
Double Bill 19xx-xx-xx Game for One Player
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Jack
And now, game for one player by Patrick Simpson.
Terry
Mummy. Mummy.
Mummy
Oh, for heaven's sake. That noise.
Terry
Mummy.
Mummy
What is it? Terry?
Terry
He's in the garden again.
Mummy
Now, Terry, please not.
Terry
But Mummy is there.
Mummy
I told you, I'm too busy for games now.
Terry
Your father will be home in a minute, Mummy. He'll want his tea. Just. Just look, Mummy. That's all kids talk. Run along.
Mummy
I'm busy.
Terry
Oh, all right. A child.
Mummy
Too much imagination, that's his trouble. Now, look at the time.
Terry
It's Jack.
Mummy
Not the kettle boiling.
Jack
Hello, dear.
Mummy
Hello, Jack. Had a good day?
Jack
Not too bad. Not too bad at all. What about you?
Terry
Oh, quiet.
Mummy
You know, Mrs. James came round this afternoon. God, she doesn't utter on that woman.
Jack
Oh, it's the best moment of the day, I reckon. Just sitting down in the old armchair when you're at home.
Mummy
Kettle's coming to the. He won't be a minute.
Jack
Where's Terry?
Mummy
He's out in the garden. He's all right. Just playing down the end. But, Jack, you really will have to speak to him sometime.
Jack
Oh, shoes. Oh, that's it. It's too tight there.
Mummy
Slip it around to your chair.
Jack
Too tight around the toes.
Mummy
Newspaper. That's what you want.
Jack
Newspaper.
Terry
Fill them in.
Mummy
Newspaper. I'll do it tonight. That'll stretch them out a bit.
Jack
That's what they need. Stretching. Just around the toes.
Terry
Ah, there.
Mummy
I'll bring you a nice cup of tea. Anything in the paper tonight?
Jack
It's pretty dull. What was that you meant just now?
Mummy
What was what I meant just now?
Jack
Something about having to speak to Terry.
Mummy
There you are. Nice hot cup of tea.
Jack
Ah, yes, that was good. Throats as dry as a bone.
Mummy
One of your favorites tonight. Pork chops.
Jack
Does the job.
Mummy
And I've creamed the carrots the way you like them.
Jack
What do you mean just now about speaking to Terry?
Mummy
Well, it's getting beyond a joke.
Jack
What's getting beyond a joke?
Mummy
This silly game of his.
Jack
Tea's good game.
Mummy
Well, whatever it is he's always going on about, it comes rushing into the house, saying it's in the garden again.
Jack
It.
Mummy
Well, he never says what it is, just it all was harmless enough at first, just a bit of childish fun. But now, no. Well, it's gone beyond a joke, Jack.
Jack
Doesn't he ever say what it is?
Mummy
Never. Doesn't seem able to describe it. Summer. But then there's nothing to describe because there's nothing there. It's just a silly game. You'll have to speak to him, Jack.
Jack
Well, there's no real harm in games.
Mummy
But this is becoming an obsession. It'll have to stop.
Jack
Perhaps there is something there that he sees.
Mummy
Well, that's just it. The first couple of times, just to humor him, I went out into the garden to have a look. There was nothing there.
Jack
What did he have to say then?
Mummy
Just shrugged his shoulders and said it had gone away.
Jack
Just a game, that's all. Just a small boy's game.
Mummy
No, it's gone too far, Jack. It really has. I.
Terry
Just before you came in.
Jack
Just before I came in, what?
Mummy
Well, he rushed indoors and said it was out there again.
Jack
Oh, well, I suppose I better speak to him.
Mummy
I mean, it's so silly, isn't it? He should be too old for sort of tricks like that.
Jack
Yeah. Yeah, I'll speak to him tonight, Jack. Yes. Yes, I'll speak to him tonight.
Mummy
You were late this morning. I didn't know the clock was five minutes slow. Not till I put the radio on. Did you get your train all right?
Jack
Yeah. Just had to run for it, though. Yes, I had to run all right.
Terry
What?
Jack
Yes, just in a minute, dear. In a minute.
Mummy
Is Terry coming now, Mommy.
Terry
Oh, hello, Daddy.
Jack
Hello, son. Now, where's that kiss, eh?
Mummy
Oh, Terry, I wish you'd wipe your shoes when you come in.
Terry
Sorry, Mummy.
Jack
Well, now, what have you been doing with yourself today, young man?
Terry
Oh, what do you want to talk about, Daddy?
Jack
Oh, just have a little chat, that's all. What have you been doing with yourself today, hmm?
Terry
Oh, nothing much.
Jack
Oh, come on, now. No, I remember when I was your age, every day was quite an adventure. Yes, quite an adventure.
Terry
I'd just been playing.
Jack
Russell, what are you looking out the window for?
Terry
He's still there.
Jack
Well, yes. Well, just. Just for a few moments. Come and sit by me.
Terry
Don't you want to see?
Jack
In a minute, son. Let's have a little chat first, shall we?
Terry
I suppose so.
Jack
Yeah, that's right. There. There, you see you. You're still small enough to sit on my lap, aren't you?
Terry
Mrs. James Cameron.
Jack
Oh, so we've had a visitor this afternoon, have we?
Terry
I don't like her.
Jack
Now, now, you mustn't talk about people like that.
Terry
You know, she always kisses me and it's a horrible wet kiss. I don't like it.
Jack
Yes, well, I can understand that.
Terry
Can you?
Jack
Yes, of course I can. I was a small boy like you myself once. And you've been playing, have you?
Terry
Yes.
Jack
In the garden?
Terry
Yes. In the garden?
Jack
Yeah. You like it in the garden?
Terry
Yes.
Jack
What sort of games do you play?
Terry
Oh, just games, that's all.
Jack
Cowboys and Indians? Perhaps.
Terry
Sometimes.
Jack
And I suppose you imagine yourself as a great strapping cowboy, chasing around on a horse, a revolver at the ready.
Terry
And sometimes I'm the Indian and I sneak up and ambush a wagon train.
Jack
Oh, yes, it sounds great fun. But it's just a game, isn't it?
Terry
Yes, that's all.
Jack
Yeah. And you're not really a cowboy or Indian, are you? You just imagine yourself as one.
Terry
Oh, I suppose so.
Jack
It's amazing what you can do with imagination, isn't it?
Terry
Sometimes when I'm in bed, I pretend it's a ship and I'm the captain and I'm sailing our way across the sea.
Jack
Yeah, There you are. Imagination again. But, you know, sometimes imagination can get out of hand. It. It can run away with you.
Terry
Run away with me?
Jack
Yeah. Well, now, let's take an example. This. This business of you keeps saying there's something in the garden, but there is.
Terry
That. That isn't pretending. That's real.
Jack
There, there. That's what I mean by your imagination running away with it.
Terry
It isn't. It, isn't. It. But there really is something there.
Jack
All right, now, supposing you tell me what you think. Think, mind you, that you see in the garden.
Terry
But it. It isn't thinking. Is this really there? If you'd have looked just now.
Jack
Well, if I'd have looked just now.
Terry
You'D have seen it.
Jack
Seen what?
Terry
Seen it in the garden.
Jack
What does it look like? Come on, you say you've seen it. You must know. Is it small or big?
Terry
Big. Tremendously big.
Jack
So it's big. Is it an animal?
Terry
No.
Jack
Well, a bird. A big crow, perhaps. There are quite a few around here, and they look very big to a little boy like me.
Terry
But it isn't a bird.
Jack
It's a person. Then. A man.
Terry
I. I can't explain it. It's just.
Jack
It's what?
Terry
Just the thing in the garden.
Jack
Well, what colour is it?
Terry
Black. Big and black. And then got a mouth.
Jack
Oh, it sounds rather grim. This. This thing of yours.
Terry
It's horrible.
Jack
And you're frightened of it?
Terry
Sometimes.
Jack
And whereabouts in the garden do you see it?
Terry
Right down at the bottom.
Jack
Every day.
Terry
Nearly every day.
Jack
And you've seen it today?
Terry
Yes, it was there just now. I told you, but you wouldn't look.
Jack
All right, let's go and have a look out the window now, shall we?
Terry
Oh, well, if you like.
Jack
Then. If I see it, I'll chase it all around the garden and cut off its tail. With a carving knife.
Terry
I. I don't think it's got a tail.
Jack
No. I can't see anything. It's only the garden. Come and have a look for yourself. Terry.
Terry
It's gone.
Jack
If it was ever there.
Terry
But I tell you it was.
Jack
Now, look, Terry, this has got to stay.
Terry
It was there. It was that.
Jack
It's gone quite, quite far enough. It's a stupid game, and it's beginning to upset your mother.
Terry
It isn't a game.
Jack
Now, Terry. Terry, I've given you a fair warning. I've been very, very patient with you. I've listened to what you had to say, and I've looked for myself. And now it's got to stop. Do you understand, Terry? Now, if I so much as hear one more word about this ridiculous nonsense, then I should have to give you a good idea. Now, it's a long time since I've given you a good idea, isn't it?
Terry
Yes, Daddy.
Jack
Yes. And you don't particularly want another one, do you? No, no. Very well, then. We'll consider that the. That's the end of the matter.
Mummy
Here's another cup of tea for you, Jack.
Jack
Oh, thanks, dear. That's very welcome. Most welcome.
Mummy
Everything all right?
Jack
Oh, yes, yes. Terry and I have been having a little chat. Haven't we, son?
Terry
Yes, Daddy.
Jack
Yes. And I think we've got everything straightened out.
Terry
Can I go and play in the garden again for a little while?
Mummy
Well, I don't know. It's nearly your bedtime.
Terry
Please, Mummy.
Jack
Oh, go and let him. Just for a few minutes.
Mummy
All right, then. Just for a few minutes.
Terry
Thank you, Mummy.
Jack
And, Terry, you remember what I told you?
Terry
Yes, Daddy. I won't forget.
Jack
Hmm. Well, I think that little problem's been ironed out.
Mummy
You talked to him?
Jack
Oh, yes, Yes, I talked to him.
Mummy
About this stupid game?
Jack
Yes, yes. Very patient I was. I explained things to him carefully, and then I listened to his side of the story. It's important that you know I always think you gotta reason with him. Yes, it went off very well.
Mummy
It was getting on my nerves, Jack. It really was.
Jack
Yes, went off very well indeed.
Mummy
Keep coming in like that, talking about something he'd seen in the garden.
Jack
Yes, I think I would have stopped at it all.
Mummy
Well, he had to be spoken to.
Jack
Oh, yes, that's all. I spoke to him patiently.
Mummy
Mind you, it was beyond a joke.
Jack
I don't think you'll have any more worries on that scorp.
Mummy
Well, that's a relief, I can tell you.
Jack
Hello.
Mummy
What's the matter?
Jack
It's beginning to rain.
Terry
Rain?
Jack
Yes, some spots on the window. Look.
Mummy
Oh, he shouldn't have gone out again. And it's late for his bedtime as it is.
Jack
Yeah, well, I'll call him in.
Mummy
No, no, don't you disturb yourself, Jack. I'll call him through the window.
Terry
Terry. Terry.
Jack
It's just rain in the wind. That's all it is, Terry. Oh, you ought to come when he's cold. He really ought.
Mummy
I can't see him, Jack.
Jack
He's hiding somewhere, I expect.
Mummy
He's usually so good when he's cold.
Jack
Must be in the garden somewhere.
Mummy
There aren't many places he can hide.
Jack
I know. We'll go and have a look for him.
Mummy
But he should have come when he was called.
Jack
It's just a new game, that's all. He wants us to find him.
Terry
But it's raining.
Jack
No, no, it stopped now. Come on, dear. Breath of fresh air won't do us any harm.
Mummy
I suppose not.
Jack
Yeah, it's colder than I thought.
Mummy
Oh, it's terribly cold.
Jack
Time of the year.
Mummy
It shouldn't be cold like this or we'll catch his death.
Terry
Terry. Terry.
Jack
Terry. Come along now.
Mummy
I can't see him anywhere.
Jack
Oh, he's hiding. That's what he's doing. You know, I really must get down to seeing these roses at the weekend.
Terry
Terry.
Jack
He's down at the end of the garden. I'll bet. Let's go and see.
Terry
It's so cold.
Mummy
It's uncanny.
Jack
Somehow a. Terry. Terry. Come on now.
Mummy
We really ought to do something about the bottom of the garden.
Jack
Yeah, it's a bit of a wilderness, isn't it? I dig it over. That's what I do. Vegetables. Make it into a vegetable patch.
Terry
Terry. Terry.
Jack
Oh, looks as if Terry's been doing some digging.
Terry
Digging?
Jack
Yeah, these marks in the ground. Been quite busy, hasn't he, Terry? You know.
Mummy
You know what?
Jack
Those marks. Well, for a moment, if you look at them, it. It's as if.
Mummy
It's as if what, Jack?
Jack
Oh, it's just Terry's fun.
Mummy
Oh, what were you going to say?
Jack
Well, if you look at them, you see, it's as if something has been standing there.
Mummy
Standing?
Jack
Something big. I mean, it's just a silly notion. No, really, this. This has gone quite far enough, Terry. I know what. He's probably slipped round into the front garden.
Mummy
That's the only place he can be.
Jack
There's marks. It's hard, you know.
Mummy
He must be in the front garden, Jack.
Jack
Well, go and look, shall we?
Mummy
This is going too far. You'll have to speak to him again.
Jack
I very will. Right, so. Terry.
Terry
Terry. Terry.
Jack
Now, come along, Terry. Come on, the game's over.
Mummy
Terry.
Terry
Terry.
Jack
Terry.
Terry
Terry.
Jack
That was game for one player by Patrick Simpson. Production was by Brian Miller.
Podcast Summary: "Double Bill 19xx-xx-xx Game for One Player"
Podcast Information:
In this episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "Double Bill 19xx-xx-xx Game for One Player," listeners are transported into a domestic setting where the dynamics of a family are explored through a seemingly simple yet profound interaction between a parent and child. Written by Patrick Simpson and produced by Brian Miller, the episode delves into themes of imagination, parental concern, and the blurred lines between reality and fantasy.
The episode opens with Terry repeatedly calling out to his mother, Mummy, about something in the garden. [00:08] Terry's insistence on the presence of an unknown entity becomes a source of irritation for Mummy, who dismisses it as mere imagination. [00:14]
As the day progresses, Jack returns home, engaging in a routine conversation with Mummy about daily occurrences, including a visit from Mrs. James. [00:40] However, the tranquility is soon disrupted when Mummy mentions Terry's ongoing "game," highlighting her frustration. [02:00]
Jack attempts to address the issue by conversing with Terry, trying to discern whether his son's claims are imaginative or based on something tangible. [04:00] Through a series of dialogues, Jack and Terry discuss the nature of Terry's "games," revealing Terry's vivid imagination as he describes a "big and black" figure in the garden. [07:00]
Despite Jack's skepticism and attempts to rationalize Terry's claims, Terry remains adamant that something real exists in the garden. [06:05] Jack's frustration culminates in a stern warning to Terry to cease the "ridiculous nonsense," emphasizing the tension between parental authority and a child's perception. [08:05]
As evening approaches, the plot thickens with the onset of rain, prompting Jack and Mummy to search for Terry. [10:25] They discover evidence of Terry's digging in the garden, further blurring the lines between play and reality. [11:19] The episode concludes ambiguously, leaving listeners pondering the true nature of Terry's "game."
Imagination vs. Reality:
Parental Concern and Frustration:
Communication Barriers:
Ambiguity and Suspense:
"Double Bill 19xx-xx-xx Game for One Player" masterfully captures the essence of classic radio dramas, weaving a story that balances everyday domestic life with hints of the supernatural or imagined. Through the interactions between Jack, Mummy, and Terry, the episode invites listeners to reflect on the power of imagination, the complexities of parenting, and the often fine line between reality and fantasy. The open-ended conclusion leaves the mystery unresolved, staying true to the storytelling traditions of the Golden Age of Radio.
Production Credits: