Duffy's Tavern 1945-04-27 (168) Fish and Fantasy (AFRS)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Duffy's Tavern – "Fish and Fantasy" (AFRS, 1945-04-27)

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: September 22, 2025
Original Air Date: April 27, 1945
Guest Star: John Garfield

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Overview

This episode of Duffy's Tavern features a charming and chaotic night at the legendary radio bar, centering around Archie’s ambitious (if misguided) attempt to launch a repertory theater company. The evening’s highlight is the premiere of Archie's original play, "Fish and Fantasy," starring none other than Hollywood tough guy John Garfield. Competition from the burlesque across the street, hilarious banter among regulars, and rapid-fire wisecracks make for a quintessential episode steeped in Golden Age radio humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Tavern Faces Stiff Competition

• Archie, the manager, worries that Grogan’s Bar across the street is luring away customers with its glamorous burlesque floor show.
• Archie’s solution: start a repertory theater at Duffy’s Tavern, featuring rotating weekly plays.
• Archie’s pitch: “I’ll prove to Mr. Grogan that a floor show can rake it in without having to take it off.” [04:08]

2. Archie’s Play Plans

• Archie announces he’s written an original play for the repertory debut, refusing suggestions of Broadway hits (“It’s a play that I wrote.” [00:54])
• Eddie, the waiter, distributes flyers but only secures lackluster support (the undertaker will put one in every coffin box).

3. Cast of Characters: Flirtation and Aspirations

• Miss Duffy aspires to act in Archie’s production, but her romantic woes with Harold Harkleroad take center stage:
  • “If you were referring to my affair with Harold Harkleroad, it’s all over. It’s finny poof.” [06:42]
• Sir Heathcliff Batterswick volunteers his “talents,” insisting:
  • “Archie... you should snap at this.” [08:45]
  • But his overwrought theatrics are quickly dismissed.

4. The Star Arrives: John Garfield

• Garfield joins, immediately launching into barbed banter with Archie.
• Memorable exchange:
  • Archie (grandiloquent): “May I sincerely eschew you that it is a great umbrage to distincture this place with an actor of your ilk and posterity.” [12:18]
  • Garfield (deadpan): “Holy smoke. This is something I never seen before. What a guy bumping off a language.” [12:37]
• Ms. Duffy swoons over Garfield but only remembers Cary Grant in his big film. [15:03]

5. Rehearsal Antics & Reluctance

• Finnegan, always literal, confronts Garfield with fake gangster bravado: “Take that, you rat.” [16:46]
• Archie pushes Garfield to perform in the new play—much to Garfield’s annoyance and disbelief.

6. The ‘Fish and Fantasy’ Premiere (Play-Within-the-Show)

• The play is set in a Mexican waterfront dive, laden with melodrama, malapropisms, and mock accents.
• Archie is ‘Fingers’ the pianist, Ms. Duffy is Fandango the hostess, and Garfield is Pierre the fisherman.
• Each actor introduces their character with over-the-top flair:
  • Ms. Duffy/Fandango: “I’m beautiful, with lips like ripe red papa granite and raven hair... Men love me madly, they beg for my love.” [22:35]
  • Archie/Fingers: “Once I was a famous concerto, but now I sit here and play the piano for a few paltry peons a week.” [21:25]
  • Garfield/Pierre: “Here I am, a great fisherman. In this bag on my shoulders I have a 200 pounder mackerel, a 50 pounder tuna...” [25:51]

7. Farce and Finale

• The play quickly degenerates into comic confusion—mock romance, mistaken identity, and farcical melodrama.
• Archie/Fingers, dying from a (fake) gunshot wound, has a final faux-philosophical revelation.
• As the curtain falls, Eddie admits the entire audience has left for Grogan’s burlesque show.
• In defeat, Archie learns even Duffy has wandered over to Grogan’s. [29:13]
• Garfield decides to join the crowd, humorously requesting a table at the burlesque as “Pierre the fisherman.”

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Notable Quotes

• Archie (on show business competition):
  • “Wait until my repertory company opens. I’ll prove to Mr. Grogan that a floor show can rake it in without having to take it off.” [04:08]
• Archie vs. John Garfield (on language):
  • Archie: “May I sincerely eschew you that it is a great umbrage...”
    Garfield: “What a guy bumping off a language.” [12:37]
• Ms. Duffy (on breakups):
  • “It’s simply another case of love’s flame dying down and leaving just an ember.” [06:51]
• Garfield (on acting in Archie’s play):
  • “How do I get into these things? I think Warner Brothers must have made me stir crazy.” [19:26]
• Eddie (on Archie’s writing):
  • “It’s a funny thing about Mr. Archie’s play. They look pretty bad at first, but when you get halfway through them, you realize they’re worse than you thought.” [19:04]
• Archie (finale, upon realizing defeat):
  • “Hello, Mrs. Duffy? Put Duffy on the phone. He what? He went over to Grogan's. Call that Duffy.” [29:13]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:54] – Archie reveals his plan: start a repertory company with his own play
• [04:08] – Archie mocks Grogan’s burlesque and promises a classier show
• [06:42] – Ms. Duffy laments her love life
• [12:18] – John Garfield arrives and begins trading witticisms
• [15:03] – Ms. Duffy fangirls over Garfield, but remembers Cary Grant instead
• [17:16] – Finnegan tries to impress Garfield with movie gangster antics
• [21:25] – Archie formally opens the play “Fish and Fantasy”
• [23:03] – Garfield and Ms. Duffy give melodramatic introductions
• [25:51] – Height of mock-melodrama, comic misunderstandings, and gunplay
• [28:49] – The ‘audience’ has left for Grogan’s; play collapses in farce
• [29:13] – Finale: Archie learns Duffy himself abandoned his own tavern

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Memorable Moments

• The whole cast’s affectionate roasting of Archie’s writing and management skills.
• John Garfield maintaining a wry, tough-guy attitude throughout, even as the production falls apart around him.
• The play-within-the-show parodying melodramatic tropes with wild accents, absurd plot twists, and over-the-top emotional declarations.
• The running joke about everyone (including Duffy) deserting the tavern for the rival burlesque.

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Tone & Style

The episode delivers classic radio comedy: quick-witted banter, zany misunderstandings, and affectionate lampooning of both radio drama and show business pretensions. The script overflows with puns, malapropisms, and self-deprecating jokes, all amplified by the cast’s whirlwind chemistry.

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For listeners unfamiliar with Duffy’s Tavern:
This episode is a perfect introduction to its slapstick wit, relatable showbiz frustrations, and the never-ending quest for respectability—always, comically, just out of reach.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

We take you now to Duffy's Tavern. Hello, Duffy's Tavern. Where the elite meet thee. D Archie the manager. Speakin'duffy. Ain't here. Oh, hello, Duffy. Tonight? Well, tell me, who is your favorite movie tough guy? Well, next to William S. Hart. No, no, the guy coming tonight is John Garfield. Yeah, Warner Brothers paroled him for tonight. Well, I got an idea from Duffy. Well, you see, our competitor, Grogan's Bar across the street has been taking away a lot of our business on account of he's got a floor show there with a lot of chorus girls. Well, what have we got to equal 12 dames? Your fat wife, huh? I don't know, Duffy. Somehow or other, 12 dames is more attractive separate than when they're lumped together. Well, anyways, my idea is to start a repertory company. See. Repertory. Where the show changes every week and the cast rotates. No, not like Grogan's Dames. Oh, this. This will be real legitable theater. Well, we ought to do a terrific business. Eddie's been out all day passing out circulars and. Huh. What play are we gonna start off with? Yes. No, not Oklahoma. No, not the vice of the title. No, not Life with Father. It's a play that I wrote. Now look, operator. You mind your own business, Critic. I'll call you back, Duffy. So come in and meet Finnegan, eddie the waiter. Ms. Duffy, sir. Heathcliff Batterswick, Matty Malnick and his orchestra. Our special guest tonight, John Garfield. And Archie himself, Ed Gardner.

[C]

Mr. Archer.

[B]

Wait a minute. You back already, Eddie? What did you do, throw them circulars down the sewer?

[C]

Only the ones we got customers working in.

[B]

Well, did you leave a batch down at Chimalbacher's Bakery?

[C]

Yes, sir. And they promised to put a circular in every box.

[B]

One in every box? That's a nice thing for the bakery to do. Yeah.

[C]

Mr. Cavendish, the undertaker, offered us the same deal.

[D]

That's.

[B]

Well, good old Cavendish. Although I doubt any of his customers would be interested in my play.

[C]

I don't know. That seemed to act just like your usual audience. By the way, did you see that big sign Grogan's Bar put up on?

[B]

What did it say?

[C]

Tonight, new burlesque policy. Opening of new season. Peaches Latour, guest of honor, will throw out the first bump. And boys, the crowd flocking in.

[B]

Well, wait until my repertory company opens. I'll prove to Mr. Grogan that a floor show can rake it in without having to take it off.

[C]

Well, that burlesque is pretty popular.

[B]

Oh, I don't know. As I remember, I found me first burlesque show pretty dull. He ain't changed me opinion after 15 years of steadily watching him. So leave Grogan. Do what he wants. How he runs his business don't interest me.

[E]

Hi, architect. I just been over spying on Grokens like you told me.

[B]

Oh, yeah, huh. Finnegan. Was there much of a crowd over there?

[E]

I couldn't see. There was too many people in the way.

[B]

Well, never mind the crowd. Tell me, how was the show?

[E]

Oh, pretty good, Arch.

[C]

But it didn't have enough variety.

[B]

What do you mean?

[E]

Well, they had five striptease acts. There was five striptease acts and every one of them was a dame.

[B]

Well, that's probably on account of the manpower shortage. How about the costumes? The dame's costumes, was they any good?

[E]

Ah, she was nothing to them. No, I felt so sorry for them poor girls. I was one of them. One of them was so cold, she just stood there in the middle of the floor and shivered all over.

[B]

Well, I think it's a horrib. It's a disgrace. The whole show ought to be pinched.

[E]

Some of the customers were sure trying.

[B]

Well, wait till our repertory company opens. Mr. Grogan is going to discover that the public values quality above nudity. Find out. Find out that we have a better mouse trap right here in Duffy's Tavern.

[F]

Hello, Archie. My sweet.

[B]

My sweet. Why so confectionary, Miss Duffy?

[F]

Oh, nothing. Say, Archie, can you use an actress in your repertory company?

[B]

An actress? Who, me? Let me look at you. Turn around. Uh huh. Now I see your profile. Uh huh. Now walk a few steps. Yeah, I guess in a pinch you could play a dame. Wait. By the way, what's with you today? You want to be an actress. Last week you wanted to get married. What happened to the amour du jour?

[F]

Archie, if you were referring to my affair with Harold Harkleroad, it's all over. It's finny poof.

[B]

Poof, huh?

[F]

Yes, it's simply another case of love's flame dying down and leaving just an ember.

[B]

An ember, huh? You know, with you it seems to be forever ember. What happened? You was crazy about the guy.

[F]

Oh, I don't know. Little personality traits of his got on my nerves.

[B]

Little personality traits, huh?

[F]

Yeah. Somehow I just can't see myself going through life with a man who keeps refusing to marry me.

[B]

Little personality traits. Sure. Well, that ain't unreasonable. But I thought Harold wanted to marry you.

[F]

So did I. And so did Papa. And so did Mama. That don't be Harold. He had to be different.

[B]

Oh, so you're back in circulation again, huh? Maybe. Maybe you're being a little too choosy.

[F]

That's not true. I ask for very little. All I want is a man who'll look up to me and think I'm attractive.

[B]

Well, I'll see if I can find you. Crazy midget. Now look, Ms. Duffy, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get me play ready now. John Garfield will be here soon.

[F]

John Garfield? Is he coming here tonight?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh. Oh, well, I'll see you later.

[B]

She's going to get her play ready. Brother, what a thing.

[C]

Hello, Archie, what's up?

[B]

Oh, hello, sir. Heathcliff. Well, I'm putting on a play tonight.

[C]

A play?

[B]

Hmm.

[C]

As the man said when he saw the three oil gushers. Well, well, well. Archie. May I put my dramatic talent at your disposal?

[B]

Thank you. I'll be glad to dispose of it. In other words, Heathcliff, I cheerfully reject your offer.

[C]

I can't understand you, Archie. As Betty Grable said to her garter, you should snap at this.

[B]

Now look, Heathcliff, there's no part for you tonight. This play of mine is a Mexican play. It takes place in a waterfront dive.

[C]

A Mexican play? By Jove. I could play a native.

[B]

You? A native?

[C]

Yes, with dialect, of course. Thus. Hello, Jose. I say, let's have a blooming tortilla.

[B]

Now, look, Mexicali Rose. The answer is no.

[C]

Very well. If you want to turn down a man who was the greatest Hamlet in history. Alas, poor Yorick I knew him.

[B]

Now, please, Heathcliff, not that. Let him go on. Archie, it's a beautiful speech. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him. You know him too? There are more New Yoricks around here. Playstots will no doubt have a big crowd. What have we got to feed them?

[C]

Well, all we got left is hash.

[B]

Hash? Holy cat.

[C]

Well, not holy cat. There's some beef in it.

[B]

Now, Eddie. That's the kind of stuff that's gonna give Duffy's Tavern a bad name.

[D]

Pardon me.

[B]

Put.

[D]

Is this Duffy's Tavern?

[B]

What does it look like?

[D]

Like Duffy's Tavern.

[B]

That's a nasty thing to say. Hey, wait a minute. It's John Garfield. Welcome, Mr. Garfield. And may I sincerely eschew you that it is a great umbrage to distincture this place with an actor of your ilk and posterity.

[D]

Holy smoke. This is something I never seen before. What a guy bumping off a language.

[B]

Now, wait a second, Garfield. You have already insulted both me and the joint. And you ain't been here for more than 30 seconds.

[D]

What's the record?

[B]

I see this man has a biting tongue. And if he ain't careful, I'm gonna bite it. Now, look, John, leave us have a little more noblesse oblige. After all, this place ain't no ordinary dumps.

[D]

Well, I can see it ain't no ordinary dump.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

It's the first one I've ever seen where the rubbish gets up and walks around.

[B]

John, they're my customers. And incidentally, among them is a lot of guys in your own field.

[D]

Oh, actors.

[B]

No, convicts. We're gonna brandy insults. I can wear a sizzle myself. But what do we wanna fight for? Come on, sit ye down and have a bite to eat. Eat? Here.

[D]

Say, that might be the answer.

[B]

Now, look, look, Garfield, you ain't gonna start that stuff again.

[D]

I'm sorry, Archie.

[B]

Certainly we shouldn't start insulting each other. We should be friends. After all, you and me, it's so much alike.

[D]

Now you're starting it.

[B]

No, I. I mean it, John. You. You got a lot of my qualities, a lot of the things I got. Why? Well, your rugged good looks, your Devon McCair Manor, your sophisticated charm.

[D]

How about my New York accent?

[B]

Well, you gotta remember that I was raised careful. But aside to that, we're like as two bricks and a hut.

[F]

John Garfield. John Garfield.

[D]

Well, what a pretty speech. And who, pray tell, fair lady, are you?

[B]

Suddenly he's so polite. This must be John's other Garfield. Oh, permit me, Mr. Garfield. This is Ms. Duffy.

[D]

Oh, howdy do.

[F]

Likewise, I'm sure. Oh, Mr. Garfield, the thrills you've given me. I haven't got a spine that you haven't tingled. Oh, Mr. Garfield, you're absolutely wonderful.

[D]

Well, this girl makes sense. Go ahead, sugar. Did you see me in Destination Tokyo?

[B]

Great, huh?

[F]

Destination Tokyo. Uh, wasn't Cary Grant in that?

[B]

Cary Grant?

[D]

Well, it's hard to remember every guy in a picture. Anyways, how'd you like me playing a sailor?

[F]

Oh, you were wonderful. I remember how you stood beside Cary Grant in the submarine. Carrie. Looked so big and strong and handsome. Yes, I'll never forget how his beautiful eyelashes quivered when he turned his wonderful profile and he gave you an order. You were wonderful.

[B]

I didn't see the picture myself, but you sound great. Thanks.

[F]

Oh, this is such a thrilled meeting you, Mr. Garfield. It's almost too exciting. The blood just rushes to my head.

[D]

The blood rushes to your head, huh?

[F]

Yes.

[D]

What's the attraction?

[F]

Oh, you're so cute, Archie. Couldn't you just eat him up?

[B]

No, thanks. I just had a big supper. Ms. Duffy, you better get back to the cash register. The loose change needs tightening.

[F]

That'll arch. Well, I'll see you later, Mr. Garfield, in the play.

[B]

Play?

[D]

Archie, what play is she talking about?

[B]

Well, it seems there's a play we're putting on here tonight. Who wrote it? A certain very brilliant and talented young chap.

[D]

You, huh?

[B]

You notice the resemblance? Yes, John. Among the other talents, I also number. The art of drama. Surgery.

[D]

I've heard about your plays. Do you write the way you talk?

[B]

Even better. This latest play is really great. It's Life in a Roar.

[E]

Hi, buddy. You John Garfield?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Take that, you rat.

[B]

Finnegan.

[E]

Watch your mug, please.

[B]

Watch your language, Mr. Garfield. Ain't really a mug.

[E]

I know what I know. I was only kidding. After all, I'm a man of the world.

[B]

Yeah?

[D]

Which one.

[E]

Donna Boy? Johnny Kid. Me back with the no fooling. I'd love to be one of them gangster pitchers shooting off the machine guns.

[B]

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

[E]

Good boy. What fun.

[D]

Not so much fun. Those machine guns are murder. Even if firing them in pictures is enough. Well, it's enough to make you wince.

[E]

Mr. Garfield, I don't know the meaning of the word winch.

[D]

Brave guy, huh?

[E]

Well, I just don't know the meaning of the word.

[B]

Please leave us. Change the conversation to a subject. Now, John, about this play tonight. This circular here explains everything.

[D]

Yeah, Let me see. Tonight, world premiere of Duffy's Repertory Theatre. That's theater not when it's spelled with a Y. Let's see. Tonight's special attraction will be the famous movie actor, Mr. Hey, where did you get the effrontery?

[B]

I copied it off a poster. Yep, this will be a great break for you, John.

[D]

Now look, you, barroom Belasco.

[B]

Just a second. Hello? Hello, Duffy. Well, wait a minute, I'll see. Eddie, how many customers is here?

[C]

Let's see, there's 1, 2, 3. 3.

[B]

Hello, 64. Okay, we'll start the play right away. Here, John. Now here's the play. Look over your part while I round up the rest of the cast. I'll be right back.

[D]

Now wait a minute.

[B]

Now don't worry, you'll be great. I'll be right with you.

[D]

Let's see, a drama of the waterfront entitled Fish and Fantasy.

[B]

That.

[D]

That jerk.

[C]

I got an idea who you mean Mr. Garfield. But don't get upset.

[D]

Well, where does that Archie get his gall?

[C]

Oh, Mr. Archie ain't bad. He got nerve and brass and gall. And yet. Well, the answer is. You gonna act in this play?

[D]

Did you read it, Eddie?

[B]

Uh huh.

[D]

How is it?

[C]

Well, I'll tell you. It's a funny thing about Mr. Archie's play. They look pretty bad at first, but when you get halfway through them, you realize they're worse than you thought. Then if you grit your teeth. Teeth and keep going. When you come to the last line, brother, what a grand and glorious feeling.

[D]

How do I get into these things? I think Warner Brothers must have made me stir crazy.

[B]

Sam. Well, Eddie, how does the crowd look?

[C]

Well, actually there's only two now. Mr. Callahan's just passed out.

[B]

Hello, Duffy. Huh? 123 people. Yeah. Hey, whoop it up a bit like a mob. Finnegan. Hit the register.

[C]

More champagne, lady Minda, what is you doing here?

[E]

Happy New Year.

[B]

You hear that, Tuppy? Great, huh? I told you. Okay, we're starting to play. That's enough, Finnegan.

[E]

Boy, what a business I was doing.

[B]

Well, now you've done enough business, you can retire. Okay, now leave us not to play trumpets, please. Thank you. Finnegan, will you stop it? Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we present Fish and Fantasy, wrote by me esteemed self and starring John Garfield. I seen a shabby waterfront dive in a little town on the coast of Mexico. Here, fishermen come to sit around drinking their fiery cocaquila. And through the place comes the scent of the trade winds, filling the air with the feeling of mystery, passions, murder, evil and the constant smell of fish. What now? Leave us. Meet our characters. I'm the Piano player Fingers, they call me. Once I was a famous concerto, but now I sit here and play the piano for a few paltry peons a week. Yes, I just sit here and play and watch men come and go with their foibles and picadillos and whatever other fish they have caught.

[F]

I am Fandango, the gorgeous hostess. I'm beautiful, with lips like ripe red papa granite and raven hair. And flashing eyes like two black jelly beans. Men love me madly, they beg for my love. But I just smile and say, si, si, senor.

[D]

I am Pierre, a prosperous Mexican fisherman. I love ze girl Fandango. She are the sweetheart of I who love him madly.

[B]

She know.

[D]

Hey, Archie.

[B]

Yeah?

[D]

Display. She stink.

[B]

Stink to this grape.

[F]

Hello.

[B]

Oh, hiya, Fandango.

[F]

Match.

[B]

Catch.

[F]

Missed.

[B]

Butter Fingers. What's the matter? You act nervous, Fandango, what's on your mind?

[F]

I don't know. I'm thinking of America. You know, Fingers, I'm beginning to miss the States.

[B]

Yeah? Funny, with me it's the cities. Ah, well, when you're a guy like me, you learn to philophosize.

[F]

Say, thing is, tell me something.

[B]

Yeah?

[F]

You sit there at the piano all day and all night. What do you think about?

[B]

I often wonder. Yes, Fandango, There's a comfort in fallopacy.

[F]

Where do you come from, Fingers? Who are you?

[B]

Please, Fandango, I'm right. You didn't ask that. It's best to bury sleeping dogs.

[F]

Tell me, Fingers. It'll be our secret.

[B]

Well, sir, once I gave concerts all over the world. Vienna, Bucker, Pest, sitting at me Steinway dressed in me black tie and white tails. Me nickname in them days was Harvey the Rabbit. I remember them places. The places. Ringenwood, Clapter, Paris, Moscow.

[F]

Wait. You are not.

[B]

Yes, I am Laszlo Heltikalovich.

[F]

You were the great Helter Kalovich.

[B]

No, not a but.

[F]

What happened?

[B]

Drink, women, gambling, Monte Carlo to slot machines. Now here I am, a member of the Dragon.

[F]

Was there a girl?

[B]

I'd rather not speak of her. It wasn't meant to be.

[F]

She. She hurt you?

[B]

It wasn't her fault. She was royalty. I have pheasant blood. Yes. Her old man made her marry a Marjorie. Well, that's life. But you got to be a Polarpecy. Well, where are Migos?

[D]

Hasta Miranda. She is I. Pierre.

[B]

Oh, hello, Pierre.

[D]

Ah, Fandango. She's you, huh? Come, kiss me.

[C]

No.

[D]

Montevideo. What's the matter, huh? Here I am, a great fisherman. In this bag on my shoulders I have a 200 pounder mackerel a 50 pounder tuna, 60 flounders. Why you no one to kiss me?

[F]

I don't know. There's something about you.

[D]

Sacramento. So you turning me down? A man who catch you 400 pounds of fish.

[B]

That's a whole of a catch. Fandango, why don't you marry Pierre here?

[F]

I hate him.

[D]

Azusa, you love Fingers, huh? I kill him.

[F]

Look out, dingus, he's got a gun.

[D]

Semper Fidelis, my guy. If she can't have Semple, she nobody else she have him. Stand aback.

[B]

Miss me, but I don't mind. That's philanthropy.

[D]

But this time. This time I catch you.

[B]

Ouch. He got me. Well, Fandango, I guess. I guess this is curtains for Fingers.

[E]

What could you hear?

[F]

Who are you?

[E]

I am the prefix of police. I heard a shot here. Fingers. Who shot you?

[B]

I ain't talking.

[E]

Well, I'll find out who shot you. Let me think.

[B]

Hey, you.

[E]

You with that smoking gun in your hand.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

What are you trying to do, start a fire? Oh, I'm going out to check up. I'll be fine.

[D]

Say. Say, Fingers.

[B]

What?

[D]

Sorry I have to kill you, kid.

[B]

Ome no hard feelings, Pierre. It's just the breaks. You got to be a philophosite.

[F]

Wait. Thing is, before you go, there's something I've got to tell you.

[B]

What?

[F]

I am her daughter.

[B]

You Boyta's daughter? You the daughter of the woman I love?

[F]

Yes. My real name is Mercedes de Monticello Schmollhausen.

[B]

Oh, this is too much. Wait just a second. Leave me. Look at your arms. Here, eat good. Can't. De Monticello Schmoolhausen vaccination. So you are Bertha's daughter?

[F]

Yes.

[B]

The daughter of Berta de Monticello Schmulhausen meets and loves the great concerto Laszlo Haltakalovich in Mexico just as he is dying.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

What a small world. Well, heavens to Betsy. I guess you got to be a philophosier. Well, Eddie, how'd the crowd like it?

[C]

I don't know. They all went over to Grogan's.

[B]

Grogan's, huh?

[D]

What's doing over at Grogan's?

[B]

Oh, they got a crummy burlesque showed at John with a lot of naked dames.

[D]

Oh, I'll see you later.

[B]

Now wait a minute. A guy like John Garfield can't be seen in a place like that.

[D]

I guess you're right. Eddie, run over to Grogan's and reserve a table for Pierre the fisherman.

[B]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to leave Duffy's Tavern for this evening, but let's meet here again at the same time next week. And if you have a half hour next Friday evening. Just a second, Mr. Roy. I. I think I better call Duffy and confess to him that this repertory company of mine was a plop. Hello? Hello, Mrs. Duffy? Put Duffy on the phone. He what? He went over to Grogan's. Call that Duffy.

[D]

This is the Armed Forces Radio Service.

[F]

Sam.

[B]

It.