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Calling all fun lovers and memory makers, Texas invites you to cheer from our stadiums and dance like no one is watching. Culture seekers can find the art that truly inspires. And from our shopping hubs to our chic boutiques, fashionistas will never leave empty handed. Texas is an unforgettable experience that's waiting just for you. Visit traveltexas.com and plan your trip today. Let's Texas for a sandwich treat that can't be beat. It's Silver Cup Bread and Stallmeyer Meat. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Better Half Matinee. Yes, it's matinee time for the Better Half. So join us for some fun and laughs with a big long drink. With a sly old wink, the old Silver Cup Loafer himself, Tiny Rubber. Well, what do you know. Thank you, ladies and gentle. And thank you, Carl, my little man. So I'm the Silver Cup Loafer, eh? Well, if I'm the Silver Cup Loafer, you're the Stallmeyer ham friend, you know. And just for that, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to tell the secret of your past laugh, boy. I'm going to take your hair down right in front of this full viewed intelligent audience. I'm going to give you the business. Folks, I got a little secret to tell you about Carl. He used to work. Now get this. He used to work from dark until dawn in a lingerie factory. He's a nighty watchman. Well, Carl, enough of this nonsense. Suppose that we tell the folks, ladies and gentlemen, that the Better Half Matinee is brought today and every day through the week by Silver Cup Bread, your family's favorite bread. And Stallmeyer Meats, the finest. Now, as always, well, we have prizes galore for a dozen or more lucky people this afternoon, Carl. So suppose we start the ball rolling with our smiling couples today. Why not, Tiny? Here they are, ready to battle it out for top honors. Folks, meet Mr. And Mrs. Orwell, all the way from East Orange, New Jersey. Good afternoon, Mr. And Mrs. Orwell. Silvercup and Stallmeyer are very proud to welcome you to their little private stage here at the Guild Theatre. We're happy to see you both. How are you feeling, Mrs. Alwell? Fine, thank you. And how do you feel, Mr. Alwell? Better than she. Better than. Am I to understand by the implication there that you think you're the better half of the Alwell family? That's understood. Oh, my, what a confident chap. And you? We'll find out. We'll find out, says the little woman. Not to Be outdone. Well, I'll tell you what we're going to do. Regardless of what you think, you're going to have to prove whether or not you're the better half of the family. Today we have a series of tests lined up for you that pay off in cash. And when we're all through, the one bagging the bigger Bungamot green bags walks off at the title. Is that fair enough, folks? Yes, sir. Okay. First we'll find out who the mental genius of the family is with a round of questions. Both of you go after these, and the first to answer correctly in each case collects. We'll start you off with an easy little one for $2 on your clothes. Now, both of you, here we go. If you take $3 from $5, how many have you. Two. How many dollars? Yes, you got $3. Absolutely right, Mr. Orwell. I didn't say how many you would have left, Mrs. Orwell. I said how many have you. And Mr. Orwell, being very sharp at the moment, came up with the right answer. 3. And he Colle, two nice round silver dollars. And now I've got to pay close attention to these. They're a bit tricky. And here's a question for $3 that you shouldn't have any trouble with at all. Tell me if you can. Why can't a man living in Brooklyn be buried in Staten Island? Who wants the bombs? What? Who wants the bums? Who wants the bums? That isn't the answer. I'm terribly sorry. Why can't a man living in Brooklyn. What is that? Maybe he wanted to be buried in Brooklyn. No, no. Probably don't allow the scent across the water. No, no, no, wait a minute. Listen to it again. Why can't a man living in Brooklyn be buried in. Oh, he's alive. He can't. He's alive. Of course, Mr. Orwell. Well, now, three more dollars to Mr. Orwell. Score. The score is five to nothing. And now at a dollar a Throw, here are five opportunities for you, Mrs. Owell, to catch up with Mr. A. Let's see how much you know about these creatures. You've seen them all. And I'm sure the answer should be very easy. Now, what little creature runs around with his eyes and his horns? No, no. Whoever heard of a mouse with a horn? Richard. Eyes and his horns. Eyes and his horns. One of the slowest animals. Little fellow with a big shell on his back. Antipede or something like that. No, no, not a tortoise and not an armadillo. That's what you're thinking. Not an anteater. No, a smaller animal. A little bit of a fellow who leaves a sticky trail. No. A bee leaves a sticky trail. No, no, he crawls along the ground. He's a little white, slimy, sticky tail. No, not a snake. Snail. Snail is correct, Mrs. Orwell. And he has his eyes and his horns, believe it or not. All right, here's your second one. This one you've seen, I'm sure. Where would you see a mudder eating fodder? Cow in a cornfield. No, no. Where would you see a mudder eating fodder on a horse? Now, where? Where would you see. On a range. Where on a range? No, no, of course, could be, but that is in a stable. That is correct. The mudder being a racehorse who runs well on the wet day would be eating the fodder out of the bin. In the fodder bin. She gets the trivial things. All right, so she knows her racing for. So you have $2 too, Mrs. Orwell, out of five here. Now here's the funny one. One animal perspires through its pants. A human being? No, no, no, Mr. Orwell, it's an animal. Well, I know, but he doesn't perspire through his pants. He perspires through his pores. A panther. Believe it or not, Mrs. Orwell, you are absolutely correct. Congratulations. He perspires through his pants because he perspires through his tongue. So he perspires with his tongue hanging on. It drips off as he's panting. Isn't she smart? Isn't she smart, Mr. Alwell? No, sir. Aren't you proud of her, Mr. Orwell? Oh, I'm proud of her. I wouldn't say she is smart. Oh, you wouldn't? You just got to give him his comeuppance for that, Mrs. Orwell. Now here's your fourth one. Have you ever stuck your head in a cow's mouth? No. Nice country all around there. You want to try that sometime. Well, if you did, how many teeth do you think you'd find on top? None. Absolutely correct, Mrs. Orwell. The cow has no upper teeth. Now, you've got $4 to Mr. Orwell's 5. Here's your chance to get absolutely even. This one goes for. And you must have noticed it, on which side of a dog is the most hair? Outside. Absolutely correct, Mr. Bower. Higher in there. Cooking on the front burner, honey. And the score as we approach our final test in the mental department is 5258 dead heat. Now we'll top off your metal round with a real stickler worth $5. Since you're both even. It's whoever wins this who will be the smartest of the Alwell family. Take your hand away from that little woman's mouth, Mr. Orwell. And don't choke her either. Give her an even 10. Here's your question. As you know, different countries have different ways of punishing crimes. Even in our own country, the death penalty is executed in various ways. Now I want you to tell me, in what country is it against the law to hang a man with a mustache? Any country. You can't hang a man with a mustache. He's right. You can't hang a man with a mustache. They use a rope. Oh, well, that was good picking. And you win the medal round by a score of 10 to 5. Congratulations. Anything deep like that I'd be glad to help you with. Oh, yes, anytime. I understand, Mr. Alwell. And now, before we take up your deciding test, for $10, Mr. And Mrs. Orwell, I have a question here for Carl. For me, old boy? For you, old bean. You think you can answer it, eh? Well, if it has an answer, I'll get it. See you're confident. All right, here it is. That way today. Shoot. Good. How many pieces of bread have you eaten in your lifetime? Holy smokes, that'll get em. What a question for a guy who loves bread the way I do. Well now, let's see. I'm 21 now. Yes. Five pieces a day for 19 years. Yep. Then 10 pieces a day for the last two years is. 35,300. Slow down. Wait a minute. Why the increase in the last two years? That's when I started eating Silver Cup Junior. Oh, there's a smart boy. If I tried it years ago, I think I'd hit a million times. I bet you would, Carl. You know folks, bread is a mighty big part of our diet and the diet of our growing children. As you mothers know, the more growth and energy building properties a food contains, the better it is for your youngsters. Now, Silver cup bread is not only one of the finest foods for your children, the best they can eat, but it's a food you don't have to coax them to eat. Yes sir, both big and small. They love the rich fresh flavor of Silver Cup. Get a loaf of enriched Silver cup for them today and watch them grow day to day. And when they reach my age, you'll hear them say, I hit a million the Silver cup way. Right you are, Carl. And now for the final test of Mr. And Mrs. Orwell here. And $10 to decide the issue for the next five minutes. Mr. Alwell, you've got to be a woman hater. Do you think you can do it? Yes, sir. Not too much of a strain, eh? Not, sir. Okay, good. And while I explain this to your husband, Mrs. Orwell, suppose you do us the favor of running off stage and slipping on a good big pair of overalls. We have a little stunt here that will make it a little bit tough on your dress and we want to protect it. Now, Mr. Alwell, now that she's out of sight, here's what I want you to do. Ed, bring out our better half dog house and have Mr. Alwell crawl inside and stick his head out the front hole here so I can talk to him, will you? There's the dog, right down there. And stick your head out the hole, Mr. Olwell. Now, you'll notice that that little dog house there is different from most dog houses, Mr. Allwell. It has three holes in it instead of the usual one. There's one in the front and one on either side. Now, while you're in there, I want you to shout out in a good loud voice, there's his head, skin and all, coming through there. While you're down in there, I want you to shout out in a good loud voice, I hate women. Because now each time you shout that, I'll call out a letter of the Alphabet and you gotta pop your head out of any one of those three holes and finish the sentence with the words beginning with the letter I give you. For instance, if I call out the letter C, you'd pop out of one of those holes and say, they're caddy. You got the idea, Mr. Orwell. Give him the microphone. I couldn't hear what he said. Got the idea? Yes, sir. Okay, Mr. Orwell, that's fine. Now let's get Mrs. Orwell back out here. Here she comes, Mr. Orwell. She's a nice girl, isn't she, eh? That's your idea? Well, she looked very charming in those overalls. Oh, she's very lovely, isn't it? Well, I knew she was country. Now, Mrs. Orwell, your old man's in the doghouse again and it's up to you to see that he stays in there. Have Mrs. Orwell climb right up on top of that doghouse there, Ed, and hand her a good big paper cloth. Now, Mrs. Orwell, you keep an eye on three sides of the house there. And every time you see your husband's head pop out of one of those three holes. You try and whack him with that club before he can get his head back in again. If you can catch him four out of seven times that he comes out of there, we'll add ten more dollars to your score. And if you fail to swat him at least four times, the money goes to him. All right, Mr. Orwell, pull your head back in there now and we'll see how much you can get away with with this little woman. Okay, Mr. Orwell, give us your line. I hate women because they're deep. Because they're deep. They're dumb. He didn't stick his. He didn't stick his head out. Take that again. Give us the line again, Mr. Orwell. I hate women because they're. Jim, she missed him. Last one for you, Mr. Orwell. Okay, now give us your line again. I hate women because they're g. And she Miss. Oh, Mrs. Orwell, you've got to be ready. But much ahead of that. You're missed them twice in a row. Now ahead with your next line, Mr. Orwell. I hate women cause they're h. Potty. Oh, don't be so gentle. Haul off and let em have it, Mrs. Orwell. Bring it down on them. Okay, with your next line, Mr. Alwell. I hate women because they're elves. Roger that time. She got it and that's the time she should have got it. All right, your next line, Mr. Olwell. Here we go. Go ahead, mister. I hate women because they're. Mr. Must reach. You got leech that time. Okay, Better luck next time, Mrs. Orwell. Take your next line, Mr. Alwell. I hate women because they're nuts. You missed them again. Why? Here's your last one. I hate women because they're w. Why? She got them. Well, good work. She only got them two out of seven times, Mr. Eunice Rowell, you really outsmarted the little woman that time. She got you only two times out of the seven times that you came out. Add ten more dollars to his score, Carl, and give us the results from the Allwell family. Well, this is the way it looks, Brother Allwell. Tiny. 20 big dollars. His wife winds up with five. So, gentlemen, who's the better half of the Orwell family? Congratulations, Mr. Allwell. You walked off with the title of the better half of the family and the grand prize that goes with it. An exquisitely styled watch by Parker, one of the world's best balanced watches. A gift to you with the compliments of Silver cup, the world's best Bread. And for being such a grand sport, Mrs. Allwell, stall Meyer would like you to accept, along with the cash you've won, this beautiful silver plated Ronson crown table lighter and this Ronson service kit to keep it working a long, long time. And for both of you, for the fun you gave us today, Silver cup and Stallmeyer have planned an evening of fun for you. First, two orchestra seats for a grand Broadway hit, three to make Ready, starring Ray Bolger, an old friend of mine, over at the Adele Fire Theatre, followed by a late dinner and floor show at the famous Cafe Zanzibar, where you'll be guests of Carl Irby, the manager. Have a good time. I know you will. Quieres mejor Internet Cox Internet de tresientas megas tiene las velocidades rapidas y com fiable es que buscas perfecto para streaming y gaming y TRA bajar des de casa todo por solo cuar entail. This episode is brought to you by Spreaker, the platform responsible for a rapidly spreading condition known as podcast brain. Symptoms include buying microphones you don't need, explaining RSS feeds to confused relatives, and saying things like, sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm editing audio. If this sounds familiar, you're probably already a podcaster. The good news is Spreaker makes the whole process simple. You record your show, upload it once, and Spreaker distributes it everywhere. People listen. Apple podcasts, Spotify, and about a dozen apps your cousin swears are the next big thing. Even better, Spreaker helps you monetize your show with ads, meaning your podcast might someday pay for, well, more microphones. Start your show today@spreaker.com spreaker because if you're going to talk to yourself for an hour, you might as well publish it. Thank you. Okay, and now, before we raise the curtain on part two of our matinee today, may I remind you that a sandwich this time of day can be both nutritious and satisfying if it's made of the finest ingredients. Two slices of delicious silver cup bread and a filling of your favorite Stallmeyer meat. And you have an energy packed combination that can't be beat. Try these two favorites today and see why we say for a sandwich treat that can't be beat, it's silver cup bread and Stallmeyer meat. Right you are, Carl. And now, Mr. Allwell, that you've walked off with the honors in your own family. Let's see what happens to you when three other wives from our audience Go to work here against you. You have to your credit so far over there on our little board, $20. Now for each one that you succeed in outsmarting, we'll add five more dollars to your score. And if they beat you, the five spot goes to them. Go right ahead, sir. Take your pick of any three of those beautiful ladies out there and we'll get them up here for you. That woman back there in a red dress. Woman back there in the red dress. There she comes. It's a red coat, but that'll do it. It labels her. What's the matter over there? There's a little lady over there, a lady in the blue dress. Come on. That's the second one in from the side of the house. That's right. One more. That lady back there, the glasses on the brown suit. Lady with the glasses in the brown suit. That's her all right. Here's our first challenger at the microphone. Hey, how you like that, huh? She's not bad, Mr. Alwell. You're a pretty good picker, aren't you, boy? Yes, sir. Well, I knew that when I saw your wife, Mr. Aldwell. Now come right over here to the microphone, little lady. Come in right close and give us your name, please. Mrs. Amy Fay. Mrs. Amy Fay. And where are you from, Mrs. Fay? Estoia, long island, from Toria, Long Island. And how long have you been married? 28 years. 28 years. She doesn't look over 28, does she, mister? Oh, sir, I'd send her back if I'd known that. Three grandchildren. Yeah, three. I don't believe that, do you, Mr. Allwell, sir, I have a head start though. I can see that right now. Oh, yes, you're a young, virile man and she is a grandmother. I'm bald headed. You're bald headed. What's that got to do with what? That ain't virile. What is? Bald. All right, I give up. You got me. Now, here's what we've got for you here, Mrs. Fay. It was, wasn't it? We have a little bit of a challenge on here that in which you are a participant and you are to compete against the very capable Mr. Orwell here. Food is always a good topic of conversation. So let's talk about some appropriate food for various kinds of people. A jeweler, for instance, should eat carrots. That's the way he weighs his diamonds. Of course, a prize fighter should eat duck, that's what he does. Unless he wants to get his block knocked off. And I'll mention the people from here on. And you tell me the type food that they should eat. The first one to get three correct would be the winner. Now, an appropriate food for a policeman would be what? Baloney. Baloney. Now, Mr. Alwy. Beets. Beets is correct. That's what he walks on. Yes. Now, what should a plumber eat? A plumber? Spaghetti. No, no. What does he fix? Noodles. What does he fix? Fix leaks. Leeks is correct, Mr. Owell. You have two. That's very. He's very good, isn't he, Mrs. Faye? Oh, let's see if he can get a man. Now, a chiropodist should eat what? Corn. That is correct. Free. Straight. For you, Mr. Orwell. You're just too fast. And five more dollars to Mr. Orwell's score, Jack. And for you, little lady, for coming up here. Delicious. Ready to eat? Hickory Smoke. Smoke Ferris ham. A gift to you from the famous house of Stallmarks. Now, let's meet our next challenger. Hey, this quite a critter you got coming up here now, Mr. Allwell. She's mighty pretty. Come on right up to our microphone. She's nervous. Put your arm around her, Mr. Allwell. Oh, yes, I'm glad she is. What is your name, little lady? I beg pardon? I didn't get it. A, R, E, N, D. What are you talking about? Arends? Yes. Or Edith Arends? Yes. You're not a native? No, I come from England. You come from England? You're an English girl? No, I didn't think you were. What is your nationality? You're a Czech. I was born in Holland. You're born in Holland? This is a pretty good one. She's a Czech. She was born in Holland and she comes from England and she's in the United States. One of us is awful mixed up. I don't know who it is. Well, Edith, we're very happy to have you here. This gentleman on your left is a native American. His name is Mr. Orwell. He comes from out in New Jersey. Have you heard of New Jersey? Yes, very fine state, Edith. Now stand at the microphone because we're going to have to have your opinion about this little problem that we have here. We have a what am I? And I'll tell you what a what am I is. I give you a whole lot of clues as to what I am. They're going to be in rhyme. Now, I'll give you this much of a hint before I begin. I am not a living creature, nor am I an object. So the first one who spots me will be the winner. Here we go. You won't find me in coffee, but you will find me in tea. You may see me in scotch, but not on a spree. You can find me in chocolate and always in broth, but never in anger, except when I'm wroth. I'm never in jams. Still I'm always in trouble. You'll find me in hot water, but never in a bubble. I always, always with my mother, but I'm never with my dad. Though I get in difficulties, I never get in bad. I'm a letter of the Alphabet and it's plain to see that when you recognize me, I'll suit you to a T. T is correct. A little lady from England, from Holland, from Czechoslovakia, who is now in the United States. What are you standing there with your bare face hanging out for? Mr. Orwell, can't you take it? I thought I did pretty good. I drew a check check from Howland, but I lost. You sure did, boy. And she walks off with that $5. And our congratulations for defeating you in the second challenge round. And that brings up to our microphone another very beautiful lady. This man's taste is not all in his mouth. That is obvious to see Mrs. Odwell. And what is your name, little lady? Mrs. Cronin. Mrs. Cronin. That's right. You're not relation. Any relation to Joe Cronin? No, no. Joe Cronin is the manager of the Boston Red Sox, wasn't it? Oh, yes. Do you remember that? Did you hear. Did you hear the Bob Show, Bob Hope show from Boston last night? Yes, I did. Did you? Did you? Didn't you like that crack? I think it was. It was Fred Allen who said they have a meat shortage in Boston because nobody will say the word slaughter, which is a pretty good practice, comes from the best comic I know. And your Name Again now, Mrs. Cronin. Mrs. Cronin, yes. Now, we have that straight and you come into the Microsoft microphone and we'll give you your competition with Mr. Orwell here, who comes from New Jersey. You've got to be sharp and you got to be quick this time, alternating back and forth. I want the two of you to mention every article of clothing then can be put on over your head like dresses and sweaters and so on. And you have but 10 seconds to come up with an answer each time or you lose. In other words, the first one who can't get there with an answer in 10 seconds is out. The other fellow wins articles of clothing that can be put on over the head. You ought to be A little bit ahead on this, Mrs. Cronin, because women have more things of that nature than men, I believe. All right, we'll start with our champion. Give me the first article, Mr. Allwell. Night shirt. Night shirt is good, yes. This is slip. Slip, yes. Go ahead. And hat. Hat is all right. Dress is okay. Sweatshirt. Sweatshirt's fine. Kimono. Kimono, yeah. At times you Can I have one. I know the kind. You mean the ones that are made, like, with the slip ons. The Japanese, the real Japanese, with no opening in the back. My husband brought me one back from Japan. I know it. That's why I mentioned Japanese kimono. She's right, Mr. Allwell. Go on ahead, sir. Sweater. Sweater is good, yes. Blouse. Blouse is correct, Mr. Olwell. Overcoat. Overcoat. Now, wait a minute. Just a minute. You can't slip on an overcoat over your head. Yes, sir. How do you do it? Just button it and put it on. All right. That opens up a whole new field of objects here, but okay. Come on ahead now. A shimmies. A shimmies? Yes. What's that? A what? What's that? A who? A shimise. What's that? You want to know what it. How long have you been married, Mr. Allwell? Eight years. You've been married eight years and don't know what a shimmy. There's no use me trying to tell you, boy. Go right ahead, Mr. Allwell. Tie a tie. Yes, sir. Now, just a minute. How do you do that? Leave him tied. By George, he's right. He's right. Lazy man. Leave him tied and pull them out and then slip him on over there. That's right. Go right ahead. Now, Mr. Cronin. A dickie. A dickie. That's what I have on. Is that a dicky you've got on? Okay. All right, Mr. Owell, come on in. There's a limit to things, you know. I know there is, but a dickie is right. Well, with it. It's all right. It's okay. Here we go, Mr. Orwell. Come on ahead. Now I'm going to start counting on you. One, two, three. Did I say a sweatshirt? Yes. Five, six, shirt. An undershirt. Undershirt. Undershirt. All right. Hey, what's that thing there? One of those. All right, undershirt will do. Leech has taken away leech. All right, Mrs. Cronin, give us the next one. Well, I'm getting kind of stumped. Oh, listen, there are some under things that you wear, but they're unmentionable. Of course they are. Mentionable. When it's the chips are down, we gotta mention them. Girdle. Girdle, of course. Put it on over your head. No way. Slide it down. Really? You get out of them the same way you step out of it. You mean you put them on over your head and then when you take it off, you step out of it and then you slip out of it. The things we learn on this show. It won't fit. Doesn't sound practical. Won't fit. All right, Mr. Alwell, you come along. Come on. He was right. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 shirts. 7, 8, 9, 10, 10. I'm sorry, Mr. Alwell. The little lady done done it to you. Congratulations, Mrs. Crowland. $5 to this little lady, plus a case of Stallmeyer's delicious meat spreads. 24 tins of meat spreads as only Stallmeyer can prepare. Thank you for coming up, pretty lady. Well, mister, had a swell day? You beat your wife, you triumphed over one of your challenges, proving that you are, without question of a doubt the better half champion of the day. Now it's time for our grab bag session today. Before I come down into the audience, however, there are some things that Carl Warren and I would like to say. First, we want to tell you that the high standards which have made Stallmeyer Ready to Eat meats favorites for nearly 50 years are your assurance of dependable quality and extra fine flavor today. Yes, sir, Ladies and gentlemen, these delicious meat products and the Ferris brand hickory smoked hams, bacon smoked meats and sausages also made by Stallmeyer, are government inspected and approved and for your added protection, handled every step of the way with painstaking attention to cleanliness and to sanitation. Even the taste is controlled and regularly tested so that you can depend on getting the fine flavor you prefer every time. So for delicious meat ready to eat, ask for Stall Meyer, a name that means the finest. Now, as always, you're so right, Mr. Warren. And now, ladies and gentlemen, down we come to our audience with our grab bag question today. And some mighty nice prizes for the things that our people here in the theater say. Our question today is quite simple. Are bachelors generally happier than married men? If so, why. And here we come down to the audience. Are married men happier? No, it's the other way around. Here's a gentleman. What is your name, Sir? Louis Rosen. Mr. Rosen, happy to have you here. Where are you from? Brooklyn. All right, let me ask you the question. Are bachelors happier than married men? No. Definitely no. Is your wife with you? No. She's not with you? And you still stay there. No. Yes, sir. You're really sold on marriage, huh? Yes, sir. 25 years, four months and five days. How do you like this guy? He's really got a tantalated every moment of chores. Yes, sir. Precious string on a beautiful rosemary of remembrance. That's right, sir. Okay. Take your choice of a prize up there, sir. Number three. Number three. Number three for you, sir. Oh, of a ribbon. Barrassini gift basket. Chock full of delicious chocolates, assorted in French, all made in the Barrassini manner. All yours with the compliments of the 17 famous Barrassini stores in New York. Thank you very much. Carl, here is another gentleman, and I found out in advance, ladies, I want you to see one here's a bachelor. No applause for the bachelors. No applause. Okay. What is your name, sir? My name is Joseph Steiner from Wheeling, West Virginia. From Wheeling, West Virginia. That's right. You think bachelors are, generally speaking, happier than married men? Well, I've been happy for 43 years. You're not going to take a chance on changing that by marrying something, huh? No, sir. I had five sisters and two brothers, and I seen what they got through. You decided to take no chances on having some of the same? That's right. Well, the. The evidence being what it has been in your family, I cannot but applaud your sagacity and the wisdom of your decision. Will you take a number one, two, four or five, sir? I take four. Number four for this gentleman. Number four for a gentleman with money in the bank. For you, sir, A real treasure. Thick, smooth, finely woven Dan river sheets for extra durability, comfort and wear. Dan river sheets can't be beat, right? Oh, you can't go wrong on a Dan river sheet, Carl. That's right. Oh, boy. Here's the little lady. Your name, please? Mrs. Reisa. Where are you from, misses? New York City. Formerly Buffalo. Formerly Buffalo. You married? Yes. You know something about men? Oh, yes. Do you think that bachelors are happier than married men? Well, no. Why do you say that? Because I think a man, when he's married, he has all the attentions of a wife or a bachelor he has to go look for. I see. On the outside. I see. He has home comforts and everything when he's married. Yeah. See? So the bachelor, naturally, is not happier. He's not happy? No. The fact that he has freedom and can go and come when he likes and doesn't have to report home at a certain hour and all that sort of thing is not important? Well, to a certain extent, but it's he gets tired of it after the vicissitudes of being happily married to a lovely feminine thing. Far overbalance those other considerations, eh? Okay. All right. Take a number 1. 2 or 5. 2. 2. Number 2 it is. For you, madam, something you'll always enjoy this time. De Walls radio and a beautiful white Catalan cabin. If you want something better, demand Dewalt Radio quality proof for over a quarter of a century. Thank you, Carl. Here's a young man son. Smitty. Smitty is your name. Well, now, Mr. Smith, let me ask you this question. You think that bachelors, generally speaking, are happier than married men? I don't think so. In my case, no. You're a married man, are you? Four months and four months, yes. You're hardly qualified to discuss whether I think I am. You think you are after only four months of married life? You see, I. I never really cared for life until I got married. How do you like that guy? Those women really did a job on this fella. Take our number five, sir. Five. Number five it is. For you, sir. Three beautiful McGregor white shirt. A gift any man will enjoy. The Gregor white shirts for dresser sports are really something. Thank you very much, Carl and ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to invite you all to join us tomorrow afternoon at the same time for another stormy session of the Better Half Matinee. Brought to you today and every day Monday through Saturday by Silver cup, the world's finest spread. And Stallmeyer, maker of fine quality meat products. Till tomorrow. This is Fanny Ruffner, the old Silver cup loafer, bidding you a all a very pleasant good afternoon. And this is Carl Warren, the old Stolmer ham, reminding you that tickets for the Better Half Matinee may be obtained at your neighborhood grocery or delicatessen. Carrying Silver cup bread and Stall Meer meat. The Better Half Matinee is a Jack Byrne production. This recording was made for audition purposes only.