
Command Performance - 44-11-23 (SP) Thanksgiving Special
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Wally Brown
From America, greetings on Thanksgiving Day, 1944.
Lionel Barrymore
This is Lionel Barrymore Men, Your old collection of hash marks. And they've put me here at the head of this Thanksgiving table to dish out the entertainment vittles to you fellas overseas. By way of an appetizer, Percy Faith and the orchestra are offering a medley of tunes as American as a hot dog and a ham sandwich on rye. Music from America, North, East, South. We like to have all the folks around the table for Thanksgiving and we are mighty pleased this particular member timed a trip abroad so she'd be back with us today. Dinah Shaw.
Dinah Shore
How sweet you are how sweet you are how dear your tenderest moan Fain through days of bitter and brave and brill through night when even the star. How sweet Know my heart can glow from just the warmth of our first embrace.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
The world.
Chorus/Ensemble
A lovelier.
Hanley Stafford
By.
Dinah Shore
When I remember how sweet you are. Thanks. And hi there, everybody.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
This is Dinah.
Dinah Shore
And this being Thanksgiving, Wally Brown has turned host and invited us over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner.
Wally Brown
Well, thank heaven. It was beginning to look like Eatless Thursday. Let's go.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Come on.
Dinah Shore
Well, I guess this is the house.
Wally Brown
Well, dinah. Sure.
Dinah Shore
Well, wally brown.
Wally Brown
Oh, gee, Dinah, I'm glad you were.
Lionel Barrymore
Able to make it.
Wally Brown
What did you do, bring your own turkey?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Turkey?
Dinah Shore
Wally, that's Harry Von Zell.
Wally Brown
Just a minute here. I do not look like a turkey. Or do I? Well, not a live one. Well, come on in. Come on in. Make yourselves at home.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Gee, you got a nice place here, Wally.
Dinah Shore
You were lucky to find a house like this with a swimming pool and all.
Wally Brown
Oh, it isn't bad. All except the front walk.
Dinah Shore
What's wrong with the front walk?
Wally Brown
Every time I come home at night, I bump into those gasoline pumps.
Lionel Barrymore
I mean.
Wally Brown
You see, I told you. Dinah, that wasn't the swimming pool we passed. That was the grease pit.
Lionel Barrymore
Come on.
Wally Brown
Here, let me hang your things up.
Hanley Stafford
Oh.
Lionel Barrymore
Oh, brother.
Wally Brown
Look at the moths in that closet.
Dinah Shore
Oh, Harry, where's your holiday spirit? After all, it's Thanksgiving for moths too.
Wally Brown
Sure. What can a moth eat? Just a stuffed cuff and a blue flea. Well, now, look, fellas, can't we talk later? I'm hungry.
Dinah Shore
Harry, where are your manners?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Don't be so impatient.
Wally Brown
Well, I'm not impatient.
Dinah Shore
Then stop chasing that moth.
Wally Brown
Well, let's get started. Dinah, you. You sit over here. And Harry, you sit over in that high chair. Oh, thank.
Hanley Stafford
Wait.
Wally Brown
High chair. Wait a minute. This thing is a trap. I won't be able to get at the food. I think of everything Don't I? Well, how do you like it? Look at that turkey. He was raised strictly on corn.
Hanley Stafford
Yes.
Lionel Barrymore
I said.
Wally Brown
And around here he had plenty to eat, too. Okay, kids, pass your plates. Harry, leave your teeth alone.
Hanley Stafford
No, I do.
Wally Brown
Wrong plates. Hey, hey, butter. Look, he's got butter.
Hanley Stafford
Butter.
Wally Brown
He's got wonderful stuff.
Lionel Barrymore
Harry.
Hanley Stafford
Harry.
Wally Brown
It goes on the bread. You don't spread it all over town. I haven't had. Oh, excuse me. Molly. Molly, please. Just a month. It happens that. That's my elbow you're dunking in the gravy there. Well, anything with meat on it these days. Tell you what I'll do. I'll give you four points for it. I'll take it. All right. That's all right. Okay, kids, what'll you have?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I'll have some white meat.
Wally Brown
There you are, Harry, what part would you like? Well, what's the difference? I know what part I'll get. Oh, well, you know, this is a pretty good dinner, if I have to say so myself. And I guess I'll have to say so myself. This is a pretty good dinner.
Chorus/Ensemble
Ah, Thanksgiving.
Hanley Stafford
Thanksgiving.
Wally Brown
Strange how it all started, isn't it?
Dinah Shore
Tell us a Thanksgiving story, Wally.
Hanley Stafford
Oh, for.
Wally Brown
That's done it. An after dinner storyteller. You probably will do card tricks, too. You talked me into it. Well, it started way back in the. There was a boatload of pilgrims. They left from the. They landed at a. They were poor. They didn't have any. They were on the rocks. There were hundreds of them. They were all trying to. But there wasn't enough room. I mean, how could they all fit into one Plymouth?
Dinah Shore
Wally, who was at the head of this party?
Wally Brown
Oh, this really wasn't a party, Dinah. It was very serious. Everybody worked. There was one fellow who worked like a. His name was John Smith. The one and only John Smith. But he branched out. Well, look at the telephone book now. Boy, that Smith guy, he really got around. He liked to travel. He was a hitchhiker. He took a ride on a. He went as far as he went up to the. He was right in the middle of a. He was lost. But he had a check. Only he couldn't get a cash. The banks were closed. I mean, they always are on Thanksgiving. Ah, that first Thanksgiving. What a crowd. I'll wait.
Hanley Stafford
What a crowd.
Wally Brown
What a crowd. More people. More people were trying to. You couldn't even park your. And in those days, they didn't have any.
Hanley Stafford
I mean, it. Every.
Wally Brown
Everybody came. Even the Indians came. They had a reservation.
Lionel Barrymore
Thank you. Dinah Shore, Wally Brown and Harry Von Zell. And now, gang, here's another neighbor who's dropped in on us for a free drumstick. John, Charles, Thomas.
Wally Brown
The chorus and I would like to sing the beautiful old Dutch traditional hymn of thanksgiving, or you may know it.
Chorus/Ensemble
As we gather together to ask the Lord's blessing. We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing He chastens and hastens his will to make known the wicked oppressing Cease them from distressing Sing praises to his name he forgets not his all. Beside us to guide us Our God with us Joining, ordaining Maintaining his kingdom divine so from the beginning the fight we were winning the Lord was set aside all glory be. We all do it Solely the leader in battle and pray that Austin our defender Will to be Let thy congregation and take regulation thy name be ever praised O Lord, make us free Lord, make.
Hanley Stafford
Us.
Chorus/Ensemble
Free.
Lionel Barrymore
Now, since it's Thanksgiving Day, fellas, let's look in on the typical American home. The time is just after dinner, and we find ourselves in the living room of the Lancelot Higgins household, which boasts that sweet, unforgettable character, Baby Snook.
Dinah Shore
Oh.
Hanley Stafford
What a meal.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Daddy.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, please. I can just about stagger to that couch.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I got a funny feeling in my tummy.
Hanley Stafford
Funny feeling? Yeah. You feel like you didn't get enough to eat?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
No, I feel like I don't want all I got.
Hanley Stafford
Well, just drink some water and forget about it.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I can forget about it.
Hanley Stafford
Why not?
Dinah Shore
Cause I'm hungry.
Hanley Stafford
You just said you had too much to eat. Now you're hungry.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I'm sleepy too.
Hanley Stafford
Well, go to bed, Daddy.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I ain't that sleepy.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, it's Thanksgiving. Let me go through one whole evening without punishing you.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
All right, Daddy. You got my permission.
Hanley Stafford
Oh, this is a night for gratefulness, for benevolence. Look, why don't you run across the street and ask how old Mrs. Hooper is?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I did, Daddy, just like you told me.
Hanley Stafford
What did she say?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
He says it's none of your business how old she is.
Hanley Stafford
Well, then go inside and help Mommy with the dishes.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Why don't you do it?
Hanley Stafford
Because a man's place is not in.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
The kitchen, is it on the couch?
Hanley Stafford
Now, don't be impertinent. Just run along. And stay away from that ice box. If you eat any more turkey, you'll turn into a turkey.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Boy, talk like a turkey.
Hanley Stafford
Yes.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
Hanley Stafford
The child is right. I suppose I should go in and help the little woman with the dishes. But then why should I spoil her? I'm so clumsy on my break one. Thanks.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Daddy.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, is that your voice? Where are you?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Right here.
Hanley Stafford
Where? All I see is a scrawny little turkey.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
That's me.
Lionel Barrymore
You.
Hanley Stafford
Good heaven, Snooks, how did you get to be a turkey?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
He said if I eat any more, I'll turn into one.
Hanley Stafford
Oh, Snooks, you didn't go back for more turkey, did you? Did you?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Didn't I?
Hanley Stafford
And look at me. I'm covered with feathers. Could it be that I'm a turkey, too? Could that be?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Could be.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, this is weird.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Yeah, it's weird.
Hanley Stafford
Lancelot Higgins. A turkey Gone. My bubbling laughter. My flashing smile. What can I say to the neighbors?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I know, Daddy.
Hanley Stafford
What?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
Hanley Stafford
This is no time for jokes. I'm a turkey vignette. I. I don't feel like a turkey.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
How do you feel, Daddy?
Lionel Barrymore
Foul.
Wally Brown
Not bad, eh?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Daddy?
Hanley Stafford
What?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
You may be a turkey, but you ain't change much.
Hanley Stafford
Why, look, Zolis. We're right in the middle of a barnyard. If I didn't know I was wide awake, I'd think I was dreaming.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Daddy, there's a duck with eyeglasses.
Hanley Stafford
Quiet, Snooks. It may be Frank Tours.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
And look at that cute little chicken.
Wally Brown
Chicken, eh? Cute little chicken. Well, greetings, my feathered friends.
Lionel Barrymore
Where is this luscious Leghorn?
Hanley Stafford
Frank. Frank Morgan, Daddy.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Mr. Morgan is a hen.
Lionel Barrymore
Correction.
Wally Brown
I'm Eely Mouse, Little muffin. I happen to be a rooster. N is the female of the species. Bless their little heart.
Hanley Stafford
I'm certainly glad to see you, Frank. We are new in this barnyard.
Wally Brown
Well, I'm just visiting myself. I have a farm of my own, you know.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
That's funny, Daddy. He's a rooster and he has a farm.
Wally Brown
Well, what's funny about it?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Do you crow in the morning to wake yourself up?
Wally Brown
She's such a girl. Of course I have a farm. I'm farmed with cows and chickens and ducks. And I have a prize bull that weighs 10,000 pounds.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
10,000 pounds?
Wally Brown
Why, yes.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Ain't that a terrible lot of bull, Mr. Morgan?
Wally Brown
Everywhere I go, I get the same thing.
Chorus/Ensemble
Well, see you later.
Wally Brown
I have a date with a gorgeous Guernsey at one of the local watering drawers. Elsie's her name. She's a model for Borden.
Chorus/Ensemble
Goodbye, Frank.
Hanley Stafford
Don't get yourself into any hot water.
Wally Brown
Hot water? What have I got to worry about? I'm not a turkey.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, I didn't like that laugh. What made him laugh?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Maybe his feathers tickle.
Lionel Barrymore
No.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, do you know what day this is?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Mm, it's thanksgiving day.
Hanley Stafford
Exactly. Do you know what that means?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Sure. It means we're gonna have turkey for dinner.
Hanley Stafford
No, we're the turkeys. They're going to have us for dinner. Who us? Well, what was that?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
It's a man with a gun. Daddy. It's Mr. Mudge.
Hanley Stafford
Mudge? Yeah.
Wally Brown
Why of all people?
Hanley Stafford
He hates me. He'll wring my neck. Snooks, you've got to protect me.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
I gotta protect you?
Hanley Stafford
Yes. I'm a great big happy set bird. You're just a runt.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Why don't you protect me?
Hanley Stafford
Don't be silly. Who'd want to eat a scrawny, sawed off, tired looking little turkey like you? Listen, he's got a machine gun.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
That ain't a machine gun. Daddy.
Hanley Stafford
What is it?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
It's your knees knocking.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, he's coming this way. Talk to him. I'll hide behind this rock.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
All right, daddy, Leave it to me.
Chorus/Ensemble
Hey, you.
Wally Brown
You haven't seen a turkey around here named lancelot higgins?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Lancelot Higgins?
Chorus/Ensemble
Yes.
Wally Brown
He's that big flannel mouth bag of wind who used to live next door to me.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Never heard of him.
Lionel Barrymore
Don't give me that.
Wally Brown
I know he's around somewhere. You know what I'm gonna do when I catch him?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
You're gonna stuff him, right?
Hanley Stafford
And then you know what I'm gonna do?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Uh huh. Why you want to catch. Get the stuffings out of them. Exactly.
Hanley Stafford
What was that?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
It's somebody's knees knocking.
Lionel Barrymore
Whose knees?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Run or mouth?
Chorus/Ensemble
Uhoh.
Hanley Stafford
Run.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Daddy. He's on to you.
Hanley Stafford
Snooks, stop splashing. Where are we?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
We're in a swimming well.
Hanley Stafford
Look over the side and see what's cooking.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
All right. Daddy.
Hanley Stafford
What?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
We're cooking.
Wally Brown
I knew it.
Hanley Stafford
He's spoiling us alive.
Chorus/Ensemble
You're gonna taste awful good, Higgins much.
Hanley Stafford
You can't do it.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Stock him.
Dinah Shore
Daddy, you can't cook us alive.
Wally Brown
It's murder.
Chorus/Ensemble
Let me out of here. Let me out of here.
Dinah Shore
Let me out. Let me out.
Hanley Stafford
Let me out.
Lionel Barrymore
It's you.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Who'd you think it was?
Hanley Stafford
Oh, you're not a turkey, are you?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
No, I'm snook.
Hanley Stafford
Oh, Snook's my little girl. Oh, you never looked more adorable.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Me?
Hanley Stafford
Yes. Come here and let. Let me kiss you.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Don't you feel well, dad?
Hanley Stafford
Never felt better. Snooks and I just realized we have a lot to be thankful for Here I've been sleeping on the couch while your mother's been doing the dishes. Well, I'm going right in and straighten up the kitchen with her. Tomorrow I'll clean up the woodwork with her. I'll think of something else for Saturday.
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Mommy's already thought of something.
Hanley Stafford
Oh, she has? How do you know?
Lancelot Higgins (Snooks)
Well, she just said she was gonna mop up the floor with you.
Wally Brown
Now I'm really cooked.
Lionel Barrymore
Thank you, Fanny Bryce, Hanley Stafford and Frank Morgan. Now Dinah Shaw and the chorus join to bring us an Irving Berlin song inspired by the American spirit of thanksgiving.
Wally Brown
Thanks for the Yanks thanks for Russia's.
Chorus/Ensemble
Giant guns and for all the other sons of freedom thanks for the Yanks.
Wally Brown
And for China and the Dutch and.
Chorus/Ensemble
For all who's done so much for freedom For Canada, for England, Australia and New Zealand for fighting French and millions more along the South Pacific shore they.
Lionel Barrymore
Will keep their Navy plan a free.
Chorus/Ensemble
Land We've got plenty to be thankful for.
Dinah Shore
I've got plenty to be thankful for I haven't got a great big yacht to sail from shore to shore till I've got plenty to be thankful for I've got plenty to be thankful for no private car no caviar no carpet on my floor Still I've got plenty to be thankful for.
Chorus/Ensemble
For the.
Dinah Shore
Men who bear the title of the United States Mar. And for those men who shout Anchored away.
Chorus/Ensemble
And for each project sail as they hit the derail and will cape on for rolling along.
Dinah Shore
And all the men who fly Spouting their flame Fire commander off with one hell of a roar I'm thankful too.
Chorus/Ensemble
That this is true Nothing about the Army Air Corps. We got plenty to be thankful for.
Dinah Shore
How could anybody ask for more? My needs are small I buy them all Ask for five and ten cents yes, I've got plenty to be thankful for.
Lionel Barrymore
This is Lionel Barrymore, fellas, winding up this Thanksgiving spread with just one or two more words. It's pretty tough for any soldier or sailor to get excited about Thanksgiving Day when he's a few thousand miles away from home and the cranberry sauce. But let's all be thankful anyway that we've got a country to come home to that's rich in its natural bounties and opportunities and rich in its friendship with other nations who have proven themselves strong and helpful in hastening that day when tyranny ends and we celebrate a real Thanksgiving.
Hanley Stafford
Sam.
Wally Brown
This is the armed forces radio service.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Command Performance - Thanksgiving Special
Summary Date: November 18, 2025
This Thanksgiving Special from the classic "Command Performance" series brings together some of the era’s brightest radio stars—including Lionel Barrymore, Dinah Shore, Wally Brown, and Hanley Stafford—for a heartfelt and humorous holiday show. The episode blends music, comedic sketches, and warm messages of gratitude, especially aimed at American servicemen stationed overseas during World War II. With its lively characters and touching moments, the program captures both the spirit of Thanksgiving and the camaraderie of wartime America.
"When I remember how sweet you are..." – Dinah Shore (06:14)
“Everybody came. Even the Indians came. They had a reservation.” – Wally Brown (11:22)
“If you eat any more turkey, you’ll turn into a turkey!” – Hanley Stafford (16:17)
“Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.” – Baby Snooks (16:28)
“Snooks and I just realized we have a lot to be thankful for...” – Hanley Stafford (22:52)
“She just said she was gonna mop up the floor with you.” – Baby Snooks (23:12)
“Still I’ve got plenty to be thankful for...” – Dinah Shore (24:20)
“For all the other sons of freedom...We got plenty to be thankful for.” – Ensemble (25:43)
“It’s pretty tough for any soldier or sailor to get excited about Thanksgiving Day when he’s a few thousand miles away from home and the cranberry sauce. But let’s all be thankful anyway that we’ve got a country to come home to…” – Lionel Barrymore (27:14)
Classic, fast-paced radio wit merges with heartfelt gratitude. The musical numbers and comedy sketches alternate between gentle Americana and zany, family-friendly slapstick, with affectionate ribbing and silly puns that evoke Thanksgiving warmth—even while acknowledging wartime hardships.
If you want a taste of Golden Age radio, family banter, and Thanksgiving cheer—with a dash of sentiment for the troops—this “Command Performance” special is a time capsule of both holiday joy and resilient American spirit. The variety show format, charismatic performers, and topical humor make for a nostalgic, uplifting listen.