Amos & Andy - One Phony Antique

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Amos & Andy – One Phony Antique
Date: March 25, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Featured Radio Show: The Amos & Andy Show - "One Phony Antique"

---

Overview

This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio brings listeners a classic episode of Amos & Andy: “One Phony Antique.” The lighthearted tale revolves around Kingfish purchasing a decrepit desk he believes is a valuable antique, leading to a madcap scheme involving supposed George Washington love letters. Meanwhile, forgotten wedding anniversaries and misunderstandings abound, culminating in lessons about love, memory, and the value of sentiment over money.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Phony Antique Desk (00:29–02:19)

• Setting the Scene: Kingfish is in a secondhand furniture store negotiating with Mr. Miller over a battered old desk.
• The Sales Pitch: Mr. Miller convinces Kingfish the desk is a genuine antique, even claiming, “this desk actually belonged to George Washington.”
• Kingfish's Take: Skeptical but intrigued, Kingfish quips, “This must be the one he throwed across the Potomac.”
• Final Deal: They settle on $4 up front, with $2 to come later.

2. Sapphire’s Forgotten Anniversary (02:34–03:54)

• Sapphire’s Disappointment: Sapphire confides in Amos about Kingfish forgetting their 20th anniversary, expressing sadness that “the love has gone out of our marriage.”
• Amos’s Plan: Amos decides to rekindle Kingfish’s affection by slipping old love letters from Kingfish into the new desk, hoping he’ll rediscover them.

3. A Case of Mistaken Value (04:22–05:54)

• Discovery: Kingfish and Andy find the love letters in the “antique” desk.
• Confusion: Kingfish assumes the letters, signed by “George,” are written by George Washington to Martha.
• Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Convinced the letters are valuable, Kingfish dreams of a $10,000 windfall.

Memorable Quote:

• Kingfish: “Say, Andy, don’t you understand? This desk belong to George Washington. ...Them letters must have been writ by the father of our country.” (05:13)

4. Partners and Profits (05:54–07:18)

• Negotiating Partnerships: Andy tries to cut himself in for a share of the “fortune,” offering Kingfish $12, but Kingfish is reluctant.
• Lightning’s Task: Kingfish enlists Lightning to pay Mr. Miller the rest of the money for the desk and to get a receipt.

Notable Exchange:

• Andy: “I was the one that opened the drawer.”
• Kingfish: “Nothing doing, Andy – no partners.” (06:20)

5. Potential Buyers & Gabby's Advice (08:03–10:33)

• Who Should Buy the Letters?: Kingfish and Andy consider taking the letters to the Smithsonian.
• Gabby’s Input: Gabby recommends a local historical collector, Professor Pepperdine, for a better chance at selling the “find.”

Notable Quote:

• Gabby: “If you start sinking that money in the bank, you ain’t gonna have much fun. That’s sink.” (10:15)

6. The Furniture Man’s Regret (11:15–11:42)

• Mr. Miller Learns the Rumor: After Lightning mentions the supposed George Washington letters, Mr. Miller secretly resolves to buy back the desk.

7. The Love Letter Mix-Up Uncovered (12:02–13:19)

• Amos Tells Andy: Amos admits to Andy he put Kingfish’s old love letters in the desk. Andy quietly realizes the “Washington letters” are just sentimental notes from Kingfish to Sapphire.

Quote:

• Andy, upon realizing the truth: “It just got smaller. Oh, me. Why don’t nothing ever work out right? It seemed like my castles always come crumbling down.” (13:19)

8. Professor Pepperdine Delivers the Truth (14:52–15:14)

• No Historical Value: Professor Pepperdine informs Kingfish the letters are “not even 20 years old.”
• Warning: “Don’t attempt to sell them as George Washington letters, or you’ll end up in jail.”

9. The Great $12 Switcheroo (18:19–20:36)

• Scheming Partners: Both Andy and Kingfish vie to sell their “half” of the partnership for $12, each hoping to offload the now-worthless letters to the other.
• Comically Overwrought Affection:
  • Kingfish: “The love I got for you is greater than all the famous loves in history. Romeo & Juliet...Barnum and Bailey...” (20:21)

10. The Desk Sells for a Profit (21:38–22:54)

• Mr. Miller’s Offer: Mr. Miller returns, offering $50 for the desk, thinking it might indeed be valuable.
• Kingfish & Andy Split the Proceeds: After some quick math, each takes $25 and agrees to forget the “Washington” letters.

11. Kingfish’s Anniversary Redemption (23:17–28:46)

• At the Barber’s: Shorty reminds Kingfish it’s his anniversary. Kingfish decides to buy Sapphire a muskrat fur coat and needs a romantic note to accompany it.
• Recycling Old Romance: He reuses the same love letter, unknowingly returning one she already cherishes.
• Heartfelt Resolution: Sapphire recognizes the letter as Kingfish's from 20 years ago. The mix-up comes full circle, and they reconcile, reaffirming their love.

Touching Exchange:

• Sapphire: “And I’m in love with the man that first wrote the note.”
• Kingfish: “You...you what? That’s a fine thing to tell me on our anniversary...Who is the big bum?” (27:56)
• Sapphire: “Why, that’s the first love letter you ever wrote me...20 years ago.” (28:25)

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Kingfish, on antique wormholes: “You mean the men’s work cheaper than the worm?” (01:36)
• Andy, on quill pens: “Didn’t the chicken get in the way?” (09:49)
• Gabby, on sinking funds: “If you start sinking that money in the bank, you ain’t gonna have much fun. That’s sink.” (10:15)
• Shorty, on the muskrat coat: “All I got to say is, that muskrat must lead a hard life.” (25:10)

---

Notable Timestamps

• 00:29: Kingfish inspects the antique desk.
• 02:34: Sapphire confides in Amos about her anniversary disappointment.
• 05:13: Kingfish concludes the love letters must be written by George Washington.
• 08:03: Discussing how to sell the letters, Gabby proposes Professor Pepperdine.
• 14:52: Professor Pepperdine debunks the "Washington letters."
• 21:38: Mr. Miller offers $50 for the desk.
• 26:28: Kingfish presents Sapphire with the fur coat and recycled love letter.
• 27:42: Sapphire reveals the note is decades old—the first Kingfish wrote her.

---

Conclusion

The episode is a quintessential Amos & Andy farce, blending mistaken identity, get-rich-quick schemes, and heartfelt romantic comedy. Ultimately, sentiment trumps money, leading to a warm, if comedic, lesson about not taking love—and memory—for granted.

---

Transcript

[Howie Mandel]

The Global Gaming League is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We do it gaming team take on Gilly the king and wallow. 2, 6, $7 million gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with

[Narrator]

Level Up Expo, the Amos and Andy show. And now our stars, Amos and Andy. Well, after waiting two years for the second payment on the Kingfisher's prize personal desk at the Lodge hall, the finance company gave up hope and took back the desk. That's why we now find the Kingfish in a secondhand furniture store about to buy a desk he can afford. At the moment, he's being convinced by the salesman that a rickety old desk he's looking at is a genuine antique.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Now look here, Mr. Miller, I ain't complaining because the desk is all bruised up and ready to fall apart. But ain't you got none without them little holes in it?

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Oh, those little holes? Well, those are wormholes. That proves it's a genuine antique.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Is a genuine antique. Cause it got wormholes.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Well, naturally, of course there are imitation antiques with man made wormholes. But those are less expensive.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Less expensive? You mean the men's work cheaper than the worm?

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

What I meant to say was the wormholes stamped this as being an authentic antique. As a matter of fact, this desk actually belonged to George Washington.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, George Wiseman, huh? Yeah, this must be the one he throwed across the Potomac. You want $6 for the thing, huh?

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Stevens, how can you quibble about $6? Remember, this is the desk that the father of our country actually wrote letters on.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, from the looks of the thing, I guess he rid him with his little hatchet there too, didn't he? Tell you what, Ms. Muller, I take it. I'll give you $4 now and you send the desk over to my office at the Lodge hall and I'll raise the other $2 before 6 o'. Clock.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

All right, Stevens, it's a deal.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Amos, I can't tell you how sweet it was of you to come over and bring us this anniversary present.

[Amos]

Oh, that's all right, Sapphire. You and the Kingfish is two of our closest friends. Tell me, what did the Kingfish give you for your anniversary?

[Narrator]

Anniversary?

[Sapphire Stevens]

I wish you hadn't asked me that. Amos, George walked out of the house this morning and he not only didn't give me a remembrance, he didn't even mention our anniversary. I feel terrible.

[Amos]

Well, now, look, Sapphire, maybe he did that on purpose, you know, so he could kind of surprise you tonight with a present.

[Sapphire Stevens]

No, Amos, he just forgot about it. It's because it don't mean nothing to him no more. Amos, the lovers went out of our marriage.

[Amos]

Oh, don't say that, Sapphire. Kingfish still loves you. I know he does.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Well, not like he used to. Amos, I just took out some old love letters that he wrote me 20 years ago, just before our marriage. Here, read this one. It's short, but it certainly is beautiful. It come with some flowers.

[Amos]

To the most wonderful woman who ever

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

drew the breath of life.

[Amos]

I love you with all my heart.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Joy.

[Amos]

Yes, Sapphire, that really beautiful, Lorraine.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Yes, ain't it? I was looking over these other four letters too. They're all just the same. Sweet and affectionate. Oh, Amos, why can't George be sweet like that again?

[Amos]

Yeah, well, what we gotta do is kinda remind him or say, wait a minute, I got an idea. I tell you what I'll do, Sapphire. I'll take these five letters and I'll slip them into Kingfish's desk at the office. And when he find them, it's going to remind him of the way he used to feel about you. See, Sapphire, I know this is going to work.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Well, look at that, Anna. They must have delivered my new desk while we was out to lunch.

[Andy Brown]

That's a new desk.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah.

[Andy Brown]

Well, if that was a new desk when you bought it, we must have took longer to eat lunch than we thunk. Look at all them holes. Look at them holes in there. What is them?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, them is worm holes, Anna. Yeah, that proves the thing was owned by George Washington. Yeah, there used to be worms in that desk.

[Andy Brown]

That's a fine thing for a fella to keep in the desk. Boy, this thing sure is busted down. Look at this drawer here. What are these papers doing in here? They look like old letters.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, let me see him there, Andy. Yeah, five of them.

[Andy Brown]

That's right.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Everyone say, to the most wonderful woman who ever drew the breath of life, I love you with all my heart. Signed George. Say, Andy, this letter. Signed George.

[Andy Brown]

Signed George, huh? Well, what about it? George is a common name. Even you has got it.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Say, Andy, don't you understand? This desk belong to George Washington. And if these letters assigned George, then these letters must have been writ by the father of our Country.

[Lightning]

Yeah.

[Andy Brown]

To the mama of our country.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah. Oh, say, Andy, this is the greatest thing that ever done happened to me.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, it's good, all right.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

But listen, Andy, don't you understand? If these are George Weins letters, they is worth a fortune. Oh, people collect this kind of stuff and they pay anything for them. Maybe even $10,000.

[Andy Brown]

$10,000? Well, this has certainly been our lucky day, ain't it, pardner? Dear?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah.

[Shorty]

Well, I thought

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

there was a word you done used there that kind of gridded up against me there. You know it. The word partner. Now, that word only is used when there's two or more peoples in a deal. And there's just one people in this deal, and I's both of them. That's what it is.

[Andy Brown]

Now, just a second, King.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Now, just a second nothing. Them letters is mine. That's my desk. Picked it out myself, and I bought it with my own money.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, that's right. You put up the capital, and I as done put up the labor.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

What labor?

[Andy Brown]

I was the one that opened the drawer.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Nothing doing, Anders. No partners.

[Andy Brown]

But, Kingfish, I, as your friend.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

But I tell you, I ain't taking no partner in this deal.

[Andy Brown]

But we has been partners in dozens of deals.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Sorry, son. The answer is definitely no.

[Andy Brown]

I'll give you $12.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Here's your receipt. Now, look here. Now, I can pay the rest of the ooze on the desk with this money of yours.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, here's your money.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, thanks. Andy, Lightning's out in the hall there. Call him there, will you, Andy?

[Andy Brown]

Okay. Hey, Lightning.

[Lightning]

You want me? Ms. Andrew?

[Andy Brown]

Yeah. You ain't busy, is you?

[Lightning]

Well, I just been sweeping up the hall again.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, the Kingfish want to see

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

you in here, brother.

[Lightning]

Kingfish, I ain't got much time. What I gotta do is go to my memory course at night school.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Well, I don't care nothing about that, Lightning. Now, look, Lightning, this is reporting. I want you to take this $2 over to Miller's Secondhand Furniture Store and pay it to him for me. Now, whatever you do, Lightning, get this in your head.

[Lightning]

Yeah.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Sir, I want you to get a receipt.

[Lightning]

Okay, Kingsley.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, that's right. That receipt is reporting, Lightning. You see, we done kind of struck it big here. We got some letters that George Washington done read.

[Lightning]

Did you say George Washington unread them?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, that's right, Leighton. He writ em over 100 years ago down in Virginia, and today just come into our hands.

[Lightning]

That a mail? Sure is slow, ain't it?

[Andy Brown]

Listen, listen, Lightning, they didn't come in the mail.

[Lightning]

Ah, you say they didn't come by the mail?

[Andy Brown]

No, no. We done found them in this genuine George Washington desk that the Kingfish bought at Miller's. These letters might be worth $10,000.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, and that's why you pay us when you pay us the money. Now, give the man $2. You gotta be sure and get a receipt proving that the desk is mine. Now get going.

[Lightning]

Okay, brother Kingfish, I'll whiz over there.

[Andy Brown]

All right. Now, Kingfisher, where do we take these letters and get the money for them?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Well, now, look here. I just thinking here, and I've been thinking of something done hit me in the head here. Right smacking my brain.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, go ahead.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Now, look here. We might take them down to the Smithsonian Institution. And in Washington, D.C. you know, this will go to Columbia. Take them right down there because they collects all that historic stuff.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, but do you think they're gonna be crazy enough to pay $10,000 for five old letters?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, sure. They ain't so smart about the things they buy. Oh, they buy old broken down spinning wheels.

[Amos]

Yeah.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

They even bought the first plane the Wright Brothers ever built. And that was a bad thing to buy.

[Andy Brown]

Was, huh?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah. Since they bought it, ain't nobody down there ever see them fly it. I don't know what they want with the thing.

[Andy Brown]

Well, then that might be the. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Gabby]

Oh, good morning, boys. Good morning. Glad to see you.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, come in, Gabby.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

How are you, Gabby?

[Gabby]

I just met lighting. Just met him out in the hall. He told me all about the Washington letters. All about them letters. Valuable property. Yes, indeed.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Valuable property.

[Gabby]

Let me see a couple of them.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Valuable property, huh? Here he is, Gabby. Look at him.

[Shorty]

Yeah,

[Gabby]

He sure was crazy about Martha, wasn't he?

[Andy Brown]

Oh, yeah, he was fixing it, all right.

[Gabby]

These are old and it's all right. Must have been ripped with a quill.

[Andy Brown]

A quill?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, yeah. And that's where they used to do it in the old days. They used to write with the tail feathers of a chicken.

[Andy Brown]

They did, huh? Didn't the chicken get in the way?

[Gabby]

Oh, Andy, they plucked out the feathers first.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, they pulled the. Oh, I see.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Now. Now look here, Gabby. Me and Andy is figuring on getting $10,000 for these letters.

[Gabby]

$10,000? Ooh, goodness, that's a lot of money. That's indeed a lot of money.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, and when we gets it, we each gonna take our share and put it right smack in the bank, too.

[Gabby]

Is that what you're gonna do? Is that what you gonna do with 10,000? In financial circles, that's what they call sinking fund.

[Andy Brown]

Sinking fund? How you figure?

[Gabby]

Well, if you start sinking that money in the bank, you ain't gonna have much fun. That's sink.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Now, look here, Gabby, you might be able to help us on selling these letters. Now, we was figuring that we might take them down to the Smithsonian institution in Washington, D.C. now, what you think?

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Bad, very bad.

[Gabby]

Kingfish, you don't stand a chance there. No, indeed, not a chance. What you ought to do is take him to this fellow Professor Pepperdine. I done read about Professor Pepperdine. He's a famous collector of everything of the colonial period. I can get his address for you.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Professor Pepperdine? Yeah. Well, now, that sound like a good idea. I'll go down there to see him.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, Kingfish do that. Well, Gabby, I guess this whole thing make me and the Kingfish about the smartest men's in Harlem, don't it, Andy?

[Gabby]

I'd rather not answer that, if you don't mind.

[Andy Brown]

Why not?

[Gabby]

That's like George Washington.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

I can't tell a lie neither.

[Lightning]

Well, there's the $2 for the desk, Ms. Miller.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Yes, yes, yes, thanks. And here's Stephen's receipt. Oh, say, before you go, would you mind telling me about those George Washington letters again?

[Lightning]

Well, all I know is that the Kingfish found them letters in the desk he done bought from you, and they worth $10,000.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Yes. Well, that's fine. Yes, thanks.

[Lightning]

Yes, goodbye.

[Andy Brown]

Hmm.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

So that broken down piece of junk really was a George Washington desk. Well, I'm going over and buy that back from Stevens before this day's over.

[Andy Brown]

Come in, Amos. Come in.

[Amos]

Hi there, Anders.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Say, where's the Kingfish?

[Andy Brown]

Oh, he gone down to see a fellow by the name of Professor Pepperdine. He gonna sell him something. I'm glad you dropped in, though, Amos. I got big news to tell you. Me and the Kingfish done discovered something.

[Amos]

Oh, wait a minute. Oh, that kingfish, Andy, he makes me mad. Somebody ought to give him a good talking to.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

You know it.

[Andy Brown]

What's the matter?

[Amos]

Well, today is Sapphire's and his 20th wedding anniversary and he done clean forgot about it. Sapphire's all broke up. He crying and everything else.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, well, believe me, Amos, the Kingfish got a good excuse for having to slip his mind today.

[Amos]

Oh, no, he ain't neither. And I tell you what. Me and Sapphire done figured out a way to kind of jog his memory and remind him of the way he

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

used to feel about her.

[Amos]

And we done it. You see, but he didn't pay no attention to it. Well, I tell you what. You see, I put five old love letters that he writ to her 20 years ago in that old desk that he bought for the office.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, the big news that I'm going was. Amos, did I hear you say something about putting five letters into King Fish's desk?

[Amos]

Yeah, that's right, Andy. Yeah, but it didn't do no good. Tell me, Andy, what was the big news that you was going to tell me?

[Andy Brown]

It just got smaller. Oh, me? Why don't nothing ever work out right? It seemed like my castles always come crumbling down. Amos, would you mind leaving me alone? I got some heavy figuring to do.

[Amos]

Oh, sure, Andy. What is. You gotta figure out how I is

[Andy Brown]

gonna get $12 back.

[Bleacher Report Announcer]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA's heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about. Get real time. Scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.

[Howie Mandel]

The Global Gaming League is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We do it gaming team take on Gilly the King and Wallow 267's million dollars gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

But Professor Pepperdine can't understand it. Is you sure these letters wasn't written by George Washington?

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Not only that, but the original contents of these letters weren't written more than 20 years ago. My advice to you, Stevens, is not to even attempt to sell them as George Washington letters or you'll end up in jail.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Well, I sure like to get my hands on the big bum that writ these letters in the first place. Well, thanks anyway, Professor. So long.

[Andy Brown]

Goodbye.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Well, there's only one thing to do. I gotta get a hold of Andy and sell him my half of the partnership for another $12.

[Narrator]

Andy and the Kingfish seem to have similar thoughts involving a sum of $12. We'll learn who comes out ahead in just a moment.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Intermission time on the Amos and Andy Show. And that means our intermission orchestra directed by Raymond Scott with Dorothy Collins to sing.

[Raymond Scott (Orchestra Director)]

Sam, Imagine you imagining that you love me and starting on a family tree Imagine starting on a family tree the papa is you and the mama is me if your heart goes up a diva it's love, love, love, love if your throat comes up with a love It's a love, love, love if your knees go and not good enough it's love, love, love if you're cuckoo like the cuckoo in the clock it. Sam.

[Narrator]

And now back to Amos and Andy. Well, now that Professor Pepperdine has convinced the Kingfish that the letters he had were not written by George Washington, and now that Andy knows they actually are the Kingfish's old love letters, both partners are looking for each other in the hope of disposing of his interest in the partnership without tipping off the other as we join them. Now they're getting down to business in the Kingfish's office.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Andrew, glad you dropped in, because I was just sitting here saying to myself, andy Brown is the best friend I got, and I certainly loves him.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, I just came over here to tell you that I was crazy about you, too.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Now, look, Andy, I want to tell you about my love first, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't interrupt me.

[Andy Brown]

All right. Sorry.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Sorry. Anyway, I keep saying to myself, andy Brown is always doing things for me. Lends me money when I wants. It comforts me in my hour of needs.

[Andy Brown]

Is that me?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Sure, it's you. Yeah. And then I finally. I asked myself this question. I say, george Stephens, when is you going to do something for Andy? When is you going to pay back that great friendship of this noble, generous, wonderful man?

[Andy Brown]

Is that still me?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

That's still you? Yes. And the answer come back to me. Andy, here, I got these George Weissen letters. Why don't I give him to Andy? I say to myself, let him make the $10,000. Course, Andy, just so I don't rebarrass you too much by doing such a great favor for you, I'll let you pay me a measly $12 for my half interest.

[Andy Brown]

Tell me, this King Fishy is you all through with the love stuff now?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, I think I done covered everything there.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, of course, I come over to tell you about how crazy I is about you.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Me?

[Andy Brown]

Yeah. Tell you the truth, I was willing to sell you back my half of the letters for $12 and let you keep the 10,000.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Sorry, Andy. I love you too much.

[Andy Brown]

Not as much as I does you.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Much more. Much more, brother. Andy, the love I got for you is greater than all the famous loves in history. Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Barnum and Bailey and all them great people. I tell you, I got them all beat, Andy.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, the only thing is. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Lightning]

Hello, gentlemen.

[Andy Brown]

What'd you want?

[Lightning]

Lightning, I give the furniture man the $2 you give me King Fish, and I come to give you the receipt.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, the receipt, huh? Okay, give it to me.

[Andy Brown]

What's the matter, Lightning? You look like you're dreaming.

[Lightning]

Yes, I know I had that receipt someplace. I just don't remember where I put it.

[Andy Brown]

Lightning, you don't ever remember nothing.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

You ought to do something about that memory of yours, Layton.

[Lightning]

Ayl King. Fees. Like I told you, I already done made plans. Starting tonight, I going to night school to take a memory course.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

A memory course in night school, huh? Well, that's a good idea for you. You need it. You're gonna start there tonight, huh?

[Lightning]

Yes, sir. If I don't forget. Well, I guess I gotta be going now.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah. Well, so long, Lytton.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, so long, Leighton.

[Andy Brown]

Now, look, King kids bought that $12. Hold it. Who is this coming in now?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, it looked like Mr. Miller, the man that done sold me to desk.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Oh, well, hello, Stephen. I'm glad I found you in.

[Shorty]

Yeah.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

You got the $2 I sent you for the desk, didn't you?

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. But I want to speak to you about that desk.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

What about it?

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Well, you see, there were some other people looking at the desk before you bought it. And when they found out that it was gone, being collectors of antiques and all that, they were very much upset. So I offered to come over and see if you wouldn't feel like selling it for a small profit.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, well, I might be interested. How much you give me for it? Well, that ain't enough.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, Double whatever you was thinking, and we'll take it.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

I'll make it $50.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

That's better. It's a deal. That first figure was way too low.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Well, okay, boys, here. Here's your money, and I'll send my truck over to pick up the desk.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Okay, Ms. Miller. Thank you.

[Mr. Miller (Furniture Salesman)]

Yes.

[Amos]

So long, boys.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, boy, that fella sure wanted that desk bad, didn't he, Andy? Look, here. Here's the money. Here. Here's $25 for you. And never say that I wasn't a good partner to you.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, that's great. Thanks a lot, Kingfish. And another thing I was thinking of here. Let's forget about them George Washington letters. Maybe it ain't right to try and sell them. Yeah, I know. I don't want nobody going around trying to sell my letters after I is gone.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, well, I agree with you, Andy. Now let's forget about him. Anyway, I got another deal that I can go into right now. And I got $25 capital to go into deal with. I gonna check on the thing right now. I'll see you later. Hello, Shorty. How is you?

[Shorty]

Oh, how is you, Kingfish?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Give me a shave, will you, Shorty? I gotta go out on a big deal.

[Shorty]

Okay. You know something? I was looking for you today. I want to congratulate you and seth on your 20th wedding anniversary.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, well, you see. 20th wedding anniversary today. That's right. Oh, me, I done clean forgot about it, Shorty.

[Shorty]

Yeah, well, congratulations anyway, King Fig. I want to tell you how happy you must married life must be. Must be one of the fin. Must be wonderful being married to all that. Marriage must be a beautiful. How do you stand it?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

You know, I just thinking here, Shorty. Sapphire must be crying her eyes out. Cause I didn't say nothing about it this morning. Maybe I better take a nice present when I goes home tonight for our 20th anniversary.

[Shorty]

You better if you expect to have a 21st.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah.

[Lightning]

Well, now.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, me. Here goes my $25 and the big deal. I wonder what I can get her for a present. Oh, that fur store down the street got a muskrat fur coat in the window for $25.

[Shorty]

Yeah, I see that.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Wait a minute. Maybe I might get a better idea. Let me see. The 50th anniversary is gold. The 25th is silver. The 15th is crystal. I wonder what the 20th is.

[Shorty]

Well, I know it ain't muskrat.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Well, I think I'll get her that coat anyway. Oh, yeah, I know she's been looking at it.

[Shorty]

I was looking at it too. It's nice, Kingfish, but are you sure it's brand new?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, course it's brand new, Shorty. Ain't no person ever wore it before.

[Shorty]

Well, then all I got to say that muskrat must lead a hard life.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Oh, now, wait a minute. Don't talk silly, Shorty. Now, the next thing I gotta do is to write Sapphire a sweet loving note that I can put in with the coat. You got any ideas on what I can write or Shorty?

[Shorty]

Oh, why, sure. Just say to the prettiest girl in the world. No, to the moon's God. You. To the lovely. To the Shabriel. I'd like to meet her.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Now, wait a minute. I know exactly what to do. I was going to copy one of the love letters I done found in the desk, put that in the fur coat and bring it right home to Sapphire. Here, listen to this letter. Here. Listen. To the most wonderful woman that ever drew the breath of life. I love you. How did that sound?

[Shorty]

Oh, no, that's too shy. It don't express the real. It ain't got enough sentiment. It's beautiful.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Uh, Sapphire, honey, you is just the prettiest woman I done ever seen in that new fur coat.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Oh, George, I've wanted a fur coat like this for 10 years. But that ain't what means the most to me.

[Raymond Scott (Orchestra Director)]

Mm.

[Sapphire Stevens]

When you come down to breakfast this morning, darling, you looked at me as if. Well, as if this day was no different to no other day. You can laugh now, but honest, I could have cried, George. Then after you left, I did cry. But now, sweetheart, now I know that you didn't forget.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Honey, if you'll just reach in the pocket of the fur coat there, you'll see just how much you means to me.

[Sapphire Stevens]

The pocket? Why, George, it's a no. To the most wonderful woman who ever drew the breath of life. I love you. Oh, George, this note means more to me than anything.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Yeah, I thought you'd like it, honey. That's why when I was. Well, I was overcome with the original idea. A while ago, the note, you know, just come to me a little while ago. I just couldn't wait to sit down and write it.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Wait a minute, George, you didn't just write that note?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Uh, I didn't?

[Raymond Scott (Orchestra Director)]

No, no.

[Sapphire Stevens]

That was written many years ago by a much younger man than you.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Um, it was?

[Shorty]

Yes.

[Sapphire Stevens]

And I'm in love with the man that first wrote the note.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

You. You what? That's a fine thing to tell me on our anniversary. Now, how long has this been going on, and who is the big bum? That's what I want to know. Wait a minute, sir.

[Sapphire Stevens]

Well, George, I've been in love with that man for 20 years.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

20 years? Right from the kickoff. Huh? Does you mean to tell me that our whole married life has been nothing but infernal triangle?

[Sapphire Stevens]

Oh, darling, don't be silly. What's happened to your memory?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

My memory?

[Sapphire Stevens]

Why, that's the first letter you ever wrote to me. The first love letter. When you was courting me 20 years

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

ago, I wrote that letter?

[Sapphire Stevens]

Why, yes, dear. I had Amos put it and a few of the others in your desk drawer today.

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

Where's my hat?

[Sapphire Stevens]

George, where you going?

[George 'Kingfish' Stevens]

I go into night school with lightning. Amos and Andy will be back with you again next week. And now to close our program, here's Raymond Scott and the orchestra.

[Raymond Scott (Orchestra Director)]

It.

[Andy Brown]

This is the armed forces radio service.

[Bleacher Report Announcer]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time. Scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.

[VRBO Announcer]

With VRBO's last minute deals, you can save over $50 on your spring getaway. So whether it's a mountain escape city break or a week at the beach, there's still time to get great discounts. Book your next day now. Average savings $72. Select homes only.