Jack Carson Show 46-10-02 (01) Runs for County Commissioner

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Jack Carson Show 46-10-02 (01) Runs for County Commissioner
Release Date: February 8, 2025

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Introduction

In this captivating episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with the delightful Jack Carson Show. Hosted by the affable Jack Carson, this episode intricately weaves humor, community spirit, and a touch of political satire as Jack contemplates running for County Commissioner. The episode masterfully balances scripted humor with engaging character interactions, offering both entertainment and subtle commentary on public service.

Episode Overview

The episode begins with a nostalgic Campbell Soup advertisement, setting the stage for a family-friendly atmosphere. The main narrative unfolds at Jack Carson's cozy abode on 22 North Hollywood Lane, where Jack, portrayed as the quintessential relaxed everyman, lounges in a hammock, embodying his newfound philosophy of simplicity and relaxation acquired during a vacation in Wisconsin.

Key Discussions and Plot Progression

1. Jack's Philosophy of Relaxation:

   • [02:04] Jack contemplates his life’s simplicity:
     "Life can be very simple if you'll just relax."
     This sets the thematic foundation for the episode, highlighting Jack's desire for a less complicated life.

2. Community Concerns:

   • [03:27] Tugwell points out the overgrown grass in the front yard:
     "You've forgotten to make arrangements to have it cut and now it's seven feet tall."
     This minor domestic issue becomes a metaphor for larger community neglect.

3. Norma Jean’s Proposition:

   • [06:42] Norma Jean confronts Jack about his potential candidacy:
     "I don't think you ought to be lying around like this if you expect to be elected to a public office."
     She reveals that Ms. Ryan, the local bookstore owner, has nominated Jack for County Commissioner, emphasizing his honesty and reliability.

4. Reluctant Acceptance:

   • [11:34] After initial resistance, Jack begins to entertain the idea:
     "I have a lot of qualifications for a public servant. And who knows? I might make a better politician than I am an actor."
     This marks the turning point where Jack starts to consider embracing public service.

5. Freddie Martin’s Campaign Ideas:

   • [12:16] Freddie Martin, Jack's orchestra leader, humorously suggests integrating Campbell Soup into Jack's campaign platform:
     "It's the season's new pack of Campbell's Tomato Soup at your grocer's."
     The intertwining of sponsorship and politics adds a layer of comedic irony.

6. Simplicity as a Campaign Theme:

   • [24:51] Jack embraces his campaign:
     "I'll announce my candidacy tomorrow, and my platform will be one word. Simplicity."
     A catchy and relatable theme, it underscores the show's central message of returning to basic values.

7. Mr. Gibbs’ Opposition:

   • [19:07] Mr. Gibbs, the Chairman of the First District Political Board, confronts Jack:
     "I am personally opposed to any inexperienced novice or rank amateur being put up as a party candidate."
     This confrontation introduces tension, highlighting the challenges of non-traditional candidates in politics.

8. Humorous Setbacks:

   • [22:44] Mr. Gibbs offers Jack an absurd position:
     "First Assistant municipal dog meat inspector."
     Jack's baffled response underscores the show's satirical take on political appointments.

Humorous Moments and Character Dynamics

• Jack vs. Tugwell: Tugwell’s playful skepticism about Jack’s fishing stories and his campaign promises adds a lighthearted dynamic.
  [06:17] Tugwell humorously disputes the size of Jack’s catch:
  "That fish you caught was nothing but a tadpole and a tiger."

• Norma Jean’s Enthusiasm: Her unwavering support contrasts with Jack’s reluctance, embodying the ideal grassroots supporter.
  [07:24] Norma Jean exclaims:
  "I think you're the smartest man in the whole world."

• Freddie Martin’s Product Placement: The seamless integration of Campbell Soup into the dialogue provides comedic relief and nostalgia.
  [13:25] Freddie pitches the soup as part of the campaign:
  "It's the season's new pack of Campbell's Tomato Soup at your grocer's."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jack Carson on Simplicity:
  [17:34]
  "You know, politics are in such a state right now that people are all confused."

• Norma Jean on Public Service:
  [10:07]
  "This community is all run down and the people need somebody for a leader."

• Mr. Gibbs on Experience:
  [19:35]
  "Have you ever been elected to any office of importance?"

Conclusion and Reflections

The episode culminates with Jack reluctantly accepting his role as a candidate, driven by the support of his community and family. The interplay between personal aspirations and public responsibility is deftly handled, encapsulating the essence of civic duty with a humorous twist. The recurring Campbell Soup advertisements serve as a nostalgic anchor, blending seamlessly with the storyline to evoke a bygone era of radio entertainment.

Listeners are left with a sense of warmth and amusement, reflecting on the simplicity of community bonds and the unexpected paths that lead individuals to public service. The Jack Carson Show not only entertains but also subtly encourages engagement in communal activities, all while maintaining the charming humor characteristic of the Golden Age of Radio.

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Sponsor Segment: Throughout the episode, engaging Campbell Soup advertisements remind listeners of the timeless appeal of Campbell's Tomato Soup. Descriptions like "Made from extra luscious tomatoes, sun ripened for vitamin content and tempting flavor" emphasize the product's quality, seamlessly integrating into the storyline and enhancing the nostalgic ambiance of the show.

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This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of the "Jack Carson Show 46-10-02 (01) Runs for County Commissioner" episode, highlighting its key themes, character dynamics, and memorable moments, while providing a comprehensive overview for both new listeners and longtime fans.

Transcript

[Jack Carson]

Para los beneficios del segro de desemplo de Oregon es gratis applicar sin costos nitarifas paroptener beneficios y los servicios de interpretacion estandis ponibles presentar su solicitud es facil yame al uno, ocho, siete, siete, tres, cuatro, cinco, tres, cuatro, ocho, cuatro. Uno, ocho, siete, siete, tres, cuatro, cinco, tres, cuatro, ocho, cuatro, Pa. Mmm, good.

[Freddie Martin]

Mmm, good. That's what Campbell soups are. Good. From Hollywood, the Campbell Soup show, starring Jack Carson. Just back from vacation. Here are Jack Carson, Freddie Martin and his orchestra. Arthur Treacher, Jack's nephew Tugwell, played by Dave Willock, little 8 year old Norma Jean Nielsen, Irene Ryan and yours truly. Mmm, good. It's back again. Yes, folks, the new Seasons pack of Campbell's Tomato Soup is at your grocers now. Made from extra luscious tomatoes, sun ripened for vitamin content and tempting flavor. You'll catch that deep down flavor in every tempting spoonful. Mmm, good. You'll enjoy the health benefits of these fine tomatoes, too. And you'll be glad to know that here's one family favorite you can count on again to help you with your meal plans. Remember, your grocer now has the new pack, Campbell's Tomato Soup. Have it soon and often. The time to stock up is now. Well, now it's time to look in the little house at 22 North Hollywood Lane, where lying on the front porch in a hammock, we find a completely relaxed Jack Carson.

[Arthur Treacher]

Mr. Carson, sir, are you going to lie here on the front porch hammock all day today like you did yesterday?

[Jack Carson]

Yeah, I think I might, Preacher, I have no other plans. Move that pillow a little more under my feet, will you? Thank you. You know, Creature, lying in that Wisconsin sun last summer during my vacation, I arrived at a new philosophy. I spent a lot of time lying in that sun and I came to the conclusion that life can be very simple if you'll just relax.

[Arthur Treacher]

That may be true, sir, but I'm a bit worried. You've been back three whole days and you haven't even made a reconnaissance trip to Hollywood and Vine.

[Jack Carson]

Well, with all this smog we've been having, the visibility is pretty bad. Besides, women and the general run of things are not really very important.

[Arthur Treacher]

Uh, could I have that again, sir?

[Jack Carson]

I said women are not important.

[Arthur Treacher]

Mr. Carson, might it be possible that you stayed out too long in that Wisconsin sun.

[Jack Carson]

Not at all, Trichard. I'm sure everybody would be better off if they could all see how my theory of relapses relaxation works. It rocked the hammock a little bit and I'll tell you all about it. Yes, you see, it all came to me one day.

[Tugwell]

Here you are, Uncle Jack. Here's that other glass of lemonade you wanted me to fix.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, thanks.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Streets.

[Jack Carson]

It all came to me one afternoon up there in Wisconsin. I was lying under some pine trees outside our camp. Just lying there, resting. Well, sir, as I lay there looking up through those trees, the whole thing suddenly came to me just as though it had floated down out of the sky.

[Tugwell]

Oh, what was it a picture of Lena the hyena.

[Jack Carson]

Doug? Well, I'm talking about things on a slightly higher plane. You see, Treacher, I used to worry and fret and fuss. I could have spent all summer worrying about home, but I didn't. When I came back, it proved that I was right. Everything was just exactly the way I had left it.

[Tugwell]

Yeah, except for the grass in the front yard. You know, you forgot to make arrangements to have it cut and now it's seven feet tall.

[Jack Carson]

All right, so the grass is seven feet tall. But that's a minor detail.

[Tugwell]

Well, the neighbors don't think so. Three of their children are lost in it.

[Jack Carson]

Stop exaggerating, Thugwell. Those children were just playing in there and I went in and got them out last night.

[Arthur Treacher]

Well, we haven't received any mail for several days, sir. The next time you're in there, see if you can find the postman.

[Jack Carson]

Will you two please stop worrying about the. In a day or two, we'll have it mowed.

[Arthur Treacher]

I think someone's coming across the front lawn now, sir. I can see the top of the grass moving.

[Tugwell]

Gee, I hope it's not a wild animal.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, don't be silly. It couldn't be anything like that.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Hello, everybody.

[Jack Carson]

Well, it's little Norma Jean. How are you, honey?

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

I'm fine, But I sure had a hard time getting through all that tall grass. And it's dark in there, too.

[Jack Carson]

Well, there's nothing to be afraid of, honey.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Maybe not, but when I was halfway through, I think something bit me.

[Tugwell]

Oh, yeah, the postman's probably getting hungry.

[Jack Carson]

Come on up here in the porch. Normatine, Would you like a little lemonade?

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Oh, no, thank you. I really came over because you didn't finish telling me the story about your fishing trip in Wisconsin.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, no, I didn't finish that did I. Now, where was I?

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

You were out in the middle of the Milwaukee river in a canoe.

[Jack Carson]

Yes.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

And you've been trying for three hours to land a barracuda.

[Jack Carson]

Yes, that's true.

[Arthur Treacher]

Is that the same kind of barracuda they catch in Griffith Park?

[Jack Carson]

Never mind. Anyway, Normaji, there I was with that ferocious fish on the end of my line.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Mr. Carson?

[Jack Carson]

Yes?

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

My mother says that kind of fish is an ocean fish. How does it happen that a barracuda was in the Milwaukee River?

[Jack Carson]

Well, they're a little near sighted and sometimes they make a wrong turn at the Gulf of Mexico.

[Irene Ryan]

Oh.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Well, what finally happened after you fought with it for three hours?

[Jack Carson]

What could happen? My muscles of sinewy steel were more than a match for this denizen of the deep. And at last, exhausted but triumphant, I landed this ferocious monster.

[Tugwell]

Ferocious monster? I saw a picture of the fish you caught and it was only six inches long.

[Jack Carson]

All right, but in three hours of fighting, a barracuda can lose a lot of weight.

[Tugwell]

Uncle Jack, that, that.

[Jack Carson]

Pardon me.

[Tugwell]

That fish you caught was nothing but a tadpole and a tiger. Something in your throat, boy.

[Jack Carson]

Anyway, Tuggle, that'll do. I'm not going to argue with you right now. It spoils my. Relax.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Mr. Carson. I don't think you ought to be lying around like this if you expect to be elected to a public office.

[Jack Carson]

Public office? I don't want to be elected to anything.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Well, you're going to be. Ms. Ryan said so.

[Tugwell]

Who?

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Well, you know Ms. Ryan who runs the bookstore in the corner.

[Jack Carson]

Yes.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Well, she put your name up for the next election.

[Jack Carson]

She did what? Honey, are you kidding?

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

No, it really happened. You see, she said the community needed somebody as a leader. And she's on the committee.

[Jack Carson]

Yes.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Well, Ms. Ryan said they were looking for a man who was honest and reliable and very intelligent. So I suggested you.

[Arthur Treacher]

The child is so young.

[Jack Carson]

Preacher, please. I'm very flattered that you said all of that. Honey, you really think I am all of those things?

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Oh, I should say so. I think you're the smartest man in the whole world.

[Arthur Treacher]

She is young, isn't she?

[Jack Carson]

Preacher, you know that Ms. Ryan gets some of the silliest ideas. Now, why should she take it on herself to put my name up for public office? I can't get mixed up in a thing like this. I go over to Ms. Ryan's now and talk to her.

[Tugwell]

I'll go with you, Uncle Jack.

[Jack Carson]

Okay. So long, honey. I'll see you later. You know, Tugwell, Ms. Ryan is a Sweet woman. And I hate to hurt her feelings, but in some things, a man has got to be firm. Come on, we'll go in. I don't see her any place. Oh, yes, there she is, putting away some books on the shelf. Hello there, Ms. Ryan.

[Irene Ryan]

What? Oh, hello there, Mr. Carson. And Tugwell, too?

[Jack Carson]

Yes, we just thought we'd drop in. How, how are you feeling?

[Irene Ryan]

Oh, I guess I'm about as well as can be expected.

[Jack Carson]

Yes, I. Well, what I came over to talk.

[Irene Ryan]

To you about, I don't know. It just seems like I'm tired all the time.

[Jack Carson]

That's too bad. But when I came to talk to.

[Irene Ryan]

You about, I just never seem to have any energy. Of course, one reason I'm so tired is because most of the books are upstairs. And it seems everybody who comes in wants a book that's up there. And I just go up and down those stairs.

[Jack Carson]

Well, I.

[Irene Ryan]

Down and up and up and down and down and up all day.

[Jack Carson]

Well, I, I'm very sorry to hear that, Ms. Ryan. Really very sorry indeed.

[Irene Ryan]

Down and up, down and down and up.

[Tugwell]

Hey, can't you stop her, Uncle Jack?

[Jack Carson]

I'll try to head her off at the mezzanine. Look, Ms. Ryan, I, I, I know you work very hard, and it is unfortunate you have to do so much walking between floors.

[Irene Ryan]

Well, there's no other way. I have to go up there, and once I'm up there, I have to get back down again.

[Tugwell]

Well, why don't you put in a brass pole like the firemen use?

[Irene Ryan]

I thought of that. But I blister so easy.

[Jack Carson]

Ms. Ryan. Ms. Ryan, I came over here to talk to you about there's business of my being a candidate for public office.

[Irene Ryan]

Oh, yes, it's all going to be so wonderful.

[Jack Carson]

Now, see here, I want it clearly understood that I am not interested in this.

[Irene Ryan]

Mr. Carson. This community is all run down and the people need somebody for a leader.

[Jack Carson]

Well, that may be true, Ms. Ryan.

[Irene Ryan]

But I don't think I knew that you were the one for the job when I saw your picture. Two Guys from Milwaukee.

[Jack Carson]

Well, I don't see what that. Oh, it's. Did you like the picture?

[Irene Ryan]

Oh, yes. You were the cab driver.

[Jack Carson]

Yeah.

[Irene Ryan]

And when you made that speech about democracy, you were wonderful. You made me feel so good.

[Jack Carson]

I did?

[Irene Ryan]

Yes, I just cried and cried.

[Jack Carson]

Gosh, you really must have been carried away.

[Irene Ryan]

Oh, I was. In fact, I left the theater and walked a couple of blocks, and then I turned around and went back to.

[Jack Carson]

The theater again to see the picture again, huh?

[Irene Ryan]

No, I left my shoes under the sea, but I couldn't get them back on. Anyway, when I cry, my feet always swell up.

[Jack Carson]

Ms. Lang, don't get me wrong. I'm very flattered that you considered me a fit person for public office, but I'm afraid I'll have to turn it down.

[Irene Ryan]

But, Mr. Carson, this is not a matter of personal feeling. It's a matter of public service.

[Jack Carson]

What do you mean?

[Irene Ryan]

Well, a lot of people saw that picture and heard you make that speech on democracy. And what you said is just how they feel.

[Jack Carson]

Well, I feel that way about America, too.

[Irene Ryan]

Well, that's all we need, isn't it? A man who is sincere.

[Jack Carson]

Maybe you're right, Ms. Ryan. I. I have a lot of qualifications for a public servant. And who knows? I might make a better politician than I am an actor.

[Irene Ryan]

Eas. Will you go through it, Mr. Carson? Well, I. I'll tell you what. I know Mr. Gibbs, the head of the election committee, and I'll send him over to your house for a nice discussion.

[Jack Carson]

Well, all right, Ms. Ryan, we can talk about it at least. See you later. Just look at that broken street light over there, Tugwell. It's been in that condition for a year at least.

[Tugwell]

Oh, what about it?

[Jack Carson]

What about it? That's the condition of everything in this community. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that a good man in office could do a lot.

[Tugwell]

Hey, here comes Mr. Charbet.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, yeah. Hello, Del.

[Freddie Martin]

Hello there, Jack. Hi, Tugwell.

[Jack Carson]

Hey, Del. Del, I'd like to test out your reaction to something. I'm thinking of running for public office.

[Tugwell]

Yeah, Uncle Jack's liable to become famous, you know, like Thomas Jefferson or Senator Claghorn.

[Jack Carson]

Just think, Del, people might even put a silver plaque on the side of the house where I was born saying jack Carson slept here.

[Tugwell]

You mean like that plaque in Kansas City at the Tower Theater that says Jack Carson died here?

[Jack Carson]

I think I'll ignore that remark, Douglas.

[Freddie Martin]

Well, Jack, in case you do run for office, I've got a great idea for your campaign platform.

[Jack Carson]

You have, Dell, what is it?

[Freddie Martin]

Well, you'd like to be a benefactor of the people, wouldn't you?

[Jack Carson]

Sure, sure.

[Freddie Martin]

Well, you know how hard it is nowadays to buy anything new.

[Jack Carson]

Yes, yes.

[Freddie Martin]

Well, my idea will enable just about everybody. Everybody to buy something new tomorrow.

[Jack Carson]

What is it, Dell? A new car?

[Freddie Martin]

Oh, better. The.

[Jack Carson]

Maybe a new washing machine?

[Freddie Martin]

Oh, better than that, Dell.

[Jack Carson]

You couldn't possibly mean.

[Freddie Martin]

Yes, yes, I do. It's the season's new pack of Campbell's Tomato Soup at your grocer's. Now, chances are because of recent shortages, you haven't been able to have Campbell's tomato soup lately. But now you can't.

[Jack Carson]

Oh my gosh, this is sensational. What a platform. Well, I'll get the vote of every housewife in this country.

[Freddie Martin]

Right, Jack? And as the housewife goes, so goes the nation. Already crowds of people are flocking to their grocers to see those red and white label cans of the new pack. Campbell's tomato soup. Made from sun ripened tomatoes, chock full of luscious flavor. Mmm, good.

[Tugwell]

Hey, make them stop. Uncle Jack, I haven't had any lunch yet.

[Jack Carson]

Getting a little hungry myself. I know how to go Your plan one better and it will help my election campaign too. Why, with hundreds of thousands of shoppers buying that new packed Camel's tomato soup, wouldn't it be swell if my picture was on every can?

[Tugwell]

Oh, Uncle Jack, this is tomato soup with your picture on it. People might think it's mock turtle.

[Jack Carson]

Tugwell. Sometimes your efforts at humor are very uncomfortable.

[Freddie Martin]

Well, Jack, if you do decide to run for office, let me know if I can help you in any way.

[Jack Carson]

Well, thanks, Del, a lot.

[Freddie Martin]

And say, if you meet anybody on the way home, be sure and tell them that their grocer now has the new pack and it's time to stock up on Campbell's tomato soup.

[Jack Carson]

Okay, I'll do that. So long, Del.

[Freddie Martin]

We welcome back the inimitable Freddie Martin and the Martin men in five minutes. Give me five minutes more Only five minutes more Let me stay let me stay in your arms Here am I begging for only five minutes more Only five minutes more of your charm now all week long I dream about our Saturday date Don't you know that Sunday morning you can sleep late Give me five minutes more Only five minutes more Let me stay let me stay in.

[Jack Carson]

Your arms.

[Arthur Treacher]

Mr. Carson, you're not really serious about running for public office, are you?

[Jack Carson]

Well, I haven't quite made up my mind yet.

[Arthur Treacher]

I counsel a sir. You know, politics are in such a state right now that people are all confused.

[Jack Carson]

That's just it. If I ran, I couldn't possibly confuse the people any more than they are now.

[Arthur Treacher]

I don't know, sir. I have great faith in your ability.

[Jack Carson]

Preacher. Don't belittle me. You know everything is too complicated these days. What the people want is a return to simple fundamentals, A simple way of living.

[Arthur Treacher]

That sounds fine, sir, but what would you do about the food and the housing shortage, for instance?

[Jack Carson]

Housing shortage? Listen, When I get through, there will be no food or housing shortage. In fact, I might make that a campaign slogan. A chicken in every pot and two.

[Tugwell]

Families in every garage.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, no, no.

[Arthur Treacher]

I don't see why we're all becoming so perturbed about this, sir. After all, if this Mr. Gibbs that Ms. Ryan is bringing over doesn't approve of you, you won't be on the ballot anyway.

[Jack Carson]

Tricher, you can't possibly be intimating that he won. You won't approve of me? You've known me a long time. I'll leave it to you. Am I not sincere and honest?

[Freddie Martin]

Yes, sir.

[Jack Carson]

And if I were elected, am I the kind of a man who would try to corrupt people by offering them money?

[Arthur Treacher]

Oh, no, sir. You've never tried it with me. And I corrupt very easily.

[Jack Carson]

We'll discuss that another time. As far as Mr. Gibbs is concerned and my chances of being on the ballot, you're both in for quite a surprise. Just wait till he gets it. Why, I bet he'll be begging me to run. Yeah, I think I'll play hard to get for a while. Then after he's pleaded with me for a while, I'll graciously give in.

[Tugwell]

This I gotta see.

[Jack Carson]

Sometimes I feel that you underestimate your uncle. There's a time in the affairs of man to take in.

[Arthur Treacher]

I'll go, sir.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Carson live here?

[Freddie Martin]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Gibbs is the name. Gibbs? The Chairman of the First District Political Board.

[Jack Carson]

Oh. Come in. Mr. Gibbs, I. I've been expecting you, miss. Ms. Ryan told me that you were going to drop by and sort of talked me into allowing my name to head up the ballot.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Well, I. I don't know what Ms. Ryan told you. She gets things a little balled up. That's off the record, of course, but as the district chairman, I am personally opposed to any inexperienced novice or rank amateur being put up as a party candidate.

[Jack Carson]

Mr. Gibbs.

[Tugwell]

Stay in there. Uncle Jack. You've got him pleading.

[Jack Carson]

Mr. Gibbs, did I understand you to say that I am an inexperienced amateur?

[Mr. Gibbs]

That is what I said, and you can quote me.

[Jack Carson]

But Ms. Ryan said.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Ms. Ryan is a dreamer. Whereas I am a very practical man. And do you think for one moment that I am going to put the future of the party in the hands of a person with no political background.

[Jack Carson]

But I thought.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Have you ever been elected to any office of importance?

[Jack Carson]

Importance? Well, I.

[Tugwell]

Uncle Jack was Assistant Troopmaster of the Gopher Scouts. And he got a merit badge for trapping two field mice.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Carson. Carson, don't think that there's anything Personal in my deciding against you. But we need a politician. Now, now, now, you may have other qualifications. They tell me you're a fair actor. Don't quote me on that. That's off the record, of course. But as for your political.

[Jack Carson]

Mr. Gibbs, in the first place, I didn't want to run for your old office. It was somebody else's idea. In the second place, I don't like your tone of voice to your whole attitude. Who do you think you're talking to anyway? The village idiot?

[Arthur Treacher]

Is that off or on the record?

[Jack Carson]

You keep. Just keep out of this.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Now, you listen here.

[Jack Carson]

You listen to me. I'm not finished yet. You object to me because I'm not a politician. All right, I'm not a politician. But I know plenty of people high up in public affairs. And for your information, I carry a lot of influence in this community.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Well, that is a question which I am not.

[Jack Carson]

I'll get it.

[Arthur Treacher]

Hello? Oh, it's for you, Mr. Carson. I think it's Mr. Truman.

[Jack Carson]

Mr. Truman? Truman? Yes, of course, Mr. Truman.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Why, good gosh, Truman.

[Jack Carson]

Harold, Hello.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Worry.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, hello, Harry. What's that? Chopsticks. That's in the key of C. You're welcome. Goodbye.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Good. Good heavens, Carson, I had no idea your influence extended so high.

[Jack Carson]

That Chopsticks is a swell tune, but I wish Harry wouldn't tackle those tough numbers.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Uh, Carson, in view of these new developments, that is to say, your connections with important people, I'd like to you to reconsider my decision.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, no, you don't. It's a little too late for that, Mr. Gibbs.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Now, hold on, I. I think I may be able to find a place for you, Carson.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, no, you don't. I wouldn't run on your ballot if you begged me. But, Carson, I accept the nomination. What? Jim, what sort of an office is it?

[Mr. Gibbs]

Well, no, it couldn't be called the most important post on the ticket. But we must remember that humble beginnings lead to glorious things. That big oaks from little acorns grow.

[Jack Carson]

What's the job?

[Mr. Gibbs]

First Assistant municipal dog meat inspector.

[Jack Carson]

What? Do I look like the kind of a man who inspects dog meat?

[Mr. Gibbs]

Well, frankly, no. But I think we might convince the people.

[Jack Carson]

Listen to me, Mr. Gibbs. If you think for one minute that I, Jack Carson, would come in.

[Irene Ryan]

Hello, Mr. Carson. Oh, hello, Mr. Gibbs.

[Jack Carson]

Hello, Ms. Ryan. Hello, Mama.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

J. Hello.

[Irene Ryan]

Oh, I do hope you and Mr. Gibbs had a lovely meeting.

[Jack Carson]

Lovely meeting? You know what he had the nerve to offer me job as dog meat inspector.

[Irene Ryan]

Oh, dear, I don't understand. This at all. Wait till the committee hears about this.

[Tugwell]

Yeah, wait till the dogs hear about it.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Arsenal. I'll give you 24 hours to make your decision. I've got to be going now. I'm a very busy man. Good night.

[Jack Carson]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Mr. Gibbs]

Good night, Mr. Carson.

[Jack Carson]

What a fresh guy. For two cents, I'd have punched him right in his first district.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

What are you going to do, Mr. Carson?

[Jack Carson]

Well, it looks like I'm beaten, honey. I can't buck that political machine.

[Irene Ryan]

Oh, dear. This puts me in quite a spot. You see, I've already been campaigning for you.

[Jack Carson]

You have?

[Irene Ryan]

Yes. I told the girls at my club that you would be a candidate and they were very enthusiastic. They were behind you 99%.

[Jack Carson]

99%? You mean there was someone there that didn't want me? Yes.

[Irene Ryan]

Gladys Mulkey voted against you. But she's such a silly girl. She's right at that giddy age. 47.

[Jack Carson]

Oh, well, gee, I'd hate to let them down, Mr. Ryan.

[Arthur Treacher]

Carson, why should you? After all, there's no reason why you can't run on an independent ticket.

[Jack Carson]

Independent?

[Arthur Treacher]

Yes, sir. Only a few minutes ago you were saying the people need a return to the less complicated way of living. Did you really mean that? Or were you, as they say, just shooting off your mouth?

[Jack Carson]

Well, I meant it, preacher. I wasn't shooting anything. The public is tired of red tape and regulations. They want a man who stands for the things that are basic and simple.

[Irene Ryan]

That's right. And where are they going to find anybody who's more simple than you are? Oh, dear, I didn't mean that. Quite the way it sounds.

[Jack Carson]

Yes. Ryan, I'm going through with this thing. The Carsons were never quitters. I'll announce my candidacy tomorrow, and my platform will be one word. Simplicity.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Hooray.

[Jack Carson]

Thank you, honey. Thank you. Now all I need is a campaign song. Something catchy.

[Irene Ryan]

How about the Best Things in Life Are Free? How about the one you were playing.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

On the piano this morning?

[Jack Carson]

Say, Norma Jean? That's the one. That song is perfect.

[Irene Ryan]

How does it go?

[Jack Carson]

Listen to this. I don't believe in fretting and grieving why mess around with strife? I never was Cut out two step and strut out Give me the simple life Some find it pleasant Dining on pheasant those things roll off my knife Just serve me tomatoes and mashed potatoes Give me the simple life A cottage small is all I'm after Not one that's spacious and wide A house that rings with joy and laughter and the ones you love inside Some like the high road I like the low road Free from the care and stride Sounds corny and seedy but yes, indeedy Give.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

Me the simple life Living, I find is best when your mind is keen as a carving knife I'm crazy about sleep can't do without sleep Give us.

[Jack Carson]

The simple life now I love to whittle and play a little tune on a 10 cent fire I don't aim to worry hustle or hurry Give us.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

The simple light I greet the dawn when I awaken the sky is clear.

[Jack Carson]

Up above I like my scrambled eggs and bacon Served by someone that I love Some like the high road I like the low road Free from the.

[Norma Jean Nielsen]

The care and stride Sounds corny and.

[Jack Carson]

Seedy but yes, indeed Give us the simple line.

[Freddie Martin]

Jack Carson will be back in just a moment. Right now, there's good news waiting at your grocery store. Yes, sir. The new pack Campbell's Tomato Soup is in. So if you haven't been able to find this favorite soup lately, why, just look for it tomorrow. And stock up on the soup your family like best. I'm betting they do. For Campbell's Tomato Soup, you know, is the soup most folks like best. That goes for me, too. Well, I can get hungry anytime just thinking about those plump sun ripened tomatoes almost bursting their smooth jackets with luscious flavor. Blend it into a satin smooth puree with fine table butter and a touch of seasoning.

[Jack Carson]

Mmm.

[Freddie Martin]

Good. You bet. It's extra fine tomatoes and Campbell's exclusive recipe that make Campbell's Tomato Soup taste so downright delicious. How about bright platefuls at supper tomorrow? Serve it perhaps with milk added as an extra delicious cream of tomato. Remember, your grocer now has the new pack, and it's time to stock up on Campbell's Tomato Soup.

[Jack Carson]

M good.

[Freddie Martin]

M Good. That's what Campbell's Soups are, good.

[Jack Carson]

Well, that about ties it up for tonight, folks, except for a rather important announcement I have to make. It's about a gal from Milwaukee this time instead of a guy. She's joining our Campbell soup family over these very same stations next Sunday night. You all know her name. It's Hildegard. The incomparable Hildegard, they call her. From Milwaukee to Paris to New York, we Milwaukee folks sure get around. Anyway, you'll love her. I know. Good luck, Hilly. We'll be listening for you.

[Freddie Martin]

Yes, listen in on Sunday for the Campbell Room, starring Hildegard. Her guest this week will be Tallulah Bankhead, Bert Lahr, and the pride of the Brooklyn Dodgers Dixie Walker. And don't forget, we'd like to have you stop in again next Wednesday at 22 North Hollywood Lane to find out if Jack's really serious about running for office. Who knows? Something might really happen from all this.

[Jack Carson]

Good.

[Freddie Martin]

Good. That's what Campbell soups are good. This is cbs, the Columbia broadcast.

[Jack Carson]

It.