Little Man Inside, The 450921_OTRRPG

Summary

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Harold's Old Time Radio<br>Episode: "Little Man Inside, The 450921_OTRRPG"<br>Date: February 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio features “The Little Man Inside,” a Golden Age radio comedy that playfully dramatizes the humorous disconnect between people's actions and their inner thoughts. The story spotlights John Nelson, an everyday man, and the internal dialogue of his "little man inside" as he navigates a night of domestic chaos, dreams, and imagined danger—all set against the cozy backdrop of mid-century home life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Little Man Inside" Concept

• The radio play opens with the narrator establishing the premise: John Nelson’s external words and actions are often hilariously at odds with the inner commentary provided by his "little man inside."
  • Quote (00:32): “The trouble with civilization is there isn't enough of it.”
  • The narrator describes the inner monologue: “Very often the little man inside is carrying on a different conversation than the one passing our lips.” (00:35)

2. Dream Sequence and Domestic Reality (02:14 – 03:12)

• The show begins while John is asleep, with his little man guiding a surreal dream featuring pink elephants, green gorillas, and the confusion between reality and fantasy.
  • Notable Moment: John’s dream blends into reality when his wife shakes him awake.
  • Quote (02:14): “Look at that elephant. Pink with green stripes, eating a yellow ice cream cone and a shovel nose… No, that's Tuesday. Look, he's coming this way on roller skates.”
• The abrupt switch to reality is played for laughs as John’s wife interrupts:
  • Quote (03:05): “Stop shaking me… Oh, hello, honey. Oh, what do you want?”

3. Suspicion of a Burglar and Gender Stereotypes (03:33 – 05:17)

• John's wife suspects a burglar in the basement, leading to a comedic exploration of gender roles:
  • John’s internal griping:
    • Quote (04:15): “Why is it that women are built to bake pies and men are built to stoke furnaces and never the twain shall meet?”
  • The couple’s roles are humorously reversed as John is cajoled into confronting potential danger.
• The exchange is loaded with banter and the little man’s constant sarcastic commentary.

4. Basement Investigation and Overactive Imaginations (06:06 – 09:02)

• The tension rises as John and his wife explore the basement:
  • John’s internal back-and-forth between bravery and cowardice:
    • Quote (06:15): “I feel better with this bat in my hand than I would without it. Well, I'll look behind the furnace first. Nothing there.”
    • Quote (07:06): “That sure makes sense.” (mocking his wife’s attempts to call out to an imaginary figure)
• The mundane scenario escalates to a near-comic panic when they believe they've trapped a burglar, and the police are called.

5. Interaction with Police—Farce of the False Alarm (09:03 – 11:10)

• The banter continues as the police are called and respond:
  • The little man's sarcasm escalates (“Why do I pay taxes?” [08:27]), and John and his wife try to appear calm and collected.
• The police search the basement, only to discover the "burglar" was actually just a dog.
  • Quote (10:58): “It's a dog.”
  • John's embarrassed retort (11:00): “Well, don't look at me that way, you stupid oafs. Didn't you ever make a mistake?”

6. Dealing with Neighborhood Gossip (11:44 – 13:22)

• The aftermath involves awkward interactions with their neighbor, Mr. Collins.
  • John's wife invents a wild tale:
    • Quote (13:02): “Yeah. I tore open the door and strode down. I shot it out with a man to man. It was horrible. And now there he lies in the basement waiting for the coroner.”
  • Internal monologue: “When the coroner comes, tell him to pick up this story too.” (13:11)
• The little man inside critiques the escalating tall tales and imagines neighborhood gossip.

7. Resolution: The Dog Stays (13:29 – 14:10)

• The couple, initially intent on abandoning the unexpected intruder, end up deciding to keep the puppy.
  • Quote (13:54): “I suppose we could keep him. The kids would enjoy him.”
  • The little man inside grumbles at the prospect of more responsibility:
    • “Now wait a minute, old man. That means work.” (13:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The trouble with civilization is there isn't enough of it.” – John Nelson (00:32)
• Surreal dream description:
  “Pink with green stripes, eating a yellow ice cream cone and a shovel nose. Wouldn't be Bob Hope. No, that's Tuesday.” – John Nelson (Little Man Inside) (02:14)
• Commentary on gender roles:
  “Why is it that women are built to bake pies and men are built to stoke furnaces and never the twain shall meet?” – John Nelson (Little Man Inside) (04:15)
• Mocking the official response:
  “Why do I pay taxes?” – John Nelson (Little Man Inside) (08:27)
• Final reveal:
  “It's a dog.” – John Nelson's Wife (10:58)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:32: Introduction to the "little man inside" concept.
• 02:14: Absurd dream sequence.
• 03:33: The suspected burglar and marital banter begins.
• 06:06: The basement search for the "burglar."
• 09:02: Police are called.
• 10:58: The "burglar" is revealed to be a dog.
• 11:44: Confrontation with the neighbor and escalating tall tales.
• 13:54: The decision to keep the dog.

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Tone & Style

• Wry, fast-paced, and whimsical.
• The humor is delivered equally through John’s dry internal monologue and farcical spoken exchanges.
• Sarcasm and gentle parody of suburban anxieties permeate the story.

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Summary

This classic radio episode exemplifies the everyday comedy of mismatched perceptions and communication in family life. Blending dreamlike surrealism with relatable domestic farce, "The Little Man Inside" uses internal monologue to highlight the difference between our public masks and private worries. In the end, the “danger” turns harmless, leading to a new (if involuntary) family member—and a final note of exasperated affection from the ever-active little man inside.

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Transcript

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[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

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[John Nelson's Wife]

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[Narrator]

Presenting.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

The trouble with civilization is there isn't enough of it.

[Narrator]

The Little Man Inside. The American Broadcasting Company presents the Little Man Inside. It's the story of that peculiar character within us who dictates our thoughts and runs our machinery. Very often the little man inside is carrying on a different conversation than the one passing our lips. And in this everyday story of people and their thoughts, you'll hear that little man inside in action. Here's John Nelson and his little man as they struggle with their thousands of problems. First of all, let's meet John Nelson.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Thank you, son. Here's a quarter for you.

[Narrator]

And here is his little man inside.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Sure, give him a quarter, you dope. Act like a millionaire. This guy probably makes more in a day than you do in a week.

[Narrator]

That's it, friends. John Nelson and the little man inside. As we join John Nelson. He is fast asleep. John Nelson is, but the little man inside is very active. Yes, we join John in the middle of a dream while the little man inside is in the process of giving him a very bad time. Listen now as we bring you the first play by play broadcast of a dream.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Look at that elephant. Pink with green stripes, eating a yellow ice cream cone and a shovel nose. Wouldn't be Bob Hope. No, that's Tuesday. Look, he's coming this way on roller skates. I gotta hide. I'll just hide behind this sack of clouds until he passes. Now there's four of them. And that first one's got purple eyes. They're chasing me. No, they won't get me. I'll run. I can't run. I can't run. Maybe if I flap my arms, I can fly. That's it. I'm a great big green housefly. Why do people build houses with beautiful ceilings and then walk on the floor? I can't fly. Uh oh. There's a hand on my shoulder. I'm afraid to look. Turn around slowly. That's it. A green gorilla. And he's shaking me. Stop shaking me. Stop shaking me. Stop shaking me.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Stop shaking me. Stop shaking me. Oh, hello, honey. Oh, what do you want?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Good heavens. It was my wife shaking me.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, point that lampshade the other way, will you, honey? The light's blinding me.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

A gorilla with purple eyes. Hmm.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Hey, let me look at your eyes once.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

She thinks I'm crazy. I wonder.

[John Nelson's Wife]

But what are you whispering about?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

1 o'. Clock. I've got five more hours to sleep and she wakes me up.

[John Nelson's Wife]

A burglar.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

A burglar? Where? What have we got that anybody wants?

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, nonsense, honey. Go back to bed.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

This is the last straw. I'm going back to my pink elephants.

[John Nelson's Wife]

A burglar in the basement. How can you hear a burglar in the basement?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

She doesn't have to hear a burg. She just has to imagine one.

[John Nelson's Wife]

But the radiator can magnify a mouse into an elephant mouse, you chump.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I shouldn't have said that. Now you'll have to set the mousetraps.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Look, honey. Look, honey. How could a burglar get in the basement?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Stop quibbling, boy. You're stuck.

[John Nelson's Wife]

But why did you have the door open this afternoon?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Get out of bed, son. You've got to go to the basement.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, how many times have I told you to open the flue and the furnace won't smoke.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Why is it that women are built to bake pies and men are built to stoke furnaces and never the twain shall meet?

[John Nelson's Wife]

All right, honey, all right. I'll get out of bed and look in the basement. Get me that baseball bat out of Junior's closet just in case, will you?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Maybe I can stage a fake fight and be your hero.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Yeah, all right, honey. Now, you stay here in the kitchen while I go into the basement.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I wonder if there could be anybody down there. Oh, nonsense, old man. This sort of thing is contagious. Look, be nonchalant about this.

[John Nelson's Wife]

I don't think there's anybody down there, you know. But you stand here by the door, and if I yell, open the door and stand aside. And then as I come through, slam it behind me and lock it quick.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

This is silly. If I see a burglar, I won't run. Or will I?

[John Nelson's Wife]

No, no, I don't intend running from anyone, honey, but he might be armed.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

This is really a job for the police.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Now, you stay here and don't worry.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Yeah, let me do the worrying. Well, what are you waiting for? Go on down.

[John Nelson's Wife]

All right, honey, stand by.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I forgot to turn on the light. Where's that switch? Where's that switch? Can't find it.

[John Nelson's Wife]

You open the door, honey.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

She Thinks I saw someone.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, I. I forgot to turn the light on and couldn't find the switch.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Boy, are you a hero.

[John Nelson's Wife]

I don't know whether there's anyone down there. I forgot to turn the light on.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Can't she understand English? What's she looking at me that way for?

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, now, don't laugh. I just wanted you to open the door so I could see the switch.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Then what am I doing out here? Yeah.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, I was leaning on the door, and when you opened it so suddenly, I fell out.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Well, let's get back down to that basement so we can finally get back to bed.

[John Nelson's Wife]

All right. Open the door, honey. I'm going back down.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Stop shaking. She'll notice it. And the army was thinking of drafting you. Hmm.

[John Nelson's Wife]

All right, honey, stand by.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Got the switch that time. Well, let's see what's down here. Let's see. About the only place down here would be that pile of boxes over there in the corner. Coal bin's locked, and from the outside, even a murder mystery wouldn't have him in there. I feel better with this bat in my hand than I would without it. Well, I'll look behind the furnace first. Nothing there. Did I see something move behind those boxes? Oh, no, of course not. Well, I gotta look. Oh, nothing there. Better look. Well, let's go look. Walk up to those boxes and look. Go on. Go ahead. That's far enough, boy. No use overdoing this thing.

[John Nelson's Wife]

If anyone's back there, come on out. I see you now.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

That sure makes sense.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Who's there?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Nobody but us mice. Hey, look. The boxes are moving. They're falling. He's making a break for it. Open the door, honey.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Unlock the door. Quick.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

That's it. Now.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Now we've got him locked down there.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

What are we going to do with him now?

[John Nelson's Wife]

Now, you watch the door while I go call the police.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Brave man. Let her watch the door.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Or would you rather call the police?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Well, after all, she can scream louder than I can.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, all right. You watch the door and I'll call the police.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Let's see now. Dial 4, 4, 4. Emergency police call or. Or. Or. Well, they should have a squad car here in no time. I can hear the phone ringing. Now, let's see. What'll I say? I don't want to sound too silly or excited. I'll say sort of nonchalantly, we've got a burglar. No, he might not be a burglar. Let me see. Wonder why they don't answer? Well, I'll say.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Hello. Hello. Hello. Is this the police station?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Who would you think it is, a museum?

[John Nelson's Wife]

This is John Nelson.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

What do you expect him to do now, ask for your autograph?

[John Nelson's Wife]

Yeah, I have. That is, we have a man in our basement.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I have a man here, Doctor.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Ask him to leave. Well, he won't go.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Fine thing. Why do I pay taxes?

[John Nelson's Wife]

No, I haven't asked him yet. I can't talk to him.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Pardon me, sir, but would you mind leaving our basement because he's a desperado.

[John Nelson's Wife]

He's armed.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

That's right. Impress him with the seriousness of this.

[John Nelson's Wife]

How do I know what he wants?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

For heaven's sakes, what is this, a quick quiz?

[John Nelson's Wife]

Look, look, look. We have a desperate man in the basement. And will you or will you not send over a squad car?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

That's it. Tell him off.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Now, I realize you get a lot of false alarms from excited people. But believe me, this is no false alarm.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

He should see what I saw. Or what did I see?

[John Nelson's Wife]

You will send over a squad car, then. All right. Thank you.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I hope this guy's a murderer. It'll serve them right.

[John Nelson's Wife]

What? What's that? Oh, my address.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Yeah, that'd help.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Let's see. Oh, yes, I'm a little excited. 2821 Long Vista Drive.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I shouldn't have admitted I was excited there.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, thank you very much, officer. Tell him to hurry. I don't hear him moving around down there.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

He's probably just as scared as you are.

[John Nelson's Wife]

It's funny that squad car doesn't show up.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Well, they got that cue, just like Dick Tracy.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Here they come, honey. Now, I'll meet him at the front door. I hope they don't wake the children.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

No, but they'll wake the neighbors.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Get right in here, man. Hurry. I think he's still down there waiting for the door to open to make a break.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Come to think of it, he could have gotten out a window.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, yes, yes. He's a big man and he's armed, I think.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Did that come out of me?

[John Nelson's Wife]

Certainly, I saw him. After all, I did take a swipe at him before he drew his gun. And then I hurried up.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Hurried up? If there was a catapult down there, you'd have wasted time using it.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Yes, right out here. Honey, these are the policemen.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

She couldn't tell it by their uniforms, of course.

[John Nelson's Wife]

You look like you could handle this man.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Men, big but stupid. They'll probably claim part of the reward, if there is one.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Now, now, I'll open the door and stand aside. And you grab him as he comes out.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

If there's going to be any shooting, I want to be out of the line of fire.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Are you ready, men? That's right. Get your guns out there.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

What'll the neighbors. Wait till they get a load of this. I'll probably get my picture in the papers.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Okay, here we go. Granny Grabby. Grab him.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Nothing happened.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Nothing happened.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Must be hiding down there.

[John Nelson's Wife]

He didn't make a break for it, huh?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Maybe he did get out of the window.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, yes, maybe he got out the window. He might be watching us right now. Through a window?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Somebody has to be there. What'll the neighbors think?

[John Nelson's Wife]

You say something's moving down there?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Ah, I thought so. It's.

[John Nelson's Wife]

It's barking. But that's impossible, isn't it?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Oh, no, not that.

[John Nelson's Wife]

It's a dog.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Well, don't look at me that way, you stupid oafs. Didn't you ever make a mistake?

[John Nelson's Wife]

I'm sorry, officers. Well, I guess I won't need you anymore.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

And don't slam the door as you go.

[John Nelson's Wife]

I can't say how sorry I am.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

You can say that again. When the neighbors see them come out alone, they'll probably think I got drunk and was beating my wife.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, thanks a lot for coming, men. The dog must have snuck in this afternoon.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Get her. Look at the wife.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, after all, honey, it was your fault.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Oh, well, I suppose we might as well go back to bed.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, who's that?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Stop being jittery, boy. It was just a dog.

[John Nelson's Wife]

I'll go see who it is.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Honey. I hope it isn't the neighbors.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh. Oh, hello, Mr. Collins.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

It is the neighbors.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, no, no, no trouble.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Look at him peek around me. Expects to see a body.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, yes, yes, that was the police. Those men who were just here.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

What'll I tell him?

[John Nelson's Wife]

Why, you see, we. We heard a noise in our basement.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I can't tell this guy the truth. Every time I go past his house, I'll hear him laughing.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Collins, we. We had a pretty desperate man locked in the basement.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Oh, no. I did it.

[John Nelson's Wife]

No, no, no, he didn't go out with the police.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Think fast.

[John Nelson's Wife]

He's still down there.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I shouldn't have said that. Hey, remember that story in Spicy Detective last week about Peterson? Give him that one.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, you see, I. I heard this noise in the basement. I was in bed, of course, and as I went down the stairs, a horrible sight met my eyes. You can't imagine, Mr. Collins. It made the hair stand up on the nape of my neck.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

It really did.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Yeah, I was. I Was ready to dash in unarmed, except for a baseball bat. Just in my undershirt, as you see me now.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Come to think of it, I must look pretty funny standing here in my night shirt.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Yeah, well. But my wife grabbed me by the arm and said, no, John. Remember your wife and children. So I stopped and I called the police. Well, when they came, I told them what I'd seen immediately. They knew who it was, but they were afraid to tackle him.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

This is getting a little deep, son.

[John Nelson's Wife]

No, I wasn't afraid. I said, give me a gun. That's all. Just give me a gun. They did.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

They would.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Yeah. I tore open the door and strode down. I shot it out with a man to man. It was horrible. And now there he lies in the basement waiting for the coroner.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

When the coroner comes, tell him to pick up this story too.

[John Nelson's Wife]

What's that? Well, no shots. Oh, you didn't hear any shots?

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Think fast, son.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, we used a silencer. Good night, Mr. Collins. Oh, good heavens. The dog is still here.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Look at it. Just a puppy. And it scared the wits out of me.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Oh, I wish I didn't have family responsibilities. I'd have gone in to route out the criminal myself and I'd have found out it was just a dog.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Yes, you would have.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Well, let's put him out.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Cute little bugger.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Yeah, he is a cute little thing. Honey, we can't keep him.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Gosh, he was as scared as I was. And brother, that was scared. Whoa.

[John Nelson's Wife]

I suppose we could keep him. The kids would enjoy him.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Now wait a minute, old man. That means work.

[John Nelson's Wife]

I suppose it would be up to me to take care of him. All right, we'll keep him.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

Oh, brother. Now you did it.

[John Nelson's Wife]

Let's lets put him back in the basement and go back to bed.

[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

I only hope he's housebroke.

[Narrator]

And there you are folks. Another adventure with the little man inside. Listen again Wednesday as we follow the adventures of John Nelson and his little man inside. And Wednesday night, meet Mary Nelson, John's sister. Listen to this unusual new program, Wednesday and Friday, same time, same station. This is the American Broadcasting Company.

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[John Nelson (Little Man Inside)]

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[John Nelson's Wife]

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