Angelic Hosts 2.3 - Kali is Dancing for Me

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Angelic Hosts 2.3 – Kali is Dancing for Me
Date: December 3, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode features a vivid, evocative radio drama adaptation of "Kali is Dancing for Me" by Tanika Gupta, read by Yasmin Wild. The heart of the story is Joya, a British-Indian woman visiting India with her mother, who experiences a powerful, mystical dream of the goddess Kali. As Joya connects with relatives and explores her roots, she navigates the complexities of her identity, womanhood, cultural expectations, and spirituality. The episode illuminates both family dynamics and the enduring influence of ancestral roots, blending humor, warmth, and introspection.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Highlights

Joya's Vision of Kali – The Dream (00:14–03:02)

• On her first night in India, Joya dreams of the Hindu goddess Kali dancing just for her—striking and otherworldly beneath a black sky and full moon.

• The dream’s details are intensely sensory:

  • "Kali was completely black, with fiery eyes, very red, shiny lips and a sweet face, and she smiled as she danced." (00:25)
  • Despite initial fear, Joya feels comforted and special.

• Over breakfast, Joya shares the dream with her mother, who recounts her own striking Kali vision from decades earlier, when she was pregnant with Joya.

  • In Ma’s dream, Kali is "beautiful blue," not black, with "streams of light and jets of tiny sparkling stars poured forth from her eyes, from her mouth, her outstretched fingertips and even her tongue." (02:09)
  • When Joya questions the meaning, Ma replies matter-of-factly:
    • Ma: "It means... that the force of Kali is strong within you." (02:50)

• Joya, agnostic but intrigued, muses: "After all, Kali was a goddess, a symbol of womanly force, of death and destruction... And she was scary." (03:02)

Family Revelations & Astrological Readings (03:24–06:37)

• During a family gathering, Joya admits wanting a break from family life, revealing her fatigue and mild depression, met with surprise from relatives.
• Bella Auntie (not a blood relative, but close family friend), offers Joya an astrological reading from a scroll ('Kushti'):
  • She tells Joya her dream was "very auspicious," and the goddess is sending a message. (04:24)
  • Predicts Joya has “four children,” including “the one you destroyed” (reference to an abortion decades earlier, handled with remarkable empathy):
    • Bella Auntie: "You were young. It wasn't the right man. You did the right thing." (05:00)
  • She reassures Joya about her marriage, health, and future: "You are a strong woman. Men are very attracted to you... Life is a bit of a struggle... Saturn has been an obstacle, but gradually things will ease for you. But you must go and pray at a temple to Kali." (05:30–06:19)
• Joya’s internal response is a blend of skepticism, pride, and guilt.

Cultural Pilgrimage & Identity (06:37–08:50)

• The next days are a whirlwind: shopping in Delhi, socializing, and, to Joya’s dismay, embarking on a sudden pilgrimage to Haridwar for holy Ganga water, at her mother’s insistence.
• During the journey:
  • Joya observes a cow being hit and notes increased anti-Muslim sentiment among locals, reflecting on growing divisions in India (07:16–07:56).
  • At the crowded, holy site, Joya feels both out of place (despite wearing a sari) and self-conscious as “about a hundred pilgrims had turned away from the temple and were staring at her instead.”
    • Joya: “Why are they looking at me?”
    • Ma: “Because you look like a foreigner.” (08:50)

Calcutta, Family Roots, and Kali’s Presence (08:50–12:30)

• Arriving in Calcutta, Joya reconnects with extended family. Memories of her deceased father resurface, especially in her interactions with Usher Aunty, who resembles him and shares his mannerisms (09:14–09:47).

• Even her intellectual, non-religious aunts are deeply affected by Joya’s Kali dream:

  • Usher Aunty: “Most Hindus would die for a dream like that... Must mean you have something of her inside you.” (09:47–10:10)
  • Durga Aunty: Obsesses over the dream’s details (smile, color, presence of skulls, style of dance). This scrutiny becomes a source of comic relief for Joya (10:10).

• Durga Aunty insists on a visit to the famed Kali Temple at Dakshineswar; a humorous interlude ensues as the aunts bicker over their ages (10:44–11:32).

• At the temple:

  • Joya is struck by the tranquility and the living presence of Kali in the shrine: "She took some burning joss sticks up to the image of Kali and stared... The face of the statue was the exact same one she had seen in her dream." (11:32–12:30)
  • Durga Aunty opens up about childhood traumas, being orphaned, and tells Joya she was believed to be their mother reincarnated to care for them. Kali is declared her protector, her dream validated:
    • Durga Aunty: “Kali had come to tell her something, that she was Joya’s protector, that the force of Kali was strong within her. It was a good dream, whether or not Joya chose to believe in it. There was no point in fighting the inevitable. Kali had come to dance for her and to tell her that she was her guardian angel.” (12:30)

Conclusion & Reflection (13:37–end)

• Back in London, Joya places a small picture of Kali in her study, feeling intergenerational ties:
  • "Kali reminded her of her Durga auntie, her Bella auntie, her Usher auntie, her Ma, and the grandmother she never met." (13:37)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Joya (on her mother interpreting dreams):
  • “That’s about your anxiety of Sunita starting school. Or that’s obviously about your suppressed anger towards your old head teacher. Or simply, you’re so weird.” (01:44)
• Bella Auntie:
  • “Oh, you have a very good husband. He will always love you. Your health is not bad, but you have to watch your stress levels and your children will all be successful. One of them will be an acclaimed writer. No, Joya thought, I’m the acclaimed writer.” (05:12)
• Durga Aunty (on Kali’s dream):
  • “Most Hindus would die for a dream like that... Must mean you have something of her inside you.” (09:47)
• Final reflection:
  • “Kali reminded her of her Durga auntie, her Bella auntie, her Usher auntie, her Ma, and the grandmother she never met.” (13:37)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:14–03:02: Joya and Ma’s Kali dreams & their meaning
• 03:24–06:37: Family gathering, astrological reading by Bella Auntie
• 06:37–08:50: Delhi whirlwind, pilgrimage to Haridwar, questions of faith and identity
• 08:50–12:30: Calcutta visit, family connections, trip to Kali Temple, emotional revelations
• 13:37–end: Return to London and final reflection

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Tonal Notes

The episode blends warmth, gentle humor, familial affection, and a thoughtful exploration of heritage, faith, and womanhood. Joya’s dry wit and pragmatism stand alongside her relatives’ lively beliefs and emotional histories, providing a nuanced portrait of negotiating identity between worlds.

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Voices:

• Narration: Yasmin Wild
• Producers: Gemma Jenkins

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If you haven’t listened:
This episode delivers an immersive, evocative personal story layered with humor, heart, and spirituality. It’s a gentle yet powerful meditation on family, culture, and the ways our ancestors—and their stories—haunt, guide, and protect us.

Transcript

[A]

On Joya's first night in India, on her shopping, having a break from the children and visiting elderly relatives trip with her ma, she had a strange dream.

In the dream, Joya found herself sat in a dark open field in the middle of the night, under a black, starless sky with a full moon shining above, watching as the goddess Kali danced before her. Kali was completely black, with fiery eyes, very red, shiny lips and a sweet face, and she smiled as she danced. It was a beautiful, sensuous Indian dance.

Kali's body was young but womanly, with curves, and the way she moved was slow, graceful and ghostly. A fire burned somewhere in the background and a drum beat low, keeping in time with Kali's footsteps. At first, Joya was frightened by Kali's appearance, but the goddess's smile reassured her, and she had the sense that Kali had come just to dance for her.

When she woke up, Joya mused on the dream and marvelled at how vivid it was. Then she laughed at herself. Since when did I get religion? Why on earth was I dreaming about Hindu goddesses? Must be the jet lag.

Over breakfast. Joya related the details of the dream to her Ma. Perhaps that was a mistake. Back home, she usually told John her dreams if she remembered them, and he would calmly explain their meaning. That's about your anxiety of Sunita starting school. Or that's obviously about your suppressed anger towards your old head teacher. Or simply, you're so weird.

After listening to her dream, Ma recounted her equally vivid Kali dream. It had been 39 years ago, when she was pregnant with Joya, in which the goddess came to see her. As the young, pregnant Ma looked, Kali's beautiful blue face shone, and streams of light and jets of tiny sparkling stars poured forth from her eyes, from her mouth, her outstretched fingertips and even her tongue. The light touched Ma's face and then she was gone. I thought Kali was black? Joya queried. No, she was definitely blue in my dream. So what does it mean? Joya persisted. It means, ma said, as if Joya were an idiot, that the force of Kali is strong within you.

Leaving aside the fact that she was an agnostic, Joya quite liked the idea. After all, Kali was a goddess, a symbol of womanly force, of death and destruction. She was supposed to be the original matriarchal goddess of the Indus Valley, going back thousands of years. And she was scary.

That evening, a whole gaggle of elderly relatives had gathered at the flat where Joya and her ma were staying. Everyone asked why Joya hadn't brought her daughters or husband. She had to admit that she wanted a break from them all. This news was greeted with astonishment. A break from being a wife and mother. She explained that she had been working far too hard and was tired. Joya didn't like to admit that she was also a little depressed because even she couldn't put her finger on the reason why. Was it because she was turning 40? Was life just too hectic? With no time to think, Bella Auntie beckoned Joya to her room and said she had something to tell her.

Bella Auntie was not actually a blood relative. She was a sweet and intelligent old lady of about 80. Her son had lived with Joya's mother and father in London as a lodger in the 1960s. As a result, a long lasting friendship between the two families had grown. And now here they were staying with Bella and British uncle in Delhi. Bella Auntie sat on the edge of a huge four poster bed and pulled out a long scroll. She took off her thick glasses and peered at the parchment. That was a very auspicious dream you had. She smiled at Joya. Oh, you heard about it. Joya mused that half the Indian subcontinent would know by now. It means that the Goddess is trying to tell you something. Like what? Joya asked rather stupidly. And what's that scroll you're looking at? Your Kushti. Joya's astrological star chart. Ma brought it here, bella Aunty mumbled as she peered at the symbols on the chart. It says here you will have four children. Oh no, I'm not having any more. Joya laughed. No, no, no. But the chart includes the one you destroyed. Joya was deeply embarrassed. The old lady seemed to know all her secrets. You were young. It wasn't the right man. You did the right thing. Bella Aunty smiled reassuringly. Oh, you have a very good husband. He will always love you. Your health is not bad, but you have to watch your stress levels and your children will all be successful. One of them will be an acclaimed writer. No, Joya thought, I'm the acclaimed writer. And then she stopped her thoughts guiltily. Was she begrudging her children's success? You are a strong woman. Men are very attracted to you. Joya liked that bit. Life is a bit of a struggle at the moment. Saturn has been an obstacle, but gradually things will ease for you. But you must go and pray at a temple to Kali. Joya didn't like to tell Bella Aunty that she didn't pray. Then Bella Aunty added firmly, as if reading her thoughts, makali wants you to offer her your Pranams.

The next few days were a social whirlwind. Ma and Joya shopped like mad in the Delhi bazaars, and in the evening, Joya went out with the Delhi youth, drank like a fish and entertained everyone with her sparkling wit and her English accent. Then Ma told her they were going on a pilgrimage. What? Joya was shocked. I want to get some holy Ganga water from Haridar. After her husband's premature death, Ma had claimed that she no longer believed in God. This is different, Ma reasoned, although Joya was confused as to how it was different.

On the long drive to Haridar, through the lush sugar cane fields, through idyllic rural Indian villages, Joya noted with amazement that a man was whacking a cow with a stick. I've never seen a cow being hit in India. He's probably a Muslim, the driver commented. What Muslim is going to whack a holy cow just a few miles away from one of India's prime Hindu sites? Joya pointed out. The driver just grunted. It pained her to see how anti Muslim sentiments had grown since her last visit. People included her in their bigoted statements, assuming, wrongly that she agreed with them.

Harida was full of Hindu pilgrims. Thousands gathered at dusk to pray at the temple. It was holy because it was the spot where the Ganga, which was itself holy, descended from the Himalayas to the plains. It made Joya feel strangely uncomfortable. So much religious zeal, so many people. And even though she was dressed in her sari, she felt like a pretender amongst them. Then, just as night fell, the priests chanted in Sanskrit and lit torches. It was a spellbinding sight. As Joya stared and stared, she realised that about a hundred pilgrims had turned away from the temple and were staring at her instead. Why are they looking at me? Joya asked Ma. Because you look like a foreigner.

They flew to Calcutta after 10 days, bidding farewell to the lovely Bella Aunty, who wept a little at their departure. Calcutta was Ma's home town, the seat of her Bengali culture, where she spent her teenage years, her old stomping ground, where she and her husband had dated all those years ago, and where her brothers, sisters and in laws all lived.

It was strange for Joya to see her father's eldest sister again. It had been 12 years since he had died, and even though she saw her old aunt Usher regularly, she was always taken aback by the physical resemblance to her late father. Her usher aunty would throw back her head and laugh or wink or smile or even just frown. And it was Joya's father back again. Before her in Calcutta, she dreamt of her dad every night. Always he was young again, playing with her or telling her a stupid joke.

Usher Aunty was a professor of music, a famous singer, a bit of an intellectual and not religious at all. But even she had heard about Joya's Kali dream and had something to say about it. Most Hindus would die for a dream like that, she told Joya, who immediately felt guilty. It must mean that you have something of her inside you.

Ma's older sister, J. Durga, got very excited by the dream. She kept picking over the details. Was Kali smiling or was she angry? Did you see a garland of skulls around her neck? Any blood? What kind of black was she? Blue black or light black? What kind of dancing was it? Kathakali, Manipuri, Odissi or Bharatnatyam? Joya was definitely beginning to wish she hadn't told her Ma.

Durga Aunty decided to take Ma and Joya to the Kali Temple just outside Calcutta. This, Durga Aunty explained, was a temple which had been founded by the great holy man Ramakrishna at the turn of the 19th century. Durga aunty and ma bickered like two teenage siblings all the way. Joya had an idea and asked her aunt how old she was. Durga auntie responded proudly, 72. And how much older was she than Ma? Durga Auntie said, Your mother is six years younger. Got her. So Ma was 66. No, Ma intervened. Durga was 12 years older. 12 years. Durga Auntie screeched, and they bickered some more.

Finally, they arrived at the Kali Temple in Dukineshore. As they stepped into the temple complex, taking off their shoes, Joya was amazed by the stillness of the place. Newlyweds, brides still dressed in crimson and reds with flowers in their hair, newborn babies with their proud parents and family around them, all stepped around the place calmly, without the usual pushing and chaos of other temples Joya had visited. She took some burning joss sticks up to the image of Kali and stared. The image was made of clay and painted bright colours, but she seemed alive and happy. Joya stood and gazed for a while. Pilgrims walked past, prayed and moved on. Joya didn't pray, but just stood in stunned silence. The face of the statue was the exact same one she had seen in her dream.

Later, outside the temple, Durga Aunty kissed Joya on the forehead. She told her how Ma and herself had lost their mother when they were both very young. They were passed around relatives, unwanted children, a burden. They grew up feeling unloved, and that feeling gnawed at them. At the back of their hearts. Ma had always told her that Joya was their mother returned to look after them. And Durga Auntie had always laughed at her. Joya's dream had somehow brought them together. Now Durga Auntie felt something new. Looking at Joya, she saw an echo of the mother she had lost all those years ago. She bought Joya a small picture of the Goddess Kali in the temple, and she told her to put it in her house somewhere. She added that Kali had come to tell her something, that she was Joya's protector, that the force of Kali was strong within her. It was a good dream, whether or not Joya chose to believe in it. There was no point in fighting the inevitable. Kali had come to dance for her and to tell her that she was her guardian angel.

Back in London, Joya placed the picture up in her study. She smiled as she looked hard at the Goddess. Kali reminded her of her Durga auntie, her Bella auntie, her usher aunty, her Ma, and the grandmother she never met.

Yasmin Wild was reading Kali Is Dancing for Me by Tanika Gupta. The producer was Gemma Jenkins.