
Cinnamon Bear 37-113-0 04 The Inkaboos
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Cinnamon Bear
And here's the Cinnamon Bear.
Sam.
Ram.
Sam.
Narrator
Well, Judy and Jimmy and the Cinnamon Bear overtook the crazy Quilled dragon last time and cornered him on a cliff overlooking the Rootbeer Ocean. But no amount of persuasion could make him hand over the Silver Star which he had stolen. So nothing remained but to scare him. And scare him they did. And what did Crazy Quill do but leap off the cliff and land ker slash in the ocean? They rushed down to meet him as he came dripping through the root beer waves, only to discover that he had dropped the Silver Star when he jumped. It's lost again. Everyone is muchly disturbed and Crazy Quilt is hanging his head.
Cinnamon Bear
This is a pretty kettle of halibuts, if I do say so myself.
Jimmy
You're a fine kind of a dragon. First you steal our Silver Star and then you go and lose it.
Crazy Quilt
Oh, me. Nothing but shame do I get. Shame to the left of me, shame to the right of me.
Jimmy
You're extra bad and you know it. Now, Jimmy, don't be so mean to Crazy Quilt. He said he was sorry.
Crazy Quilt
Ah, my gracious young lady. Do I detect a note of sympathy in your sweet voice? Can it be possible you feel sorry for me?
Jimmy
Well, I didn't exactly say I was sorry for you. After all, it was very naughty of you to steal our star.
Cinnamon Bear
Don't try and pull any of that weepy, weepy stuff around here, Crazy Quilt. It won't work.
Crazy Quilt
Alas. For 10 centuries, maybe 11, the crazy quilt dragons have flourished with merry a blot on their scutcheon. Oh, to think that I must be the one to bring shame to our illustrious name.
Cinnamon Bear
Oh, they.
Jimmy
There, there, Crazy Quilt. Don't feel so bad about it.
Crazy Quilt
I must redeem myself. There's no three ways about it. I must done.
Cinnamon Bear
Enough already, you overstuffed villain.
Jimmy
That's what I say. You'd better scram before I say boo.
Crazy Quilt
Oh, please, please. You know how that horrid word affects me.
Jimmy
Don't be so impolite, Jimmy. Let's see what Crazy Quill has to say for himself.
Crazy Quilt
Oh, thank you, my lovely one. Now, if you could all overlook my past offenses, I'd gladly help you look for the star.
Cinnamon Bear
Applesauce with raisins in it. Don't let him fool. You children.
Crazy Quilt
I really have a good heart, you know. It's made out of bread, yarn, and it's big and true as true can be. Don't you think you could see your way clear to let me join up with your expedition?
Cinnamon Bear
Huh?
Crazy Quilt
How's about it?
Jimmy
I don't know what to say, crazy quilt.
Cinnamon Bear
Well, I do.
Jimmy
We don't trust you, crazy quilt, and that's that.
Cinnamon Bear
Good for you, Jimmy.
Crazy Quilt
Oh, the shame of it all. Oh, agony.
Jimmy
Listen, what's that noise?
Cinnamon Bear
In one bear, I wonder. Can you see anybody, Jimmy?
Jimmy
No.
Cinnamon Bear
Look.
Crazy Quilt
Coming around that rock.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Wow.
Jimmy
Jiminy Crickets.
Crazy Quilt
It's the inkaboos.
Cinnamon Bear
Run.
Crazy Quilt
Run for your lives, everybody. See you later.
Jimmy
Wow.
Cinnamon Bear
Oh, crazy quilts, jump back into the ocean.
Jimmy
Why, look. Those inkaboos are as flat as can be. They look like paper dolls. Sure, paper dolls made out of blotting paper with faces drawn on them. Aren't they funny?
Cinnamon Bear
I don't know about that. They've got pens for spears. And they certainly are scowling. All right.
Jimmy
Don't be silly. How can we halt when we're not moving?
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Alto. I arrest you, whoever you be, in the name of His Majesty, King Blotto iii. Ow. Wow. Wow.
Jimmy
Arrest us for what? We haven't done anything.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Oh, but you have. Definitely. Prisoners, fall in.
Jimmy
We're not prisoners and we won't fall in.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Better step along lively or get pricked by our spears.
Jimmy
Maybe we better do as they say. Those pens look plenty sharp.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Prisoners, forward.
Cinnamon Bear
Marshal, this is an outrage. We haven't done a thing, and, well, we're not going to march, that's what.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
That's just a sample. Now hurry up.
Jimmy
I sure wish I had my water pistol with me. I'd fix those Inkaboos in our jiffy. I'd soak them up like anything.
Cinnamon Bear
I could fix them, too, if they didn't have those pesky spear pens. Bless my stuffings, but they're sharp.
Jimmy
Look over there. It's a town, sure enough. And the houses are made of cardboard. You know, they're sort of wobbling in the breeze. You know what, Jimmy? It looks just like that toy village we got for Christmas last year. See, the walls and the roofs are held together with cardboard flaps. And the windows don't have any glass at all.
Cinnamon Bear
And the grass we're walking on isn't really grass, it's paper.
Jimmy
Just like that green grass we always have in our Easter bunny nests. Do you kind of suppose that beach we were on was made out of sandpaper?
Cinnamon Bear
That's very funny. I'd laugh the stuffing out of meself if I wasn't so worried about what these inkaboos are going to do with us.
Jimmy
Let's ask them and find out. That's a good idea. Hey, you. Mr. Blotter. What's the matter?
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Prisoner, you have uttered the greatest insult that can be insulted at a mighty incaboo.
Cinnamon Bear
Why, just because he called you a blotter?
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
If you value your skin, you stuffed monstrosity, never say that terrible word again.
Cinnamon Bear
Why, certainly, if it upsets you that much. But we'd sort of like to know what you're going to do with us.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
In a few moments, you shall be ushered into the presence of His Imperial Majesty, Emperor of the Incapus Incorporated, King Blotto iii. Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
Jimmy
And what's King Blotto going to do?
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
His Majesty will hear the accusations and pass judgment on you.
Cinnamon Bear
For what? We haven't hurt anybody.
Jimmy
I should say not.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
That has nothing to do with the case. And King Blotto will punish you accordingly. Now, Marcho. Ow.
King Blotto III
Ow.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Ow.
You are about to enter the royal audience chamber. Bow your heads and keep them there until His Majesty speaks.
Cinnamon Bear
I'm afraid that's impossible for me. You see, my head is fastened on so it can move sideways, but not up and down.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Oh, this will never do. Everyone must show His Majesty the utmost respect.
Cinnamon Bear
I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll just turn me head clean around so it's facing backwards. How is that?
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
A bit irregular, but it'll do. Guard, sound the royal FAL ner. All.
Prisoners, forward marcho. And keep your heads bowed.
Jimmy
Hope I don't stumble.
Cinnamon Bear
Me too. With me head turned backwards, I haven't the slightest idea where I'm going.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Prisoners, halto.
Your most unusually high Highness, we bow in your mighty presence. Hail, King Blotto iii. Ow, wow. Wow.
King Blotto III
More respect, please. You're not half enthusiastic enough.
Cinnamon Bear
Ow, wow.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
And double wow.
King Blotto III
Much better.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
You may raise your heads. Now, prisoners, look.
Jimmy
That's King Blotto sitting on an empty ink bottle. What a funny king.
Cinnamon Bear
Is he?
Jimmy
Isn't he, Cinnamon Bear?
Cinnamon Bear
Wait till I get my head twisted around so I can see.
Jimmy
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Cinnamon Bear
What a science.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Order. Order.
King Blotto III
Who are these things, Captain?
Jimmy
We're not things, we're people.
Cinnamon Bear
And very good people, I might add.
King Blotto III
When we wish you to add, we'll tell you about it. Quiet. Proceed, Captain.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Your Majesty, we found them standing right on the boundary line of the Dominion of the Inca Boos Incorporated. And what's more, they have their shoes on.
King Blotto III
This is an offense, isn't it? By the way, what offense is it?
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
A violation of ordinance number 23 Skidoo, which prohibits foreigners from standing on an inkaboo boundary line with shoes on.
King Blotto III
Oh, yeah, so it does.
Jimmy
Well, how did we know it was against the law? Yeah, we didn't see any boundary line. Where is it?
Cinnamon Bear
That's what I'd like to know.
King Blotto III
Where is it? It's a secret.
Jimmy
Well, you can't very well arrest us for standing on something that we don't know where it is.
King Blotto III
Ignorance of the law is 9/10 of a something. And besides, you should have taken your shoes off. Then we wouldn't have bothered you.
Cinnamon Bear
Ha ha. Then that lets me out. I don't wear any shoes, so I couldn't very well take them off.
King Blotto III
What? Then you're doubly guilty because you didn't have any shoes to take off.
Jimmy
But that's not fair. That or, well, that law doesn't say anything like that.
Cinnamon Bear
Oh my.
King Blotto III
So it doesn't. Well, we'll fix that. Where's my royal secretary?
Narrator
Here, your majesty.
King Blotto III
Take an amendment. Quote, people who don't have shoes to take off when they stand on an inkaboo boundary line are guilty of double treason and arsenic. I, King Blotto iii. So will it unquote.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Oyez. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
Cinnamon Bear
What? What do you intend to do with this now?
King Blotto III
I don't quite know. Something too, too terrible, I fancy. That is, unless you want to try and win your freedom.
Cinnamon Bear
Well, how can we do that?
King Blotto III
I'll tell you. Ever since the Inca boos were created, I have been king because of a mysterious magical inscription I bear on my chest. See it?
Jimmy
Yes, I noticed it before. It's some kind of writing.
King Blotto III
Indeed. Pretty, isn't it? And I'm the only inkaboo that has such an inscription.
Jimmy
Oh. What's it say?
King Blotto III
That, strangers, is exactly what we've never been able to find out. Wise men from all over the realm have tried for years to decipher it, but in vain. We know it's most important. So if you prisoners can tell us what it says, we'll allow you to leave unharmed.
Cinnamon Bear
I know what it is, Judy and Jimmy. It's writing that's been blotted on him from a piece of paper. It's just on backwood, that's all. If I had a looking glass, I could read it off like nothing.
Jimmy
I have a little looking glass cinnamon bear right here in my sweater pocket. Swell. Give it to him so we can get saved. Here it is.
King Blotto III
Well, strangers, will you attempt to save your lives?
Cinnamon Bear
Your majesty, it has been revealed to me that I may make known to you and your subjects the inscriptions on your majesty's person. Have I your permission to perform a bit of magic?
King Blotto III
You have.
Cinnamon Bear
Very well. I approach, your majesty. I hold this magic eye to your chest. Now, looking glass, looking glass shining bright. Read us what's within your sight. Hocus pocus ish kabibble.
Oh, this is good. Come here and look. Judy and Jimmy.
King Blotto III
How dare you laugh at my chest.
Cinnamon Bear
I can't help it. Do you want to know what your mysterious inscription says?
King Blotto III
Certainly. Read on.
Cinnamon Bear
Okay, you asked for it. Here goes. One pound hamburger, half a pound of Limburger cheese, five cents worth of onions.
Jimmy
He must have been blotted on somebody's shopping list.
Cinnamon Bear
I regret to inform your majesty that your magical inscription is just the makings of a Dutch lunch.
Jimmy
Oh, enough. Enough.
King Blotto III
Your insults and laughter at our royal expense shall cost you dearly.
Jimmy
What do you mean?
King Blotto III
Captain, Summon the royal guard. Summon the royal executioner. Executioner, Conduct these insulters outside the gates.
Captain/Inkaboo Guard
Yes, your majesty.
King Blotto III
And have them thrown into the immense ink.
Narrator
Goodness gracious. That sounds bad for our friends, doesn't it? King Blotto III really means business. I'm afraid it's hard to wait until next time to find out what's going to happen to Judy and Jimmy and the cinnamon bear when the royal guard and the royal executioner take them to the immense inkwell.
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Date: December 6, 2025
Episode Theme:
This episode continues the whimsical adventures of Judy, Jimmy, and the Cinnamon Bear as they search for their lost Silver Star. After losing the star yet again, they encounter the mysterious Inkaboos—a community of living blotting-paper dolls—and face comical peril at the hands of King Blotto III.
The episode's focus is an imaginative, childlike journey through a quirky paper world, highlighting the trouble-prone quest for the Silver Star. Themes of forgiveness, ingenuity, and lighthearted justice pervade, as the heroes must unravel a ridiculous law to escape from the peculiar Inkaboos.
“This is a pretty kettle of halibuts, if I do say so myself.” (02:26)
“For 10 centuries, maybe 11, the crazy quilt dragons have flourished with merry a blot on their scutcheon.” (03:05)
“Ignorance of the law is 9/10 of a something.” (09:31) “People who don’t have shoes to take off when they stand on an inkaboo boundary line are guilty of double treason and arsenic.” (10:03)
The episode maintains a playful, pun-filled, and silly tone, blending classic children’s storytelling with droll adult humor. The characters alternate between mock-serious proclamations, witty banter, and surreal logic reminiscent of “Alice in Wonderland.”
Summary for New Listeners:
This episode is a whimsical, lightly satirical romp through a magical paper land, featuring oddball logic, clever reversals, and slapstick peril. The tale ends on a classic cliffhanger, leaving Judy, Jimmy, and the Cinnamon Bear in dire straits—just as listeners of the Golden Age of Radio liked it.
End of summary.