Hard Boiled Old Time Radio Private Eyes 1950-02-05 Timothy The Seal

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Hard Boiled Old Time Radio Private Eyes (1950-02-05) – "Timothy the Seal"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Hard Boiled Old Time Radio Private Eyes 1950-02-05 Timothy The Seal
Date: November 18, 2025
Main Cast: Dick Powell as Richard Diamond; Ed Begley as Lt. Walt Levinson
Theme: A comedic noir caper featuring Richard Diamond, Private Detective, as he's hired to protect a mysterious "Timothy"—who turns out to be a seal—unwittingly caught in a web of murder, diamond smuggling, and underworld intrigue.

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Episode Overview

This lively, tongue-in-cheek radio detective story features hard-boiled PI Richard Diamond. He's drawn into one of his most absurd cases when a client, Caspar Wellington, urgently hires him to protect "Timothy"—a friend being targeted for death. Diamond soon learns Timothy is not a person, but a seal, who is at the heart of a murder and diamond-smuggling mystery. The episode blends classic noir with antics, witty banter, a touch of absurdism, and, ultimately, a light-hearted resolution.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

1. The Mysterious Client and the Odd Job ([00:29]–[03:20])

• Lt. Walt Levinson calls Diamond with urgent news: the man Diamond was looking for is dead, fished out of the river ([00:41]).
• Caspar Wellington hires Diamond to protect Timothy, insisting it's vitally important. He refuses to give many details or even Timothy's last name, paying handsomely for Diamond to be a bodyguard ([01:30]–[02:33]).
• Helen, Diamond's girlfriend, finds the situation odd, but Diamond is seduced by the $200 fee ([03:35]).

Notable Quote:
“Supposing I do take the job, where do I meet this Timothy? How will I know him?”
– Richard Diamond ([02:40])

2. Threats, Guns, and a Very Unusual Delivery ([04:03]–[08:27])

• Two thugs break into Diamond's office, looking for Casper Wellington and threatening Diamond to cooperate. Diamond feigns ignorance ([04:05]–[06:09]).
• A large crate is delivered to Diamond's office; when opened, it reveals not a man but a real, live seal: Timothy! ([07:22]–[08:13]).
• The note with Timothy reads: “This is Timothy. If you want him to do something, throw him a fish. – Caspar Wellington” ([09:31]).

Notable Quote:
“Helen, if this is your idea of a joke... I swear it’s a seal. But I know my friends better than that.”
– Richard Diamond ([08:08])

3. Chaos at the Police Station ([09:32]–[13:20])

• Diamond lures Timothy to the precinct with a bag of fish, causing chaos among the police, particularly Sgt. Otis. Levinson is baffled by Diamond's story ([09:59]–[12:32]).
• Otis informs Diamond that Wellington is a known seal raiser and lives by the docks. Simultaneously, a homicide involving Wellington is reported ([12:40]–[13:00]).

4. The Crime Scene, Missing Diamonds & Dead Seals ([13:20]–[18:11])

• At Wellington's riverside house, Diamond and Levinson discover a grisly scene: a batch of dead seals in the backyard and evidence that Wellington is mixed up in something big ([16:14]–[16:39]).
• A leather bag with powder—believed to be diamond dust—is found, and they suspect the seals are part of a diamond-smuggling scheme ([16:44]–[18:11]).
• It’s revealed Wellington worked for a diamond importing firm and ran off with $50,000 in diamonds ([17:21]–[17:29]).

5. Theories and the Big Realization ([18:11]–[19:51])

• Diamond deduces Wellington, fearing for his life, hid the diamonds inside Timothy by feeding them to him and entrusted Diamond as Timothy’s protector so the animal could be shipped out of danger ([18:11]).
• The thugs, realizing the seals may be smuggling the goods, killed the others looking for the loot. Diamond and Levinson move quickly to intercept them before they can smuggle Timothy (and the diamonds) out of town by train ([19:05]–[19:51]).

Notable Quote:
“I think Timothy’s got a stomach full of diamonds.”
– Richard Diamond ([18:21])

6. Grand Central Showdown ([19:52]–[22:19])

• At Grand Central Station, Diamond and Levinson spot the two thugs with a large crate (Timothy disguised as cargo) ([20:25]–[20:29]).
• Using a bag of fish, Levinson provokes Timothy, who makes noise and blows the thugs’ cover. A brawl erupts: Timothy latches onto the gunman’s hand, saving the day ([21:53]–[21:59]).

Notable Moment:
“Timothy grabbed his gun hand and made him drop it. A crazy seal nearly killed me!”
– Lt. Walt Levinson ([21:59])

7. The Heartwarming Finale ([22:19]–end)

• Timothy undergoes surgery to remove the diamonds; Diamond is deeply concerned about the seal’s well-being ([22:49]).
• In a comedic and touching twist, Timothy’s spirits are lifted when Diamond sings to him over the phone ([24:07]–[25:36]).
• The episode closes with light teasing about Diamond’s singing career and camaraderie among the cast.

Memorable Quote:
“I’ll have you know, five minutes after I opened my mouth, every seal in the Biscayne Keys came in and sat ringside.”
– Richard Diamond ([25:49])

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• “[02:40] Richard Diamond: Supposing I do take the job, where do I meet this Timothy? How will I know him?”
• “[08:08] Richard Diamond: Helen, if this is your idea of a joke... I swear it’s a seal. But I know my friends better than that.”
• “[18:21] Richard Diamond: I think Timothy’s got a stomach full of diamonds.”
• “[21:59] Lt. Walt Levinson: Timothy grabbed his gun hand and made him drop it. A crazy seal nearly killed me!”
• “[25:49] Richard Diamond: I’ll have you know, five minutes after I opened my mouth, every seal in the Biscayne Keys came in and sat ringside.”

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Major Timestamps

• 00:29: Start of the case, Wellington’s mysterious job offer.
• 08:01: Discovery of Timothy the seal.
• 13:00: Wellington’s homicide is reported—stakes rise.
• 16:39: Discovery of dead seals and the diamond smuggling scheme.
• 18:21: Diamond figures out the real smuggling plot.
• 21:53: Timothy heroically disrupts the gunman.
• 24:07: Diamond sings “Kathy” to revive Timothy.

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Tone & Style

Combining rapid-fire noir dialogue, dry humor, and slapstick, the episode affectionately lampoons the crime genre while delivering an engaging and clever mystery. The cast exchanges witty banter, and the absurd situations (a seal the “client,” a precinct in chaos because of an animal, a comedic sting operation in Grand Central) are played with straight-faced sincerity.

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Conclusion

“Timothy the Seal” is a perfect example of the playful, character-driven storytelling of Golden Age radio. It puts a whimsical twist on the tough-guy detective formula—trading a hardboiled client for a honking, heroic seal and genuinely balancing suspense, comedy, and heart.

You’ll especially enjoy this one if you like classic detective yarns with a strong streak of silliness and a happy ending—where even the toughest PI gets sentimental about a seal.

Transcript

[Narrator/Eddie King]

National broadcasting company presents dick powell as richard diamond, private detective.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Diamond, this is Walt. Where the devil are you?

[Richard Diamond]

Where I started out to be, down on river street looking for the guy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Be right there and wait for me. But you might as well stop looking.

[Richard Diamond]

Why stop looking?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Take my word for it, he's not there.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, if you're so smart, where is he?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

The city morgue. We fished him out of the river 10 minutes ago.

[Narrator/Eddie King]

Here's another exciting case from the files of Richard Diamond, Private detective, starring Dick Powell.

[Richard Diamond]

Diamond Detective Agency. First over the bars.

[Helen]

That's nice.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, hello, Helen baby.

[Gangster/Thug]

Busy?

[Richard Diamond]

No.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Why?

[Richard Diamond]

I'm lonesome.

[Helen]

Can't you come over?

[Richard Diamond]

Honey, I'd love to, but you can never tell when.

[Casper Wellington]

Mr. Diamond.

[Helen]

Oh.

[Richard Diamond]

See what I mean?

[Helen]

Or customer.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, let's see. What can I do for you?

[Casper Wellington]

I want to hire you.

[Richard Diamond]

Helen, the man wants to hire me.

[Helen]

I'll call you. Prattle.

[Richard Diamond]

Bye bye now.

[Casper Wellington]

Mr. Wellington, Mr. Diamond. Casper Wellington.

[Helen]

Oh.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, pull up a couch and tell me the details, Mr. Wellington.

[Casper Wellington]

I need a bodyguard, Mr. Diamond.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Why?

[Casper Wellington]

Oh, it's not for myself. It's for Timothy.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, why does Timothy need a bodyguard?

[Casper Wellington]

Someone's trying to kill him.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, you've been to the police?

[Casper Wellington]

Oh, yes, yes, but they feel it's not quite important enough for them.

[Richard Diamond]

You mean this Timothy's life is in danger and the police won't handle him?

[Helen]

Yes.

[Casper Wellington]

Isn't it ridiculous?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I don't know.

[Richard Diamond]

Has anybody tried to kill Timothy before?

[Casper Wellington]

Well, no one has exactly tried to kill him, but I very definitely expect an attempt.

[Richard Diamond]

Now, look, this Timothy, is he a friend of yours?

[Casper Wellington]

Oh, yes, a very good friend.

[Richard Diamond]

So what makes you think that someone is going to try to kill him?

[Casper Wellington]

Mr. Diamond, I came here to hire you to protect Timothy. I'm perfectly willing to pay you your fee, but for the moment, the rest of your questions must.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, my fee is $100 a day in expenses, Mr. Wellington. Still perfectly willing to pay it.

[Casper Wellington]

Here's the cash. And there'll be another hundred if you protect Timothy long enough for me to get him on a train tomorrow.

[Richard Diamond]

Where's he going?

[Casper Wellington]

Out of town, where he could be safe.

[Richard Diamond]

What's Timothy's last name?

[Casper Wellington]

That will also have to go unanswered.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, well, now, wait a minute. Supposing I do take the job, where do I meet this Timothy? How will I know him?

[Casper Wellington]

If you take the job, you. He'll be in your office in a matter of minutes.

[Richard Diamond]

Something sure doesn't ring up right. But the 200 fish and expenses I play Footsies with a cobra.

[Helen]

Good.

[Casper Wellington]

Now, I'm going down to the train station to pick up Timothy's ticket. When he arrives, I expect you to.

[Richard Diamond]

Remain with him constantly until tomorrow. I got a small apartment. I hate the bundle.

[Casper Wellington]

Don't let him out of your sight for a moment. I want him alive and well when he gets on that train in the morning.

[Richard Diamond]

Does he play Pachisi?

[Casper Wellington]

Well, I doubt it, but you never can tell. He might like it.

[Richard Diamond]

Dandy.

[Casper Wellington]

Have him at Grand Central at 8 o'.

[Richard Diamond]

Clock.

[Casper Wellington]

I'll meet you.

[Richard Diamond]

Do you know of any way I could possibly learn to hate money?

[Casper Wellington]

If I did, I would never have come to you. Good day, Mrs. Island.

[Richard Diamond]

Atlantic bone and fertilizer.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, that's a pet.

[Richard Diamond]

Just wondering how a new business would work out.

[Helen]

Now, what's wrong?

[Richard Diamond]

I have a very unhealthy feeling that I've just let myself in for something I won't like.

[Helen]

Oh, the client?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, kind of. I got a guard, a friend of his.

[Helen]

What's the matter with that?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, I'm not going all through that again. The client just came on like secret service. I got the name of the guy he wants guided and I know that someone's going to try and kill him. And that's it.

[Helen]

Rick, you be careful.

[Richard Diamond]

Honey. Honey, the client shoved 200 bucks in my rural hot hand. Oh, good. What do you want me to do? I'm trying for capitalist this year.

[Helen]

Didn't your client go to the police first?

[Richard Diamond]

Sure, he went to the police with.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, you.

[Richard Diamond]

Me what?

[Gangster/Thug]

Yeah, you.

[Helen]

Rick. Are you listening?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, I'm listening.

[Gangster/Thug]

Down the phone, friend. We want to talk to you.

[Helen]

Well, if you're listening, why don't you answer my question? If your client went to the police, that's better.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, now I'm a sport. Especially when someone's got a gun pointed at me.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh, the gun ain't gonna hurt you, chum, if you answer a couple of questions. Where's Casper Wellington?

[Richard Diamond]

Who?

[Gangster/Thug]

You're gonna be difficult.

[Richard Diamond]

Look, you got a gun on me. Who wants to be difficult?

[Gangster/Thug]

You don't know Caspar Wellington, friend.

[Richard Diamond]

Never heard of him.

[Gangster/Thug]

We seen him come into the building?

[Richard Diamond]

No. So you figured he came to see me. It's such a small building, only about 100 offices.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh, that's pretty funny. Glad you liked it. No, but we didn't. You're the only private detective in the building. We figured maybe Casper wanted to hire you.

[Richard Diamond]

What would he want to hire me for? What did this guy do?

[Gangster/Thug]

How do you like that, George? Now he's a nosy comedy.

[Richard Diamond]

Dorato gets away with it.

[Gangster/Thug]

Friend, I have just decided. Your humor bores me. It's pretty bad, ain't it? Tony supposedly push his face around, huh? Maybe don't feel like no more jokes.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, now, wait a minute. I don't know anything about this Casper or whatever his name is. What good's it gonna do to work me over?

[Gangster/Thug]

Well, now, you see, honey, you may got real nasty dispositions. We've been crossed. And then you make with the jokes. We don't like being the only ones unhappy. So we think maybe you ought to join. Hold on a second.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What's lawyers?

[Richard Diamond]

A setup?

[Gangster/Thug]

No way. We mess him up, the law comes. We got a fine cast. But we ain't got no time to play patty cake with the cops. I just want across the mouth.

[Richard Diamond]

Forget it.

[Gangster/Thug]

Look, friend, you sure Caspar Wellington didn't come in here?

[Richard Diamond]

I couldn't be more positive.

[Gangster/Thug]

Okay. Get down a ride, George. That don't look so unhappy. Maybe the shamus is lying. We catch him telling a fib. Just think of the fun you can have later on, huh?

[Richard Diamond]

Do what?

[Gangster/Thug]

We'll leave him.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Gangster/Thug]

So long, friend. And for your sake, I hope you've been leveling.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Gangster/Thug]

See you around.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah. Bye.

[Helen]

Now, you listen to me, Richard Diamond. The next time you hang up on me, I'll never speak to you again. But you better have a pretty good excuse for doing it this time. You know, I take a lot of things from you, Rick, but no, never, never once have you hung up on me.

[Richard Diamond]

Helen, please.

[Helen]

I think it was rude and inconsiderate. Helen, I want to know right now, this minute, just what kind of a poor, lame brain excuse you're going to come up with.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Helen.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, now, look, baby, I don't know what's going on. This is like doing business in a roundhouse. The only reason I hung up on you was because two guys stole in here and shoved guns in my face. And they were looking for the guy who came in earlier and hired me to look after someone named Timothy that I haven't even seen yet.

[Helen]

It sounds awfully confusing.

[Richard Diamond]

It is. Oh, hold the phone. Here's somebody else. Come in with your hands up.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You this diamond?

[Richard Diamond]

Yep.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You got a crank there addressed to you.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, that figures. Bring it in. Helen. Yeah? You sent me maybe a present?

[Helen]

No. You want me to?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, but someone's beaten you to it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Where do you want it?

[Richard Diamond]

Good grief. Put it down right there.

[Helen]

What's the matter?

[Richard Diamond]

The present. The biggest crate you ever saw.

[Helen]

Crate? What's in it?

[Richard Diamond]

How do I know?

[Helen]

Well, open it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Okay, Mr. Diamond, stand right here.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, I hope you still be very happy. Helen.

[Helen]

Yes?

[Richard Diamond]

Hold the phone. I'm going to open this thing.

[Helen]

All right.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, no.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, get away.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Get away. Now get on.

[Richard Diamond]

Get down.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Don't come up here. Don't, don't, don't.

[Helen]

Helen, what in the world's the matter?

[Richard Diamond]

Helen, if this is your idea of.

[Helen]

A joke, please calm down and tell me what's wrong.

[Richard Diamond]

What? Can't you hear it?

[Helen]

Well, I heard something, but I thought you must have eaten your lunch too fast.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, I'm standing on my desk trying to fight off a monster.

[Helen]

What?

[Richard Diamond]

Call up Charles Adams right away.

[Helen]

Monster?

[Richard Diamond]

Yes. I swear it was a seal. But I know my friend's better than that. This thing has got to be poisonous.

[Helen]

A seal?

[Richard Diamond]

Yes, a seal. Hey, he's not so bad. He's applauding. You must have liked that remark about Adams.

[Helen]

Now you stop it. Do you expect me to believe all this?

[Richard Diamond]

She doubts you fell say a few words.

[Helen]

Recalling the world would send you a seal.

[Richard Diamond]

I don't even need to look. This has got to be tempting. Oh, it is tempting. When you heard his name, he made like a curtain call.

[Helen]

Sounds like one. Richard Diamond.

[Richard Diamond]

Hey, that's pretty nothing. I'll call you back.

[Helen]

Where are you going?

[Richard Diamond]

I'm going to take Timothy right back to Mr. Casper Wellington and tell him that.

[Helen]

Yes?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, for the love of. I don't know where to find Mr. Casper Wellington. Well, there it was. It was pretty silly. The smart, shrewd, level headed Richard diamond, for the sake of a couple hundred fast bucks, winds up playing nursemaid and companion to a honking seal. Just to make sure it was Timothy, I took a look at the crate and there on top was a small printed card. It read, this is Timothy. If you want him to do something, throw him a fish.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Herring.

[Richard Diamond]

Signed Caspar Wellington. Well, that tore it. My temper was already pushing my hair up to attention. So I went out to the nearest delicatessen and came back with a bag of fish. With this, I lured Timothy out of the building and down the street. I had to find Casper Wellington. So 60 pedestrians and one unhappy cabbie later, Timothy and I stole casually into the fifth Precinct police station. Well, well. Hello, Sergeant Otis.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, how are you, Shamus?

[Richard Diamond]

Huh? Huh? What?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What you just say?

[Richard Diamond]

I said hello, Sergeant Otis.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

No, after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was it.

[Richard Diamond]

Something wrong? Sergeant Otis, say hello to Timothy. Timothy, this is Sergeant Otis.

[Casper Wellington]

Look.

[Richard Diamond]

Sergeant Timothy. Go on.

[Helen]

Oh, no, no, not get up.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Get him away, Otis.

[Richard Diamond]

He's not so bad, Lieutenant. Now, Otis, come down off that desk. You look sillier than I did.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Try to eat me.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, be quiet. You too, Timothy. You'll wake up the lieutenant.

[Gangster/Thug]

Here's a fish.

[Richard Diamond]

Throw it to Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

That's new, Diamond. You'll probably take my arm along with it. What the devil is going on out here? Otis, what are you doing up there?

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Walt.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What are you doing to my sergeant? And you shut up, Otis. That wasn't me. What do you mean, it wasn't you? Of course it was you.

[Richard Diamond]

Walt, meet Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

How do you.

[Richard Diamond]

I need to think. What would happen if someone wandered in here with a walrus? Come on, Timothy. Let's go see the brave old head of Homicide.

[Helen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Get him out of here.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, relax, Otis. Timothy's as scared as you are.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, yeah? What makes you say that?

[Richard Diamond]

He's probably thinking there's more like you. That would be a horrible shock to anyone, even a seal. Oh, come on, Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You get that thing out of here right now.

[Richard Diamond]

Diamond, everybody's standing on something. You'd think it was a steam bath.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Up till now, I've had two reported homicides and a couple of fat robberies. And if you think you're going to wander in here with that thing and confuse the whole department, you're mistaken. Now get it out of here.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, Walt, it's only a seal. Have a fish.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I'm not hungry.

[Richard Diamond]

No, no, Walt. It's for Timothy. Feed it to him.

[Helen]

He.

[Richard Diamond]

He'll love you. Yeah?

[Narrator/Eddie King]

Do you think so?

[Richard Diamond]

Sure. Sure, Walt. Go ahead. Try it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Okay. Here, Timothy. Hey, he's applauding. Sure.

[Richard Diamond]

He's a nice little fellow. Now climb down and help me.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Give me another fish.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, Won't come down without it, huh? Okay, Walt, speak.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, don't be ridiculous. I want to feed it to Timothy. He likes me.

[Helen]

See?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, lovely. Why don't you two get engaged? Well, after everybody got used to him, Timothy made the round of the whole department, with the commissioner being the only exception, of course. I told Walt the story about Casper Wellington and the two Garnets who had come to my office looking for him. So Walt put Otis to work, checking on the whereabouts of my missing client. Along about three in the afternoon, Otis pounced in with some jewels. Hey, diamond, you find something?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, hi, Timothy. Yeah. Say, I check with the Humane Society, and they report some guy who lives down by the docks. The name's Wellington.

[Gangster/Thug]

All right.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He's been turned in a couple of times because he raises seals and they make a lot of noise. Oh, and lieutenant, we just got a report on another homicide. Well, thanks, Sporty.

[Richard Diamond]

You tell the lieutenant all about it, Otis. I'm going after Casper Wellington. What's the address?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Here it is. 918 River Street.

[Richard Diamond]

Come on, Tim.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Goodbye. Timothy Otis.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, yes.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Casper Wellington]

What was I saying?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Homicide, remember? Just a little old homicide.

[Richard Diamond]

I left Walton Otis climbing over the furniture and headed for the address of Casper Wellington. Timothy and I grabbed the first cabby who didn't believe what he was seeing. And 20 minutes later, we pulled up in front of a building on River Street. Thanks, Gabby.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, sure.

[Richard Diamond]

Thank the man. Timothy.

[Helen]

Mister?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah?

[Casper Wellington]

I didn't ask you nothing when you got in the cab, because I just didn't believe it. Is that the seal you got with you?

[Richard Diamond]

You were expecting maybe a raccoon?

[Casper Wellington]

You always take him around with you like that?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Sure.

[Richard Diamond]

We're brothers. Right by the house sometime for dinner when mom isn't taking a swim.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hmm.

[Richard Diamond]

She's not a very good driver, is he, Timothy? You know it. Come on. You're going home.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hold her right here.

[Gangster/Thug]

Frank, you hide him. This is a gun in your back.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, yeah?

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh, you lied to me.

[Richard Diamond]

I'll go stand in the corner.

[Gangster/Thug]

No, don't move.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, George, grab the seal. Oh, now, wait a minute.

[Narrator/Eddie King]

Wait a minute.

[Richard Diamond]

You can't do that.

[Gangster/Thug]

Wanna bet?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Give me. You take your hand.

[Richard Diamond]

Drop that seal.

[Gangster/Thug]

Get your miles, friend. Next time you don't get it across the neck, I'll give you the rod on the skull.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, friend, I got him.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

All right, get him in the car.

[Gangster/Thug]

You stay put. One bad move, you're gonna get shot up very bad.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Come on, George. You got that thing in the car? Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

He's saying, let's get out of here.

[Gangster/Thug]

All right, friend.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah.

[Gangster/Thug]

You see this I got pointed at you?

[Richard Diamond]

I see. Good.

[Gangster/Thug]

Forget about today. You won't see it again. Open that big yap of yours and it goes back.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Boom.

[Gangster/Thug]

I turn around, because when we leave, I don't want you looking back for no license number.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, I stood there while they drove off with poor little Timothy. Then I made a quick dash across the street into a store with a phone booth. Seconds later, I was hearing one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Diamond, this is Walt. Where the devil are you?

[Richard Diamond]

Where I started out to be, down on river street, looking for my client.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, you stay right there and wait for me. But you might as well stop looking.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, why stop looking? His house is just down at the end of the block.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, take my word Freddie isn't there.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, if you're so smart, where is he?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

The city morgue. We pitched him out of the river 10 minutes ago. What? He was suffering from a hole in his chest. Dead before he was tossed in.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh.

[Richard Diamond]

What? What? Remember those two guys who came into my office earlier?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, they just put the snatch on Timothy and belted me across the neck for my trouble.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

They swiped the seal.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. So get on here. I'll meet you at Caspar Wellington'.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Anybody in the house, Rick? No.

[Richard Diamond]

Well? No answer.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, let's case the place. I've got a skeleton key, dual dw.

[Richard Diamond]

It's open. See? Now, if you'll notice as I walk in, at no time do my feet leave my legs.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Very funny.

[Gangster/Thug]

Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Smells like somebody's been cooking up a fish stew.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Crummy joint.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, get a load of that kitchen.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What a mess.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, weren't cooking fish wall. Just cleaning.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Still a mess of them left on the sink.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, Casper raised seals. Why are the rest of them. Yeah, come here.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What is it?

[Richard Diamond]

Get a look at this backyard.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Holy cow. Bunch of dead seals.

[Richard Diamond]

Who in the world would do anything like that?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Maybe two friends.

[Richard Diamond]

Hey, what's this? What's what?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

This bag on the floor.

[Gangster/Thug]

Leather bag.

[Richard Diamond]

What's in it? Nothing.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Wait a minute. Some kind of dust at the bottom.

[Richard Diamond]

I'll save it. We'll have it analyzed when we get down to the station. We got to check up on those two guys who kidnapped Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

This is the craziest case I got.

[Richard Diamond]

A hunch. Sure. It's crazy, but if I'm right, it's also pretty smart. Let's go to the station.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, Lieutenant.

[Gangster/Thug]

Yeah, Otis?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

We just got something else on that Casper Wellington guy.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, what did he steal?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Hey, how'd you know?

[Richard Diamond]

Just a guess.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, what is it, hammerhead? Why, it seems this Wellington guy works. I mean, used to work for David and Son. David and Sons, diamond importers.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that ties it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Would somebody mind telling me what the devil this is all about? And Rick, you say out of it. Now, Otis, what about Wellington?

[Richard Diamond]

Wellington? Oh, he ran off with a load of diamonds.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, 50,000 bucks worth. Hey, but you, Rick, will you please, for the sake of my sour stomach, tell me exactly what it is?

[Richard Diamond]

You know, I'd be glad to, Lieutenant. It's very simple. Wellington comes to me and asks me to guard Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Two guys kidnapped him and that we heard.

[Richard Diamond]

Then we find a bunch of dead seals in Wellington's backyard and the remains of a pile of clean fish. So? So the two guys who kidnapped Timothy were obviously after something and the seal.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Was part of it. Hey, maybe Timothy wasn't the seal after all. Now what would he be, Otis? Well, if those guys wanted him that bad, maybe he was a mink.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, that bag you picked up wall. Have that powder in the bottom analyzed. I'll lay six, two and even. That is diamond dust. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah, I think Timothy's got a stomach full of diamonds.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

What?

[Richard Diamond]

I think Casper was mixed up with the two guys who grabbed the seal, but in some way crossed them.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Why?

[Richard Diamond]

He had the high dilute. So he stuck it in some fish and fed it to Timothy. Then he left Timothy with me for protection until he could get him shipped out on the train.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

And in the meantime, the two guys who found Casper killed him and went back to his house to find the loot. They figured out the fish like you did and kill the seals in the backyard trying to find this town.

[Richard Diamond]

You, my friend, win a herring.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Otis, have the powder in the bottom of this bag analyzed. Put out a 108 on Timothy.

[Helen]

Yes, sir.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Diamond here. I'll give you the description of the guys who grabbed him.

[Richard Diamond]

We'll never find him that way.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You got a better idea?

[Richard Diamond]

Maybe. Look, you said those two guys killed Casper and then went right over the house and looked for the missing diamonds. All right, they knew where to look, but they didn't find anything. So they waited for me and Timothy. So? So Casper Wellington probably told them all about it before they killed him trying to save his own life.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

All right, I'll buy that. So what?

[Richard Diamond]

So by now they must know how hot those diamonds are. They're certainly not going to try to get rid of near and down.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

And then they leave town.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, and with that much loot, it would be a little risky if they try it by car. All right, all right.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

How do they do it?

[Richard Diamond]

The same way Casper thought of ship Timothy out on a train.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Wait a minute.

[Richard Diamond]

Rick Otis.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah. Put in a call to all units. Tell them to cover the airports, train and bus stations. Be on the lookout for a seal that's about to be shipped.

[Richard Diamond]

Come on, Walt.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Where to?

[Richard Diamond]

As long as Caspar Wellington already made the arrangements by train. Let's get on to Grand Central. Maybe our two seal nappers will keep the reservation. Well, Walt and I piled in the squad car again and 20 minutes later we were standing in the middle of Grand Central Station with a bag of fish and a weather eye out for the missing seal and his two abductors.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Now where do we start?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, Walt, why don't you just go ask information. Just say, I'm looking for two men and a seal. The seal is hiding $50,000 worth of dime.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Now you'll stop that. This was plenty silly before a jewel robbery and a homicide get into the picture. But now it's gotten ridiculous.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, if I was a seal, where would I go?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I have to CR him shipping department.

[Richard Diamond]

And so, with their crusty bag of fish, the two brave detectives walk.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Shut up and let's go. Oh, no. Come on, let's go get something.

[Richard Diamond]

But smile, Walt. This kind of case doesn't happen but once every 10,000 years. Think of your report to the commissioner.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

If you don't stop kidding with me, so help me.

[Richard Diamond]

Hey, Walt.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, now what?

[Richard Diamond]

Look. Those two guys where going down the ramp.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh, they got a big box.

[Richard Diamond]

That's it. Let's take them.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You said they got guns.

[Richard Diamond]

We're pointing things that shot bullets. Could be guns.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Take it easy. They're going up to that counter.

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah. Hold it. Hold it here. No sense in starting a shooting match. Too many people.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, what do we do? Maybe the seal's not in the box. And if I pick them up without the loot, we may never find it.

[Richard Diamond]

I got an idea.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Go ahead, genius.

[Richard Diamond]

Timothy likes fish, doesn't he?

[Helen]

Yeah.

[Gangster/Thug]

Yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, take this bag. They know me. So you walk down there and move in close to the box. Timothy's bound to get a whiff. And if I know Timothy, he'll raise a few flippers.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You want me to.

[Richard Diamond]

You want to get those diamonds, don't you? Oh.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Give me the bag.

[Richard Diamond]

Don't snap. People will just think you ran out of cologne. Now get gone.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, Pardon me, but I'd like to find out about sending something.

[Narrator/Eddie King]

Oh, yeah?

[Gangster/Thug]

Well, what's the idea, buster? We was here first. Shut up, stupid.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

You boys must be really sending something big.

[Gangster/Thug]

Let's do nothing.

[Richard Diamond]

I told you to shut up. Yeah, some.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Some furs or live ones?

[Narrator/Eddie King]

Hey, Tiny, what's with the sea?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Will you shut up? What? I hate to mention it, but your furs are throwing a fit. Okay, boys. That's all I wanted to know. Hey, what's the idea?

[Richard Diamond]

Oh.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Stay right there. Hey, Rick, cops. Were you all right, bud?

[Richard Diamond]

Drop it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I said drop it. Okay, okay.

[Narrator/Eddie King]

Ain't taking me.

[Gangster/Thug]

Look out, Rick.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

This guy's got a gun. Lego. Lego.

[Helen]

My hand.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Where do you get the seal off? He's chewing my hand off. And drop the gun. All right, all right. Get him off.

[Helen]

Come on.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

How do you like that? Timothy grabbed his gun up by the Gun hand and made him drop it. I'll be gone crazy seal nearly kill me.

[Gangster/Thug]

You and your bright idea.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Shift the seal, you ship. Okay, boys, here's a bracelet for you. Let's go outside.

[Richard Diamond]

Walt. Walt, wait a minute. We got to get the jewels.

[Gangster/Thug]

Oh.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Oh, yeah. Well, I'll take care of these two guys. And I'll take Timothy to a good veterinary.

[Richard Diamond]

Okay, Walt? Yeah, if it means surgery, keep in touch. Sure. Bye, Timothy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Rick, now, don't be unhappy.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, how can I help it, honey? I. He's been in surgery for nearly an.

[Helen]

Hour, but he'll be all right.

[Casper Wellington]

They got a good vet.

[Richard Diamond]

I hope so. I was getting attached to that seal. Oh, I got it. Yeah. Rick? Yeah, Walt? Yeah. How's Timothy?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He had the diamonds in him all right.

[Richard Diamond]

But how is he? Well, go ahead, Walt. You can tell me. I. I can stand it.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He's very weak. Doctor says he thinks he doesn't want to live.

[Richard Diamond]

No will. Oh, what's the matter? He was such a happy seal.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I think he misses you, Rick. Every time someone mentions your name, he kind of honks and raises a weak flipper.

[Richard Diamond]

I better come right down.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He's sinking fast.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh, you think maybe if he heard my voice. Can you get a phone near him?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Richard Diamond]

Wait a minute.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Okay, I got it next to his ear. Say something.

[Richard Diamond]

Hello, Timothy? Walt?

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, Walt.

[Richard Diamond]

Ask him if he's seen a picture called Mrs. Mike.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

He says he saw it, didn't like the leading man. Love, devil and keys.

[Richard Diamond]

Oh. Ask him if he liked the music.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Yeah, he liked that.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, put the receiver next to his ear, and I'll sing him the theme song.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, go ahead and try. Anything in case of an emergency.

[Singer]

If her name is Kathy, she's mine.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Alone.

[Singer]

When I walk with Kathy.

[Richard Diamond]

Proud am I.

[Singer]

She's the girl I'll marry and cross the threshold I'll carry and I'll love But Kathy till I die.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

She'S the only.

[Singer]

Angel I've ever known oh, she's a maid. No man is worthy all the girls are many Compared to her, there isn't any.

[Helen]

Only.

[Singer]

Cathy.

[Helen]

Do I know.

[Richard Diamond]

Well, Walt, I did it. He's better.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Listen.

[Richard Diamond]

Good old Timothy. That a boy.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

I guess the singing did it.

[Richard Diamond]

What do you mean, you guess? When I sang with a Peter Pan 5, we played two weeks at the Carl Gables Hotel in Florida.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

So what?

[Richard Diamond]

So what? I'll have you know, five minutes after I opened my mouth, every seal in the bis game keys came in and sat ringside.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

That sounds like a pretty good act. What'd you give it up for?

[Richard Diamond]

Well, I got a sore throat one night and the place was up to its ears in alligators.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Greg?

[Helen]

Yes, Wall.

[Narrator/Eddie King]

You have just heard Richard Diamond, Private detective, starring Dick Powell. Ed Begley played Lieutenant Walt Levinson. Also in the cast were Wilms Herbert, Fay Baker, Junius Matthews, Billy Bletcher, Tony Barrett and Larry Dobkins. Music was under the direction of Frank Worth. Richard diamond is written by Blake Edwards and directed by Russell Hughes. Dick Powell currently may be seen in the motion picture version of the best selling novel, Mrs. Mike. Isn't that right, Dick?

[Richard Diamond]

Yeah, yeah, that's right, Eddie. Oh, by the way, Ed Begley, who plays Lt. Levinson on our show, would like to say a few words to his old friends in Hartford, Connecticut.

[Lieutenant Walt Levinson]

Well, I just want to say on behalf of all of us here, I'm Richard Diamond. Congratulations to radio station WTIC in Hartford, Connecticut, where I got my start in radio and which this week celebrates its 25th anniversary of service to the people of southern New England.

[Narrator/Eddie King]

Thank you, Ed Begley. Now, this is Eddie King inviting you to be with us next Sunday at this same time when we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard diamond, private detective.