Our Miss Brooks 50-11-19 106 Thanksgiving Turkey

Summary

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Episode Overview

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Our Miss Brooks "Thanksgiving Turkey" (Originally aired November 19, 1950)
Summary:
This classic episode of Our Miss Brooks brings listeners a comedic look at Thanksgiving preparations gone awry. English teacher Connie Brooks faces the prospect of a solitary holiday—until a well-meaning prank and some tangled invitations lead her into a farcical turkey hunt, culminating in chaos at her principal's home. The episode highlights friendship, mistaken intentions, and slapstick humor amid the nostalgia of radio’s golden age.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

1. Introduction to Thanksgiving Plans

• Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden) and her landlady Mrs. Davis discuss their modest past Thanksgiving and current plans. Mrs. Davis is heading to her ailing sister’s house, leaving Ms. Brooks potentially alone for the holiday.
  • “I can hardly believe it, Connie. A whole year has gone by since last Thanksgiving.” (01:11)
  • Memorable gag: Last year’s feast was a single roast stuffed pepper.

2. Hints and Hopes for an Invitation

• Mrs. Davis suggests Ms. Brooks might spend the day with shy biology teacher Mr. Boynton, who hasn’t yet invited her.
• Ms. Brooks jokes about always going Dutch with Mr. Boynton:
  • “It's just a coincidence that I'm buying him a pair of wooden shoes for Christmas.” (03:12)

3. Stretch’s Well-Meaning Newspaper Prank

• Walter Denton reveals that student Stretch Snodgrass printed a notice in the school paper urging people to invite Ms. Brooks to Thanksgiving.
• Ms. Brooks reads the embarrassing notice:
  • “If somebody wants to share his or her meal with this lonely human person, all you have to do is walk up and say, you can have Thanksgiving dinner with me, Ms. Brooks.” (05:00)

4. Seeking a Dinner Companion

• Mr. Boynton, upon reading the notice, awkwardly approaches Ms. Brooks but instead of inviting her, hopes to join her if she gets multiple invitations:
  • “Miss Brooks, if that notice brings you more than one invitation to dinner, could I make use of the extra?” (06:56)
• Later, Principal Mr. Conklin has the same idea, planning to join Ms. Brooks if possible:
  • “Well, if that notice brings you more than one invitation, could I make use of the extra one?” (09:48)
• Ms. Brooks sardonically notes:
  • “Why should you be an exception?” (10:00)

5. A Plan for the Group Thanksgiving

• Harriet Conklin, Mr. Conklin’s daughter, reveals her grandmother is coming, so her father won’t be alone.
• Budget constraints are clear: only $5 for an eight-pound turkey. Ms. Brooks volunteers to help shop, bringing everyone together for a group dinner.
  • “Give me the $5 and I'll see that we get a big enough turkey for all of us.” (11:37)

6. The Quest for a Turkey

• Ms. Brooks and Mr. Boynton agree to chip in, but still need a bigger bird cheaply.
• Mr. Boynton proposes buying a live turkey from a farm:
  • “By merely eliminating the butcher.” (16:28)
  • “Once we get a good one, we can kill it ourselves. Pluck the feathers, clean it and dress it.” (16:50)
• Comedic interplay as Ms. Brooks is uneasy about killing the turkey.

7. The Turkey, Bernice, Enters the Scene

• The pair buy a hen turkey (“Bernice”) and transport her—along with Boynton’s pet frog, McDougal.
• Comical animal banter ensues:
  • “Now, I ain't bluffin', dance too hard and you'll lose your stuffin'.” (19:47)

8. Farce at the Conklins’ House

• The group brings Bernice home, but she escapes and wreaks havoc:
  • “She’s going through the dining room window!” (21:17)
  • The friends scramble to recapture Bernice before Mr. Conklin returns.
• Mr. Conklin, home early and groggy from a tea party, sees the turkey and thinks he’s dreaming:
  • “Look. Turkey. Nice turkey. I know you're not there, but please go away.” (24:18)
• Chaos mounts: Walter is discovered with a hatchet, Conklin becomes increasingly flustered, believing it’s all a nightmare.

9. The Punchline and Fallout

• The truth is revealed: everyone planned to surprise Mr. Conklin, but he’s now on a strict diet and the family will spend Thanksgiving elsewhere.
  • “You can have the turkey. All I want is my money.” (27:06)
• Ms. Brooks is left holding a live turkey and no dinner invitation:
  • “Well, I've celebrated some Thanksgivings in my time, but this is the biggest bird I ever received.” (27:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ms. Brooks’ signature dry wit:
  • “Isn't it awful? The years do that every year.” (01:16)
  • “Maybe I can help. I promise not to order anything over a dollar fifty.” (06:31, repeated with Mr. Boynton and Conklin)
• Walter’s dramatics:
  • “I step over this threshold with fear and trepidation.” (03:57)
• Animal rom-com:
  • “You have just heard the frog's version of a wolf whistle.” (19:02)
• Mr. Conklin’s exasperated dream logic:
  • “How can I close my eyes with Walter standing over me with a hatchet?” (25:33)
• End cap from Ms. Brooks:
  • “But we can't get a refund now. The used turkey market is shot to pieces. What will Mr. Boynton and I do with an entire turkey?” (27:09)
  • “For once, I might add, the joke is on you.” (27:18)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment / Key Event | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Mrs. Davis and Ms. Brooks discuss last year’s meager dinner | | 03:12 | Ms. Brooks quips about “wooden shoes” and going Dutch | | 05:00 | Ms. Brooks reads Stretch’s pitiful Thanksgiving ad | | 06:56 | Mr. Boynton’s awkward “extra invitation” request | | 09:48 | Mr. Conklin follows with the same “extra invitation” line | | 11:37 | Harriet and Ms. Brooks plan to buy the turkey on a budget | | 16:28 | Mr. Boynton’s live turkey scheme proposed | | 19:47 | Brooks’s barn dance turkey jokes | | 21:17 | Bernice the turkey flees into the house, chaos erupts | | 24:18 | Mr. Conklin’s “dream” encounter with the turkey | | 25:33 | Conklin discovers Walter lurking with a hatchet | | 27:09 | Conklin abandons the dinner, demands his money back | | 27:24 | Ms. Brooks’s parting Thanksgiving punchline |

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Tone and Style

• Witty, quick-paced banter.
• Playful teasing among characters (Ms. Brooks, Mr. Boynton, Conklin, Harriet, Walter).
• Slapstick humor around the turkey chase.
• Undercurrent of warmth despite mock complaints and mishaps.

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Conclusion

This episode offers a playful, nostalgic portrait of holiday mishaps, peppered with sharp one-liners and affectionate ribbing. Listeners are treated to the best of Eve Arden’s understated delivery, Mr. Conklin’s high-strung exasperation, and the zany community spirit of Madison High. Ultimately, “Our Miss Brooks: Thanksgiving Turkey” is a comedic reminder that Thanksgiving togetherness often comes out of chaos, and sometimes leaves you holding the “biggest bird” of all.

Transcript

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[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

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[Commercial Announcer (Colgate)]

Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And luster cream shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressable hair. Bring you our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden.

[Narrator]

It's time once again for another comedy episode of our Ms. Brooks under the direction of Al Lois, who. Well, most of us have already made our plans for celebrating Thanksgiving. But our Ms. Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School, hadn't given it much thought up until last Friday morning when she sat down to breakfast with her landlady.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, it's only six more days till Thanksgiving, Mrs. Davis.

[Mrs. Davis]

I can hardly believe it, Connie. A whole year has gone by since last Thanksgiving.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Isn't it awful? The years do that every year.

[Mrs. Davis]

It seems like yesterday that I was preparing our last Thanksgiving dinner. We didn't have very much money to spend on our shopping, but we celebrated just the same.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, I'll never Forget that meal, Mrs. Davis. A whole roast stuffed pepper.

[Mrs. Davis]

I feel very badly about not being able to spend Thanksgiving with you this year, Connie, but I've accepted an invitation from my sister Angela.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, that's all right, Mrs. Davis.

[Mrs. Davis]

I'd ask you to join me at her place, but she hasn't been at all well lately. So we're just having the immediate family, my brother Victor and myself. Oh, poor Angela. It seems the older she gets, the more absent minded she gets.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Yes, you've mentioned it to me, Mrs. Davis.

[Mrs. Davis]

Lately she's been worse than ever. Why, sometimes she can be talking right along and suddenly right in the middle of a sentence.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Yes, right in the middle of a sentence.

[Mrs. Davis]

Right in the middle of a sentence.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Right in the middle of a sentence.

[Mr. Boynton]

What?

[Mrs. Davis]

Right in the middle of a sentence What?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

What? You've been seeing a little too much of Angela.

[Mrs. Davis]

Angela?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

She's your brother Victor's absent minded sister. But don't worry about my holiday, Mrs. Davis. I'll get my pearly teeth into something on Thanksgiving day.

[Mrs. Davis]

How about Mr. Boynton?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Yum yum. Oh, you mean spending the day with him? Well, he hasn't asked me as yet, but I'll toss him a hint at.

[Mrs. Davis]

School today I'm certain that he'll invite you out, Connie. And then you can be sure of your turkey and all the trimmings.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I don't know about the Turkey, but if Mr. Boynton and I eat out, I'm a cinch to take my usual trimming.

[Mrs. Davis]

Does Mr. Boynton always insist on going Dutch, Connie?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I wouldn't say that, Mrs. Davis. It's just a coincidence that I'm buying him a pair of wooden shoes for Christmas. But why worry about it now? As Madison star athlete Stretch Snodgrass told me in English class the other day, live good in the present, the future never done nothing to nobody. Stretch is a nice kid, though. He seemed genuinely concerned about my spending Thanksgiving alone. He told me he would have asked me to his home, but his folks are going out of town for the weekend with the Dentons. Oh, that must be Walter now. He's driving me down to school. Coming, Walter?

[Mrs. Davis]

I'll clear off the table and get started on the dishes. Panny, say hello to Walter for me.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

All right, Mrs. Davis. Come on in, Walter.

[Walter Denton]

I step over this threshold with fear and trepidation.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

What do you mean?

[Walter Denton]

I am the editor in chief of the Madison Monitor.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

True, true.

[Walter Denton]

Well, I made the mistake of letting Stretch Snodgrass set up some of the type yesterday, and he sneaked an item into the personal column that cannot but be a source of great mortification to someone very near and dear to both our hearts.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Who? You? Me?

[Walter Denton]

None other. I brought a copy with me. Look at this paragraph, Ms. Brooks.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Let's see it. To who it may Concern. That's Stretch, all right. It says, it is pitiful to be alone on Thanksgiving Day. If there is one way how people should show their real Thanksgivingness, it is by sharing their dinner with some poor, unfortunate fellow human person who is alone without mentioning any names. Oh, well, that's a relief.

[Walter Denton]

Keep reading.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Without mentioning any names, if somebody wants to share his or her meal with this lonely human person, all you have to do is walk up and say, you can have Thanksgiving dinner with me, Ms. Brooks.

[Walter Denton]

Well, Ms. Brooks, isn't that awful? Are you gonna punish Stretch?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I'm not making any snap judgments, Walter. First, let's see if this ad brings any.

[Mr. Boynton]

Excuse me, Ms. Brooks, but I'd like to talk to you before you go into your classroom.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I think that might be arranged, Mr. Boynton.

[Mr. Boynton]

I. I just read this rather peculiar notice in the school paper and I wonder.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, that's a little prank that Stretch played on me, Mr. Boynton. Just pay a lot of attention to it.

[Mr. Boynton]

When I read it, Miss Brooks, I. I made up my mind I'd be the first one to talk to you about it.

[Walter Denton]

Really?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

How nice, Mr. Boynton.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, it isn't easy to be alone on Thanksgiving on a holiday.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

No, you're so right.

[Mr. Boynton]

Many's the Thanksgiving dinner I've eaten alone. But when I saw that notice in the paper, I said to myself, by George Philip Boynton.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I didn't know your name was George Philip Boynton.

[Mr. Boynton]

It is. And that's just an expression I use. As I was saying, I said to myself, this is one Thanksgiving you don't have to eat alone. Now, what I want to ask you isn't easy for me, Miss Brooks.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Maybe I can help. I promise not to order anything over a dollar fifty. Please continue.

[Mr. Boynton]

Since I saw that paragraph in the Monitor, I wondered if. Well, if.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I'll make it a dollar even, and I'll leave the tip. Please, Mr. Boynton, just ask me what you want to.

[Mr. Boynton]

All right, I will.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Good.

[Mr. Boynton]

Miss Brooks, if that notice brings you more than one invitation to dinner, could I make use of the extra?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

You wanted to see me, Mr. Conklin?

[Mr. Conklin]

Yes, Ms. Brooks. Sit down, won't you? Please take this leather chair by my desk. That's it. Are you nice and comfy?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Yes, sir, I'm fine. But how are you?

[Mr. Conklin]

Splendid, thanks. This is the time of year when we should all be imbued with the true thanksgiving spirit. That's why I've summoned you to my office, Miss Brooks. To tell you that in spite of the inconveniences you have wreaked upon me, I harbor no ill will.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, that's very nice to hear, Mr. Conklin. I have been a source of annoyance to you on occasion, I suppose, but I do.

[Mr. Conklin]

I am thankful for everything that's happened to me in the past year. Take the time you drop that typewriter on my toe. I just give thanks that it didn't land higher and fracture my whole foot.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

That was careful of me, wasn't it?

[Mr. Conklin]

Then when I think back to the time you stepped on my eyeglasses and crushed them. I give thanks that they weren't on my nose at the time. But my main purpose in calling you here is to inform you that I have read the notice in this morning's Monitor.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, that's just a joke, Mr. Conklin. It was written by one of the pupils in my English class.

[Mr. Conklin]

Yes, I could tell from its construction. However, I want you to know, Miss Brooks, that I was quite touched by that item. The more so since I Too will be all alone this Thanksgiving.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

But what about your daughter and Mrs. Conklin?

[Mr. Conklin]

They're spending the day with Harriet's grandmother, my wife's dear mother. We asked her to join us for the holiday, but she lives almost 100 miles away and she thinks she's got high blood pressure or something. So nothing would do but that Harriet and Martha visit her, bless her crotchety old hide.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

But why aren't you going along?

[Mr. Conklin]

What, me make a trip like that with my blood pressure? The doctor has absolutely forbidden it. In any event, when I read that notice, Miss Brooks, a thought occurred to me which might make Thanksgiving more enjoyable for both of us.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Both of us? Yes. Yes.

[Mr. Conklin]

Since we are both going to be alone, I'd like to ask you. That is, I wonder if you'd. What I have to say isn't easy for me, Miss Brooks.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Maybe I can help. I promise not to order anything over $1.50.

[Mr. Conklin]

Loneliness can do more to undermine a person's morale than almost anything. And, well, if you'd. That is, if possible, I'll make it.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

A dollar and I'll leave the tip.

[Mr. Conklin]

Please don't misunderstand, Miss Brooks. What I want to ask you is. Well, if that notice brings you more than one invitation, could I make use of the extra one?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Why should you be an exception? Oh, of course, Mr. Conklin. Now, if you'll excuse me, sir, I've got to get to my classroom.

[Mr. Conklin]

Very well. You may go. Be sure and keep me a prize of all results, Miss Brooks.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Yes, sir. I'm sure we'll be pelted with turkey dinners. Spirit of Thanksgiving. Are you comfy, Miss Brooks? Take this chair, Miss Brooks. Of all the.

[Harriet Conklin]

Hi, Miss Brooks. I see that you just came out of Daddy's office. Is he very disgruntled this morning?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

No, Harriet, he's not gruntling any louder than usual. He does seem a bit put out at having to eat Thanksgiving dinner alone.

[Harriet Conklin]

Oh, but he's not going to. Grandmother's coming down to our place after all. We're going to surprise Daddy.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, that should do it.

[Harriet Conklin]

He's so sentimental about holidays. Now he'll be able to do his Thanksgiving carving just like always. It'll be loads of fun. I've already invited Walter Denton over.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Good. I can't think of anyone your father would rather carve.

[Harriet Conklin]

I know he's not, but during the holiday season, Daddy's always a little more mellow. I'm going to do some of the shopping today. Mother gave me $5 for a turkey.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

That doesn't seem like much, Harriet, how big a turkey are you planning on getting?

[Harriet Conklin]

Oh, just a nice eight pounder.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

But will that be enough to go around? Mr. Boynton's a pretty big eater, you know.

[Harriet Conklin]

Mr. Boynton. But he'll be eating with you, won't he?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

He certainly will. And at what better place could he join me for Thanksgiving dinner than in the warm confines of your cozy dining room.

[Harriet Conklin]

I would like to invite you both, Ms. Brooks. But I've only got this $5. That's all mother said to spend.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Tell you what, Harriet. Give me the $5 and I'll see that we get a big enough turkey for all of us.

[Harriet Conklin]

Well, if you really want to come, Ms. Brooks, I'd certainly like to have you. And I'm sure Mother would too. But there have been times when you and Daddy.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Don't you see, Harriet? If Walter's coming, you'll be doing your daddy a good turn by inviting me.

[Harriet Conklin]

How do you mean, Ms. Brooks?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

With both of us there, we'll be an antidote for each other. Brush your teeth with Colgates.

[Mrs. Davis]

Colgate Dental Cream.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

It cleans your breath. Wadda toothpaste. Wada cleans your teeth.

[Mr. Conklin]

Colgate toothpaste cleans your breath. Wadda toothpaste wadda cleans your teeth.

[Commercial Announcer (Colgate)]

Colgate dental cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. And the Colgate way stops tooth decay. Best.

[Narrator]

More than two years research showed the Colgate way of brushing teeth right after eating helps stop more decay for more people than ever before reported in dentifresh history. Yes, the Colgate ways stop tooth decay.

[Mr. Boynton]

Best.

[Narrator]

Better than any other home method of oral hygiene.

[Commercial Announcer (Colgate)]

No other dentifrous, ammoniated or not, has proof of such results. And you should know that Colgate's, while not mentioned by name, was the one and only toothpaste used in the research on tooth decay recently reported in Reader's Digest.

[Narrator]

So always follow the Colgate way to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and stop tooth decay.

[Commercial Announcer (Colgate)]

Best.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Brush your teeth with Colgate Colgate Dental Cream. It cleans your breath. Water.

[Mr. Conklin]

Toothpaste.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Water cleans your teeth.

[Commercial Announcer (Colgate)]

And the Colgate weight stops tooth decay. Best.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, when lunch period arrived, as luck and I would have it, Mr. Boynton brought his tray right to my table in the cafeteria. In spite of the fact that he had a nice lunch before him, he didn't begin eating, but sat with his fork poised and stared into my eyes with a deep and absorbing emotion. It was a terribly romantic moment as Mr. Boynton leaned across the table and in A voice choked with passion said.

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[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

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[Mr. Boynton]

Get any extra invites to Thanksgiving dinner?

[Mrs. Davis]

No.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

And get your fork out of my cottage cheese.

[Mr. Boynton]

I'm sorry. I was just wondering about that notice in the monitor.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, you can forget about the notice, Mr. Boynton. I've wangled us both an invitation to join the Conklins for the holiday.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, say, that's wonderful. Mrs. Conklin's a fine cook.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

There's only one catch. We've got exactly $5 with which to buy a turkey that'll feed six people.

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, how in the world are we going to do that?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Ms. Brooks, you and I can chip in another $5 between us.

[Mr. Boynton]

There must be some other way.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, there isn't. Not unless I put up the entire amount. And I can't unless I pawn my earrings again. Oh, but Ms. Grayson, I wouldn't care if I hadn't had my ears pierced. You have no idea how drafty my lobes get in November.

[Mr. Boynton]

Please, mister, you won't have to pawn anything. There is a way we can get a good sized young turkey very reasonably.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

How?

[Mr. Boynton]

By merely eliminating the butcher.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

What do we do? Buy the turkey from his parents?

[Mr. Boynton]

Don't you see, Ms. Brooks? We have to go after a live turkey. They're much cheaper than in the stores? Why, we can probably pick one up for even less than $5.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, there's nothing to it. Of course not. All we have to do is find a young turkey who hasn't learned the value of money.

[Mr. Boynton]

Once we get a good one, we can kill it ourselves. Pluck the feathers, clean it and dress it.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

There must be some other way.

[Mr. Boynton]

Believe me, this will work. Miss Brooks, I know a place about 20 miles from here. A fellow named Tobin has a turkey farm. We'll drive out after school and see what we're doing.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Say, it might be fun at that. A nice drive in the country.

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, sure. The fresh air will be good for all of us.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

All of us?

[Mr. Boynton]

You, me and my pet frog, McDougal. He hasn't been at all well lately, Miss Brooks.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

What's the trouble?

[Mr. Boynton]

He can't seem to sleep.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Maybe he reads too late. I mean, where has he been sleeping?

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, his usual place. On a newspaper in his cage.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, there's your answer. How can anybody sleep with the news that's in the paper nowadays?

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, old Tobin certainly gave us a nice gobbler for $5.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Yes, he did. But I still can't get too enthusiastic about having to execute it ourselves.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, you just feel that way because she's a hen turkey. Tobin seemed quite attached to her, too. What was it he called her again?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Bern. Oh, isn't that cute? She knows her name.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, that's nothing. Mac knows his name, too.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Your frog, of course.

[Mr. Boynton]

His cage is right beside you on the sea. Just pick it up and call to him.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, that's ridiculous. Mr. Boynton. I'm not going to start any conversations with McDougal.

[Mr. Boynton]

What did I tell you?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, if you don't mind, I'm putting him in the back with Bernice. There you go, Mac. You can keep each other company back there.

[Mr. Boynton]

Oh, poor Mac. He's been so apathetic from lack of sleep. He probably won't even notice Bernice from.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

The saying, like father, like frog. Bernice is very interested in Mac. Oh, isn't that cute? She's got her head right next to his cage.

[Mr. Boynton]

What in the world is Mac doing?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

You have just heard the frog's version of a wolf whistle.

[Mr. Boynton]

That's one for the book. Mack is definitely smitten by that hen turkey. Say, say, what's going on in the back seat now, Ms. Brooks?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Something that should be going on in the front seat, That is. They're getting better acquainte. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he's asking her out To a dance?

[Mr. Boynton]

That'd be quite a sight. Oh, actually, Bernice is much too tall for Mac.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, I don't know. She's a natural for a barn dance. Do si do. Now, I ain't bluffin'dance. Too hard and you'll lose your stuffin'. Oh, calm down, Bernice. I was just kidding.

[Mr. Boynton]

Now that we've got her, Ms. Brooks, where are we supposed to take the turkey?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

To the Conklin's backyard. Mr. And Mrs. Conklin are attending a tea party, so it won't spoil Mr. Conklin's surprise.

[Mr. Boynton]

Will Harriet be there to give us a hand?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Uh huh. And so will Walter. He's bringing his axe. How do you like that? She can spell.

[Mr. Boynton]

Careful with this crate, Walter. There's a slat loose on the side.

[Walter Denton]

Yeah, I got it, Mr. Boynton. Now let's set it down in the driveway.

[Harriet Conklin]

Oh, what a wonderful turkey.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Sorry, Mac, you'll have to wait in the car.

[Walter Denton]

Oh, she's a beauty, all right. Absolutely inspiring. Oh, what a perfect combination. The lovely, graceful neck of a turkey and my trusty Boy Scout hatchet.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

What a charming thought. You've been seeing too many kid shows on television. But if it has to be done, the quicker the better.

[Walter Denton]

Right, Char? Ms. Brooks want a blindfold turkey?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

No, but I do. Look out. She's getting away.

[Mr. Boynton]

Grab her wings, Wanda. She's heading for the house.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I missed her.

[Walter Denton]

Ms. Brooks, do something.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Don't look at me. I'm on her side.

[Harriet Conklin]

She's going through the dining room window.

[Walter Denton]

What made her do that?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Maybe she wants to try on one of the platters for size.

[Harriet Conklin]

We've got to get her out of there before Daddy comes home. We want this to be a surprise. Come on in the side door.

[Walter Denton]

Where could she have gone?

[Mr. Boynton]

She doesn't seem to be in the dining room anymore.

[Harriet Conklin]

Maybe she went into Daddy's study.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

You look in there, Harriet. And Walter, you try the kitchen.

[Walter Denton]

But where are you gonna look?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

I'll take the closet with Mr. Boynton. You kids go ahead.

[Mr. Boynton]

But, Ms. Brooks, you don't think the turkey really went into the closet, do you?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Who knows? It shouldn't take us more than 20 minutes to find out.

[Harriet Conklin]

I think the turkey's definitely in this study somewhere. Take a look behind the couch, Walter.

[Walter Denton]

Okay, Harriet. I'll sneak up on the little beauty with the stealth of a barefoot pilgrim.

[Harriet Conklin]

That might be Daddy. He always forgets his key. Walter, you stay put behind that couch. And Ms. Brooks, Mr. Boynton, follow me.

[Mr. Boynton]

Where are you going?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

To hide us in this clothes closet.

[Harriet Conklin]

Right across the hall. Quick, Ms. Brooks, get in.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Okay, be right there.

[Harriet Conklin]

Hello, Daddy.

[Mr. Conklin]

Forgot my key again. Harriet.

[Harriet Conklin]

Where's Mother?

[Mr. Conklin]

She's doing some shopping for tonight.

[Harriet Conklin]

For dinner.

[Mr. Conklin]

Oh, don't mention that word. I ate so much at that confounded tea party that I can hardly breathe. I'm going into my study and lie down on the couch for a while.

[Harriet Conklin]

Oh, but you can't. I mean, you know what nightmares you get when you go to sleep after eating. Remember the time you thought there were bats in your bedroom?

[Mr. Conklin]

That was after I saw last weekend. Don't fuss around me, child. I can hardly keep my eyes open.

[Harriet Conklin]

But, Daddy, wouldn't the bedroom be more comfortable?

[Mr. Conklin]

I'd never make it up the stairs. Harriet, just call me in an hour or so, please.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Oh, dear.

[Harriet Conklin]

Miss Brooks. Mr. Boynton, come out of the closet.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Go away.

[Mr. Boynton]

Did I hear your father say he was gonna take a nap in the study?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Harriet?

[Harriet Conklin]

That's right, Mr. Boynton. And I'm almost positive the turkey's in there.

[Mr. Boynton]

Well, we can't be sure. I'm gonna look around the back of the house.

[Harriet Conklin]

Okay, Mr. Boynton. Ms. Brooks, let's tiptoe up to the study door and listen. He's asleep already. Thank goodness.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, let's open the door, then. Take another peek.

[Harriet Conklin]

Look, Ms. Brooks, the turkey just came out of that closet. She's walking toward the couch.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Now. He's starting to wake up.

[Harriet Conklin]

Daddy's looking at the turkey.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Now the turkey's looking at Daddy. I wonder which one will scream first.

[Mr. Boynton]

What's that?

[Mr. Conklin]

Oh. Oh, it's a nightmare. Oh, I should never have tried to sleep after all that food. Look. Turkey. Nice turkey. I know you're not there, but please go away.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

You stay here. Harriet. I've got an idea. Mr. Conklin? Hello? Mr. Conklin. What?

[Mr. Boynton]

What? Miss Brooks?

[Mr. Conklin]

Is that you?

[Mr. Boynton]

Are you really here?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

What's the difference as long as it's a nightmare? I heard you moaning in your sleep, sir, and I thought maybe.

[Mr. Conklin]

Never mind what you thought.

[Mr. Boynton]

Get this turkey out of my stud.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

What turkey?

[Mr. Conklin]

What turkey? What was that?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Maybe your dream turkey has an allergy.

[Mr. Conklin]

The turkey just walked out the door. That sneeze came from behind the couch.

[Walter Denton]

It's just me, Mr. Conklin. Me and my trusty hatchet.

[Mrs. Davis]

Oh, Gas.

[Mr. Conklin]

Dream or no dream, boy, there's no.

[Mr. Boynton]

Reason to go berserk. We've had our differences, surely, but deep.

[Mr. Conklin]

Down in my heart, I've always had.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

A warm spot for you. Please, Mr. Compton, don't get his hysterical why don't you lie down and close your eyes?

[Mr. Conklin]

How can I close my eyes with Walter standing over me with a hatchet?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Walter? Walter who?

[Mr. Conklin]

I don't call my doctor when I wake up. I'll never go to sleep again. Oh, well, I might as well relax.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

That's the idea, Mr. Conklin. Take a nice long snooze.

[Mr. Boynton]

Ms. Brooks, Bernice just ran out in the backyard and. I Beg your pardon, Mr. Conklin. I didn't mean to disturb you.

[Mr. Conklin]

Oh, that's all right, Boynton. You'll disappear in a few minutes.

[Mr. Boynton]

Disappear?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Mr. Conklin's been dreaming. And let's keep it that way.

[Harriet Conklin]

It's all right, Ms. Brooks. The turkey ran right into our garage and I closed the door.

[Mr. Conklin]

What's going on here?

[Mr. Boynton]

We just wanted to surprise you, sir.

[Mr. Conklin]

May I say you have.

[Harriet Conklin]

Please don't be angry, Daddy. Ms. Brooks saved us a lot of money by getting a live turkey. I only gave her $5.

[Mr. Conklin]

$5?

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Yes, sir. You see, you're not going to be alone after all. That was the surprise Harriet planned. Not only is your mother in law coming down for Thanksgiving, but we're all joining you, too.

[Mr. Conklin]

And now I have a dispatch for you. After the tea, I saw my doctor and he put me on a strict vegetarian diet. Harriet and her mother are going to spend the holidays with Granny, as planned. As for you, Ms. Brooks, kindly hand over the $5 my daughter gave you.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

But we paid that for the turkey.

[Mr. Conklin]

You can have the turkey. All I want is my money.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

But we can't get a refund now. The used turkey market is shot to pieces. What will Mr. Boynton and I do with an entire turkey?

[Mr. Conklin]

That, Ms. Brooks, is your concern. For once, I might add, the joke is on you.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Well, I've celebrated some Thanksgivings in my time, but this is the biggest bird I ever received.

[Narrator]

Levard Martin returns in just a moment.

[Mr. Conklin]

But first, dream girl. Dream girl. Beautiful luster cream girl.

[Commercial Announcer (Colgate)]

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[Mr. Conklin]

Dream girl, Dream girl. Beautiful Luster Cream girl. You owe your crowning glory to a Luster cream shampoo.

[Narrator]

And now, once again, here is Eve Arden.

[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

70 little children in one classroom. That's the kind of critical situation your community faces unless it can recruit new elementary school teachers immediately. Our increased school population also needs urgently more buildings, more textbooks, more supplies than ever. Better schools make better communities. So for improved educational facilities, join and work with your local civic groups and school boards. For further information, write to the National Citizens Commission for The Public Schools, 2 West 45th Street, New York, 19, NY. This is Vern Smith reminding you to.

[Commercial Announcer (Colgate)]

Tune in next week to another honest book show brought to you by Luster Cream Shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressable hair. And Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay.

[Narrator]

Our Ms. Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Burns, written by Al Lewis with the music of Wilbur Hatch. Mr. Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mr. Conklin by Gail Gordon. Others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Krena and Gloria McMillan.

[Mr. Conklin]

Doctors prove palm oil of soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days. Yes, 36 leading skin specialists prove in tests on 1285 different women that Palmolive soap facials using nothing but Palmolive brought new complexion beauty to two women out of three. Just wash your face three times daily with Palmolive Soap, each time for 60 seconds, massaging Palmolive's beauty lather onto your skin, then rinse and pat dry. So start your pomola facials today. Remember, doctors prove Palmolive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in 14 days.

[Narrator]

If you like mysteries that are as full of chuckles as chills, be sure to hear Mr. And Mrs. North every Tuesday over this same network. Don't miss the exciting and laughable adventures of these amateur detectives. Hear Mr. And Mrs. North every Tuesday night and be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks. Bob Lamond speaking. Stay tuned now for Jack Bennett, cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.

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[Ms. Brooks (Eve Arden)]

Today, Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Kerrygold Butter Announcer]

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