Fibber McGee And Molly 35-09-23 (0024) Anything to Get out of Scrubbing the Back Porch

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Fibber McGee and Molly 35-09-23 (0024) "Anything to Get out of Scrubbing the Back Porch"

Harold's Old Time Radio – January 12, 2026

Overview

This episode of "Fibber McGee and Molly," originally broadcast on September 23, 1935, brings listeners classic Golden Age radio comedy. The story revolves around Fibber's humorous attempts to avoid scrubbing the back porch, using elaborate distractions like fixing a faulty doorbell and spinning tall tales. Set in their new home at 79 Wistful Vista, Fibber and Molly bicker, banter, and receive a visit from the local librarian, all while lampooning household chores, domestic mishaps, and each other's foibles.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Musical Introductions and Advertisements

• The episode opens with a lively musical performance by Rico Martelli's orchestra, setting a cheerful tone (00:37–01:28).
• Multiple segments feature tongue-in-cheek promotion of Johnson’s Wax and Blow Coat, the sponsoring company, woven deftly into the show’s script.

2. The Doorbell Dilemma

• Storyline: Fibber claims expertise and attempts to fix the front doorbell, roping Molly in as his assistant. Hijinks ensue as he tangles with wires, mousetraps, and boasts of his “Signal Corps” past.
  • Notable Exchange:
    • Fibber: “It’s the insulation that holds electricity into the wire. When the insulation is wore off, the juice leak out!” (04:19)
    • Molly: “You cut the phone wires instead of the doorbell wires?” (08:02)
  • Memorable Moment: Fibber suffers minor injuries, insists on his technical genius, and ultimately causes the phone to go dead—sparking Molly’s exasperation.

3. Musical Interludes

• Lynn Martin’s Song: “I've Got to Have Your House” (08:19–11:31) provides a smooth transition from slapstick to sentimentality, showcasing the variety typical of 1930s radio.

4. Blended Commercial & Comedy Bits

• Fibber interrupts the sponsor’s message with gags, joking about "Johnson's Blow Coat rules" for a boxing match:
  • Fibber (to announcer): “No rubbing, no buffing. Put them on the floor and polish them off like nothing at all.” (12:03)

5. Special Segment – The President’s Address

• Herbert F. Johnson Jr. of S.C. Johnson & Son appears as a guest, describing a scientific expedition to Brazil to secure carnauba wax for their products (12:48–14:19). This rare blend of commercial and educational content adds unexpected gravitas.

6. The Reluctant Chore-Doer

• Back at home, Molly presses Fibber to scrub the back porch, while Fibber offers farfetched excuses and diverts the conversation to sports and world affairs.
  • Molly: “Did you or did you not scrub the back porch?” (17:30)
  • Fibber: “I’m glad you asked me that, Molly. You see the…" (17:34)
• Political Satire: Fibber parodies the complexity of current events, linking them in a mock rationale to his back porch dilemma (18:01–19:07).

7. Visit from Ms. Witherspoon, the Librarian

• Plot Twist: Ms. Witherspoon arrives from the public library, prompting a flurry of comedic mishaps as Fibber scrambles to seat her (broken chairs) and bluffs their credentials as book lovers.
  • Ms. Witherspoon: “I see you haven’t unpacked your books yet. I don’t blame you a bit. Shows your real book lovers when you keep your big booksteps unpacked last…” (21:28)
  • Fibber’s Tall Tale: Fibber spins a fanciful yarn about his uncle’s enormous library, complete with cowhide- and calf-bound books that come “alive” and snuggle up at night (23:02–25:13).

8. Final Musical and Closing Gags

• The episode wraps with another musical performance and a comic song by Fibber: “Double Trouble” (25:35–26:13).
• The usual sponsor messages and friendly reminders for listeners to tune in next week (26:13–29:17).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Slapstick Technical Wisdom:
  • Fibber: “It’s the insulation that holds electricity into the wire. When the insulation is wore off, the juice leak out!” (04:19)
• Classic Marital Ribbing:
  • Molly: “Did you or did you not scrub the back porch?” (17:30)
  • Fibber (deflecting): “I’m glad you asked me that, Molly…” (17:34)
• Political Satire:
  • Fibber: “...on account of the British holding control of the Suez Canal and the location of Gibberal or what it is… I don't know how Czechoslovakia is going to keep out of it.” (18:36–19:07)
• Library Tall Tale:
  • Fibber: “...all them little cast bound books wagging their little fly leaves. And what you suppose they was doing crawling over to join them big cowhides? It was motherhood calling.” (24:30)
  • Ms. Witherspoon (on book storage): “I see you haven’t unpacked your books yet. I don’t blame you a bit. Shows your real book lovers...”(21:28)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Opening and Musical Intro: 00:01–01:28
• Doorbell Repair Comedy: 03:22–08:06
• Musical Interlude (Lynn Martin): 08:19–11:31
• Sponsor Routine & "Blow Coat Rules": 11:31–12:11
• President’s Special Address: 12:48–14:19
• Chores Avoidance & Comic Excuses: 17:04–19:16
• Ms. Witherspoon’s Visit and Library Tall Tale: 19:38–25:13
• Final Song & Closing: 25:35–29:35

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Original Language & Tone

Throughout, the episode revels in silly wordplay, rural idioms, tall tales, and gentle marital teasing, with Fibber’s comically inflated self-confidence bouncing off Molly’s practicality. The tone is light, laced with period-specific references, and full of the kind of bustling energy that defined early American radio comedy.

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This summary covers all the major comedic set pieces and memorable lines, preserving the flavor and chronology of the original broadcast, and is ideal for anyone interested in the wit, warmth, and clever writing of classic "Fibber McGee and Molly."

Transcript

[Announcer]

You are now listening to wls, the voice of prairie farmer, America's oldest farm paper.

[Narrator/Station ID]

Chicago.

[Announcer]

The makers of Johnson's Wax send you another sto session of salubrious incubation and self starting situations with Rico Martelli's orchestra, Lynn Martin, the Johnson Merry Men. And Marion and Jim as those carefree concoctors of contagious comedy. Bibber McGee and Molly. We understand that Martelli and the Merry Men are about melt the microphones with a masterly musical movement. Go on, Martelli.

[Fibber McGee]

Strike me pink.

[Announcer]

Well, it's certainly easy to listen to Marjelli's sparkling music. And it's also easy for you to have floors that sparkle and gleam without one minute's work of rubbing or buffing. Use Johnson's blow coat, the remarkable easy to use floor polish made by the makers of Johnson's Wax.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

Strike me pink if I don't think I'm falling in love Strike me blue if I don't think it's you what.

[Fibber McGee]

The dust does strike me from.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

You're not down from heaven above like me Me if I don't mean it.

[Narrator/Interjections]

To.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

I was just a bit of all my. But now I feel free Only there's no doubt you're going to bring out the siren in me like me, I don't think calling in love like me I don't think it.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Sam.

[Announcer]

Now we'll go out of the somewhere into the here. Or from studio e to Fibber McGee at 79 West Pa Vista. Where our hero has started to fix a refractory doorbell.

[Fibber McGee]

Where's that wire go from here, Molly?

[Molly McGee]

Down the wall and under the fellow stairs, Magee.

[Fibber McGee]

Now come on down and show me.

[Molly McGee]

There it goes, McGee. Up on the lead seat.

[Fibber McGee]

Where?

[Molly McGee]

Up here.

[Fibber McGee]

I don't feel nothing, Magee.

[Molly McGee]

Look out for that mouse trap.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, fine time to tell a feller. What's the idea of putting a mousetrap where a feller can't see it?

[Molly McGee]

Here.

[Fibber McGee]

Take me out of it. Who? Take me out of it.

[Molly McGee]

Well, hold still. I'm sorry, McGee. In the air now.

[Fibber McGee]

Shuck. I cut my finger off. Bad Memphis. Aha.

[Molly McGee]

And what do you hand for?

[Fibber McGee]

Now look. You see that there bear place into the wire. There's your trouble, Molly. That's why she won't ring.

[Molly McGee]

And what's a bare spot in the wire got to do with it? It's touching nothing that I can see.

[Fibber McGee]

That don't make no difference. It's the insulation that holds electricity into the wire. When the insulation is wore off, the juice leak out I'm surprised you didn't know that, Molly. Why, when I was into the Signal Corps over into France repairing telegraph wires to headquarters, they used to call me Wonder Magee, the wire wizard of the World War. Hand me the pliers, Molly.

[Molly McGee]

They're sticking in your belts, McGee.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Oh.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, yes. You see, I'll cut these here wires and tape them up again so they'll be insulated good. You see, all you gotta do is give it a sniper.

[Molly McGee]

What are you doing, for heaven's sake?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, yeah. You see that there flash of blue light, Molly?

[Molly McGee]

Did I see it?

[Fibber McGee]

That means the wire is dead into the negative pole. Gives the pink light when the positive wire is dead. I'll never forget the time.

[Molly McGee]

Oh, Are you hurt, Maggie? Are you hurt?

[Fibber McGee]

So I guess not. Kind of knocks me back onto my heels, is all.

[Molly McGee]

Onto your heels?

[Fibber McGee]

Now just hand me that there tape, Molly, and I'll have her tied up in a jiffy.

[Narrator/Station ID]

Thanks.

[Molly McGee]

You tore off enough tape there to wrap up the Pacific table.

[Fibber McGee]

I know. I was never one of these here electricians to skimp onto my work. Let's see now. Positive, Negative. You see, Molly, you always got to wind the tape from right to left like this here. It's a well known fact that electricity pushed from right to left as it goes on the wire. So you gotta be careful to keep it there. There they are. All fixed. Let's go.

[Molly McGee]

Are you sure it's all right now, McGee?

[Fibber McGee]

Am I? Maybe when I fixes them, they stay fixed. I know more about wires and pliers and tapes than this here, Signore Macaroni.

[Molly McGee]

Well, for once, McGee, you fix something. Congratulations.

[Fibber McGee]

Go on with it. When it comes to electricity, I'm the amper's amper. Where's the doorbell? Is that hip up over the stove there?

[Molly McGee]

It is that.

[Fibber McGee]

You know what I'd like to do, Molly? What's that? I'd like to hitch the doorbell up to the radio so's we could ring the gong on them amateurs ourselves.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Did you get it, Molly?

[Fibber McGee]

I said.

[Molly McGee]

Ah, tain't funny, McGee.

[Fibber McGee]

Okay, now look, Molly. You go out onto the front porch and ring the bell whilst I stand here and see if it rings loud enough, all right?

[Molly McGee]

And then you can get to work and scrub the port with me whilst I darn the shop.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Oh, I had the little bell that.

[Fibber McGee]

Had the bum buzzer.

[Narrator/Interjections]

I threw it away and got me another.

[Fibber McGee]

You ringing it, Molly?

[Molly McGee]

I rung it seven times, McGee. Well, try her again. All right, McGee. Did it ring?

[Fibber McGee]

Well, not very loud, Molly. I gotta do Me some adjustment on it, I guess. You see, the coil is probably fouled with the condenser which makes the hoop superhetadine co equal to the resistance. Hey, Molly, where you going?

[Molly McGee]

I'm going to call the hardware store and ask him to send an electric.

[Fibber McGee]

Oh, shucks, Molly. I can fix it. I tell you, you don't have to call nobody else.

[Molly McGee]

I'm on the phone, McGee.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Let go.

[Molly McGee]

Me mind is made up.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Hello?

[Molly McGee]

Hello, Operator?

[Fibber McGee]

Hello?

[Molly McGee]

Hello, Operator?

[Narrator/Interjections]

Hello? Hello?

[Molly McGee]

Mie? The phone's dead.

[Fibber McGee]

Phone's dead. Why shook. That's funny. I just.

[Molly McGee]

Funny, is it? You cut the phone wires instead of the doorbell wires?

[Narrator/Interjections]

Mie. Where are you going.

[Announcer]

Now? Just to check up on whether you're using the easy gloat way to keep your floors bright and shining. We're sending our little checker upper, Lynn Martin to peek in your wind as she sings I've got to have your house. Lynn Martin.

[Narrator/Interjections]

It's six o'. Clock. My work is done My work is done but my blues have just begun I've got to press your heart to get to my heart and that's what makes me blue Wondering who is sitting with you and doing the things that I used to do I have to close my eyes when they need you. Longing for me Just keep sympathy a message that strength it just has to.

[Fibber McGee]

Be.

[Narrator/Interjections]

I may wander here and there Looking for a thrill Someone else can make me care I think I could run through I stop to press your heart to get to my heart I swear I'll move away but then the next day I wake up and say he may change his mind I guess that I say I'm funny that way I'm a funny worth.

[Announcer]

Thank you, Lynn.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

Thank you.

[Announcer]

And now a word or two about Johnson's blow coat. If your floors are well now, Fibber. Can't I get in one announcement without you? Gibbon?

[Fibber McGee]

Excuse me just to my Harpo.

[Announcer]

But Harlow.

[Fibber McGee]

Yeah, but listen, Harpo, I. Harlow.

[Announcer]

Harpo. Harlow.

[Fibber McGee]

Hey there, control room. What's the matter? There's a Harlow echo out here you better take care of. Listen, son, you know what rules they're going to use tomorrow night in the Lewis bear fight?

[Announcer]

Why, the Marquis of Queensborough, as usual, I suppose.

[Fibber McGee]

Nope. They're using Johnson's blow coat rules tomorrow night instead.

[Announcer]

Oh, blow coat rules?

[Fibber McGee]

Yep. No rubbing, no buffing. Put them on the floor and polish them off like nothing at all.

[Announcer]

Well, we're afraid Fibber has used up all the time for our commercial announcement. So we're going to forget it. And present an unusual feature. It isn't often that the president of a big corporation makes a personal appearance before the microphone on his own radio program. And probably never before has the head of an important company brought you news of so spectacular and unusual an enterprise as that about which you will now hear. We have the honor and pleasure of introducing to you Mr. Herbert F. Johnson Jr. President of S.C. johnson & Son Incorporated, who will tell you briefly of his forthcoming scientific expedition by airplane to the little known regions of northeastern Brazil. Mr.

[Narrator/Station ID]

Johnson. Thank you, Mr. Wilcox. I'm happy to have this opportunity to talk for a minute to so many friends and customers of our company. After a year of careful planning, we expect to leave this country from Miami about 1st of October. The twin motored Sikorsky Amphibian plane for northeastern Brazil. Our trip will consume about two months. It is primarily for the purpose of establishing closer contact with the only source of supply of the principal raw material used in the manufacture of Johnson's wax and Gloco Canauba wax. The tough, long wearing product of the Kanuba palm tree from this arid section of Brazil is used as a basic wax in our products, which many of you have used for years for preserving floors, furniture and automobiles. The personnel of our expedition includes two pilots, our research chemist, our purchasing director, and Dr. Big E. Dahlgreen, curator of botany of the Field Museum here in Chicago. Complete photographic equipment will be carried as well as scientific equipment in the field laboratory. The plane carries a Pan American two way radio set and all the latest safety devices. Gasoline supply bases have been established at five points in Brazil. And before our return we expect to fly about 25,000 miles over regions where very few white men have ever been. We expect that our trip will not only yield important scientific data, but will specifically ensure a future supply of the highest grade canuba wax so that we can continue to manufacture better products for American.

[Fibber McGee]

Housewives. Thank.

[Announcer]

You. Thank you, Mr. Thompson. And I am sure that everybody listening in tonight will join with me in wishing you good luck and happy landing thing. Now Marell and the Johnson merry men tip their top hats to Lynn Martin as they give us take to.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Take. Sam. Heaven I'm in heaven and my heart be so that I can hardly.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

See and I seem to find the.

[Fibber McGee]

Happiness I see when we're all together dancing.

[Announcer]

Secretary. Back to wistful vista now. And we find Molly donning socks while Fibber has apparently given up the doorbell fixing in favor of the afternoon.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Pa. He.

[Molly McGee]

Bird.

[Fibber McGee]

Maggie. Yes, my love? Did you speak to.

[Molly McGee]

Me? I did that. Could I Be interrupting your reading long enough to ask you to describe the back porch like I told.

[Fibber McGee]

You. The back porch? Why, you see, Molly, it kind of looked like.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Rain.

[Fibber McGee]

So. Well, shucks. After all, a.

[Molly McGee]

Fellow. Did you or did you not scrub the back.

[Fibber McGee]

Porch? I'm glad you asked me that, Molly. You see the.

[Announcer]

Back.

[Molly McGee]

No. And is it more important to you, McGee, to sit there and read the paper than to have a clean house to live in? Is it.

[Fibber McGee]

McGee? You.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Betcha. What I.

[Fibber McGee]

Mean? Of course not. Say, who do you think will win the Bear Lewis fight tomorrow night?

[Molly McGee]

Molly? How should I know which one of them is.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Irish? Neither.

[Molly McGee]

One. Well, then what difference does it make now about that back.

[Fibber McGee]

Porch? I know, I know. I just want to finish the paper first, Molly. And, hey, you know what's going to happen over there in Ethiopia? Listen, Molly, it's just like card game. This here Selassie feller's got a spade plush. But the Italians has got.

[Molly McGee]

Advantage. And why have.

[Fibber McGee]

They? On account of the deuces wild.

[Molly McGee]

Molly. You get it.

[Fibber McGee]

Molly? I says the.

[Molly McGee]

Italian. Funny.

[Fibber McGee]

McGee. Okay, but listen, I got this here Ethiopian thing all figured.

[Molly McGee]

Out. Oh, you.

[Fibber McGee]

Have? Yeah. You see, Molly, on account of the British holding control of the Suez Canal and the location of Gibberal or what it is, there ain't any doubt that Spain, being just across the water, will get mad at France because Russia's trying to edge into China. That means, Molly, that Sweden and Norway, which is usually neutral, will have a tough time persuading Greece to let Poland and Austria keep the freedom of the sea. Which, if the Portuguese blockade goes on, Australia and Canada gets up onto their hind legs and there you are, Chuck. I don't know how Czechoslovakia is going to keep out of it.

[Molly McGee]

Myself. Maybe we can ask the peace conference to send ambassador over here to scrub our back force with.

[Fibber McGee]

You. No, chef, Molly. I'll take care of.

[Molly McGee]

That. Go see who's at the.

[Fibber McGee]

Door. M. Who.

[Molly McGee]

Me? Yes.

[Fibber McGee]

You. But put your shoes on. I'm coming as fast I can. Should untied these laces before I took them off there. Which door.

[Molly McGee]

Molly? The front door. Hurry.

[Fibber McGee]

The. Okay, okay, okay. Well, how'd you do.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Ma'?

[Fibber McGee]

Am? What can I do for.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

You? How do you.

[Molly McGee]

Do? Are you Mr.

[Fibber McGee]

McGee? You.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Betcha. Is Mrs. McGee at.

[Fibber McGee]

Home? Yep. Come right in.

[Announcer]

Ma'.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Am. Thank you. I didn't know whether there was anyone here or not. I rang and rang and rang the.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Doorbell. The.

[Fibber McGee]

Doorbell? Do you say you rung the.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Doorbell?

[Fibber McGee]

Yes. We must have. Didn't heard it.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Then. I Heard voices, and I knew there must be someone.

[Fibber McGee]

Here. Sure, we're both here. Well, come right in here, ma', am, and meet Molly. Hey.

[Molly McGee]

Molly. Oh, what is it? If it's another one of them nuisances? How do you.

[Fibber McGee]

Do? This here's Molly. Mrs. McGee.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Ma'.

[Fibber McGee]

Am. Molly, this here is. Now, don't tell me. Let me.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Guess. You'll Never guess. I'm Ms. Witherspoon from the public.

[Molly McGee]

Library. Oh, well, now, isn't that nice? McGee, give the lady a.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Chair.

[Fibber McGee]

Sure. Take anyone.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Ma'?

[Fibber McGee]

Am. No, no, no, not that.

[Narrator/Interjections]

One.

[Fibber McGee]

Huh? No, take one of the others. That one's got a leg buster, that I got to fix when I get time to. Hey, wait. Don't. Don't set on that one either. There's strings busted onto that one you're liable to get stabbed.

[Narrator/Interjections]

In. Of.

[Molly McGee]

Course. You see, ma', am, Ms. Witherspoon, we've just just moved in a week or so ago, and we're not quite settled.

[Fibber McGee]

Yet.

[Molly McGee]

Sure. It's nice of you to come and call so.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Soon. Oh, not at all. I suppose you're both great.

[Fibber McGee]

Readers. Who.

[Narrator/Station ID]

Us?

[Narrator/Interjections]

Shuck.

[Fibber McGee]

Shit. I'll never forget what a time I had reading this here. Less Miserable and Lay Mizrah. Yes, that too. They're both.

[Molly McGee]

Good. Ay, Mike, we'll both be glad when we're just settled down and can drop in your library for some good books. Won't we.

[Fibber McGee]

Magee?

[Narrator/Interjections]

Huh?

[Fibber McGee]

Oh. Oh, oh, you betcha.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Ma'.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Am. I. I see you haven't unpacked your books yet. I don't blame you a bit. Shows your real book lovers when you keep your big booksteps unpacked last so they won't take scuffs and.

[Molly McGee]

Scraps. Oh, my goodness. We wouldn't have anything happen to our books for the world, would we.

[Fibber McGee]

Maggie? Oh, I don't know, Mom. Another one of them is worth the.

[Molly McGee]

Power. Did you say the doorbell is out of order.

[Fibber McGee]

McGee? Oh, oh, yes, yes. Ms. Silverspoon here had to knock.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

On. Yes, weather.

[Fibber McGee]

Spoon. Shucks, ma'. Am, I can hardly wait for winter so's I'll have time to drop into the library and get caught up onto my reading. I hope you got something there besides them sappy love stories where a feller takes six years of his life and three hours of your time to get up enough courage to kiss the gal on page.

[Molly McGee]

314. Ah, Ms. Witherspoon, I can never get enough time for good books. Ah, Longfellow and. And Robinson Crusoe and Shakespeare and.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

All. Did you care for the painting of the.

[Molly McGee]

Shrew? Oh, dear.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

No.

[Molly McGee]

Here. I leave all the wild Animal stories for.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

McGee. And how about.

[Narrator/Interjections]

GBA?

[Fibber McGee]

CBS? Not so love.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Ma'.

[Fibber McGee]

Am. This is.

[Molly McGee]

NBC. Oh, no.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

No. DBS, y', all, you.

[Fibber McGee]

Know. Oh, sure, you betcha, you betcha. She's one of my favorites. I'll never forget the time I was visiting my uncle Mortimer. A great bookworm. Uncle Mort was.

[Molly McGee]

Worm.

[Fibber McGee]

Anyway. What day.

[Molly McGee]

Molly. I remember he was in the book.

[Fibber McGee]

Business. Yep, a.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Bookmaker. How.

[Molly McGee]

Interesting. A.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Bookmaker. You bet, you.

[Fibber McGee]

Bet. And he covered it well, sir. I'll never forget the time Uncle Mort showed me through his library into his country house. You know where the Blink river is in Massachusetts.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Ma'?

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Am? The Blink.

[Fibber McGee]

River?

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Yes. No, don't think.

[Fibber McGee]

Too. It's really. Uncle Mort has him a country home built right on to the banks of it. Homestead on the Blink, he called it. You should have seen his library.

[Molly McGee]

Withy. Withy his wither spoon to.

[Fibber McGee]

You. Oh, yes. Well, sir, Uncle Mort must have had 2 million.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Volumes. My, that was a library. Wasn't it.

[Fibber McGee]

Just. That was just a week's reading for Uncle Mort. Well, sir, of these 2 million books, ma', am, 1 million was bound in the genuine cowhide which he kept on. To the north side of the library then was history and philosophy and physiology and all heavy stuff. On the southern side of the library he kept detective stories and fiction and love stories. Them with smaller books bound in cats. No, in.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Cats.

[Fibber McGee]

Welcher. One night whilst I was sleeping, I was woke up by a terrible commotion downstairs. Welsher. I grabs me a gun, leaps into my slippers and bathrobe and rushes down into the library. For all that their noise was coming from. And you'll never guess the sight that met my.

[Ms. Witherspoon]

Gaze. What was.

[Fibber McGee]

That? Well, sir, I can't hardly believe it myself. Ms. Diller swoon. But there before my eyes, bumping across the floor, was all them little cast bound books wagging their little fly leaves. And what you suppose they was doing crawling over to join them big cowhides? It was motherhood calling. And wasn't no time call before there was a calf skin book snuggled up to each car book. A calf and a cow and a cat and a cow. Just like that cutest sight she ever hoped to see. Now if you'll excuse me, ma', am, I gotta go out and scrub the back.

[Announcer]

Porch. Well, that must have been a circulating library of Fiber's uncle. And seeing that he had difficulties with both his cows and his calves, we'll Ask Martelli and his Johnson Merryman to sympathize with Double.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

Trouble. I got trouble, Double trouble. What a lizard fool. I wanted such a headache I had to be number two if I choose once then I lose one Such a business boom made a good bumper I had to take enough with them I can talk with them I can talk with them I can walk with them I can walk with them Even fun with them Even swoon with them But I can't go on a honeymoon with them that's my trouble Double trouble. I don't know what to do Crazy ethical coops and I do.

[Announcer]

The. Will you do me a favor? I wish you'd just look down at your floors. Do they have a beautiful polish or are they beginning to get dull and shabby? You can make them look like new again in a few minutes time if you use Johnson's Blow Coat. This wonderful new liquid polish works like magic on linoleum or wood floors right before your eyes. It changes unattractive floors to bright shining floors and saves you all the work of rubbing and buffing. Flow coat dries in 20 minutes and shines as it dries without help from you. Once your floors and linoleum are protected with blow coat, they stay clean for weeks at a time. Dirt and dust can't stick to the beautiful gleaming puddles. By the way, your dealer is making a special offer right now. A can of flow coat and a long handled applier at a saving of 1/3 the regular price. Be sure you see on the attractive yellow can the name Johnson's Blow Coat. We want you to be back with us next Sunday evening when we'll again meet these happy householders, fibber and Molly McGee. Remember, next week it's one hour later than usual. For those not living in a daylight savings zone, this is Harlow Wilcox saying hasta la vista at Wistful.

[Narrator/Interjections]

Vista. Good.

[Announcer]

Night. Little McGee and Molly come to you from our Chicago studios. This is a national broadcasting.

[Fibber McGee (singing)]

Company.