
Let George Do It 1946-10-04 (003) Kleptomaniac
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Announcer
Your neighborhood Chevron gas station invites you.
George Valentine
To Let George do it.
Announcer
Brought to you by the makers of Chevron Supreme Gasoline and RPM Motor Oil.
George Valentine
George Valentine.
Announcer
Yes, George Valentine, fresh out of uniform and eager to put his many talents to work as well as to earn a living, ran an ad in the local paper. Do you have a crime that needs solving? Do you have a dog that needs walking? Have you a wife that needs spanking? Let George do it. His ad attracted several clients. Some who paid him a fee and some who paid him nothing. His secretary, Claire Brooks, worries about the mounting pile of bills. The but George, as he sits in his office with his feet on his desk, is occupied with more important matters.
George Valentine
Claire, I wonder, do you think I could find any sardines?
Claire Brooks
Oh, I'll send Sonny out. Sardine on rye?
George Valentine
Oh, no, no, not a sandwich. Bait.
Mrs. Harrington
Bait.
Claire Brooks
What do you want? To catch a fish. Mr. Valentine, you can't afford a fishing trip.
George Valentine
Yeah, but if I get a client before Friday, a nice simple case, you know, somebody wants me to find their uncle or lose their mother in law. Just a few quick bucks and I'm on my way.
Claire Brooks
You can't afford a fishing trip?
George Valentine
I'm sitting back in the rowboat. I haven't a care in the world. Just soaking up the sun. All of a sudden, wham. Then another wham. Mr. Ballantyle, I got a bite.
Claire Brooks
What is it, Sonny?
George Valentine
Yes, Sonny, what is it? Halibut, swordfish? Yellowtail?
Sonny
Mrs. Harrington. Isabel Harrington. James Harrington's wife.
George Valentine
There, you see, I did catch my fish. I told you, sardine's the best bait in the world.
Sonny
Hey, sis. Is he feeling all right?
Claire Brooks
It's normal for him. Send her in, Sonny.
Mrs. Harrington
Okay.
Claire Brooks
Now remember, Mr. Valentine, she's the Mrs. Harrington.
George Valentine
Yeah, I got you.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Oh, come in, Mrs. Harrington. Come right on in. Oh, sit here. You'll be more comfortable.
Mrs. Harrington
Thank you. Thank you.
George Valentine
Uh huh. This is my secretary, Claire Brooks. But don't let her upset you. She knows all the skeletons. Intimately.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, how charming. Mr. Valentine, I've been trying to get up enough nerve to come here.
George Valentine
Well, you just go right ahead and open up and talk.
Claire Brooks
Nothing goes out of this office and nothing comes in.
Mrs. Harrington
I'm afraid it's someone. Someone close to me may get into trouble. Oh, Mr. Valentine, I want you to watch that person every minute of the day. Do you understand?
George Valentine
Well, now, wait a minute. What kind of trouble?
Mrs. Harrington
Well, you see. Oh, it's so humiliating. This person picks up things.
George Valentine
Picks up? Oh, kleptomaniac.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, Mr. Valentine, I can't go on.
George Valentine
Oh, now, Mr. Yang.
Mrs. Harrington
No, please, later. Have lunch with me. Two o' clock at the Savoy.
George Valentine
Oh, but Mrs. Harrington, please be there. A kleptomaniac, huh? Must be her husband.
Claire Brooks
Her husband? Mr. Valentine?
George Valentine
Yes.
Claire Brooks
Don't look now, but your fountain pen is missing.
George Valentine
Well, look, Mrs. Harrington, the food is fine and the company excellent, but what do you say we get down to cases? Give me back my fountain pen.
Mrs. Harrington
Your. Your fountain pen.
Claire Brooks
Look in your purse, Mrs. Harrington.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh. Oh, then you know everything. Well, I'll be quite frank. I'm under a doctor's care. He expects to cure me in a month or two. But meanwhile, my husband is running for alderman.
George Valentine
Oh, I see. Does your husband know that you pick up things?
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, no. Oh, no. And you must never find out. Oh, please, please. Promise.
Claire Brooks
Oh, don't worry, Mrs. Henry.
Mrs. Harrington
You see, Nelvin Gordon is running against my husband. You know Mr. Gordon.
Claire Brooks
Gordon's Department Store, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Oh, yes, yes. Well, just forget about it, Mrs. Harrington. The election is tomorrow and I'll stay with you until your husband's elected alderman.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, Mr. Valentine, if you'll protect me for myself, I'll pay you well, I promise.
George Valentine
Oh, well, we'll discuss that later. Now, suppose you run along home and I'll be there this afternoon.
Mrs. Harrington
That's wonderful. I have a little shopping to attend to and then I'll go straight home.
George Valentine
Oh, good. That's fine. See you later.
Mrs. Harrington
Goodbye.
George Valentine
Bye. Well, how about that, Claire? I'm going home and pack my rod and real.
Claire Brooks
Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Oh, I can just taste those fish.
Claire Brooks
Mr. Valentine. She went shopping.
George Valentine
Yeah, I know she did. She shopping? Claire, let's get out of here.
Mrs. Harrington
Why?
Claire Brooks
Come here. What makes you think she shops in Gordon's Department Store?
George Valentine
Because she'd be in most danger here. You heard her. Gordon is running against her husband for alderman.
Claire Brooks
Still I. Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Where?
Claire Brooks
There. Compact. Compact, Straight ahead.
George Valentine
Oh, what's she got in her hand?
Claire Brooks
Gold compact.
George Valentine
Uh huh.
Claire Brooks
With stones.
George Valentine
How much?
Mrs. Harrington
About $50. Oh.
Announcer
Oh, could you see that in her pocket?
George Valentine
Come on.
Claire Brooks
What are you gonna do?
George Valentine
Well, you look at compacts and stay close to me. You got it?
Claire Brooks
But Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Do as I say.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, all right.
George Valentine
Well, hello there, Mrs. Harrington.
Mrs. Harrington
Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Yes. Lovely store, isn't it?
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, yes. I've often told Mr. Gordon that he can be proud. I beg your pardon, madam, but may I have that compact? A compact? What compact? The one you were looking at, madam. Oh, well, I decided against it, miss. Oh, that's quite all right, madam, but where is it? Why, I Put it back on the counter. Of course it isn't on the counter.
George Valentine
Oh, well, now, young lady, I distinctly saw Mrs. Harrington put it back on the counter. Yes, I said hello to her. She put the compact down.
Mrs. Harrington
All I know is it isn't here. I think I ought to call the store detective. Oh, no, no, don't do that. He'll take you upstairs to have a little talk with Mr. Gordon. Mr. Gordon.
George Valentine
Now, now, wait a minute.
Mrs. Harrington
The compact isn't here, mister.
George Valentine
Oh, well, why not search that young lady there? What?
Mrs. Harrington
Who, me?
George Valentine
Yeah, look in her pocket.
Claire Brooks
Why, you. Did you. Oh, it is in my pocket.
Mrs. Harrington
Well, come on, miss. Mr. Gordon will want to talk to you.
George Valentine
Mrs. Harrington, go home.
Mrs. Harrington
Beat it. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, I will. Come on, miss, this way. And don't make any trouble.
George Valentine
No, no, miss. Don't make any trouble.
Mrs. Harrington
Why, you.
George Valentine
You.
Announcer
No, no, no.
Mr. Gordon
You're wasting your time, young man.
George Valentine
But, Mr. Gordon, there are too many.
Mr. Gordon
Things disappearing from my store. I'm going to make an example of this young woman, and I can't be talked out of it. Now, you get that.
George Valentine
Mr. Gordon, are you married? I certainly am. Then you have a wife? I certainly do. Mr. Gordon, do you love your wife?
Mr. Gordon
Is the door closed?
George Valentine
Yes, I love my wife. Then. Then you must know how I feel.
Mr. Gordon
This girl is your wife.
Claire Brooks
Mr. Gordon, don't listen to him.
George Valentine
It's all right, Claire. In spite of everything you've done, I'm not ashamed of you. Oh, look, Mr. Gordon. Here's $50 for the compact. Does that cover it?
Mr. Gordon
I guess I'll.
George Valentine
Oh, I promise you it'll never happen again.
Mr. Gordon
All right, take her home.
George Valentine
Oh, thanks, Mr. Gordon, darling. Thank him.
Mrs. Harrington
Let me out of here.
George Valentine
Yes, darling, of course. Goodbye, Mr. Gordon.
Mr. Gordon
Good luck, young man.
George Valentine
Oh, Clara, listen.
Mrs. Harrington
I hate you. It was the dirtiest trick you've ever.
Claire Brooks
Played on me, and I hate you.
Sonny
You'll never get a chance to play.
Mrs. Harrington
Another trick because I quit. Understand? I definitely quit. And I definitely hate you.
George Valentine
Oh, Claire, honey. Now, look, you like your job. I know you do. Now, forget it, darling. It's just part of the game. Now, come on, wipe your eyes and powder your nose. Here, use the compact. And just to show you the kind of a man I am, you can keep it.
Claire Brooks
Now what?
George Valentine
Now we go back to the office, and then I'll go to the Harringtons.
Claire Brooks
Don't think I'm going to forget this In a hurry, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Oh, be a good girl and I'll bring you back a halibut.
Claire Brooks
Someone's trying to attract your attention in that car.
George Valentine
Oh, it's Mrs. Harrington. Mrs. Harrington, I told you to go home.
Mrs. Harrington
Well, I'm going now, Mr. Valentine. I was worried about Ms. Brooks.
George Valentine
Oh, well, everything's fine.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, you were superb, Mr. Valentine. And whatever my bill will be, I want you to double it.
George Valentine
Well, thanks a lot. Now, go on home.
Mrs. Harrington
I'll be expecting you. Goodbye.
George Valentine
Goodbye.
Claire Brooks
Don't laugh, Mr. Valentine. Maybe you don't believe in a woman's instinct, but I wish you'd drop this case. I have a feeling that. Mr. Valentine. What are you doing with that fur scarf?
George Valentine
She did it again.
Claire Brooks
A silver fox.
George Valentine
Claire, think. Was she wearing a silver fox when we had lunch with her or while she was shopping?
Claire Brooks
Oh, no, I couldn't have missed it.
George Valentine
I noticed it in the car just now while we were talking to her. She must have picked it up when we were with Gordon.
Claire Brooks
A silver fox. Oh, call her back, Mr. Valentine. Make her take care of it.
George Valentine
Well, now, don't get excited. Why should I worry? A good client.
Claire Brooks
But, Mr. Valentine, I have a feeling.
George Valentine
Will you forget that you're a woman and that you've got an instinct? Come on, we'll go back to the office.
Claire Brooks
With the silver fox.
George Valentine
With the silver fox. Come on.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, all right.
Claire Brooks
But I've got a feeling. Oh, my feet are killing me. The least you could have done was to hail a cab.
George Valentine
I just put out 50 bucks for that compact. Only one more block, Mr. Valentine.
Claire Brooks
It's sunny.
George Valentine
Well, why did you leave the office?
Sonny
I've been looking all over for you.
George Valentine
What's up?
Sonny
Mrs. Harrington phoned.
George Valentine
Yeah?
Sonny
She says when you go out to her house this evening, don't worry if you bump into a cop.
George Valentine
A cop?
Sonny
It seems that last year on her birthday, her husband gave her an animal to drape around her neck. And somebody stole it this afternoon out of her car.
George Valentine
Say that again, sonny, and slowly.
Sonny
Somebody stole her first scarf. It was a silver fox, black, with.
Mrs. Harrington
Hey.
Claire Brooks
Hey.
Sonny
Like that. You've got it.
George Valentine
Yep, I've got it, Mr. Valentine.
Claire Brooks
What are you gonna do with it?
George Valentine
Take it to Mrs. Harrington.
Sonny
But there might be a cop around her house.
George Valentine
Well, I'll. I'll sneak by him. I'll find a cab. We'll go right out there. Here, Claire.
Mrs. Harrington
What?
George Valentine
Meanwhile, wear it around your neck.
Claire Brooks
No, thank you. I'm not wearing any hot fox. It's not fashionable this season.
George Valentine
Then here, sonny. Wind it around your head, huh? You know, like Daniel Boone.
Sonny
I don't want to be Daniel Boone.
George Valentine
Then be Buffalo Bill. I don't want to be Buffalo Bill, sonny.
Sonny
I want to be Van Johnson.
George Valentine
Never mind. I'll stuff it inside my shirt.
Claire Brooks
Mr. Valentine. I've got a feeling, sweetheart.
George Valentine
Shut up, will you? Here comes the cab. Hey, taxi.
Mrs. Harrington
Mr. Valentine, wait.
George Valentine
Taxi. Come on.
Claire Brooks
It's a police car.
George Valentine
It Police.
Officer Flynn
Can I do something for you, sir?
George Valentine
Oh, I, I, I beg your pardon, Officer. I, I thought I was hailing a taxi.
Officer Flynn
Oh, no, it's quite all right, sir. Very understandable.
George Valentine
Can I give you a left? Oh, no, no, no. I, I wouldn't think of troubling you.
Officer Flynn
No trouble. No trouble at all. Step right in, sir.
George Valentine
Oh, no, Officer, I, I, I just can't let you do it. But thanks anyway. Goodbye.
Officer Flynn
Would you mind telling me your name?
George Valentine
My name? Valentine. George Valentine.
Officer Flynn
Mr. Valentine, pardon me for mentioning it, but what is that sticking out of your shirt?
George Valentine
My shirt? Oh, you mean my, my, my pet. Yeah, my pet. I always carry him close to me. Pet? Pet?
Officer Flynn
What?
George Valentine
Well, it's your gopher. That's it. My pet gopher.
Officer Flynn
Strange. First time I ever saw a gopherous polyphemus with a bushy tail.
Announcer
Gopher is polyphemous gopher.
George Valentine
Oh, oh, yes, it's a gopher with the bushy tails. Oh. Well, you see, this is a funny sort of gopher. It's got a little squirrel in it.
Officer Flynn
I'm sorry to contradict you, sir.
George Valentine
Not squirrel. Vulpis fulvus. Vulpis fulvus. Fox. Silver fox.
Officer Flynn
Hop in, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
But officer.
Officer Flynn
And there's plenty of room, so bring your friends with you.
Announcer
How will George talk himself out of this predicament? And while George is pondering his problem, I'll take just a moment to tell you what occurred to me as I was driving to the studio this afternoon. I was thinking that every Chevron gas station should wear a sign reading local boy makes good for these cream green and burgundy Chevron stations you know are home owned. Generally, the Chevron dealer is a fellow who worked hard and in many cases learned the business from the ground up before he branched out for himself. Now he runs his own Chevron gas station. And you can bet your bottom dollar he's going to hustle to make it tick. That, of course, explains why the service is cheerful and willing and competent at Chevron gas stations. I'd like to see you get acquainted with a Chevron dealer in your neighborhood. You'll find that he's a nice fellow and and mighty glad to help you out anytime. He gives your car the best too. Climate tailored Chevron Supreme Gasoline and RPM compounded motor oil. Drop in at a Chevron gas station this weekend and see. Remember, your Chevron credit card is good as gold with any Chevron dealer. Well, it looks as if George is really in a jam this time. And with the law, too. Right now, George, Claire and Sonny are cruising along in a squad car. The officer is their chauffeur.
George Valentine
I tell you, you're making a big mistake, Officer.
Officer Flynn
Maybe so, sir, but they told me at the station to be on the lookout for a vulpis fulvus silver fox.
Claire Brooks
May I congratulate you on your vocabulary, Officer?
Officer Flynn
Thank you very much. And may I congratulate you on your punctitude?
Sonny
What'd you say she was cute.
George Valentine
Oh. Oh.
Officer Flynn
Now, take the glove compartment in my car. Now, most people would keep cigarettes in there. What would you keep in it?
George Valentine
Map, lipstick, bicarbonate of soda.
Officer Flynn
Well, I got it filled with books. You know, books. Pocket edition.
George Valentine
Oh, look, officer, if you'll just take us to Mrs. Harrington. She's very absent minded. She forgot that she asked me to take care of her silver fox.
Officer Flynn
I'm sorry, sir, but I'm taking you to the station.
Sonny
Cheapers. Officer, give us a break.
Officer Flynn
I'm sorry, son. I'm taking you to the station, Officer.
Claire Brooks
Now, Officer.
George Valentine
Okay, I'll take you to the Harringtons.
Officer Flynn
There doesn't seem to be anyone at home.
George Valentine
I know Mrs. Harrington is home. I told her to stay home.
Claire Brooks
Wait a minute. There's someone coming.
Officer Flynn
Now, if you don't mind, I'll handle this in my own way.
Mrs. Harrington
Yes. Oh. Oh.
George Valentine
What's wrong, Mrs. Harrington?
Officer Flynn
I said I'd handle this. Mrs. Harrington, may we please come in?
Mrs. Harrington
Yes. Yes, of course.
Officer Flynn
Thank you. Mrs. Harrington, it's about your vulpis office.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, there must be some mistake, Officer. There's no one here by that name.
George Valentine
He means your silver fox.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh. Oh, the servants are out. I'll have to answer the phone.
Officer Flynn
Go right ahead, Mrs. Harrington. Maybe I shouldn't mention this, but she doesn't appear to be a close friend of yours, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
You didn't give her a chance to say anything.
Announcer
Well.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, there's a policeman in my house now.
George Valentine
Captain Wool.
Officer Flynn
You see. Captain Wool. Let me talk to him. Mrs. Harrington. Hello, this is Flint speaking. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Flint.
Mrs. Harrington
Mr. Valentine, what's wrong?
George Valentine
Get this. Mrs. Harrington, I have your scarf. I took it out of your car.
Mrs. Harrington
Why?
George Valentine
Well, I thought it was something you'd picked up.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, good heavens.
Officer Flynn
Well, I captured somebody already, Captain.
George Valentine
Now, it'll be all right. Just tell the officer that I'm a good friend of yours.
Officer Flynn
He has it on him.
Mrs. Harrington
If only my husband stays upstairs.
Claire Brooks
What's he got to do with it?
Mrs. Harrington
Well, I forgot to tell you. You see, my husband is very jealous.
George Valentine
Oh, great.
Officer Flynn
Thank you, Captain. Au revoir. Now then, Mrs. Harrington, is this man a dear friend of yours?
Mrs. Harrington
Well, you see.
Officer Flynn
Please, Mrs. Harrington, just answer the question.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh.
Officer Flynn
Is this man a dear friend of yours?
Mr. Harrington
Is who a dear friend of hers?
Mrs. Harrington
Oh. Oh, James. Officer, this is my husband, Mr. Harrington.
Mr. Harrington
Isabel, the officer asked you a question.
Officer Flynn
I caught him with the silver fox, Mr. Harrington. Here it is, sir.
Mr. Harrington
Just a moment, officer. Isabel, is this man a dear friend of yours?
George Valentine
Why, yes. Why, yes.
Mrs. Harrington
Why, I never saw him before in my life.
George Valentine
Oh, jeepers.
Mr. Harrington
Take them away, Officer. We'll be down later to prepare charges.
Officer Flynn
Thank you, sir. Sorry to have bothered you, Mrs. Harrington.
Claire Brooks
Good, officer.
George Valentine
Honey, be quiet.
Officer Flynn
Come on, let's go.
George Valentine
Officer, will you please listen to me.
Officer Flynn
Once and for all? Mr. Valentine, I'm taking you to the station.
George Valentine
But if you just give me.
Claire Brooks
Now, don't try to talk your way out of it, Mr. Valentine. He's got you with the goods, Claire. A compact or a fur scarf. What's the difference? After all, we've got to protect our client, haven't we? So forget it, darling. It's just part of the game.
Sonny
Claire.
Claire Brooks
When do they allow visitors, Officer?
Officer Flynn
Usually Monday.
Claire Brooks
Then I'll see you Monday, Mr. Valentine. Oh, and I'll bring you a halibut.
George Valentine
Go ahead, rub it in.
Claire Brooks
Goodbye, Mr. Valentine. Take care of him, Officer. Sonny, say goodbye to him.
Officer Flynn
Just a minute, miss. I'm sorry to be disagreeable, but I found all three of you together. Therefore, I'm turning all three of you in together. Now, come along, if you please.
Sonny
Jailbirds.
George Valentine
Cut it out, will you, Sonny.
Sonny
Jailbirds behind bars.
George Valentine
Well, we're just being detained until Mr. And Mrs. Harrington get here.
Sonny
Yeah, then they'll put us away for good. What do you suppose they did to my sister?
Claire Brooks
Poor Claire, She.
George Valentine
Poor Claire, my eye. She was glad it happened. Why, if she saw me now, she'd probably laugh out loud. Claire.
Sonny
Claire, where are you?
Claire Brooks
I'm your next door neighbor.
Mrs. Harrington
Could I borrow a cup of sugar?
George Valentine
Well, why didn't you tell us you were there?
Claire Brooks
I wanted to Listen to you, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Call me George. This is no time to be formal.
Claire Brooks
I thought maybe I'd hear you say you were sorry. That shows what a little fool I am.
George Valentine
Oh, well, Claire, listen. I'd give my right arm to have avoided this.
Claire Brooks
I Don't want your right arm. Just once, I'd like to hear you say it. I'm sorry.
George Valentine
Well, Claire, I, I.
Claire Brooks
Take your time. You've probably got five years.
George Valentine
Well, look, I'll tell him you two had nothing to do with this. And when you're out of here, if you're smart, you'll never see me again. You'll have nothing more to do with me. Will you promise? No, Claire.
Claire Brooks
I'd miss him.
George Valentine
Oh. Hey, you do like me, don't you?
Claire Brooks
Oh, I guess I do.
George Valentine
Then why didn't you smile at that copy to let us go?
Claire Brooks
Oh, now it's my fault.
Officer Flynn
Everybody all right? Everybody healthy and happy?
George Valentine
Oh, sure. Just one big happy family.
Sonny
Hey, he's unlocking our cell.
Officer Flynn
Just a minute, miss. I'll have you out, too.
Claire Brooks
Where are you going to take us, Officer?
Officer Flynn
Just follow me if you please, Mr. Valentine.
Sonny
Maybe it's an electric chair.
George Valentine
Now, take it easy.
Officer Flynn
Mrs. Harrington is here with Mr. Harrington. No, no, she's alone. Most intelligent woman, Mrs. Harrington. She's looking at my books. She's very interested in them.
George Valentine
Then you better lock them up. What? Just a chill.
Officer Flynn
Oh, yeah. Well, here they are, Mrs. Harrington.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, Mr. Valentine, will you ever be able to forgive me?
George Valentine
That depends.
Mrs. Harrington
I was just telling Officer Flynn how absent minded I am. I remember it all now. I was standing on the street and.
Officer Flynn
Well, you don't have to explain, Mrs. Harrington. You're not going to prefer charges against these people, are you?
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, no, no, of course not. Preposterous.
Officer Flynn
Then they're discharged.
Mrs. Harrington
We're free.
Officer Flynn
Very sorry to have bothered you, miss.
Claire Brooks
Oh, that's all right.
George Valentine
Goodbye, Officer.
Officer Flynn
Goodbye, sir. See you again sometime.
George Valentine
I hope not.
Claire Brooks
Goodbye, Officer.
Officer Flynn
Goodbye, miss. You will always remember. A glistening pearl in my treasure box of memory.
Sonny
Fresh air.
Mrs. Harrington
Mr. Valentine. Whatever my bill will be, I want you to double it.
George Valentine
What did you tell your husband?
Mrs. Harrington
Just what I told the officer.
George Valentine
Okay, now you're going home and I'll.
Mrs. Harrington
Stay there until the election is over tomorrow.
George Valentine
I know. We'll see to that. We're going with you.
Mrs. Harrington
What, all of us?
George Valentine
Yep, all of us. That's the only way we can keep her out of trouble. Come on, Mrs. Harrington, let's go home. George, I thought I told you to stay with Mrs. Harrington.
Claire Brooks
Sonny's with her. They're having breakfast. George, I'm bored.
George Valentine
Oh, now, forget it. With you, it'll soon be over.
Claire Brooks
George, I'm bored.
George Valentine
Oh, now, come on, Claire, cheer up. Let's have a big smile.
Claire Brooks
I don't feel like smiling.
George Valentine
Well, put some lipstick on. You'll feel better.
Claire Brooks
Guess I could stand a little. All this hanging around.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh.
Announcer
What's the matter?
Claire Brooks
She did it again. My lipstick's gone.
George Valentine
Oh, well, never mind. I'll buy another one.
Mrs. Harrington
Valentine.
Sonny
Okay if I run out and buy a magazine?
George Valentine
Sonny, you were left in charge of Mrs. Harrington.
Sonny
Yeah, but, Mr. Valentine, when you're left.
George Valentine
In charge, you're supposed to stay with her, understand? Wherever she goes, you'll follow her.
Sonny
Yeah, but I can't follow her everywhere.
George Valentine
Oh, well, all right. What time is it? My watch is always fast.
Sonny
Oh, mine keeps perfect time.
Claire Brooks
It's exactly.
George Valentine
Hey.
Mrs. Harrington
Hey.
George Valentine
Now what?
Mrs. Harrington
I know.
Sonny
I was wearing my watch.
George Valentine
Oh, never mind. I'll buy you another one.
Mrs. Harrington
Mr. Valentine.
Claire Brooks
Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Now, take it easy, Mrs. Harrington. What's wrong?
Mrs. Harrington
I was looking through my closet, and I found this. My silver fox.
George Valentine
Well, of course. Don't you remember? I have.
Mrs. Harrington
I don't mean that one. I mean this one.
George Valentine
This one?
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, don't you understand? There are two silver foxes in my closet.
Sonny
Suffer and cat.
Mrs. Harrington
Mr. Valentine, you were right all along. Oh, I must have picked it up.
George Valentine
Well, now, don't go to pieces. We haven't time for hysterics.
Mrs. Harrington
But that's not all. Mr. Gordon just phoned. He wants to see me immediately. Oh, Mr. Valor.
George Valentine
All right, Mrs. Harrington. Give me that silver fox. I'll handle Gordon.
Mr. Gordon
I knew all along Mrs. Harrington was guilty. After she shops, something always disappears.
George Valentine
Will you please calm down, Mr. Gordon? I brought back the silver fox.
Mr. Gordon
You can keep it.
George Valentine
Now, be reasonable. Look, when things disappear, you charge them to Mrs. Harrington's account, don't you?
Mr. Gordon
What's that got to do with Harrington's running against me for alderman? There's still time to get a story in this afternoon's paper. What do you think his chances will be then?
George Valentine
It'd be a dirty trick, Mr. Gordon.
Mr. Gordon
Look, Farthein, just between us, Harrington's the best man. He should be alderman. But if I'm made alderman, my wife will think I'm wonderful.
George Valentine
You'd wreck Mr. Harrington just to make your wife think you're wonderful?
Announcer
You bet I would, darling.
Officer Flynn
Mildred.
Mr. Gordon
Sweetheart. Come in. Oh, Sweetheart, this is Mr. Valentine and my wife, Mrs. Scott.
George Valentine
How do you do? Hello.
Sonny
Well, darling. Well, darling, is that all you have to say?
Claire Brooks
Hmm?
Mr. Gordon
Oh, you look wonderful, sweetheart.
George Valentine
I knew it.
Sonny
I'll never forgive you.
Mr. Gordon
Mildred Angel.
Sonny
Of course, A great big executive like you. So busy running a store and running for alderman. You haven't time to remember a little thing like a birthday, have you?
George Valentine
Birthday.
Mr. Gordon
Oh, Mildred. Are. Now, sweetheart.
Sonny
Oh, I should have known.
George Valentine
Oh, well, pardon me for cutting in. This is Gordon, but I can't keep. Keep my mouth shut. I. I know. It's supposed to be a surprise, too. A surprise?
Mr. Gordon
A surprise?
George Valentine
He didn't Forget your birthday, Mrs. Gordon.
Sonny
He didn't?
George Valentine
I didn't?
Mr. Gordon
I mean, I didn't.
George Valentine
Here you are. I just helped him select it for you.
Mrs. Harrington
A silver fox. Oh, darling. Oh, I'm going to give you a great big kiss.
George Valentine
Well, I'll run along. That is, unless you have something else to discuss, Mr. Gordon.
Mr. Gordon
Oh, no, no, not a thing.
Announcer
Good, good.
George Valentine
Happy birthday, Mrs. Gordon. I hope you'll enjoy the vulpus vulvus.
Claire Brooks
Why come back to the office, Mr. Valentine?
George Valentine
Well, after hanging around Mrs. Harrington for the last couple of days, I just wanted to be sure the office was still here.
Sonny
Well, we ought to go out and celebrate. After all, Mr. Harrington's an alderman.
George Valentine
Okay, sonny, run out and buy a.
Claire Brooks
Bucket of black coffee and a box of aspirin.
Sonny
Some celebration.
George Valentine
Go on, beat it.
Mrs. Harrington
Okay.
Claire Brooks
Well, I suppose I should congratulate you, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Well, she hasn't paid me yet.
Sonny
Hey, Mr. Valentine, Mr. And Mrs. Harrington are here.
George Valentine
Oh, no. All right, send them in.
Claire Brooks
Mr. Valentine, you're through with the case, understand?
George Valentine
But, Claire.
Claire Brooks
Either that or you're through with me.
Mr. Harrington
You see, Isabel, I told you he'd be here.
Mrs. Harrington
You were right, James.
Mr. Harrington
Mr. Valentine, my wife has told me everything.
George Valentine
Everything?
Mrs. Harrington
Everything. Yes. I simply had to.
Claire Brooks
I'm glad you did, Mrs. Harrington.
Mr. Harrington
We came to thank you for all that you've done for us, Mr. Valentine. And whatever the bill will be, I want you to double it.
George Valentine
Oh, wow. Thanks a lot.
Mr. Harrington
Send it to my office.
George Valentine
Oh, no need to bother you.
Mr. Harrington
Oh, it's no bother.
George Valentine
Well, I mean, mailing and all that. If you happen to have your checkbook with you.
Mr. Harrington
Checkbook?
George Valentine
No hurry, you understand. But if you want to sit right here at my desk. Oh, well, here you are. Here's a pen.
Mr. Harrington
Oh, thanks.
Mrs. Harrington
We just came from my doctor. He thinks I'm cured.
Claire Brooks
Really, Mrs. Harry?
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, yes, my dear. This last experience. I mean, James, career at stake and all right. Oh, it was such a shock. Well, it brought me back to earth again.
Claire Brooks
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Mr. Harrington
Here you are, Mr. Valentine. This okay?
George Valentine
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you, Mr. Harrington.
Mr. Harrington
Well, I'm the one who's indebted.
Mrs. Harrington
You'll come to see me, Ms. Brooke?
Claire Brooks
Of course, Mrs. Harrington.
Mrs. Harrington
And you too, Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Yep, you bet.
Mr. Harrington
Come, Isabel.
Mrs. Harrington
Yes, Dave. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Claire Brooks
Mrs. Harrington.
George Valentine
Good night. Good night. Good night. Well, Claire, I'm on my way. I'll pick up a can of sardines and my fishing tackles. See you Monday.
Claire Brooks
How much, Mr. Valentine?
George Valentine
$1,000.
Mrs. Harrington
What?
Claire Brooks
$1,000.
Mrs. Harrington
Oh, I don't believe it.
George Valentine
Well, then see for yourself. The check's right there.
Claire Brooks
Where? I don't see it.
George Valentine
Well, I distinctly remember. Put it right under that paperweight, you see?
Claire Brooks
No.
George Valentine
Well, go ahead and look. It's right under this. It's right it.
Claire Brooks
Mr. Valentine.
George Valentine
Oh, no. She did it again.
Announcer
George will be back in a meanwhile. A friend of mine owns the Chevron gas station down the street and he was telling me a story the other day. It seems a chap he knew came in when they were putting my friend's name on the canopy of his home owned station. Looks pretty nice, commented the chap. That certainly shows folks that you're the boss here. Not on your life, explained my friend. It means that they are the boss here. Well, the motorist didn't get it, so the Chevron dealer went on the new sign and the cream green and burgundy color scheme, he said, are simply to make it plain that I run my own station. Since I am in business for myself, how well I get along depends pretty much on how well I treat my customers. And that makes the customer strictly the boss at my Chevron gas station. Well, my friend might have said, at all Chevron gas stations because the friendliness, the cheerful, expert service you run into at Chevron gas stations is the best way any Chevron dealer has of making his home owned business useful to you and to the community. Well, next week George Valentine goes on a picnic. But instead of being bothered with the usual things like ants and rain, he has a new experience. You'll probably hear him saying something like this.
George Valentine
Wow. What was that? Who hit me?
Sonny
Somebody threw a shoe at you, Mr. Valentine. It came from that house.
George Valentine
Well, a lady's slipper. Hey, and a note with it.
Sonny
Let me see. It says, I am being held prisoner in this house. Please save me. Hey, it's written in lipstick.
George Valentine
Orange lipstick. Must be a blonde. See you later.
Announcer
Chevron gas stations all through the west invite you to be with us again next week for another chapter of Let George do it, brought to you by the makers of Chevron Supreme Gasoline. Let George do it, starring Robert Bailey as George, with Francis Robinson as Claire and Eddie Firestone Jr. As Sonny, is written by Pauline Hopkins, produced and directed by Owen Vinson. Others in the cast were Sarah Selby as Mrs. Harrington, Stanley Waxman as Mr. Harrington. Joe Gilbert as Mildred, Herbert Butterfield as Mr. Gordon, Ed Max as the officer and Margaret Brayton as the sales girl. The music was composed and conducted by Charles Dant. Your announcer, John Hen. Listen again next week, same time, same station, to Let George Do It. This is the Mutual Don Lee Broad Broadcasting System.
Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Let George Do It
Release Date: August 10, 2025
Original Air Date: October 4, 1946
Duration: 26 minutes, 38 seconds
Host/Author: Harolds Old Time Radio
"Let George Do It" centers around George Valentine, a resourceful and somewhat eccentric character who advertises his services to solve various personal and domestic issues. Set in the Golden Age of Radio, this episode delves into a comedic yet intriguing case involving Mrs. Harrington, a client grappling with her husband's kleptomania amidst a political campaign.
George Valentine operates a unique service that offers to handle various tasks, both serious and trivial. Despite mounting debts, George remains carefree, dreaming of his next fishing trip. His secretary, Claire Brooks, expresses concern over the unpaid bills (01:12).
Notable Quote:
George Valentine ([01:16]): "But if I get a client before Friday, a nice simple case... just a few quick bucks and I'm on my way."
Mrs. Harrington approaches George with a plea: her husband, Mr. Harrington, is a kleptomaniac. She fears his behavior might jeopardize his political ambitions.
Notable Quote:
Mrs. Harrington ([02:22]): "I want you to watch that person every minute of the day. Do you understand?"
George dismissively refers to the issue as a simple case of kleptomania, assuming it's straightforward. However, Claire notices that Mrs. Harrington's fountain pen is missing immediately after her visit, hinting at more deceit.
Notable Quote:
Claire Brooks ([03:55]): "Look in your purse, Mrs. Harrington."
When George confronts Mrs. Harrington about the missing pen, the true complexity unfolds. Mrs. Harrington reveals that her husband is running against Mr. Gordon for alderman and is desperate to conceal his wife's kleptomania to maintain his political image.
Notable Quote:
Mrs. Harrington ([03:29]): "Oh, I'll be quite frank. I'm under a doctor's care... but meanwhile, my husband is running for alderman."
As George attempts to discreetly handle the situation, Mr. Gordon becomes suspicious of Mrs. Harrington's activities. A confrontation ensues in Gordon's Department Store when George accuses Mrs. Harrington of theft. Mrs. Harrington's evasive behavior leads Officer Flynn to intervene, mistaking George's actions for suspicious behavior.
Notable Quote:
George Valentine ([05:39]): "Mrs. Harrington, go home."
Officer Flynn detains George, Claire, and Sonny, suspecting them of theft. The trio finds themselves in a comedic predicament as George tries to talk his way out of the situation, introducing a fictitious "vulpis fulvus" (a mythical silver fox).
Notable Quote:
George Valentine ([12:17]): "Well, you see, this is a funny sort of gopher. It's got a little squirrel in it."
During the misunderstanding, it becomes clear that Mrs. Harrington's kleptomania is a facade to protect her husband's political career. When Captain Wool, Mr. Harrington, arrives, the truth is unveiled. Mrs. Harrington admits her deceit, acknowledging that her actions were intended to shield her husband's reputation.
Notable Quote:
Mrs. Harrington ([16:50]): "I never saw him before in my life."
Mr. Harrington thanks George for his unintentional assistance, promising to double his payment despite the chaos caused.
Notable Quote:
Mr. Harrington ([25:20]): "And whatever the bill will be, I want you to double it."
As the episode concludes, George enjoys the success of resolving the case, albeit with minor setbacks—Mrs. Harrington once again manages to abscond with a check, leaving George and Claire in disbelief.
Notable Quote:
George Valentine ([26:25]): "Mr. Valentine. Oh, no. She did it again."
An additional teaser hints at George's next adventure, where he encounters a mysterious note demanding his assistance.
George and Claire's Dynamic: George's carefree nature contrasts with Claire's practicality, highlighting the tension between his unorthodox methods and the reality of his financial obligations.
Notable Exchange:
Claire Brooks ([08:08]): "Now what?"
George Valentine ([08:09]): "Now what?"
Mrs. Harrington's Deception: The complexity of Mrs. Harrington's character reveals layers of desperation and cunning to protect her husband's political aspirations.
Notable Quote:
Mrs. Harrington ([22:36]): "Mr. Valentine, you were right all along."
Officer Flynn's Suspicion: The introduction of Officer Flynn adds a layer of tension and comedy as George fumbles to maintain his cover story.
Notable Quote:
Officer Flynn ([11:01]): "Mr. Valentine, pardon me for mentioning it, but what is that sticking out of your shirt?"
"Kleptomaniac" offers a delightful blend of comedy, intrigue, and character-driven humor typical of the Golden Age of Radio. George Valentine's unconventional approach to problem-solving leads to a series of misunderstandings that ultimately strengthen his relationship with Mrs. Harrington and Mr. Harrington. The episode concludes on a humorous note, setting the stage for future escapades.
Final Notable Quote:
George Valentine ([26:34]): "Well, I distinctly remember. Put it right under that paperweight, you see?"
Starring:
Written by: Pauline Hopkins
Produced and Directed by: Owen Vinson
Music Composed and Conducted by: Charles Dant
Announcer: John Hen
Broadcasted on: Mutual Don Lee Broad Broadcasting System
As teased at the end of the episode, listeners can anticipate George Valentine's next adventure, promising more humor and unexpected twists.
Timestamp Key:
This episode masterfully intertwines humor with a light-hearted mystery, showcasing George Valentine's knack for getting into and out of tricky situations. Ideal for fans of classic radio dramas, "Kleptomaniac" delivers engaging storytelling with memorable characters and witty dialogues.