Jack And Jill 3xxxxx 001 Jack And Jill Get Married

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Jack And Jill 3xxxxx 001 – "Jack And Jill Get Married"

Release Date: January 12, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "Jack And Jill Get Married," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, immersing them in the lively and comedic escapades of Jack and Jill. Set in Fort Worth, Texas, the episode captures the essence of youthful romance, familial tensions, and the adventurous spirit of young love.

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Setting the Scene

The story unfolds in the cozy home of Jack and Jill. As the episode begins, Jack enthusiastically introduces their adventures to the audience.

Jack (00:56): "We bring you Jack and Jill, ladies and gentlemen, and we ask a welcome for them. Go with them on their adventures. They are the ambassadors of youth, romance and fun. Laugh and thrill with them. You may not believe it all, but you'll enjoy listening to them."

Jill responds promptly, signaling their readiness for the day's events.

Jill (01:10): "Are we ready?"

This sets the stage for the unfolding drama centered around their impending marriage.

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The Car Mishap and Family Dynamics

Jack arrives home to find his father, Mr. Jordan, who is less than thrilled with his presence. Their conversation reveals Jack's questionable car maintenance practices and strained father-son relationship.

Jack (01:40): "You can't miss that car of mine, can you? I always go to the top of the hill. Then I come back down coasting so I can tie up with the tree in front of your house."

Mr. Jordan voices his concerns about Jack's driving habits and the state of his car.

Mr. Jordan (02:10): "Yes, that's what the garage man told dad. But we've had a lot of fun in it, haven't we?"

Their banter highlights Jack's carefree attitude and Mr. Jordan's underlying worries about his son's future.

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Jack's Impulsive Marriage Plan

Jack reveals his grand plan to marry Jill, despite financial constraints, intending to secure a diamond ring on credit and conduct the ceremony with the help of acquaintances.

Jack (02:55): "Well, there's only one answer to that, dear. Somebody must have been telling your father the truth about me."

He then outlines his strategy to Mr. Jordan, showcasing his optimistic yet unrealistic approach.

Jack (03:00): "The man didn't see me get them. No, no, he's dead."

Jack's proposal underscores the theme of youthful impulsiveness versus parental caution.

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Conflict with Mr. Jordan

Mr. Jordan expresses his reservations about Jack's marriage plans, emphasizing the seriousness of such a commitment.

Mr. Jordan (04:03): "What are you going to hit the minister for?"

Jack clarifies his intentions, albeit humorously miscommunicating his plans.

Jack (04:12): "I'm not going to hit him, dear. Kathim, Kathim, that means putting him on the cuff. You know, getting married on credit."

The dialogue intensifies as Mr. Jordan worries about their financial stability and Jack's ability to provide.

Mr. Jordan (05:05): "Start where?"

Jack (05:06): "To California. California here we come."

Mr. Jordan counters with practical concerns about the costs associated with their plan.

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Parental Disapproval and Defense of Love

As tension mounts, Jill confronts Jack's father directly, questioning his disapproval of Jack compared to another suitor, Andy Miller.

Mr. Jordan (09:03): "I'm going to get married."

Jill (09:27): "That's no news. Everybody expects you and Andy Miller to make a match of it."

Jill vehemently defends Jack, highlighting his positive traits despite his financial shortcomings.

Jill (09:34): "Jack Jordan, a grinning back slapper, a pool shark champion loafer of Fort Worth, One suit of clothes, one pair of white pants, a pack of cigarettes, a pleasant smile and a cigarette lighter. That's just like him. It Won't work."

Mr. Jordan counters by pointing out Jack's lack of financial stability, further complicating the familial dynamics.

Mr. Jordan (10:27): "Well, you didn't have so much when you married Mother. All you had was $11."

This back-and-forth dialogue underscores the generational clash between youthful optimism and parental pragmatism.

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The Bet and Departure

In a bid to prove his readiness, Jack proposes a bet to secure the necessary funds for his marriage plans. The tension peaks as the bet's outcome leaves Jack unable to back out.

Jill (12:23): "I'll bet he hasn't."

Jack (12:27): "I'll tell you what I'll do."

The bet leads to a humorous yet poignant realization of Jack's financial naivety.

Jack (12:54): "I've got $11. And the only thing that you had when you got married that I haven't got is a broken leg. And I don't want that. Goodbye, dad. Come on, Jill."

Despite Mr. Jordan's final pleas, Jack and Jill decide to embark on their matrimonial journey, symbolizing the triumph of love and determination over obstacles.

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with Jack and Jill setting off on their adventure, embodying the enduring spirit of young love and the challenges it faces.

Jack (13:38): "And so they're off, Jack and Jill, down the hill of matrimony. We hope their road will always run downhill. Tomorrow at this time we'll learn more about the way that twelve dollar car behaved."

This closing line encapsulates the lighthearted yet earnest tone of the episode, leaving listeners anticipating the couple's future endeavors.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jack (00:56): "We bring you Jack and Jill, ladies and gentlemen, and we ask a welcome for them... You may not believe it all, but you'll enjoy listening to them."

• Mr. Jordan (05:37): "Listen, you know, that's 2,000 miles away. Yeah, but I just love to live in California."

• Jill (09:34): "Jack Jordan, a grinning back slapper,... That's just like him. It Won't work."

• Jack (12:04): "What are you going to live in? Houses cost money."

• Mr. Jordan (12:21): "Oh, he has to. Got a dollar now, dad?"

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This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio masterfully blends humor, familial conflict, and the timeless theme of love conquering adversity. Through Jack and Jill's spirited dialogue and adventures, listeners are reminded of the enduring charm of classic radio storytelling.

Transcript

[Jack]

We bring you Jack and Jill, ladies and gentlemen, and we ask a welcome for them. Go with them on their adventures. They are the ambassadors of youth, romance and fun. Laugh and thrill with them. You may not believe it all, but you'll enjoy listening to them.

[Jill]

Are we ready?

[Jack]

All right. Here we are in the home of Jack and Jill. Jill, the girl of the story, lives here. Fort Worth, Texas. She is waiting for Jack. He's here. The doorbell is ringing.

[Mr. Jordan]

Coming, Jack. I'm coming. Oh, hello, honey. Well, well, well.

[Jack]

How is the dearest, sweetest angel that God ever made?

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, I'm just signed. Give me your hat. You know, I thought I heard you coming up the hill.

[Jack]

You can't miss that car of mine, can you? I always go to the top of the hill. Then I come back down coasting so I can tie up with the tree in front of your house.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, won't the brakes hold it without tying it to a tree?

[Jack]

Yeah, they would if I had any brakes. Oh, say, I ran into Bill just now.

[Mr. Jordan]

Was he glad to see you?

[Jack]

No, no, not very.

[Mr. Jordan]

No.

[Jack]

I smashed the right fender on his car. But that's a good old wagon of mine. It's worth every cent of the $12 I paid for it. Do you know something? I haven't paid a dollar for repairs on that car since I've owned it.

[Mr. Jordan]

Yes, that's what the garage man told dad. But we've had a lot of fun in it, haven't we? You know, Friday, Joe Masters came up when we were tied up in front of Nelson's ice cream place and asked me if anyone was hurt.

[Jack]

He was just kidding you, dear. He thought you'd been in a wreck.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, we were. I was sitting in one then.

[Jack]

Hey, listen. Oh, say, is dad home?

[Jill]

Where's that daughter?

[Jack]

Yeah, he's home.

[Mr. Jordan]

It's Jack, Dad. And he brought me some lovely flowers.

[Jack]

Yeah. Ooh, that's the nastiest yeah I ever listened to. Say, he doesn't like me very well, does he?

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, well, we don't care, honey.

[Jack]

I know, I know. We don't care anything about that.

[Mr. Jordan]

No.

[Jack]

Well, there's only one answer to that, dear. Somebody must have been telling your father the truth about me.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, honey, the flowers are just beautiful.

[Jack]

You like it?

[Mr. Jordan]

But you know, you shouldn't be spending your money for flowers, dear.

[Jack]

Oh, that's all right. The man didn't see me get them. No, no, he's dead.

[Mr. Jordan]

Look. Look. Oh, a box of candy. Well, if it isn't the cutest little bittiest one I Ever saw. Is it a sample?

[Jack]

Yeah, it's a sample. No, it isn't a sample. So certainly not. They cost two for a quarter. I ate the other one on the way home. I didn't have any lunch. Oh, look, look, look, look, look, Jack.

[Mr. Jordan]

Something else for me?

[Jack]

Yes, there's something in every pocket for you. Look, look, look. How's that, Jack? Uh huh.

[Mr. Jordan]

A diamond ring?

[Jack]

Sure.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, who's it for?

[Jack]

I'll give you three guesses.

[Mr. Jordan]

Why, Jack, I, I, I.

[Jack]

Say no more, say no more. The eyes have it. Here, hold out that finger.

[Mr. Jordan]

But you can't afford a diamond ring, honey.

[Jack]

Why, it only cost a dollar, precious.

[Mr. Jordan]

A dollar?

[Jack]

Uh huh. Well that is the first payment only cost a dollar. Oh, Mr. Rider, the jeweler is going to trust me for the rest of it. And then he's going to trust me for the plain one too. And then the county clerk is my uncle, so we won't need money there for the license. And I know a minister that I can cuff for the ceremony. So we're all set to get married. Now go get your hat.

[Mr. Jordan]

What are you going to hit the minister for?

[Jack]

I'm not going to hit him, dear. Kathim, Kathim, that means putting him on the cuff. You know, getting married on credit.

[Mr. Jordan]

But Jack, getting married is a serious business. Now I don't know about.

[Jack]

Come on now, just this once.

[Mr. Jordan]

Now listen, if we're going into this thing, we're going into it right?

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Mr. Jordan]

Now you take that ring right back to Mr. Ryder's store. Maybe he won't take it back.

[Jack]

Oh sure, sure, he'll be glad to get it back.

[Mr. Jordan]

Now listen, we're going to be sensible about this, dear. We're not going to start out with a lot of debt. I'll tell you, I've got a little money saved and I'll lend you that.

[Jack]

Now honey, don't talk to me like that.

[Mr. Jordan]

Why?

[Jack]

Well, I couldn't take your money. No, certainly not. I'll starve first. How much have you got?

[Mr. Jordan]

$60.

[Jack]

All right, all right. Now there's no reason why we can't be partnered just as well as husband and wife, is there?

[Mr. Jordan]

No.

[Jack]

50. 50 on everything right from the start. You got $60.

[Mr. Jordan]

Yes.

[Jack]

All right, I'll put my money with your $60 and then we'll take the $60 one and a half and we'll start out.

[Mr. Jordan]

Start where?

[Jack]

To California. California here we come.

[Mr. Jordan]

Jack, don't be silly. Why, it costs more than we've got just to go one way.

[Jack]

Oh, that's where we're smart. We're only going one way, and we're going together in my Ford.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, honey, fun is fun, but no girl wants to laugh all the way to California. Listen, you know, that's 2,000 miles away. Yeah, but I just love to live in California. You know, I bet you could get a job out there. You know, nobody knows you out in California.

[Jack]

That's right. Say, what do you mean? Now, what kind of a crack is that to make?

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, I'd better ask dad, hadn't I?

[Jack]

Now, wait a minute. Now, we don't want him along, do we? Well, listen, honey, I've got a tent, and I'll put it in the back of the car. Then when we get there, all we'll need will be some groceries, and then we'll be all set to start housekeeping.

[Mr. Jordan]

And if things don't go right, I'll go to work in hell.

[Jack]

Yeah.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, I wish the Lord had made me a man.

[Jack]

He did. He did, honey. And here he is right here. Kiss me. Now, what in the world could you do working?

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, I could get a job singing in one of those nightclubs.

[Jack]

Yeah, we'll get along all right, honey.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, I can sing as good as Mary Kennedy, and she makes a hundred dollars a week. Yeah, I can sing as good as she can, can't I?

[Jack]

Well, I only heard her sing once at her grandfather's funeral. I thought she was crying until somebody told me she was singing her grandfather's favorite song. Rest, Rest forever. I couldn't help wondering how she expected him to rest with her making all that racket.

[Mr. Jordan]

Do you really think we could make it all the way out there?

[Jack]

Why, of course we can, honey. It isn't what you start out with. It's the finish that counts.

[Mr. Jordan]

Yes, it's the finish that worries me in that car.

[Jack]

Aw.

[Mr. Jordan]

Still, dad wasn't much better off when he started, and he's done pretty well. Do you know that when he married Mother, all he had in the world was $11?

[Jack]

$11?

[Mr. Jordan]

And he broke his leg on his wedding day. Besides, no.

[Jack]

$11 and a broken leg. Well, there certainly ought to be a chance for us. Now, you run upstairs and break the news to dad, because if I do it, I'll have a broken leg on my wedding day. Now, I'll run over to the courthouse and see my. Say, look, honey, that car don't look so bad. You can see it from the window here. Maybe it needs a little paint or something.

[Mr. Jordan]

Good Lord. What's the matter?

[Jack]

Oh, look. Somebody cut it away from the tree and it's gone down the hill.

[Mr. Jordan]

Run, Jack, and catch it. Run, honey. Hurry. Quick.

[Jill]

Oh, my poor little car.

[Mr. Jordan]

Hurry, hurry. Hello? Oh, hello, Jenny. Heard what news? Your sister. No. When? 3:00 this morning. Three of them. Oh dear, is the doctor still there? Oh, I hope she gets along all right. Well, what do you think of that? If there's anything I can do, I'll come right over. Who, dad? No, no, he's home. Mandolin lesson. Listen, and I'll tell you a secret. He isn't taking any mandolin lessons. No, he just uses that as an excuse when he wants to get rid of anybody. You know, when he don't like them and he doesn't want to talk to them, he always says he's busy with his mandolin lessons. Yes, it is funny, isn't it? Wait, I'll call him. Oh, Dan. Dan.

[Jill]

Calling me, honey?

[Mr. Jordan]

Yes, you wanted on the phone.

[Jill]

Who is it?

[Mr. Jordan]

It's Jenny Marshall.

[Jill]

I can't come now. I'm busy with my mandolin lesson.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, he'll call you later, Jenny. He says he's shaving now. Now, don't forget. If I can do anything for you sister, let me know. All right. Goodbye. Three of them. Goodness me.

[Jill]

Three of what?

[Mr. Jordan]

It's Jenny's sister at 3:00 this morning.

[Jill]

Three what?

[Mr. Jordan]

Three fingers. She smashed three fingers in the door at 3:00 this morning. Gee, I'm glad you came down, dad. I've got something to say to you.

[Jill]

Okay.

[Mr. Jordan]

No, no. Now put your paper away and listen to this.

[Jill]

Well, this must be important.

[Mr. Jordan]

It's the most important thing in a girl's life. Well, are you ready?

[Jill]

You may fire when ready.

[Mr. Jordan]

I'm going to get married.

[Jill]

That's no news. Everybody expects you and Andy Miller to make a match of it.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, this is news. It's not Andy Miller. I hate him.

[Jill]

Not Andy. Then who?

[Mr. Jordan]

It's Jack Jordan. You know we're going to be Jack and Jim.

[Jill]

Yes, and I'll kick him all the way down the hill out there if he so much as looks at you.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, what have you got against him?

[Jill]

What's he got to support you on? Has he got a job? No. Has he got any money? No. Right now he's $15 short of having 15 cents.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, he is not. I loaned him a half a dollar yesterday.

[Jill]

Jack Jordan, a grinning back slapper, a pool shark champion loafer of Fort Worth, One suit of clothes, one pair of white pants, a pack of cigarettes, a pleasant smile and a cigarette lighter. That's just like him. It Won't work.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, he's got a watch.

[Jill]

Yes, and I was afraid to ask him where he got it.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, I bet he'll be rich someday.

[Jill]

That's exactly what I'm afraid of. Then I'll have to bail him out of some jail. What's your objection to Andy Miller?

[Mr. Jordan]

Andy Miller? A policeman? Imagine a cop in our family.

[Jill]

The last time this Jack Jordan worked, he drove a taxi cab, didn't he?

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, that's better than being a cop.

[Jill]

What's the difference? One knocks them down and the other picks them up, that's all, dad.

[Mr. Jordan]

Well, you didn't have so much when you married Mother. All you had was $11.

[Jill]

But I did have $11. This pool expert of yours hasn't got 11 cents.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, you caught it.

[Jack]

I caught it, Jill. It hasn't got any fenders on it now.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, dear.

[Jack]

Oh, hello, Dad. I suppose you've heard the news. We're going to get married. Well, shake hands with your new son in law.

[Jill]

Oh, you cool lizard. You idle, shiftless. No account.

[Jack]

You know something, dad? You're the only man in this town who really understands me. Look, Look, I brought something for you, dad. And you talking to me like that.

[Jill]

What is it?

[Mr. Jordan]

Jack Jordan? That's a whiskey flask.

[Jack]

No, no, no. It's just a little private Amendment to the 18th Amendment.

[Jill]

Is it empty?

[Jack]

No, it had just a drop in. You know, just a little to have around the house in case of sickness.

[Jill]

That's good stuff, dad.

[Mr. Jordan]

Why, Jack, he's drinking it.

[Jack]

That's all right, Jill. Let him alone. Let him alone. Let him drink all he wants to. That's good for his eyesight.

[Mr. Jordan]

His eyesight?

[Jack]

Sure. Five or six drinks of that stuff and he'll see things he never saw before. You remember what Homer said, dad?

[Mr. Jordan]

Homer? Oh, I know who he is. He's the man Babe Ruth is always knocking out.

[Jill]

You needn't try to bribe me. Taking her away from a good home where she eats food three times a day to what? Tell me that. To what?

[Mr. Jordan]

To California, Dad.

[Jill]

Yes, and he'll feed you on California sunshine. I suppose there's lots of it out there, and it's free. What have you got to support her on? Tell me that. Go on, tell me.

[Jack]

A $12 Ford car and a lot of hope and faith and strength.

[Jill]

What are you going to live in? Houses cost money.

[Mr. Jordan]

Yes, but we've got a tent, dad.

[Jack]

Well, Jill tells me that when you got married, all you had was $11 and a broken leg besides.

[Jill]

But I did have $11. You pop, are you? And that's 11 times more than you've got right now. Look what wants to get married without a dollar.

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, he has to. Got a dollar now, dad?

[Jack]

No, I haven't. Not here.

[Jill]

I'll bet he hasn't.

[Jack]

I'll tell you what I'll do.

[Jill]

Look here. They tell me you're a great sport. Well, here's your chance. I'll bet you $10 you can't. Show me a dollar. Here it is. A brand new $10 bill. Show me $1 and it's yours. And my girl too. Now what do you say?

[Mr. Jordan]

Oh, go on, Jack, Go on.

[Jack]

No, sir. No, sir. I promised Jill I wouldn't be.

[Jill]

You're scared to death. $1 wins 10. That's fair. And Jill goes with it. What do you say, huh?

[Mr. Jordan]

Go on, Jack. Look in all your pockets. Look in this one.

[Jack]

Look here. Don't do that. I'm j.

[Mr. Jordan]

Stop it.

[Jack]

Oh, look, here it is. Here it is. Look, look, look. There's my dollar. There's my dollar. I win. Now you give me that tent. Give me that 10 now. Now I'm right where you started. Now I've got $11. And the only thing that you had when you got married that I haven't got is a broken leg. And I don't want that. Goodbye, dad. Come on, Jill.

[Mr. Jordan]

Goodbye, dad.

[Jack]

And so they're off, Jack and Jill, down the hill of matrimony. We hope their road will always run downhill. Tomorrow at this time we'll learn more about the way that twelve dollar car behaved.