Episode Summary: "And Yet Another Partridge in a Pear Tree"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: December 2, 2025
Episode Theme:
A brilliantly satirical retelling of the "The Twelve Days of Christmas" through a series of increasingly desperate and exasperated letters from Cynthia Bracegirdle (voiced by Penelope Keith) to her suitor Algernon Fotherington Smythe, as she copes with a deluge of impractical Christmas gifts inspired by the classic carol.

Main Theme and Purpose

This episode offers a comically dark spin on the traditional Christmas carol, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” The story is told through the escalating correspondence of Cynthia Bracegirdle, whose home becomes an overcrowded menagerie as she is inundated with birds, livestock, rings, lords, ladies, and pipers—all gifts from her overly enthusiastic admirer, Algernon. The tale humorously explores themes of generosity gone awry, the pitfalls of excessive gifting, and the mounting chaos that ensues when good intentions are taken to absurd extremes.

Key Discussion Points & Story Highlights

1. The Gifts Begin: Birds and Pear Trees

• Cynthia receives the classic partridge in a pear tree (“my very own pear tree. And with that dear little pheasant in it. Or is it supposed to be a partridge? You really are a foolish boy.”) [00:15]
• Early gratitude gives way to skepticism and gentle criticism as more birds arrive, including turtle doves, French hens, and collie birds (blackbirds).
• Notable Quote:

  "Actually, the birdie isn't wildly attractive, but the pear tree should be lovely." – Cynthia [00:21]

2. Escalating Chaos & Mounting Exasperation

• With each new delivery, Cynthia’s tone shifts from bemusement to mounting annoyance as the gifts overwhelm her home:
  • Curtain rings, more birds, geese a-laying, and swans swimming in her bath (“I have just succeeded in accommodating your seven swans swimming in my bath, which was no mean achievement when one considers the number of pear trees on the landing.”) [06:15]
  • The impracticality of the gifts becomes increasingly obvious and farcical, producing more mess and hardship than joy.
  • Cynthia pleads for Algernon to stop:

    "Please call a halt to this absurd behaviour." – Miss Cynthia Bracegirdle [07:30]

3. Total Mayhem: Cows, Milkmaids, Dancers, Lords, and More

• The arrival of livestock and people (“eight enormous Friesians… now have nine ladies … dancing here, there and everywhere, one of whom seems to be working out a somewhat extraordinary routine involving several doves and a goose.”) [08:40]
  • The house is described as utter pandemonium, with birds fighting, livestock running amok, and the neighbourhood in uproar.
  • Societal and governmental intervention is hinted at, with evictions, petitions, and disease outbreaks humorously referenced.
  • Notable Quote:

    "Your misguided generosity has apparently now led you to suppose that I could find some use for 10 lords a leaping; they might lend a hand with cleaning up all the rancid milk and birdlime if they could only stop leaping around after the dancing girls for five minutes." – Cynthia [11:15]

4. Cynthia’s Final Straw & The Tragicomic Conclusion

• Cynthia hits her breaking point as aesthetics give way to noise, mess, and legal consequences.
• Highlights include:
  • Eleven pipers piping at 2am causing “a hideous cacophony of noise” [13:06]
  • The landlord’s eviction order and threats of legal action.
  • Notable Quote:

    "My landlord has taken out an eviction order against me, as he claims, somewhat surprisingly, that the terms of my lease do not cover utilization of the premises as a menagerie, dancing school, small holding or annex of the House of Lords." – Cynthia [14:13]

  • Cynthia passes correspondence to her solicitors: Messrs. Graball, Prista and Fleeson.

5. The Epilogue: The Solicitor’s Letter

• The story takes a sharply dark, comedic turn as Cynthia’s solicitors write to Algernon:
  • Cynthia, “in what must be described as a somewhat deranged state of mind, travelled to Eastbourne and threw herself off the top of Beachy Head.” [15:34]
  • In a final twist, Algernon now becomes the sole beneficiary of Cynthia’s will — inheriting the entire chaotic menagerie of gifts.
  • Notable Quote (Solicitors):

    "I am therefore arranging for the following items to be delivered to you later this day: 12 drummers drumming, 22 pipers piping, 30 nods, 36 ladies dancing, 40 maids a-milking…" [15:55]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the impracticality of gifts:

  • "I can honestly say, Algernon, that I had always thought birds were rather pleasant little creatures until you gave me this opportunity of observing them at such close quarters." – Cynthia [02:45]

• On household chaos:

  • "My house is now in utter chaos. As if it wasn’t bad enough having 16 cows producing milk by the gallon, we now have nine ladies, as you amusingly call them, dancing here, there and everywhere..." – Cynthia [08:54]

• On the neighbourhood scandal:

  • "The entire neighbourhood is now up in arms about it all and the Residents’ association has sent a petition to the local Member of Parliament." – Cynthia [12:00]

• On the final inheritance:

  • "You will no doubt be distressed to learn that shortly after the arrival of these gentlemen, our client, in what must be described as a somewhat deranged state of mind, travelled to Eastbourne and threw herself off the top of Beachy Head..." – Solicitor [15:34]
  • "With our sincere congratulations on your inheritance..." – Solicitor [16:53]

Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:00 – 03:00: Cynthia’s early, polite thank-yous for the birds and rings
• 04:00 – 07:30: Growing exasperation as birds multiply, chaos progresses
• 08:00 – 12:00: Pandemonium with cows, milkmaids, dancers, lords; legal threats begin
• 13:06: Pipers, noise complaint, landlord eviction
• 15:00 – 17:13: The solicitor’s letter, Cynthia’s demise, Algernon's inheritance

Tone and Atmosphere

The performance is light-hearted but increasingly frantic and satirical, with Penelope Keith’s proper, arch delivery highlighting the absurdity of Cynthia’s predicament. The language veers from affectionate and tolerant to sharply exasperated and finally desperate, mirroring Cynthia’s psychological unraveling.

Final Thoughts

A supremely witty, darkly comic take on holiday generosity and the perils of excessive gifting, “And Yet Another Partridge in a Pear Tree” playfully blends nostalgia for classic radio drama with sharp modern humour. The episode stands out for its clever writing, memorable performance, and perfectly pitched escalation to its hilariously grim conclusion.