Red Skelton Show 41-11-11 (006) Public Speaking

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio - Episode Summary

Episode Title: Red Skelton Show 41-11-11 (006) Public Speaking
Release Date: April 26, 2025
Host: Red Skelton
Description: Dive into the hilariously nostalgic world of the Golden Age of Radio with Red Skelton. This episode centers around the theme of public speaking, featuring classic comedic sketches, engaging dialogues with co-stars Harriet Hilliard and Ozzie Nelson, and Red's unique take on the art of delivering speeches.

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1. Introduction to Public Speaking Theme

The episode kicks off with Red Skelton engaging his audience in a lighthearted discussion about public speaking. Red introduces various types of speakers through humorous sketches, setting the stage for an evening filled with laughter and relatable scenarios.

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2. Comedic Exploration of Public Speaking

a. Types of Public Speakers

Red Skelton humorously categorizes public speakers, mocking common stereotypes. He introduces the "toastmaster," a well-lit individual with a radiant personality who often struggles with microphones, resulting in nonsensical speeches.

• Quote:
  Red Skelton [12:00]: "Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. Hey, pipe down, will ya? Where do you think you're at, in a public library?"

b. The Nervous Speaker Sketch

One of the highlights is Red's portrayal of a nervously anxious speaker. This sketch illustrates the pitfalls of stage fright, where Red's character fumbles through his speech, leading to comical mishaps like misplacing his notes and forgetting his lines.

• Quote:
  Red Skelton [29:15]: "If I drink any more water, they'll have to build a dam behind me."

c. Interaction with Co-stars

Throughout the episode, Red interacts seamlessly with Harriet Hilliard and Ozzie Nelson, enhancing the comedic dynamics. Their exchanges often revolve around Red's exaggerated fears and humorous attempts to master public speaking.

• Quote:
  Harriet Hilliard [26:01]: "What an Adam's apple. How'd it get so big?"
  Red Skelton [26:13]: "Irrigation. Oh, that darn collar."

---

3. Satire on Political Speechmaking

Red delves into the realm of political speeches by impersonating a politician named Senator Skelton. This segment satirizes the often vague and unconvincing nature of political rhetoric, highlighting the disconnect between politicians and the public.

• Quote:
  Senator Skelton [17:37]: "I'm going to help you with your troubles in Washington. Worse, I may stay here a couple of months, but I doubt it."

a. Encounter with Wonderful Smith

In a clever twist, Senator Skelton interacts with Wonderful Smith, another speaker who faces his own comedic challenges during speeches. Their exchange underscores the theme of ineffective communication in leadership roles.

• Quote:
  Wonderful Smith [19:06]: "While I was speaking, someone gave me a hot foot with a blowtorch."
  Red Skelton [19:12]: "Oh, yes. And that was my first fireside chat."

---

4. Humorous Situations and Physical Comedy

Red Skelton employs physical comedy and situational humor to depict the anxieties of public speaking. From misplaced clothing items to exaggerated body reactions, these moments add a layer of slapstick humor to the episode.

• Quote:
  Red Skelton [26:13]: "I can't leave it here."
  Harriet Hilliard [26:37]: "Come on, hurry up. Get your coat out of the closet."

---

5. Closing Remarks and Reflections

As the episode draws to a close, Red reflects on the night's comedic journey through public speaking. He ties together the various sketches and interactions, leaving the audience with a sense of camaraderie and amusement.

• Quote:
  Red Skelton [30:48]: "Say, Red, you know, there's one very excellent speaker you've overlooked tonight."

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6. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Red Skelton [02:35]: "Thank you and good evening, ladies and gentlemen."
• Red Skelton [16:05]: "As I stand here and looking into your faces, I see that there's a lot of faces that really need looking into."
• Red Skelton [25:07]: "Yep. He was so green that a nearsighted lady came up, opened his mouth and tried to mail a letter in it."
• Red Skelton [29:15]: "If I drink any more water, they'll have to build a dam behind me."
• Red Skelton [30:48]: "Say, Red, you know, there's one very excellent speaker you've overlooked tonight."

---

7. Conclusion

The "Red Skelton Show 41-11-11 (006) Public Speaking" episode masterfully blends observational humor with classic radio antics. Through relatable scenarios, witty dialogues, and Red's impeccable comedic timing, the episode offers both laughter and a satirical look at the challenges of public speaking. Whether you're a history enthusiast or a fan of timeless comedy, this episode provides an entertaining glimpse into the Golden Age of Radio.

Transcript

[Stiles Mackenzie]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Styles MacKenzie helping you make those rooms sing. Today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Fierce, this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Red Skelton]

From Hollywood, the Raleigh Cigarette Program starring Red Skelton with Ozzy Nelson and his music, Harriet Hilliard and wonderful sm. That was Ozzy Nelson and his band playing I'll be with you in apple blossom time. And now we bring you Metro Golden Mayer's newest young comedian, the star of our show, Red Skelton.

Thank you very much. Thank you and good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Say, Brad, I tried everywhere to get a hold of you Friday night. Where were you?

Home.

Oh, no wonder I couldn't find you. We wanted to take you to the fights with us.

Well, I'll tell you, Red, some of the boys dropped over and they took me to cleaners. Say, you go to fights at the American Legion Stadium every week, don't you, Red?

Yeah, I was there last week. And what a knockout. What a knockout. Too bad her husband was with her. Say, you know, I really enjoyed the fight, though. I had good seats. I was sitting between two big, fat ladies.

You were sitting in between two big ladies? Yeah, I read. Were they really fat? Fat?

I felt like a Florida grapefruit between two California oranges.

Who was fighting Friday night?

Well, it was Tiger Johnson against Battleship Duggan.

Yeah, I know him. Well, how'd it turn out?

Well, in the fourth round, Battleship had to be convoyed to a neutral corner.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Hi, Rich.

[Red Skelton]

Hello, Harriet. Say, did you enjoy the fights the other night?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, I sure did. Say, what was that thing that fell out of the fighter's mouth when he was hit on the jaw?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, that was his mouthpiece.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, gee, some lawyers will work anywhere to make a dollar, won't they?

[Red Skelton]

You worked a little there yourself, didn't you?

[Harriet Hilliard]

You used to be a fighter, didn't you, Red?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah. I'll never forget my first fight.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What happened?

[Red Skelton]

Well, I ran out on the canvas, and the next thing I knew, I was part of it. I never saw so many fists in my life.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Who were you fighting?

[Red Skelton]

I don't know. I think it was Lum and Abner. You know, I got hit on the eye so much that I had to carry a bird dog. To point out a neutral corner for me.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, did you finally find a neutral corner?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, but Loopy Velez wouldn't let me stay there.

Say, Red, when you fought, did you stand back and box like Jim Corbett? Or did you get in there and slug like Dempsey?

No, I ran like lightning.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Red, did they ever carry you out of the ring on a stretcher?

[Red Skelton]

No. You see, I used to have silver handles sewed onto my shorts.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Hi, everybody.

[Red Skelton]

Hello, Aussies. They were just talking about my prize fighting days. You know, I used to be a pugilist.

[Ozzie Nelson]

A what?

[Red Skelton]

A pugilus. Pugilus. P. U?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Yep, that's you. I can't imagine you as a fighter.

[Red Skelton]

Listen, Ozzie, I'm in pretty good shape even now considering that I was very puny when I was a baby. In fact, I was so puny when I was born they were gonna drown me.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, why didn't they?

[Red Skelton]

They were ashamed to be seen carrying me down to the river.

[Ozzie Nelson]

You know, Red, I think I'd make a good fighter myself. I have a very special. Here, feel my right arm.

[Red Skelton]

Say, your shoulder paddings are losing a little weight.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Now feel my left arm and listen here. Now get a load of this chest. Well, what do you think?

[Red Skelton]

I'm sorry, but I can't give you more than six cents a pound.

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Say, Harriet, isn't that the wedding March they're playing?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes, Red, it's the same old wedding March. Two young people, very much in love have just become man and wife. The bridegroom, portrayed by Ozzie, turns to the bride and he says something like this.

[Ozzie Nelson]

If you have troubles, dear, whatever they be, remember I'm always near to take the Wraps for thee. Time passes swiftly by and we find the same two people after they've been married for 20 years. And please, please remember we're only kidding.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I guess I'll have to dream the rest. You look so athletic. The day we were wed. Success has gone to your stomach instead of your head. Whatever happened to your chest? It must have slipped below your vest. You really put me to the test. You look so romantic. Before you were stout, your hair had such beautiful waves.

[Stiles Mackenzie]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Stiles Mackenzie helping you make those rooms sing. Today's style tip when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals go wild. Like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Fierce, this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors super superior.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Wayfair, every style, every home.

[Stiles Mackenzie]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms. Flyer. Today's style tip when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals go wild. Like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Ooh. Fierce, this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Red Skelton]

Wayfair, Every style, every home.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Before the tide went out. Now I count six or seven hares at best. I guess I'll have to dream the rest.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I guess you're right, says he. I'm not quite the guy I used to be. But though I hate to seem shy on chivalry, you know you've held out a thing or two on me. Don't let this make you too depressed. But you just never mentioned that you couldn't cook. You got all your recipes out of a book. One misprint I could not digest, and all that night I dreamed the rest. And next we find the same two people. This time they've been married for 50 years. And as our scene opens, they're returning from a party.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You'd better get right to bed and get some rest. You know you can't go to any more parties if you're going to play so hard at your age playing post office and running around the yard.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, that blonde said she liked my kisses best. Well, I guess I'll have to dream the rest.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Have mercy me. What a conceited man. My goodness sakes, Alive. Have you recently looked at your pan? What? They turn it down in an aluminum drive.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, though they say these times are not the best oh, what a wonderful age As I sit by my radio and hear those old sweet songs that mother used to know yes, and hear.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Those same old jokes that father liked the best.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Well, I guess I'll have to dream the rest.

[Red Skelton]

That was Harriet Hilliard and Ozzie Nelson with their own special brand of dreaming. And very good too.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, thank you, Red. Say, what'd you do last night?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, I went to a banquet. Oh, those long, drawn out speeches. Say, did you ever notice a different type of public speakers that we really have?

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, Red, I never have.

[Red Skelton]

You never did, eh? Well, to start off, we have the toastmaster. A guy who has a radiant personality. He's always well lit, he has trouble with the microphone and nothing he says makes sense. He's one of these type of guys. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. Hey, pipe down, will ya? Where do you think you're at, in a public library? Hey, Chris, you've been drinking. You don't get this way from eating peanuts.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Maybe the mic isn't on.

[Red Skelton]

Maybe not. Testing. 1, 2, 3. Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Jack Queen can. I've got an ideal Quietum down. Give me that bottle of gin, will you? That did it. Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make that due to the fact that Monday comes on Tuesday, this Wednesday, our regular Thursday meeting will be held on Friday, this Saturday, because Sunday's a holiday. What's the matter? Where's the floor for. I think while I've got the floor, I think I will go ahead and make my own spot. Speech. Where'd everybody go? Did you ever see a little kid making a speech at school? One of those little mean guys, you know, his mother has to prompt all the time. Look, I'll be the little boy, Harriet, and you be my mother. Okay, Red, I'll be the mean guy.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Now, Junior, be sure and face the audience and talk loud.

[Red Skelton]

No, I changed my mind. I don't want to do that.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, yes you will. You see this razor strap?

[Red Skelton]

Yes, I see the razor strap.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You know what I'm gonna do with it?

[Red Skelton]

Why do I care? Go ahead and shave.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Now look, you act like a little gentleman. Someone's coming.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah. Well, well, well, what a nice little boy. Here, my little man. Come here and let me pat you on the head. He's got all his teeth, hasn't he? You better see a doctor because they tell me I'D like poison like snake bites. Isn't he a cute little fellow? What kind of a speech are you going to make, Junior? Oh, wait a minute. Let's not get no deeper. This young man. Do you know who I am? No. Well, take a good look at my face. Well, what is it? True or false? Come on, Mom. Let's gram out of here. Junior.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Junior, wait. Where are you going?

[Red Skelton]

I'm going over to the amusement park and throw a skunk into the tunnel of love. Come on, Junior.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You come back here.

[Red Skelton]

No.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Now, don't worry, mister, he'll go on.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, no, I won't neither. I want to go over and see our pop made out at the ray track. Come on. Let go, Junior.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Here, put your shirt tail in. I'll comb your head.

[Red Skelton]

I'll introduce him. They won't like me. Oh, Junior, these people will love you. Why, they're just your type. You mean they ain't got no forehead?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Junior.

[Red Skelton]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Little Junior Skilton. No, I don't.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Go ahead.

[Red Skelton]

No, I don't want to. Come, come, come, little fellow. No, I had cared. I don't want to. Now. Now I know where to go. I wouldn't cry like that. Will you cry your way, bub? This is my way. I would go out there, but I can't think of what to say.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, well, don't be scared, darling. You go on out and I'll prompt you.

[Red Skelton]

Would you?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Yes. Now run on out there.

[Red Skelton]

Gee, look at the people. Ladies and gentlemen, I.

[Harriet Hilliard]

As I stand here.

[Red Skelton]

As I stand here and looking into your faces. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, as I stand here looking into your faces, I see that there's a lot of faces that really need looking into.

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, no. Junior, recite your poem.

[Red Skelton]

Which one?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Algae.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, no. That would lay an egg with its mob.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Go on, recite your poem anyway.

[Red Skelton]

All right, I'll do it. Algae. Algae. Saw a bear. The bear saw algae. The bear was bulgy. The buzz was algae.

[Stiles Mackenzie]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfarer message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Stiles Mackenzie helping you make those rooms sing. Today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com fierce this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Red Skelton]

Wayfair.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Every style, Every home.

[Red Skelton]

Then we have America's favorite speaker, the politician. Everybody likes him, but nobody Believes him one of these.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, Senator Skelton from the state of collapse.

Thank you, fellow voters. Thank you. I am more than delighted to be here in your beautiful city of Hollywood where visitors are greeted with open arms. Hit the road, you bum. Hollywood, the city that welcomes strangers. Get out of town, tourists. I'm here to tell you that I'm going to help you with your troubles in Washington. Worse, I may stay here a couple of months, but I doubt it. Hey, Senator, how you gonna balance the budget? Quiet, little man, or I'll revoke your breathing license. Now, listen to me. I'm John Public. And if you don't tell us how you're going to balance the budget, we're going to come up and get you. Oh, wait a minute, John. Come on, fellas, let's get this phony. Get away from him. You know, go to him. And so, dear John, good night. The speaker that really makes the big.

[Wonderful Smith]

Excuse me, Mr. Scalp.

[Red Skelton]

Well, wonderful, Smith.

[Wonderful Smith]

You know, you making them speeches. You sure was good. Well, you should have heard me make a speech the other night at the Harlem Chamber of Commerce.

[Red Skelton]

Really something, huh?

[Wonderful Smith]

Yes, sir. And Congress is now debating whether I should arm myself or not.

[Red Skelton]

Why? What happened?

[Wonderful Smith]

Well, while I was speaking, someone gave me a hot foot with a blowtorch.

[Red Skelton]

Give me a hot foot with a blowtorch.

[Wonderful Smith]

Oh, yes. And that was my first fireside chat.

[Red Skelton]

Very good. Say, what kind of a speech did you make?

[Wonderful Smith]

Well, it went something like this. Brothers, for the past three years, you have been eating pig feet. But if you votes for me, I'll give you something higher up on the hall. How am I doing?

[Red Skelton]

You sound like the Santa Monica streetcar. You don't care whether you make it or not. Say, you should talk to somebody who really knows about speeches. It'll help.

[Wonderful Smith]

Oh, well, I know how to get that right here on the telephone.

[Red Skelton]

Well, go ahead.

[Wonderful Smith]

Hello, operator? Give me the speaker of the house in Washington, D.C. hello, Speaker Raybone. This is wonderful Smith. Yes, sir. And I need a few pointers on how to be a great speaker.

[Red Skelton]

Well, you better hang up. He's a pretty busy guy, you know.

[Wonderful Smith]

You say every successful speaker's got a glass and a pitcher of water handy. Do it just have to be water? But, Mr. Speaker, water don't agree with me. It ain't got no vitamins.

[Red Skelton]

That other stuff hasn't got any vitamins either.

[Wonderful Smith]

I know, but if I'm going to miss my vitamins, it's gotta taste good. What'd you say, Mr. Speaker? Oh, yes, I'M running for political office. Yes, sir. I's a good politician. And if I's elected, I'm going to be the best politician that money can buy.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Pardon me, boy he's at the Chattanooga Choo Choo on track to 29 boy, you can give me a shine. I can afford to board a Chattanooga Choo Choo. Cause I got my fare at least I had it here somewhere. You leave the Pennsylvania station about a quarter to four Read a magazine and then you're in Baltimore. Dinner in the diner Nothing could be finer Than to have your ham and eggs in in Carolina when you hear the whistle blow and eight to the far Then you know that Tennessee is not very far. Shovel or la coal in gotta keep a rolling. Shoo shoo Chattanooga, there you are. There's gonna be a certain party at the station. All satin and lay I used to call funny there she's going to cry until I tell her that I'll never run. Choo choo chat nuka choo choo choo choo me home. Oh, choo choo choo choo.

[Red Skelton]

It.

Say, Red, I'm just a little worried.

See you had time there for a commercial.

Well, I thought you missed an announcement there, Red. On the other page, you know.

Oh, I did? Oh, that was Ozzie Nelson and the boys. Heading south on the Chattanooga Choo Choo. Thank you.

Say, Red, I'm a little worried.

You are? Brad, what's the matter?

Well, I've just been figuring what this year's income tax is going to cost me.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. You won't go hungry. Just save enough for all the coupons and maybe you can get a ham sandwich.

Well, Red, I guess it can't be that bad. But friends, taxes are a big factor these days. Those luxuries and extra things you want for yourself and for your home are costing you more than ever. But here's a solution. Smoke Raleigh cigarettes and save the valuable Raleigh coupons. They are redeemable for over 70 magnificent premiums. You'll find many things you've been wanting for a long time. You can get a complete set of silverware, automatic toasters, vacuum coffee brewers, complete poker sets, electric razors, and that's only a few. Now we have a 60 page catalog illustrating in full color all the Raleigh premiums. It's free. For your copy, just write Raleigh in care of the station to which you were listening. And friends, tonight start smoking Raleigh cigarettes. The pack with the coupon on the back. The cigarettes with the golden rich tobacco Blend Raleigh cigarettes.

Oh, that was swell, Truman.

Thanks.

We got it out.

Say, Rhett, I enjoyed your interpretation of the different types of speakers, but, say, did you ever see a nervous speaker?

Did I? I saw one guy that was so nervous that he turned green.

He turned green?

Yep. He was so green that a nearsighted lady came up, opened his mouth and tried to mail a letter in it.

What do you say, Red? Let's show the folks a nervous speaker.

Okay. As the scene opens, though, we find him at home getting ready to go to the banquet. Hurry up, dear.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You only have an hour to get to the banquet.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, I know. Say, have I got any clean shirts?

[Harriet Hilliard]

No, they haven't come back from Santa Anita.

[Red Skelton]

Hey, where are my socks?

[Harriet Hilliard]

They're on their way back from the laundry.

[Red Skelton]

What are they doing, hitchhiking?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, you'd have plenty of socks if you took off the old ones before you put on the clean ones.

[Red Skelton]

Gee, I guess I better run over my speech, hadn't I? Gentlemen and ladies.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, say, ladies and gentlemen. You dope. Ladies are before gentlemen.

[Red Skelton]

On what bus.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Are you about ready to go?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, as soon as I fasten this tight collar. There it went again.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, here, let me help you. My, I think your Adam's apple's getting bigger every day.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What an Adam's apple. How'd it get so big?

[Red Skelton]

Irrigation. Oh, that darn collar. There it went again.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I tell you, it's your Adam's apple. It's doing it.

[Red Skelton]

Well, I can't leave it here.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, don't swallow.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Come on, hurry up. Get your coat out of the closet.

[Red Skelton]

Okay. That closet must have been left over from the fiber McGee and Molly program. Well, I'm all ready. How do you like my dress suit? Huh? I say, how do you like my dress suit?

[Harriet Hilliard]

It looks like the Chattanooga Choo Choo had a wreck at Tuxedo Junction.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, thanks. Hey, what are these white things all over my coat?

[Harriet Hilliard]

Maws shake em off.

[Red Skelton]

Okay, one maw. Now I know what they mean by keep them flying.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Well, come on, let's go. Where's the car?

[Red Skelton]

It's stacked up outside.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I thought you had it parked in the backyard.

[Red Skelton]

I did, but the gophers kept dragging it down a hole. They thought it was a relative. Well, here's the car. Get in.

[Harriet Hilliard]

I'll get in the backseat.

[Red Skelton]

Okay, as long as I can hear you so I'll know what to do.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Now, wait. Light. Sit down.

[Red Skelton]

Ow. What's the matter? Oh, thanks. Gee, I've been looking for that oil can for three weeks. Well, let's go. Gee, there sure are a lot of people here at the banquet, aren't they? Gee, I'm probably the next speaker too.

[Harriet Hilliard]

What's the matter? You nervous? Stop shaking.

[Red Skelton]

I'm not shaking. I got a hangover from a pinball machine.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, well, don't be nervous. These people don't expect anything.

[Red Skelton]

Is that why they all got ropes?

[Harriet Hilliard]

They're probably cowboys.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, well, I ain't no little dogie.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Red Skeleton.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, boy. Red Skeleton's gonna make a speech.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Oh, snap out of it. That's you moth eaten.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentle ladies. Ladies, could I have some water, please?

[Ozzie Nelson]

Some water.

[Red Skelton]

There's some water.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Do you want it in glass or a cup?

[Red Skelton]

No, just wrap it up in a napkin.

[Harriet Hilliard]

Go on. Go on with your speech.

[Ozzie Nelson]

Here, have another drink of water.

[Red Skelton]

If I drink any more water, they'll have to build a dam behind me. Oh, there went my collar again. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a few notes. I have a few notes I would like to read from. I got a frog in my throat.

[Harriet Hilliard]

You've always got a frog in your throat.

[Red Skelton]

I know, but this time he brought a friend. I have notes to read from. I quote, Mr. Skelton, unless you make a payment on your wrong notes. And in conclusion, I would like to use a phrase that George Washington used in his farewell address. Goodbye.

Say, Red, you know, there's one very excellent speaker you've overlooked tonight.

Well, who could that be, Brad?

Why, the gentleman who speaks for our companion sponsor. Listen, gentlemen, if you want pipe smoking satisfaction at its very best, smoke Sir Walter Raleigh. It's the quality pipe tobacco of America. In fact, if you paid $100 a pound for a special mixture, you couldn't get a finer quality. Sir Walter Raleigh has a rich, mellow taste and flavor, a pleasing fragrant aroma. And it burns just exactly right. Extra cool, even and slow. It's little wonder Sir Walter Raleigh is a big favorite in the army, in the Navy, in the Marine Corps. On American college campuses, as everywhere, you find men who know and appreciate quality smoking. You'll like Sir Walter Raleigh too. Give it a trial tonight. Remember, we'll all be back again next week. Red Skelton, Ozzy Nelson and his music. Harriet Hilliard, wonderful Smith. And your announcer, Truman Bradley. Now, Red Skelton again.

We're a little early, folks. Goodbye now, Delta on this program here.

The Cutter ship at the Bowling Mayor studios. This is the Red Network of the national broadcaster traveling.