Bright Star 53-03-05 (20) Rodeo Star

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold’s Old Time Radio

Episode: Bright Star “Rodeo Star” (53-03-05)

Date: October 3, 2025
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio

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Overview

This episode of Bright Star, originally aired in 1953, centers on Susan Armstrong (Irene Dunn), editor of the Hillsdale Morning Star, and her ace reporter George Harvey (Fred McMurray). When a local rodeo and its mysterious star performer come to town, the Morning Star staff scramble for a scoop, only to find themselves caught up in mistaken identities, cowboy humor, newsroom antics, and a surprising twist: the “star cowboy” is actually a woman. The episode is a prime example of vintage radio comedy, blending sharp wit, wordplay, and farce as the characters navigate professional rivalry, Western clichés, and a tangle of personal relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Events

Newsroom Banter and the Rodeo Assignment

• [00:00–01:28] The episode opens with the newsroom staff, especially Sammy the copy boy, urging Susan and George to focus less on theory and more on hot local news: the Two Bar A Rodeo.

• Humorous debate ensues over word pronunciations (e.g., “rodeo’s” vs. “rodeos”, “grimace” vs. “grimace”), poking fun at journalistic pedantry.

  Sammy: “It's all very well to get steeped at ears and theories, but we sell news. And rodeos are news. Or should I say noose?” (01:04)

• Sammy reveals that the rodeo’s star, Bobby Brundage, is seeing the press at the General Grant Hotel—suggesting Susan and George cover the story.

Mistaken Identities and Farcical Interview

• [02:39–05:18] Susan heads to the hotel, but unknowingly interviews Windsor Appleton, a rival reporter posing as Bobby Brundage.

• Windsor parodies the cowboy persona, hamming up his interview answers and flirting shamelessly with Susan.

  Windsor Appleton: “You may quote me not once, not twice, not three times, but 20 times or as many quotes as you can get into my five gallon hat. There being four quotes to each and every gallon.” (03:31)

  Susan: “Are you married, Bobby?” | Windsor: “No. And you sure are a pretty fairy.” (03:54)

• After Susan leaves, Windsor, still posing as Brundage, calls his editor at the rival News paper, gloating over his prank.

The Real Bobby Brundage and the Gender Reveal

• [06:46–09:21] George and Susan meet the real Bobby Brundage—a woman—revealing the earlier mix-up.

• Bobby is incensed at being misrepresented and threatens to sue the Morning Star for libel.

  Bobby Brundage: “First of all, not even knowing that Bobby Brundage is a gal, and then bad mouthing poor little me something fierce.… I've already telephoned the other paper in town the News to tell them that I'm suing the Star.” (07:27, 07:41)

• George, with a comic attempt at Western lingo, tries to smooth things over, attempting to dissuade Bobby from the lawsuit.

• There’s comic camaraderie struck between George and Bobby as “fellow cowhands.”

Escalating Stakes: Lawsuits, Apologies, and Job Offers

• [09:40–12:13] Bobby calls her attorney to threaten a lawsuit for $100,000, intent on “teaching them a lesson.”

• Windsor Appleton apologizes to Susan for the prank and asks for a job at the Morning Star.

  Windsor Appleton: “Well, if you lose, I'll pay the damages. I can afford it.” (11:38)

  Susan: “I'm paying my own bills, thank you. And now you can go back to the News.” (11:41)

Rodeo Shenanigans: Grand Marshal George

• [14:08–15:33] George becomes Bobby’s rodeo manager and is appointed grand marshal, despite not knowing much about horses. Comic dialogue springs from saddle types and George’s reaction to riding a notorious horse named “Murder Plot.”

• Bobby’s horse, Murder Plot, has a running gag: its ancestors were chased by Confederate cavalry—now, it gets jumpy at anything Southern.

  Bobby Brundage: “Just one little thing about Murder Plot ancestor. His was chased by Hood's cavalry in the War between the States, so Murder Plot. He gets scary anytime something Southern happens.” (15:16)

  George Harvey: “Well, I hope nobody whistles Dixie.” (15:28)

Romantic Tensions, Comic Relief, and the Big Event

• [15:45–21:34] The characters reveal insecurities and comic jealousies—Susan and George, Susan and Windsor, George and Bobby—a carousel of implied flirtations and misunderstandings.

• George and Susan banter about ranches, money, and their own relationship, accented by comic misinterpretations (e.g., cufflinks engraved with “Bar A”) and lively interjections from Patience, a staff member.

  Susan: “Do you have her name tattooed on your chest too?” (20:26) George: “It does not say Barbara on your chest. The cufflinks. The cufflinks. It says Bar.” (20:36)

The Rodeo Climax: George’s Wild Ride

• [22:08–24:09] At the rodeo, George is forced to ride Murder Plot. The horse bolts ("He's bolting! The horse is bolting!" — Susan (23:04)), but George stays on in a slapstick spectacle.

• Comic play-by-play ensues with Susan and friends cheering.

  Susan Armstrong: “George will be killed. Phantom Cowboy.” (23:12) Sammy: “Phantom George is still on there.… Good boy, George. Cowboy. Phantom Cowboy. Break him Break him.… Ride him, George. Ride him, George.” (23:14)

• George triumphs, now a local hero; Bobby forgives him and calls off the lawsuit.

  Bobby Brundage: “Please accept my apology for starting your host of bucking. I'm not mad at you anymore, George.” (24:20)

Comic Denouement and Happy Endings

• [25:00–25:26] George and Susan reflect on the chaos and romance, joking about the pairing of Windsor Appleton and Bobby Brundage, both revealed to be from Brooklyn.

  Susan Armstrong: “Who would have dreamed it? A Gate Appleton and a corn fed Bobby Brundage, both hailing from Brooklyn.” (25:17)

• The episode ends with the suggestion everyone has found some happiness—on the range and back in the newsroom.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sammy poking fun at serious news:
  “It's all very well to get steeped at ears and theories, but we sell news. And rodeos are news. Or should I say noose?” (01:04)

• Windsor Appleton’s outrageous cowboy act:
  “You may quote me not once, not twice, not three times, but 20 times or as many quotes as you can get into my five gallon hat.” (03:31)

• Susan’s exasperation after her ‘interview’:
  “Listen, you just wait until I go to press with my story on the great Bobby Brundy.” (04:26)

• The big gender reveal:
  “First of all, not even knowing that Bobby Brundage is a gal, and then bad mouthing poor little me something fierce.… I'm gonna sue that Morning Star till it really moans.” (07:27, 07:39)

• Comic Western lingo between George and Bobby:
  “6 Gun George Harvey, Shake, Pardner.” (08:23)

• On riding the infamous Murder Plot:
  “His was chased by Hood's cavalry in the War between the States, so Murder plot. He gets scary anytime something Southern happens.” (15:16)

• Slapstick at the rodeo:
  “George will be killed. Phantom Cowboy.” —Susan (23:12)
  “The horse is standing still.” —Sammy (23:55)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–01:28 | Newsroom banter & Sammy assigns the rodeo story
• 02:39–05:18 | Susan’s farcical interview with Windsor Appleton (posing as Bobby Brundage)
• 06:46–09:21 | Discovery: Bobby Brundage is a woman, not a cowboy
• 09:40–12:13 | Bobby threatens lawsuit; Windsor Appleton apologizes
• 14:08–15:33 | George agrees to be grand marshal; comic Western tropes
• 15:45–21:34 | Romantic & professional tensions escalate
• 22:08–24:09 | The climactic rodeo scene: George’s wild ride
• 25:00–25:26 | Comic conclusion and happy endings

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Tone & Style

Bright Star epitomizes classic radio comedy, blending newsroom wit, Western parody, and high-spirited camaraderie. The dialogue is quick, clever, and loaded with playful jabs—each character sporting a distinct comic flair.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a perfect curtain-raiser for the joys of Old Time Radio—a lively script, sharp comedic timing, and the pure fun of mistaken identities and raucous newsroom life. Along the way, the characters skewer Western clichés and office politics, all in service of good humor and happy endings.

Transcript

[Narrator]

The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan and Fred McMurray as George, together in a gay new exciting comedy adventure. Bright Star. It's the Irene Dunn Fred McMurray show with Irene Dunn is Susan Armstrong, editor of the Hillsdale Morning star, and Fred McMurray as George Harvey, her ace reporter. Susan and George are in a chatty academic mood while Sammy the copy boy urges them to stop chasing journalistic butterflies and and chase what he considers the big news of the hour.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

It's all very well to get steeped at ears and theories, but we sell news. And rodeos are news. Or should I say noose?

[Susan Armstrong]

It's rodeo's, isn't it, Sammy?

[George Harvey]

Like which is correct, mogul or mogul?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I always say mogul.

[George Harvey]

It's mogul.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Will the class in disorder please come to order?

[Susan Armstrong]

How do you pronounce this, Grimace or Grimace?

[George Harvey]

Oh, grimace.

[Susan Armstrong]

Uh huh. It's grimace.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Who fought the French and Indian War combatants? Who is Bobby Brundage?

[Windsor Appleton]

Who?

[Susan Armstrong]

I pass.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Pass. You both flunk miserably. The two bar a rodeo takes advertising in your paper, but you don't know who is its absolutely star performer. Okay, wallow in your ignorance. I'm gonna buy tickets while they're still available. I'll give you one tip. Bobby Brundage is seeing the press at the General Grant Hotel. Take it from there. My hands are tied.

[Susan Armstrong]

Take it from there, George.

[George Harvey]

Me, I don't know port from starboard or stamp from stern. On a horse?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, you don't have to, except on seahorses. These horses have heads and tails.

[George Harvey]

Only instead of tossing them, they toss you. This much I know.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, but we'd better get some story on Bobby Brundage.

[George Harvey]

Well, you know more about horses than I do.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, no, I've never been farther west than Denver.

[George Harvey]

That's far enough. Most cowboys have never been farther west than Perth Amboy.

[Susan Armstrong]

Where is Perth Amboy? She asked against her better judgment.

[George Harvey]

In New Jersey.

[Patience]

Out where the west begins, ma'.

[Susan Armstrong]

Am.

[Windsor Appleton]

Coming, coming. Yeah.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, Mr. Brundage, I'm Susan Armstrong of the Morning Star. I'd like very much to get a story from you for the stars.

[Windsor Appleton]

Oh, oh, sure, sure, ma', am. Come on in.

[Susan Armstrong]

Thank you.

[Windsor Appleton]

Newspaper reporter. Well.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I'm. I'm really the editor.

[Windsor Appleton]

You don't say?

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, I help out a bit on the news hawking now and then.

[Windsor Appleton]

Well, I always like to meet the gentlemen of the press, especially when the ladies.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, you'll have to help me out on this story because the truth is I. I'm new to the. A horse Latitude.

[Windsor Appleton]

Oh, now, there was a great horse where that horse Latitude. Greatest piece of horse flesh ever wound up in Rover's digestive tract at long last.

[Susan Armstrong]

May I quote you on that, Mr. Brundage?

[Windsor Appleton]

You may quote me not once, not twice, not three times, but 20 times or as many quotes as you can get into my five gallon hat. There being four quotes to each and every gallon. Yes, ma'.

[Patience]

Am.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, sir.

[Windsor Appleton]

Would you care to ask me about the world situation?

[Susan Armstrong]

No. No.

[Windsor Appleton]

Well, then I'm your man.

[Susan Armstrong]

Are you married, Mr. Brundage?

[Windsor Appleton]

Oh, call me Bobby.

[Susan Armstrong]

Are you married, Bobby?

[Windsor Appleton]

No. And you sure are a pretty fairy.

[Susan Armstrong]

What do you think of Ramrod, the movie wonder horse?

[Windsor Appleton]

I think a future generation of hungry dogs is in for a real treat. Ms. Susan May. May I call you Susan?

[Susan Armstrong]

No, thanks.

[Windsor Appleton]

Oh, but you're my kind of woman, Sue.

[Susan Armstrong]

Let me go, you clown.

[Windsor Appleton]

Your hair smells sweeter than new mown.

[Susan Armstrong]

Hay nuzzling my permanent. Let go.

[Windsor Appleton]

Your skin is like the finest cordon.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Let go. You.

[Susan Armstrong]

Listen, you just wait until I go to press with my story on the great Bobby Brundy.

[Patience]

Hi, you pewter.

[George Harvey]

Oh, I hate to do this to the girl, but.

[Windsor Appleton]

Operator, get me the Hillsdale Daily News, will you? Yeah, thanks, honey. Hillsdale News? Well, let me talk to Mr. Prentice, please. The editor. Hello, Mr. Prentice? Well, this is Windsor Appleton, your new reporter. Yeah, yeah, I'm in Bobby Brun's suite at the hotel right now. No, no, I haven't gotten an interview yet, but I've given one out to Susan Armstrong of the Morning Star. Yeah, she didn't know I was reporter for your paper. She thought I was Bobby Brundage and I just let her keep on thinking it. Oh, will the Star look foolish when.

[Narrator]

It hits the street with that story?

[Windsor Appleton]

Yeah. Yeah, I'll wait for Bobby Brundage. She should be here any minute.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Hi, Ms. Armstrong.

[Susan Armstrong]

You and your rodeo star.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Rodeo star?

[Susan Armstrong]

Him too.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Him.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, hello, George.

[George Harvey]

Oh, hi, Susan.

[Patience]

How'd it go?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, it went for me and I went for home.

[Patience]

What?

[Susan Armstrong]

It went o a wolf in full cry.

[George Harvey]

I thought cowboys only kissed their horses and vice versa.

[Susan Armstrong]

Had the better things impressed on him.

[George Harvey]

Susan, did he make a pass at you?

[Susan Armstrong]

He did.

[George Harvey]

I'll see you later.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Oh, no.

[Susan Armstrong]

Come back, George.

[George Harvey]

Time out for Homicide.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, no, George, let it go.

[George Harvey]

I won't let it go.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'll just write this story and that'll murder it.

[Patience]

I'll murder him.

[George Harvey]

You just write the obituary.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, why don't you take a Nice long walk and cool off and I'll punch this story out for the next edition.

[George Harvey]

I'll take a long walk. But Brundage is the guy that's going to get cooled off.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, you'll feel better after lunch.

[George Harvey]

Yeah, with a nice meal of raw wolf under my belt. Cowboy, huh? You'll be the canvas kissing cowboy in about a minute.

[Patience]

Come on, open that door before I kick it down. Open up. Do you hear me in there?

[George Harvey]

Oh, well, hello.

[Susan Armstrong]

Hello.

[George Harvey]

I'm looking for Bobby Brundage.

[Bobby Brundage]

Your look is finished.

[Susan Armstrong]

Come on in, please.

[George Harvey]

Yeah, thanks.

[Bobby Brundage]

You're a tall, handsome one, ain't you?

[George Harvey]

All I want is Bobby Brundage. Be Boston old orange.

[Bobby Brundage]

I'm Bobby Brundage.

[George Harvey]

You're Bobby Brundage?

[Susan Armstrong]

Mm.

[Bobby Brundage]

What's your label, mister?

[George Harvey]

Well, where's the guy who was here about three hours ago?

[Bobby Brundage]

Oh, that reporter critter. I just threw him out headlong and out of pure spot. Did you happen to see what he wrote in the paper about me?

[George Harvey]

No, what?

[Bobby Brundage]

Here, you read it yourself in the Morning Star.

[George Harvey]

The Morning Star?

[Bobby Brundage]

He wrote it incensed.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

I'm plum furious.

[Bobby Brundage]

First of all, not even knowing that Bobby Brundage is a gal, and then bad mouthing poor little me something fierce.

[George Harvey]

Hmm. Sure doesn't resemble you in this story.

[Bobby Brundage]

Oh, I'm gonna sue that Morning Star till it really moans.

[George Harvey]

Oh, no, no, no, no, please don't do that, Mother.

[Bobby Brundage]

Fair name and the fair state I was born in has been insulted directly. I've already telephoned the other paper in town the News to tell them that I'm suing the Star.

[George Harvey]

Suppose the Star prints an apology?

[Bobby Brundage]

I demand satisfaction and an apology.

[George Harvey]

Well, look, gal says which gal? Take some good advice from an old cowhand. Don't be so hasty about suing the stars as yet.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Hey, you're from my country.

[George Harvey]

I don't let it come out among these here heathens. But when I meets a gal from God's choice property, why, gal, it just does something to me. It all comes back.

[Bobby Brundage]

Well, man, I'm sure enough pleasure to meet you. Way out here, Bobby Brundage is the moniker.

[George Harvey]

6 Gun George Harvey, Shake, Pardner.

[Patience]

Howdy, partner.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Brundage]

I thought you were just another one of them pesky newspaper men again.

[Patience]

Them mescal crazy critters.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, I should have known better.

[Bobby Brundage]

Fine strapping figure of a man like you.

[George Harvey]

Oh, shucks, ma'.

[Windsor Appleton]

Am.

[Bobby Brundage]

Don't know who's our sue is yet.

[George Harvey]

Susan, I'll be right pleased to hear that. Who Sue? Just happenstance. I Knows the girl. Susan Armstrong's the real moniker. Oh.

[Bobby Brundage]

Had a great, great grandma named Sue. Married a fine figure of a man. Fought with Hood's Brigade in the War between the States.

[Patience]

Well, how about likewise?

[Bobby Brundage]

Oh, shake.

[Patience]

Howdy.

[Bobby Brundage]

Imagine, it takes a lot of gals time suing folks.

[Patience]

Oh, it ain't worth it, Bob.

[George Harvey]

It ain't worth it at all.

[Bobby Brundage]

Got to think about it some, though. Maybe gals got better things to do sometimes.

[George Harvey]

Like which gal?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, you ain't a reporter.

[Bobby Brundage]

Well, gal, then you're my kind of man.

[George Harvey]

And you're my kind of gal. Yeah.

[Susan Armstrong]

See you real soon, George.

[George Harvey]

Pronto, gal.

[Susan Armstrong]

Hello.

[Bobby Brundage]

Gwynne and Barrett, attorneys at law. Mr. Gwyn. Y', all. Mr. Gwyn. Look here, mouthpiece. I want you to get the papers ready and soothe the brains out of that Morning Star. Calling Bobby Brundage a man and panning my show before they even see it. Yeah, $100,000. I'll tell you when to serve the papers. I want to have a little fun with his character. George Harvey. The idea, trying to kid me out of suing a Star. I'll teach him a lesson, too, while I'm about it.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yeah.

[Bobby Brundage]

So, what do you hear from my mom and pop in Brooklyn?

[Susan Armstrong]

He. But, Sammy, if you'd only told us Bobby Brundage was a girl.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Jimmy Armstrong. I thought you'd know that just by looking at her.

[Susan Armstrong]

There's something wrong with that argument, but I'm too upset to figure it out.

[Windsor Appleton]

Mayor.

[Susan Armstrong]

Come in. Oh, Bobby Brundage.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Grandma, what a deep voice you have.

[Susan Armstrong]

No, you may not come in.

[Windsor Appleton]

I feel I ought to apologize to you for playing such a trick on you this morning.

[Susan Armstrong]

Your apology is rejected, and you may now leave.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Go ahead, cop a sneak.

[Windsor Appleton]

But I'd like to do the right thing.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Ms. Armstrong, are you sure this isn't another wonderful, wonderful Hillsdale News trick?

[Windsor Appleton]

My Honor is Gate Appleton.

[Susan Armstrong]

Kate Appleton.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Gate Appleton? Well, I never heard of him.

[Susan Armstrong]

Sammy, leave me and Mr. Gate Appleton alone, please.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Okay. If he gets fresh, just holler out the door and I'll holler out the window.

[Windsor Appleton]

Well, now, my name is Windsor Appleton. I dropped the gate years ago.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, you certainly lowered the boom on me this morning.

[Windsor Appleton]

Well, it was my first job on a newspaper. I thought I was pretty clever. I never figured you'd be sued.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I've got to do some toll figuring now.

[Windsor Appleton]

Well, if you lose, I'll pay the damages. I can afford it.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm paying my own bills, thank you. And now you can go back to the News.

[Windsor Appleton]

I've quit the News.

[Susan Armstrong]

Why? You were doing famously.

[Windsor Appleton]

I thought you might hire me.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, sure. Most natural thing on earth be the hand that bites you. I. Oh, I don't know. I'm upset.

[Windsor Appleton]

My grandfather was a publisher and when he died, father sold the paper. But printer's ink is in my blood.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm sorry. My staff is complete now. Excuse me. Morning Star, Susan Armstrong speaking.

[Patience]

Ms. Armstrong, ma', am, this is George. Who? George Harvey.

[Susan Armstrong]

George?

[Patience]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, what's the idea of the bow legged delivery?

[Patience]

I. I am at the present moment with a young lady, Miss Bobby Brundage by name. Oh, And I've arranged to be the manager of the rodeo in town. And I'm giving you the story first.

[Susan Armstrong]

Stanks. I'll set it up in fiery letters.

[Patience]

Incidentally, Ms. Armstrong, Ma', Am, Ms. Brundage says she may hold off on suing you a wee bit in exchange for.

[Susan Armstrong]

Your services, shall we say? George, you come right back here.

[Patience]

I got to talk business with Bobby this evening.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, Bobby, already? That's fast.

[Patience]

No, ma', am, she's been that almost since birth.

[Susan Armstrong]

And I bet she's gotten cuter every day too.

[Patience]

To tell you the truth, ma', am, I just can't understand how some cowboys can be so affectionate through their cayuses.

[Susan Armstrong]

Cayuses.

[Patience]

Horses to you, horses to you.

[Susan Armstrong]

And goodbye, George Harvey.

[Windsor Appleton]

Now, what about me?

[Susan Armstrong]

You're hired.

[Narrator]

Now Back to our two stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray and the second act of our story. George Harvey has gone to work for pretty Bobby Brundage's rancho two bar a rodeo in order to persuade her not to sue the Morning Star, he says. George has stopped over at Bobby's luxurious hotel suite to discuss plans for opening night and to receive a totally unrehearsed shock. Get George's synthetic draw.

[George Harvey]

Well, Bobby gal, couple of more days and we're all set to go.

[Bobby Brundage]

Except in one thing. George likewise got to appoint a grand marshal for the rodeo.

[George Harvey]

Oh, sure, that's a fact. Now, who would you say gal, y'?

[Susan Armstrong]

All?

[Patience]

Me? All?

[George Harvey]

Well, I, I can't ride. I mean, I haven't got a horse.

[Patience]

A horse?

[Bobby Brundage]

Got a right handsome piebald Indian pony for you.

[George Harvey]

Oh, fine, fine. Not one of these meek spiritless critters. Not one of these gentle ones, eh?

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Oh, Murder Plot.

[George Harvey]

That's a plum promised name he's got there.

[Bobby Brundage]

Oh, you look wonderful on Murder Plot.

[Windsor Appleton]

Yeah.

[George Harvey]

How long though?

[Susan Armstrong]

Says witch.

[Patience]

How long am I gonna be grand marshal?

[Bobby Brundage]

Oh, just to lead the parade, announce an event or Two.

[George Harvey]

Uh huh.

[Bobby Brundage]

Now, what kind of saddle you like? High candle or low candy?

[George Harvey]

Well, whatever you'd like to see me in.

[Bobby Brundage]

All right. What kind of rose do you like?

[George Harvey]

Cinnamon or poppy seed, I reckon.

[Bobby Brundage]

You funny little old cow hand, you know. I mean, do you want buck and rolls for your saddle pats?

[Patience]

Oh, it sounds very appetizing.

[Bobby Brundage]

Just one little thing about murder plot ancestor. His was chased by Hood's cavalry in the War between the States, so murder plot. He gets scary anytime something Southern happens.

[George Harvey]

Well, I. I hope nobody whistles Dixie.

[Susan Armstrong]

Dixie, huh?

[George Harvey]

Because it so happens I'm heading for the last roundup.

[I]

How's your new reporter working out in the Star, Ms. Susan, this Windsor Appleton multimillionaire.

[Susan Armstrong]

Very well, Patience. He may have been born rich, but he's a born reporter, too.

[I]

Yeah, born with a silver scoop in his mouth.

[Susan Armstrong]

You might say he's prepared to support the Morningstar financially if Bobby Brundage sues and wins. Will she? I don't know. George claims he's trying to get her to call it off.

[I]

Haven't seen hide nor hair of Georgie boy lately.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'll present you with his hide and his scalp at the earliest.

[I]

Did you make a deal with some friendly Indians?

[Susan Armstrong]

If he's on the level about just managing the show for Bobby Brundage so he can get the suit called off. Why don't I hear from him, see more?

[I]

Well, I reckon somebody's a maybe watching him.

[Patience]

Right.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, Patience, not you, too.

[I]

It's nothing. And just see too many Westerns.

[Susan Armstrong]

I guess when George does call, he talks in that mail order draw, so I just know she's with him.

[I]

Surely business. I'll bet with George handling the rodeo for this here Bobby Brundage, it'll help keep her in the lower income bracket.

[Susan Armstrong]

That way she'll clean up.

[I]

She's no dummy.

[Susan Armstrong]

He's making a mess of the whole rodeo. But they aren't turning away half as many customers at the box office as they did last year.

[I]

Well, the arena is bigger this year.

[Susan Armstrong]

It is not.

[I]

Holds more people.

[Susan Armstrong]

It doesn't.

[I]

Okay. Smaller people are crowding in then.

[Susan Armstrong]

Patience, if Mr. Harvey should call or telephone, I'm not in, understand? That's definite and permanent. I am not in.

[I]

Beginning tomorrow, reduce in diets and embargoes. Always begin tomorrow.

[Susan Armstrong]

Answer the door, Patience. Just don't stand there chewing on epigrams. Answer the bell.

[I]

These shoes were built for cargo and not for speed.

[George Harvey]

Hiya, Patience.

[Susan Armstrong]

Georgie boy.

[I]

My, it's good to see you. After I find you under that 10 gallon hat.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Come on in. Oh, there you are. I spot.

[George Harvey]

Is Susan home? Patience.

[I]

Well, she isn't beginning tomorrow.

[George Harvey]

Why was tomorrow?

[I]

Don't worry. Tomorrow never comes.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, George.

[George Harvey]

Susan. Susan, how are you?

[Susan Armstrong]

Fine, George. And you?

[I]

Excuse me, I'll step into the kitchen and chew on a few dehydrated epigrams.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, sit down, George.

[George Harvey]

Thanks, I've been sitting, but I'll relax anyhow.

[Susan Armstrong]

Driving a lot.

[George Harvey]

A hay burner, A horse in secret, A souped up job named Murder Plot.

[Susan Armstrong]

But you can't ride a horse.

[George Harvey]

Well, this isn't properly speaking, a horse. It's Bl's. A bub in disguise. He's got three little human skulls tattooed on his cowling for riders. He's liquidated.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, George, I'm afraid for you.

[George Harvey]

Oh, I don't need any help being scared. I. I can do it myself.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, but three is a lucky number, isn't it?

[George Harvey]

Yeah. Of course, the next lucky number is seven. You keep on thinking of how unlucky you have to be until you're lucky again.

[Susan Armstrong]

But why do you want to ride Murder Plot?

[George Harvey]

I don't want to, but I am grand marshal of the rodeo.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, has he thrown you yet?

[George Harvey]

No, no, because I'm onto his past. One of his horsey ancestors got chased by Confederate cavalry and to this day his descendants get nervous when anything Southern happens. Like fried chicken.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, nonsense.

[George Harvey]

And you just can't get Murder Plot out of bed in the morning of the anniversary of Bull Run.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, you fool.

[George Harvey]

How have you been?

[Windsor Appleton]

Fine.

[George Harvey]

You're looking fine.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, yes, I've been fine.

[George Harvey]

Fine.

[Susan Armstrong]

How you been?

[George Harvey]

Oh, good, good, good. How you. I. Yeah, yeah, I've missed you too.

[Susan Armstrong]

I didn't say that, did I?

[George Harvey]

I said it.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I was going to say it. I have missed you.

[George Harvey]

Honest.

[Susan Armstrong]

Very much. It gets pretty hectic around the office sometimes and, well, that's when we miss you.

[George Harvey]

You. You really haven't worried about Bobby?

[Susan Armstrong]

Of course not.

[George Harvey]

I'm just humoring the poor little girl. Of course not a thing between us.

[Susan Armstrong]

No, just like the rumors about me and Windsor Appleton being seen together. Oh, yeah, there's nothing to it.

[George Harvey]

I. I hear he's loaded.

[Susan Armstrong]

Paid no attention.

[George Harvey]

No, I don't. I don't. What a relief not to have to try to talk like a cowboy.

[Susan Armstrong]

You know, I thought it was getting to be rather becoming on you.

[George Harvey]

Real nice girl, that Susan Armstrong.

[Susan Armstrong]

George.

[George Harvey]

What?

[Susan Armstrong]

Your cuffs.

[George Harvey]

Oh, have I been figuring costs on them again?

[Susan Armstrong]

Those cufflinks.

[Windsor Appleton]

Oh, so Gold, no doubt.

[George Harvey]

Well, only through to the other side.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, very nice.

[George Harvey]

Now, Susan.

[Susan Armstrong]

Barbara. They say Barbara. Oh, splendid.

[George Harvey]

They do not.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I can read.

[George Harvey]

They do not say Barbara.

[Susan Armstrong]

They don't say it, but they sure spell it. Oh, what exquisite taste. Now, Susan, do you have her name tattooed on your chest too?

[George Harvey]

It does not say Barbara on your chest. The cufflinks. The cufflinks. It says Bar.

[Patience]

Bar A. Bar.

[George Harvey]

Bar A for Rancho.

[Windsor Appleton]

Bar.

[George Harvey]

Bar A is the brand mark.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, ingenious.

[Patience]

Not bad.

[Susan Armstrong]

Talk about Windsor being loaded.

[George Harvey]

There's a quick change for you.

[Susan Armstrong]

What about that simpering cowgirl of yours? Simply rolling in oil wells in that rancho of hers.

[Bobby Brundage]

It ain't hardly much larger than plucky little old Bill Jim, but I calls it whole.

[George Harvey]

She never said that.

[Bobby Brundage]

Bar.

[Susan Armstrong]

Bar. A. Solid gold. A quarter of a pound, honest weight. Suppose you fell into deep water with those anchors on your wrist.

[George Harvey]

Now, look here, Susan Armstrong, you don't.

[Susan Armstrong]

Take that home with me.

[George Harvey]

Well, after all, you engaged this Windsor Appleton treasure boat to work for you.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, well, only because I needed a reporter and you abandoned me for Longhorn.

[George Harvey]

Lizzie, I didn't abandon you. I' to help you.

[I]

Oh, trying to help me, you know that.

[Susan Armstrong]

All right, I'm trying to help you. By making your absence in the office unfelt.

[George Harvey]

I was a fool to come here the beginning tomorrow.

[Susan Armstrong]

Don't come here tonight anymore. Done, sealed and delivered. Good night.

[Patience]

Good night.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, and please leave the furniture.

[Patience]

Good night.

[George Harvey]

I'm sorry.

[Windsor Appleton]

Sorry. I just going to ring the bell.

[Patience]

Good evening.

[Windsor Appleton]

Good evening. Oh, Susan.

[Patience]

Susan.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, Windsor. I wasn't expecting you tonight.

[Windsor Appleton]

Oh, sister, wait till you hear what I know about Bobby Brundage. Girl wrangler.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm really surprised. George rides that horse rather well.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

He handles that piebald like a major.

[Susan Armstrong]

There's nothing repulsive about that little Bobby Brundage article either.

[Windsor Appleton]

She's real cute in that white buckskin out there.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Here we go.

[Patience]

First event, ladies and gentlemen, no more murder.

[I]

Your announcer is George Harvey.

[Patience]

Welcome to the Rancho Two Bar a Rodeo with his charming queen, Bobby Frundy.

[Susan Armstrong]

Mr. Appleton, please stop making those disgusting noises.

[Patience]

Later in the evening, Bobby will astound you with amazing feats of horsemanship and Western skill. Now, the first event, the bucking horse contest featuring.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Oh, I wish I was the Land of God. My goodness.

[Susan Armstrong]

He's bolting. The horse is bolting.

[Patience]

Whoa.

[Bobby Brundage]

They're bolting.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Whoa. Bolting. Ride him, cowboy. You're through, George. George will be killed. Phantom cowboy.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Phantom George is still on there.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Good boy, George. Good boy, George. Cowboy. Phantom Cowboy. Break him, break him, break him. I'm losing my. I mean, ride him, George. Ride him, George.

[Susan Armstrong]

Murder.

[Patience]

Flop.

[Susan Armstrong]

Attaboy, cowboy. We love you. We love you.

[I]

Stop.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

The horse is standing still.

[Windsor Appleton]

But why is George still going up and down?

[Susan Armstrong]

He's won.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Come on, let's go down. Congratulate him.

[Susan Armstrong]

George. You were just wonderful out there.

[I]

We're proud of you, Georgie boy.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

You're a man after my own heart.

[Windsor Appleton]

Wait a minute. So am I. Bobby, put her there.

[Sammy the Copy Boy]

Mr. Harvey.

[Patience]

Uhhuh.

[Bobby Brundage]

Please accept my apology for starting your host, the Bucket. I'm not mad at you anymore, George.

[Susan Armstrong]

How about coming over for dinner tonight?

[Bobby Brundage]

Buffet dinner.

[Susan Armstrong]

Standing up, that is.

[Narrator]

Our stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back in a moment.

[Susan Armstrong]

You really ride very well, George.

[George Harvey]

Well, thank you, Susan. Of course, I will say I learned the hard way. You know, this bridle path's a little different from the last place I rode a horse.

[Susan Armstrong]

Too bad Windsor and Bobby can't be here.

[George Harvey]

You know, I don't think they care. They're honeymooning in Prospect Park, Brooklyn.

[Susan Armstrong]

Who would have dreamed it? A Gate Appleton and a corn fed Bobby Brundage, both hailing from Brooklyn.

[George Harvey]

South Brooklyn.

[Patience]

Well, come on, Miss Armstrong man.

[Narrator]

I'll race you to the south corral.

[Bobby Brundage]

Right, cowboy.

[Susan Armstrong]

Spur up your horse. Horse, horse.

[George Harvey]

Once a cowhand, ma', am, always a.

[Unnamed Cowboy Friend]

Cowhand, I always say.

[Narrator]

Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure in the gay new series Bright Star. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to join us.

[Windsor Appleton]

Then.