mess all on account of a rumor you started. They never would have took you to the hospital if they didn’t think you was going to be able to pay for it with inheritance money.” (Amos, 22:35)

7. The Final Twist – Man’s Best Friend After All

(25:34–26:19)

In the closing moments, Andy is seen happily walking with Susie—his dog—highlighting the original question with a classic payoff:

“Well, Susie, ain't you gonna speak to him? Speak.” (Andy Brown, 25:57)
The wisdom: loyalty is best found in a dog, not in fair-weather human friends.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Andy:

“Dogs ain't nothing like real friends.” (01:32)
Amos:

“If a man can have one or two real friends in his lifetime, he's lucky.” (01:54)
Kingfish (opportunistic):

“I is the best friend of the man with $10,000.” (03:12)
Sadie’s reversal:

“Oh, that good for nothing loafer Andy…I wouldn't be seen out with him again if he's the last man in the world.” ... “But ain't you here, Sadie? Andy just inherited $10,000.” “Oh, what time can he pick me up?” (05:09)
Kingfish hustling as a doctor:

“If anybody wants me in surgery or appendicitis department, I'll be in ward B.” (18:16)
Hospital slapstick:

“Have a cigar, Andy.” / “Give me back that cigar.” (23:52 & 24:16)
Donald Meek’s delirium:

“That's my rocket submarine...It must have got back under its own power.” (21:57–22:03)
Andy, to his dog Susie, at the end:

“Well, Susie, ain't you gonna speak to him? Speak.” (25:57)

Timestamps for Key Segments

The “Man’s Best Friend” Debate: 00:36–02:47
Fortune Rumor & Rush of New Friends: 02:53–06:15
Tester of Friendship—Testing the Waters: 06:15–08:25
Being Overwhelmed by “Friendship”: 08:35–14:47
Hospital Comedy & Guest Star Donald Meek: 14:47–22:13
True Friends? Not Quite: 22:13–25:34
Dog is the Real Best Friend: 25:34–26:19

Tone & Style

The humor is broad, slapstick, and packed with witty dialogue and wordplay. Themes of social satire abound—opportunism, loyalty, and human foibles are all skewered, poking fun at those who flock around when money is at stake and vanish when the supposed fortune disappears.

Summary for New Listeners:
This episode of Amos & Andy is a comedic morality tale that lampoons the fickleness of “friendship” built on wealth and ends by reaffirming the old adage: a dog may indeed be man’s best friend, after all. The gags, banter, and guest cameo (Donald Meek) are as lively now as in the original Golden Age of Radio.