Lux Radio Theatre - Maisie Was a Lady

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Lux Radio Theatre – "Maisie Was a Lady"

Original Broadcast Adaptation | June 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features a full-cast adaptation of "Maisie Was a Lady" from the famed Lux Radio Theatre, introduced and produced by Cecil B. DeMille. Starring Ann Sothern as the big-hearted, quick-witted Maisie, with Lou Ayers, Maureen O’Sullivan, and Henry Stevenson reprising their roles, this brisk comedy-of-manners follows Maisie’s misadventures as she’s swept from the carnival circuit into the troubles and intrigues of a wealthy household. The show balances screwball humor with emotional resonance as themes of class, loneliness, integrity, and redemption unfold.

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Key Discussion Points and Plot Highlights

1. Opening & Introduction to Maisie (00:48 – 03:19)

• Introduction (Cecil B. DeMille): A background on Maisie’s screen success and popularity as a character. She’s “a smart girl who can’t be kept down,” and tonight’s play is described as one of her finest adventures.
  • Quote (00:48): “You can't keep a smart girl down.” – Cecil B. DeMille

2. Maisie’s Carnival Debut & Trouble with Bob (03:19 – 09:46)

• Maisie works as “Marva, the Headless Woman” in a carnival sideshow – until she loses her “job” after Bob Ralston disrupts the act.

• She is left stranded, unpaid, and confronts Bob. Despite their bickering, Bob offers her his car so she can return to New York – a gesture that soon lands her in more trouble with the law for driving without a license or formal permission.

  • Memorable Exchange (04:34 – 04:47):

    • Maisie: “Let me at him. I'll knock his ears off.”
    • Doc (Carnival Boss): “You're the headless woman. Will you please shut up?”

  • Humor (06:00):

    • Maisie: “There isn't enough heart between the two of you to decorate a valentine on the head of a pin.”

3. The Courtroom and Fate’s Twist (09:46 – 13:37)

• In court, Bob initially doesn’t recall lending the car, but Maisie’s candor and Bob’s eventual honesty win the judge’s sympathy.
• Instead of jail, Maisie is given a two-month employment with Bob at $25 a week—as compensation for her lost job.
  • Quote (12:00):
    • Maisie: “I don’t take money from anybody. Not unless I earn it.”

4. Maisie the Maid: Entering High Society (15:00 – 28:49)

• Maisie is brought to the Ralston mansion to work as the maid, to the surprise of the household, including the prim butler Walpole and Bob’s sister, Abigail (“Abby”).

• Maisie’s vibrant, irreverent style clashes with the stuffy conventions and snobbery of the household and its social circle.

  • Notable Comedy (17:09 – 17:16):

    • Maisie: “If you mean have I got any ground grippers, no... These are my wedgies, and they got the toes in, but the heels out.”

  • Scene of Maisie encountering snobbish guests—which ends with Maisie refusing to be paid off just to leave.

    • Quote (26:00):
      • Maisie to Abby: “If that isn’t good enough for you, just say so. I’ll go with exactly what I brought here. Two dimes, a suitcase, and a talent for picking the jinxes.”

• Eventually, Abby softens and offers Maisie the role of “personal maid,” suggesting a budding friendship.

5. Maisie and Abby: Kindred Spirits, Different Worlds (28:49 – 31:03)

• Shared girlhood pains and candid late-night conversations reveal Maisie’s heart and Abby’s vulnerability (“Pigtail Abigail, funny face but lots of kale”).
• Maisie discovers Abby’s emotional struggles and isolation despite her privilege; establishes a sisterly bond.

6. Bob Ralston’s Troubles & Past (31:03 – 38:49)

• Bob, often inebriated and charming but aimless, reveals layers to his character. Walpole the butler tries to convince Maisie of Bob’s early promise as an airplane-design prodigy, who was derailed after returning lonely to an empty home at Christmas.
  • Quote (38:00):
    • Walpole: “He would be one of the leading airplane designers in America today if he'd remained to graduate.”
  • Maisie’s Wisdom (38:49):
    • Maisie: “Yeah, the phase on the barroom floor. Goodnight, Wally.”

7. Drama: The Engagement, Deceit, and Crisis (39:02 – 45:00)

• Abby receives a necklace from her absent father (“Cap”) instead of his presence at her engagement. Abby and her fiancé Link Phillips plan to elope.

• Rival Diana exposes Link’s infidelity and gold-digging motives. Abby’s world collapses.

  • Showdown (42:22 – 43:18):
    • Diana to Abby: “Mr. Link Phillips just jilted me for the Ralston million.”
    • Abby: “I've always thought there was something wrong with me because no one ever liked me... But it wasn’t. Link didn’t love me. Those people, they were pretending because of the money. Just like him. And I haven’t changed one bit.”

• Abby, in despair, attempts suicide (43:45–45:36), but Maisie and the household discover her in time.

8. Confrontation & Emotional Reckoning (50:06 – 53:18)

• The next morning, Maisie confronts Abby’s father and Bob for their emotional neglect:
  • Maisie’s Speech (51:54 – 53:18):
    • “She’s been starving and freezing in this Grand Central Station of a House for 18 years... In my neighborhood, when a man beat his kids, he knew he was beating them... Well, for my money, giving them the flat of your hand. Stacks are pretty good against giving them nothing. And that's what you've given Abby—nothing.”

9. Bittersweet Resolution and New Beginnings (54:03 – 57:44)

• Abby recovers; Maisie is invited to become Abby’s “personal companion,” a true friend, not a servant.
• Bob pledges to make changes and hopes to be worthy of Maisie in the future.
  • Bob (55:42):
    • “There are going to be some changes made. And when they are made, I'll have a whole lot more to say to you.”
  • Maisie (55:08):
    • “From the Hutkins Carnival to Honolulu inside of a month, the land of opportunity is right.”

10. The Finale: Independence and Love (57:58 – 60:15)

• In classic Maisie fashion, she heads off to work elsewhere—independent again—but Bob tracks her down to ask her to return, confessing his love and ambitions.

• The play ends with a promise of romance and mutual respect.

  • Bob (58:41): “What's the idea of making me comb this city for six solid weeks trying to find you?”
  • Maisie (59:12): “No. I was dreaming along there for a while and then I came to and got that pink cloud out of my eyes. No, honey, the old crack still goes: east is east.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Maisie’s Defiance:
  “I don’t take money from anybody. Not unless I earn it.” — Maisie (12:00)
• On Privilege and Loneliness:
  “She’s been starving and freezing in this Grand Central Station of a House for 18 years…” — Maisie (51:54)
• Thematic Conclusion:
  “From the Hutkins Carnival to Honolulu inside of a month, the land of opportunity is right.” — Maisie (55:08)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------| | 00:48 | Introduction by DeMille | | 03:19 | Carnival scene & Maisie loses job | | 09:46 | Courtroom sentencing | | 13:37 | Maisie arrives at the Ralston mansion | | 24:59 | Maisie's struggle to fit in as a maid | | 28:49 | Bonding with Abby | | 31:03 | Bob's character and history | | 39:02 | Abby receives the necklace, elopement plans | | 42:22 | Diana's confrontation with Abby | | 45:36 | Abby’s suicide attempt | | 50:06 | Maisie confronts Bob and Cap | | 54:03 | Abby recovers, Maisie is befriended | | 57:58 | Maisie’s departure and Bob’s declaration | | 60:15 | Curtain call and cast talk |

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Final Thoughts & Tone

The adaptation, true to Maisie's sparkling spirit, blends sharp wit with social commentary, celebrating self-reliance, compassion, and the power of honesty. The original cast’s lively performances, particularly Ann Sothern’s blend of comedy and heart, anchor the episode as both a period piece and an emotionally resonant story. The show closes with promises of hope, friendship, self-improvement, and a classic Hollywood romance on the horizon.

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For fans of old radio, screwball comedies, or stories about finding one’s place regardless of background, this episode is both a time capsule and a timeless listen.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Share your own version of Gotta Be Us with the hashtag BeThePeopleOpenCall before July 12th for a chance to record it in a studio and be heard by music execs. No purchase necessary. Open June 18 through July 12, 2026, to legal residents in the U.S. 16 minors require parental consent. See Be the PeopleOpenCall.com for details.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

Sponsored by Bigger Picture U.S. lux presents Hollywood. The lux radio theater brings ann southern, lou ayers, maureen o' sullivan and henry stevenson in maisie was a lady. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil b. Demille.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Once upon a time, there was a picture called Maisie. Not a million dollar production, just one of modest pretensions, hoping for a modest success. But Maisie was played by a clever young actress named Anne Southern. And so the modest success became a pot of gold and everybody lived happily ever after. Especially Maisie, who became the heroine of four more pictures and is still going strong. All of which go to show that you can't keep a smart girl down. One of the most popular of all the Maisies, that's the studio name for them over at Metro, Golden Mayor, is the comedy Maisie Was A Lady. And that's the play we've selected to salute this remarkable young lady's debut in the Lux Radio Theatre tonight. And our cast is the same group of stars who made the picture. Ann Southern as Maisie, of course, Lou Ayers and Maureen o'. Sullivan. And with them we have Henry Stevenson. Maisie herself is a chorus girl, but a bit more versatile than the average. In the beginning of tonight's play, for instance, she has a temporary connection with the circus where she gives a sterling performance as the headless woman. It's an odd way to begin an adventure with the upper crust of society. But that's Maisie for you. For about two years, letters have been piling up asking for one of these stories until the stack finally reached the height where it said, get Maisie or else that many good customers for Luxe Toilet soap can't be wrong. For some reason or other, many of your letters begin. I suppose this will go into somebody's wastebasket, but here's a suggestion anyway. I can assure you that every one of your letters is red. And any suggestion you make gets full consideration. One look at my letter files would convince you. In fact, it'd probably stagger you if you had to move one of them. We have a complete record of everything you've told me about this theater and our product since we went on the air. I couldn't begin to tell you all the good things you've said about Luxe Toilet Soap. But I don't need to, because it speaks for itself. And so does Maisie. The curtain rises now on the first act of Maisie Was a Lady, starring Ann Southern as Maisie, Lou Ayers as Bob, Maureen o' Sullivan as Abby, and Henry Stevenson as Walpole. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Step right up.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

The line forms on the right as we present the greatest sideshow attraction in Hudkins Three Ring Circus. Marva, the headless woman. Marva? She has no head, folks. But Marva lives and breathes like you and me. Yes, folks, on the inside is Marva. And on the inside is Dr. Willis, the famous scientist who explains this strange phenomenon. Don't delay, folk. Don't delay. See Marva, the wonder of the age.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Marva, the headless headland. I don't believe it. Just step right up, folks. Step right up. Before your eyes is Marva. Hey, Chester. Marva's the first woman in history to lose her head and never know the difference. Notice that her hands can move, her feet can wiggle, and yet from the neck up, she is pure thin air.

[Bob Ralston]

Amazing. No head. No head whatsoever.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Now, don't get too close, buddy. Just stand back a little, please.

[Bob Ralston]

A woman that got no head.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

See, I'm explaining that phenomenon, buddy. Now, it's amazing.

[Bob Ralston]

No head. How's she breathing?

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Listen, buddy, if you're looking for a bar, there's a nice little place just off the midway. Notice, folks, that Marva is a living, breathing hu.

[Bob Ralston]

Well, I can't understand her. No head. Is she ticklish?

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Will you shut up?

[Bob Ralston]

Is Marva ticklish? I just.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Yeah. Put down that cane.

[Bob Ralston]

Scientific experiment.

[Link Phillips]

Experiment.

[Bob Ralston]

Does she laugh as she's tickled?

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Marva cannot see or hear or laugh. Now beat it.

[Bob Ralston]

Gotta find out.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, Tickle, tle, tle.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Now shut up, you dumb game.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Some don't just poke me in the ribs.

[Bob Ralston]

Hey, she's Tickle. He's all right.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Ladies and gentlemen, please listen.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Who did it? Are you the guy who poked me?

[Bob Ralston]

Good evening. My name.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I had to poke you right in the nose.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Shut up.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Let me at him. I'll knock his ears off.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

You're the headless woman. Will you please shut up? What a flop you turned out to be. Why'd you have to squawk, anyway?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I couldn't help it, Doc.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

This was the best yap act in the outfit. Two bits of take and turning them away.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Gee, Doc, I'm awful sorry, but it won't hurt business none. In the next town, he was tickling me and I guess I was kind of jumpy. You know, my first day's working so long, you can understand how it was. Hey, Doc.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Doc, where are you? Here, boss, in here. Well, what happened to this damn ball up the act. I'll say she did.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Come here, you.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Ow. Lego. My arm.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Are them rubes really took me apart out there. Until I give him back that dude. Bitch.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You're hurting my arm.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Get your stuff and get out before I break something over your conch.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Okay, I get the idea. Just don't try to back it up with any strong arm display, buddy. I got quite a technique in the clinches myself. Well, who settles up with me? I got 355 coming and the train fare back to New York.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

On your way, sister. Beat it.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, look, forget the train fare, But I gotta have my pay. Gee, this leaves me in an awful jam. Oh, come on, have a heart.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Go on, scram.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Have a heart. That's a laugh. There isn't enough heart between the two of you to decorate a valentine on the head of a pin. Go ahead, leave me flat broken, stranded. Take my 355 and go out and buy yourselves a couple of drinks. But as long as I'm buying them, do me a favor. Be sure they're good and strong and poured out of a battle marked rat poison.

[Bob Ralston]

I beg your pardon. Could you tell me where the parking lot is located?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, so it's you again. What are you doing around here?

[Bob Ralston]

I am temporarily lost. I. Well, if it isn't the headless beauty.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

It isn't anymore, thanks to you and your swell sense of humor. That little joke of yours cost me my job.

[Bob Ralston]

My child, those who scoff at science are destined to fail.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, yeah? Well, how would you like a good science Kicking her pants.

[Bob Ralston]

Now, now, now, please control yourself.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Let go. Let me go.

[Bob Ralston]

Now, now, now, let's let bygones be bygones. Come on, have a little drink with me and we'll talk this thing over.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Thanks all the same. Maybe life's a jolly Fourth of July picnic to you, but it certainly isn't to me. You canceled out my meal ticket. It's the middle of the night and I got exactly two dimes and 45 miles between me and New York. Well, what are you going to do about it?

[Bob Ralston]

Do you want to get back to the city? Oh, that's easy. I'll take you.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

How piggyback no, no, no, no, no.

[Bob Ralston]

In my car. Come on. What do you say?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

In a word? No. I don't have to see a newspaper picture of the accident to know how I'd look sprinkled all over the highway. Well, what's the next idea?

[Bob Ralston]

I know. You take my car. Sure. You take my car and I go home in a cab. Then nobody gets sprinkled around.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Is that offer on the level?

[Bob Ralston]

Certainly. Now, here. Here's the ticket. It's a convertible coupe.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Wait a minute. That's not your car over there, is it? That long thing?

[Bob Ralston]

That's it.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Boy, that's some buggy. What do I do with it when I get back to the city?

[Bob Ralston]

Just drop it off at the Carlton.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

The Carlton Hotel? Gee, you must be filthy rich, mister.

[Bob Ralston]

Let us just say I am rich.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Okay. So long. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Bob Ralston]

Kiss me goodbye, my sweet, or we shall never see each other again.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, yes, we will, honey. I got a bad habit of looking at the dummies in department store windows.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Hello.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hello there. Evening, officer.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Hiya, sister. Kind of new to this neighborhood, aren't you?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Brand new. This is my first visit, and I'm on my way out.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

You're from Brooklyn, ain't you?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, pegged it. South Brooklyn.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Friend of Ralston's.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Ralston's? Uh, never heard of them. Except maybe the Hutsuts. What street did they live on?

[Bob Ralston]

Don't get gay, lady.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Let's see your license.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What license?

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Your driver's license. Trot it out.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What's the idea? I was only doing 25 and over.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Your driver's license.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I would if I had one.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Where'd you get this car?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I borrowed it. Is that a crime? Oh, you borrowed it?

[Bob Ralston]

Who from?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

The fellow that owns it. At least he said it was his.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

What's his name?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I don't know. We weren't formally introduced.

[Bob Ralston]

And what's your name, sister?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I go by Maisie Revere, but my right name's Marianna Stacia o'. Connor. Oh, Nalia's.

[Bob Ralston]

He getting better looking every day.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You didn't pick yourself any cheap job, either. One of the Ralston's cars. Every cop on the pike between here

[Narrator/Storyteller]

and Montauk knows the Ralston's cars. So come on with me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, look, now, you got this all wrong.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

You can tell it to the judge in the morning.

[Bob Ralston]

Let's go.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Am I to understand that I'm under arrest?

[Bob Ralston]

Yeah, come on.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You know, there was a pinhead worked in the carnival with me. Funny, he never mentioned having a son on the police force? Well, I guess he had his pride, same as anybody.

[Bob Ralston]

Order.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Order here. Now, young lady, according to the owner of the car, he has no recollection of lending said vehicle to you.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, according to me. I don't care what he says.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Remain silent until the court questions you.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Say, is this a free country where a girl's got a right to ask a few questions on her own hook? Or has everything taken a turn for the worse since last night?

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Certainly this is a free country.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Then I'd like to know. Between me standing here and telling you I never stole so much as a hairpin in all my life and a guy so busy nursing a hangover he don't even know whether it's Thursday or rain. And whose words you're gonna take, mine or his?

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Mr. Ralston has already stated that he

[Link Phillips]

did not care to bring charges.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I call that bigger, Mr. Ralston.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

As to the other charges, driving without a license, resisting an officer, using abusive language and vagrancy.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Who's using abusive language? Now, there's limits to what a girl can take. That's not.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

But isn't it true that you are without funds, an address or present employment?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Listen, Judge, I had a job with the Hutkins Brothers Carnival. It was to last for two months at $25 a week. I lost that job through no fault of mine. But if you make me pay more on top of what I already paid for, what was this Ralston guy's fault? Every bit of it. You won't be handing out justice.

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, you, Honor.

[Link Phillips]

Yes, Mr. Ralston?

[Bob Ralston]

Your Honor, when they first questioned me about my car, things were were a little hazy in my mind. In fact, I remembered almost nothing last night. But since listening to Ms. Revere. Thank you. To Ms. Revere and all the evidence, I can remember enough now to feel sure that what she says is probably true. I'm terribly sorry if I was responsible And I hope Ms. Revere will accept my apologies. Apologies?

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

It's high time you realized that your adolescent behavior is a source of annoyance to every self respecting citizen in this community. This last escapade has had very serious consequences. And I hold you directly responsible for

[Link Phillips]

this young woman's predicament.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Therefore, this court orders you to attempt to make amends by reimbursing her immediately with the sum she would have earned in gainful employment.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No, no, not me. Thang's all the same. But I don't take money from anybody. Not unless I earn it.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Very well, Mr. Ralston, you will employ Ms. Revere for two months at $25 per week in a job that is congenial to her.

[Bob Ralston]

But your honor, you. You know I haven't any employment to offer. I haven't any business.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

You will make it your business to give her employment according to the orders of this court.

[Link Phillips]

All charges dismissed.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Case closed. Gee, gee, judge, you turned out to be a human after all. Thanks, Judgy. Would you mind telling me where we're going?

[Bob Ralston]

Not at all. I'm taking you home.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Whose home?

[Bob Ralston]

My home.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Uh oh.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Maybe this whole thing wasn't such a hot idea. He said you had to give me a job.

[Bob Ralston]

That's what I'm going to do. But I'm not in any business, so all I can do is find something for you out at the house.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What, for instance?

[Bob Ralston]

To be perfectly frank, I don't know. But I lost you your job and I'm sincerely sorry about it. So it's up to me to find something. What about fixing flowers for $25 a week?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Listen, during that dough, I ought to grow them for you and bring my own bees. Look, you and your folks eat at home, don't you?

[Bob Ralston]

Sure, sometimes.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, then, couldn't you use someone extra to put it on the table and wash it up? I'd be okay at that. I'm cleaning them quick.

[Bob Ralston]

Well, of course, if you don't mind doing some kind of housework. I just didn't like to suggest it.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What's the matter with housework?

[Bob Ralston]

Not a thing. I only thought, you know, well, being in theatrical work most of your life.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Can you do my kind of theatrical? And I mean for meat and potatoes, not for glory. Okay, mister, you got a new maid.

[Bob Ralston]

Swell.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Say, you know something?

[Bob Ralston]

What?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

It's hard to believe. What is the change in you since yesterday? Are you really this nice or are you afraid of the judge?

[Bob Ralston]

Well, I. I'm not afraid of the judge.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What were you celebrating last night?

[Bob Ralston]

Christmas Eve?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Uh oh, when you begin playing Santa Claus. The end of junior. In a bad way, mister.

[Bob Ralston]

Yeah, I guess. You are.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Beautiful for all of us.

[Bob Ralston]

Hands in the dirt hearts in the dust let's be the people, yeah we

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

enough to build again from the broken

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

trust we the ones still show enough holding hands when times are tough you and me yeah, we're enough

[Announcer]

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[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, good morning, Mr. Roberts.

[Bob Ralston]

Morning, Walpole. Sorry, I forgot my key.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes, sir. Good morning, Miss.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hello.

[Bob Ralston]

This is Miss Revere. Walpole.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

How are you, Walpole? I'm glad to meet you.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Thank you. How you do, Miss Revere.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

But you can just call me Maisie. I'd feel it more home if you both would. What do you call yourself? Mr. Alston. Bob.

[Bob Ralston]

That's right. A Walpole, miss. That is, Maisie is stopping with us for two months.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes, Mr. Robert.

[Bob Ralston]

At the salary of $25 a week.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes, Mr. Robert.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Look, maybe you better tell him I'm the new mate. He's getting funny ideas.

[Bob Ralston]

Yeah, yeah, of course. Maisie's our new maid, Walpole. Find something good for her, will you?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, anything you got open will do fine. I did a walk on as a maid in the show once, so I'll know how to act, even if the routine will be kind of knew at first.

[Walpole (Butler)]

You are a theatrical personage, miss.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I've been in show business most of my life.

[Bob Ralston]

Maisie Walpole'll take care of everything. So if you'll excuse me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, certainly, Bob. Go right ahead. I'll be seeing you around later.

[Bob Ralston]

Sure, sure, of course.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Follow me, miss.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You bet. Boy, some joint you got here.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Joint, miss?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, yeah. The lobby of Radio City's got nothing on this. Say, is Bob live here all alone, Miss?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Maisie, you mustn't.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, you mean he's married?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, mercy me, no.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, well, go on.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Mr. Robert lives here with his father and with Miss Abigail, his sister.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Only three people in all this space. How do they find their way around? Drop pebbles. A. Walpole?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Reporting for duty, Mr. Walpole. How do I look in a maid's outfit?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Good heavens.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Say, you're kind of pale. Is anything wrong?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, dear me. The earrings. Of all the jewelry, it just is not worn when one is in uniform.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, well, I'll peel it off if that's the case. But I must say, I'm going to look kind of undressed.

[Walpole (Butler)]

And your shoes. Your toes. Your toes are protruding. Haven't you got a more conservative pair?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, if you mean have I got any ground grippers. No, it's. These are my wedgies, and they got the toes in, but the heels out.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Wedgies? No, no, no, no. Oh, well, those. You are Wearing, by all means. Please don't misinterpret my criticism. It's only that we must be most discreet. Now of all times.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Why now? Anything going on?

[Walpole (Butler)]

A great deal. We have a house full of guests.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, I didn't see any company.

[Walpole (Butler)]

No, they're being served breakfast at the swimming pool. And more guests are arriving tomorrow for the engagement dinner.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, so Bob's engaged Mr. Robert?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, no, no, no. It's not Mr. Robert. It's Ms. Abigail whose engagement will be announced.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

That's nice.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Well, that's Miss Abigail. I must go at once. Excuse me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hey, what about me? I'm supposed to be working here.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, yes. Take that bowl of flowers upstairs to the console table in the west corridor of the south wing.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You got a map?

[Walpole (Butler)]

And. And use the back stairs, of course. Are you sure you'll be all right?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, don't you worry your cute little head about me. I'll see you around, Wally. Come in.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Morning, Miss Abbey.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Good morning, Walpole. Oh, isn't this the most beautiful day?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Indeed it is, Miss Abbey.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I rang for you because I was wondering. I haven't heard from Father yet, and I thought perhaps the telegram might have come that was overlooked in all the excitement.

[Walpole (Butler)]

No, Miss Abbey. No telegram has come.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, I see.

[Walpole (Butler)]

But I feel certain your father will be coming after all. A dinner party announcing the engagement of his daughter. That. That is indeed a most important occasion, Miss Abby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Of course, it's silly of me to worry, isn't it? Walpole, have you seen Mr. Phillips?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Mr. Phillips had breakfast in his room. I believe he wished to wait until you were ready before going down to the pool.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, I didn't know he was waiting. I'll go and find him.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Thank you, Walpole.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Not at all, Ms. Ev.

[Link Phillips]

Well, good morning.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, mister, could you please tell me which is the camisole table?

[Link Phillips]

The camisole table? Well, now I'll tell you. The console table is that one over there.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, thanks, bud.

[Link Phillips]

You don't know your way around very well, do you, Peggy?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I know my way all around. And the name is not Peggy, Charlie.

[Link Phillips]

The name isn't Charlie either. It's Phillips. Link Phillips. I'm a guest here.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

That's nice. Goodbye.

[Link Phillips]

Oh, wait a minute. What are you made up for? You're an old maid. What is this, a rib of some kind?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, a county judge down at Bell Harbor. He's very comical, keeping stitches. A judge?

[Link Phillips]

I don't get it.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, pardon my frankness, but I don't care if you get it or not. Out of My way, brother.

[Link Phillips]

Don't go just as fresh as. You're cute, aren't you?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hmm. We used to have a saying on our block. I'd rather be fresh than stale. Oh, we girls used to say that to nasty little boys. It's a corny old crack, but it's still good enough.

[Link Phillips]

Coming, darling? We'll spar a couple of more rounds later. Goodbye.

[Diana]

So long.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hello, Ling.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

It was sweet of you to wait for me.

[Link Phillips]

Why, never mind waiting, Abby, if it's for you. What, no kiss this morning?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Of course, darling.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

How's that?

[Link Phillips]

Wonderful. Come on.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, everybody to his own taste, said the old lady as she kissed the cow.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

In just a few minutes, Mr. DeMille and our stars, Ann Southern, Lu Ayers, Maureen Assault Sullivan and Henry Stevenson will return in Act 2 of Maisie was a Lady. And now, here's a young couple leaving a football game on a windy November day. It's so blustery, in fact.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, Jim, something just blew into my eye. Oh, it hurts.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Let me get my handkerchief, Jane. Now hold still a minute. Yep, there it is. A big black speck. There, I've got it. Not bad on first aid, huh? Gosh, but your skin's smooth.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

Say, don't you think the doctor rates a kiss?

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Maybe.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

Who could blame Jim? It's true. There's something completely irresistible about a smooth, really lovely complexion. And Jane's one of those girls whose skin can pass the close up test. Skin so appealing and flower fresh that when another's eyes come close, why, they just can't help but admire. You want skin that's lovely to look at, soft to touch. Why not let Hollywood's famous beauty soap help you to have it? Fine white luxe toilet soap has active lather that removes every trace of dust, dirt and stale cosmetics. Rich, creamy lather that leaves skin feeling petal smooth. Here in Hollywood, 9 out of 10 famous screen stars use luxe toilet soap as a complexion care. They know they can depend on its mildness, its purity. Here's what lovely Rita Hayworth says.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

A screen star has to have soft, smooth skin. I always use luxe toilet soap because the right complexion care is important.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

Yes, and it's mighty important what soap you use for your own precious complexion. You want a soap that's really gentle and mild. A soap whose creamy lather leaves skin feeling soft looking lovely enough to pass the close up test. That's why every woman ought to try luxe toilet soap. Why not get three cakes of this smooth white soap tomorrow. Use it regularly for 30 days. It's a safe bet you'll make the beauty soap of the star all beautiful

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

for all of us.

[Bob Ralston]

Hands in the dirt, hearts in the dust let's be the people, yeah we

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

enough to build again from the broken

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

trust we the ones still showing up holding hands when times are tough. You and me yeah we're enough

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

all

[Announcer]

of us can make an impact yeah even you Listen to the full Gotta Be Us song and Be the People share playlists to get inspired When Maintaining

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[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

Now our producer, Mr. DeMille Act 2

[Narrator/Storyteller]

of Maisie was a Lady starring Ann Southern as Maisie, Lou Ayers as Bob, Maureen o' Sullivan as Abby, and Henry Stevenson as Walpole. Maisie, the former headless woman, is really losing her head as a housemaid for the guests at the swimming pool have got sight of her in earrings and open toed shoes and they're impolite enough to laugh. With murder in her eyes, Maisie curls her lip in scorn and then storms back into the house.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

That gang of nitwits. Who do they think they are?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Maisie, you should have removed those things.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What things?

[Walpole (Butler)]

The jewelry. You must take it off.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Listen, for two cents I take off the whole outfit and sit out the summer in Central Park. How long you been serving time here, Walpole?

[Walpole (Butler)]

I have been the ralston butler for three 30 years.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

30 years. Boy, have you taken your beating like a man. Say, who are those assorted nuts out of the pool anyway?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Maisie, those young people are Ms. Abby's guests. They're her friends. You mustn't speak disrespectfully of them.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Listen, Walpole, I've spent my last 20 years learning how to spot phony. So when the label reads imitation, why not say so out loud? You don't like them, do you?

[Link Phillips]

Shh.

[Bob Ralston]

Please.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Please.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, Miss Abby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Your name is.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

That's right, ma'. Am.

[Walpole (Butler)]

This is Miss Ralston, Miss Abigail.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, you're his sister, ma'.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Am.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Yes. My brother told me how you happened to be here.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yes, ma'. Am.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Bob was to see that you had employment for two months at $25 a week. Wasn't that the arrangement?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

And I had it coming to me after what he put me through. And that was the judge's idea, too.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I think Judge Thatcher was perfectly right. But really, I can't expect you to do this sort of work. It isn't fair to you or to my guests. So perhaps we can solve everything by paying you now in advance. And that will leave you free to find something more suitable.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Why don't you come right out in plain English and say you want me out of here? Oh, but that boy. I told your brother it was a job or no dice. That happens to be the way I operate, ladies, strange as it sounds. And when I put on this outfit, all I expected was $25 a week and halfway decent treatment in return for doing my best. But if that isn't good enough for you, just say so. I'll go with exactly what I brought here. Two dimes, a suitcase, and a talent for picking the jinxes.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, please, I'll. I only suggested the money because I thought you'd be happier having it that way.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I bet you came hot footing it up here from the pool, all worked up about making me happy. You came up here to pay off nature's mistakes so your guests wouldn't be embarrassed looking at her.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, no, please. Oh, don't feel that way.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, well, maybe I don't know the ins and outs of being a maid, but that crowd of yours wouldn't be held over for a second week. In some spots I've played.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

If they were rude to you. If we were rude to you, I'm sorry.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Ah, skip it. Looking back on it, I didn't behave so hot myself down there just now with you. But your brother lost me a job yesterday. Today he's very swell and very sorry, and I thought this job would be okay. Now it's curdled on me. You can't blame me for being burned up.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

No, I don't blame you a bit, Maisie. I'd be burnt up myself. Only please don't go. I know just how you feel about not wanting to take the money without working for it. Really, I do.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, well, maybe you do it that, but in eight weeks, I'd tangle with one of those goldfish down by the pool, just as sure as fate they'd give me that. Well, darling, she's too, too laughable. I mean, really. And I'd give em a right cross.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, Maisie, I'm sure that won't happen again. Look, here's an idea. Nora's been taking care of me. She's my personal maid, but she's very busy with the house so full. Wouldn't you try that job?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, being your personal dresser, you mean, huh?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, yes. I'm sure you'd find it pleasant.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I might give it a trial. Okay, Miss Abigail. It's a deal. Good night.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Good night. Good night, everyone.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Good night, Link.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Sleep well.

[Link Phillips]

Good night, darling.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Link, do you really think Father will come?

[Link Phillips]

Abby, I'm beginning to feel a bit jealous of Cap. After all, he is your father. But I don't want anyone on your mind but me.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, there won't be.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Ever.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Good night.

[Link Phillips]

Good night, sweetie.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hello, Miss Abigail.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Why, Maisie, I didn't expect you to wait up for me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, that's perfectly okay. It's part of the job. And I made up my mind not to miss a cue, Miss Abigail.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, that's very kind of you, Maisie. Only, please, just call me Miss Abby, will you?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Sure, Miss Abby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

You know, I've always hated the sound of my name, ever since my first boarding school. Yeah, the girls used to have a rhyme. They teased me with pigtail.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Abigail.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Funny face but lots of kale. Can you imagine a silly little rhyme like that, making me hate my name? Well, I guess I've still got that funny face.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Ah, go on. I remember one the South Brooklyn punks used to try out on me when I was a kid. Bed slat, brickbat. Mary o', Connors, a polecat. That's my real name. Mary Anastasia o', Connor, after my mother's favorite sister.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, I see. And did the rhyme hurt your feelings?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Ah, not mine. I was a pretty good amateur rock thrower in those days. I had to be. You see, I. Hey, speaking of rocks. Now, don't tell me this stuff is all the real thing.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

What stuff?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

All those jewels in your vanity. Are they the McCoy?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Well, they're diamonds, if that's what you mean. Presents from my father.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, all of them. Yes.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

You see, he's had to be away a lot, and he's always so sorry when he can't be here for special occasions.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You mean every time it's your birthday or something like that and he can't make it, he sends you one of those?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

That's right.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Gee, I'd certainly have a lot of special occasions. And from the looks of it, he must have missed a lot of them. What does he do? He can't be a traveling salesman. Oh, no.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Father's very popular. He plays a wonderful game of golf and he loves to hunt and sail. He's. Oh, Cap leads a very exciting, busy life.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, sounds busy. Would you like to take another bath tonight?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

No, I won't bother. Good night, Maisie, and thank you for waiting up for me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Good night, Miss Abby. See you in the AM.

[Bob Ralston]

Three o' clock and all. Well, three o' clock and all.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, stay, Bob. Bob, take it easy.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

It's late.

[Bob Ralston]

Who's that? Maisie? Well, of all the people I could have met, the only one I wanted to meet, I met. Hiya.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hiya. Well, what are you celebrating tonight? Groundhog Day? No, no, no, no.

[Bob Ralston]

Christmas Eve. I'm loyal to Christmas Eve.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Say, it isn't always Christmas Eve with you, is it?

[Bob Ralston]

No, just almost always. Maisie, will you forgive my presuming on a brief acquaintance?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I don't know. That depends on what counts as presuming around here.

[Bob Ralston]

Well, I would like to venture the remark that you strike me as an ideal companion for Christmas Eve.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Mm.

[Bob Ralston]

That is my reasoned conclusion, and I stand by it. Yes. Good company, fun.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Thanks. I wish you'd said that sober, pal, but thanks always.

[Bob Ralston]

Now, let me take it a step further. You would also be a charming companion at a Roller Jack. A midget ought to race a Michaelmas. And though it would cause no end of consternation, though limousines would rear and lorgnettes would crash to the floor, you would grace my arm in the diamond horseshoe at the opening of the opera. Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, would we have fun.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, I get it. That little green man is here again.

[Bob Ralston]

In the words of George Noel Gordon, Lord Byron, there be none of beauty's daughters.

[Announcer]

Ahora mascol los ye vacada projecto al sigente niver ahora quince porciento nuna selection

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

de puertas entradas personalizadas Ademas aurora. Nueve dolares de los.

[Announcer]

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[Bob Ralston]

And with a magic like thee, in

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

the words of Maisie Lady Revere, get yourself a new stooge. I'm going to bed.

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, no, no, no. The night is young. Though we might stinkle. I'm young, too. Come on, Maisie. Sit down and chat with me. There. Now, I've listed your fine qualities. Tell me what you like about me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, there was a guy who spoke up in court when he didn't have to. I liked him fine.

[Bob Ralston]

Go on.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

And when that guy made a mistake and hurt somebody, he was man enough to own up to it. I liked that too, Sally. And he was so polite. Treated me like a lady.

[Bob Ralston]

A simple case of noblesse, please.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yep, looking back on him, he was a great guy. But, brother, that wasn't you.

[Bob Ralston]

Lady Vere de vere. I am one and the same. Your stratosphere prince, Flash Gordon.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Get out of my way, funny man. I'm going.

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, then take my advice and travel by air. It's the modern way. Safe, quick and quick.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Wait, wait, wait. I'll show you.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hey, where you going?

[Bob Ralston]

Up the stairs. Gotta get altitude, don't I? I'm gonna take a power down.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Listen.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Come back here. Look out below. Get off that banister. Don't slide down that banister. You'll break your silly neck. Look out.

[Bob Ralston]

Excuse me. Did I knock you down, you dope? I must have forgot to retract the landing gear. I'm dreadfully sorry. Allow me to assist.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, get away from me, you. I can get up by myself. Maisie Fox. What's the matter?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Down here.

[Bob Ralston]

Go away, Abby. Wrestling matches are no place for a woman. Is too brutal.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, Bob.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Maisie, I'm so sorry.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, it's not your fault, Bob.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Haven't you caused Maisie enough trouble and unhappiness already?

[Bob Ralston]

Well, that's what I'm trying to do. Make her happy. You're happy. Or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Why not her? That's the democratic way.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, Bob, stop it.

[Bob Ralston]

Who's that, Santa Claus?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

It might be Cap.

[Bob Ralston]

Cap? It's not Santa Claus, it's Cap.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Was that the bill, Ms. Abby?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I'll get it, Walpole.

[Bob Ralston]

Hey, Cap, is that You.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Abby, darling. Diana, of all people. I thought of it. Oh, Bob, It's Diana.

[Bob Ralston]

Diana. The plot thickens, isn't it?

[Diana]

Foul my barging in like this.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, Di, it's a wonderful surprise.

[Diana]

Quite a surprise, Bobby, dear.

[Bob Ralston]

Fine of my claws. How are yours?

[Diana]

Same old adorable Bobby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I thought you were in San Francisco, darling.

[Diana]

I was until I read about your engagement.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, is it in the newspapers already, angel?

[Diana]

Of course. And isn't it the most amazing piece of news?

[Bob Ralston]

Hmm? How'd you take it? Standing up or sitting down, Silly.

[Diana]

I was thrilled speechless. Oh, Walpole, how nice to see you.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Thank you, Miss Diana. The Venetian Room, Miss Abbey.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Bob will carry Miss Diana's bag, Walpole. And now you and Maisie must go to bed.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Please.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Very good, Ms. Abbey.

[Bob Ralston]

What's good about it? Night, Maisie. My sweetie pie.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah. Merry Christmas.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Come on, dad.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

There's so much I want to tell you, darling.

[Diana]

I should think there would be.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, that's the end of the day, I hope.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes, I believe it's safe to retire now.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What a place. Board is dropping in any old time. And if you ask me, that one seemed kind of anxious to get here. Yeah, and I noticed that Bob kind of gave her the old brush off too.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes, I'm afraid Mr. Roberts was not quite himself.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, yes, he was. It was this morning. He wasn't quite himself. For him, being sober and nice and making sense is a character part. That's the real Ralston. That speech making drunk.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, Maisie, no.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, Walpole.

[Sally]

Yes.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Mr. Roberts has a fine scientific mind.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Preserved in alcohol.

[Bob Ralston]

I sure.

[Walpole (Butler)]

I assure you, you're quite wrong.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Shall I show you my scars?

[Walpole (Butler)]

I've known him since birth.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, yeah, I know, but then again, all babies.

[Walpole (Butler)]

I realize it's late, but won't you step into my sitting room for a moment?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, Walpole, not you too.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

I beg your pardon?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No, I beg yours. A day here has done things to me. Come on, I'll go in with you.

[Walpole (Butler)]

I've kept a scrapbook of Mr. Roberts activities. He showed great promise once. Believe me, you're misjudging him. The easy chair is comfortable.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Thanks.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Now here's the book. All his old photographs. Now look at this one. Mr. Robert in 1920. He was six then.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

So he was on the wagon only 20 years ago.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Well, well, here he is with his first cup.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

He sure bought a man sized stein to begin on.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Well, that's a trophy. He won it in competition with 5,000 boys.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Doing what? Cutting out paper dolls?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Building the best model airplane in the Country, Maisie, he won that trophy for five straight years.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No.

[Walpole (Butler)]

In 1930, he went to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. His record was brilliant. He would be one of the leading airplane designers in America today if he'd remained to graduate.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I guess he didn't have time. Too busy leaping from jag to jag.

[Walpole (Butler)]

In his junior year, he won the McBride Scholarship, a signal honor, I assure you. It was then that he left. He came home that Christmas and never returned to college.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Christmas?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes. I was opening the Florida House. Mr. Ralston was visiting friends in Rio. Ms. Abbey was in school in Switzerland.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

And Master Robert was all alone. He got lit up like a Christmas tree. And he stayed that way ever since.

[Walpole (Butler)]

I could hardly be fonder of him if he were my own son.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hmm. If you ask me, Wally, it's too bad he isn't.

[Walpole (Butler)]

He's going through a phase, that's all. This is. Just a phase?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah. The phase on the bar room floor. Good night, Wally.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Good night.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, Miss Abby, this package just came for you. Oh, thank you, Maisie.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, it's from Coxy.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Here, let me help you. I never opened a package from Cartier's before. There's a card, Miss Abby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, let me see.

[Bob Ralston]

Oh.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Holy smokes, Will ya look at that. A necklace. And look at those diamonds. Gee, there must be a million of them. Hey, what's the matter?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

The card.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

It's from Cap. Your dad. Oh, does that mean he isn't gonna be here for tonight?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

He can't make it.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

He wishes me happiness. Oh, dear. I'm sorry, Miss Abby. I'm awful sorry. Come in, Maisie. Quick. Gee, what's happened? An hour ago, you were all in tears. I know.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Now I'm the happiest girl alive.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What's the grip for? You going away?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Yes, to be married.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

We're eloping. Oh. You and Mr. Phillips, you're going to get married today? Oh, yes.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I can hardly believe it myself.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, but, Miss Abbey, don't you think it wasn't romantic?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

And it was all Link's idea. Everyone will be here tonight to celebrate our engagement. And then we're going to send them a wire telling them to celebrate our marriage.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, do you think you should? I mean, isn't it awful sudden?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, that's what's so romantic about it. Now, listen carefully. Here's the key to my car. Go to the garage and get it out. Park it at the side door and leave the motor running. Link and I will be ready in just a few minutes. If I'm not here, I'LL be in his room. He's packing. Will you do that?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yes, Ms. Abbey. I only wish I could do more. Oh, thank you, Maisie.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Now hurry.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

And I wish I wasn't always getting hunches.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Hunches, Maisie? About what?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, nothing. Just hunches.

[Link Phillips]

Come in.

[Diana]

Hello, Lynn.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Packing?

[Link Phillips]

What do you want, Diana?

[Diana]

I want to talk to you. And I think you know about what.

[Link Phillips]

All right, Diana, let's get down to cases.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yes, let's.

[Link Phillips]

I had every intention of seeing you and. And explaining things. You know how I feel about you.

[Bob Ralston]

Go on.

[Diana]

You're doing fine.

[Link Phillips]

Look, Di, be sensible. Why should my marriage to Abby spoil anything between you and me? I know I've hurt you, darling, but

[Diana]

why you hurt me? If it were only that, it would be easy. Why, you couldn't hurt me. You've made me so sick with shame and disgust for the fool I've been, I can't even look in the mirror without getting nauseated.

[Link Phillips]

Well, I guess that's it. I'm sorry it had to end this way.

[Diana]

This isn't the end.

[Link Phillips]

What do you think you're going to do?

[Diana]

Oh, several things.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

One in particular.

[Diana]

Tell Abby a few of the sordid details.

[Link Phillips]

Careful, Di. Don't get too brave. Your bombshell may explode in your face.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Let go of me.

[Link Phillips]

Now listen.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Let me go, Guy. Link, what's the matter?

[Link Phillips]

Nothing. Abby. Let's get out.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, but you and Di were arguing. What's the trouble?

[Link Phillips]

I'll tell you about it in a car. Where's your grip?

[Diana]

So that's it. You're eloping. What a poor excuse for a human being you are. Link Phillips.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Diana.

[Diana]

Come on, Link, answer that one. Protect yourself. And don't fail to mention the trip I made to the coast. Five horrible weeks trying to get Uncle Alec to come consent to my marrying you without cutting off my allowance.

[Sally]

Marrying?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Blink.

[Link Phillips]

Abby, are you going to stand here and listen to this rot?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

No, I'm not.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

The car's ready, Ms. Abby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Thank you. Maisie, will you bring the grip from my room?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, I got it already. Here it is.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Goodbye, Diana.

[Diana]

Oh, Abby, for the love of heaven, wake up. Stop being deaf and blind while every one of your so called friends laugh at you. You're buying something. Something that will make you hate yourself. Take it from me, abby. I know Mr. Link Phillips just jilted me for the Ralston million.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Stop it. I don't want to hear anymore. That's a lie.

[Diana]

I did tell one small lie when I said I read about your engagement in the Paper? Well, I didn't. I read about it in a letter from Link. Let me share it with you, my darling. I'm engaged to marry Abby Ralston. I know you will understand the reason. Money was the only thing that stood between us and complete happiness. And we are both realists. Perhaps instead of the end, this is only the beginning. You're Link. Link?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

How could you do such a. I'm so ashamed.

[Link Phillips]

Oh, Abby, listen. Wait.

[Diana]

Oh, too bad, Link. Worse luck next time. Au revoir, darling.

[Link Phillips]

What are you looking at?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Nothing. I'm near sighted. I can't see that far down. Oh, look, Miss Abby, you gotta pull yourself together. Everyone knew.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Everyone's been laughing. Oh, Ms. Abby, they've always laughed. All my life.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, maybe we better shoot a wide here, Father, huh?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I've been deaf and blind, but I can see now. I can see myself. There's never been anyone. I always thought there was something wrong with me because no one ever liked me. At school, any place. And then when Link. It all began with Link. All of a sudden, it was so wonderful. Link loved me and I had all the friends in the world. Everything was different. But it wasn't. Link didn't love me. Those people, they were pretending because of the money. Just like him. And I haven't changed one bit.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Pigtail. Abigail. Funny face, but lots of. Don't, honey, please. Oh, Miss Abby. Miss Abby. You just sit tight. I'll be right back. Listen, Bob.

[Bob Ralston]

Hi. Amazing. Look, I'm flying.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I'll say you are. Look, Drip. Your sister's in trouble.

[Bob Ralston]

Double. Double. Title and trouble.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, keep quiet, keep quiet. Listen, she found out about Phillips. He was only after her money. And he doesn't love her and he never did.

[Bob Ralston]

Sure, sure.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You know what I'm trying to tell you. She's awful.

[Bob Ralston]

I know, I know, I know. I knew it all the time.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You knew it all but. Well, for crying out loud, you're her brother.

[Bob Ralston]

That's right, Cesar.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Brother.

[Bob Ralston]

Kim Folk.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, if I could only shake some sense into you. She's gone all to pieces, Bob. And she looks bad and she looks funny. I wish you'd. Oh, never mind. You wouldn't be any help.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Call the doctor. Call the doctor.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Get him here right away, you hear?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Wally, what's the matter?

[Walpole (Butler)]

It's Ms. Abby. I went into her room. She was lying there on the floor.

[Link Phillips]

She's.

[Walpole (Butler)]

She's taken poison.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. After a brief intermission, Mr. DeMille presents Anne Southern, Lou Wars, Maureen O' Sullivan and Henry Stevenson in Act 3 of Maisie Was a Lady. Why, here's our young friend, Sally. Well, tell me, Sally, did you have a nice Thanksgiving?

[Sally]

Yes, indeed, Mr. Ruig. You know, I think there's something to this two Thanksgivings idea. It gives you one day to be grateful for the big important things and another for the little things that make life pleasant and easier.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

I see what you mean, Sally. Like having all the cream you want

[Narrator/Storyteller]

for your morning coffee.

[Sally]

That's right, Mr. Ruig. But I was thinking of seeing a good movie. Or maybe tuning in the radio for some catchy music to get you up in the morning. Or just having modern bathrooms with plenty of hot water in them.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

And that leads me, Sally, I can hardly guess. Could it be straight to luxe toilet Soap?

[Sally]

Right again, Mr. Ruig. Because luxe soap is something that any girl can be grateful for. Why, every time I unwrap a smooth, fragrant white cake, I think, isn't it nice to be able to get all that luxury so easily?

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

Easily and inexpensively, Sally. But even though luxe toilet soap costs just a few cents a cake, it's as fine a soap as money can buy.

[Sally]

Yes, and just think how many active lather facials there are in a single cake.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

Well, that's an interesting thought, Sally. I'm sure it's something the ladies in our audience want to hear more about. Won't you tell them how to take the luxe soap facial?

[Sally]

Why, you just pat that wonderful luxe soap lather lightly in. It's so creamy and smooth. Why, it really seems to caress yourself. You rinse with warm water and follow with a dash of cool. Then pat to dry with a soft towel. Now, when you touch your skin, it feels beautifully smooth and soft. Looks so fresh, too.

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

There you are. Thank you, Sally. Here's an important thing about luxe toilet soap. It has creamy active lather that does a wonderful job. It removes stale cosmetics and every trace of dust and dirt thoroughly. Yes, this fine soap gives your complexion gentle cherishing care it needs. Try Luxoap Active lather facials for 30 days. They'll help you keep skin soft, smooth, appealing the way you want it to be. Now Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

The curtain rises on the third act of Maisie Was a Lady.

[Announcer]

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[Narrator/Storyteller]

It's late the same night, and Abby lies lingering between life and death. Her father has been summoned home, and now he paces the floor outside her room, nervously lighting one cigarette from another. At last he stops and faces Bob.

[Link Phillips]

Bob. Why did she do a thing like this?

[Bob Ralston]

I told you on the phone. She and Link broke up.

[Link Phillips]

I know, I know. But to try to. And young Phillips, I can't understand it. He seemed all right. Very likable boy. But Josh Phillips was a classmate of mine.

[Bob Ralston]

Yeah, that ought to be good enough.

[Link Phillips]

Look, Bob, you were here right along. Didn't you see how things were going?

[Bob Ralston]

Yes, I suppose I did. Frankly, I never thought much of.

[Link Phillips]

Well, why didn't you call me up or write me or talk to Abby?

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, I couldn't do that. I had nothing definite to go on. And Abby thought he was great, But I couldn't very well just go barging in and say, I don't like this guy, could I? She thought the world and all of him. And besides, I might have been wrong. Well, you can't go around telling people what they should do. They have to work things out for themselves.

[Link Phillips]

Yes, of course. I can see that.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You're quite right. Well, I see. I swear to heaven, I never heard anything to beat this.

[Walpole (Butler)]

What?

[Link Phillips]

Who is this girl?

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, this is Maisie Cap.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What kind of people are you, anyway? That girl is lying in there with her throat burned out with acid. They keep saying she doesn't respond to treatment. Doesn't respond, my foot. She doesn't want to live just a moment. She got mixed up with a heel, see? Oh, Bob knew he was a heel, but Bob couldn't knock his block off. No, Bob couldn't even go barging into his sister and say, I don't like this guy. He didn't know her well enough. She was only his sister. And you, Mr. Ralston, you didn't know what Phillips was like for all of you. He might have been Dracula, but his father was in your class, so that makes him okay. Now, look here, you shut up. I've only started. Sure, girls have been crossed up by men before. It's happened to me, but I always bounce back. But why couldn't Abby roll with it, cry her eyes out for a while and then say, well, that's that because he was everything to her the same. The sun, the moon and stars, the friend she never had, the family, everything. She's been starving and freezing in this Grand Central Station of a House for 18 years.

[Link Phillips]

What are you talking about?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I'm talking about a little kid who never had any love. Her mother's dead. She hasn't got a father to speak of. Oh, there's a guy named Cap who she sees every couple of years when every place else is closed. She knows he isn't dead cause he sends her jewelry. But when you're in a jam, you gotta have a shoulder to cry on and a hand to grab onto. A million bucks hasn't got a shoulder. Sure, sure. Her brother was here. He was here right along. He's drunk mostly.

[Link Phillips]

Bob.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Have you been?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, he has. And how. I guess maybe he was lonesome the same as her. It was Link Phillips for her and the bottle for him. Something hit him when he came home on Christmas Eve about six years back with a big prize under his arm and no one to show it to, not even Walpole.

[Link Phillips]

What is this, Bob?

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, McBride Scholarship. I guess I won a junior year.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Oh, yes.

[Link Phillips]

I remember something.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You remember something, huh? Yeah. Him and the second man got stiff that night. The second man sobered up. Master Robert stayed that way. Honest, I thought I'd seen my share of bad fathers and families that had nothing but grief, but compared to this outfit, they were sitting pretty. In my neighborhood, when a man beat his kids, he knew he was beating them. And the next day, like as not, he was sorry. Well, for my money, giving them the flat of your hand. Stacks are pretty good against giving them nothing. And that's what you've given Abby, Nothing. And there she is upstairs wanting to die. Cause she's got nothing.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Mr. Alston.

[Link Phillips]

Doctor, may I see Abby now?

[Narrator/Storyteller]

I'm not sure it's the best thing, mister.

[Announcer]

Well, I am.

[Link Phillips]

I've got to see her. There's things I want to tell her, and, well, I'm her father. Doctor, please.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Very well.

[Link Phillips]

Go up. Thank you.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Who is it?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Morning, Miss Abby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Hello, Maisie.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, you're all right now, huh?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Maisie? I'm marvelous. You met Cap.

[Link Phillips]

Good morning, Maisie.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Uh, hello. Gee, honey, you sure gave us a scare.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Cap told me something about last night.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, last night's forgotten all but the swell part of it. Everything's gonna break right for you from now on in.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

All I want for it is to keep on being just like this.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

It's gonna get better, even. There's some grand guy Walking around right now, only waiting to find you. And when he does, he'll follow you to the North Pole. If he has to.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

He won't have to.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Atta girl. Say, Mr. Ralston, now I look back on it. I laid it down pretty thick last night, that's me. I get sore and I let fly. If an apology's in order, I'm making it right now.

[Link Phillips]

Oh, come on now, Maisie. You'd say the same things and call me the same names tomorrow if you thought I had them coming to me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, I guess I would.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Maisie, we're going to go to Honolulu in a week or so.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, say, that's wonderful. You wouldn't be needing a maid, would you?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

No, I won't be needing a maid.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, listen, I was only kidding.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I need a companion, though.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I don't get you.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Not a personal dresser, a personal friend.

[Link Phillips]

Now, what we're trying to say, Maisie, is that we want you to come with us to Honolulu, then live with us here.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Oh, please, sir.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yes, well, don't worry. I will as soon as I get my breath.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

And no more uniform, Maisie, you're to be up on this floor near me.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Okay, Miss Abby.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

And no more Miss Abby.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Okay, Abby. Gee, from the Hutkins Carnival to Honolulu inside of a month, the land of opportunity is right. Well, I think I'll go now. If you'll excuse me, I want to pinch myself a few times. And if I wake up, will I be mad?

[Bob Ralston]

Maisie, sit down. I don't know how to say this except to just say it.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, say it.

[Bob Ralston]

Well, I can pretty well guess what kind of an impression I must have made on you. I know what I think of myself. But, Maisie, there are going to be some changes made. And when they are made, I'll have a whole lot more to say to you.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, Bob. Well, couldn't you kind of say it and block it out and fill in the details later on?

[Bob Ralston]

No, no, that's all, Maisie, for now. But I'll be around with plenty to say when you come back from Honolulu with Abby and Cap.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, you're not going?

[Bob Ralston]

Not on your life. I'm starting that repair job now. Well, will you go now, Maisie? Will you, for Pete's sake, take that silly, adorable face of yours out of my sight quick before you knock A set of good resolutions for her.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, honey, hurry up with those alterations, will you?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Mr. Robert, Ms. Abby's asking for you.

[Bob Ralston]

Thanks, Walpole. On my way.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Gee. Hiya, Wally.

[Walpole (Butler)]

May I congratulate you, Miss Macy.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Hey, not so fast. That's up for a while yet.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Miss Abby told me you were to be her companion starting today.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, that. Oh, yeah. Isn't that swell? Gee, so much good luck all at once has got me winging.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Yes, things are changing rapidly. I think there will be other clippings to add to my scrapbook now.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Yeah, Maybe even pictures of a wedding someday.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Oh, yes, yes, of course. Mr. Robert will marry someday.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What kind of a girl do you think he'll pick, Wally?

[Walpole (Butler)]

I really don't know. I don't know at all. She'll be beautiful. Of that I'm quite sure. Charming, intelligent, well bred.

[Diana]

What?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Someone who will fit perfectly into this house, whose fine background and education and good taste will help her to make it a home for him. And it is permissible to hope for their children. She will be a lady in the finest sense of the word.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, sure. Well, I got a couple of things

[Walpole (Butler)]

to do, so I. Oh, yes, yes, of course. You'll be moving upstairs. Would you wish someone to help you?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No, thanks, Walpole. I'm used to being on my own. Thanks, though. Thanks for everything.

[Walpole (Butler)]

You're quite welcome, Maisie.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, Lady Maisie, you can never say it wasn't wonderful while it lasted.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Maisie. Maisie.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

What's wrong, walpole?

[Walpole (Butler)]

Miss maisie, sir. She's gone.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

And 1 and 2 and kick and turn. And 1 and 2 and kick and turn. And 1 and 2 and kick and turn. All right, girls, all right. That'll do. Break it up. 10 o' clock tomorrow morning.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Nice work there, Macy.

[Bob Ralston]

You're doing swell.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Thanks, Mac.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Keep it up. I'm gonna ask the boss to raise you to 20 bucks next week.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, boy.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Go make your change and I'll buy you a hamburger.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No, thanks. I'm just gonna sit here and rest my dogs a minute.

[Carnival Barker/Doc Willis]

Okay. Be snooty.

[Link Phillips]

I won't be lonesome.

[Bob Ralston]

Hello.

[Diana]

Bye.

[Bob Ralston]

What's the idea of making me comb this city for six solid weeks trying to find you? What made you think you could get away from me? Oh, Bob.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

What did you have to do this for? Just when I was getting so I didn't think of you even sometimes for as long as an hour. Oh, just go away, will you, and leave me alone?

[Bob Ralston]

Come on, Maisie, get your other clothes on. I'll tell the manager you're through.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No.

[Bob Ralston]

Yes.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

I say no. And I know what I'm talking about.

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, you just think you know. Oh, I can guess what went through that squirrely little head of yours, but it's all bunk, Maisie, bunk. And get it out of your mind for good.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No. I was dreaming along there for a while and then I came to and got that pink cloud out of my eyes. No, honey, the old crack still goes east. Is east.

[Bob Ralston]

Oh, now, will you stop quoting Kipling? Look, hurry up. Chasing you has lost me plenty of sleep. And the Factory opens at 8 in the morning.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

The factory?

[Bob Ralston]

That's right. We make airplanes. Well, you've heard of airplanes. Come on. Come on.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Mama, I've been over all this. There's only one answer for the both of us.

[Bob Ralston]

That's right, and I've got it.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

No.

[Bob Ralston]

Then add it all up again because you've made a mistake.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You've got no right to come in here and get me all upset so as I don't know whether I'm sitting or standing or what. Just when I was getting myself straightened out so good.

[Diana]

Now I don't know what I'm doing.

[Bob Ralston]

You're doing what I tell you, and

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

you can't give me yours.

[Bob Ralston]

Yes, I can. From now on, what are you going

[Link Phillips]

to do about it?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Oh, honey, what do you think?

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Stars like Ann Southern, Lou Ayers, Marino Sullivan and Henry Stevenson make producing the lux radio theater a joy instead of a job? The stage is yours, mates.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Thank you, Mr. DeMille. And Maisie thanks you, too.

[Bob Ralston]

It's people like Maisie who make the world go around a little faster.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

In fact, she leaves even a veteran of Tarzan pictures like me a little bit breath.

[Walpole (Butler)]

I guess these youngsters have no stamina.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

CB It's a coincidence, Henry, that we have three of Hollywood's most popular series represented here tonight. Besides Maisie, there's Maureen, who has been Mrs. Tarzan for several years. And Louis, of course, is that brilliant young medico, Dr. Kildare.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Well, you might have retitled the play Tarzan's mate. Calling Dr. Kildare to see if Maisie was a lady.

[Bob Ralston]

Anne and I discovered another coincidence during rehearsal. We went to high school together back in Minneapolis.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

An orchid to Minneapolis for sending us both Maisie and Dr. Kildare.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

And here's one more coincidence for you, Mr. DeMille. I bet Ann Southern and I use the same soap.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

And what soap would that be, Maureen?

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

I mean, Lux soap, naturally. What about it, Anne?

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

You're right. But it's no accident. Millions of women have picked Lux soap as a help in keeping their skin soft and smooth. That's just good judgment.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Two such lovely ladies can't be wrong. Especially about Luxeau.

[Walpole (Butler)]

And now I know the audience is anxious to hear about next week.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

CB There's a lot to talk about, Henry. Because our play next week is A Man's Castle. And starring in the same part he played in the Columbia picture, we present Spencer Tracy. Co starring with Spence, we'll have Ingrid Bergman in one of the finest love stories the screen has ever given us. A Man's Castle is a play that's worthy of the talents of Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman. And I think that's enough to recommend it to you for next Monday night.

[Walpole (Butler)]

It's enough for me, CB yes, we'll

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

all be in your audience next week. Good night.

[Miss Abigail (Abby) Ralston]

Good night.

[Walpole (Butler)]

Good night.

[Maisie Revere (Mary Anastasia O'Connor)]

Good night.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

Hear that, Maisie? Sounds like another date. Some of our audience have already celebrated the great festival of Thanksgiving. Others will observe it this coming Thursday. The day matters less than the spirit because we have many reasons to rejoice. This year we're grateful, as always, for the right to worship as we choose, for the boundless harvest of field and factory, and for a freedom that grows more precious with each passing hour. All this we as Americans have enjoyed. For all this, we humbly give our thanks. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux toilets Hope, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman in A Man's Castle. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood and Southern. New Ayers and Marlene o' Sullivan appeared

[Narrator/Producer Cecil B. DeMille]

tonight through the courtesy of Metro Goldwyn Mayer. This Southern will soon be seen in Panama Hattie, Mrs. Sullivan in Tarzan's Secret Treasure and Mr. Ayers in Dr. Kildare's Victory. Heard in tonight's play were Gene O' Donnell as Link, Tori Carlton as Diana, Boyd Davis as Cap, Griff Barnett as Judge and Charles Seale, Eddie Marr, Warren Ash and Dick Ryan. Tune in next Monday night to hear Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman in A Man's Castle. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers and your announcer has been Melville Roerich.

[Narrator/Storyteller]

This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.

[Announcer]

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[Walpole (Butler)]

Convog.