Christmas Dramas xx-xx-xx Santa Claus Jones

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Santa Claus Jones (Aired: November 30, 2025)

Overview

This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio presents the classic Christmas radio drama Santa Claus Jones, starring Charlie Ruggles. Set on a poignant Christmas Eve, the story follows the transformation of B.L. Wilkins, a miserly, lonely man facing his final hours. Through mystical intervention and the innocence of children, Wilkins rediscovers joy, compassion, and the true spirit of Christmas. The episode is filled with humor, touching moments, and the warm sentimentality characteristic of Golden Age radio, all wrapped in a heartwarming holiday message.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. Setting the Scene: Christmas Eve at the Hollywood Theater

• The audience is welcomed by C.P. McGregor, who sets a festive, nostalgic mood, referencing classic Christmas imagery and introducing the play (00:26).
• Quote:

  “As you take your seats and the house lights gradually dim, perhaps you might hear the silent words coming out of the past. ’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house...”
  — C.P. McGregor (00:26)

2. Introduction of B.L. Wilkins: The Lonely Old Miser

• Wilkins, a wealthy but deeply unhappy man, is bedridden and ill, his end near and unmourned (02:19).
• His only company is a doctor and nurse; Wilkins is irascible and hostile, even as he is told he is dying.
  • Quote:

    “Doctors. Nurses. Idiots. That’s what you are. You’re idiots. Go on, get out. Get out, all of you.”
    — Mr. B.L. Wilkins (03:43)

3. Supernatural Visit: The Grim Reaper Arrives

• As Wilkins passes, the personification of Death comes to claim him, but they are interrupted by Nurse Wright, who says Death cannot claim anyone on Christmas Eve (04:59 – 06:43).
• A mystical reprieve is granted; Wilkins has until midnight to experience the world anew.

4. A Chance for Redemption: Meeting David the Orphan

• Wilkins is encouraged to see the world through new eyes and meets David, a young orphan searching for Santa Claus to help his friend Dodie (08:17).
• David’s innocence and story touch Wilkins, despite his gruff denial.
  • Quote:

    “Santa Claus would know where to come if we had our own Christmas tree... That’s what comes from telling children fairy stories. A Christmas tree.”
    — Mr. B.L. Wilkins (10:21)

• Wilkins anonymously delivers a Christmas tree to the orphanage, claiming to be "Santa Claus" (11:28).

5. Transformation Through Giving

• Wilkins is drawn further into the children's world, trimming the tree with them—his first experience of true holiday spirit (13:25 – 14:47).
  • Quote:

    “In spite of himself, Mr. Jones wears a smile, for he is more than a little pleased with his artistic ability.”
    — Narration (13:25)

• The tree feels incomplete, prompting a trip with David to Wilkins’ own grand store to gather toys for the children (15:53 – 17:13). He tells David to take what he likes: “It’s Christmas, isn’t it?”

6. The Gift of Healing: Dodie’s Operation

• Wilkins learns about Dodie's medical needs and pays for her operation to help her walk again, writing a personal check as B.L. Wilkins.
  • Quote:

    “Take this and see that Dodie gets everything she needs.”
    — Mr. B.L. Wilkins (20:05)

7. Midnight Approaches: The Reckoning

• As midnight nears, Wilkins (now “Mr. Jones”) is content but aware his time is up. Death returns to claim him, but the children’s gratitude and song intervene (21:22).
• A moving moment, as David tells Mr. Jones,

  “You fixed it so we could have... You’re an awful nice man, Mr. Jones. You’ll go to heaven when you die.”
  — David (20:57)

• Death is staved off, and Wilkins is told he will return every Christmas.

8. Resolution: The Spirit of Christmas Lives On

• Wilkins laments not saying goodbye, but learns he’ll visit every year at Christmas (23:38 – 23:48).
  • Quote:

    “You’ll be coming back every Christmas.”
    — Nurse Wright (23:42)

• The story ends with a sense of redemption and eternal return to kindness.

9. Curtain Call and Closing Banter

• The play closes with lighthearted banter between C.P. McGregor and Charlie Ruggles, breaking the fourth wall with jokes about famous comedians and thanks to the audience (24:46 – 26:05).
• C.P. McGregor delivers a classic, heartfelt sign-off:
  • Quote:

    “May this December 25th bring you joy, Unlimited Happiness Incorporated and a consolidated company of good health, wealth and peace of mind.”
    — C.P. McGregor (26:05)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “You have until midnight. And, Mr. Wilkins, a word of advice. … Why don’t you take a little stroll while you’re waiting? Look the world over.”
  — Nurse Wright (06:48)

• “My name? It’s Mr. BL. Wilk—No, lad. My name’s Jones. Just plain Mr. Jones.”
  — Mr. B.L. Wilkins (12:55)

• “This is the first time I’m really enjoying myself.”
  — Mr. B.L. Wilkins (17:26)

• “You fixed it so we could have... You’re an awful nice man, Mr. Jones. You’ll go to heaven when you die.”
  — David (20:57)

• “You’ll be coming back every Christmas.”
  — Nurse Wright (23:42)

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Memorable Moments

• The intervention by Nurse Wright, preventing Death from claiming Wilkins on Christmas Eve (06:18 – 06:48).
• Wilkins, awkwardly but cheerfully, engaging with the orphans and Christmas tree for the first time (13:25 – 14:45).
• The toy “shopping spree” in Wilkins’ closed department store (15:53 – 17:13).
• David singing a Christmas carol with the other children for Mr. Jones, moving him deeply (22:03 – 22:22).
• Wilkins’ transformation, anonymity, and redemption as he gives of himself, finally choosing to be “just plain Mr. Jones.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Opening & Introduction: 00:26 – 02:19
• Wilkins Faces Death: 03:25 – 06:48
• Wilkins Meets David: 08:17 – 10:21
• Wilkins Delivers the Tree: 10:44 – 11:37
• Orphanage Christmas with Mr. Jones: 13:25 – 14:47
• Toy Store Visit: 15:53 – 17:13
• Dodie’s Operation Funded: 19:29 – 20:14
• Death Returns / Redemption: 21:38 – 23:48
• Curtain Call & Closing Thoughts: 24:18 – 26:05

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Tone and Style

• The tone is nostalgic, gentle, and heartwarming, with light touches of humor.
• Dialogue is lively and natural, with classic Golden Age radio characterization.
• The episode balances whimsical fantasy (personified Death and Christmas magic) with sincere emotional transformation.

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Conclusion

Santa Claus Jones is both a redemption fable and a celebration of Christmas generosity. Charlie Ruggles delivers a memorable performance as B.L. Wilkins, whose journey from embittered miser to benevolent “Santa” encapsulates the enduring spirit of Christmas. The episode is rich in classic dramatic style, emotional growth, and the simple, restorative power of kindness and human connection. An evocative treat for listeners seeking classic storytelling with timeless holiday themes.

Transcript

[C.P. McGregor]

A very special Christmas greeting from Hollywood. Ladies and gentlemen, this is C.P. mcGregor making like Santa Claus by the big tinseled and jewel like Christmas tree in the lobby of our Hollywood Theater of stars. As you take your seats and the house lights gradually dim, perhaps you might hear the silent words coming out of the past. Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. And so the curtain will rise in just a moment on such a quiet house after this word from your announcer, and then you'll hear the story of Santa Claus Jones, starring that fine actor, Charlie Ruggles. And now, as I said before, your announcer.

[David]

Sam.

[C.P. McGregor]

Beyond the blaze of lights of the foots, the curtain goes up and the stage is set for the first act of Santa Claus Jones starring Charlie Ruggles. All his life, Mr. B.L. welkins has been able to buy everything he wanted. That is, up until now. For, you see, Mr. Wilkins is not a well man. And even his fortune won't buy back his youth and health and happiness, though he'd never really been happy. And perhaps it's poetic justice that such a mean old codger is scheduled to say his farewell to this world on a beautiful Christmas Eve.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Mr. Wilkins.

[Doctor]

Mr. Wilkins.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, how is you again? Go away. I hate doctors.

[Doctor]

Mr. Wilkins. How do you feel?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I feel like a cigar. Get me one.

[Doctor]

No, I'm sorry. No cigars. You're a very sick man, Mr. Wilkins.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah, I'm sick.

[Doctor]

Huh?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I'm going to die. I heard you and the nurse talking. Well, that's all right with me, but I want a cigar before I die. Doctors. Nurses. Idiots. That's what you are. You're idiots. Go on, get out. Get out, all of you. Get out. What is that?

[Doctor]

What, sir?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

That noise out in the street.

[Doctor]

Oh, you mean the singers. They're singing carols. Mr. Wilkins, this is Christmas Eve.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I know what night it is, but you tell him to stop. I don't like singing.

[Doctor]

I. Mr. Wilkins.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I don't like singing.

[Doctor]

Mr. Wilkins. Mr. Wilkins. Nurse.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Yes, doctor?

[Doctor]

He's gone. Oh, tell the press. They're waiting downstairs. Tell them he died alone. No friends or living relatives. Just you and me. Doctor and nurse in attendance.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Yes, sir.

[Doctor]

I'll go down with you.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

All right, Doctor.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Mr. Wilkins.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Mr. Wilkins, wake up. Mr. Wilkins.

[Doctor]

Wake up.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Who are you?

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

You don't know me. Oh, that's a good one. Why, I'm a friend of yours, Mr. Wilkins.

[C.P. McGregor]

Here.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Here, have a cigar.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

A cigar? Why, see, that's my brand. Too.

[Doctor]

Light.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

See, that's all Right. Very fine, Very fine. You know, you look familiar. Haven't I seen you someplace before?

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

It's possible. Quite possible.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Just who are you?

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Why, I'm the fellow that everyone's told.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

You to go to. Now, wait a minute. Nobody's ever told me to go anyplace except to the. Say, you couldn't be. Ah, but of course.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

I thought you knew.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

What are you doing here?

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

I came to call for you. First class service to all our clients. Are you ready to go, Mr. Wilkins?

[David]

Wait.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Curses. Oh, it's you.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Yes, it's I. And by the look of things, it seems that I'm just in time.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Who is she?

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Don't pay any attention to her. She works for another department. Always trying to mess in my business, though. Come on, Mr. Wilkins.

[David]

No, wait.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

I say, what's the idea?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

You can't take this man yet.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Oh, I can't? Well, here. Here's my requisition slip for him. Read it for yourself.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

I know, but you're still overlooking one thing. You're not allowed to take anyone on Christmas Eve. You should know the rules by now.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Oh, what difference does it make? Christmas Eve or not, it makes a lot of difference.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

But you wouldn't understand that.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Do you mean to tell me I can't take this man until Christmas Eve is over?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

I mean just that.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Oh, all right, all right. But it sounds silly to me.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Then, Mr. Wilkins.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

You have until midnight. And, Mr. Wilkins, a word of advice.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah, what?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Why don't you take a little stroll while you're waiting? Look the world over.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

What do I want to look at the world for? I've seen it.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Really seen it. No, I don't think so.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah. Now, look here, young lady. Don't tell me I've lived for 63 years. I've seen everything there is to see.

[David]

You think so?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Have you ever seen children hanging their stockings for the fireplace on Christmas Eve?

[C.P. McGregor]

Mm.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Did you ever see faith and happiness? Did you ever see love, Mr. Wilkins?

[C.P. McGregor]

Love?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Poppycock.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

That's it, Wilkins, old pal. You tell her. Love.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Go ahead and laugh, Mr. Wilkins. If you weren't so interested in being Mr. Big Important Bl. Wilkins. If you tried being just plain Mr. Jones for a while, you might be able to enjoy the few hours you have left. Think it over. Goodbye.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

I'm glad she's gone. She's a meddler. Now, don't pay any attention to her, Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Who wants to be Mr. Jones?

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Nobody, of course.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, I think I'll get a breath of fresh air. It's a Little stuffy in here. I'll. I'll see you when it's time, I suppose.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

I'll be there. Oh, yes, and here. Here's some more cigars for you. Enjoy yourself. Have a good time while you can. After all, you know, nobody lives forever.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, yes, I know. The air feels good. I think I'll walk around here now. What's this? What's this? Who's whimpering? Who's that? Oh, you. Huh? What's wrong with you, boy?

[David]

I was looking for someone and I can't find them.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, that's no reason to sit out here in the cold and cry about it. Where's your coat anyway? Haven't you got sense enough to wear one?

[David]

I don't have any.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Where do you live?

[David]

Downtown.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Uh huh. How'd you get up here?

[David]

Walked.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

What? Without a coat? You must be a little idiot. How old are you?

[David]

Eight.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh. What's your name?

[David]

David.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

And who were you looking for?

[David]

Santa Claus.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Santa Claus? Well, of all you are a little idiot.

[David]

But I just have to find him. You see, it isn't for me specially. It's for Dodie. She's the one who needs it.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Dodie? Dodie? What are you talking about?

[David]

She's one of the kids at the home. I live there too.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Home? Yeah. What home?

[David]

The city home.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, you're a foundling, huh?

[David]

Oh, no, sir. We're orphans.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, I see. Well, go on.

[David]

Well, last year, before Dodie came to the home, she got run over by an automobile. And she don't walk so good, has to wear something on her leg. But us kids wrote a letter to Santa Claus about it.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

You wrote a letter to Santa Claus? What for?

[David]

We asked him to bring us a Christmas tree and maybe hang something on it that would help Dodie to walk like other kids. He didn't even bring the tree, though. Maybe he forgot.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

All right, all right. Now stop sniveling. A Christmas tree isn't anything.

[David]

Yes, it is. It's a lot. I bet you Santa Claus would know where to come if we had our own Christmas tree. He could see the lights and things.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Boy, you're being foolish. Frankly, I don't know why I'm bothering with you. Here. Here's 10 cents. Now you take the bus across the street and be on your way. If you don't, I'll call the police and have them put you in jail. You heard me. Now go along now. Quick, quick, quick. Hurry up. Go on.

[David]

All right.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

The young fool. Santa Claus would know where to come if he had a Christmas Tree. That's what comes from telling children fairy stories. A Christmas tree.

[David]

Yes, sir.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

May I help you?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

This. This is the city home.

[David]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I. You have a young lad here by the name of David.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Why. Why, yes, we do. Matter of fact, the boy wandered away this evening. He just came back a few minutes ago.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, yes, that's the boy, all right. Well, will you see that he gets this, please?

[David]

Why. Why, is it.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, it's a Christmas tree. What of it? Is there anything wrong with that?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Why, no, certainly not.

[David]

It's very kind of you to think.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Of the children they'll appreciate.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Doctor]

Well.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, here's a box here too. It's the trimmings and the lights and all that sort of thing.

[David]

Oh, my, that's nice.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes. Yes. Well, I be going now.

[C.P. McGregor]

Oh.

[David]

Oh, just. Just a moment, please.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

You didn't tell me your name, sir.

[David]

Who should I say sent the tree?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, tell the boy. Tell the boy it was Santa Claus.

[David]

Santa Claus?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, you heard me. Goodbye.

[David]

Mr. Mister.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Huh? Oh, it's you. Land.

[David]

What you come here for? Where are you going?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, I, I. Oh, look.

[David]

It's a Christmas tree, David.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Isn't it lovely?

[David]

Oh, it sure is. Where'd it come from? Why, it. Where'd it come from, Ms. Wright? Well, it. Santa Claus brought it, I suppose. Gosh, then he did remember? He did. Oh, and what about the present for Dodie? Did he bring that too? Well, David, I've been.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, lad, he's been pretty busy this year. I talked to him, and that's all we had time to bring. Maybe next year.

[David]

Next year?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, yes, that's not so very long. A year goes by. Before you know it. It's hardly any time at all, boy. Hardly any time at all. Well, good night.

[David]

Oh, you aren't gonna leave, are you?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, yes, I don't have much time.

[David]

Oh, but I want you to stay and help us trim the tree.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, now, that's out of the question. I don't know anything about trimming Christmas trees. I don't.

[David]

I can show you. It'll only take a little while.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Yes.

[David]

Why don't you stay, sir?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

We'd love to have you.

[David]

No, I don't really stay for just a little bit, anyway.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, all right, but just for a minute or two. Then I'll have to go. Positively.

[David]

Gee, that's. Well. Well, come on, I'll Say, what's your name?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

My name? It's Mr. Bl. Wilk. No, lad. My name's Jones. Just plain Mr. Jones.

[David]

Well, come on, Mr. Jones, I'll show you around.

[C.P. McGregor]

Down falls the curtain in the first act of our special Christmas play, Santa Claus Jones, starring Charlie Ruggles. In a moment, our story will continue. But now, this Christmas message from our sponsor. The house lights are dimming like the stars at dawn. The curtain goes up. And here's Act 2 of Santa Claus Jones, starring Charlie Ruggles. At the city home, Mr. B.L. wilkins, alias Mr. Jones, has just added the finishing touches to his very first attempt at decorating a Christmas tree. Now, together with young Master David and the others looking on, he steps back to survey his handiwork. In spite of himself, Mr. Jones wears a smile, for he is more than a little pleased with his artistic ability.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, well, children, what do you think of it?

[David]

Super. Real super. It sure was nice of you to help U.S. fix it, Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah.

[David]

Yes, I'm sorry I couldn't help much.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, now, that's all right, Dodie. You did your share.

[David]

David said I may be next to Santa Claus. Will bring me a present to make my leg all right again. Oh, I'll really be able to help then, won't I, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, Dodie, you certainly will.

[David]

Do you really think so, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, now, I told you once, didn't I? Now, don't bother me.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

I'm.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Can't you see I'm busy with this tree? Now, let's see.

[David]

It's all finished, Mr. Jones. There's nothing else to do.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

No, no, it isn't finished. There's something missing. I've never had much experience with Christmas trees, but I feel that there is something missing.

[David]

What, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, I don't quite know. Or do I? Yes, sir, that's it. By heaven, that's it. Come on, David. You and I have got things to do.

[David]

Gee, what a big store. Is this where we're going, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes.

[David]

Boy, sure is a tall building, too. B L, W, I L. Wilkins and co. What does B.L. wilkins and Coe mean, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

It means Wilkins and Company. Come on, we'll go inside.

[David]

Hey, there's nobody here, Mr. Jones. The store is all closed.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, that's all right. We'll go in anyway.

[David]

Gee, you got a key? How come you got a key?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, I work here.

[David]

Oh, gosh, it sure must be fun to work in a big store like this, huh?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Fun? No, I'm afraid not, boy. No, there's never been any fun here. Come along, David. We'll go upstairs. Well, I think this is the floor. Let's switch on the lights.

[David]

Gosh, Gee, look at toys. It's all new toys.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, now, these are what we forgot to put under the tree. Now, you pick out the toys you want and some you think your friends would like, and we'll take them with us.

[David]

You mean, we can have anything we want?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Why, certainly. It's Christmas, isn't it? Now, go along with you.

[David]

Aw, gee, Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah, you heard me. Now scat. Scat before I change my mind.

[David]

Yes, sir. Wilkins.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Wilkins. Oh, it's you again.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

What's gotten into you? Don't you know these toys cost money?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, so it's my money. I can spend it the way I wish, can't I? Matter of fact, this is the first time I'm really enjoying myself.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Enjoying yourself? Making a fool of yourself, that's what you mean.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I don't think so.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

You don't think so? Well, you just go ahead. Keep this up and see what'll get you. Remember, you've been on my side all your life. You can't shake me. And I'll be waiting for you at midnight.

[David]

Mr. Jones, where are you?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah, what is it, David?

[David]

Can I take this train? And the popcorn?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, yes, of course. Take anything you want, lad, but we'd better hurry and get it all together. It's getting late, and we have another stop to make on our way home.

[David]

Another stop? What for, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

To see a man.

[David]

What man?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

A man that might turn out to be Santa Claus.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Dodie, this is Dr. Taylor. He wants to ask you a few questions, dear.

[David]

All right. What does he want to know?

[Doctor]

Well, first we'll sit you right down here. Now, Dodie, we're going to try to fix it so you don't have to wear this brace anymore. But you've got to help us.

[David]

Sure.

[Doctor]

We're going to take the brace off, and it may hurt a little, but you never cry, do you?

[David]

No, I don't think so.

[Doctor]

That's a good girl. Now, hold still. Easy. Now, I want you to try to bend your leg.

[C.P. McGregor]

Go ahead.

[Doctor]

We'll try anyway.

[David]

I, I, I, I can't.

[Doctor]

Yes, well, that's all there is to it. We'll just slip this brace back on.

[David]

I'm never going to get well. Oh, my.

[Doctor]

Why, of course you are, Dodie.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Of course.

[Doctor]

You just sit here. Now, Miss Wright, may we go in here?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Of course, Doctor.

[Doctor]

Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, Doctor? Well, what's. What's wrong with the child?

[Doctor]

Obviously, Osteoma miletus. It's a bone disease.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, can it be cured?

[Doctor]

In this case, I'd say so. It'll require an operation however, to remove the infected section of bone.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Can you perform the operation?

[Doctor]

Yes.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

And when will she be able to walk correctly again?

[Doctor]

With the proper care, Eight months by next Christmas, then. Undoubtedly.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, then, here's a check, Ms. Wright. I want you to witness this signature. I'm signing the check, B.L. wilkins. It'll clear the bank, though. Take this and see that Dodie gets everything she needs.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Oh, Mr. Jones, I don't know what to say.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, now, don't say anything except Merry Christmas to Dodie from, well, Santa Claus, of course.

[David]

Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, David.

[David]

We all heard about what Santa Claus said to Dodie. It sure is swell, isn't it?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, it is.

[David]

But you know something, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah, what?

[David]

David, I didn't tell anybody, but I kind of got a feeling that you had something to do with.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, nonsense. Now, that's silly. I've done nothing. I, I.

[David]

Yes, you have.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

No, I.

[David]

You fixed it so we could have. You're an awful nice man, Mr. Jones. You'll go to heaven when you die. Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I wouldn't be too sure about that land.

[David]

Oh, of course you will. You just wait and see. But come on now, Mr. Jones, it's almost 12 o'. Clock.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

12 o'?

[David]

Clock? Yeah, we'll have to be in bed real soon.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Almost 12. Why, it's five minutes until bed.

[David]

We better hurry.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, yes. Well, you go along, David. I'll join you in a minute.

[David]

All right, but hurry up, Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes, yes, right away. Right away.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Who are you kidding, Wilkins? You're not going anyplace except with me.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Right on time, aren't you?

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Better than that. A few minutes early.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, are you ready to go? Yes, I suppose so.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Well, come on.

[C.P. McGregor]

Oh, and here, have a cigar.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

It's going to be a long trip.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

No, I don't want a cigar. I just want a cigar.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Mr. Jones, it's that little urchin again.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Get rid of him quickly. Yes, David.

[David]

Mr. Jones, we've been thanking. We don't know how to thank you for everything. Well, we sing in the choir at church, and so we thought we'd sing your Christmas carol. Would you like that, Mr. Jones?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Like it? Yes, David. For the first time in my life, I believe I would.

[David]

Well, come on then. Everybody play for us.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Ms. Wright, you can't say for this. Wilkins, it's time for us to leave.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Now, wait a minute. I don't come alone. Oh, all right.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Hello.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, hello, Bill. Where did you come from?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Oh, nowhere in particular.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

But where's. Where's the fellow I'm supposed To go with.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

He's gone.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Gone? Yeah. But I thought j.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

You couldn't stay because. Yes, because of that.

[Death / Reaper / Grim Reaper]

Listen.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, I see. Yes, I believe I do.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Fine. Well, I suppose we'd better be getting along.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Had we?

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Mm. You're thinking of something.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, I do wish I could have said goodbye to the boy. Oh, that.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Well, I wouldn't worry. You see, you'll be coming back every Christmas.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

I will?

[David]

Of course.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

I thought you knew. Well, shall we go?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yes. Yes, we'll go.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Oh, and here, would you care for a cigar?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

But I thought I wasn't supposed to have those.

[Nurse / Ms. Wright]

Well, Merry Christmas, Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Thank you. Thank you.

[C.P. McGregor]

The curtain rings down in the final happy scene of Santa Claus Jones starring Charlie Ruggles. In a moment or two, I'll return to the scene with the old bearded gentleman with a cherry red nose and a tummy like a bowl full of jelly and masquerading as Charlie Ruggles. But first, your announcer has a word or two of cheer to impart. Well, Charlie, it seems that everything finally turned out all right with our Mr. Jones.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Yeah, didn't it?

[C.P. McGregor]

Although I'll admit for a time I didn't think he'd be able to shake that gentleman who came to call for him.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, in the first place, C.P. that gentleman was no gentleman. And in the second place, you're really playing with fire when you start fooling around with a fellow who comes from.

[C.P. McGregor]

I know what you mean, Charlie. Oh, you.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, I'm.

[Doctor]

You do.

[C.P. McGregor]

But enough of that unworthy soul. What do you say we get onto a more pleasant subject?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, such as?

[C.P. McGregor]

Well, you know, we could talk about a fella named Charlie Ruggles. Ruggles? Ruggles.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

You know, that name has a familiar ring to it.

[C.P. McGregor]

He's a comedian in pictures, remember?

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, you mean that funny looking, absent minded little guy with a mustache? Yeah, I can't stand him. I like Bob Hope myself. Now, there's a fella that's really got Ruggles. What am I? Well, that's me.

[C.P. McGregor]

Really. Yeah.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, that was silly of me, wasn't it? Huh?

[C.P. McGregor]

Charlie, we were talking about Bob Hope.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Hope?

[C.P. McGregor]

Oh, yes.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, Hope.

[C.P. McGregor]

Yeah. Yes.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, I suppose he's all right if you like that style of comedy. As for me, I. I prefer someone more like. Well, we were just talking about.

[C.P. McGregor]

Yes.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Oh, no, you don't.

[C.P. McGregor]

No, you don't.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

See, Pete, you'll never trick me into it.

[C.P. McGregor]

Seriously, Charlie, it's really been swell having you here with us tonight. You gave a performance we won't soon forget.

[Mr. B.L. Wilkins / Mr. Jones]

Well, thanks kindly, C.P. i enjoyed every minute of it. And I'll be looking forward to doing another show for you and your very fine sponsor.

[C.P. McGregor]

Make it soon, Charlie, and even sooner than soon. And to you, a very merry Christmas. Those sentiments reach out to all of you within the sound of my voice. And if telepathy is in order, even to the beyond. Beyond the Beyond. May this December 25th bring you joy, Unlimited Happiness Incorporated and a consolidated company of good health, wealth and peace of mind. This is C.P. mcGregor saying, Merry, merry Christmas and the happiest of all New Years. Thanks for listening and cheerio. From Santa Claus Lane in Hollywood.

[Doctor]

Sam.