Podcast Summary: Hard Boiled Old Time Radio Private Eyes (1950-02-05) – "Timothy the Seal"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Hard Boiled Old Time Radio Private Eyes 1950-02-05 Timothy The Seal
Date: November 18, 2025
Main Cast: Dick Powell as Richard Diamond; Ed Begley as Lt. Walt Levinson
Theme: A comedic noir caper featuring Richard Diamond, Private Detective, as he's hired to protect a mysterious "Timothy"—who turns out to be a seal—unwittingly caught in a web of murder, diamond smuggling, and underworld intrigue.

Episode Overview

This lively, tongue-in-cheek radio detective story features hard-boiled PI Richard Diamond. He's drawn into one of his most absurd cases when a client, Caspar Wellington, urgently hires him to protect "Timothy"—a friend being targeted for death. Diamond soon learns Timothy is not a person, but a seal, who is at the heart of a murder and diamond-smuggling mystery. The episode blends classic noir with antics, witty banter, a touch of absurdism, and, ultimately, a light-hearted resolution.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

1. The Mysterious Client and the Odd Job ([00:29]–[03:20])

• Lt. Walt Levinson calls Diamond with urgent news: the man Diamond was looking for is dead, fished out of the river ([00:41]).
• Caspar Wellington hires Diamond to protect Timothy, insisting it's vitally important. He refuses to give many details or even Timothy's last name, paying handsomely for Diamond to be a bodyguard ([01:30]–[02:33]).
• Helen, Diamond's girlfriend, finds the situation odd, but Diamond is seduced by the $200 fee ([03:35]).

Notable Quote:
“Supposing I do take the job, where do I meet this Timothy? How will I know him?”
– Richard Diamond ([02:40])

2. Threats, Guns, and a Very Unusual Delivery ([04:03]–[08:27])

• Two thugs break into Diamond's office, looking for Casper Wellington and threatening Diamond to cooperate. Diamond feigns ignorance ([04:05]–[06:09]).
• A large crate is delivered to Diamond's office; when opened, it reveals not a man but a real, live seal: Timothy! ([07:22]–[08:13]).
• The note with Timothy reads: “This is Timothy. If you want him to do something, throw him a fish. – Caspar Wellington” ([09:31]).

Notable Quote:
“Helen, if this is your idea of a joke... I swear it’s a seal. But I know my friends better than that.”
– Richard Diamond ([08:08])

3. Chaos at the Police Station ([09:32]–[13:20])

• Diamond lures Timothy to the precinct with a bag of fish, causing chaos among the police, particularly Sgt. Otis. Levinson is baffled by Diamond's story ([09:59]–[12:32]).
• Otis informs Diamond that Wellington is a known seal raiser and lives by the docks. Simultaneously, a homicide involving Wellington is reported ([12:40]–[13:00]).

4. The Crime Scene, Missing Diamonds & Dead Seals ([13:20]–[18:11])

• At Wellington's riverside house, Diamond and Levinson discover a grisly scene: a batch of dead seals in the backyard and evidence that Wellington is mixed up in something big ([16:14]–[16:39]).
• A leather bag with powder—believed to be diamond dust—is found, and they suspect the seals are part of a diamond-smuggling scheme ([16:44]–[18:11]).
• It’s revealed Wellington worked for a diamond importing firm and ran off with $50,000 in diamonds ([17:21]–[17:29]).

5. Theories and the Big Realization ([18:11]–[19:51])

• Diamond deduces Wellington, fearing for his life, hid the diamonds inside Timothy by feeding them to him and entrusted Diamond as Timothy’s protector so the animal could be shipped out of danger ([18:11]).
• The thugs, realizing the seals may be smuggling the goods, killed the others looking for the loot. Diamond and Levinson move quickly to intercept them before they can smuggle Timothy (and the diamonds) out of town by train ([19:05]–[19:51]).

Notable Quote:
“I think Timothy’s got a stomach full of diamonds.”
– Richard Diamond ([18:21])

6. Grand Central Showdown ([19:52]–[22:19])

• At Grand Central Station, Diamond and Levinson spot the two thugs with a large crate (Timothy disguised as cargo) ([20:25]–[20:29]).
• Using a bag of fish, Levinson provokes Timothy, who makes noise and blows the thugs’ cover. A brawl erupts: Timothy latches onto the gunman’s hand, saving the day ([21:53]–[21:59]).

Notable Moment:
“Timothy grabbed his gun hand and made him drop it. A crazy seal nearly killed me!”
– Lt. Walt Levinson ([21:59])

7. The Heartwarming Finale ([22:19]–end)

• Timothy undergoes surgery to remove the diamonds; Diamond is deeply concerned about the seal’s well-being ([22:49]).
• In a comedic and touching twist, Timothy’s spirits are lifted when Diamond sings to him over the phone ([24:07]–[25:36]).
• The episode closes with light teasing about Diamond’s singing career and camaraderie among the cast.

Memorable Quote:
“I’ll have you know, five minutes after I opened my mouth, every seal in the Biscayne Keys came in and sat ringside.”
– Richard Diamond ([25:49])

Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• “[02:40] Richard Diamond: Supposing I do take the job, where do I meet this Timothy? How will I know him?”
• “[08:08] Richard Diamond: Helen, if this is your idea of a joke... I swear it’s a seal. But I know my friends better than that.”
• “[18:21] Richard Diamond: I think Timothy’s got a stomach full of diamonds.”
• “[21:59] Lt. Walt Levinson: Timothy grabbed his gun hand and made him drop it. A crazy seal nearly killed me!”
• “[25:49] Richard Diamond: I’ll have you know, five minutes after I opened my mouth, every seal in the Biscayne Keys came in and sat ringside.”

Major Timestamps

• 00:29: Start of the case, Wellington’s mysterious job offer.
• 08:01: Discovery of Timothy the seal.
• 13:00: Wellington’s homicide is reported—stakes rise.
• 16:39: Discovery of dead seals and the diamond smuggling scheme.
• 18:21: Diamond figures out the real smuggling plot.
• 21:53: Timothy heroically disrupts the gunman.
• 24:07: Diamond sings “Kathy” to revive Timothy.

Tone & Style

Combining rapid-fire noir dialogue, dry humor, and slapstick, the episode affectionately lampoons the crime genre while delivering an engaging and clever mystery. The cast exchanges witty banter, and the absurd situations (a seal the “client,” a precinct in chaos because of an animal, a comedic sting operation in Grand Central) are played with straight-faced sincerity.

Conclusion

“Timothy the Seal” is a perfect example of the playful, character-driven storytelling of Golden Age radio. It puts a whimsical twist on the tough-guy detective formula—trading a hardboiled client for a honking, heroic seal and genuinely balancing suspense, comedy, and heart.

You’ll especially enjoy this one if you like classic detective yarns with a strong streak of silliness and a happy ending—where even the toughest PI gets sentimental about a seal.