Life of Riley 49-11-25 255 Thanksgiving Dinner with the Boss

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Life of Riley – “Thanksgiving Dinner with the Boss” (Aired 49-11-25)
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Date: November 26, 2025
Main Characters: Riley (William Bendix), Peg (Paula Winslow), Gillis, Sydney Monahan, Digger O’Dell

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Overview

This classic episode of The Life of Riley offers a comedic and heartfelt look at the Thanksgiving holiday through the misadventures of Chester A. Riley and his family. The story unfolds with Riley’s traditional values clashing against modern family plans, a mistaken-identity fiasco, and a bundle of marital misunderstandings—all culminating in Riley’s signature combination of bluster, self-doubt, and eventual humility.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Thanksgiving Traditions and Family Dynamics

(01:35–05:59)

• Riley is determined to have a family Thanksgiving dinner, but his kids, Junior and Babs, make other plans, upsetting him.
• Peg and Riley debate the importance of tradition and gratitude.
  • Riley: "Thanksgiving ain't like any other dinner. And next Thursday, you're gonna be sitting at that table and be thankful, or you'll wish you'll never been born." (01:46)
• Riley’s anxieties surface—he worries about layoffs at work and the future of his family.
• Peg reassures him about their home and life together, which leads to playful bickering about old flames (especially Peg’s former boyfriend, Monahan).
• Humorous exchange as Riley asks if Peg would swap him for a movie star:
  • Riley: "You would never want to change me for Monahan."
  • Peg: "No, dear. And not for any other man."
  • Riley: "Not even for Cary Grant."
  • Peg: "Well, now, let's not go overboard. Just stick to Monahan." (05:51–05:59)

2. Riley’s Friends and “Freedom” Plans

(06:15–08:04)

• Gillis (Riley’s friend) boasts about leaving his family behind to hunt at Lake Mead with the boys.
• Peer pressure and ribbing: Gillis accuses Riley of being “henpecked,” leading Riley to ask Peg if he can go.
• In an unexpected twist, Peg enthusiastically encourages Riley to take the trip, throwing him into further confusion.
  • Riley: "You want me to go?"
  • Peg: "Well, of course."
  • Riley: "I must be in the wrong house." (08:46–08:51)
• Classic Riley logic: The more Peg approves, the more reluctant and suspicious he becomes.

3. The Hunting Trip: Homesickness and Jealousy

(10:47–13:00)

• Riley, after many hesitations, finally leaves for the hunting trip but remains preoccupied with whether Peg actually wants him gone.
• At the lodge, while Riley is preoccupied with calling home, Peg receives surprise visitors—Sydney Monahan (her old flame) and his new wife, Marge, who are passing through town.

4. Misunderstandings Multiply

(13:14–20:05)

• Peg and the Monahans catch up; Peg is genuinely friendly and gracious.
• Meanwhile at the lodge, Riley tries to phone his wife, but crossed wires connect him with the Monahans instead. He overhears conversations out of context (“kissing” and playful exchanges) and jumps to wild conclusions.
  • Riley (panicked): "Peg and Monahan kissing. I can't believe it, but it's true. I heard it with my own ears." (18:00–18:57)
• Riley’s jealousy spirals, driving him to abandon the trip and rush home.

5. Comic Paranoia & Digger O’Dell’s Grim Humor

(21:28–22:39)

• Riley is intercepted on his way home by his friend “Digger” O’Dell, the undertaker.
• Digger adds macabre comic relief, reciting his Thanksgiving card:
  • Digger: "Give thanks you're vertical on it, not horizontal in it." (21:59–22:03)
• Digger and Riley spy on the house, confirming Sydney Monahan’s presence. Riley prepares for a dramatic confrontation.

6. Revelation and Reconciliation

(24:00–27:17)

• Riley confronts Sydney, bracing for heartbreak, only to finally understand that Sydney is married and that the woman with him is his wife Marge—Peg was never “running away.”
  • Peg: “This is Sydney's wife.”
  • Riley (crestfallen): “What a revolting development this is.” (27:12–27:17)
• Riley is comically humbled by his misinterpretation.

7. Happy Ending & Humorous Wrap-up

(28:07–29:38)

• Riley and Sydney share a beer and good wishes. Riley jokes about the “one argument” he and Peg have had—for eighteen years.
  • Riley: "Peg said that I was stupid and I said I wasn't."
  • Peg: "You mean that was the only argument you ever had?"
  • Riley: "Yep...and it's been going on ever since." (28:25–28:46)
• The episode ends with light-hearted laughter and gratitude for family.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On Thanksgiving tradition
  • “Thanksgiving ain't like any other dinner. And next Thursday, you're gonna be sitting at that table and be thankful, or you'll wish you'll never been born.” — Riley (01:46)
• On marital gratitude and old flames
  • “That was my lucky day when you asked me to marry you. I'll always be thankful for that.” — Riley (04:19)
  • “I'm staying right here with you.” — Peg (27:12)
• On comic jealousy
  • “Peg and Monahan kissing. I can't believe it, but it's true. I heard it with my own ears.” — Riley (18:57)
  • “What a revolting development this is.” — Riley (27:17)
• On the enduring marriage
  • “Peg said that I was stupid and I said I wasn't...and it's been going on ever since.” — Riley (28:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 01:35–05:59 | Thanksgiving plans, family disputes | | 06:15–08:04 | Peer pressure: Lake Mead hunting trip | | 10:47–13:00 | Riley leaves; Peg’s surprise visitors | | 13:14–20:05 | Crossed phone wires, misunderstanding escalates | | 21:28–22:39 | Digger O’Dell’s comic insights | | 24:00–27:17 | The big reveal and resolution | | 28:07–28:46 | Comic wrap-up on marriage and arguments |

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Summary Takeaways

• Classic marital comedy: Riley’s blend of suspicion, protectiveness, and self-deprecating humor drive most of the episode’s laughs.
• Golden Age storytelling: The episode balances slapstick misunderstanding and heartfelt reminders of what truly matters—home, family, and gratitude.
• Memorable supporting characters like Digger O’Dell add distinct charm and wry humor.
• The Thanksgiving moral: Sometimes our worries are baseless, and the real treasures are right at home, even if they come with the “revolting developments” of everyday life.

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For listeners who missed the episode, this summary captures the spirit, hilarity, and warmth of the classic “Life of Riley” Thanksgiving adventure.

Transcript

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[Riley]

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[Sydney Monahan]

Always living the life of Riley when for Pabst Blue Ribbon you call. Finest beer served anywhere there's nothing like it at all Old north or south or east or west When Pabst Blue Ribbon you drink? You're born of beer you know is best so let the glasses clink, you're living the life of Riley. When for Pabst Blue Ribbon you call. When for Pabst Blue Ribbon you call Pabst Blue Ribbon. Finest beer served anywhere. Proudly presents the Life of Riley, starring William Bendix as Riley. Well, Thanksgiving is barely over, and for most people, it was a pleasant holiday. It worked out fine in the Riley household, but for a while, things got a bit out of hand. It all started a few days ago.

[Riley]

Five cents a pound. We need enough for about four people.

[Peg]

Oh, better just make it for three days.

[Riley]

Now, wait a minute, Babs. What do you mean, three?

[Peg]

I'll make it just for two. I'm going on a hike with a gang Thanksgiving Day, and I'm having dinner with the girls at my sorority.

[Riley]

Now, just a minute. Just a minute, both of you kids. You ain't going no place. Thanksgiving ain't like any other dinner. And next Thursday, you're gonna be sitting at that table and be thankful, or you'll wish you'll never been born. Now, you better go and cancel your dates right now.

[Peg]

Oh, all right, I'll break it. Aw, gee. We can never go anywhere.

[Riley]

I guess that'll learn him.

[Peg]

Now, Riley, don't you think you were a little too tough on him?

[Riley]

Well, maybe. But to me, Thanksgiving is something special. The kids today don't have any sentiment. I believe one day a year, a guy should take stock and be thankful for his blessings.

[Peg]

You're right, dear. We're only inclined to forget.

[Riley]

Yeah, I ain't a rich man, but I got plenty to be thankful for. Got a good job. Only pay 60 bucks a week, but at least it's steady. I've been there 10 years, and I can have it for life if I don't get laid off, that is. Awful lot of layoffs in industry lately. Might even start Laying off guys at my plant. And I've never been one to play up to the boss. I'll probably be the first one to get fired. Fine job I got to be thankful for.

[Peg]

Well, you're not fired yet. Take it easy.

[Riley]

Well, even if I am, at least I got this house. That's something to be thankful for. It's a fine little house and it'll be all ours in just 20 years. All we gotta do is keep up the payments. But if I'm fired, where'll I get the money for the payments? Oh, now, the price payment we miss, we'll get shoved out in the street. That's something to be thankful for.

[Peg]

We've managed to keep up the payments so far.

[Riley]

Yeah. Anyway, money ain't everything. I got two wonderful kids. The bank can never take them away from me. That's our real blessings, Peg. But if I get laid off and lose this house, they won't stick around here. We still got the house. And I practically gotta chain them to make em stay in it. A fine pair of kids we were blessed with.

[Peg]

Now don't be silly. They're wonderful children.

[Riley]

Some Thanksgiving. No job, no house, no kids. Thanks for nothing.

[Peg]

Well, you're the most pessimistic man I've ever seen.

[Riley]

Well, what have I got?

[Peg]

Well, you got me, haven't you?

[Sydney Monahan]

Yeah.

[Riley]

Yeah, that was my lucky day when you asked me to marry you. I'll always be thankful for that.

[Peg]

And I'll always be thankful that I married you instead of Sidney Monahan.

[Riley]

Why bring him up?

[Peg]

I just said that I hurt you.

[Riley]

But why drag him into the conversation as dull enough as it is?

[Peg]

I just mentioned Monahan. What's the harm?

[Riley]

It seems to me that lately that's all you've been doing is mentioning that Monahan.

[Peg]

Oh, Riley, I don't think I mentioned his name in a year.

[Riley]

So? He was your boyfriend 20 years ago. So he asked you to marry him. Does that mean you gotta keep thinking about him?

[Peg]

You're acting very silly.

[Riley]

You know, I had plenty of girlfriends too before I married you. But as soon as we got hitched, I forgot about him. I said to myself, riley, you're a married man now. No more fun. But with you it's Monahan this, Monahan that.

[Peg]

Oh my goodness, to hear you talk. You're still jealous of him.

[Sydney Monahan]

Who, me?

[Riley]

Don't be ridiculous. Why should I be jealous of him? What's he got? Just a four flushing promoter in the money one day and broke the next. Has he got a good steady lifetime job like Me with a house almost paid for, two wonderful kids. What have I got to be jealous about?

[Peg]

That's what I say.

[Riley]

Sure. You got no reason to be sorry you married me.

[Peg]

Well, that's what I just said.

[Riley]

You really love me, eh, Dumplin?

[Peg]

You know I do.

[Riley]

You would never want to change me for Monahan.

[Peg]

No, dear. And not for any other man.

[Riley]

Not even for Cary Grant.

[Peg]

Well, now, let's not go overboard. Just stick to Monahan.

[Sydney Monahan]

Hi there, Rainey. Where are you off there?

[Riley]

Oh, hey. Gill is just going down to the market, pick up our Thanksgiving turkey.

[Sydney Monahan]

Sucker. What do you want with that stuff for?

[Riley]

Well, gee, it's almost Thanksgiving.

[Sydney Monahan]

So what? What have I got to be thankful for? My gorgeous wife. I should murder an innocent turkey for that.

[Riley]

You mean you ain't even gonna have a turkey?

[Sydney Monahan]

I got my turkey when I get married.

[Riley]

Gillis, I'm surprised that you, a guy with a family, should celebrate.

[Sydney Monahan]

So. Who says I don't celebrate? I leave the family and I go away with the boys. A bunch of us are going up to Lake Mead. Rent a little cabin up there.

[Riley]

Do some hunting.

[Sydney Monahan]

Lots of wild tykeys up there. Maybe play poker at night.

[Riley]

Lots of laughs.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, that's really living.

[Riley]

Yeah. Hey, that sounds great. I always wanted to go hunting.

[Sydney Monahan]

Why don't you come with us?

[Riley]

Well, I don't know. It'd be kind of hard to get away.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, scared of the misses, huh? That's the trouble with you Henpeck guys.

[Riley]

Oh, no, no, no. You got me wrong. It ain't that. It ain't that at all. It's just that. Well, with Peg and me, it's different from you and Honeybee. Ours was a. Was a love match.

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, mine was a love match too. For the first five years after we got married, we adored each other. Madly in love.

[Riley]

Yeah, well, what broke it up?

[Sydney Monahan]

I got discharged from the Navy and come home to her.

[Riley]

Well, Peg and me, you see, we're still crazy about each other. We go everywhere together. She can't bear to let me out of her sight. She'd just be miserable.

[Sydney Monahan]

Don't give me that. You're scared.

[Riley]

Who's scared? Then why don't you ask her?

[Sydney Monahan]

You'd like to go, wouldn't you?

[Riley]

Well, yeah, sure.

[Sydney Monahan]

Then tell her.

[Riley]

I will.

[Sydney Monahan]

Okay.

[Riley]

Okay.

[Peg]

Was that you, dear?

[Riley]

Yeah. Hi, Peg.

[Peg]

Did you get the turkey, dear?

[Riley]

Well, no, but why not? Well, yeah. Well, I've been thinking it over and you work hard enough all year round cooking. And when a holiday comes along, you shouldn't spend it in the kitchen. You deserve a vacation. So I'm going up to Lake Mead with the boys for the weekend.

[Peg]

Lake Mead?

[Riley]

Now, just a minute, Peg. I know just what you're going to say, and it's no use.

[Peg]

I think it's a grand idea. You go right ahead.

[Riley]

Now, it's no use arguing because. What did you say?

[Peg]

Go ahead. It's a wonderful idea.

[Riley]

You want me to go?

[Peg]

Well, of course.

[Riley]

I must be in the wrong house.

[Peg]

It'll do you good to get away for a weekend. There's no loss, as we must have a Thanksgiving dinner. Besides, Junior's dying to go on that hike and Babs has to show up at that sorority dinner. It's just silly buying a big turkey just for the two of us. So you go with the boys and have a good time.

[Riley]

You really want me to go?

[Peg]

I just said so.

[Riley]

You're urging me to go?

[Peg]

Yes. Yes.

[Riley]

I ain't going.

[Peg]

Oh, for heaven's sake.

[Riley]

I must say you're acting very suspicious.

[Peg]

And you're acting like a child. You brought this whole thing up in the first place. If you don't want to go, don't go.

[Riley]

Oh, is that so? What right have you got telling me not to go? I ain't tied to your apron strings, you know. If I want to go, I'll go. And I don't want to hear no more argument.

[Peg]

Are you sure you got everything now, Riley? Your heavy underwear?

[Riley]

Yeah, I got everything.

[Peg]

Well, you better hurry. You don't want to miss that train.

[Riley]

No. Well, goodbye, Peg.

[Peg]

Goodbye, dear. And be careful with those guns up there.

[Riley]

Yeah, I will, Peg. You sure you want me to go?

[Peg]

Oh, Riley, don't start that again.

[Riley]

If you don't want me to go, just say the word.

[Peg]

But I do want you to go.

[Riley]

I can still cancel it. I can get a refund on the train ticket.

[Peg]

Oh, look, Riley, for the last time, it's up to you. If you don't want to go, don't go.

[Riley]

Now, Peg, don't start that again. I made up my mind to go and I'm going.

[Peg]

Well, go on.

[Riley]

You're sure you want me to go?

[Peg]

Oh, Riley.

[Riley]

Okay, okay, I'm going. Well, kiss me goodbye, dumplin.

[Peg]

Goodbye, dear.

[Riley]

I think I'll stay.

[Peg]

Well, all right. No, no, no.

[Riley]

I'm going. Once I reach a decision, I go through with it. I have made up my head.

[Sydney Monahan]

Pabst Blue Ribbon will bring you the second act of the Life of Riley in just a moment. At the opening of our program tonight, you heard a song that Started this way or it's living the life of Riley. When it's Pabst Blue Ribbon, you drink. I think most Pabst Blue Ribbon fans know exactly what that feeling is. A sort of sitting on top of the world feeling. Yes. When you drink a tall, foaming glass of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, you know you're enjoying the finest beer served anywhere. We often wish that every beer drinker in America could visit the huge Pabst Breweries and see for himself the scientific skill, the care, the exacting Blue Ribbon standards of control that go far beyond those of any other brewery in America. But there's a simpler way to prove to your own satisfaction the outstanding quality of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. Order a bottle at your favorite bar or restaurant tomorrow or have a case sent home. Let your taste tell you why. Wherever you go, you hear it called the finest beer served anywhere. You hear it everywhere. Finest beer served anywhere. 33 fine brews blended into one great beer. And now back to the Life of Riley. Starring William Bendix as Riley. With Paula Winslow and John Brown. For the first time in his married life, Riley is away from home on Thanksgiving, out on a hunting trip with his friends. They've just arrived at the hunting lodge at Lake Mead. Well, this is it. What do you think of it, guys? Not bad. Okay, where's the bedroom? Where's the bedroom?

[Riley]

Where's the telephone?

[Peg]

Yes. He's finally gone, Helen. I thought I'd never get him to go. I never saw such a man. He just can't bear to let me out of his sight for one minute. Well, it just isn't normal after 18 years of marriage. But who says Riley's normal? Oh, there's someone at the door. I'll call you later, Helen. Goodbye.

[Sydney Monahan]

Hello there, Peggy pie.

[Peg]

Sydney Monaghan.

[Sydney Monahan]

Surprise.

[Peg]

Well, I certainly am. I never expected to see you here in California.

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, hold on to your hat. I've got another surprise for you. Marge. Come in, honey. Peg, meet Mrs. Sidney Monaghan.

[Peg]

Hello, Sidney. You're married.

[Sydney Monahan]

Yep. I chased her until she caught me.

[Peg]

Oh, I'm so glad to meet you, Marge. Likewise. Well, I. I know you'll both be very happy. Oh, you've certainly got a wonderful fella. Mrs. Monahan.

[Sydney Monahan]

Yes, sir. And Peg. I don't know, Marge, she turned me down three times.

[Peg]

I don't believe it.

[Sydney Monahan]

Yeah, it'll be even harder to believe when you see who she turned me down for. Where is that big baboon Riley?

[Peg]

Oh, Sidney, Riley's not here. He went away for the weekend. On a hunting trip.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, that's too bad. Tell me, how is mighty Schmo young?

[Peg]

Oh, Riley's fine. How long will you be in town?

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, just till tomorrow. We're going up to Sacramento. I'm selling bubblegum.

[Peg]

We're still on our honeymoon.

[Sydney Monahan]

But I told Marge we can't pass through LA without seeing the Riley's.

[Peg]

Well, sit down. Oh, there's so much I want to ask you. Oh, have you had breakfast yet? Oh, yes, thank you. Well, how about some coffee?

[Sydney Monahan]

No, Peggy, don't get any trouble on her.

[Peg]

There's no trouble. I was just making some. Now you two make yourselves at home. I'll have it ready in just a minute.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, swell girl, Peggy.

[Peg]

Yes, she is, Sydney, but she's not exactly your type.

[Sydney Monahan]

Ah, you're the only type I go for, precious. Do you realize it's a whole hour since you kissed me?

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[Riley]

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[Sydney Monahan]

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[Peg]

With thousands of homes close to the.

[Riley]

Slopes, you can get epic pow freshies.

[Sydney Monahan]

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[Peg]

Minute filter on the app. Book a private vacation rental [e-mail]. sydney, not here.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, honey, it's all right. We're married now. Come here, sit on daddy's lap.

[Riley]

Oh, silly.

[Peg]

Oh, don't squeeze me so hard. You almost crushed my ribs. You're like a great big bear, Ger. Just a great big bear. A honey bear. Sydney, would you answer that?

[Sydney Monahan]

Okay, honey, let me go in there, will you?

[Peg]

I'm never gonna let you go.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, honey, please let me go. Hello?

[Riley]

Hello, Operator?

[Peg]

Hello?

[Sydney Monahan]

Hey, Riley, didn't you make that coin?

[Riley]

Yeah, I'm getting it now.

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, hurry up. We're all going out shooting.

[Riley]

Yeah, okay. I prayer.

[Peg]

I've got your call through now, sir. Go ahead.

[Riley]

Hello?

[Sydney Monahan]

Hello? Oh, honey, cut it out.

[Peg]

Hello?

[Riley]

Hello?

[Sydney Monahan]

Honey, get off my lap for a minute, huh?

[Riley]

Hello?

[Sydney Monahan]

Honey, I can't talk if you keep kissing me. Hello?

[Riley]

Oh, for Pete's sake.

[Sydney Monahan]

Operator.

[Peg]

Hello, Operator, Are you through with your call to Los Angeles?

[Riley]

No, you got me the wrong number. I want Gladstone 90069.

[Peg]

I'll ring that number.

[Sydney Monahan]

Hello?

[Riley]

Hello, honey, please.

[Sydney Monahan]

That's enough kissing on me. Let me talk, huh?

[Riley]

Who is this?

[Sydney Monahan]

Sydney Monahan.

[Riley]

Oh, for Pete's sake. Hello, operator?

[Peg]

Are you through with your call?

[Riley]

What's going on here? Operator, this is the second time you connected me with the wrong number. I want Gladstone 90069. That's Chester A. Riley's house. And you've been connecting me with Sidney Monaghan. Who? I don't do. Oh, no.

[Peg]

I'll try the number again, sir. But I can't understand why you're not getting it.

[Riley]

I'm getting it, all right. Pegging. Money hand. Pegging. Monahan kissing him.

[Sydney Monahan]

Hey, Riley, come on. Here's your gun. We're. Riley. What's the matter?

[Riley]

Peg and Monahan on the phone kissing.

[Sydney Monahan]

What are you standing there battling like an idiot?

[Riley]

Gillis, you're my best friend, ain't you?

[Sydney Monahan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Riley]

Do me a favor. Shoot me.

[Sydney Monahan]

No, I ain't. I ain't even got enough bullets for the. Shoot you.

[Riley]

Oh, Gillis, I'm sick. Take me to the train. I gotta get home right away. Peg and Monahan kissing. I can't believe it, but it's true. I heard it with my own ears. Monahan, Peg and Monahan. No wonder she was so anxious for me to go away. She was expecting Monahan. I never thought she'd do this to me. It's that Monahan's fault. That weasel. I gotta stop thinking about him. I'll go crazy if I keep thinking about Monahan. I gotta think of something else, put him out of my mind.

[Sydney Monahan]

Monahan, Monahan, Monahan, Monahan.

[Riley]

That's no use. Even the wheels keep saying Monahan.

[Sydney Monahan]

Monahan, Monahan, Monahan.

[Riley]

I can't stand it. I can't stand it. Oh, I've got such a headache.

[Sydney Monahan]

Peg, we're back.

[Peg]

Oh, Sydney, look at all that stuff. What did you do, buy out the whole delicatessen? Practically. We got a whole turkey and all.

[Sydney Monahan]

The trimming and the pumpkin pie.

[Peg]

You know, I'm really embarrassed. This is the first Thanksgiving we haven't had a turkey dinner.

[Sydney Monahan]

Aw, forget it, Peggy.

[Peg]

Well, I got the table all set. I'll just heat up the turkey and we can start. Can I help you, Peggy? Well, if you'd like to make the salad, I'd love to.

[Sydney Monahan]

Get to work, girls. And while you're slaving, I'll take a snooze on the couch here. This feels good.

[Peg]

Oh, Sydney, this turkey's tremendous. Too bad Riley isn't here.

[Sydney Monahan]

What?

[Peg]

I said, too bad Riley isn't here.

[Sydney Monahan]

Yeah. We can save him the part of the turkey that you know.

[Riley]

Which part? What am I hurrying for? What'll I say when I get home? What can I say? I won't say anything. The first thing I'll do is lay that Monahan out. And then the second thing, I'll.

[Sydney Monahan]

You just do the first thing and I'll take care of him from there.

[Riley]

Oh, it's you, Digger.

[Sydney Monahan]

Yes, it is. I indeed. Digby o', Dell, the friendly undertaker.

[Riley]

But where did you come from?

[Sydney Monahan]

I was right behind you. I've been following you for half a block, trying to catch up with you.

[Riley]

I was walking fast.

[Sydney Monahan]

It doesn't matter. I always catch up to people in the end. In fact, I was on my way to your house.

[Riley]

My house? Why?

[Sydney Monahan]

I wanted to know if you received my little Thanksgiving card.

[Riley]

Oh, no, no, I was out of town.

[Sydney Monahan]

I sent one to all my friends. It went like this. Just read this little message. It will only take a minute. Give thanks your vertical honor, not horizontal in it. Well, shall we go in? I'd like to wish you.

[Riley]

No, wait a minute, Digger. Wait. Let's not go in yet. I want to peek in the window first.

[Sydney Monahan]

What's the idea, Riley?

[Riley]

Yeah, yeah, there he is. That's Monahan, all right. You see that guy, Digger? He's trying to steal my wife.

[Sydney Monahan]

What? Why, the scoundrel. He ought to be put in his place. And I know just the place to put him.

[Riley]

The worst of it is, Peg loves him.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, no, not your pig, she wouldn't. How can you even think such a thing about your dear wife?

[Riley]

I got proof.

[Sydney Monahan]

Are you positive? In my profession, we have a circumstance. Always be sure of your ground before you start throwing dirt in somebody's face.

[Riley]

I'm positive. Look at him in there. Laying there on my couch with his shoes off.

[Sydney Monahan]

Riley, you go in there and box that scoundrel's ears. And when you're through, I'll box what's left of him.

[Riley]

No, no, Digger. Now, if that's what Peg wants, I won't stand in her way. I just want her to be happy.

[Sydney Monahan]

But, Riley, you're not giving her up without a struggle.

[Riley]

It's the best way. But first I want to have a quiet talk with Monahan.

[Sydney Monahan]

But, Riley, you can dig her.

[Riley]

Mind your own business. This is my funeral.

[Sydney Monahan]

If it's your funeral, it's my business. But if you insist. Cheerio. I'd better be shoveling off. How you doing in there, girls?

[Riley]

Fine.

[Peg]

We'll be ready soon. Honey.

[Sydney Monahan]

I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love with a wonderful guy.

[Riley]

Come on, Monahan.

[Sydney Monahan]

Riley. Well, what do you know? Peg said you weren't you and him.

[Peg]

Shh.

[Riley]

I don't want her to know that I'm here yet.

[Sydney Monahan]

Riley, I got news for you.

[Riley]

I know, I know. Wait. I'll close this door first.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, you want a surprise, eh? Well, we got a little surprise for you.

[Riley]

It's no surprise. I know all about it.

[Sydney Monahan]

Huh. Well, how'd you find out?

[Riley]

Congratulations.

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. So what are you doing here? We didn't expect you back till Saturday.

[Riley]

I bet you didn't. But that's beside the point. Now what I want to know is what are your plans? I'd like to know because. Well, I really want both of you to be happy. I mean that, Sydney.

[Sydney Monahan]

I know you do, Riley. And I certainly appreciate it.

[Riley]

Where do you plan to live?

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, we don't know yet. We might settle down right here in Los Angeles.

[Riley]

I know this sounds unusual, but could I come and visit sometimes?

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, what's unusual? Haven't I always visited you? And I'm always treated wonderful here. Yes, sir. Whenever I come here, I live the life of Riley.

[Riley]

Now you went too far.

[Sydney Monahan]

What's the matter?

[Riley]

I'm trying to act like a gentleman and you keep rubbing it in. Digger was right. I'm gonna give you just what you deserve. Put up your dukes, Monahan.

[Sydney Monahan]

Are you not trying? Put em up you get.

[Peg]

Yelling Riley. Well, what are you doing here?

[Riley]

Look at that turkey. You tell me. There's no point in getting a turkey just for two people. But when the two people are you and him, that's different, huh?

[Peg]

What are you talking about?

[Riley]

I never thought you'd do this to me, Peg. After all we've been through. After all the sacrifices of I made when I married you. You were just an inexperienced schoolgirl. But I got you your first job.

[Peg]

Riley, will you stop babbling?

[Riley]

Let me finish. When Babs was gonna be born and you were afraid you'd lose your job if you went to the hospital, who took your place? I did. And the day you came out, I gave the job right back to you.

[Peg]

Riley begged. Please let me finish.

[Riley]

And what about the time?

[Peg]

Salad's ready. Dinner is served.

[Riley]

A maid? He got you a maid? Sure, on my 60 bucks a week. I can't give you no maids. All I could give you is love. But that ain't enough for you. Well, okay. You can have him and his maids.

[Peg]

Are you finished?

[Riley]

Yes, I'm finished.

[Peg]

This is Sydney's wife.

[Riley]

His wife? You mean on the phone? It was. It wasn't you. You ain't running away with Sydney?

[Peg]

Of course not. I'm staying right here with you.

[Riley]

What a revolting development this is.

[Sydney Monahan]

In just a moment, Riley will return. Millions of people in the USA will be listening to football games on their radios this weekend. How about you? Are you prepared with plenty of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer on ice? Ask your dealer for the new Handy 6 carton. It contains six regular sized cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. And you can slide it right into your refrigerator so it'll be cooled and ready when the kickoff whistle blows. Be sure to ask for Pabst Blue Ribbon, the finest beer served anywhere. You sure handed me a laugh, Riley. Imagine thinking me and Peg.

[Riley]

Well, anyway, Sidney, old pal, I really do wish you all the happiness in the world. And now that you're married to your wife instead of mine.

[Sydney Monahan]

Thanks, Riley. I know you mean that.

[Riley]

Oh, sure. From the bottom of my heart. I only hope that you and Marge will have as happy a marriage as Peg and me married 18 years. And would you believe it? We've only had one argument.

[Sydney Monahan]

Really?

[Riley]

It was 18 years ago, the day after the wedding. Peg said that I was stupid and I said I wasn't.

[Peg]

You mean that was the only argument you ever had?

[Sydney Monahan]

Yep.

[Riley]

18 years ago. And it's been going on ever since.

[Sydney Monahan]

Hey, Riley, would you mind holding out your hand?

[Riley]

Well, sure, Mr. Wellington, but what's the gig?

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, now I'm going to put one can of Pabst Blue Ribbon into your hand. Then another, and another.

[Riley]

Wait a minute now.

[Sydney Monahan]

And another.

[Riley]

But I don't get it.

[Sydney Monahan]

That's four.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Sydney Monahan]

Now another one.

[Riley]

Look out. Oh, gee, I'm sorry I spilled him, Mr. Wellington.

[Sydney Monahan]

Well, I just wanted to prove how clumsy it is to try to carry a half a dozen cans of beer in your hand. Yes, even when you lug them home from the store in a paper bag. That's why Pabst Blue Ribbon has introduced the new Handy 6 cardboard carton. It's compact, convenient, easy to carry with that special new handle that fits the fingers of your hand. And best of all, the Handy 6 carton contains six regular sized cans.

[Riley]

I know, I know, I know. Pabst Blue Ribbon, the finest beer served anywhere.

[Sydney Monahan]

Oh, it's living the life of Riley. When from Pabst Blue Ribbon you call finest beer served anywhere. There's nothing like it at all. Oh, north or south or east or west When Pabst Blue Ribbon you drink, you're born the beer you know is best. So let the glasses clink, you're living the life of Riley. When for Pabst Blue Ribbon you call. When for Pabst Blue Ribbon you call. Pabst Blue Ribbon invites you to join us again next week to hear the Life of Riley, starring William Bendix as Riley. The Life of Riley is produced by Irving Brecher. Tonight's script is by Reuben Shipp and Alan Lipscott. Music by Jerry Fielding. Mrs. Riley is Paula Winslow. Digger Odell is John Brown. Babs is Barbara Iler Jr. Is Alan Reed, Jr. Consult your local paper for the correct time for the Life of Riley show on television over NBC, presented by arrangement with Universal International Pictures, now releasing Baghdad, a Technicolor picture starring Maureen o'. Hara. The Life of Riley is brought to you by the Pabst Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Newark, New Jersey, and Peoria, Illinois, and sent your way with the best wishes of Pabst Blue Ribbon dealers from coast to coast. Jimmy Wallington speaking. Next, it's jimmy durante with don amici on NBC.

[Announcer]

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[Riley]

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