GI Journal 037 44-03-31 1st

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio Episode: GI Journal 037 44-03-31 1st Release Date: April 15, 2025

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Introduction

In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "GI Journal 037 44-03-31 1st," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio. Hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio, the show expertly recreates the nostalgic atmosphere of a time when families gathered around the radio to enjoy diverse programming. This episode features a blend of humor, heartfelt contributions from servicemen, musical interludes, and lively interactions among beloved radio personalities.

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Host's Opening

The episode commences with the familiar voices of Jack Carson, Harry Mitchell, and Linda Darnell setting the stage for GI Journal. Jack Carson introduces himself as the editor-in-chief, blending humor with military nostalgia. At [00:23], Carson quips:

"Your editor in chief for this edition, Jack Carson."

Ransom Sherman joins in, adding to the camaraderie by acknowledging the team's contributions and hinting at an impending big story from outside reporter Hugh Herbert.

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Letters and Poems from the Troops

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to reading heartfelt and humorous letters and poems submitted by servicemen. Ransom Sherman introduces this segment at [01:41], highlighting contributions from members like Corporal Carl Ruth Jr. and Sergeant Russell A. Robald.

Mel Blanc, portraying the role of a reader, shares poignant poems:

• Eugene Barnum's Poem ([04:25])

  "Tis sweet to love, but oh, how bitter to love a girl and then not get her."

• Eddie Aretti’s Verse ([04:39])

  "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick."

• Rudy Fair's Reflection ([04:54])

  "Twinkle, twinkle, little star. Caught my pants on some sharp barbed wire..."

Ransom Sherman responds with practical military advice, blending humor and camaraderie:

"The best and safest Way to get over barbed wire is to lay on your back and crawl under as you lift the wire up with your hand." ([05:15])

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Songs and Musical Segments

Musical interludes provide a melodic break from the dialogue. Skin A Inniss from the 360th ASF band is featured, playing a tune for servicemen at APO 928 and APO 729. Additionally, the episode includes humorous songs like "Solid Potato Salad," performed by an unknown singer at [08:26], adding a lighthearted touch to the broadcast.

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Comedy Skits and Character Interactions

The episode is rich with comedic exchanges, particularly between Ransom Sherman, Hugh Herbert, Mel Blanc, and other characters. A notable skit unfolds around [06:00], where Hugh Herbert humorously describes his misadventures as a bomber pilot:

Hugh Herbert: "I'm in the present Gulf district. There's nothing but sand, sand and sand, sand A."

This leads to a playful back-and-forth about flying planes and dealing with unexpected situations, showcasing the characters' rapport and quick wit.

Another memorable interaction occurs at [11:00], where Ransom Sherman introduces a "walking zombie," played by Hugh Herbert, adding surreal humor to the episode:

Hugh Herbert: "I'm overseas with the air force in a plane. We just stopped our bombs."

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Poetic Endeavors and Soldier Contributions

The show's authenticity shines through as soldiers share their creative expressions. Private Johnny Kellerman's verse at [13:11]:

"I scrubbed my GI shoes with soap and brush of wire. I really rubbed and got them white and put them by the fire."

Ransom Sherman responds with camaraderie, encouraging soldiers to continue their creative endeavors.

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Parody Advertisements and Commercials

Ransom Sherman skillfully parodies contemporary advertising with segments like the Cheesy Cheese Company commercial at [17:43]. The humorous pitch, complete with absurd product features and playful dialogue, exemplifies the show's ability to blend satire with wartime necessities.

Ransom Sherman: "Have you got ants in your pants for leader crayons? Then remember the Cheesy Cheese Company's slogan, 'Grow old and wheezy with a cheese that's cheesy.'"

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The Sad Sack Chronicles

A recurring segment features Private Sad Sack, who humorously narrates his misadventures. Beginning at [23:08], Sad Sack shares anecdotes about his attempts to assist his family, navigate school life, and enlist in the Signal Corps. His innocent mistakes and earnest efforts provide a heartfelt and comedic thread throughout the episode.

Private Sad Sack: "I want a pound of pee. A pound of pee. Give me a pound of pee."

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Heartfelt Pin-Up Dedications

The pin-up section, managed by Linda Darnell, offers romantic interludes. Linda reads a touching poem at [15:48], capturing the longing and affection of servicemen:

"A cigarette that bears a lipstick traces an airline ticket to romantic places. And still my heart has wings."

This segment balances the humor and lightheartedness of the show with genuine emotional depth.

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Conclusion

As the episode draws to a close, Ransom Sherman reflects on the show’s content, encouraging continued participation from listeners. Jack Carson bids farewell with an invitation for contributions, maintaining the interactive spirit of GI Journal. The episode wraps up with Sherman reminding listeners of the enduring messages of camaraderie and resilience:

"We have plenty if it is used wisely. Don't waste precious material." ([28:43])

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Notable Quotes

• Jack Carson ([00:23]): "Your editor in chief for this edition, Jack Carson."
• Ransom Sherman ([05:15]): "That'll teach you, Rudy."
• Hugh Herbert ([07:10]): "Did you ever go out with any French girls, chief?"
• Private Johnny Kellerman ([13:33]): "Even I know better than that. Johnny."
• Ransom Sherman ([17:43]): "Have you got ants in your pants for leader crayons?"

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This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio masterfully blends humor, heartfelt stories, and musical interludes, offering listeners a nostalgic and engaging experience reminiscent of the beloved Golden Age of Radio. Whether reliving cherished memories or discovering these classic moments for the first time, this episode serves as a delightful homage to wartime camaraderie and the enduring power of radio entertainment.

Transcript

[Jack Carson]

The GI Journal goes to press.

[Harry Mitchell]

GI Journal.

[Linda Darnell]

It's the GI Journal.

[Jack Carson]

Yes, sir, it's the GI Journal again. Your radio newspaper of the aef the paper that prints all your contributions. Men, do you remember your first experience firing the M1 rifle? The sharp snap snap as you squeeze the trigger. Well, here's a man whose jokes smell just like the powder fumes from those shots. Your editor in chief for this edition, Jack Carson.

[Ransom Sherman]

Hiya, man. Thanks, Harry Mitchell, for that nice buildup on the nomenclature of the M1. I thought for a minute you're going to introduce pistol pack and mama. Sure is nice being back in the old journal again. As usual, this is your five star finalist standing by a your five star reporters. There's lovely Linda Darnell editing your letters to the editor. Ransom Sherman reading your poems. Mel Blanc, our one man crowd, Harry Mitchell, and of course our star outside reporter, Hugh Herbert want to be calling in with a big story right about now. Hello, Woo hoo.

[Hugh Herbert]

This is Woo Herbert. I'm in the present Gulf district. There's nothing but sand, sand and sand, sand A.

[Ransom Sherman]

Are you in the desert hiking?

[Hugh Herbert]

No, I'm in the kitchen cleaning spinach, please. But I'm also getting ready to get supplies for tonight. I'm going to hunt wild boar.

[Ransom Sherman]

Wild boar? Oh, y.

[Hugh Herbert]

Of course, some of them aren't quite as boring as others.

[Ransom Sherman]

Now, turning the proof sheets to the musical column, we find Skin A innis in the 360th ASF band beating out a tune for a lonesome member of the AEF at APO 928. And for corporal partial at APO 729, steal an apple.

[Mel Blanc]

Hold the presses.

[Jack Carson]

Hold the presses.

[Ransom Sherman]

Okay, Ransom Sherman.

[Mel Blanc]

Thank you, Jack Carson.

[Ransom Sherman]

All right, Ransom Sherman.

[Mel Blanc]

Thank you again, Jack Carson.

[Ransom Sherman]

Okay, Ransom Sherman.

[Mel Blanc]

I'll give up. I'll give up. The most excellent poems came in.

[Ransom Sherman]

Well, read them, Ransom Sherman.

[Mel Blanc]

I will, Jack Carson.

[Ransom Sherman]

Our first one. I give up this time.

[Mel Blanc]

Our first one is from Eugene Barnum. Tis sweet to love, but oh, how bitter to love a girl and then not get her.

[Ransom Sherman]

Fro Seed and joke.

[Mel Blanc]

It's from Eddie Aretti aboard a battleship. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick. Forget a hot foot way up there.

[Ransom Sherman]

Anymore, Ransom Sherman.

[Mel Blanc]

One more, Jack Carson. This is from Rudy. This is from Rudy Fair in an infantry unit. Twinkle, twinkle, little star. Caught my pants on some sharp barbed wire where they tore I ain't admitting but what I'm knitting ain't for Britain.

[Ransom Sherman]

That'll teach you, Rudy. The best and safest Way to get over barbed wire is to lay on your back and crawl under as you lift the wire up with your hand. I know because I saw Humphrey Bogart do it in one of his pictures. If you men listening in have any good poems on hand, don't forget to v mail them into GI Journal, Armed Forces Radio, Los Angeles, USA and we'll read them for you. By the way, just want to mention that we got some swell poems in on the sarong print contest. From Corporal Carl Ruth, Jr. Sergeant Russell A. Robald, Jim Beach, John R. Kuhlman, Sergeant August Gable, Jr. Private Walter Farley, Sergeant Rodriguez, PFC Jerry Shapiro, PFC John Patterson, Corporal S.R. sawyer and Sergeants William Howarth and Shom Level. We'll have the winner for you soon. Hello, is this my reporter Hugh Herbert?

[Hugh Herbert]

That's just woo hoo.

[Mel Blanc]

It is?

[Hugh Herbert]

I'm overseas with the air force in a plane. We just stopped our bombs. We dropped one bomb on Fritz's Bar and Grill, another bomb on Schickelmayer Saloon, another bomb on Wilmer Strauss nightclub, Fritz's.

[Ransom Sherman]

Bar and Grill, Schickelmayer Saloon and Willemstrasse nightclub. Why did you pick those particular targets?

[Hugh Herbert]

Oh, this is a dive bomber.

[Ransom Sherman]

Woo hoo. Are you the pilot of that plane?

[Hugh Herbert]

Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't get a license. They flunked me on the pilot test because I took off.

[Ransom Sherman]

What do you mean they flunked you on the pilot's test because you took off?

[Hugh Herbert]

Well, I took off the wings, I took off the wheels, I took off the tail. But I think I'll take over controls now. Here comes the P38.

[Ransom Sherman]

Watch.

[Hugh Herbert]

I'll fly this plane right in between those two tails.

[Ransom Sherman]

Wait a minute. Don't do that. You can't fly between those tails in the P38.

[Hugh Herbert]

Oh, nothing to it. Nothing to it. I' right in between those two tails. I sure started the wagon, didn't I?

[Ransom Sherman]

Come on, just tell me more about the plane trip.

[Hugh Herbert]

Well, we're flying back, chief, and right now we're over France. Yes, yes, we're over France. And what memories France brings back. Did you ever go out with any French girls, chief?

[Ransom Sherman]

Ah, oui, oui. Did you ever go out with any.

[Hugh Herbert]

Oh, woo hoo.

[Ransom Sherman]

So your trip on that bomber's been okay, huh?

[Mel Blanc]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Hugh Herbert]

These airplanes get the chief best of care even while we were way up in the air.

[Ransom Sherman]

Even while you're way up in the air. Yeah.

[Harry Mitchell]

Hey, mister, do you want me to sweep off your plane?

[Ransom Sherman]

What was that?

[Hugh Herbert]

Oh, just some witch on A broomstick.

[Ransom Sherman]

I'd like to take a hitch with that witch.

[Unknown Singer]

But.

[Ransom Sherman]

Don't be silly, Hugh. Everybody knows nowadays that there's no such thing as a witch on a broomstick.

[Mel Blanc]

Oh, that's right.

[Hugh Herbert]

I use vacuum cleaners now. Vacuum cleaners?

[Ransom Sherman]

A witch on a vacuum cleaner?

[Mel Blanc]

Sure.

[Hugh Herbert]

Listen.

[Ransom Sherman]

What happened?

[Hugh Herbert]

I pulled the plug out.

[Ransom Sherman]

Our music section has a heading here that's brand new on our pages. It's for Brad, Zinke, McFlyn, Fayol, Leary and Reardon. At Navy 116, Johnny Hamilton featured. Solid potato salad.

[Hugh Herbert]

Chop it.

[Unknown Singer]

Some folks like their taters fly nice Some prefer french fries But I like mine mixed with mayonnaise Coleslaw on the side Solid potato salad that solid salad Jack Solid potato salad Boy, take my plate, fill it up, bring it right back Salad, potato salad and let's have no cash yeah Solid potato salad Boy, take my plate, fill it up, bring it right back the farmer said to the spud, your skin is looking pallid so I'll dig you later, bud for some salad potato salad Salad potato salad Bad salad salad Jack Salad potato salad Boy, take my plate, fill it up.

[Linda Darnell]

Bring it right sat through the spud.

[Unknown Singer]

Your skin is looking kind of pallid so I'll dig you later for some salad potato salad Salad potato salad that salad salad, Jack Salad potato salad Boy, take my plate and fill it up I like it so much that I won't give up Salad potato salad.

[Ransom Sherman]

And now we turn to your favorite pinup editor, lovely, luscious Linda Darnell.

[Hugh Herbert]

Hello, lush.

[Harry Mitchell]

Hello, mush. Say, Jack, you know, you really look radiant tonight. You're so happy and so gay.

[Ransom Sherman]

Yeah. Linda, it's wonderful. I finally met her.

[Harry Mitchell]

Who?

[Ransom Sherman]

Oh, she's angelic, divine, supreme gold braid Who? My dream girl. Nostalgia crawfish.

[Harry Mitchell]

Nostalgia crawfish. Oh, is that the walking zombie I saw you with last night?

[Ransom Sherman]

Walking zombie? Linda, didn't you get a glimpse of her figure? Why, she's built like a ton of bricks.

[Harry Mitchell]

Yeah, I noticed that some of her plaster was coming off Linda.

[Ransom Sherman]

You should hear her voice. What a voice she's got.

[Harry Mitchell]

Voice?

[Hugh Herbert]

Yeah.

[Ransom Sherman]

You know how some girls speak in a husky, glamorous contralto?

[Unknown Singer]

Yes.

[Ransom Sherman]

Well, she sounds like a Mersey eating goats.

[Harry Mitchell]

Oh, no. Tell me, Jack, what kind of a girl is she? Has she got pretty eyes?

[Ransom Sherman]

No.

[Harry Mitchell]

Pretty legs?

[Ransom Sherman]

No.

[Harry Mitchell]

Pretty lips?

[Ransom Sherman]

No.

[Harry Mitchell]

Well, what has she got?

[Ransom Sherman]

Well, for one thing, she's very gi.

[Harry Mitchell]

Gi. What do you mean?

[Ransom Sherman]

Well, every time I kiss her, she forgets another directive.

[Harry Mitchell]

She sounds like an eager beaver to me. Well, she sure turned your head, Jack. You were acting silly in that nightclub. Honestly.

[Ransom Sherman]

Did you see me when I was dancing around with a lampshade in my head?

[Harry Mitchell]

That's what I mean, Jack dear. I mean, after all, a lampshade on your head. Didn't you feel like a fool?

[Ransom Sherman]

I sure did, Linda. Especially when the head waiter came over and screwed a 30 watt bulb in my mouth. Read on.

[Harry Mitchell]

Well, our first letter here is from a gunner in the United States Navy's armed guard, and he's aboard a merchant ship somewhere. And I quote, our bunch is called the Sitting Duck, the Clay pigeons or the Sea Scouts. Our coat of arms bears the motto sided sub Glub glub. He says, we take a lot of kidding from the rest of the Navy, but we have what is known as good duty and few of us would change it if we could. You see, we seldom get a chance to do anything spectacular. But we've made the Axis attacks on merchant shipping anything but a soft touch.

[Ransom Sherman]

Soft touch? That's a real bit of understatement there. Some of the most vicious and determined attacks made on our shipping by the enemy has been fought off by the armed guard. There wasn't any armored hull under them either. Usually it was a cargo of gasoline and bombs covered by a thin skinned hull.

[Harry Mitchell]

Hey, Jack, look, we've got another very good letter here and this one's in verse from Private Johnny Kellerman.

[Ransom Sherman]

Well, read it, Linda Darnell.

[Harry Mitchell]

Okay, here goes. He says, I scrubbed my GI shoes with soap and brush of wire. I really rubbed and got them white and put them by the fire. They stiffened and cracked as the fire got hot and curled like rusty barges. Supply says they're no good. Now, moral statement of charges.

[Ransom Sherman]

Even I know better than that. Johnny. Let him dry in the sun and then give him a good coat of dubbing.

[Harry Mitchell]

Say, how about you reading this next letter, Jack? It's from a corporal of a coast artillery unit overseas.

[Ransom Sherman]

All right, let me see. Don't sell the coast artillery short. Not only do we have to master the firing and servicing of all weapons from a carbon to a 16 inch gun, but we also have to know infantry and field artillery tactics. Working hand in hand with the Navy, we have to be familiar with the identification of naval craft and signaling manning of searchlight and anti aircraft guns. While many of us are in the limits of the United States, many more are out overseas guarding the beachheads and harbors from enemy attacks and landings. Many times coast artillery task forces are sent to establish beachheads. In fact, when the Marine division made the Initial landing on Guadalcanal in 1942. It was a coast artillery unit that landed with them working both as a field and a coast artillery outfit. Wherever the colors fly, you'll be sure to find the cross cannons and shellboys.

[Harry Mitchell]

Say, that swag act no fooling. Remember, fellows, if any of you would like to tell us about your particular unit, just V mail it to GI Journal, Armed Forces Radio, Los Angeles, USA for a reading.

[Ransom Sherman]

Come in.

[Hugh Herbert]

Keep your distance.

[Ransom Sherman]

Say, stay away, huh? I'm warning you, take it easy around me. I'm not to be fooled with, Bud. Now watch out. Who are you that you're so touchy?

[Mel Blanc]

Oh, just a little old booby trap.

[Ransom Sherman]

Our pin up page tells us that it's bountiful blonde and beautiful Carmen. He's going to tell Jack Broadway, Arthur Flack and Nick, Corporal of the Navy, all about these foolish things. Okay, honey, let's hear the sweet talk.

[Linda Darnell]

A cigarette that bears a lipstick traces an airline ticket to romantic places. And still my heart has wings. These foolish things remind me of you. A tinkling piano in the next apartment. Those stumbling words that told me what my heart meant. A background painted swings. These foolish things remind me of you. You came, you saw, you conquered me. When you did that to me I knew somehow this had to be.

[Ransom Sherman]

The.

[Linda Darnell]

Winds of March that made my heart a dancer. A telephone that rings but who's to answer? Oh, have a ghost of you clean. These foolish things remind me of you.

[Harry Mitchell]

Say, Jack, here's another letter asking us to print up a commercial in GI Journal. Now there's a corporal in North Africa just aching to hear one like he used to hear on the air.

[Ransom Sherman]

Okay, one commercial coming up for the aching corporal just like you hear on the radio. This is the Irrational Broadcasting System. Men, have you been missing something lately? Would you get down on your knees for a nice slice of cheese? Have you got ants in your pants for leader crayons? Then remember the Cheesy Cheese Company's slogan, Grow old and wheezy with a cheese that's cheesy. There are many ways of serving cheesy cheese. You can smear it on bread. You can eat it right from the jar. Or you can just sit around the table throwing handfuls of it at each other. So try Cheesy Cheese. Cheesy cheese is smooth. It feels like satin. It looks like satin. And one taste will convince you it has been satin. Cheesy Cheese has many loyal customers. Let's look in on one of them as he tries to buy some of his favorite cheesy cheese.

[Mel Blanc]

Good afternoon, sir. What can I do for you? Have you got any cheesy cheese here? Nope.

[Hugh Herbert]

Are you sure you ain't got any cheesy cheese?

[Mel Blanc]

Positive. But I tell you, I smell cheesy cheese here. Feed it, stupid. This ain't a grocery store, it's a skunk farm.

[Ransom Sherman]

Yes, sir. Cheesy cheeses have many Satisfied you? I have one lady here whose husband thought that all Swiss cheese was alike. That is, he thought all Swiss cheese was alike until his wife served cheesy Swiss cheese. What happened, madam?

[Harry Mitchell]

Well, I'm telling you, it just opened his eyes.

[Ransom Sherman]

Is that all?

[Harry Mitchell]

No, it froze his nose too.

[Ransom Sherman]

Tell us in your own words your experience with our Swiss cheese, madam.

[Harry Mitchell]

Well, there's not much to tell. I gave my husband Swiss cheese on Monday and I. I fed him some more Swiss cheese on Tuesday and then another slice of Swiss cheese on Wednesday. And on Thursday he ate Swiss cheese again. And just this morning I put another portion of Swiss cheese in front of him.

[Ransom Sherman]

And what did he say?

[Harry Mitchell]

Nothing. He just sat there staring at me with those holes in his.

[Ransom Sherman]

Headlining the stories. Headlining the stories. On the women's page we find skinny telling all the wax waves and spars about night convey whisper it skin like.

[Hugh Herbert]

The beat, beat, beat of a tom.

[Unknown Singer]

Tom from the jungle. Shadows fall like the tick tick tock of a stately clock as it stands against the wall. Like the drip, drip, drip of the raindrops after summer showers through. So a voice within me keeps repeating you, you, you. Night and day, you are the one, Only you beneath the moon and under the sun. Whether near to me or far. It's no matter, darling, where you are. I think of you night and day, day and night. Why is it so that is longing for you follows wherever I go. In the roaring traffic spoon in the silence of my lonely room I think.

[Mel Blanc]

Of you.

[Unknown Singer]

Night and day. They are not under this height of me. There's an all such a hungry yearning burning inside of me. And it's torment won't be through till you let me spend my life making love to you. Day and night, night and day.

[Ransom Sherman]

Skipping a few columns to this next page in the GI Journal, we come to an item that should like to.

[Private Sad Sack]

Get a six month subscript. Put my name on your list. I want this paper. Could I please see today's headlines?

[Ransom Sherman]

Just a minute, young man. I know you're from somewhere, don't I?

[Private Sad Sack]

Oh sure. I'm a loot head captain. Private sad sack.

[Ransom Sherman]

That's right. And I guess you're here with another chapter in the story of your life.

[Private Sad Sack]

Correct. I'm here with another.

[Ransom Sherman]

Episode. What happened to that. What happened to that chap?

[Private Sad Sack]

Oh, well, he was drafted.

[Ransom Sherman]

Okay, okay, let's get started. The next chapter in the life of the sad sack. Mr. And Mrs. Sack were delighted when the sad Sack was born. And when he was a baby just learning to talk, Mr. Sack said to.

[Hugh Herbert]

His little son, say, son, little boy, try to talk.

[Ransom Sherman]

Try to talk, son.

[Hugh Herbert]

Try to talk.

[Ransom Sherman]

The Sad Sack really wants to help his mother around the house. One time he insists on going to the store and doing the shopping for he says to the clerk, I want.

[Private Sad Sack]

A pound of pee. A pound of pee. Give me a pound of pee. I want a dozen of me, a quarter of. Give me something before we all start.

[Ransom Sherman]

But the Sad Sack really has a fine character and a good. One day he sees a big bully beating up a small child. He rushes over and says to the.

[Private Sad Sack]

Bully, why don't you stop there picking on that? Why don't you leave that little bit? You ought to be ashamed, picking on little. Come on, let's beat him up together.

[Ransom Sherman]

But it was in school where the sad Sack showed. At the end of the year, by a unanimous vote, the sad Sack was voted the most likely to be least likely to be most likely. And soon the sad Sack got himself a girlfriend. He took her out on their first date, and at the end of the evening, the girl said, sad Sack, I'd.

[Harry Mitchell]

Like to go home now. Why don't you call a cab? Oh, for goodness sake. How are you gonna stand there stuttering?

[Private Sad Sack]

It's the till the bus comes along.

[Ransom Sherman]

But then the sad fact was drafted. He immediately tries to get into the Signal Corps. And he proudly shows the officer in charge how good he is at decoding messages.

[Mel Blanc]

Well, Sack, what did it say?

[Ransom Sherman]

It said.

[Private Sad Sack]

It. It said that.

[Ransom Sherman]

The line of types on the Sharps and Flats page form an interesting headline that reads king Porter stock. It's an instrumental for a Private Ray Peterson at APO3. Let's just about time to shut the doors on the old G.I. joe.

[Mel Blanc]

Hold everything. Hold everything. A very fine bit of writing was just sent in to our social column by Private Jimmy Juhas. And it's a toast. Here's to happy days. Any darn fool can have a good time at night.

[Ransom Sherman]

Well, man, it's been a lot of fun working the journal and I'll be back soon. In the meantime, remember what GI Joe says. We have plenty if it is used wisely. Don't waste precious material. There's a Jack Carson saying so long.

[Jack Carson]

Now, don't forget, man. If you want to write for such stars as Jack Carson, Kay Kaiser, Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Linda Darnell, Hugh Herbert Rochester or Jerry Colonna. All you have to do is write in any gag that you think will fit him. Or any incident in the life of the sad sack. And believe me, we'll use.

[Ransom Sherman]

This is the Armed Forces Radio Service.