Transcript
Nicole Byer (0:01)
We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms Flyer today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com. ooh, fierce. This has been your Wayfarer style tip to keep those interiors superior.
Jack Barry (0:27)
Wayfair. Every style, every home. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Better half. Just a minute, ladies and gentlemen, may I interject a question here? Thus one, who is the better half, the husband or the wife? Well, let's not argue. Let's find out. As we get underway with another stormy session of the Better Half, the comedy quiz that spotlights the home life of Mr. And Mrs. America. Married couples are up here tonight to match their wits in a battle of brains, brawn and beauty for the title of the Better Half of the Family. And here's the little man who knows all, sees all and says Tiny Roughner. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much. Thank you. Jack Berry. Well, Jack, who was our first couple tonight to toe the mark in the Better Half race for top honors here on their toes and waiting for the word go. Tiny, are Mr. And Ms. Mrs. Ehrlich of Brooklyn, New York. No, you don't tell me. Good old Brooklyn. Well, welcome to the family prize right here, folks. How are you feeling, Mr. And Mrs. Ehrlich? Fine. I knew. Mr. Ehrlich. How are you feeling? Little shaky. Little nervous, huh? Don't forget now to talk right into that microphone. How long you folks been married? Nine. Nine. Ten months. Ten months. Ten months? Yes, ten months. How many children have you? None. Well, wonderful. None, I say. Oh, none. Oh, well, let's. And oversights of Joan, no doubt, will be remedied later on. Just freshmen, eh? Okay, now, before we start the fire flying here, let me see first how I can set you straight. As the cards stack up for this better half business, we're going to give you a series of tests with cash awards for each. And the one winding up with the more money at the end is, without doubt, the better half of the family. Does that sound fair to you, Mr. Elliot? Oh, he didn't answer. You are the better half at this juncture, there's no question. Okay, suppose you put your brains to work first. Here's an easy question to start you off for. $2, both of you go after it. First one to answer it correctly is the winner. Think Of a popular old song. Now, and tell me, what would you be doing while I hitched old Dobbin to the shay? No help from the audience, please. Blue bonnet. No, no la la. Riding in a carriage. No, the bonnet you'd be putting on your bonnet. That's right. You'd be putting on your old gray bonnet with the blue ribbon Sonnet. That's correct. It really gets the two down. Nice going, little LA. And now for $3. And this one is not so easy. It's a two syllable word we're looking for this time. Let's see who can figure it out first. The first syllable is a vehicle. New York's full of them. The second is a prep position. The whole word is a part of a ship. What is the word? Remember that the first syllable is a vehicle. New York is full of them. They're usually painted yellow or orange. What is that? Bus. No, no, no, no, no. You're not a bus. But you're close. You're close. It's a means of transportation. It's a vehicle. It's got four wheels. It's yellow. Sometimes it has checkers on it, fellows with little caps on it. Now, what's the second syllable? It's a preposition. It's a part of a ship. The whole word preposition. What cabin is correct, Mr. Ehrlich? Nice going. And that gets you $3. Nice going. Now let's turn our attention this time to geography. For this quiz, four parts to the question, each worth a dollar. I want you to tell me what color is associated with the following. For instance, if I should happen to say mountains, you could answer green, white, Blue ridge, green mountains, white mountains or so forth. You got the idea? All right, here we go. What color is suggested by a C, S, E, a blue. Green. No, that isn't correct. Neither of those are right. There's no blue C. There is no green C. But there are other colors. Red sea. Red sea is correct. That gets you it. Olla. Now, what color is suggested by a famous English clip? White. That's right. What cliffs are they? White cliffs. Over. That is correct. That's right. Now, what color is suggested by a natural park? Yellowstone. Absolute yellow is the word. Gets you another dollar. All right. She's been around, hasn't she? All right, now here's another one. What color is suggested by a city in New Jersey? It's the one word that you cannot rhyme. I don't care how hard you try. It's a city of New Jersey. There's an east, there's A West Orange. That is correct. Mr. Early can get you another dollar. Okay, now, $5 at stake this time. And we'll deal with rivers. There are 10 large rivers in the United States that bear the names of states. Let's see who can get three of them. First, $5 a state. Now Ohio. One. Mississippi. Mississippi. That's one a piece. Go right ahead. Now, I need three from one of you. What is the Mississippi? What comes away from the Mississippi? What makes it the longest river in the world? Stretches way up into Canada. No help from the audience. What? St. Lawrence. St. Lawrence is not in the United States. I'm sorry? It's on the border. These are within the United States. Precisely. Let us go on. We have one apiece. You've overlooked a lot of what? That is correct. That's two for you, Mrs. Ehrlich. Nebraska. Omaha, Wyoming. Now, wait a minute. Now you're guessing. Now, one of them makes a very famous canyon. Makes a very famous canyon. What river is that? It's in the state of Arizona. Makes a very famous canyon. Colorado. Colorado is correct. And Mrs. Ehrlich wins. And that gets you $5, Mrs. Ehrlich. Now, let's take a look at how you folks made out in the mental department. We find that Mrs. Ehrlich has a grand total of $9, while her husband has but five. So, Mr. Ehrlich, you are trailing at the moment. But for your last test, we're going to put $10 at stake and we will be able to decide the issue. Do you recall everything you did for the past nine months? Let us say ten months. Practically everything. You think that's not too. I suppose so. Well, I think you, too. Suppose you both go off stage to a nice quiet room with Jack Berry and see how much you can actually remember. And we'll bring you back here in just a moment. And by that time we will be able to ask you some questions during those nine months which will display very cleanly how much you have remembered in those past nine months. Now, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we want to try something. We want to see whether a husband or a wife will give the more logical answers when they don't know what the heck they're talking about. For instance, we're going to take the subject of eating. And I'm going to put some questions to the two of them about eating. And the one who gives us the more logical answers will win 10 more dollars. But so that they don't know what we're talking about, we're going to twist that word right back around. And call it tay tae. See? And I'm going to call. Every time I should be saying eat, I'll be saying take. All right, EB Signal Jack to bring him back in again. And we'll get into this thing here and we'll see how logical the Ehrlichs are, whether it's the Mrs. Or the Mr. Who makes the best sense here, right up to our microphone. Now, Mrs. Ehrlich and Mr. Ehrlich, do you think you recall most of the things you did for the past? Do you? Yep. You do? Well, that's good. Fine. Now, I'd like to ask you some questions, if you don't mind. These questions may sound silly. I can't explain them. But you just give logical answers to something you don't understand. If you can, you simply answer the best you can. Whether you're right or wrong, you'll find out later. Mr. Ehrlich, suppose we start with you. When did you tail last? When did I what? I said, I'm sorry, Mr. Ehrlich. I said I can't explain. I simply want to know. When. When did you tail last? Take a guess and see. If you don't know. About a year ago. Remarkable fellow. Holds his physique well, too. You wouldn't think it. Now, Mrs. Erlich, when did you tell you last? Let me see. Yeah, when did you tell you last? Never. Never? I don't believe it. Well, neither of you came very close that time. But Mr. Ehrlich has a slight edge. At least he does taste sometimes. Let' well, let's see how your answer ties in this time. Mrs. Ehrlich, if you did tay, what would you use? Well, if my husband tayed a year ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would he use? A fish pole. A fish's pole. Very novel. Very novel. Particularly if you were a fish. Very novel. Well, all right. Now, let's see about Mr. Ehrlich. It's quite possible you could do that, but I've never seen it done. Mr. Ehrlich, what would you use to tay with? A rake and a shovel. A rake and a shovel. Not exactly good manners? Not precisely. Once again, we've got to admit you're doing better than your wife here, believe it or not. Now, just one more question, Mrs. Ehrlich, and I'll tell you this much. You actually do tape. You have to. Everybody does. Now, bearing that in mind, tell me, the last time you tated home, did you do it in the cellar, the attic, the bathtub, the sink or the dining room? I did it in the bathroom. You did it in the bathroom. You had fruit from the bowl in the bathro.